1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:05,680 Speaker 1: Hey, CUTI misconnections. That was me staring. There's only two 2 00:00:05,720 --> 00:00:08,399 Speaker 1: places to find true love in this world. One is 3 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:11,760 Speaker 1: at the grocery store in the adult diaper ale while 4 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:18,080 Speaker 1: comparing absorbency ratings like a trained diaper somalier in a 5 00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:22,520 Speaker 1: four point five acidity. That's spicy enough for this undercarriage. 6 00:00:23,079 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 1: The other place is a naughty little website called craigslist 7 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:31,440 Speaker 1: dot org, a place where real lovers go to post 8 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:36,960 Speaker 1: their sexiest misconnections, like this one titled will you bree 9 00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:42,319 Speaker 1: Mine nay Man for woman? Forty one creamery Tour. That's 10 00:00:42,320 --> 00:00:45,040 Speaker 1: where I started with a cheese pud. He says hello 11 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:47,800 Speaker 1: to the mystery lady I met on the cheese factory 12 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:51,440 Speaker 1: tour last Saturday. I don't even know your name, but 13 00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:54,640 Speaker 1: from the moment you smiled at me with that milk mustache, 14 00:00:55,200 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 1: I knew we could be a Gouda match. Nice to me. 15 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:05,760 Speaker 1: Here we go. I was the jolly fella wearing the 16 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:10,200 Speaker 1: Holy Moley Swiss cheese t shirt. Hey, you probably thought 17 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:12,479 Speaker 1: I bought that at the gift shop, but I didn't. 18 00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:15,360 Speaker 1: You have a collection, brought it from home, had it 19 00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 1: for years. Yeah, that's a proud og cheese fan. Anyway, 20 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:22,520 Speaker 1: you were by yourself, and I normally don't see a 21 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:26,080 Speaker 1: lot of single people on these cheese tours, so maybe 22 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:31,120 Speaker 1: we're cut from the same cloth. Parentheses cheese. Yeah, I 23 00:01:31,120 --> 00:01:32,880 Speaker 1: don't think he had to do the parentheses, my man, 24 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:36,640 Speaker 1: he says. Okay, I'll stop with the puns. Lolol Willie. 25 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:39,640 Speaker 1: We did have an awkward moment after our guide left 26 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:42,800 Speaker 1: the room where you spied me putting extra samples into 27 00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:45,600 Speaker 1: my fanny pack. Hey, hey, I think that's a good movie. 28 00:01:45,959 --> 00:01:48,480 Speaker 1: Come on, don't worry. I'm not a klepto. I just 29 00:01:48,520 --> 00:01:51,520 Speaker 1: get freebies from all the food factories in the area 30 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:54,840 Speaker 1: so I can save my grocery money for dates with you. 31 00:01:56,120 --> 00:02:02,559 Speaker 1: That's brilliant. The cheese factory. That's a cracker factory. Romantic, 32 00:02:03,200 --> 00:02:05,240 Speaker 1: he keeps going. In fact, I would have asked you 33 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:07,840 Speaker 1: out that day, but we got separated by a herd 34 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:10,560 Speaker 1: of sixth graders who thought they were in the milkshake room. 35 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:15,360 Speaker 1: So this is my message to say, you were the 36 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:19,880 Speaker 1: highlight of my day, even over the manchego we tried, 37 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:25,440 Speaker 1: and that's saying something because that was great cheese. Let's 38 00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:28,960 Speaker 1: tour together next time. If you see this that's signed 39 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:34,799 Speaker 1: hank parentheses stop swinging in twenty twenty three. Oh, it's 40 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,200 Speaker 1: like a new challenge for him. He needs to disclose 41 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:47,760 Speaker 1: monogamous Now, yes, he's a man. Let's go to your 42 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:53,440 Speaker 1: next Craigslist misconnection titled you called it a Sporknado woman 43 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:57,360 Speaker 1: for man thirty five End of the World meeting. Oh 44 00:02:57,440 --> 00:03:02,440 Speaker 1: my gosh, she says, you were the tall, rugged ish 45 00:03:02,520 --> 00:03:07,959 Speaker 1: man in the flannel and hiking boots rugged in don't 46 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:09,840 Speaker 1: give me a complix, dude. But it's the end of 47 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 1: the end of the World meeting, so okay, you know 48 00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:14,920 Speaker 1: it makes a little more sense. Who sat next to 49 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:18,480 Speaker 1: me during the seventy two hour emergency kit seminar at 50 00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:23,840 Speaker 1: ARII last semurday seventy seminar. No, the emergency is seventy 51 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:25,840 Speaker 1: two hours. Like to make sure you are prepared for 52 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 1: seventy two hours. What to do within seventy seventy two 53 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:32,120 Speaker 1: hours after the world ends is the most crucial Now 54 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:36,840 Speaker 1: I get it, I need this seminar. Apparently, she says 55 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:39,240 Speaker 1: you made a joke about how if things got really 56 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:42,400 Speaker 1: bad you just survive off of protein bars and regret. 57 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 1: That's pretty funny, I laughed. So hard I choked on 58 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:50,960 Speaker 1: my complimentary freeze dried banana chips. Oh no, you offered 59 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:55,720 Speaker 1: me your collapsible water bottle and said it's been sterilized recently. 60 00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:59,920 Speaker 1: That was a promise. That was the moment I knew 61 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:03,040 Speaker 1: I drink puddle water if you told me it was safe. 62 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:06,400 Speaker 1: Before I could ask your name or offer you a 63 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:10,760 Speaker 1: cliff Bar Mint Chocolate Elite, the seminar ended and you 64 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:16,360 Speaker 1: got swept away into a crowd of khaki dads comparing canisters. 65 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:19,279 Speaker 1: So now I'm here hoping the man who owns a 66 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:23,279 Speaker 1: just in case headlamp and a surprisingly sensitive laugh will 67 00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:25,400 Speaker 1: see this and reach out to me. 68 00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:26,600 Speaker 2: I don't know, but I. 69 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:28,599 Speaker 1: Feel like they're destined to be together. At the end 70 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:32,200 Speaker 1: of the They're going to repopulate the human race someday. 71 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:38,720 Speaker 1: Her name is Claire PS. I'm CPR certified and emotionally available, 72 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:45,960 Speaker 1: ish too emotionally available. Yeah, let's go to your final 73 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:52,080 Speaker 1: misconnection titled high Score Girl, low Key crush Man for 74 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:56,840 Speaker 1: woman twenty eight Game night, Oh says to get the title. Yeah, 75 00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:58,000 Speaker 1: it's gaming. 76 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:02,280 Speaker 2: Every Tuesday night, I go to the barcade to get 77 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:06,000 Speaker 2: a non alcoholic beer, play some games. And beat my 78 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:10,800 Speaker 2: high scores. Oh right, you could say it's my safe space. 79 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:13,640 Speaker 2: And I don't know if you're new or not, but 80 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:16,360 Speaker 2: the other night you showed up playing the same game 81 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:23,279 Speaker 2: I like to play Charlotte's Web Pinball Edition Ding ding Ding. 82 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:28,080 Speaker 1: Whenever you go to those barcades, you know exactly who's 83 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,039 Speaker 1: been there every night for the last weeks. 84 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:34,240 Speaker 2: Yes, he says, you are the sharp and stout redhead 85 00:05:34,240 --> 00:05:39,320 Speaker 2: with a Yoshi backpack on hauling around a substantial princess. 86 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:44,880 Speaker 2: Peach was the shorter king with the shaved head and 87 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:49,240 Speaker 2: brown flannel. Watching you work your chimp flip while avoiding 88 00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:53,400 Speaker 2: that gobble hole, that. 89 00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:56,600 Speaker 1: Pretty impressive. 90 00:05:57,080 --> 00:06:01,360 Speaker 2: Even more so were those darling digits hitting those flippers. 91 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:07,040 Speaker 1: And then you post a bunch of heart emojis. 92 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:10,600 Speaker 2: Once I saw you were close to beating my high score, 93 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:13,560 Speaker 2: I pointed out the hidden bonus behind the ramp to 94 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:14,400 Speaker 2: the pig trough. 95 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:16,200 Speaker 1: Oh is he trying to help you? Is he trying 96 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:17,479 Speaker 1: to hurt you so he doesn't get beat? 97 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:21,120 Speaker 2: Sure enough, you hit it like three seconds later. To 98 00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:24,800 Speaker 2: be honest, I felt defeated, but slightly turned on. 99 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:27,520 Speaker 1: Okay, he likes a powerful woman. 100 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:30,760 Speaker 2: I offered to buy you a glass of non alcoholic 101 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:34,080 Speaker 2: cier to celebrate overtaking me on the leader board. 102 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,640 Speaker 1: But you declined, and. 103 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:41,240 Speaker 2: Then you left with a handful of quarters and sadly, 104 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:45,480 Speaker 2: my heart. How about next time we play a little 105 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:51,720 Speaker 2: nineteen ninety six Sonic the Hedgehog Spinball. Yeah on me, wow, 106 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:59,200 Speaker 2: plus all the non alcoholic drinks you want also on me. Hey, 107 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:03,120 Speaker 2: then I forget something, maybe you should get on me. 108 00:07:05,279 --> 00:07:06,440 Speaker 2: It was all set up. 109 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:14,080 Speaker 1: That was signed Lewisballs. Those are your Craigslist misconnections for 110 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:15,840 Speaker 1: the week. We're going to do a phone tap right 111 00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:18,320 Speaker 2: After this Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.