1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,880 Speaker 1: It is time now for my Strawberry Letter for today. 2 00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:05,880 Speaker 1: And if you need advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, 3 00:00:05,960 --> 00:00:09,040 Speaker 1: parenting and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve 4 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:13,680 Speaker 1: BARBFM dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could 5 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,639 Speaker 1: be reading your letter live on the air, just like 6 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:18,920 Speaker 1: we're going to read this one right here, right now, 7 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:21,720 Speaker 1: and you never know, it could be yours. 8 00:00:22,239 --> 00:00:24,439 Speaker 2: It could be yours. Lee Jim, It's time for the 9 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:31,680 Speaker 2: Strawberry Letter. My good friend, Shirley Strawberry. Thank you, thank. 10 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:34,560 Speaker 1: You, My good friend Junior. Subject is he my man 11 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:38,520 Speaker 1: or hers? Dear Stephen, Shirley. I'm thirty four years old 12 00:00:38,680 --> 00:00:42,600 Speaker 1: and single. After a bad breakup, I rebounded with a 13 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:45,520 Speaker 1: guy from my past. He still lives in the town 14 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:49,680 Speaker 1: where we grew up, so we reconnect it when I 15 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:52,800 Speaker 1: was home visiting my parents for Labor Day. We're making 16 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:56,280 Speaker 1: the long distance thing work because right now he's living 17 00:00:56,320 --> 00:01:00,280 Speaker 1: with his ex girlfriend until their lease expires at the 18 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:07,240 Speaker 1: end of December. Right this causes a problem for my 19 00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:11,360 Speaker 1: parents because my boyfriend's ex girlfriend doesn't does payroll and 20 00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 1: accounting for my dad's cleaners. She's well known in town, 21 00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:17,080 Speaker 1: so no one can believe that my boyfriend dumped her. 22 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:20,560 Speaker 1: I told him that living with her and dating me 23 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:23,279 Speaker 1: would be a problem, but he did not move out. 24 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:25,520 Speaker 1: My dad called me last month and said that he 25 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:28,360 Speaker 1: and my mom are embarrassed by what I'm doing. I 26 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:31,400 Speaker 1: calmly told them that my boyfriend is not married to 27 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:34,240 Speaker 1: the girl, so he's allowed to do as he pleases, 28 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:37,080 Speaker 1: and he chooses to date me. My dad left me 29 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:39,720 Speaker 1: alone for a while, and then my mom called me 30 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:42,800 Speaker 1: and said she saw the girl and my boyfriend at 31 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,560 Speaker 1: an outlet mall together. I asked him about it, and 32 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:48,000 Speaker 1: he said they were picking out sneakers for her nephew, 33 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 1: and she asked for his help. I told him about 34 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:56,040 Speaker 1: this thing called online shopping that they could have done 35 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:59,960 Speaker 1: without going out in public together. He laughed and reassured 36 00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:03,400 Speaker 1: me that I had nothing to worry about. I am 37 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:06,920 Speaker 1: being harshly judged by my parents, but I'm continuing to 38 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:10,200 Speaker 1: fight for my relationship. I guess I'll see what happens 39 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:12,200 Speaker 1: at the end of the year when he's supposed to 40 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:16,919 Speaker 1: move out. My intuition is telling me that to call 41 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,119 Speaker 1: his ex to see if my boyfriend has told her 42 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:22,200 Speaker 1: how he feels about me. Well, if he's playing me. 43 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:25,080 Speaker 1: What if he's playing me? Like my parents said, do 44 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:26,920 Speaker 1: you think that he'll break up with me if I 45 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:30,600 Speaker 1: call his ex? What should I do? Okay, first, let's 46 00:02:30,639 --> 00:02:35,720 Speaker 1: clear this up. Okay, you have no relationship with this guy. Okay, 47 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:40,160 Speaker 1: and you should end this sham of a relationship immediately. 48 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:41,440 Speaker 2: That's what you should do. 49 00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 1: You should have never gotten involved in this. He was 50 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:48,400 Speaker 1: living with someone, and he made promises to you. No, 51 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:52,680 Speaker 1: wait till all that's over, then you guys can start dating. 52 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:55,919 Speaker 1: But now, no, he lives with someone that this is 53 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,079 Speaker 1: a no win. 54 00:02:57,080 --> 00:02:58,240 Speaker 2: Situation for you. 55 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:02,160 Speaker 1: You've given him permission and basically to have her, to 56 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:07,280 Speaker 1: keep her and be with you when you're around. If 57 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:10,160 Speaker 1: he's preparing to be with you, then no other woman 58 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:13,680 Speaker 1: should be involved in the mix. Do you understand that 59 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:18,320 Speaker 1: they live together? So yes, No matter what he's telling you, 60 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:22,120 Speaker 1: he is still sleeping with her. So I say, listen 61 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,160 Speaker 1: to your parents. He is playing you, Steve. 62 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:31,040 Speaker 2: I almost don't say it. 63 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:38,680 Speaker 3: I almost can't believe anything in this letter. It's that unbelievable. 64 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:45,440 Speaker 3: It doesn't make any sense. Everything you said has red 65 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:49,480 Speaker 3: flags stuck in it. Thirty four years old and single 66 00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:55,560 Speaker 3: after bad breakup, I rebounded with a guy from my past, sting. 67 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,880 Speaker 3: Let's stick a red flag in that, because guess what 68 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:04,600 Speaker 3: you said. I read bounded with a guy from my past. So, 69 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:06,760 Speaker 3: I guess you're just gonna throw away the fact that 70 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,480 Speaker 3: you had to break up with him for whatever the reason. 71 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:12,720 Speaker 3: He still lives in town we grew up in, so 72 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:15,640 Speaker 3: we reconnected when I was home visiting my parents for 73 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:16,320 Speaker 3: Labor Day. 74 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:20,560 Speaker 2: Ding another red flag. Weekend fleeing. 75 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 3: We're making uh grew up in so when I was 76 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:27,200 Speaker 3: home visiting the labor day. We're making the long distance 77 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,880 Speaker 3: thing work because right now he's living with his ex 78 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:35,280 Speaker 3: girlfriend until their least expires at the end of December. 79 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,919 Speaker 2: Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding Ding. Lady, 80 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:40,200 Speaker 2: how many flags you need? 81 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:45,480 Speaker 3: You said, we're making the long distance thing work. 82 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:49,839 Speaker 2: What what? What is it that you're making work? 83 00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:56,000 Speaker 3: All it is is a long distance thing because right 84 00:04:56,040 --> 00:05:00,320 Speaker 3: now he's living with his ex girlfriend into their lease 85 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:08,599 Speaker 3: expires at the end of December. Ready, this causes a 86 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 3: problem for my parents because my boyfriend's ex girlfriend does 87 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,720 Speaker 3: payroll in accounting for my dad's cleaners. 88 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,320 Speaker 2: Bing big bing bean another red flag. 89 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:24,599 Speaker 3: When you say this causes a problem for your parents. 90 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:31,000 Speaker 3: See that means there's some involvement with them in your 91 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:35,080 Speaker 3: long distance thing that you're making work with a man 92 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:39,120 Speaker 3: that lives with his ex girlfriend until they least run 93 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:43,440 Speaker 3: out in December. And now the ex girlfriend does payroll 94 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:51,080 Speaker 3: and accountant for your daddy's cleaners. She's well known in town, 95 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:54,200 Speaker 3: so no one can believe that my boyfriend dumped her. 96 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:57,919 Speaker 3: Thing here we go. So what you're telling me is 97 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:03,640 Speaker 3: that this girl has a wonderful relation and everybody knows 98 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:10,400 Speaker 3: her as an upstanding and fine young woman. I told 99 00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:13,800 Speaker 3: him that him living with her and dating me would 100 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:19,400 Speaker 3: be a problem, you think, but he did not move out, 101 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:23,880 Speaker 3: ding another red flag, Baby, You living with this woman 102 00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,960 Speaker 3: gonna be a problem for me? Cool, it's gonna be 103 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:35,520 Speaker 3: a problem for you because I'm staying here. When we 104 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:38,400 Speaker 3: come back, I'll tell you the rest of this unbelievable 105 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:40,159 Speaker 3: letter that's filled with red flag. 106 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,719 Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll have part two of your response coming up 107 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:46,719 Speaker 1: to Stevid twenty three minutes after the our Today Strawberry letter. 108 00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:49,680 Speaker 1: Subject is he my man or hers? We'll get back 109 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:53,600 Speaker 1: into it right after this. You're listening Steve. 110 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:56,160 Speaker 2: Harvey Morning Show. 111 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,799 Speaker 1: Around the holiday. It's hard to find the right gifts, 112 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,799 Speaker 1: but you know it's even harder getting the right gift. 113 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:08,800 Speaker 1: But get this. Verizon's got the perfect solve for both. 114 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:13,400 Speaker 1: They have incredible gift bundles. You get the latest phone 115 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:16,120 Speaker 1: with a new line on my plan and a brand 116 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:19,840 Speaker 1: new smartwatch and tablet, no trade in needed. You can 117 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:22,800 Speaker 1: give a couple away and get yourself one too, or 118 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:25,240 Speaker 1: you can keep them all to yourself. No one has 119 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:28,840 Speaker 1: to know. Stop by your local Verizon. All right, Steve, 120 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:31,760 Speaker 1: Come on, let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject easy 121 00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:33,640 Speaker 1: my man or hers. 122 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:38,080 Speaker 3: This letter, as I'll repeat, is full of red flags. 123 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:41,320 Speaker 3: It's a thirty four year old woman who says she's single. 124 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:48,200 Speaker 3: After a bad breakups, she rebounded with her x red flag. 125 00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:51,480 Speaker 3: They still live in the town that they grew up here, 126 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:53,480 Speaker 3: so she went back to visit her parents on Labor 127 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:58,200 Speaker 3: Day and they connected. We can't fleeing another red flag 128 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:08,040 Speaker 3: making this long distance thing work? Really what thing? Because 129 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:09,160 Speaker 3: right now. 130 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:15,360 Speaker 2: This is the funniest line. Right now, he's. 131 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:18,920 Speaker 3: Living with his ex girlfriend that today least expires at 132 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:20,000 Speaker 3: the end of December. 133 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:27,320 Speaker 2: Girl, listen to me, red flag, red flag, and it's 134 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:31,160 Speaker 2: on fire. You got a red flag and it's on fire. 135 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:36,000 Speaker 3: This causes a problem for my parents because my boyfriend's 136 00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:40,480 Speaker 3: ex girlfriend does payroll and accounting for my dad's cleaners. 137 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,200 Speaker 3: Oh lord, you finn to mess up your dad in money, 138 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:48,040 Speaker 3: then the red flag. She's well known in town, so 139 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:51,800 Speaker 3: no one can believe that my boyfriend dumped her. Well, 140 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,720 Speaker 3: nobody can't believe it because they still live there, and 141 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:57,840 Speaker 3: nobody can't believe it because she supposedly, I guess, well 142 00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:03,320 Speaker 3: liked in this well thought of young lady. I told 143 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:05,760 Speaker 3: him that him living with her and dating me would 144 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:09,880 Speaker 3: be a problem. Yeah, but he did not move out 145 00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:14,480 Speaker 3: for that because it's a problem for you. You told him 146 00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:16,920 Speaker 3: it would be a problem, he said, cool, get over it. 147 00:09:18,360 --> 00:09:20,560 Speaker 3: My dad called me last month and said that he 148 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,679 Speaker 3: and my mama embarrassed by what I'm doing. 149 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:28,920 Speaker 2: That's because everybody she. 150 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:32,360 Speaker 3: Well they know. I ain't saying everybody no. But see 151 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:36,199 Speaker 3: the fact that he told you that nobody in town 152 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:39,040 Speaker 3: can believe he dumped her is because they still live together, 153 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:43,480 Speaker 3: and don't nobody she don't even know she dumpt. So 154 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:46,640 Speaker 3: now your daddy say he's embarrassed by what you're doing. 155 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:50,800 Speaker 3: Because it appears to your father like you a home record. 156 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:56,400 Speaker 3: I calmly told them that my boyfriend is not married 157 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:59,559 Speaker 3: to the girl, so he's allowed to do as he pleases, 158 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:04,800 Speaker 3: and he chooses to date me, beautiful, that's what you said. 159 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:08,080 Speaker 3: You gave him permission to do whatever it is he 160 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:11,880 Speaker 3: wants to do because he's not married, so he's keeping 161 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:17,440 Speaker 3: his girlfriend. They're still sleeping together, and he's dating you. 162 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:21,600 Speaker 3: Your dad is trying to say, girl, grow up. My 163 00:10:21,679 --> 00:10:23,679 Speaker 3: dad left me alone for a while, and then your 164 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,920 Speaker 3: mom called and said she saw the girl and my 165 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:31,640 Speaker 3: boyfriend at the outlet mall together. I ain't been to 166 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:38,960 Speaker 3: the outlet mall, none of my exes, none of them lying. 167 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:44,439 Speaker 2: Ain't nobody seeing me as seals with or nothing nothing. 168 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:47,760 Speaker 3: I asked him about it, and he said they were 169 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:49,360 Speaker 3: picking out sneakers for her. 170 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,839 Speaker 2: Nephew, and she asked for his help. 171 00:10:53,679 --> 00:10:59,720 Speaker 3: What I told him about this thing called online shopping. 172 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,880 Speaker 3: They would have done that without going out in public together. 173 00:11:02,320 --> 00:11:05,800 Speaker 3: He laughed and reassured me I had nothing to worry about. 174 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:11,839 Speaker 2: Another red flag, and guess what you believed? It? Am 175 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,559 Speaker 2: I being harshly judged by my parents? 176 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:18,000 Speaker 3: Now I am being harshly judged by my parents, but 177 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:22,040 Speaker 3: I'm continuing to fight for my relationship. Shirley said, it 178 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:25,720 Speaker 3: best you don't have a relationship, you have a long 179 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:30,160 Speaker 3: distance thing. The least may be up in December, but 180 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:36,200 Speaker 3: they not moving out. I guess I'll see what happens 181 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:38,160 Speaker 3: at the end of the year when he's supposed to 182 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:42,560 Speaker 3: move out. Listen to me, he not moving out. He 183 00:11:42,679 --> 00:11:44,920 Speaker 3: gonna stay there because him and this girl ain't breaking 184 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:48,240 Speaker 3: up when you came back to him on the rebound. 185 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:52,000 Speaker 3: What did you think he was doing when he told 186 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:55,360 Speaker 3: you he lived with somebody and then said, but it's 187 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:57,640 Speaker 3: my ex girlfriend. I'm just staying that to the end. 188 00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:00,000 Speaker 3: That ain't sound crazy to you. 189 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:04,520 Speaker 2: That ain't that. Ain't that ain't give you a moment 190 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:05,120 Speaker 2: of pause. 191 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:09,760 Speaker 3: You didn't you didn't feel some kind of way, So 192 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:12,319 Speaker 3: y'all just decided to go and make this long distance 193 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:19,640 Speaker 3: thing work. My intuition is telling me to call his 194 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:22,560 Speaker 3: ex to see if my boyfriend. 195 00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:27,720 Speaker 2: Has told her how he feels about me. What if 196 00:12:27,760 --> 00:12:28,520 Speaker 2: he's playing me? 197 00:12:28,679 --> 00:12:32,240 Speaker 3: Like my parents said, do you think that he will 198 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:35,080 Speaker 3: break up with me if I call his ex? Y'all, 199 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:46,480 Speaker 3: y'all not together y'ah, faith, y'all not together, see sweetheart, 200 00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:48,920 Speaker 3: let me show show you sof ain't nobody seeing you 201 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:49,959 Speaker 3: and him at the outlet? 202 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:55,800 Speaker 2: Mom had it? Huh? What should I do? You should 203 00:12:55,880 --> 00:12:56,920 Speaker 2: stop seeing. 204 00:12:56,600 --> 00:13:00,320 Speaker 3: This boy because he's still with his girlfriend. Now you 205 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:02,560 Speaker 3: can be to do the vindictive thing and call the 206 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:06,200 Speaker 3: girl and say, hey, I'm sleeping with your man. But 207 00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:09,960 Speaker 3: if you did that to me, I'm gonna accuse you 208 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,800 Speaker 3: of being delusional. And yeah, I saw you on label 209 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:15,520 Speaker 3: Day weekend, but we ain't got nothing going on. Then 210 00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:18,040 Speaker 3: I'm gonna wash you out my phone, take all the 211 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:22,840 Speaker 3: contacts out, and then you gonna be boom. So. I 212 00:13:22,840 --> 00:13:25,520 Speaker 3: don't know what to tell you, But ain't no need 213 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:27,960 Speaker 3: to wrecking the rest of his home because because you 214 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,000 Speaker 3: got played, he is playing you. 215 00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:34,839 Speaker 2: All right, fail for it. Now, just get over it and 216 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,440 Speaker 2: just stop doing rebound stuff. 217 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:39,920 Speaker 1: Post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve HARVFM 218 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:43,079 Speaker 1: on Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast 219 00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:46,760 Speaker 1: on the free iHeartRadio app. You're listening to the Steve 220 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:47,880 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show.