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Speaker 1: Welcome to Can't Believe, Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio,

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Speaker 1: and the Black Effect. Hey, what's going on everybody? So

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Speaker 1: today it's gonna be a little different. I have something

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Speaker 1: to talk about and I am going to vent. It's

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Speaker 1: going to be a rant. There is no story time.

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Speaker 1: The whole thing is me just getting this ship off

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Speaker 1: my chest because I'm a little upset. So I don't

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Speaker 1: know how many of you have seen on the blog

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Speaker 1: the Jazzmine brand, they did a story covering my upcoming

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Speaker 1: debut on Couple's Retreat. I'm going to be on a

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Speaker 1: show with my boyfriend. Yes, I have a boyfriend. Why

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Speaker 1: didn't you guys know? It's because it wasn't the right

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Speaker 1: time for you to know. Honestly, I didn't think that

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Speaker 1: the blogs will grab this ship this fast because the

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Speaker 1: show is not even supposed to air until Bruary twenty one,

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Speaker 1: which is a week after my birthday. So this gives

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Speaker 1: me and my boyfriend a lot of times to prepare

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Speaker 1: for our outing, right, So listen, I know exactly how

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Speaker 1: the internet can be toward people. I was into public

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Speaker 1: relationships prior to this one. Okay, I wanted to do

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Speaker 1: this one a little different. I like him. I like

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Speaker 1: him a lot, he likes me, and that's how the

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Speaker 1: funk We're gonna keep it. We're together, we're enjoying the

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Speaker 1: moment that we are in. We're moving forward, We're getting

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Speaker 1: to know each other better so this ship can last,

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Speaker 1: which I have a lot of optimistic hopes about. And

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say who it is, because if you

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Speaker 1: really care enough, you'll do your research. I said, the

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Speaker 1: blog is the jazz my brand. If you don't find

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Speaker 1: leave us the funk alone until y'all can't leave us

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Speaker 1: alone anymore. This is what I really want to vent about. Guys.

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Speaker 1: I have family, I have friends, I have associates. I

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Speaker 1: have some people that are closer than others who called

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Speaker 1: me and decided to fucking vent to me about something

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Speaker 1: that I could be doing for them instead of taking

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Speaker 1: my boyfriend of only a few months on TV. There

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Speaker 1: were certain conversations that I deemed necessary to talk about

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Speaker 1: in my episode because this is carefully reckless and if

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Speaker 1: I can be real with anyone, it is my motherfucking fans,

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Speaker 1: it is my listeners, it is my supporters, the people

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Speaker 1: who listen to me every day, the very people who

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Speaker 1: will judge me, but not directly to my fucking face.

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Speaker 1: And I appreciate that because I don't know you and

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Speaker 1: you don't know me. All you know is that you

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Speaker 1: love jess Hilarious. This is why I wake up and

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Speaker 1: do this ship every day. I'm talking about not even

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Speaker 1: just my podcast, my life, my fucking career. If I'm

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Speaker 1: not doing something for Ashton, I'm doing it for you, guys,

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Speaker 1: which is why I felt that I owed you guys.

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Speaker 1: Another side of me. All people know me for being

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Speaker 1: is je hilarious, very loud and oh clap back all

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Speaker 1: She's gonna scratch your ass if you say something about her.

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Speaker 1: Oh she's been canceled plenty of times. She just doesn't

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Speaker 1: give a fuck. She's a hood bitch. She's this, she's that,

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Speaker 1: she's radget but no one sees the other side. Now,

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Speaker 1: the other side is Jessica Moore. I'd love for people

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Speaker 1: to know who I really am. I do not saying

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Speaker 1: that Jessilarious is not me at all, but just Hilarious

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Speaker 1: is a character, right, Just Hilarious is young Jessica Moore

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Speaker 1: before I actually like grew up, very unapologetic, very insensitive. Right,

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Speaker 1: still have a good heart, always had a good heart.

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Speaker 1: Got that from my mama. But I am still a

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Speaker 1: feminine woman, very soft, very vulnerable. I love I like

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Speaker 1: I feel. Just because I don't show it to you

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Speaker 1: guys online does not mean I am not emotionally available

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Speaker 1: and I am. I know that I am. I'm a

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Speaker 1: cry baby. I love attention. I love to be spoiled.

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Speaker 1: I love all of that. Spoil me with your affection,

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Speaker 1: drown me and your fucking love, all that violent ship

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Speaker 1: that no one thinks that I am capable of feeling

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Speaker 1: or even liking, because all you see is what I

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Speaker 1: show you, and I haven't shown you that side. That's

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Speaker 1: where you'll get to see in this show. Back to

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Speaker 1: my ranting, I hate the fact that there are some

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Speaker 1: people in my life that just feel so fucking entitled

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Speaker 1: that they have to blame me for everything that's not

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Speaker 1: going right in their lives. And I won't say any names.

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Speaker 1: I won't go as far as saying any names, because

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Speaker 1: these people ultimately will know who they are if they

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Speaker 1: even listen to my podcast, and you know, a couple

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Speaker 1: of them don't. But I can count on you, guys

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Speaker 1: to pass the word and the world will get around

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Speaker 1: and the world will get around, and this person will

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Speaker 1: tell this person and then they'll have no other choice

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Speaker 1: but to come. Listen. How can you call yourself my

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Speaker 1: friend and you say shipped to me? Like I've set

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Speaker 1: back and I've watched you create jobs and create wealth

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Speaker 1: for other people, and I've just been sitting here and

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Speaker 1: you don't even I have a clothing line. I want

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Speaker 1: to get off the ground. And and why why do

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Speaker 1: I have to sit here and struggle with like you

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Speaker 1: leaving me here in the pits? What the funk are

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Speaker 1: we talking about here? You're a grown ass man, you're

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Speaker 1: a grown ass woman. Get the funk up off your

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Speaker 1: ass and go start from the fucking bottom like me,

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Speaker 1: Start from the fucking bottom. Go and do that. No

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Speaker 1: one even fucking knows you. Well, how the fuck am

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Speaker 1: I going to give you fame? How? This is why

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Speaker 1: you guys don't see me with a lot of fucking people.

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Speaker 1: And the people that you do see me with, or

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Speaker 1: you have seen me with, I slowly but surely weed

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Speaker 1: them the funk out, and then you may see me

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Speaker 1: with a person you've never seen me with before. Why?

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Speaker 1: Because everybody needs friends, everybody needs friends. It's up to

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Speaker 1: you to choose the ones that you need or to

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Speaker 1: keep around, the ones that you keep sucking attracting. But

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Speaker 1: everybody needs friends, everybody needs a certain energy to match theirs.

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Speaker 1: You know, it's all about your mood, It's all about

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Speaker 1: your personality. It's all about even take. You're not supposed

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Speaker 1: to just keep giving and giving and giving and giving,

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Speaker 1: and the other person is taking and taking and taking,

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Speaker 1: and then you look up and you're like, damn, well,

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Speaker 1: what the funk do you do for me? Other than

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Speaker 1: come around with your eluding, fucking presence? What do you

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Speaker 1: do for me? That's what I have to ask myself.

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Speaker 1: I got so many calls and fucking text messages hating

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Speaker 1: on the fact that I decided to take my new

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Speaker 1: boyfriend on a v H one show. You've only fucking

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Speaker 1: known him for a couple of months. You've only and

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Speaker 1: I haven't only known him for a couple of months.

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Speaker 1: We're both from Baltimore City. I've known this guy for

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Speaker 1: at least five plus years. Actually, his little brother was

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Speaker 1: one of my good friends, and I didn't even know

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Speaker 1: that that was his brother. Listen, that's so craziest, It's

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Speaker 1: so funny, y'all. Hear about that on the show. But

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Speaker 1: anyway back to my ship? How can you feel so

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Speaker 1: fucking entitled to tell me any of this ship? I

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Speaker 1: got old guys that I used to talk to. Never

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Speaker 1: mind you, none of these guys were even my boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: But you know everybody has somebody that they talked to

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Speaker 1: a talk to situations. Damn, I wasn't good enough. How

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Speaker 1: you gonna take yo on TV? I wasn't good enough.

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Speaker 1: You don't even understand the ship that is coming out

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Speaker 1: of your fucking mouth. The ship that is coming out

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Speaker 1: of your mouth is saying, Jess, you're supposed to be

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Speaker 1: my come up. Y'all don't even know that ship is

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Speaker 1: seeping through your voice. That's even louder than the actual

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Speaker 1: words that you're saying. Jess, you're supposed to put me

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Speaker 1: on Jess, You're supposed to be my come up so

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Speaker 1: I can use you up and then abuse you and

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Speaker 1: then fucking leave you. You're supposed to be my come up.

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Speaker 1: There's a fucking reason why I ain't fucking with either

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Speaker 1: one of your niggas no more. I even have a

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Speaker 1: friend that hits me about the new friend that I've

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Speaker 1: been around. If you have been paying attention to me

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Speaker 1: and then you will see I have a new friend.

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Speaker 1: This girl's energy is prophetic. I love it. It's her

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Speaker 1: fucking energy. She does something for me as well. No

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Speaker 1: fucking homo, because I know everybody's mind is gonna go

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Speaker 1: straight to the God. I'm not gay. I have a boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: Uh but no, her energy is fucking needed. It's necessary.

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Speaker 1: All I've been fucking surrounded by here and there are

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Speaker 1: fucking leeching devils. Seriously, I'm so fucking sick of it.

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Speaker 1: And I hate to say it, but I fucking hate people.

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Speaker 1: I do, and that ship feels so good when I

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Speaker 1: say it. Maybe that's toxicity in its own right, but

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Speaker 1: I fucking hate people. Why Because the same exact people

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Speaker 1: who tell you, oh, I love you, Oh I'm always

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Speaker 1: there for you. Oh I I've been here since day one,

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Speaker 1: have fucking betrayed me, and I let you back in

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Speaker 1: my fucking life. Let's not sit here and act like

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Speaker 1: you're fucking married the saint and you haven't done anything

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Speaker 1: to make me question why the funk I'm even still

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Speaker 1: around you? Are you serious? Fuck you? I can't stand

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Speaker 1: people now. Let's kick it over to a brief break.

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Speaker 1: All I do is put the fucking people that are

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Speaker 1: closest to me on all of my YouTube shows that

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Speaker 1: do the co parents and therapy with my son's dad.

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Speaker 1: Who the funk is he? But I'm trying to put

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Speaker 1: them on, right, come on, I have gas on my

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Speaker 1: fucking podcast, so you people know who these people are

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Speaker 1: in my life. My sister, my best friend, my brother,

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Speaker 1: my other friend. I put people the funk on, But no,

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Speaker 1: there are levels. There are levels to certain ships that

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Speaker 1: I see. Maybe the podcast is not big enough for them.

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Speaker 1: Oh maybe them going on my YouTube one of my

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Speaker 1: YouTube series is not good enough for them. And then

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Speaker 1: not to mention, I'm still making it my goddamn self.

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Speaker 1: I still have dreams and things that I want to

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Speaker 1: do just by myself on my own v H one

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Speaker 1: Couples Retreat was a great opportunity more than me just

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Speaker 1: going on there with my boyfriend. Like I said, I

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Speaker 1: wanted to open up my audience to a different side

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Speaker 1: of me. I'm kind of doing it right now, and

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Speaker 1: I kind of don't want to do it. I kind

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Speaker 1: of want to fucking just continue to be fucking ratchet

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Speaker 1: because that's when I get through to everybody. That's when

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Speaker 1: everybody is scared to say ship like that to me

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Speaker 1: when I'm at my mo scratch at this fucking point.

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Speaker 1: But I show a little bit of softness and all

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Speaker 1: that ship, and then everybody's like, well, damn, I've been

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Speaker 1: here since day one. What the funk makes him so great?

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Speaker 1: You don't even understand the way that you look at me.

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Speaker 1: I see it. I see it clearer. I'm gonna come

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Speaker 1: up to a lot of the people that are close

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Speaker 1: to me, even when we go out to fucking eat,

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Speaker 1: or everybody's just looking looking at me to pay the bill,

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Speaker 1: No bitch, if it's fucking six of us and the

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Speaker 1: bill of six hundred dollars, cough up a hundred dollars

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Speaker 1: every fucking body, or I'm gonna start being like, oh

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Speaker 1: I'm broke, or maybe I won't come to funk out

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Speaker 1: no more. That's just it. I'm so sick of that ship.

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Speaker 1: I am a regular human being. I'm not obligated to

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Speaker 1: make anyone famous. I'm not obligated to take anyone with me.

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Speaker 1: I actually tried to do that several times, and I've

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Speaker 1: got stepped in the back so many fucking times. So

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Speaker 1: when y'all text me and send me d M S

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Speaker 1: and be like, why him and why not me? And

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Speaker 1: all that ship? Think about how many times you've crossed me.

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Speaker 1: Think about the ship that I did do for you.

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Speaker 1: Don't fucking forget think about how many times I've taken

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Speaker 1: you back into my life. Friend X, whatever, family member,

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Speaker 1: whoever I'm talking to fucking everyone. I have two friends

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Speaker 1: right now who can't even be in the same fucking

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Speaker 1: room together for too long because one is so fucking

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Speaker 1: territorial that they don't like when I'm with the other one. Envy, jealousy,

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Speaker 1: intimidation for what then I feel like I spread myself

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Speaker 1: then trying not to put these two together. It's like, yo,

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Speaker 1: I love the energy you bring me. I love hanging

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Speaker 1: around you, but I can't have you two together because

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Speaker 1: then I'm a fucking referee. I know you don't like

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Speaker 1: this person. I know you don't like this person, But

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Speaker 1: what the funk am I to do? Right? It puts

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Speaker 1: me in a fund up place? So what do I do?

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Speaker 1: I did that ship. I go get a new friend.

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Speaker 1: And that may sound very, very fucking cold. I don't

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Speaker 1: give a fuck. You gotta start doing what you have

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Speaker 1: to do for you, because once you stop trying to

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Speaker 1: live for everybody else. You free yourself of all the

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Speaker 1: standards that people put on you. Like, what the fuck?

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Speaker 1: Why did I even feel bad for a split second.

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Speaker 1: One of my friends called me last night and was like, damn,

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Speaker 1: you told me that I was gonna be in one

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Speaker 1: of your shows. And then I look up and you

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Speaker 1: take your fucking boyfriends, even your real boyfriend, on TV.

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Speaker 1: What are you doing? How come we didn't even know

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Speaker 1: you had a boyfriend, You didn't even post them, but

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Speaker 1: you went on the show with them. I felt bad

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Speaker 1: for a second, and then I was like, wait a minute,

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Speaker 1: fuck you, fuck you for real, because I don't give

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Speaker 1: a fuck what you think. I don't care how you feel.

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Speaker 1: I need you to understand something about me. I've cared

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Speaker 1: so long about how others look at me, and and

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Speaker 1: this is news to y'all too, because I know I

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Speaker 1: seem so very unapologetic, and for the most part, I am.

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Speaker 1: But when it's people closest to me, they know how

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Speaker 1: to get under your skin. You may get online and

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Speaker 1: you may post a picture and realize that all your

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Speaker 1: bad comments come from people you don't know, and you're like,

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Speaker 1: fuck them. But when it comes from the people that

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Speaker 1: do know you. It's even more fucked up that you

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Speaker 1: can say that shit about me or to me. You know,

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Speaker 1: it's entitlement. I can't stand it. I don't owe anyone ship.

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Speaker 1: I don't. My boyfriend didn't ask me to take him

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Speaker 1: on a show. My boyfriend actually said no a trillion

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Speaker 1: fucking times, a billion fucking times, and I had to

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Speaker 1: tell him, listen, I want to help you grow your

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Speaker 1: fucking brand, because you actually have one, unlike so many

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Speaker 1: people that I try to put on who don't have

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Speaker 1: any fucking thing going on. But I always want to

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Speaker 1: have the most to say. He said no, He said no.

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Speaker 1: He was like, no, no, no no, no, no, that's your thing.

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Speaker 1: You're the actress, your celebrity, rather not I don't want

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Speaker 1: to just I've not been on camera. I'm a really

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Speaker 1: really popular person, but I've not been on camera, and

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Speaker 1: that is not for me. It took me days and

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Speaker 1: days of fucking convincing. We weren't even about to do

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Speaker 1: it because he was taking so long to see the

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Speaker 1: vision that I had for him. Once he said yes,

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Speaker 1: once he checked with his child, he talked it over

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Speaker 1: with his male best friend, his female best friend to

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Speaker 1: get two different perspectives. Once he really, really really felt comfortable,

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Speaker 1: which he still did not, he told me yes, and

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Speaker 1: that was that. I'm like, I'll coach you. I got you.

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Speaker 1: I want you to trust me. I'm not gonna have

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Speaker 1: you looking bad. I'm not gonna add to you looking

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Speaker 1: bad because listen, when this ship comes out, there are

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Speaker 1: gonna be people who hate you. There are gonna be

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Speaker 1: people who will judge you. There are gonna be people

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Speaker 1: that don't even know you that will look at you

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Speaker 1: and say anything they want to say. And that's fine.

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Speaker 1: That's what you gotta be prepared for, because I'm prepared

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Speaker 1: for it. There are so many things that I know

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Speaker 1: people are gonna say. I don't give a fuck. So

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Speaker 1: I convinced him to do it, and he did it.

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Speaker 1: He did it for me, and then by the end

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Speaker 1: he know he had did it for himself because it

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Speaker 1: helped him in so many fucking ways. You'll fucking see.

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Speaker 1: For the record, I love helping people who don't ask

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Speaker 1: for the fucking all the time. I love helping people

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Speaker 1: who I feel like will be better off after I

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Speaker 1: help them. I like helping people who can benefit me

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Speaker 1: as well. Like my trainer, she's my friend. I always

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Speaker 1: knew I wanted to fucking eat better. I just didn't

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Speaker 1: have the discipline. I didn't And I knew I wanted

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Speaker 1: to be vegan. I knew that that. I know that's

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Speaker 1: like a good thing, a better way of eating eating habits.

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Speaker 1: You know, it prevents diabetes, it prevents all these fucking generational,

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Speaker 1: fucking curses of eating habits and ship. I know that

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Speaker 1: I'd love to live a million more years being vegan.

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Speaker 1: It was just that when I was with Wayne and

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Speaker 1: he introduced me to vegan food, that ship was disgusting.

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Speaker 1: Then I met my trainer, her and her whole family cooks.

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Speaker 1: They're like a fucking vegan five star restaurant by themselves.

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Speaker 1: That's when I realized. I'm like, oh, so all vegan

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Speaker 1: ship isn't nasty. Okay, so now I can eat this ship. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you just have to find what's good for you. I

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Speaker 1: love to work out. I have a fitness brand. She's

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Speaker 1: a trainer. You see where I'm going with this. It's

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Speaker 1: an exchange of not only energy, but business as well.

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Speaker 1: We're creating content. She's a professional fucking trainer. I'm not.

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Speaker 1: I used to do videos just playing around, not even

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Speaker 1: really working out, and I will work out after, but

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Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, no, why not record the real

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Speaker 1: workout with an actual vegan trainer who's also helping me

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Speaker 1: change my diet, who's helping me meal prep, who's helping

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Speaker 1: me with fucking energy. Anyway, because I'm a woman and

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Speaker 1: she's a woman, it makes sense. These other people I

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Speaker 1: want to be around. If I can elevate you and

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Speaker 1: you can elevate me, this is great. If we can

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Speaker 1: help each other elevates. These are the people that I

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Speaker 1: want to be around. The people who will not use me,

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Speaker 1: the people who are not looking at me when the

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Speaker 1: fucking bill comes out. No, the people who are not

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Speaker 1: constantly asking me why are you hanging with? These people

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Speaker 1: hang with me? I hate that. I hate it. I

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Speaker 1: have a really really close friend and you know who

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Speaker 1: you are, bitch. You asked me you're always with them? Now, like,

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Speaker 1: where are you hanging with them? And you have a

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Speaker 1: mill jillion fucking friends, Bitch, I don't care. I hang

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Speaker 1: with who socially satisfied me. That's what it is. And

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Speaker 1: you'll gotta understand in the line of work that I'm in,

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Speaker 1: the ship that I do. It's so easy to attract,

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Speaker 1: evil people, people who will leach off of you. So

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Speaker 1: understand when I recognize an energy and I like it

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Speaker 1: and it's great. I hold onto that ship because that

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Speaker 1: ship is hard to come by. And just like that,

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Speaker 1: we have come to the end of the episode. I

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Speaker 1: love you, guys. Keep loving on me, because trust me,

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Speaker 1: I do need it. Keep loving me, keep loving me

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Speaker 1: for who the funk I am, And on February two,

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Speaker 1: you will see the other side of who I am.

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Speaker 1: And just like that, we are done. Peace carefully. Reckless

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Speaker 1: is a production of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect.

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Speaker 1: For more podcasts from I Heart Radio, visit the I

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Speaker 1: heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to

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Speaker 1: your favorite shows.