WEBVTT - Infamous: Peter Kraus 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:01.520 Ben Higgins and Ashley. 0:00:01.560 --> 0:00:03.640 I bring you infamous. 0:00:04.080 --> 0:00:07.080 Sometimes roses are red flags. 0:00:07.440 --> 0:00:13.160 Welcome to almost Famous. It is another episode of Infamous. 0:00:13.280 --> 0:00:15.280 We want to step back to season thirteen of the 0:00:15.320 --> 0:00:18.960 Bachelorette when Rachel Lindsay was the Bachelorette, and you might 0:00:19.000 --> 0:00:22.840 remember our guest, the Bachelor that never was, the Bachelor 0:00:22.880 --> 0:00:27.080 that got away. In my opinion, he was known for 0:00:27.200 --> 0:00:30.160 his little gap tooth smile and the little silver flex 0:00:30.200 --> 0:00:35.600 in his hair. It is Peter Craus. Peter, welcome to 0:00:35.680 --> 0:00:36.440 the podcast. 0:00:37.000 --> 0:00:39.560 Thank you very much. Prian, more gret now than ever, 0:00:39.640 --> 0:00:41.520 and the gap toooths are still there. 0:00:41.680 --> 0:00:44.640 Yeah, you're not sal You're like you are. You're actually 0:00:44.720 --> 0:00:46.200 the definition salt and pepper. 0:00:46.240 --> 0:00:48.200 Now i'd say, oh yeah, I'd say I'm more salt 0:00:48.200 --> 0:00:49.040 than pepper at this point. 0:00:49.280 --> 0:00:51.680 When did you start doing gray eighteen? 0:00:52.560 --> 0:00:54.360 I was eighteen years old when I saw my first 0:00:54.360 --> 0:00:54.880 gray hairs. 0:00:55.040 --> 0:00:57.080 Yeah, I feel like I was around that age. 0:00:57.520 --> 0:00:59.520 Yeah, this first time I've seen you with some gray 0:00:59.560 --> 0:01:02.360 and your beard. Oh dude, I'm getting welcome to the party. 0:01:02.440 --> 0:01:04.920 Jared's beard is the first to go too. I don't 0:01:04.959 --> 0:01:08.840 know what it is. He's so great there, Peter, we 0:01:08.880 --> 0:01:11.400 are so excited to talk to you. And I have 0:01:11.480 --> 0:01:16.560 to just air this before when you started dating your girlfriend, Hannah, 0:01:16.600 --> 0:01:18.000 Is that how you say your name Hannah? 0:01:18.120 --> 0:01:21.640 Hannah? Oh, it is a traditional old plunciation, but yeah, 0:01:21.640 --> 0:01:22.600 spelled Ana. 0:01:23.520 --> 0:01:23.880 Okay. 0:01:24.040 --> 0:01:28.560 So I met her ten years ago to this month, 0:01:29.200 --> 0:01:31.720 and we started following each other on Instagram. 0:01:32.120 --> 0:01:32.360 Yeah. 0:01:32.560 --> 0:01:34.920 I was at an event. It was a very small, 0:01:34.959 --> 0:01:36.520 like girls only sort of. 0:01:37.080 --> 0:01:37.280 Uh. 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:39.600 I think it was the premiere of the Bachelorette. It 0:01:39.640 --> 0:01:42.039 was like a viewing party for it at the W 0:01:42.280 --> 0:01:44.880 Hotel in Fort Lauderdale. And she and I were talking 0:01:45.000 --> 0:01:47.560 sports broadcasting because we had both gone to school for 0:01:47.600 --> 0:01:50.880 that and she was, you know, on TV for it. Yeah, 0:01:51.080 --> 0:01:53.680 she was like really making her way down there and 0:01:53.920 --> 0:01:56.720 uh yeah. So and I've been following her ever since, 0:01:56.720 --> 0:01:58.400 like she just comes up with my feed. Still I 0:01:58.440 --> 0:02:00.360 still like have always like kind of engaged. It had 0:02:00.400 --> 0:02:03.080 been for some reason, just interested. And then all of 0:02:03.120 --> 0:02:06.360 a sudden, I saw you two start posting about each other. 0:02:06.440 --> 0:02:09.600 I was like, what in the small world is this 0:02:10.760 --> 0:02:13.840 you met on Riya Riyah Raya right right now? 0:02:13.960 --> 0:02:15.960 Yeah? Well and she knows, I mean she's told me 0:02:16.000 --> 0:02:18.600 the same story. I'm impressed. You remember the exact details 0:02:18.600 --> 0:02:19.480 of it. That's impressive. 0:02:19.680 --> 0:02:21.120 Oh she has, Oh my god. 0:02:21.240 --> 0:02:24.040 Yeah. And then really then you actually met her at 0:02:24.040 --> 0:02:25.639 one point too. You probably don't even know. That's because 0:02:25.639 --> 0:02:29.119 I didn't know it. We were in Vegas. The last 0:02:29.120 --> 0:02:32.799 time I saw you was in Vegas, like eight something 0:02:32.840 --> 0:02:33.120 like that. 0:02:33.760 --> 0:02:34.480 I do the same thing. 0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:35.320 Twenty eighteen. 0:02:35.480 --> 0:02:38.359 Yeah, Sorr, yeah, twenty eighteen. Yea, twenty eighteen. 0:02:38.440 --> 0:02:40.120 I was trying to think back. I was like, goodness, 0:02:40.360 --> 0:02:43.880 this is we're now were really going to make me 0:02:43.919 --> 0:02:44.480 feel awkward. 0:02:44.880 --> 0:02:47.560 Fast forward from then eight or ten years. Yeah, you know. 0:02:47.639 --> 0:02:50.639 So she was there on a bachherette party and we 0:02:50.639 --> 0:02:53.520 were at a pool. We had just gotten done surfing 0:02:53.600 --> 0:02:56.119 at the pool, and she and her friends apparently walked 0:02:56.200 --> 0:02:57.960 up to us and introduced themselves and chatted with us 0:02:57.960 --> 0:03:00.000 for a little bit, And so I had met her. 0:03:00.040 --> 0:03:04.359 I don't remember this interaction mattered for they just said 0:03:04.440 --> 0:03:06.360 hi and that was the end of that. Moved on 0:03:06.400 --> 0:03:07.399 with their lives plan. 0:03:07.200 --> 0:03:09.519 At Hollywood twenty eighteen. 0:03:09.760 --> 0:03:11.960 I know, Wow, good memory. 0:03:12.280 --> 0:03:14.640 Yeah, but you didn't remember this, so I'm not like 0:03:14.720 --> 0:03:19.400 in trouble or not remembering this interaction. No, And you've 0:03:19.400 --> 0:03:20.200 been together for how long. 0:03:20.280 --> 0:03:22.320 Now, it'll be a year next month. 0:03:22.880 --> 0:03:26.240 Goodness, is this the first major relationship since the show, 0:03:26.760 --> 0:03:28.280 like major relationship. 0:03:28.040 --> 0:03:30.480 First one that I'm sharing publicly, I would say. 0:03:30.760 --> 0:03:33.320 Which means like you have some confidence in her. 0:03:33.240 --> 0:03:35.520 Right, Oh, yeah, We'll be engaged by the end of 0:03:35.560 --> 0:03:38.400 the year. I'll married next year, kids by the end 0:03:38.440 --> 0:03:42.200 of next year, I would guess. Yeah, that's so cute. 0:03:42.240 --> 0:03:42.800 No, I love it. 0:03:42.880 --> 0:03:45.240 I'm not surprised by this at all. My sister I 0:03:45.280 --> 0:03:48.200 told her that I was interviewing you today and she 0:03:48.360 --> 0:03:52.120 was like, he deleted all the pictures on his Instagram 0:03:52.560 --> 0:03:55.600 from his life before he met Hannah. You have to 0:03:55.600 --> 0:03:56.520 talk to him about that. 0:03:57.160 --> 0:03:59.880 Well. That started with, so, I have a new business 0:04:00.120 --> 0:04:02.880 entra going on, and I'd gotten off on Instagram at 0:04:02.880 --> 0:04:04.640 one point. I just was sick of dealing with it 0:04:05.200 --> 0:04:07.320 and the new business venture. I wanted to announce with 0:04:07.440 --> 0:04:09.520 like just a clean slate and just have everything be 0:04:09.680 --> 0:04:12.880 pertaining to that. And then she announced our relationship on 0:04:12.880 --> 0:04:14.560 Instagram and I just felt bad that she was doing 0:04:14.600 --> 0:04:17.440 it and I wasn't. So I decided to just announce 0:04:18.080 --> 0:04:21.520 my return to Instagram, I guess early. And so now 0:04:21.560 --> 0:04:23.880 it's just pretty much she and I is my entire Instagram. 0:04:24.120 --> 0:04:26.000 There was no life before he Let's be honest. 0:04:26.279 --> 0:04:28.120 Yeah, that's what's so romantic about it. 0:04:28.839 --> 0:04:31.120 And that's why I said everything starts with this, Like 0:04:31.160 --> 0:04:32.880 the whole moment starts now in. 0:04:32.839 --> 0:04:35.520 The attitude of keeping things healthy, let's start talking about 0:04:35.520 --> 0:04:36.840 the Bachelorette. 0:04:37.440 --> 0:04:41.280 Also, nothing healthier than that now. 0:04:41.600 --> 0:04:44.800 Well, she was obviously a big Bachelor fan, having met 0:04:44.880 --> 0:04:46.920 us all in individually before. 0:04:47.360 --> 0:04:50.720 Oh yeah, she, like many girls in this country, watched 0:04:51.040 --> 0:04:54.120 I'm sure her fair amount growing up. Yeah, and she 0:04:54.400 --> 0:04:56.839 watched my season, Ben, she watched her season, Ashley, she 0:04:56.880 --> 0:04:57.240 watched you. 0:04:57.960 --> 0:05:01.080 Yeah, there's a level to that. My wife has never 0:05:01.120 --> 0:05:04.479 seen it. There's moments, very few where I'm like, ah, 0:05:04.520 --> 0:05:06.720 it'd be fun to talk about some of this with her. 0:05:07.160 --> 0:05:10.400 That's not exactly like a great thing for you know, 0:05:10.680 --> 0:05:14.160 your spouse to have watched, But there are some moments 0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:15.760 where I'm like, this could be a fun or maybe 0:05:15.760 --> 0:05:17.479 we could sit down and watch it together, but just 0:05:17.520 --> 0:05:19.000 not type her type of thing. 0:05:19.640 --> 0:05:19.880 Yep. 0:05:20.279 --> 0:05:22.120 And as a result, it's really not a part of 0:05:22.160 --> 0:05:25.359 our relationship. Ever, we never talked about it, which I 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:27.360 also like, there's benefits to that too. 0:05:29.360 --> 0:05:31.080 She does still watch Golden Basher, I'll tell you that. 0:05:31.720 --> 0:05:33.279 Yeah, oh Golden Yeah, big. 0:05:33.320 --> 0:05:36.719 Yeah, Georgia, I haven't watched any of it, but she's 0:05:36.760 --> 0:05:37.240 still a fan. 0:05:37.760 --> 0:05:40.680 Well, we're gonna dive in. The infamous episodes are all 0:05:40.800 --> 0:05:44.880 about kind of uncovering what is or what was behind 0:05:44.920 --> 0:05:48.400 the scenes that maybe we didn't see, that maybe it 0:05:48.440 --> 0:05:51.680 was portrayed in a way that it really didn't happen, 0:05:51.920 --> 0:05:54.760 or maybe it did, and you just bring light to 0:05:54.800 --> 0:05:56.840 a situation and saying, yeah, this is exactly how I 0:05:56.880 --> 0:05:58.599 went down when I watched it back it was this 0:05:59.200 --> 0:06:00.880 but before we die, been to your time on the 0:06:00.920 --> 0:06:03.480 Bachelor app which is always fun. We have had some 0:06:03.480 --> 0:06:08.040 great interviews. There was one other public relationship that we 0:06:08.160 --> 0:06:10.240 have to get cleared up that our fans have written 0:06:10.240 --> 0:06:12.480 in and asked about. The NICKI I think her name 0:06:12.520 --> 0:06:13.440 is what Nicky or Bella? 0:06:14.000 --> 0:06:14.640 Nicky Bella? 0:06:14.720 --> 0:06:17.520 Yeah, was that ever really TV thing? 0:06:17.640 --> 0:06:22.560 No, they reached out to me through They may have 0:06:22.600 --> 0:06:27.320 even been amy, to be honest, I feel like our producer. Yeah, 0:06:27.360 --> 0:06:28.960 I think it was like connections and connections. I don't 0:06:29.000 --> 0:06:32.280 remember what it was, but they said there's a show 0:06:32.360 --> 0:06:34.960 called Toto Bella's They would love for you to come 0:06:35.000 --> 0:06:36.760 on and go on a date with Nikki, would you 0:06:37.040 --> 0:06:40.799 be up for And I said, hell yeah, Like she's gorgeous, 0:06:40.920 --> 0:06:44.800 she's hard working, and she's intelligent. Like this is absolutely 0:06:44.839 --> 0:06:46.360 someone i'd go on a date with, even outside of 0:06:46.400 --> 0:06:50.719 the show. So why not. We went on one date, date 0:06:50.760 --> 0:06:53.480 went well. A week or two later, I sent her 0:06:53.640 --> 0:06:56.800 flowers and this special candy that she had talked about 0:06:56.880 --> 0:06:59.520 during our date, and we chatted back forth a little bit, 0:06:59.560 --> 0:07:02.240 but nothing ever came of it. I guess that was 0:07:02.240 --> 0:07:05.080 the end of that. Literally nothing more than that, which 0:07:05.080 --> 0:07:06.560 I was more exciting for you guys, But that was. 0:07:06.800 --> 0:07:09.280 Not kind of exciting. I mean, you got dumped. 0:07:09.400 --> 0:07:12.040 That's romantic, I think. 0:07:12.120 --> 0:07:14.400 I say it's romantic. You say he is tough. 0:07:15.880 --> 0:07:17.840 It was great, Like it didn't suck by any means. 0:07:17.840 --> 0:07:20.360 It's a great date. It was fun. I guess a 0:07:20.400 --> 0:07:22.000 week or two of interaction and that was it. 0:07:22.680 --> 0:07:25.200 Well we can dive into that, but we have other 0:07:25.280 --> 0:07:30.600 things to talk about, like you know, Rachel Lindsay, all right, 0:07:30.680 --> 0:07:34.240 so your big thing on the show was that you 0:07:34.320 --> 0:07:37.480 weren't going to propose at the end, especially We're like, 0:07:37.640 --> 0:07:40.480 I'm not going to propose to you, Rachel, like, I 0:07:40.520 --> 0:07:45.040 would love to be with you, but this is just ridiculous. 0:07:45.080 --> 0:07:45.920 We've known each other. 0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:46.920 For eight weeks. 0:07:47.320 --> 0:07:49.680 Was it before the show or during the show that 0:07:49.760 --> 0:07:52.280 you decided that a proposal at the end of it 0:07:52.320 --> 0:07:53.160 wasn't going to be for you. 0:07:54.000 --> 0:07:56.040 The last conversation I have with friends before I went 0:07:56.080 --> 0:07:58.160 on the show was I'd see you guys in two weeks. 0:07:58.720 --> 0:08:00.720 The thought of proposal was and even ever in my 0:08:00.800 --> 0:08:03.119 mind going onto the show, I looked at it as 0:08:03.640 --> 0:08:07.080 this is a great fun, exciting and different, unique opportunity 0:08:07.120 --> 0:08:09.440 that very few people get, and I'm single, and I 0:08:09.440 --> 0:08:11.800 could potentially find love in the process. Hell yeah, let's 0:08:11.880 --> 0:08:14.480 do it. Like it was just a fun experience, and 0:08:14.480 --> 0:08:16.280 when it started to get serious, like oh, this is 0:08:16.320 --> 0:08:21.440 actually potentially going to like the long haul, engagement became 0:08:21.480 --> 0:08:23.280 more of a conversation as like, Okay, this needs to 0:08:23.320 --> 0:08:28.480 be taken more seriously. And she and I started having 0:08:28.480 --> 0:08:32.319 conversations pretty early on about like this does and an engagement, 0:08:32.320 --> 0:08:33.560 But I don't want to think that was to like 0:08:34.080 --> 0:08:35.760 at least a third of the way through it, maybe 0:08:35.760 --> 0:08:38.280 half of the way through it. And as much as 0:08:38.280 --> 0:08:41.000 I was falling for her. In those moments, I knew 0:08:41.040 --> 0:08:44.679 that it wasn't enough real life experience to say, Okay, 0:08:44.679 --> 0:08:47.400 I can definitively commit the rest of my life to 0:08:47.440 --> 0:08:50.120 this person. It seemed like on my side of things 0:08:50.160 --> 0:08:52.000 like that just kind of made sense. If I'm going 0:08:52.080 --> 0:08:54.520 to be with someone for the rest of my life, 0:08:54.520 --> 0:08:56.400 I want to know what they're like in more scenarios 0:08:56.480 --> 0:08:59.360 in real life. And so we started having more and 0:08:59.360 --> 0:09:02.719 more conversations about it, and then it wasn't until I 0:09:02.760 --> 0:09:04.360 think the last few weeks of the show that I 0:09:04.400 --> 0:09:06.360 was like, this is just not going to end in 0:09:07.000 --> 0:09:09.520 engagement for me. It's not that it wasn't ever an option, 0:09:09.559 --> 0:09:11.880 it's just now I really know at this point, only 0:09:11.920 --> 0:09:14.520 having a couple weeks left, like the next date after 0:09:14.520 --> 0:09:19.120 our biggest conversation about it was the engagement ceremony. Like Jesus, 0:09:19.120 --> 0:09:21.160 we're just having the biggest conversation about it now, and 0:09:21.160 --> 0:09:23.840 I'm supposed to get engaged to you next. This is 0:09:25.559 --> 0:09:29.320 this is not a legitimate possibility for me at this time. 0:09:29.840 --> 0:09:33.079 Let's sit in this moment then for a second. I'm sure, 0:09:34.960 --> 0:09:37.480 knowing you, you were not easy to be produced, which 0:09:37.520 --> 0:09:39.360 I think is a credit to you. I actually say 0:09:39.360 --> 0:09:42.400 that in a complimentary way. I think both sides. Doesn't 0:09:42.400 --> 0:09:45.080 say that about me. I definitely don't say that about Ashley. 0:09:45.160 --> 0:09:49.400 She is so easy to get produced. But I think 0:09:49.400 --> 0:09:52.040 there's good to both. Like one is a trusting person 0:09:52.120 --> 0:09:54.840 like Ashley who says, hey, like I believe you have 0:09:54.880 --> 0:09:56.760 my best interests in mind, I don't want to believe 0:09:56.920 --> 0:09:59.440 you don't, And as a result, I am going to 0:09:59.559 --> 0:10:03.160 follow you your lead and kind of do whatever you 0:10:03.240 --> 0:10:05.880 ask of me. And as a result, you have an Ashley, 0:10:05.960 --> 0:10:08.360 which is an amazing human. I love her dearly, but 0:10:08.400 --> 0:10:10.280 we also have you, I think, on the other side, 0:10:10.920 --> 0:10:12.880 who says I'm not going to trust anything you say 0:10:12.880 --> 0:10:15.920 to me. There is nothing you could input wisdom into 0:10:15.960 --> 0:10:18.839 me at this time that I would follow, And as 0:10:18.840 --> 0:10:22.640 a result, I think I know best which is good 0:10:22.640 --> 0:10:24.880 and bad, and this is how I'm going to communicate it. 0:10:24.960 --> 0:10:27.920 So if you can give the fans kind of underneath 0:10:28.280 --> 0:10:31.479 the hood of in those moments leading up to that conversation, 0:10:31.679 --> 0:10:33.600 I'm sure you told somebody, hey, I'm not going to 0:10:33.600 --> 0:10:35.959 get engaged at the end of this, and they probably 0:10:36.040 --> 0:10:39.400 panicked or maybe they didn't, but explain it to us. 0:10:40.040 --> 0:10:44.040 Yeah, where should I start. First place I start was 0:10:44.800 --> 0:10:48.600 early early on in the show, like our very first week, 0:10:48.679 --> 0:10:52.240 I want to say. I was having conversations pretty regularly 0:10:52.280 --> 0:10:55.600 with producers, as you guys know you would do throughout 0:10:55.640 --> 0:10:58.760 the entirety of the show, and during just like a 0:10:58.800 --> 0:11:01.440 normal conversation with one of them I won't say who 0:11:01.520 --> 0:11:06.680 it was, I brought up some pretty important and personal 0:11:06.720 --> 0:11:11.719 stuff about my family and had all the trust in 0:11:11.760 --> 0:11:14.920 the world of these people. I thought, Okay, this is 0:11:14.960 --> 0:11:19.640 a good person. We can communicate and my thoughts are 0:11:19.679 --> 0:11:22.960 safe with this person. And then like two three days later, 0:11:23.800 --> 0:11:26.000 we were in one of the confessionals whatever we call it, 0:11:26.720 --> 0:11:32.400 and while on camera, she brought it up and wanted 0:11:32.440 --> 0:11:36.840 to get an answer relating to it, or just like 0:11:36.880 --> 0:11:38.880 a sound bite relating to it, and I just paused 0:11:38.920 --> 0:11:41.320 for a second, was like, oh, this is not what 0:11:41.400 --> 0:11:45.319 I thought it was. This is a scheme to get 0:11:45.320 --> 0:11:48.080 me to say something that can be used for the 0:11:48.080 --> 0:11:51.480 betterment of those behind the camera. And that's when the 0:11:51.520 --> 0:11:53.280 whole script flipped for me. It was like, Okay, this 0:11:53.400 --> 0:11:57.760 is now serious. I have to be intentional about what 0:11:57.800 --> 0:12:00.520 I say and do. I can still try very best 0:12:00.559 --> 0:12:02.360 to be myself in this situation. But at the end 0:12:02.360 --> 0:12:04.920 of the day, they have a product that they're trying 0:12:04.920 --> 0:12:07.000 to produce, and that product is built off of a 0:12:07.040 --> 0:12:12.160 certain scenario or result that they choose to have, and 0:12:12.240 --> 0:12:15.880 I am nothing but a pawn in that scheme. So 0:12:17.280 --> 0:12:20.319 be myself but be guarded. That's what it kind of 0:12:20.360 --> 0:12:22.320 came down to. And I found that more and more 0:12:22.360 --> 0:12:22.880 throughout time. 0:12:23.200 --> 0:12:25.000 Did you call that producer out in the moment or 0:12:25.040 --> 0:12:26.480 do you just keep that internal? 0:12:26.600 --> 0:12:26.640 No? 0:12:27.280 --> 0:12:31.840 No, no need to, Like, why show your cards? If 0:12:31.880 --> 0:12:34.240 I know what they're doing, They're they're just going to 0:12:34.280 --> 0:12:36.080 find other ways to manipulate played dumb when you have 0:12:36.120 --> 0:12:38.920 to or else they just try to become smarter in 0:12:38.960 --> 0:12:41.480 that situation. So let them. Let them do what they 0:12:41.480 --> 0:12:43.440 had to do. And I just went about my way 0:12:44.520 --> 0:12:46.720 trying to engage my relationship more and more with Rachel 0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:50.880 without giving the soundbites that they needed for the show 0:12:50.920 --> 0:12:51.720 to carry on. 0:12:52.120 --> 0:12:55.360 It's an exhausting and being in it, that's it. I mean, 0:12:55.400 --> 0:12:58.520 I've been in that mindset on the show before. It's 0:12:58.559 --> 0:13:02.240 a really tiring mindset because your whole life is being 0:13:02.679 --> 0:13:06.440 filmed and you're always thinking, like if I say this 0:13:06.600 --> 0:13:09.120 one sentence, it could be used against me, and so 0:13:09.200 --> 0:13:12.800 I'm always on guard. It makes it a lot less fun. 0:13:12.840 --> 0:13:14.720 I always say, if I had to do the show again, 0:13:14.760 --> 0:13:17.480 I'd have more fun. I had very little fun during 0:13:17.520 --> 0:13:20.439 the experience on both seasons because I was always so guarded. 0:13:21.280 --> 0:13:23.440 Are you saying then, that, as you went into this 0:13:23.559 --> 0:13:26.960 huge conversation with Rachel about where your relationship was going 0:13:27.000 --> 0:13:31.680 to go, engagement or no engagement, dating, not dating, did 0:13:31.800 --> 0:13:34.600 any producer have any idea that you were about to 0:13:34.640 --> 0:13:35.520 say what you said? 0:13:36.320 --> 0:13:38.920 Well, I mean there's all sorts of different tactics used 0:13:38.920 --> 0:13:45.000 throughout to get a result. And another producer, again I 0:13:45.000 --> 0:13:47.760 won't say a name, but a very high up producer 0:13:47.800 --> 0:13:50.280 in the show multiple times told me that I was 0:13:50.280 --> 0:13:51.760 in love, Like you're in love, You're in love, Just 0:13:51.800 --> 0:13:53.360 admit that you're in love, Peter, You're in love. Come 0:13:53.400 --> 0:13:56.280 on to say it, like trying so hard to just 0:13:56.400 --> 0:13:58.200 coax me into saying something that at that time I 0:13:58.200 --> 0:14:00.959 didn't yet believe. And it's like, if you just want 0:14:01.000 --> 0:14:03.320 that result, what's the point. I'm not going to say it. 0:14:04.040 --> 0:14:05.800 So when time's right, I'll say it. And then once 0:14:05.880 --> 0:14:07.199 it finally did come out of my mouth, because I 0:14:07.240 --> 0:14:10.640 actually started to feel it for her. The script basically 0:14:10.679 --> 0:14:12.280 changed on their side of things. They must have decided 0:14:12.280 --> 0:14:14.280 at that point, like, oh, we need to actually stick 0:14:14.360 --> 0:14:17.880 with this different scenario. So now we're going to start 0:14:17.920 --> 0:14:20.280 to tell you say, you know, stick to your guns. 0:14:20.280 --> 0:14:22.600 You don't have to get engaged yet. So then also 0:14:22.720 --> 0:14:25.080 I started to hear those echoes through the chambers of 0:14:25.520 --> 0:14:27.040 just stick to your guns. You don't have to get 0:14:27.040 --> 0:14:29.280 engaged if you're not ready for it yet, Like you're 0:14:29.320 --> 0:14:31.960 being true to yourself, be true to yourself. It was 0:14:31.960 --> 0:14:36.120 the most manipulative experience on that side of things, and 0:14:36.560 --> 0:14:38.040 that all was fine. I kind of got used to 0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:40.160 what that was and was able to just internalize it 0:14:40.160 --> 0:14:44.080 all myself. But then the hardest part was they had 0:14:44.080 --> 0:14:47.720 a therapist on staff who was almost parroting what their 0:14:47.760 --> 0:14:50.680 messages were. So that's where I actually found the most 0:14:51.720 --> 0:14:55.480 discomfort in the whole thing. Was a person that I 0:14:55.520 --> 0:15:01.080 was coming to for like a safe space started to 0:15:01.120 --> 0:15:03.560 become just another part of the process. 0:15:04.360 --> 0:15:05.320 It feels a little Truman. 0:15:05.320 --> 0:15:07.720 She oh, yeah, very much so, and she started getting 0:15:07.720 --> 0:15:10.320 me like insights how Rachel was feeling. I'm like, you 0:15:10.840 --> 0:15:13.360 can't do that. That doesn't seem appropriate. I thought this 0:15:13.440 --> 0:15:15.360 was like a safe space. What are you giving to 0:15:15.400 --> 0:15:19.000 those that I've said? So overall, the whole thing was 0:15:19.040 --> 0:15:24.680 pretty uh, for lack of a better term, growth in that way. 0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:29.080 But all that aside, like the situation with Rachel and 0:15:29.080 --> 0:15:33.320 the relationship I was developing with Rachel was always a 0:15:33.360 --> 0:15:35.800 really great experience, Like she and I had a lot 0:15:35.840 --> 0:15:42.040 of connection, a lot of fun together, just yet overall 0:15:42.120 --> 0:15:44.320 enjoyment of each other's company. It was very easy to 0:15:44.360 --> 0:15:48.200 be with her. It wasn't until like the end of 0:15:48.200 --> 0:15:51.600 the show really started to be in the focal point 0:15:51.600 --> 0:15:53.960 of like, Okay, this is this is actually happening, Like 0:15:53.960 --> 0:15:57.880 we're actually moving into marriage is the next step, Engagement 0:15:57.920 --> 0:15:59.400 is the next step. Even upon meeting the family, it 0:15:59.480 --> 0:16:04.560 all still so seemed so light and fun for the 0:16:04.600 --> 0:16:07.840 most part. But then I was like, Okay, yeah, you're 0:16:07.840 --> 0:16:11.080 getting engaged in like four or five days, I want 0:16:11.080 --> 0:16:12.560 to say, at that point a week. 0:16:13.080 --> 0:16:29.080 Yeah, people like remember this moment, the moment that you 0:16:29.160 --> 0:16:33.040 and Rachel had your big argument at the end, because 0:16:33.600 --> 0:16:38.320 from what we saw, it really seemed like you were 0:16:38.320 --> 0:16:42.560 the one that she wanted. But at the same time, 0:16:43.160 --> 0:16:46.160 she seemed to be putting again. The way that they 0:16:46.280 --> 0:16:51.960 edited it made it seem like she apparently wanted the 0:16:52.040 --> 0:16:57.800 engagement more than true love, and you even said, Okay, fine, 0:16:57.880 --> 0:17:02.320 go have a mediocre life. When you look back at 0:17:02.360 --> 0:17:06.640 this moment, what's your interpretation of it all? What really 0:17:06.760 --> 0:17:10.119 happened and how was it different than what we saw. 0:17:10.680 --> 0:17:12.800 I think the entire show needs to be put in 0:17:12.800 --> 0:17:15.880 context first, and that is it is not a real 0:17:15.880 --> 0:17:21.160 life situation to start, so to expect real life responses 0:17:22.240 --> 0:17:25.960 is impossible. The way that we handle ourselves in the situation, 0:17:26.040 --> 0:17:27.240 I think was the best we could do in the 0:17:27.280 --> 0:17:32.160 moment that we were in. The emotions were high. We 0:17:32.160 --> 0:17:38.480 were isolated with only connection to people within the show. 0:17:39.880 --> 0:17:41.840 We had no family to really draw upon, our friends 0:17:41.840 --> 0:17:45.080 to draw upon. There was a lot of stress. She 0:17:45.160 --> 0:17:47.119 was the first ever black bachelorett. The amount of stress 0:17:47.160 --> 0:17:50.680 alone from that, I can't imagine how challenging the entire 0:17:50.720 --> 0:17:53.240 situation was. Then, to think that this could end without 0:17:53.240 --> 0:17:57.480 an engagement, where the show is so dependent on the 0:17:57.520 --> 0:18:00.000 engagement being the end result, I can't imagine how much 0:18:00.160 --> 0:18:03.320 stress it felt. So I'm sure it was extremely challenging 0:18:03.359 --> 0:18:09.200 for her. For myself, it was. I didn't want to 0:18:09.280 --> 0:18:12.160 hurt her. I genuinely wanted to see where the rate 0:18:12.400 --> 0:18:19.760 or the relationship went, and seeing her as heartbroken as 0:18:19.760 --> 0:18:23.200 she seemed at the time was extremely challenging. So I 0:18:23.240 --> 0:18:24.639 also wanted to make her happy, and so at the 0:18:24.720 --> 0:18:27.040 very end I even said like fine, like let's just 0:18:27.160 --> 0:18:28.960 let's get engaged, Like, if that's what you need, I'll 0:18:28.960 --> 0:18:32.320 do it. That was like the final fifteen minutes or 0:18:32.320 --> 0:18:35.520 so of the conversation, I want to say, and then 0:18:36.080 --> 0:18:38.560 she always said no, Like that just felt like it 0:18:38.600 --> 0:18:43.040 was like a secondhand thought at that point, and it 0:18:43.119 --> 0:18:45.560 kind of ruined the whole situation, which obviously I wouldn't 0:18:45.560 --> 0:18:52.560 want to get engaged in that I guess scenario either. Yeah. Yeah, 0:18:52.600 --> 0:18:56.480 but this is tough for me to talk about right now. 0:18:56.480 --> 0:18:57.840 I haven't talked about this in a very long time. 0:18:57.840 --> 0:19:01.679 I guess. I'm so sorry. No, that's all right, it's 0:19:01.720 --> 0:19:05.040 probably good to bring it up. The situation itself was 0:19:05.080 --> 0:19:06.800 just hard like that. I don't think there's any right 0:19:06.880 --> 0:19:09.200 or wrong to it. What I said in that moment 0:19:09.480 --> 0:19:14.600 was very hurtful and inappropriate, and I wish I hadn't 0:19:14.640 --> 0:19:16.119 said it, but I did. So I have to own it, 0:19:16.160 --> 0:19:19.679 like I did say those words, which I won't even 0:19:19.720 --> 0:19:23.000 repeat because I think they're really gross, and I tried 0:19:23.000 --> 0:19:24.680 to apologize for it, but that only means so much 0:19:24.680 --> 0:19:26.880 when it's in front of millions of people and you're 0:19:26.920 --> 0:19:33.240 already hurt and feeling betrayed. I'm sure by someone who 0:19:33.240 --> 0:19:34.040 could say that to you. 0:19:34.400 --> 0:19:36.879 Let me dive in here, because for clarity's sake, you 0:19:36.920 --> 0:19:40.000 can go any the direction. When you said those words, 0:19:40.560 --> 0:19:45.200