1 00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:03,720 Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya Red and I 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:11,520 Speaker 1: heart radio podcast. Okay, everybody, I am so excited for 3 00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:19,040 Speaker 1: our guests today. I'm like beaming with this and I'm 4 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:21,840 Speaker 1: so excited. But we have Jenna Kut You're scrubbing in today, 5 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:26,040 Speaker 1: so please welcome her. I mean, like, I need like 6 00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:29,760 Speaker 1: gloves and likes to be on this show. But then 7 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:32,479 Speaker 1: the sound quality would go real down. I know, you know, 8 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 1: we used to do like these bits where we would 9 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:38,040 Speaker 1: put on scrubs and all the gear and then all 10 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:40,520 Speaker 1: of a sudden we were fully in the pandemic and 11 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:46,440 Speaker 1: not ironically wearing those things. Thank you so much for 12 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:50,120 Speaker 1: scrubbing In. I We have been encouraged to pitch guests 13 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:53,080 Speaker 1: for the show, like more recently, and Tanya always has 14 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 1: like a laundry list of people, and we've been talking 15 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:58,320 Speaker 1: to a lot. And I reached out to our producer 16 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:00,720 Speaker 1: the other day when I was at your Instagram, and 17 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:02,800 Speaker 1: I was like, can we please this is my first 18 00:01:02,840 --> 00:01:05,840 Speaker 1: official pitch. Can we please reach out to Jenna and 19 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,160 Speaker 1: get her on the show because you represent so much 20 00:01:08,160 --> 00:01:11,640 Speaker 1: of what our podcast, what we hope it does for people. 21 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:14,520 Speaker 1: So I'm really happy to be chatting with you today, 22 00:01:14,800 --> 00:01:18,560 Speaker 1: I said yes so fast because I listened to your 23 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:22,600 Speaker 1: show so like when things go full sir like that, 24 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:24,800 Speaker 1: it's like the best. I was listening to Caitlin's episode 25 00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:27,120 Speaker 1: on Manifesting, and I was like, I feel like the 26 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:29,319 Speaker 1: fact that like I get to be on this show 27 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:34,679 Speaker 1: is like straight up manifesting in action, so oh my gosh. 28 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:37,120 Speaker 1: And it's so like, don't you feel even when she 29 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:39,240 Speaker 1: was talking about like all these crazy things where she 30 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:41,039 Speaker 1: I mean, I don't sleep with like a mirror ball 31 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:44,120 Speaker 1: in my hand like she does. That's like next level status. 32 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:46,560 Speaker 1: But I also feel like there's so many things in 33 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 1: life like that where it's like, oh, just makes sense, 34 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:51,600 Speaker 1: this is amazing, So thank you. I feel that way too. 35 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:55,160 Speaker 1: And wait, that's a really good idea sleeping with a 36 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,080 Speaker 1: mirror well not the mirrorbab because I don't care about that. 37 00:01:57,160 --> 00:02:00,800 Speaker 1: But do you want to hear something kind of crazy? Though? Okay, 38 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:03,200 Speaker 1: we'll we'll smooth switch gears after this, because you just 39 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:06,160 Speaker 1: talked about manifesting. But um so I just had a 40 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:10,360 Speaker 1: book come out and I I really wanted to hit 41 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:13,119 Speaker 1: the New York Times bestseller list and it's really hard 42 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:15,960 Speaker 1: to do like, there's it's a really tricky thing. So 43 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:18,560 Speaker 1: months and months and months ago, I got this ring 44 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:21,880 Speaker 1: engraved and on the inside of it it says New 45 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:26,720 Speaker 1: York Times Bestseller. And I didn't tell anyone, even my 46 00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:30,200 Speaker 1: husband because it matches my wedding band, so like he 47 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:34,520 Speaker 1: didn't know. I swapped them. And when I wrote my book, 48 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 1: I was pregnant with my second daughter, and someone on 49 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:40,000 Speaker 1: my team had said, like, just as the baby's heartbeat 50 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:43,200 Speaker 1: is getting stronger, so did your book get stronger throughout 51 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:46,000 Speaker 1: the process, And so this is the finger that connects 52 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,680 Speaker 1: to your heartbeat. And so I was like, I'm just 53 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:51,240 Speaker 1: gonna wear this ring and if I don't get it, 54 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:53,480 Speaker 1: I'm never telling his soul. And the night that I 55 00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:56,280 Speaker 1: got the phone call, I was like, Babe, babe, checked 56 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:57,960 Speaker 1: this out and I like handed him the ring and 57 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:00,519 Speaker 1: he was like looking like this isn't your band, and 58 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:02,920 Speaker 1: all I was like, I got it months ago, and 59 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,400 Speaker 1: I just wanted to stay connected to that goal. And 60 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:11,320 Speaker 1: we hit it Isn't that wild? That is so breaking cool? 61 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,239 Speaker 1: Isn't that? And I was like, I won't tell anyone 62 00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 1: if it doesn't happen, Like you know, I don't know 63 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,520 Speaker 1: it's just like keeping it close to my own heart. 64 00:03:19,639 --> 00:03:25,680 Speaker 1: Um but yeah, Antonia's faces are turning. You have no 65 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:30,000 Speaker 1: freaking clue, Like I've never bought myself a birthday present before, 66 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:31,920 Speaker 1: but I think I'm going to this year. Here it 67 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:36,800 Speaker 1: is Jenna for people who, for whatever reason, don't know 68 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:40,000 Speaker 1: what you do. How you do so much? Like how 69 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:43,440 Speaker 1: where do you begin introducing what you do? Because you 70 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:48,000 Speaker 1: it's so much and you're you're now a New York 71 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:50,920 Speaker 1: Times bestseller, But where did it start? Like how what 72 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,560 Speaker 1: do you describe yourself as? Yeah, so I'm coming at 73 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:56,880 Speaker 1: you from Duluth, Minnesota. So I do not live in 74 00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:59,960 Speaker 1: a big city, and I never have. My whole journeys 75 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:02,880 Speaker 1: happened in towns of ten thousand people are less, so 76 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:06,560 Speaker 1: shout out to anyone living in a small town. Um. 77 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:09,000 Speaker 1: But I am the host of the gold Digger podcast, 78 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,240 Speaker 1: which is the number one marketing podcast in the country, 79 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:16,560 Speaker 1: which originated in my closet. Um. I literally just recently 80 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,680 Speaker 1: stopped recording in my closet because of like, oh, I 81 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:22,520 Speaker 1: gotta get a little more legit for like interviews and things. Um. 82 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:25,200 Speaker 1: I also teach a lot of business. So when I 83 00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:28,240 Speaker 1: was twenty three, I worked in corporate America. I was 84 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:31,640 Speaker 1: handed my five year plan and realized that I didn't 85 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:33,640 Speaker 1: know exactly what I wanted, but I knew I didn't 86 00:04:33,680 --> 00:04:36,000 Speaker 1: want someone to plan in my life for me, and 87 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:38,039 Speaker 1: so I tried to figure out how to get out 88 00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:40,159 Speaker 1: of that. And I never planned on being an entrepreneur, 89 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,880 Speaker 1: but it just was like the vehicle out of what 90 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:46,280 Speaker 1: I didn't want, and so I became a wedding photographer, 91 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:49,159 Speaker 1: taught myself everything from top to bottom, and within three 92 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:52,240 Speaker 1: years had been named the top wedding photographer in Wisconsin. 93 00:04:52,279 --> 00:04:54,840 Speaker 1: I had never taken an art class, just was like 94 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,039 Speaker 1: trying to figure out how to get out of the 95 00:04:57,080 --> 00:05:00,680 Speaker 1: corporate world and figured out a lot of ways to businesses. 96 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:04,599 Speaker 1: And so that passion really fueled all of the next steps, 97 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:08,800 Speaker 1: which was teaching business to other women UM, starting the podcast, 98 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:12,120 Speaker 1: and then releasing my book how Are You Really UM, 99 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:14,880 Speaker 1: which actually isn't a business book at all. I had 100 00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:17,680 Speaker 1: this huge realization that, you know, I feel like, as 101 00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:20,440 Speaker 1: women coming out of the pandemic, there's just so much 102 00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:23,520 Speaker 1: need for depth in our lives. Like it feels like 103 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:26,039 Speaker 1: we're swimming on the surface, and I feel like we 104 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:28,320 Speaker 1: are busier now than ever, but we go to bed 105 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:30,480 Speaker 1: at night in our mind races and we're like, am 106 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:32,920 Speaker 1: I missing the point of life? Like I feel like 107 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:34,880 Speaker 1: I'm doing all these things, but I don't know what 108 00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,600 Speaker 1: the point of all of this is. And so yeah, 109 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:40,640 Speaker 1: I wrote a book during the pandemic, well pregnant, and 110 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,440 Speaker 1: um just released it into the world. So I do 111 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:45,440 Speaker 1: a lot of things. But I tell my grandpa, who 112 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:49,800 Speaker 1: doesn't understand it, I say, basically, it's like I teach sermons, 113 00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:53,080 Speaker 1: but on business, and it's kind of like a radio 114 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:58,120 Speaker 1: show that simplifies. And I actually pretty good. Yeah, you 115 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:00,520 Speaker 1: know the Midwest. I'm like, how can we grip but 116 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:05,840 Speaker 1: understand what this is? Well, so you when you were 117 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:08,760 Speaker 1: I think when I started following you as a photography 118 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 1: was like, you're That's kind of why I started following you, 119 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:16,400 Speaker 1: and um, I had just actually gone to Hawaiian I 120 00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:21,200 Speaker 1: shot with Lindsay Roman, and so soon after that or 121 00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:24,599 Speaker 1: right before that, I can't remember, but you she shot 122 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:27,760 Speaker 1: you and your husband and there was this like viral moment, 123 00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 1: and can you talk about that because it was kind 124 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,640 Speaker 1: of it was a conversation that was so important and 125 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:36,200 Speaker 1: and you weren't we see it a lot more now, 126 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:40,520 Speaker 1: but it was a conversation that was so necessary, especially 127 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:43,480 Speaker 1: on social media at that time, which only presented like 128 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:47,960 Speaker 1: picture perfect aesthetic. And I look back on photos at 129 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:50,719 Speaker 1: that time and I had zero pores on my face 130 00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:53,719 Speaker 1: because I face tuned them so much. So, just like 131 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,719 Speaker 1: that conversation, that topic, I would love to hear this. 132 00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:00,240 Speaker 1: So it was four years ago now, so we have 133 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:03,840 Speaker 1: been friends for four years, which is wild. Um, but 134 00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:06,960 Speaker 1: my husband has the six pack and I don't know 135 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:09,720 Speaker 1: any other way to describe it, but like health and 136 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:14,920 Speaker 1: fitness is his passion, business and entrepreneurship is mine. And um, 137 00:07:15,040 --> 00:07:17,320 Speaker 1: we had done these photos in Hawaii, and we used 138 00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:19,720 Speaker 1: to spend a lot of time in Hawaii, and so 139 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:23,239 Speaker 1: I was always in swimsuits and I am a size twelve. 140 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:26,640 Speaker 1: I'm not, you know, perfectly toned. And my body had 141 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,480 Speaker 1: actually been through a lot by that point because I 142 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:31,200 Speaker 1: had two miscarriages while we were trying to grow our family, 143 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:32,920 Speaker 1: and so I felt like my body was just in 144 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:35,880 Speaker 1: this constant state of like almost and then not really. 145 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:39,360 Speaker 1: And um, while we were in Hawaii, this girl had 146 00:07:39,520 --> 00:07:42,800 Speaker 1: messaged me via the old d M s and was like, 147 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:45,920 Speaker 1: how did a girl like you managed to land a 148 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:50,360 Speaker 1: guy like that? And I remember reading it and I 149 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:54,040 Speaker 1: was so taken aback because honestly, it felt like she 150 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:57,120 Speaker 1: was calling out my deepest insecurity, Like we all have 151 00:07:57,280 --> 00:08:00,800 Speaker 1: those things where in our brain we're like everyone is 152 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:03,880 Speaker 1: thinking this, even though no one probably is, but when 153 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:07,960 Speaker 1: someone speaks at into existence, it is like for you, 154 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,920 Speaker 1: it feels like the like floodlight came on and you're like, 155 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,360 Speaker 1: and everyone thinks that, so why not? Why not just 156 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:16,000 Speaker 1: say something? And so I sat with it for a 157 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:19,080 Speaker 1: few days and then um, I had these pictures of 158 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:20,440 Speaker 1: us in our bathing suits, and I was like, you 159 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:22,160 Speaker 1: know what, I'm going to clap back at this because 160 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,720 Speaker 1: I was like, how did he land a girl like me? 161 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:27,800 Speaker 1: Should be the question? Um? And so I just like 162 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:30,040 Speaker 1: wrote back and I was like, you know, someone slid 163 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:32,280 Speaker 1: into my d MS asking me this question, and like 164 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,640 Speaker 1: we have been through a decade of life together, we 165 00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:38,000 Speaker 1: have been through loss, Like he has loved me at 166 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:40,520 Speaker 1: every stage of my body and every stage of this life, 167 00:08:40,559 --> 00:08:42,520 Speaker 1: and like we are so much more than our bodies. 168 00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:45,720 Speaker 1: And it was crazy because I posted it and then 169 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:47,520 Speaker 1: I was going out for a girl's night and I 170 00:08:47,559 --> 00:08:50,120 Speaker 1: like dropped my phone in my purse and like hours 171 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:54,400 Speaker 1: later it was everywhere like Yahoo, People, Magazine, like it 172 00:08:54,559 --> 00:08:57,319 Speaker 1: just blew up. And it was like one of those 173 00:08:57,360 --> 00:09:01,040 Speaker 1: things where I was like, how is this blowing up? Um? 174 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:02,720 Speaker 1: And it was a blessing and a curse because like 175 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:05,440 Speaker 1: going viral, you can't control it, which it's just in 176 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:08,160 Speaker 1: its nature. It's like, wow, it's really wild. And then 177 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:10,560 Speaker 1: it's also like nobody tells you what to do when 178 00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:13,800 Speaker 1: this happens, um. And what people didn't know behind the 179 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:16,520 Speaker 1: scenes was we were trying to conceive for the third time, 180 00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:18,920 Speaker 1: and so it was such a tender time in my 181 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,880 Speaker 1: life for my body anyways, and so then to have 182 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:24,000 Speaker 1: my body on a pedestal and have all these Internet 183 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:27,839 Speaker 1: strangers commenting on it was fascinating, um, but also a 184 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:30,160 Speaker 1: blessing in disguise because it brought a lot of amazing 185 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:33,240 Speaker 1: people into my corner of the Internet. I feel like 186 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:36,160 Speaker 1: it went viral because it was a conversation that people 187 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:40,040 Speaker 1: were so desperate, like it was. It was something I 188 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:43,240 Speaker 1: think specifically at that time, you weren't seeing these real 189 00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:47,800 Speaker 1: these real photos, or like people weren't seeing inside what 190 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:50,080 Speaker 1: the d ms looked like. For people, you know, And 191 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:53,960 Speaker 1: I think it went viral because it was so needed 192 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:59,679 Speaker 1: and people were craving to feel seen beyond the perfection 193 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:03,160 Speaker 1: that social media presented at that time. Isn't it crazy 194 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,200 Speaker 1: though too? If you think about it, how many times 195 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:08,040 Speaker 1: in our lives do we see like a stunning woman 196 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:11,440 Speaker 1: with like an overweight bald man and nobody says anything 197 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:14,160 Speaker 1: about that. But the moment you see like a hot 198 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:18,000 Speaker 1: guy with like a different type of girl, You're like, oh, 199 00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:19,840 Speaker 1: what is she? She must be rich or like you 200 00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:21,319 Speaker 1: know what I mean, like all these things, and it's 201 00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:24,400 Speaker 1: so funny because I'm like, this stereotype is so funny 202 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,679 Speaker 1: because nobody questioned, like the fat bald businessman how they 203 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:30,960 Speaker 1: landed their hot wives, So why are we getting it crossed? 204 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,600 Speaker 1: It's so weird to me. I mean, don't even get 205 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:37,600 Speaker 1: me started on this. We could have a whole separate 206 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 1: podcast on that. Um. But I I think I've been 207 00:10:42,679 --> 00:10:44,839 Speaker 1: always so drawn to you, and I think after that, 208 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:49,080 Speaker 1: like it made me want to to stop like overfiltering 209 00:10:49,080 --> 00:10:51,320 Speaker 1: my photos, Like it was just such a It was 210 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:54,360 Speaker 1: such a I don't want to be cliche and say like, oh, 211 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:57,480 Speaker 1: it's so inspiring, but it really was such a turning 212 00:10:57,520 --> 00:10:59,800 Speaker 1: point I think for so many people on social media 213 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:03,520 Speaker 1: where it felt like like a being able to release 214 00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:06,280 Speaker 1: a breath that we've been holding. Can I tell you 215 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:08,840 Speaker 1: something to like when it comes Like one of the 216 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,400 Speaker 1: greatest lessons I learned in that is like the things 217 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,240 Speaker 1: that we try to keep hidden are the things that 218 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:17,880 Speaker 1: we will likely be celebrated the most for. And I 219 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:20,920 Speaker 1: know you know what I'm saying, because it's like that 220 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:23,760 Speaker 1: comment of like I've always just believed in my life 221 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:25,920 Speaker 1: that when people see us together, they just think we're 222 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,640 Speaker 1: mismatt and so when somebody called that out and like 223 00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:31,560 Speaker 1: brought it into the light, like I was almost so embarrassed. 224 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,280 Speaker 1: And I think a lot of times, like with this 225 00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:37,480 Speaker 1: vulnerability movement, like it's almost like our coping nature to 226 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:39,880 Speaker 1: be like, here's everything that's wrong with me, and I'm 227 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:41,600 Speaker 1: gonna say that I already know all these things are 228 00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,920 Speaker 1: wrong with me, so that you can't weaponize them against me. 229 00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:47,680 Speaker 1: And I think it's like this fascinating thing because you know, 230 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,680 Speaker 1: for me, it's like some of the things that I'm 231 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,640 Speaker 1: most insecure about are the things that connect me the 232 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:55,640 Speaker 1: most with people, like cellulite and ingrown hairs and like 233 00:11:55,679 --> 00:11:58,720 Speaker 1: the dumbest like a body that's had babies and like 234 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:01,160 Speaker 1: things like that, and it it's now I'm like at 235 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:04,680 Speaker 1: a point where it's like so much more than my body, 236 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:07,480 Speaker 1: and it's like so much more making other people feel 237 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:10,200 Speaker 1: less alone because it's like when we scroll and see 238 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:12,960 Speaker 1: these perfect photos, were like looking at ourselves in the mirror, 239 00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:15,360 Speaker 1: We're like, how why do I have pores? And they 240 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,920 Speaker 1: don't And it's like we are eyes and brains trick 241 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:21,240 Speaker 1: us every day into what we think is real, and 242 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:23,920 Speaker 1: we're missing, like what's actually real right in front of us. 243 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:42,200 Speaker 1: I remember I was like so obsessed with this one 244 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:45,440 Speaker 1: supermodel filter for a really long time that I was like, God, 245 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:47,160 Speaker 1: it looks so hot with this filter, and I was 246 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,120 Speaker 1: just using it all the time, remember, and then yeah, 247 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:50,760 Speaker 1: you really I want to get this done. I was like, no, 248 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:54,760 Speaker 1: done to my face, and I was like, that's what's 249 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:59,160 Speaker 1: really sick. Surgeons are doing right now, filtered photos and 250 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:01,240 Speaker 1: they'll say this is I want to look like but 251 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:03,440 Speaker 1: because you just get used to seeing yourself with this 252 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:05,800 Speaker 1: supermodel filter, so I'm like, well, I just want to 253 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,600 Speaker 1: like oh, and then I'm like I don't look like 254 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:09,880 Speaker 1: that all the time and then you get like depressed 255 00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:13,200 Speaker 1: about it. It's like really backwards and really weird. But 256 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:16,800 Speaker 1: I also I remember that. And there was also a 257 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:20,480 Speaker 1: moment where she literally goes, should I should I get 258 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:23,000 Speaker 1: should I like make myself look like shock, make my lips, 259 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:25,120 Speaker 1: and I go, you're in my mind. I was like, 260 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:28,080 Speaker 1: you're so much prettier than that, like than that, you know, 261 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:32,640 Speaker 1: And and then it was like that's how like other 262 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:35,880 Speaker 1: people see us, but we we see ourselves in such 263 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:39,160 Speaker 1: a negative and like criticize. We criticize ourselves so much 264 00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:40,959 Speaker 1: on the things that we think we need to fix, 265 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:44,240 Speaker 1: but like that's not what other people are focused on it. 266 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:47,800 Speaker 1: It's so weird. It's so weird, and it's here's something 267 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:52,199 Speaker 1: that totally refrained everything for me. So there's this story 268 00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:54,079 Speaker 1: that didn't make the cut for the book. It was 269 00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:55,960 Speaker 1: like one of my favorite chapters and we just ended 270 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,400 Speaker 1: up cutting it at the very end. But um, so, 271 00:13:58,480 --> 00:14:00,600 Speaker 1: I have a little daughter. She's three and half now. 272 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:02,520 Speaker 1: Her name is Coco, but she was like two at 273 00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:04,800 Speaker 1: the time, and one morning I went to wake her 274 00:14:04,880 --> 00:14:06,360 Speaker 1: up and she was like in her little sleep sack 275 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:08,480 Speaker 1: and I like, unzip it and lean over the crib 276 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:11,320 Speaker 1: and my husband Drew was like a kneat freak, like 277 00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:14,000 Speaker 1: that man a bottle of index, like two pies in 278 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:17,280 Speaker 1: a pod, and I like, unzip her little sleepsack. And 279 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:19,560 Speaker 1: I watched her lick her finger and try to wipe 280 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:21,960 Speaker 1: a mole off of her arm, like wipe it off, 281 00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,560 Speaker 1: and she's like dirt, dirt, and I was like no, no, 282 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:26,360 Speaker 1: no, no no, no, baby, like that's not dirt. This is 283 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:29,040 Speaker 1: your special spot, like it makes you special, like it 284 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:31,360 Speaker 1: doesn't need to be gone. And I was like, oh 285 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:34,200 Speaker 1: my gosh, profound parenting moment. I'm mom of the ear 286 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:37,800 Speaker 1: and she's like pancakes. Like that moment ended so fast. Well, 287 00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:39,600 Speaker 1: the next morning, I go to wake her up and 288 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:42,160 Speaker 1: like n zip her little sleepy sack, and instead of 289 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:45,280 Speaker 1: trying to remove it, she kissed it. And then she 290 00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:47,600 Speaker 1: grabbed my arm and found a little mole on it 291 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:51,520 Speaker 1: and kissed it too, And I realized one like how 292 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:54,840 Speaker 1: malleable our brains are. Like when someone tells you like, no, 293 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,600 Speaker 1: this makes you unique, like this makes you special. It's 294 00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:59,880 Speaker 1: like if somebody that we love can speak that in 295 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:03,080 Speaker 1: to our lives enough, we'll start to believe it, but 296 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:06,480 Speaker 1: too when we start to accept things about ourselves, it 297 00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:09,320 Speaker 1: makes it so much easier to accept those types of 298 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:12,240 Speaker 1: things and other people. And so it was like so 299 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:14,760 Speaker 1: profound to me because I was like, I cannot imagine, 300 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:17,440 Speaker 1: like if my daughter came up to me and was like, mom, 301 00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:20,600 Speaker 1: you messed up on me? Like why am I this way? 302 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:23,160 Speaker 1: Like I am ugly, I'm not perfect, Like to me, 303 00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:26,240 Speaker 1: she is the most perfect little being in all the world. 304 00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:28,640 Speaker 1: But like, whether you believe in God or the universe 305 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:31,760 Speaker 1: or whatever, it's like basically every day that we're criticizing yourselves, 306 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:33,680 Speaker 1: were saying like why did you mess up on me? 307 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:36,400 Speaker 1: And it's like when you think about it in that context, 308 00:15:36,440 --> 00:15:39,520 Speaker 1: it's like really sad because it's like to somebody, we 309 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:42,600 Speaker 1: are perfect, and like how do we see ourselves through 310 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,560 Speaker 1: the eyes of the people that love us? Like you 311 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:46,840 Speaker 1: guys do that for each other. And I think so 312 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:49,400 Speaker 1: many people listening or like I wish I had Rebecca 313 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:51,440 Speaker 1: or Antonia in my life to like speak those things 314 00:15:51,520 --> 00:15:54,120 Speaker 1: over me. It's so true and I'm sure you can relate, 315 00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:57,040 Speaker 1: and I'm sure you can also relate Jenna, But I mean, Haley, 316 00:15:57,200 --> 00:16:00,560 Speaker 1: my girlfriend, she I'll have no makeup on and I'm like, oh, 317 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:04,160 Speaker 1: my milasma, like oh, and she's like it looks so beautiful, 318 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:07,000 Speaker 1: like you don't need any makeup, and I'm like, I 319 00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:11,000 Speaker 1: don't know. I see myself like, you know, like I've 320 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:13,760 Speaker 1: kind of started looking at my melasma spots to me 321 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:16,680 Speaker 1: like that's character. That's like, you know, maybe I can 322 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:19,920 Speaker 1: see it as cute, you know, like trying to teach 323 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:23,760 Speaker 1: myself that it's to see myself the way that someone 324 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:26,720 Speaker 1: you've lived a life and you've been out in the sunshine. 325 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:30,080 Speaker 1: But that's so funny. It's so funny because like I, um, 326 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:32,000 Speaker 1: I was doing this exercise. I can't remember what work 327 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:33,280 Speaker 1: book it was, and I think maybe it was in 328 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,160 Speaker 1: my Calling, in the one where I had to look 329 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:38,960 Speaker 1: in the mirror naked and like speak kindly over like 330 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,720 Speaker 1: my body parts and stuff. And so I was doing 331 00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:42,520 Speaker 1: that and I'm like, okay, look, I'm never gonna like 332 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:45,080 Speaker 1: look in the mirror and be like I love like 333 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:48,800 Speaker 1: I love my cellulite, or like I love my love handles, 334 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:51,960 Speaker 1: but like I don't look at them and and and 335 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,040 Speaker 1: hate them. Like I'm just like this is me. That 336 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:56,480 Speaker 1: makes sense. It's like I'm not gonna sit here and say, 337 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:58,800 Speaker 1: you know, I love this and I love that, but 338 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:02,240 Speaker 1: I love me and that's part of it. So now 339 00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:04,640 Speaker 1: I don't like hate those things anymore, like I don't 340 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,840 Speaker 1: want to change them. They just like it's part of me. 341 00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:09,840 Speaker 1: Yeah you're not like this is my favorite part about me, 342 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:13,320 Speaker 1: but also not like I need this, Yeah, just who 343 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:15,520 Speaker 1: I am. It's funny. There's a part of my book 344 00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:18,200 Speaker 1: where it talks about like how we as women, it's 345 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:20,639 Speaker 1: almost like we try to like separate our minds and 346 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,399 Speaker 1: our souls from our bodies. Like we almost try to 347 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:26,320 Speaker 1: move through life as like our body is like something 348 00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:28,919 Speaker 1: that's just along the journey and not like actually a 349 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:32,159 Speaker 1: part of us. And one of my friends recently experienced 350 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,480 Speaker 1: a loss, and she was just like talking about everything 351 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,000 Speaker 1: going on, and I was like, like, your body is 352 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,840 Speaker 1: like working with you, like you guys are one. You're 353 00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:43,240 Speaker 1: not opponents, your teammates. And I'm like, sometimes we forget that, 354 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,680 Speaker 1: like when we're looking at the things that are not 355 00:17:45,840 --> 00:17:48,520 Speaker 1: quite right, and so it's like it's just so fascinating. 356 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:51,080 Speaker 1: It's such a crazy thing. I asked people the other day, 357 00:17:51,160 --> 00:17:53,600 Speaker 1: like what was the age that you first became aware 358 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,960 Speaker 1: of your body, and it was like almost devastating. It 359 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,800 Speaker 1: was like six seven, eight years old, like when you 360 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:03,000 Speaker 1: start to realize like I have hairy legs or like 361 00:18:03,119 --> 00:18:05,119 Speaker 1: my body is different than other people. And I'm like, 362 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:08,200 Speaker 1: oh my gosh, it's probably even younger these days. Oh. 363 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:11,280 Speaker 1: I was Haley and I just had this conversation because 364 00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:14,919 Speaker 1: she goes, I was asking about my insecurities when I 365 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:19,240 Speaker 1: was younger, And to be honest, I was so confident 366 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:21,280 Speaker 1: when I was in like high school, you know, like 367 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:23,840 Speaker 1: I don't have any memories of like because I was 368 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:26,640 Speaker 1: an athlete, I had, you know, I I my parents 369 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,959 Speaker 1: never spoke about body, and you know, I just I 370 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,480 Speaker 1: was very confident in myself. And and I was telling 371 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:34,800 Speaker 1: her because she was like, you never had insecurities, And 372 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:36,320 Speaker 1: I was like, I'm sure I had things that I 373 00:18:36,359 --> 00:18:38,760 Speaker 1: probably talked about, but like I don't have anything where 374 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:41,920 Speaker 1: I deeply think about like hers during high school was 375 00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:44,760 Speaker 1: her being gay and being in the closet. But um 376 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:46,639 Speaker 1: I was. I was saying, like, once I went on 377 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:50,560 Speaker 1: the Bachelor, that's when my all my insecurities happened and 378 00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:53,600 Speaker 1: I had people critiquing things about myself that I had 379 00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:57,320 Speaker 1: never had thought about. And I was like, what a 380 00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:01,160 Speaker 1: horrible like shift that all of a sudden people's critiques 381 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,840 Speaker 1: of me like brought in something that I had never 382 00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:07,639 Speaker 1: even don't with it, you know, And I was saying, 383 00:19:08,040 --> 00:19:10,719 Speaker 1: thank god I didn't have social media when I was, 384 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:12,520 Speaker 1: I mean at my stay. So that was just about 385 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:16,399 Speaker 1: picking the right song, um, but I mean the things 386 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:19,080 Speaker 1: that the kids are seeing and what they're taking in 387 00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:21,719 Speaker 1: and about themselves and what they should look like is 388 00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:25,440 Speaker 1: it's it's devastating, but also like it kind of takes 389 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:30,320 Speaker 1: away from like life, you know. I feel we're talking 390 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,800 Speaker 1: earlier or maybe it was the last podcast, and I 391 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:35,120 Speaker 1: was saying how seven days a week I would work 392 00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:37,560 Speaker 1: out for an hour every single day. I wouldn't skip 393 00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:41,040 Speaker 1: a day, And I think that part of it is like, yes, 394 00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:44,399 Speaker 1: for me, getting exercise is very like very good for 395 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:47,560 Speaker 1: like my mental you know state. But there was this 396 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:49,840 Speaker 1: part of me that I think that I would I thought, 397 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:52,000 Speaker 1: if I stopped working out every day, I'm just gonna 398 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:55,320 Speaker 1: like gain a lot of weight because that was just 399 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:56,879 Speaker 1: used to that and I like to eat, you know, 400 00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:59,840 Speaker 1: like I mean, I like to eat, and so that 401 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:01,800 Speaker 1: was I think how my brain was. And so when 402 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:04,919 Speaker 1: I stopped working out on her right, like I think 403 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,480 Speaker 1: I went when I got my dog. I just didn't 404 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:07,960 Speaker 1: work out for like a month and a half and 405 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,080 Speaker 1: that's like the longest I've ever gone, and nothing happened 406 00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:12,879 Speaker 1: to me physically, and I was like, oh my gosh, 407 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:16,840 Speaker 1: like and it made me realize I not the working 408 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,119 Speaker 1: out part, but the the you know, I wouldn't go 409 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,440 Speaker 1: out to certain things because I didn't want to eat bad, 410 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:23,320 Speaker 1: or I would would not go out because I don't 411 00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:25,399 Speaker 1: want to be drunk or like drink a lot and 412 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:26,840 Speaker 1: then be hungover the next day and not go to 413 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:29,440 Speaker 1: my workout. And I'm like, that's not what I want 414 00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:32,080 Speaker 1: to live my life for, Like I want my working 415 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:35,800 Speaker 1: out to be for my well being and to like 416 00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:39,280 Speaker 1: stay healthy, but not to like miss out on life 417 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:41,680 Speaker 1: moments and stuff. And I feel I feel so sad 418 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,280 Speaker 1: when I look back on some things, some choices that 419 00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,280 Speaker 1: I made, because I'm like, I I missed out on 420 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:53,040 Speaker 1: living living and now is crazy though telling you about that. 421 00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:56,680 Speaker 1: I think that's so pure and so honest. And something 422 00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:58,680 Speaker 1: that I have been thinking about so much lately is 423 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:02,080 Speaker 1: like our culture is so obsessed with the what in 424 00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:05,320 Speaker 1: the house, so like Let's say somebody loses weight or 425 00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,720 Speaker 1: clears that their skin. Everyone's like, what did you do? 426 00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:11,840 Speaker 1: How did you do it? But nobody asks why. And 427 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:15,320 Speaker 1: for most people on their health journey or transformation journey, 428 00:21:15,359 --> 00:21:17,240 Speaker 1: it's not about the what and the how, it's about 429 00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:20,920 Speaker 1: the why. And like I realized like this year, like 430 00:21:21,119 --> 00:21:23,840 Speaker 1: I had my second baby and I had to launch 431 00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:26,480 Speaker 1: this book, and like I had these big dreams, and 432 00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:29,840 Speaker 1: my why for my health was so much stronger than 433 00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:32,560 Speaker 1: it has ever been. And all these people were asking 434 00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,399 Speaker 1: me like what are you doing, Like what's going on? 435 00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:37,040 Speaker 1: Like how are you how is your skin clearing it now? 436 00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:39,399 Speaker 1: And all these things, and I was like, nobody's asking 437 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:42,000 Speaker 1: me why, and the why is the only reason why 438 00:21:42,119 --> 00:21:44,359 Speaker 1: these things are actually happening. Like I want to be 439 00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:47,400 Speaker 1: vibrant for my book launch, I want to be present 440 00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:49,520 Speaker 1: as a mom. And it's just so interesting because it's 441 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:51,399 Speaker 1: like we live in this world of like before and 442 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:54,919 Speaker 1: after transformations, and no one's showing the middle. And I'm like, 443 00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:58,080 Speaker 1: more people would connect to the middle of your journey, 444 00:21:58,119 --> 00:22:01,399 Speaker 1: but everyone's like walking through life leaving there the before version, 445 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:03,760 Speaker 1: and they're like waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting to live their 446 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:05,920 Speaker 1: life until the after and it's like we're missing our 447 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,880 Speaker 1: freaking lives. It's just crazy. But like for your point, 448 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,760 Speaker 1: it's like, if you work out every day, that's great, 449 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:14,480 Speaker 1: but what's the why. And it's like your why was 450 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:18,320 Speaker 1: not right, it wasn't healthy, and so it's like so 451 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:21,199 Speaker 1: fascinating to me, like how we can reframe things. But 452 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:24,879 Speaker 1: I'm like we are asking the wrong questions to people 453 00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:26,879 Speaker 1: because I think we really want to get to the 454 00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:29,439 Speaker 1: heart of things. Like my dad was like, oh, you 455 00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:31,639 Speaker 1: look like really good, and I was like all I 456 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:34,879 Speaker 1: wanted to do was feel good, and like that changed 457 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,720 Speaker 1: everything for me, you know what I mean. So it's 458 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:54,800 Speaker 1: just really interesting to me. I have so much I 459 00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:56,720 Speaker 1: want to talk to you about. I'm like panicking about 460 00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:59,680 Speaker 1: like what my next question is gonna be. But um 461 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:04,280 Speaker 1: it's so you were very um open about your journey 462 00:23:04,320 --> 00:23:09,080 Speaker 1: of getting pregnant and and your miscarriages and and that 463 00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:14,440 Speaker 1: whole process of like the grieving and the expectation, and um, 464 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:17,679 Speaker 1: I just on our last podcast, Haley and I watched 465 00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:19,680 Speaker 1: her three year old niece over the weekend, like her 466 00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:22,639 Speaker 1: parents went to town and watched them. Oh my gosh. 467 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:26,879 Speaker 1: I was really questioning everything that I ever thought I 468 00:23:26,960 --> 00:23:33,399 Speaker 1: wanted in life. I as someone who went through this 469 00:23:33,520 --> 00:23:37,920 Speaker 1: process of like talking about your journey, Um, I'm so 470 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:43,640 Speaker 1: curious having children now, Like, and you traveled and did 471 00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:47,160 Speaker 1: so much before you had kids, do you ever I'm 472 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:51,239 Speaker 1: not gonna say long for the life. Yeah. We were 473 00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:53,960 Speaker 1: just saying how like sometimes in our society and people 474 00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:56,399 Speaker 1: are being a lot more honest now about it because 475 00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:59,680 Speaker 1: I think we've entered up as phase of like being 476 00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:04,200 Speaker 1: on a snopen is is more relatable. But people, um, 477 00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:07,160 Speaker 1: for a long time never talked about missing the old 478 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:11,639 Speaker 1: parts and I gosh, yeah, yeah, I'm just we So 479 00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:15,320 Speaker 1: here's the thing and here's I mean, this deserves no caveats. 480 00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:17,560 Speaker 1: I love being a mom. It is a massive part 481 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:19,600 Speaker 1: of my identity. I love my children more than anything. 482 00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:22,879 Speaker 1: But I sometimes look at people without children and I'm like, damn, 483 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:26,520 Speaker 1: I'm like, you can just sleep in What is that? 484 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,760 Speaker 1: Like you go, you go out and drinking. There's not 485 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:30,600 Speaker 1: something jumping in bed at five in the morning, And 486 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:33,360 Speaker 1: like there are pieces of that. And I will say 487 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:38,160 Speaker 1: that like for anyone listening, like if if you desire 488 00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:41,200 Speaker 1: children and if you're blessed to have them, like they 489 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:44,840 Speaker 1: will transform your world in eight million ways. But like 490 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:48,960 Speaker 1: the one consistent theme in motherhood is surrender, and the 491 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,560 Speaker 1: second one is changed every time I think we've got 492 00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:54,199 Speaker 1: it figured out. Something changes. Every time I think I 493 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,600 Speaker 1: have a plan, you've got a surrender to it. And 494 00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,600 Speaker 1: you know, for me, like I'm a super ambitious woman, 495 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:04,080 Speaker 1: like I don't want to, you know, just devote my 496 00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:05,840 Speaker 1: life to my children, and I want my children to 497 00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:08,240 Speaker 1: watch become fully alive. And I feel like it's a 498 00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:11,000 Speaker 1: form of child abuse in a sense of like dying 499 00:25:11,440 --> 00:25:14,000 Speaker 1: to raise your children, Like I want my girls to 500 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:17,120 Speaker 1: like see me pursue my dreams so that it invites 501 00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:19,399 Speaker 1: them to do the same. And I feel like women, 502 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:22,240 Speaker 1: especially these days, it's kind of like this martyr dum, 503 00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:25,840 Speaker 1: Like motherhood has become this like martyr story um for 504 00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:29,000 Speaker 1: a lot of women who do desire more, who have 505 00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:34,040 Speaker 1: chosen like so selflessly to stay home or to raise children, um, 506 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,800 Speaker 1: but also who have these deeper desires, like there's more 507 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:38,880 Speaker 1: than I want to do in my life. And I 508 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:41,560 Speaker 1: feel like it's been a really interesting journey for me 509 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:46,280 Speaker 1: because like my I genuinely like pumped the brake pedal 510 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:49,480 Speaker 1: when I finally got pregnant with Coco, because in our 511 00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,800 Speaker 1: story of loss, I had to like figure out like 512 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,760 Speaker 1: what kind of mom do I want to be and 513 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,719 Speaker 1: how do I want to move through motherhood? And I 514 00:25:57,760 --> 00:26:00,960 Speaker 1: feel like my losses were like my greatest teachers because 515 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,480 Speaker 1: I was not running a sustainable business. I was working 516 00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,960 Speaker 1: around the clock. I wasn't taking care of myself. Like 517 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,439 Speaker 1: there's so many warning lights in my life that I 518 00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:11,560 Speaker 1: was ignoring um And so I feel like my season 519 00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:14,119 Speaker 1: of waiting, like I did not waste it because I 520 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,480 Speaker 1: was working towards building a business, I could support the 521 00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:20,160 Speaker 1: type of mom that I wanted to be. And it's 522 00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:23,200 Speaker 1: really interesting because I'm super fortunate, Like I am so privileged. 523 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,640 Speaker 1: My husband is a stay at home dad, so like 524 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:29,280 Speaker 1: it's just like we are in it together. But it's 525 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:32,520 Speaker 1: it's different, you know, like when my book came out, 526 00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:34,800 Speaker 1: like I was on the Today Show and twenty minutes later, 527 00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:36,800 Speaker 1: I'm nursing a baby and like up in the middle 528 00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:38,840 Speaker 1: of the night, and like the parts of me where 529 00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:40,879 Speaker 1: I'm like, this would have been so much easier if 530 00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:44,320 Speaker 1: I came by myself, but it is so much richer 531 00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:49,679 Speaker 1: share of my family, and so I I absolutely My 532 00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:52,000 Speaker 1: sister is about to have a baby, and I'm like, girlfriend, 533 00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:54,640 Speaker 1: like stupid like doing all these things because all those 534 00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:57,560 Speaker 1: annoying things that people tell you you don't know what 535 00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:00,240 Speaker 1: you don't know. And I think that's the beauty of it. Um. 536 00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:04,600 Speaker 1: I like love being a mom because I learned so much, 537 00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:08,439 Speaker 1: Like I am constantly stretched and um, I feel like 538 00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:11,399 Speaker 1: I am challenged at a higher level of like what 539 00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:13,160 Speaker 1: do I want the future to be for these kids? 540 00:27:13,240 --> 00:27:16,879 Speaker 1: Because the world is a crazy place right now. Um, 541 00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:21,600 Speaker 1: And so yeah, it's really interesting but evil, and it's 542 00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:25,720 Speaker 1: the mental load of motherhood is something that nobody talks about. 543 00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:29,280 Speaker 1: And it's like, even when I'm like fully invested in 544 00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:31,600 Speaker 1: my work, I'm like, Okay, did they eat? Did somebody? 545 00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:33,960 Speaker 1: Are they napping? Do they need milk? Is everything okay? 546 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:37,920 Speaker 1: And like I never fully lose that part of it, 547 00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:40,000 Speaker 1: even when I'm like fully invested in my work. So 548 00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:41,840 Speaker 1: it feels like I'm just like happen all the time. 549 00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:44,399 Speaker 1: It's like we're expected to mother, like we don't have jobs, 550 00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,919 Speaker 1: and we're expected to work our jobs like we aren't mothers. 551 00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,480 Speaker 1: And I think that's the problem with society these days. 552 00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,680 Speaker 1: I love that I think that's really empowering because I 553 00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:56,600 Speaker 1: also think there's there's like once you commit to being 554 00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:59,480 Speaker 1: a mom, than the other parts of you disappear or 555 00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:03,280 Speaker 1: you know, like well, no, I had this conversation with 556 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:05,600 Speaker 1: a friend of mine the other day because she was saying, 557 00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:08,120 Speaker 1: and this is like so such like a superficial way 558 00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:11,520 Speaker 1: to look at it, but she was saying that, um, 559 00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:16,000 Speaker 1: her entire Instagram page was her kids, and she lost 560 00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:18,520 Speaker 1: like there's no identity, Like there's just you know, the 561 00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:21,600 Speaker 1: Instagram page and it's just the kids and there's not 562 00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:24,760 Speaker 1: that you lose your sense of self in a weird way, 563 00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:27,159 Speaker 1: like you there's I don't know, and then like you 564 00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:29,040 Speaker 1: kind of get to this point where you need to 565 00:28:29,119 --> 00:28:33,040 Speaker 1: still have an identity that's your own. Yes. I always 566 00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:36,359 Speaker 1: see like on Pelicon leaderboard when it's like Mason mommy 567 00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:38,640 Speaker 1: is like the user name, and I'm like, but who 568 00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:41,080 Speaker 1: were you before you were that? Like you know what 569 00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:43,400 Speaker 1: I mean? But I think too, it's like Drew and 570 00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:46,400 Speaker 1: I had this joke because like during COVID, we were 571 00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:49,720 Speaker 1: like driving and uh, we're talking about one of her friends, 572 00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:51,440 Speaker 1: and I was like, what do you she does like 573 00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:53,560 Speaker 1: outside of motherhood and work, and then I like had 574 00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:56,200 Speaker 1: this moment where like what do I do outside of 575 00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:58,480 Speaker 1: motherhood and work? And it was like this big challenge 576 00:28:58,480 --> 00:29:01,240 Speaker 1: of like who were you before all this, and like 577 00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,880 Speaker 1: who do you want to be? And something for me 578 00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:05,640 Speaker 1: that I think has been like so crucial And I 579 00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:08,800 Speaker 1: just want to encourage women, like if parenthood and motherhood 580 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:11,880 Speaker 1: is on your heart is like it is okay to 581 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:16,240 Speaker 1: hit the brake pedal in career in whatever that looks like, 582 00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:18,600 Speaker 1: as long as you trust yourself that you know where 583 00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:21,600 Speaker 1: the gas pedal is, like you can slow down. And 584 00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:25,000 Speaker 1: like I have absolutely slowed down over the last four years, 585 00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:27,640 Speaker 1: but I'm getting ready to like hit the gas pedal again. 586 00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:30,760 Speaker 1: Like I am loving my work again. I am desiring 587 00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:34,280 Speaker 1: to travel again. Like I have this like fire inside 588 00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:37,520 Speaker 1: of me that I think my book ignited where I'm like, Okay, 589 00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:40,440 Speaker 1: I have devoted the last four years to literally being 590 00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:42,880 Speaker 1: there every single night and every single morning, and like 591 00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:44,960 Speaker 1: now I'm ready to go again. And I know where 592 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:46,800 Speaker 1: the gas pedal is and i know how to press it, 593 00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:49,120 Speaker 1: and I've got the right support network in my life 594 00:29:49,120 --> 00:29:52,160 Speaker 1: to not feel guilt over that. And so it's just 595 00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:53,800 Speaker 1: this thing where I think a lot of women, it's 596 00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:56,000 Speaker 1: like you just put your whole life on hold, and 597 00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:59,000 Speaker 1: it's like, no, your life is beginning. It's gonna look different, 598 00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:01,320 Speaker 1: but like you and by your kids into your world, 599 00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:06,800 Speaker 1: don't let them become your world. And I also think 600 00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:09,880 Speaker 1: it's so huge, like acknowledging that you have a partner 601 00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:15,040 Speaker 1: who's so like a partner, not just like someone that 602 00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:19,640 Speaker 1: down to the single parents out there or the parents 603 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:25,680 Speaker 1: who are not involved. I bow down legitimately legit just 604 00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:29,000 Speaker 1: the tiny glimpse I got into it this weekend, Like 605 00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:32,160 Speaker 1: Haley and I were both like we were such a team, 606 00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:34,560 Speaker 1: like do we get to de side if you know, 607 00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:37,080 Speaker 1: we get to decide if if we want to do 608 00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:39,920 Speaker 1: that go in that direction. But it was nice that 609 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,280 Speaker 1: like it felt like if we did that, there was 610 00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:45,800 Speaker 1: that partnership because I think that's that's what gets so hard, 611 00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:50,440 Speaker 1: as like people have children and then they don't have 612 00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:52,560 Speaker 1: anyone around them helping out, and I don't think it's 613 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:55,120 Speaker 1: realistic for like one person to be able to take 614 00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:57,400 Speaker 1: that on. So I'm the same. I've kept thinking about 615 00:30:57,480 --> 00:31:00,280 Speaker 1: single moms who do this and my mom who had 616 00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:03,680 Speaker 1: five kids, all those stories of like people that are successful, 617 00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:05,480 Speaker 1: and they're like, my mom was a single mom of 618 00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:08,120 Speaker 1: four kids and like work three jobs, and I'm like, 619 00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:12,480 Speaker 1: that woman needs a Nobel Peace Prize. Like I don't 620 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,400 Speaker 1: know how that's even like do you know what I mean? 621 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:18,680 Speaker 1: It kind of like paints those stories because I'm like that, 622 00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:21,520 Speaker 1: I just yeah, I think, And honestly, it's a really 623 00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:24,720 Speaker 1: big reality, especially right now with the way the world is, 624 00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:27,680 Speaker 1: and it's like, man, so anyone listening that's in that situation, 625 00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:32,160 Speaker 1: we would give you a gold medal just to clarify 626 00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:33,840 Speaker 1: my my mom was not a single mom. I was 627 00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:35,680 Speaker 1: just saying that she had five pis and my dad 628 00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:38,840 Speaker 1: was super involved. But still I'm just like, wow, no, 629 00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:42,520 Speaker 1: it's nearly. It's so nearly. So it's also wild for 630 00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:45,080 Speaker 1: women to think about your maternal years though, too, because 631 00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:49,160 Speaker 1: it's like, if you think about started trying, we has 632 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:51,480 Speaker 1: in like how many years are you going to be 633 00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:54,960 Speaker 1: either pregnant, nursing or trying to get pregnant. It's like 634 00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:57,280 Speaker 1: a big stretch of your life. And I think people 635 00:31:57,280 --> 00:32:00,160 Speaker 1: don't think about that because so like we start did 636 00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:03,160 Speaker 1: trying to get pregnant and then I had one miscarriage, 637 00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:05,320 Speaker 1: then a full year later, another miscarriage, than a full 638 00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:08,280 Speaker 1: year later, another pregnancy. Then I had a baby that 639 00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:10,040 Speaker 1: I was breastfeeding for a year, Then I had one 640 00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:12,200 Speaker 1: year off, then I was pregnant again, then I'm breastfeeding 641 00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:14,880 Speaker 1: for a year. That's like seven years of my life 642 00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:18,880 Speaker 1: devoted to like not having my body be my own. 643 00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:21,920 Speaker 1: And I don't know if women think about the tiniest 644 00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:25,400 Speaker 1: face is telling she has also not thought about that, 645 00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:29,400 Speaker 1: but thinking about like your mom that go with five children, 646 00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:32,440 Speaker 1: even if you nurse for even just a few months, 647 00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:36,240 Speaker 1: that's like probably over a decade of her life was 648 00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:39,040 Speaker 1: being in those maternal years. Based on how you are 649 00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:43,840 Speaker 1: spread out, that's a lot of life, you know, because 650 00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:46,160 Speaker 1: how many years are between the oldest and youngest in 651 00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:50,040 Speaker 1: your family. So my sisters thirty five, my oldest sister 652 00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:54,400 Speaker 1: thirty five, then my youngest sister is twenty four, So 653 00:32:56,200 --> 00:33:01,120 Speaker 1: right there, it's eleven plus if she brush us and 654 00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:03,280 Speaker 1: like I think, then this went longer than a year, 655 00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:06,120 Speaker 1: that's like over thirteen years of her life when you 656 00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:08,920 Speaker 1: add on the first pregnancy and the last breastfeeding. So 657 00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:14,200 Speaker 1: when you think about that, it's kind of bananas. It's 658 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:18,440 Speaker 1: been crazy. Yeah, No, I've been keep asking me if 659 00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:20,920 Speaker 1: I want more, and I'm like, I love the three 660 00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:23,880 Speaker 1: year gap, but if I had three children, that would 661 00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:26,880 Speaker 1: be like six years of like being in limbo of 662 00:33:26,960 --> 00:33:30,280 Speaker 1: like pregnant breastfeeding waiting, pregnant breastfeed waiting. And I was like, 663 00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:34,520 Speaker 1: I can't, I can't. Yeah, You're like I got to 664 00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:37,200 Speaker 1: they have a sibling where it's just like it is 665 00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:39,640 Speaker 1: such an It's such an interesting way to think of it, 666 00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:43,160 Speaker 1: because like I've been thinking about freezing my eggs and 667 00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:46,560 Speaker 1: I'm like, I just the thought of those injections. I'm like, 668 00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:49,920 Speaker 1: I my body does not do well with hormones. So 669 00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:52,680 Speaker 1: the thought of having to inject those hormones into me 670 00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:54,800 Speaker 1: for a month, like I'm going to be a total 671 00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:58,280 Speaker 1: We'll take a break from the podcast. I'm saying, I'm 672 00:33:58,320 --> 00:34:00,160 Speaker 1: not have to do it, like when I'm not work game, 673 00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:05,000 Speaker 1: I can't imagine. Yeah, I can't. I'm on progesterone. Yeah, 674 00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:07,800 Speaker 1: And I was like, not myself, And it was like 675 00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:10,520 Speaker 1: what if we were you rumpier? Were you cranky? Are you? So? 676 00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:14,080 Speaker 1: So here's what was so weird. So it was so 677 00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:16,720 Speaker 1: with my third pregnancy, so we had the two losses, 678 00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:19,200 Speaker 1: we did all the hormone tests. I got pregnant with 679 00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:24,160 Speaker 1: my third pregnancy, which became Coco, and I was on progesterone, 680 00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:28,080 Speaker 1: and I was expecting to feel like elated that everything 681 00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:31,680 Speaker 1: was happening, and progesterone actually made me depressed. And I 682 00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:34,680 Speaker 1: had never been depressed in my entire life, and I 683 00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:39,360 Speaker 1: had I felt so gray, like I couldn't even describe it. 684 00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:41,719 Speaker 1: And what's so funny is that? Or not funny? But 685 00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:44,680 Speaker 1: Jillian Harris was pregnant with Leo at the same time, 686 00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:48,040 Speaker 1: and she had posted something about just like feeling so 687 00:34:48,360 --> 00:34:51,160 Speaker 1: gray and like nothing sounded good, she didn't feel like 688 00:34:51,600 --> 00:34:54,279 Speaker 1: and I remember that was like my lifeline because then 689 00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:56,640 Speaker 1: I was feeling that way and I was like, Okay, 690 00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:58,640 Speaker 1: this is gonna end. But like I would just sit 691 00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:00,360 Speaker 1: there and cry, and I'm like, I'm so supposed to 692 00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:02,800 Speaker 1: be so happy right now, and like I can't eat anything, 693 00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:05,440 Speaker 1: nothing sounds good, I don't feel like myself, Like it 694 00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:08,160 Speaker 1: was just really weird. And like I it was the hormones, 695 00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:10,479 Speaker 1: because the day after I stopped taking them, I felt 696 00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:13,080 Speaker 1: so much better again. And so it was just like 697 00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:15,640 Speaker 1: thinking about what women go through, just even on a 698 00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:20,400 Speaker 1: monthly basis with the periods is like bananas, but pregnancy, 699 00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:25,920 Speaker 1: holy crap, it's crazy for both of you. But I'm like, 700 00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:27,920 Speaker 1: literally I've been thinking about it and I was like, 701 00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:30,840 Speaker 1: I have to do it a month where I'm not 702 00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:33,920 Speaker 1: not working as much because I literally don't think I like, 703 00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:36,080 Speaker 1: you know, I need to show. Have you guys ever 704 00:35:36,200 --> 00:35:38,879 Speaker 1: planned your work around your periods? Have you ever heard 705 00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:40,960 Speaker 1: about how you can do that. I've planned every I 706 00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:43,200 Speaker 1: used to plant everything around my period. I don't. I'm like, 707 00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:46,719 Speaker 1: I will say, I'm really fortunate. My periods are very 708 00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:50,920 Speaker 1: like they're annoying. Like it's like and I get I 709 00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:54,280 Speaker 1: can tell like my irritability, but it's always pretty consistent. 710 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:57,759 Speaker 1: But I know Tanya like her cramps and stuff. I'm like, 711 00:35:57,840 --> 00:35:59,920 Speaker 1: I don't know, I would be so no, But it's 712 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:01,920 Speaker 1: not even that, Like it's the different phases of your 713 00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:05,240 Speaker 1: cycle and like like like tapping into like the benefits 714 00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:07,759 Speaker 1: of them, like your folicular phases. Like that is the 715 00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:09,920 Speaker 1: period of time where you're just like on it, like 716 00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:12,839 Speaker 1: you can really like get done. And so that's when 717 00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:18,320 Speaker 1: I try and schedule all your podcasts. I'm sorry I 718 00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:22,640 Speaker 1: can't show up in mopulating. Yeah, and like that opulation 719 00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:24,320 Speaker 1: period is when you feel your sexiest. So it's like 720 00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:26,000 Speaker 1: if you want to schedule if you have photo shoots 721 00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:29,960 Speaker 1: or whatever, like schedule it in that al right, right right, good? 722 00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:34,400 Speaker 1: I love it. I want to talk about your businesses 723 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:38,440 Speaker 1: because I think there's so many people who are probably 724 00:36:38,640 --> 00:36:41,960 Speaker 1: in a position that you were in at three said 725 00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:45,400 Speaker 1: when you were incorporate and probably just doing you know, 726 00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:48,320 Speaker 1: going through the motions in their five year plan like 727 00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:52,000 Speaker 1: they thought, but like itching for something more. Um So 728 00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:59,080 Speaker 1: I'm curious the mint, what's sorry, switching gears? What's your sign? Oh, 729 00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:03,239 Speaker 1: I'm an aries okay, like Hayley Scenaries, Um, I think 730 00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:05,000 Speaker 1: our birthdays are like a couple of days apart. I'm 731 00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:09,480 Speaker 1: April eight, she's April three, okay, right there. I feel like, um, 732 00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:12,360 Speaker 1: I'm just curious, like what was the process of because 733 00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:16,320 Speaker 1: that's that takes a lot of bravery and also I 734 00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:22,080 Speaker 1: mean just confidence to step into something totally new without 735 00:37:22,120 --> 00:37:25,279 Speaker 1: having any like background or experience in it. So I 736 00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:28,640 Speaker 1: just I'm just curious, like how you got from that 737 00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:33,160 Speaker 1: point who Jenna was in that world to having so 738 00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:35,960 Speaker 1: many businesses and wearing so many hats that you have 739 00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:39,919 Speaker 1: now yeah, So lately I've been thinking about like how 740 00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:42,400 Speaker 1: annoying it is when you see something that says like 741 00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:45,360 Speaker 1: pursue your passion, and like most of us are like, 742 00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:48,800 Speaker 1: what in my passion out? Again? Um? Because I especially 743 00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:51,200 Speaker 1: think the pandemic almost brought to light like a lot 744 00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:54,120 Speaker 1: of us just like live to work, and you know, 745 00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:57,360 Speaker 1: we don't work to live. And you know, for me, 746 00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:00,640 Speaker 1: it's been really this journey of like not always knowing 747 00:38:00,719 --> 00:38:03,400 Speaker 1: what I'm passionate about, but knowing what I no longer 748 00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:06,239 Speaker 1: want or what like I will not tolerate anymore. And 749 00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,560 Speaker 1: I don't say that from like a stuffy place like 750 00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:11,359 Speaker 1: I'm a Minnesota nice girl, but like when somebody handed 751 00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:13,200 Speaker 1: me a five year plan and was like talking about 752 00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:15,200 Speaker 1: a promotion, I was like, I don't even want that 753 00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:19,680 Speaker 1: promotion because I don't like this job. And for me nowadays, 754 00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:22,279 Speaker 1: I think we have like eight revenue streams um a 755 00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:26,239 Speaker 1: multimillion dollar company and I work from home with my 756 00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:29,400 Speaker 1: kids at home. It's kind of a show, but um, 757 00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:32,239 Speaker 1: but it's beautiful, Like this is what I wanted. And 758 00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:35,360 Speaker 1: for me, what I want people to know is like 759 00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:37,680 Speaker 1: so right now, and I'm sure you guys know this 760 00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:39,759 Speaker 1: but like in the economy, like there's this thing called 761 00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:43,400 Speaker 1: the Great Resignation where women are leaving the workforce in droves, 762 00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:46,520 Speaker 1: like more than ever before. Women are literally just like 763 00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:48,680 Speaker 1: putting their foot down and saying like, this doesn't work 764 00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:51,200 Speaker 1: for us anymore. And it's no wonder because we've talked 765 00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:54,280 Speaker 1: about it, like with motherhood and all these other responsibilities, 766 00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:56,360 Speaker 1: Like the way that we have the workforce set up 767 00:38:56,360 --> 00:38:58,560 Speaker 1: in the US is just not conducive to the lives 768 00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,680 Speaker 1: that women want. And so it's really fascinating because with 769 00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:04,800 Speaker 1: the Great Resignation happening and women leaving, I feel like 770 00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:08,160 Speaker 1: we're missing a really crucial key to that, and that 771 00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:11,200 Speaker 1: to me is that you want to if you want 772 00:39:11,239 --> 00:39:14,200 Speaker 1: to get out of something, you want to leverage that 773 00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:18,239 Speaker 1: thing to propel you forward. And what's happening is women 774 00:39:18,280 --> 00:39:20,760 Speaker 1: are like, if you want to get out of something, 775 00:39:21,520 --> 00:39:23,040 Speaker 1: a lot of women are just like handing in their 776 00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:24,920 Speaker 1: two weeks notice and they're like, I'll figure it out. 777 00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,600 Speaker 1: What I think we need to be doing is leveraging 778 00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:30,759 Speaker 1: that thing to propel us forward. What I mean by 779 00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:32,920 Speaker 1: that is that when I knew I didn't want that 780 00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:35,120 Speaker 1: job anymore, I didn't hand in my two weeks. Notice 781 00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:38,359 Speaker 1: I use my paychecks from that job to fund the dream. 782 00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:41,600 Speaker 1: Like everything I've ever done is started as a side hustle, 783 00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:44,480 Speaker 1: one for me to experiment enough to figure out do 784 00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:47,440 Speaker 1: I actually want to do this thing, but too to 785 00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:50,520 Speaker 1: have the safety and security to stay creative. Like I 786 00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:53,680 Speaker 1: think all of us are very creative humans, but we 787 00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:56,960 Speaker 1: have become so obsessed in our society with putting deadlines 788 00:39:57,120 --> 00:40:01,160 Speaker 1: and financial gain ahead of our creativity. And like for me, 789 00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:03,400 Speaker 1: like when I wrote my book, I knew that in 790 00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:05,640 Speaker 1: order to stay creative, I had to do it on 791 00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:07,919 Speaker 1: my own terms. And so I did the whole book 792 00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:12,120 Speaker 1: process backwards, because anytime a deadline or a paycheck gets involved, 793 00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:14,279 Speaker 1: my creativity gets squashed because I feel like I have 794 00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:17,640 Speaker 1: to you know, I owe somebody something in order to 795 00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:19,960 Speaker 1: collect the paychecks. So like for me, in that process, 796 00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:22,200 Speaker 1: it was like I want to write words that tell, 797 00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:24,440 Speaker 1: not words that sell. Like I want to write what 798 00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:26,960 Speaker 1: I want to write and hand it over and be like, 799 00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:31,040 Speaker 1: here's my story. And so when I left Target, I 800 00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:35,960 Speaker 1: had already worked you know, Target, plus building my business 801 00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:39,120 Speaker 1: on the side for a full year in order to 802 00:40:39,160 --> 00:40:41,239 Speaker 1: have the safety and security to say Okay, I'm gonna 803 00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:43,359 Speaker 1: make the leap. And part of that is because I'm 804 00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:45,480 Speaker 1: from the Midwest, like my parents are like, Okay, you're 805 00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:47,400 Speaker 1: leaving a salary in a four oh one k you 806 00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:50,360 Speaker 1: better have a good plan in place. And for me, 807 00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:53,120 Speaker 1: it was like I did think through every step of that. 808 00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:55,680 Speaker 1: And one of the things that was really helpful for 809 00:40:55,800 --> 00:40:58,280 Speaker 1: me is I was like, Okay, what is the worst 810 00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:00,919 Speaker 1: case scenario, Like, what is the worst thing that can happen? 811 00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:03,279 Speaker 1: And it was that my photography business would fail and 812 00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:06,000 Speaker 1: I'd have to go back into the job market. I 813 00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:08,560 Speaker 1: had a degree, I had experience. If that's the worst 814 00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:11,360 Speaker 1: thing that can happen, I'm gonna go for it, like 815 00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:13,360 Speaker 1: and so I think a lot of us are like 816 00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:16,360 Speaker 1: walking around with these fears and instead of just asking 817 00:41:16,440 --> 00:41:18,680 Speaker 1: ourselves like what would I do if that thing actually 818 00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:21,480 Speaker 1: happened and creating an action plan that we could rely on, 819 00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:24,000 Speaker 1: we're just not doing the thing in the first place 820 00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:26,719 Speaker 1: because the fear is too big. And so it's really 821 00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:28,839 Speaker 1: interesting because in my book, I kind of walked through 822 00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:32,080 Speaker 1: like I've lived eight hundred lifetimes in a career. I 823 00:41:32,440 --> 00:41:35,080 Speaker 1: had my photography business, I had a wedding blog, like 824 00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:38,080 Speaker 1: a Midwest wedding blog at a watercolor print shop, of 825 00:41:38,239 --> 00:41:41,239 Speaker 1: my podcast, I teach courses, I run airbnb s, like 826 00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:43,760 Speaker 1: I have all these different careers that I've done and tried, 827 00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:46,719 Speaker 1: and like I wrote a book now. And I think 828 00:41:46,840 --> 00:41:49,279 Speaker 1: that one of the things that people forget is that, 829 00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:52,560 Speaker 1: like every single thing that I've embarked into, it's been 830 00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:55,080 Speaker 1: a side hustle and my life hasn't been on the line. 831 00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:58,319 Speaker 1: I've always protected my safety and security with the thing 832 00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:01,040 Speaker 1: that is paying me so oh that I can preserve 833 00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:04,359 Speaker 1: that creativity to create what's next. And I think we're 834 00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:06,560 Speaker 1: just in this, like all in culture, where it's like 835 00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:08,759 Speaker 1: I don't like this, I'm gonna leave and then I'll 836 00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:11,680 Speaker 1: figure it out. And it's like we cannot be creative 837 00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:14,440 Speaker 1: and we cannot figure things out when we're literally not 838 00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:18,080 Speaker 1: feeling safe or protected. So I don't know, I just 839 00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:20,560 Speaker 1: I'm very passionate about this great resignation because I love 840 00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:23,200 Speaker 1: that women are putting their foot down, but I'm also like, 841 00:42:23,520 --> 00:42:26,760 Speaker 1: give yourself safety and security because we need those things 842 00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:29,160 Speaker 1: to really go after what it is that we want. 843 00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:48,640 Speaker 1: It's fascinating because that's so simple, like to think about, 844 00:42:48,719 --> 00:42:51,240 Speaker 1: like of course you need to have income to pursue 845 00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:56,239 Speaker 1: something that you don't have security in. But you're right, 846 00:42:56,360 --> 00:43:00,399 Speaker 1: like so many people immediately go, this isn't feeling. I'm 847 00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:03,640 Speaker 1: not getting there's no passion in this. I'm going and 848 00:43:03,719 --> 00:43:06,440 Speaker 1: here's my two weeks with like no backup plan or 849 00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:10,720 Speaker 1: no safety net. And I think that's like incredible advice 850 00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:14,759 Speaker 1: of like leveraging what you're what you have right now, 851 00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:18,800 Speaker 1: like what you know to be true, in pursuit of 852 00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:21,840 Speaker 1: what what fuels you. But something else A friend of 853 00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:23,279 Speaker 1: mine was talking to me about the other day that 854 00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:25,480 Speaker 1: really kind of struck me because I've been in a 855 00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:29,080 Speaker 1: little bit like I can really be super focused and 856 00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:32,400 Speaker 1: super driven and just goal oriented, and lately I've been 857 00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:36,480 Speaker 1: feeling not that. And I was talking to this girlfriend 858 00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:40,520 Speaker 1: of mine who she's an entrepreneur, businesswoman, and she was saying, 859 00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:42,480 Speaker 1: like she's like crushing it right now. She just bought 860 00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:44,600 Speaker 1: a store front. She's gonna like expand and do all 861 00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:46,920 Speaker 1: this stuff, and she's kind of going through it. And 862 00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:49,239 Speaker 1: I was like, I'm so proud of you and I'm 863 00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:51,000 Speaker 1: so happy for you, and I'm just kind of asking 864 00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:53,319 Speaker 1: your like when did you feel that shift and that change, 865 00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:58,680 Speaker 1: and she goes, I got super super clear about what 866 00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:01,799 Speaker 1: I wanted, what I wanted it to look like, how 867 00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:05,239 Speaker 1: I wanted it to look like, super super specific. And 868 00:44:05,320 --> 00:44:07,759 Speaker 1: she's like, once I got really specific about where I 869 00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:10,120 Speaker 1: wanted to go and what I wanted to do, everything 870 00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:13,200 Speaker 1: started kind of falling into place and everything became a 871 00:44:13,280 --> 00:44:15,080 Speaker 1: lot clearer. And I was like that, I think is 872 00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:17,640 Speaker 1: what's my biggest thing that's holding me back right now? 873 00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:20,759 Speaker 1: Is in so many different areas, Like B and I 874 00:44:20,760 --> 00:44:22,279 Speaker 1: would talk about the podcast, where do we see this 875 00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:25,879 Speaker 1: podcast in five years? Both of us can't really put 876 00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:28,239 Speaker 1: our finger on what that is and what it looks like. 877 00:44:28,400 --> 00:44:30,000 Speaker 1: And I think that's one of the big things that's 878 00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,000 Speaker 1: holding us back. And even in my relationship, like I'm like, 879 00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:34,640 Speaker 1: even earlier we're talking about having a kid, I'm like, 880 00:44:34,719 --> 00:44:36,680 Speaker 1: I think I want a kid, you know, and I'm 881 00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:40,160 Speaker 1: not I'm not being very clear and like pointed in 882 00:44:40,239 --> 00:44:42,279 Speaker 1: a certain direction. I feel like that's what's making me 883 00:44:42,400 --> 00:44:47,799 Speaker 1: feel so like, but but I think that that's like, uh, 884 00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:52,839 Speaker 1: I think you do know deep down, and I think 885 00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:55,120 Speaker 1: maybe you're just not getting quiet enough with yourselves right 886 00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:58,120 Speaker 1: Like in my life, the fear like creep in because 887 00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:01,040 Speaker 1: I think it's someone some ask me something today and 888 00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:03,279 Speaker 1: they were like, you know, I love what you say 889 00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:06,719 Speaker 1: about like boundaries. I'm a big boundaries person. How do 890 00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:09,640 Speaker 1: you know, Oh god, I love boundaries. Um. And she 891 00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:11,200 Speaker 1: was like, how do you know if you're like saying 892 00:45:11,239 --> 00:45:13,479 Speaker 1: no because your boundaries or you're just saying no because 893 00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:15,279 Speaker 1: you're like afraid of something. And I was like, you 894 00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:17,440 Speaker 1: already know, you know, let me tell you this really 895 00:45:17,520 --> 00:45:20,640 Speaker 1: quick story. So I had zero plans to write a book, 896 00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:23,880 Speaker 1: like zero, Like I've literally gone on the record on 897 00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:27,200 Speaker 1: my podcasting I will never write a book. And it 898 00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:30,480 Speaker 1: was August and it was my husband and I. It 899 00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:33,040 Speaker 1: was our ten year wedding anniversary and we were in 900 00:45:33,080 --> 00:45:36,239 Speaker 1: a town of people like literally two hours away from 901 00:45:36,239 --> 00:45:39,360 Speaker 1: the nearest target in northern northern northern Minnesota. And I 902 00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:42,960 Speaker 1: booked us these massages and I promised this is this 903 00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:45,840 Speaker 1: will take us full circle. And uh, this woman greeted 904 00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:47,160 Speaker 1: me at the door and she's like, Hi, my name 905 00:45:47,239 --> 00:45:49,239 Speaker 1: is Thea, I'm an intuitive healer and I'm gonna be 906 00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:51,239 Speaker 1: doing your massage today. And I was like, Okay, I 907 00:45:51,280 --> 00:45:52,520 Speaker 1: don't know what that means, but like, are you going 908 00:45:52,560 --> 00:45:55,000 Speaker 1: to read my mind the whole time. What's going on? Um? 909 00:45:55,239 --> 00:45:56,960 Speaker 1: And so she does my massage and at the end 910 00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:58,600 Speaker 1: of it, she goes, can I tell you what came 911 00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:00,680 Speaker 1: up for you today? And I was like, yeah, what 912 00:46:00,840 --> 00:46:02,680 Speaker 1: came up? Because I was like, I'm super open minded, 913 00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:04,840 Speaker 1: tell me anything. And she goes, this is all she 914 00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:06,000 Speaker 1: said to me. This is what I want to say 915 00:46:06,040 --> 00:46:09,200 Speaker 1: to YouTube. She said, there is something you need to 916 00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:12,080 Speaker 1: do and you already know what it is. And she 917 00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:13,200 Speaker 1: looks at me and she goes, do you know what 918 00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:16,359 Speaker 1: I'm talking about? And literally just her saying, there's something 919 00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:17,480 Speaker 1: you need to do and you know what it is. 920 00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:19,360 Speaker 1: It was writing a book, and like I had not 921 00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:21,239 Speaker 1: it was not on my goal list, it was not 922 00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:23,360 Speaker 1: on my like year annual goals, Like it wasn't on 923 00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:25,759 Speaker 1: my vision board. And like immediately she said that, and 924 00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:28,239 Speaker 1: I was like, it was writing a book and she's like, 925 00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:29,920 Speaker 1: all I need to do is go out and do it. 926 00:46:30,719 --> 00:46:33,000 Speaker 1: And like that night, I like open up a Google 927 00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:35,080 Speaker 1: doc and literally just started writing. And I was like, 928 00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:37,320 Speaker 1: I am Becka. I'm very much like you were, Like 929 00:46:37,440 --> 00:46:40,600 Speaker 1: I'm a naturally confident person, like I have a lot 930 00:46:40,640 --> 00:46:42,840 Speaker 1: of self belief in all these things, but like I 931 00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:45,359 Speaker 1: literally needed someone to remind me, like there were things 932 00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:47,320 Speaker 1: in my life that I wasn't doing. And She's like, 933 00:46:47,600 --> 00:46:49,360 Speaker 1: when I was massaging you, it was almost like you 934 00:46:49,440 --> 00:46:51,399 Speaker 1: were turning your hips away from the path you're meant 935 00:46:51,440 --> 00:46:53,640 Speaker 1: to be on, and like I just wanted to hold 936 00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:56,239 Speaker 1: your hips down and say stay the course. And it's 937 00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:58,760 Speaker 1: just so crazy because I'm like so many of us listening, 938 00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:01,240 Speaker 1: like there's something you need to do, and you already 939 00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:03,120 Speaker 1: know what it is, and you've known it, You've just 940 00:47:03,239 --> 00:47:06,000 Speaker 1: like buried it or you've ignored it, and so it 941 00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:08,479 Speaker 1: was just crazy how like all that was born. Because 942 00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:10,080 Speaker 1: it's like I think a lot of times we feel 943 00:47:10,120 --> 00:47:12,440 Speaker 1: like we don't know, but we do know, we just 944 00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:15,640 Speaker 1: either don't want to confront it or like it's scary 945 00:47:15,719 --> 00:47:17,239 Speaker 1: because it means we're going to actually have to do 946 00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:19,759 Speaker 1: something about it if we say what we want. You know, 947 00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:26,200 Speaker 1: I think that, Wow, I have chills because I have 948 00:47:26,239 --> 00:47:27,759 Speaker 1: a lot of thinking to do. I have a lot 949 00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:30,719 Speaker 1: of things to do, but I also have a lot 950 00:47:30,840 --> 00:47:35,760 Speaker 1: of like confronting what I am avoiding because of fear 951 00:47:36,160 --> 00:47:38,520 Speaker 1: because I think and I don't know if you can 952 00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:42,520 Speaker 1: relate to this gender because of the natural confidence that 953 00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:47,880 Speaker 1: I've always had. Doing something that doesn't feel safe and 954 00:47:48,120 --> 00:47:52,680 Speaker 1: potentially failing because of that makes me immediately like go 955 00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:55,800 Speaker 1: in the other direction, because I'm like, I don't know, 956 00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:58,640 Speaker 1: you know, like trying something new, like trying a new sport, 957 00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:01,320 Speaker 1: if I'm not immediately good at it, I'm like, I 958 00:48:01,400 --> 00:48:04,759 Speaker 1: don't like that sport, you know. And I think that's 959 00:48:04,760 --> 00:48:10,080 Speaker 1: how I am with like anything career minded, because I think, well, 960 00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:12,520 Speaker 1: if I if I leave something that's safe and I 961 00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:16,400 Speaker 1: try something that doesn't feel steady for me and I failed, 962 00:48:16,440 --> 00:48:18,040 Speaker 1: and that's going to be like a blow to my 963 00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:20,799 Speaker 1: ego and confidence instead of would you feel that way 964 00:48:20,840 --> 00:48:26,719 Speaker 1: if nobody saw it happen. Because here's the thing is 965 00:48:26,760 --> 00:48:29,600 Speaker 1: like social media is basically like a pure review journal 966 00:48:29,680 --> 00:48:31,879 Speaker 1: at this point, right, like we are like putting things 967 00:48:31,920 --> 00:48:34,279 Speaker 1: out like if you there's this part of my book, 968 00:48:34,360 --> 00:48:35,640 Speaker 1: let me see if I can find it really quick, 969 00:48:35,840 --> 00:48:38,400 Speaker 1: and it talks about how so when I ended up 970 00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:41,120 Speaker 1: writing this book, I did it without a deal, without anything. 971 00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:44,080 Speaker 1: I didn't even tell my mom um, and I just 972 00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:46,440 Speaker 1: wrote it and I wrote it just for me, And 973 00:48:46,680 --> 00:48:49,280 Speaker 1: the importance of that for me was like I wanted 974 00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:51,200 Speaker 1: to care about it even if no one else did. 975 00:48:51,600 --> 00:48:54,280 Speaker 1: And I think that, honestly, we're not that afraid of failing. 976 00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:56,760 Speaker 1: We're afraid of failing publicly, Like we're afraid of people 977 00:48:56,840 --> 00:48:59,200 Speaker 1: seeing us fail. And so it's like, what if we 978 00:48:59,440 --> 00:49:01,200 Speaker 1: let me just see. There's this part in it where 979 00:49:01,280 --> 00:49:03,399 Speaker 1: it talks about like how a lot of this work 980 00:49:03,560 --> 00:49:07,080 Speaker 1: was done in silence. Um, And I think that a 981 00:49:07,160 --> 00:49:09,880 Speaker 1: lot of times it's like we want to like show 982 00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:12,480 Speaker 1: our progress, or we want to like show what we're 983 00:49:12,560 --> 00:49:15,680 Speaker 1: doing so much so that like we missed the point 984 00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:18,200 Speaker 1: of like doing things just for the sake of doing them, 985 00:49:18,320 --> 00:49:20,880 Speaker 1: or trying things just for the sake of trying. And 986 00:49:21,160 --> 00:49:25,680 Speaker 1: I think that it's like so important. So it's like, um, here, 987 00:49:25,800 --> 00:49:28,239 Speaker 1: let's see everything that got you here. The good and 988 00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:30,879 Speaker 1: the h and the yikes propelled you all this way. 989 00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:33,440 Speaker 1: It all mattered, It all counted. In the words of 990 00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:36,560 Speaker 1: thea my massage therapist, we just did a lot of work, 991 00:49:37,000 --> 00:49:38,920 Speaker 1: and my goodness, look at how far you've come even 992 00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:42,239 Speaker 1: when you didn't think you could keep going. Your work, 993 00:49:42,360 --> 00:49:44,239 Speaker 1: just like my work in this book, will need to 994 00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:47,040 Speaker 1: be done in silence with no one watching. You'll need 995 00:49:47,080 --> 00:49:49,040 Speaker 1: to do it in your own way, in your own time. 996 00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:51,160 Speaker 1: You'll need to do it in a way that feels right, 997 00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:54,239 Speaker 1: not just looks right. I cannot promise to give your 998 00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:57,280 Speaker 1: body a rub down while simultaneously revealing the truth hidden 999 00:49:57,360 --> 00:49:59,360 Speaker 1: deep within you, or to send a mouse out to 1000 00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:01,480 Speaker 1: scare you into understanding what you've been that you've been 1001 00:50:01,520 --> 00:50:03,600 Speaker 1: avoiding the thing that you were put here on this 1002 00:50:03,760 --> 00:50:06,080 Speaker 1: earth to do. But if you've been searching for a sign, 1003 00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:08,560 Speaker 1: this just might be it. And I just feel like 1004 00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:11,440 Speaker 1: sometimes it is like what is work that like you 1005 00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:13,360 Speaker 1: want to do that you can literally do like in 1006 00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:15,359 Speaker 1: the privacy of your own heart, you know what I mean? 1007 00:50:15,520 --> 00:50:18,440 Speaker 1: Like that's the real work. I mean, it's even like 1008 00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:22,120 Speaker 1: you getting that engraved on your ring and not telling anybody. 1009 00:50:22,239 --> 00:50:26,120 Speaker 1: It's like not needing it to it just being yours 1010 00:50:26,320 --> 00:50:29,799 Speaker 1: and it being something that you could hold close. Yeah. 1011 00:50:29,960 --> 00:50:34,960 Speaker 1: Question just to bring it back to that your ring finger, 1012 00:50:35,280 --> 00:50:37,200 Speaker 1: Does that go to your heart? Do both of them 1013 00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:39,600 Speaker 1: go to your heart? Yes? They do. I think it's 1014 00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:41,600 Speaker 1: like the one vein that goes That's why you are 1015 00:50:41,640 --> 00:50:43,080 Speaker 1: your wedding rings on that. Yeah, So you could do 1016 00:50:43,160 --> 00:50:44,600 Speaker 1: it on your you could do it on this side, 1017 00:50:44,880 --> 00:50:47,960 Speaker 1: and I got mine from Majury and j U r I. 1018 00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:52,920 Speaker 1: They're sponsoring There we go. Maybe they'll sponsor you rings 1019 00:50:52,960 --> 00:50:55,759 Speaker 1: that you can engrave something in it for yourself. Yeah, 1020 00:50:56,480 --> 00:50:59,400 Speaker 1: there we go. I love that. I'm I'm just like 1021 00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:03,480 Speaker 1: I I've been inspired by you and after this conversation, 1022 00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:08,759 Speaker 1: I I'm just a huge fan and a friend and 1023 00:51:09,280 --> 00:51:13,200 Speaker 1: rooting for you. And I am literally about too well. 1024 00:51:13,239 --> 00:51:15,200 Speaker 1: I don't know if it's sold out my local target, 1025 00:51:15,239 --> 00:51:17,040 Speaker 1: but I'm about to go buy your book wherever. I 1026 00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:19,920 Speaker 1: need to buy it too, because I'm feeling like I 1027 00:51:20,040 --> 00:51:23,359 Speaker 1: need to, really, yeah, I need to. I'm like having 1028 00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:27,239 Speaker 1: these internal thoughts of just like asking myself some hard questions. Yeah, 1029 00:51:27,400 --> 00:51:29,319 Speaker 1: you know, the whole Like it was so funny because 1030 00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:32,040 Speaker 1: we didn't name the book until like the very final stages, 1031 00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:34,160 Speaker 1: and I kept describing it to people and I'm like, 1032 00:51:34,280 --> 00:51:36,560 Speaker 1: it's the difference of like when someone asks you like 1033 00:51:36,680 --> 00:51:38,800 Speaker 1: how are you, and you know they just want you 1034 00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:41,759 Speaker 1: to say like good bye, busy, and like when you're 1035 00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:44,120 Speaker 1: with somebody who truly loves you and hold space for 1036 00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:45,959 Speaker 1: you and they like lean in and they're like okay, 1037 00:51:46,040 --> 00:51:48,279 Speaker 1: but like cut the crap, how are you? Really like 1038 00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:50,719 Speaker 1: that is what it is. And and someone recently just 1039 00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:52,400 Speaker 1: messaged me the other day and they were like, I 1040 00:51:52,600 --> 00:51:55,600 Speaker 1: am like one chapter in and I'm hearing my voice again, 1041 00:51:55,760 --> 00:51:57,520 Speaker 1: and I was like, that is the goal, Like it 1042 00:51:57,680 --> 00:52:00,320 Speaker 1: is not. It is not a self help book. It 1043 00:52:00,440 --> 00:52:03,640 Speaker 1: is like coming back to yourself book. And I feel 1044 00:52:03,680 --> 00:52:07,560 Speaker 1: like in a world that's so obsessed with like personal development, 1045 00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:11,040 Speaker 1: it's like we've forgotten the person that's doing the developing. 1046 00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:13,360 Speaker 1: Like we are so obsessed with like here's how to 1047 00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:15,239 Speaker 1: get from there to here, and it's like maybe you 1048 00:52:15,320 --> 00:52:17,359 Speaker 1: haven't gotten to where you want to go because you're 1049 00:52:17,360 --> 00:52:21,080 Speaker 1: looking off of somebody else's map, you know, like maybe 1050 00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:24,840 Speaker 1: your compass isn't even aligned. So I'm like so excited 1051 00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:27,640 Speaker 1: about the book and you guys are really going to 1052 00:52:27,719 --> 00:52:29,080 Speaker 1: love it. Like I'm not just saying that, like you 1053 00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:32,240 Speaker 1: very much, will um. I believe that with every fiber 1054 00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:34,120 Speaker 1: of my being. And I can't wait to like talk 1055 00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:36,080 Speaker 1: to you. We need to do like a catch up 1056 00:52:36,200 --> 00:52:38,160 Speaker 1: in like yst a month. I want to see the 1057 00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:41,640 Speaker 1: rings on your fingers. I know what's going on, but 1058 00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:46,880 Speaker 1: I know I know you'll reveal it when you're ready. 1059 00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:49,560 Speaker 1: And I think when you reveal it, it'll be like, oh, yeah, 1060 00:52:49,640 --> 00:52:52,719 Speaker 1: of course this happened. Um. And the final thing I 1061 00:52:52,800 --> 00:52:56,040 Speaker 1: will say is that I feel like in a polarizing 1062 00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:58,759 Speaker 1: world that we're in, especially for like ambitious women like us, 1063 00:52:58,840 --> 00:53:01,759 Speaker 1: I feel like there are two camps and it's very 1064 00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:04,839 Speaker 1: much either like you hustle harder, you grind, you stay 1065 00:53:04,920 --> 00:53:07,680 Speaker 1: up late, you never log off, or you manifest your 1066 00:53:07,719 --> 00:53:10,160 Speaker 1: way to your dreams. And like my book and like 1067 00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:12,680 Speaker 1: my philosophy is like where the woo meets the work, 1068 00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:15,680 Speaker 1: like where you get the ring engraved, but you also 1069 00:53:15,760 --> 00:53:18,320 Speaker 1: put in the work to make that happen. And I 1070 00:53:18,400 --> 00:53:20,160 Speaker 1: think that a lot of women are like looking to 1071 00:53:20,239 --> 00:53:22,040 Speaker 1: live in that area of gray, but they feel like 1072 00:53:22,080 --> 00:53:23,719 Speaker 1: they have to choose a camp like either I just 1073 00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:26,600 Speaker 1: manifest more or a house of harder. And it's like, no, 1074 00:53:26,960 --> 00:53:29,359 Speaker 1: we are like really driven women these days, and we're 1075 00:53:29,400 --> 00:53:31,759 Speaker 1: so ambitious. So it's like if we get crystal clear 1076 00:53:31,800 --> 00:53:33,360 Speaker 1: on what it is that we want, we also have 1077 00:53:33,440 --> 00:53:35,440 Speaker 1: to be just as willing to like lace up the 1078 00:53:35,480 --> 00:53:38,279 Speaker 1: sneakers and like move towards it, even if it's in 1079 00:53:38,320 --> 00:53:41,360 Speaker 1: a way that isn't impressive to you know, the internet. 1080 00:53:41,440 --> 00:53:43,520 Speaker 1: And so I think that's like so exciting for me. 1081 00:53:44,960 --> 00:53:49,000 Speaker 1: You're incredible. Where where can people Okay, you have the podcast, 1082 00:53:49,120 --> 00:53:52,239 Speaker 1: they can listen to anywhere. You can listen to podcasts, yes, 1083 00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:56,200 Speaker 1: gold Digger podcast, go o a L not gold Digger. 1084 00:53:57,600 --> 00:53:59,680 Speaker 1: And then the book is called how are You Really? 1085 00:54:00,040 --> 00:54:02,440 Speaker 1: And you can get it literally anywhere books are sold, 1086 00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:05,279 Speaker 1: although Target is very sold out. And it's such a 1087 00:54:05,360 --> 00:54:07,720 Speaker 1: full circle thing. I'm like, I used to literally stock 1088 00:54:07,800 --> 00:54:09,839 Speaker 1: these shelves and now I have a book that's selling out. 1089 00:54:09,880 --> 00:54:13,120 Speaker 1: On him it's bananas um And you can find me 1090 00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:16,759 Speaker 1: at Jenna Kutcher everywhere else Instagram, Twitter, I'm very easy 1091 00:54:16,840 --> 00:54:19,719 Speaker 1: to find. So you're the best. I can't wait to 1092 00:54:21,320 --> 00:54:25,160 Speaker 1: everyone go follow Jenna, support her by the book, listen 1093 00:54:25,239 --> 00:54:29,239 Speaker 1: to the podcast, like right now on your rad We're 1094 00:54:29,280 --> 00:54:31,880 Speaker 1: in um. We love you, Thank you so much for 1095 00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:35,359 Speaker 1: taking time and just proud to know you and call 1096 00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:39,640 Speaker 1: you a friend. Deal. I love you, guys, And how 1097 00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:42,799 Speaker 1: do you scrub out? Is there a progress people scrub out? 1098 00:54:43,320 --> 00:54:45,879 Speaker 1: We have scrubbed out yet, but maybe you're our first 1099 00:54:45,920 --> 00:54:49,200 Speaker 1: scrubber outer. I mean I feel like we didn't go 1100 00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:54,520 Speaker 1: wash her hands or seriously, thank you so much. I 1101 00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:59,799 Speaker 1: love you guys, have a great night. Thank you bye. Wow. 1102 00:55:00,560 --> 00:55:06,320 Speaker 1: I got like emotional multiple times. I just go on 1103 00:55:06,560 --> 00:55:09,040 Speaker 1: little head hears of it. Well, I just I related 1104 00:55:09,120 --> 00:55:12,120 Speaker 1: so much to so much of it. Of like we do, 1105 00:55:12,400 --> 00:55:16,160 Speaker 1: I mean, especially in my career is based on what 1106 00:55:16,520 --> 00:55:20,000 Speaker 1: everyone else's like opinion of everything I'm doing right. But 1107 00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:22,320 Speaker 1: the thing that would really hit me was, like she said, 1108 00:55:22,960 --> 00:55:24,239 Speaker 1: is it the fear of failing or is it the 1109 00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:27,120 Speaker 1: fail of the fear of failing publicly? That's what I'm 1110 00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:30,040 Speaker 1: so true And I never I only know this life 1111 00:55:30,239 --> 00:55:34,480 Speaker 1: in my recent years, which is public. Yeah, you know. 1112 00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:37,960 Speaker 1: And I just think, I just I don't know. I 1113 00:55:38,440 --> 00:55:41,040 Speaker 1: I don't find her. I just love her because it's 1114 00:55:41,160 --> 00:55:46,640 Speaker 1: very real. It's not like woo woo like quotes. It's 1115 00:55:46,719 --> 00:55:49,000 Speaker 1: just like very much like this is what I did 1116 00:55:49,080 --> 00:55:50,440 Speaker 1: and how I did it and what it looked like. 1117 00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:53,160 Speaker 1: And she's been very honest about everything. I just I 1118 00:55:53,280 --> 00:55:56,840 Speaker 1: love her. So I'm really excited to read her book, 1119 00:55:57,640 --> 00:56:01,840 Speaker 1: and I think we're I think that's what we needed girl. 1120 00:56:01,960 --> 00:56:04,680 Speaker 1: Let me tell you we need I needed that. Let 1121 00:56:04,760 --> 00:56:09,279 Speaker 1: me tell you I needed that. I needed it too. Um. 1122 00:56:09,600 --> 00:56:13,880 Speaker 1: We love you all, We love you. Have a wonderful weekend, 1123 00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:17,880 Speaker 1: wonderful weekend. We'll be back Monday. We will be back Monday, 1124 00:56:18,600 --> 00:56:21,680 Speaker 1: and we love you, love you. Bye,