WEBVTT - DONKEY: Man Robs Kwik Shop Using Hostess Cinnamon Roll Box

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<v Speaker 1>I was donkey up today. Damn he hogged donkey to day.

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<v Speaker 1>I ain't trying to be donkey today no more. They

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<v Speaker 1>should be embarrassed by what they already did. I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>making new people do these things.

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<v Speaker 2>Called donkey of the day, and it really caught me

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<v Speaker 2>off guard. Damn Charla man who got the donkey out

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<v Speaker 2>of the day today? Wow?

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<v Speaker 1>Donkey today?

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<v Speaker 3>For Thursday, February twenty ninth, last day of Black History Month,

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<v Speaker 3>goes to a twenty four year old man named Isaiah

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<v Speaker 3>bar two. Isaiah is from Nebraska, Ladies and getlemen.

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<v Speaker 1>In in Nebraska. He might be.

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<v Speaker 3>It just depends on your definition of ill. Okay, by

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<v Speaker 3>ill you mean mentally, Yeah, that's probably true. See, Isaiah

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<v Speaker 3>was looking for a sweet licky. Y'all know what a

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<v Speaker 3>sweet lick is, right, Huh, all your toxic studs, calm down.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm not talking about that kind of sweet lick, all right, Okay,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm talking about the kind of sweet lick that the

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<v Speaker 3>Urban Dictionary defines his easy money. Basically, if I wanted

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<v Speaker 3>to rob you, make something from you, it would be

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<v Speaker 3>easy to do so. I guess Isaiah, knowing he had

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<v Speaker 3>a sweet lick, decided to use something sweet to get

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<v Speaker 3>the lick off all the toxic studs out there, like

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<v Speaker 3>Uncle Sharlah, What are you talking about? Why do you

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<v Speaker 3>keep talking about sweets and licks? You're making us hungry

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<v Speaker 3>and horny.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm anshop. Well, let's go to ten eleven Now News

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<v Speaker 1>for the report. Police.

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<v Speaker 4>A Lincoln man is in jail or accused of holding

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<v Speaker 4>up a Quick Shop and taking money from the register.

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<v Speaker 4>Police say Isaiah bar Two walked into the store earlier

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<v Speaker 4>this week and demanded money and employee tels officers. Bar

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<v Speaker 4>Two had a Hostess cinnamon roll box over his hand,

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<v Speaker 4>making them believe he was armed with a gun. Now,

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<v Speaker 4>they gave him money and he took off. Investigators say

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<v Speaker 4>bar Two was later found nearby with a handgun. I

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<v Speaker 4>don't get him money and meth. He's facing a number

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<v Speaker 4>of charges, including for robbery and weapons violations.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't get it. This is what I don't understand.

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<v Speaker 3>If you actually had a handgun that police caught you with,

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<v Speaker 3>Lada to the robbery. Why would you rob quick Shop

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<v Speaker 3>with a box of Hostess cinnamon rolls?

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<v Speaker 1>What is the reason you had a pistol? But you

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<v Speaker 1>decided to use pastries? This man has a gun tat

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<v Speaker 1>it on his right forearm.

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<v Speaker 3>Why I don't know, because clearly it's just for show,

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<v Speaker 3>because he chose cinnabuns over guns.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>I like cinna buns over guns too, especially when I'm

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<v Speaker 3>high off marijuana with the munchies and when I'm at

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<v Speaker 3>Charlston International Airport, but not when robbing a quick shop. Okay,

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<v Speaker 3>we all play too much, all right. I don't understand

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<v Speaker 3>why humans play with their.

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<v Speaker 1>Own lives and the lives of others.

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<v Speaker 3>You go in quick shop with a box of cinnamon rolls,

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<v Speaker 3>not a person behind the counter is fin for their

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<v Speaker 3>life because they think you got a gun. They might

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<v Speaker 3>have a gun, and they might be fast on the draw.

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<v Speaker 3>Next thing you know, you dead over a Danish How

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<v Speaker 3>you gonna explain that in the afterlife?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay?

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<v Speaker 3>Sitting in hell over Hostess cinnamon rolls eternal hell fire

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<v Speaker 3>for cinnamon swirrels. The news report says the female clerk

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<v Speaker 3>feared the container of Hostess cinnamon rolls contained a handgun,

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<v Speaker 3>That's why she gave up the money.

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<v Speaker 1>But no, it was just individually.

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<v Speaker 3>Wrapped frosted pastries. Young lady, you did the right things.

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<v Speaker 3>Drop on the cluthes box of that young lady. This

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<v Speaker 3>isn't social media where you have time to figure out

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<v Speaker 3>if something is real or not.

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<v Speaker 1>Quick shopping' dying for you.

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<v Speaker 3>Give that man a couple of dollars for his latest

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<v Speaker 3>meth habit and move on.

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<v Speaker 1>Now.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know whether the blameness on the meth or

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<v Speaker 3>the current society we live in.

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<v Speaker 1>See.

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<v Speaker 3>I understand drugs make you do something strange for a

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<v Speaker 3>little bit of change, but we also just live in

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<v Speaker 3>a strange society. It's a bizarre world where a man

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<v Speaker 3>would absolutely leave his pistol at home but put his

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<v Speaker 3>hostess in a gun hoster to go rob the quick shops,

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<v Speaker 3>only to get caught and charged for his pistol later.

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<v Speaker 3>Some don'ty today is just sell themselves. Please give Isaiah

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<v Speaker 3>bar two to sweech downs of the Hamilton's.

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<v Speaker 1>You all.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh the day, ye oh the day.

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<v Speaker 1>Ye.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know why you squeezing that bottle of water

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<v Speaker 2>like that?

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<v Speaker 1>That really gets to me.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know why. It's like why why you just

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<v Speaker 2>won't just why do you have to squeeze the bottle

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<v Speaker 2>of water like that?

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<v Speaker 1>Look at that? But he does that with everything like

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<v Speaker 1>he's very rough paused with everything. You see the way

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<v Speaker 1>he puts lotion on his face. He beats his face up.

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<v Speaker 1>You see where he put absolutely beats.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm so judgmental in this room, wanting to be so judgmental.

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<v Speaker 1>No, we're not judging you.

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<v Speaker 2>We want you to take better care of yourself and

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<v Speaker 2>calm down.

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<v Speaker 1>Calm down. I have strength. It's crazy. I have a

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<v Speaker 1>quick announcement.

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<v Speaker 3>By the way, you know that I am a New

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<v Speaker 3>York Times Give me some drum rolls or something. You

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<v Speaker 3>know I am a New York Times bestselling author, Right, yes, sir,

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<v Speaker 3>national bestseller. Thank you to everyone who has purchased my

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<v Speaker 3>first book, Black Privilege, Opportunity Comes to Those who created,

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<v Speaker 3>which came out in twenty sixteen. Thank you to everyone

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<v Speaker 3>who supported my second book, Shook One of Anxiety Playing

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<v Speaker 3>Tricks on Me that came out in twenty eighteen. And

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<v Speaker 3>since then, I've launched my own book imprint with Simon

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<v Speaker 3>and Schuston called Black Privileged Publishing.

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<v Speaker 1>And I am proud to announce this morning that.

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<v Speaker 3>My third book titled Get Honest Are Die Line? Why

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<v Speaker 3>Small Talk Sucks? I repeat, my third book titled Get

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<v Speaker 3>Honest Are Die Line?

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<v Speaker 1>Why small Talk Sucks will.

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<v Speaker 3>Be available May twenty first, twenty twenty four, okay, and

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<v Speaker 3>it is available for pre order everywhere you buy books now. Okay,

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<v Speaker 3>So whether it's Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, wherever you buy

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<v Speaker 3>your books, you can go purchase pre order my third

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<v Speaker 3>book right now, Get Honest or Die Line Why Small

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<v Speaker 3>Talk Sucks?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay. The book is literally how I hate small talk

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<v Speaker 1>on all levels. All right, don't just come up to

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<v Speaker 1>me talking about nothing for the sake of talking. And

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<v Speaker 1>it's how It's.

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<v Speaker 3>About how we make micros macros in this society and

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<v Speaker 3>we spend so much time talking about small things that

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<v Speaker 3>don't matter.

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<v Speaker 1>So May twenty.

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<v Speaker 3>First, twenty twenty four, my third book, Get Honest, are

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<v Speaker 3>Die Line, Why Small Talk Sucks, will be in bookstores everywhere,

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<v Speaker 3>but it's available for pre order right now.

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<v Speaker 1>There you go. Congratulations. Okay, So who thought of the title?

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<v Speaker 1>The author? It is so long, that's like it's really

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<v Speaker 1>get what is it? Let me show you how it

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<v Speaker 1>looks on the books. That's just like the movie. And

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<v Speaker 1>you see get one line. I grew up Jehovah's Witness, right,

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<v Speaker 1>so I'm gonna my cousin did Yeah? Who she no London.

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<v Speaker 1>So this is like my book of Bible stores that

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<v Speaker 1>we grew up on. See like the yellow with the

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<v Speaker 1>red funt yes, the ones that will ring the door

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<v Speaker 1>bell one, get on us to die line, Why small

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<v Speaker 1>talk stucks? Okay, available for pre order right now everywhere

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<v Speaker 1>you buy books.

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<v Speaker 2>But that just really reminds me of like the movie

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<v Speaker 2>I Know what you did last Summer, and then the

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<v Speaker 2>party was like I still know what you did last summer,

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<v Speaker 2>and then was.

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<v Speaker 1>Like I still get.

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<v Speaker 2>No please.

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<v Speaker 1>That is so long because the title so long. All

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<v Speaker 1>my taco line.

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<v Speaker 3>Black privilege opportunity comes to those who created shook and anxiety,

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<v Speaker 3>playing tricks on me, Getting honest or die line, Why

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<v Speaker 3>small talk sucks? You can't even say it fast because

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<v Speaker 3>you I don't want to say it fast.

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<v Speaker 1>Get our die line? Why small talk? What's the first one?

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<v Speaker 1>What's the first one? Get honest to di line? No,

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<v Speaker 1>what's the first one? Black privilege opportunity comes to those exactly.

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<v Speaker 2>It's so long, you gotta like really really get it down.

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<v Speaker 1>Bestseller, go preorder your book right now.

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<v Speaker 2>Everyone saying that I'm a New York bestseller.

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<v Speaker 1>Everybody is.

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<v Speaker 2>You're gonna be saying that to My book is just

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<v Speaker 2>gonna be called clip Burnson.

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<v Speaker 1>Not what it's just gonna be called.

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<v Speaker 3>Donkey Today is sponsored by renowned personal injury attorney Michael

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<v Speaker 3>to Bull Lamb and stuff.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't be a donkey when you need a fighter on

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<v Speaker 1>your side.

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<v Speaker 3>If you're ever injured, go to Michael to Bull dot com.

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<v Speaker 1>That's Michael to Bull dot com. And when you mess

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<v Speaker 1>with the bull, you get the Haunch. Wake that ass

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<v Speaker 1>up in the morning. Breakfast Club