1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:01,600 Speaker 1: I'm not saying you have to suddenly love your body 2 00:00:01,600 --> 00:00:03,920 Speaker 1: after this, you just need to stop attacking it. 3 00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:05,200 Speaker 2: So that's really step one. 4 00:00:05,320 --> 00:00:08,480 Speaker 1: I'm Raleydavlukiah, and on my podcast A Really Good Cry, 5 00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:12,360 Speaker 1: we embrace the messy and the beautiful, providing a space 6 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:16,200 Speaker 1: for raw, un fielded conversations that celebrate vulnerability and allow 7 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:20,799 Speaker 1: you to tune in to learn, connect and find comfort together. Hey, ryone, 8 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:23,160 Speaker 1: welcome back to this week's episode of A Really Good Cry. 9 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:26,240 Speaker 1: I hope you're having such a great week. I today 10 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:28,960 Speaker 1: wanted to talk about something that's been on my mind 11 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:32,440 Speaker 1: so much more this week than usual, and it's this 12 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,839 Speaker 1: constant self loathing of our body. I feel like I've 13 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:40,520 Speaker 1: gotten so tired of this constant repetition of negative words 14 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:42,400 Speaker 1: whenever I'm looking in the mirror. The other day, I 15 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:45,120 Speaker 1: woke up and honestly, I was in such a good mood. 16 00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:47,760 Speaker 1: I decided to do a little workout at home myself, 17 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:50,200 Speaker 1: and so I went to my wardrobe and I saw 18 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:53,159 Speaker 1: these really comfory yogurish pants that I had in my 19 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:54,160 Speaker 1: wardrobe for. 20 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:56,160 Speaker 2: Quite a long time, but I'd actually never worn them. 21 00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 1: So I was like, yeah, it feels like that kind 22 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:02,040 Speaker 1: of day, I feel good for something cute on and 23 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:03,880 Speaker 1: so I put it on with a little crept up, 24 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,039 Speaker 1: and I told myself, you know what, it's just me 25 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,080 Speaker 1: in my own little home gym today. I can wear 26 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:10,800 Speaker 1: whatever I want. Well, the second that I looked in 27 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:12,880 Speaker 1: the mirror, the first thing that I said in my 28 00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:15,640 Speaker 1: mind was I look so chubby in this Why is 29 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:18,160 Speaker 1: my stomach not flat? This top is squeezing and pressing 30 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:21,720 Speaker 1: into my back fat. These pants are highlighting their little 31 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:23,959 Speaker 1: pouch on my stomach that I just can't get rid of. 32 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:27,080 Speaker 1: And basically, within thirty seconds, I'd cust myself out. Like 33 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:30,399 Speaker 1: twenty times, I had said every possible negative thing to 34 00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:33,160 Speaker 1: my body that I could think of, and these old, 35 00:01:33,319 --> 00:01:36,160 Speaker 1: stale thought patterns and beliefs that I thought i'd work 36 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:39,959 Speaker 1: through came to surface. But you know what, in that moment, 37 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,560 Speaker 1: I did something that I wouldn't have usually done in 38 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:45,480 Speaker 1: the past. I actually decided to wear it anyway. I 39 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:47,480 Speaker 1: kind of did it in anger at myself for even 40 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:51,240 Speaker 1: having that reaction. And back then, maybe even like six 41 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:53,520 Speaker 1: months ago, I would have changed into something baggy or 42 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:56,800 Speaker 1: something more flattering in my eyes, and kept those pants on. 43 00:01:56,840 --> 00:01:59,600 Speaker 1: The shelf for a whole other year and then throw 44 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:02,360 Speaker 1: out my work out. I had an hour long conversation 45 00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:06,160 Speaker 1: with myself. I was walking and running, and usually for me, 46 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:08,880 Speaker 1: they are such great places to hear my thoughts and 47 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:11,320 Speaker 1: to just really process things that are going through my mind. 48 00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:13,920 Speaker 1: And I just came to this conclusion that I'm just 49 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:17,480 Speaker 1: so freaking fed up with this constant, deeprooted desire that 50 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:20,239 Speaker 1: I have to be skinny. And I've noticed from conversations 51 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:22,400 Speaker 1: with my friends and things that I read in my 52 00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:25,919 Speaker 1: DMS from people, I realize I don't know one woman 53 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,360 Speaker 1: that doesn't want to change their body in some way. 54 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:30,359 Speaker 1: They don't want to change the body that they're in, 55 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,960 Speaker 1: and I find that so interesting. And I have friends 56 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,519 Speaker 1: who I'm like, oh my god, that's that's my dream body, 57 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 1: and they tell me how much they want to change 58 00:02:38,560 --> 00:02:40,400 Speaker 1: their body. And I feel like it's like this weird 59 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:44,080 Speaker 1: cycle that anybody that you admire they feel uncomfortable in 60 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:47,160 Speaker 1: their body, and then it carries on with whoever they admire, 61 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:51,160 Speaker 1: and it's just a vicious, vicious, constant pattern that we 62 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:54,080 Speaker 1: seem to keep in us, especially as women. And I 63 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:56,640 Speaker 1: actually grew up overweight until I was about sixteen, and 64 00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:59,240 Speaker 1: I just don't think I've ever really shifted that feeling 65 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:02,440 Speaker 1: and this desire to have this flat stomach, to have abs, 66 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:04,640 Speaker 1: to be able to wear whatever I want and not 67 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:07,679 Speaker 1: feel self conscious, having this constant believe that my body 68 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 1: will look better if it has close to no fat 69 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,480 Speaker 1: on it. And I think that I've realized that is 70 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:15,400 Speaker 1: an absolute myth. Now, this isn't me saying that we 71 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:17,959 Speaker 1: shouldn't have esthetic goals or body goals that we want 72 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,080 Speaker 1: to meet, or places that we'd like to be a 73 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,400 Speaker 1: little bit more tone or that we want to work on. 74 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:24,840 Speaker 1: But does it really have to take up so much 75 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:27,200 Speaker 1: of our mind space? I realize that there is such 76 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:30,919 Speaker 1: a difference between caring about your body, looking after it, 77 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:33,960 Speaker 1: thinking about it in a way to improve it, and 78 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,680 Speaker 1: having this obsession about it. And I think that the 79 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:39,839 Speaker 1: line between the two can be really blurred. I think 80 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:43,040 Speaker 1: caring about it looks like thinking about what you're eating. 81 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:45,600 Speaker 1: How is it innourishing me? How am I able to 82 00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:48,200 Speaker 1: move throughout the day, How do I feel in my 83 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:50,080 Speaker 1: own body? How do I feel in my own skin? 84 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:53,480 Speaker 1: And I think obsessing over it is these constant negative 85 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:56,040 Speaker 1: words that we are using for ourselves whenever we look 86 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:58,440 Speaker 1: in the mirror, whenever we're putting something on, and whenever 87 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:01,160 Speaker 1: we're putting things into our mouth, everything relating back to 88 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,720 Speaker 1: our physical appearance. I think that's when it ends up 89 00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:06,440 Speaker 1: becoming obsession rather than care, And always think, why does 90 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:09,000 Speaker 1: this care have to lead us to feeling so much 91 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,480 Speaker 1: self hate that ends up not really being care in 92 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:12,040 Speaker 1: our body? 93 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:13,560 Speaker 2: Does it need to be all. 94 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:15,760 Speaker 1: Consuming or can it just be exactly what it is, 95 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:18,920 Speaker 1: just a thought like all the other tens of thousands 96 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:20,719 Speaker 1: of thoughts that we have in our brain. Can't it 97 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:24,160 Speaker 1: just be a thought that comes in and leaves one 98 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:26,239 Speaker 1: that we don't make a home for in our mind, 99 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:28,480 Speaker 1: one that keeps taking up more and more and more 100 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:31,120 Speaker 1: real estate in our mind for free, and it ends 101 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:34,719 Speaker 1: up leaving no thoughts for anything else, no other positive thoughts. 102 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:37,200 Speaker 1: Because if you're taking up all this room, all this 103 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:40,400 Speaker 1: space in your mind, with all these negative thoughts about yourself, 104 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,080 Speaker 1: where's the room left for anything positive that you feel 105 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:45,000 Speaker 1: about yourself? I feel like I've been working through this 106 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,240 Speaker 1: for a really long time, but I've consciously made an 107 00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:49,919 Speaker 1: effort this year to start working on it again. And 108 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:52,720 Speaker 1: so whenever I get these thoughts. The first question I 109 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:56,120 Speaker 1: ask myself is, so, well, what exactly am I wanting 110 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:59,160 Speaker 1: this for? So? What if I have a little backfat, 111 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:00,760 Speaker 1: what is it that I'm a afraid of? What is 112 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,000 Speaker 1: it that I'm trying to avoid? What do I feel 113 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:05,880 Speaker 1: the repercussions would actually be if someone did see me 114 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,400 Speaker 1: in this or if I look to myself in the 115 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:11,200 Speaker 1: mirror and thought those thoughts of myself. What am I 116 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:13,560 Speaker 1: going to think or what's going to be different in 117 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:15,560 Speaker 1: my life if people see those parts of my body 118 00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:18,160 Speaker 1: that I'm not happy with? Is that really a sign 119 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,480 Speaker 1: of imperfection to me? Because the fact is, if I'm 120 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:22,520 Speaker 1: honest about my own life, I feel like I'm in 121 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,240 Speaker 1: one of the healthiest states that I've ever been in. 122 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:26,080 Speaker 1: I feel like I'm eating well, I've got a better 123 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:29,240 Speaker 1: relationship with food, I'm sleeping better, getting stronger and stronger 124 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:31,760 Speaker 1: in the workouts I'm doing, and my body shows up 125 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:32,840 Speaker 1: for me every single day. 126 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:34,479 Speaker 2: Our bodies show up for us every day. 127 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,280 Speaker 1: So what is it that's holding me to this idea 128 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,400 Speaker 1: of waiting to look a certain way before I can 129 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:41,680 Speaker 1: just love my own body, Waiting to look a certain 130 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:45,440 Speaker 1: way before I believe that I deserve compliments, or stop 131 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:47,719 Speaker 1: batting them away, or believe that I can just put 132 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:50,040 Speaker 1: something on and try to redirect my eyes so it 133 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:52,440 Speaker 1: doesn't constantly just go towards the parts of myself that 134 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:54,400 Speaker 1: I feel subconscious about. And if you think about it, 135 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:56,280 Speaker 1: most of us just end up bullying our bodies out 136 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:58,880 Speaker 1: of habit. It's something that we don't really think about 137 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:03,279 Speaker 1: because it's become son. It's not intentional, it's just become 138 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,719 Speaker 1: a habit. We chase these goals without even thinking where 139 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:07,560 Speaker 1: did it come from, or whether we even still have 140 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:10,960 Speaker 1: that belief. I really do believe that having goals is 141 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:13,799 Speaker 1: such an important thing in life, whether it's physical, mental, 142 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:17,159 Speaker 1: or emotional. And if we don't strive to move forward, 143 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:19,880 Speaker 1: the current will slowly push us backwards. So I think 144 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,760 Speaker 1: having goals and having motivation to be better is so 145 00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:25,880 Speaker 1: necessary and it's such a wonderful thing to have. And 146 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:28,480 Speaker 1: there's also nothing wrong with being mindful about what you eat. 147 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:32,440 Speaker 1: And I think that these two sides of caring for 148 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:35,920 Speaker 1: our body. There's this one side of extreme body positivity 149 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:38,600 Speaker 1: that can be a little bit toxic. Eat what you want, 150 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:41,280 Speaker 1: do what you want, And then there's this other side, 151 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:44,560 Speaker 1: which is almost disordered eating, where every calorie is counted, 152 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:47,600 Speaker 1: and there's this extreme fear of food, which I think 153 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,000 Speaker 1: is becoming more and more apparent lately. 154 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:52,080 Speaker 2: We're living between these two extremes. 155 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:55,000 Speaker 1: Either we just shouldn't care it, or we should care 156 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:57,279 Speaker 1: so much that our whole life is obsessing over it. 157 00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:59,640 Speaker 1: And notice that a lot on the internet too. There's 158 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,320 Speaker 1: one side where it's like, eat everything, never think about 159 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:05,600 Speaker 1: your body, food freedom, And honestly, sometimes that messaging can 160 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:09,080 Speaker 1: get quite toxic too, because when I think about freedom 161 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:12,960 Speaker 1: and our body or freedom of how we're eating, it's 162 00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:15,400 Speaker 1: more that we're not controlled by the food. We're not 163 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:18,520 Speaker 1: controlled by our senses, we're not controlled by other things 164 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:20,880 Speaker 1: except for our desire to nourish our body. And so 165 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:23,600 Speaker 1: as much as we think of eating whatever we want 166 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:27,480 Speaker 1: as being food freedom, actually it's not as it, because 167 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:30,440 Speaker 1: we're being controlled by another thing. We're being controlled by 168 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:32,960 Speaker 1: our own senses, or being controlled by the food that's 169 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,760 Speaker 1: in front of us, and not having the ability to 170 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:37,200 Speaker 1: say no, and not having the ability to think about 171 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:39,600 Speaker 1: our body and how we're actually nourishing it. But then 172 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:42,120 Speaker 1: we move on to the other side, the other extreme, 173 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:45,040 Speaker 1: which is counting every calorie and having this fear of foods, 174 00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:49,400 Speaker 1: punishing workouts, and equating your worth or your discipline to 175 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:51,800 Speaker 1: what you're eating or how your body looks, feeling like 176 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:53,760 Speaker 1: you felt because you ate a dessert that you really 177 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:56,520 Speaker 1: wanted to eat. Both ends of the spectrum end up 178 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,360 Speaker 1: stealing joy, and both ends disconnect you from your body 179 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:01,520 Speaker 1: instead of bringing you back to it. And I think 180 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,680 Speaker 1: that's what you have to think about care as right, Like, 181 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,480 Speaker 1: is it bringing me back to my body or is 182 00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:07,280 Speaker 1: it taking me away from it? Is it making me 183 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 1: understand my body a little bit more or is it 184 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:11,520 Speaker 1: making me punish my body a little bit more? And 185 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,440 Speaker 1: I think most of us are just trying to really 186 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:17,080 Speaker 1: live in this somewhere in between where we care but 187 00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:20,800 Speaker 1: we don't obsess. Where we nourish ourselves, but we don't 188 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:24,000 Speaker 1: punish ourselves for what we're eating and what we're doing, 189 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 1: and where we have goals, but we don't let those 190 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:29,679 Speaker 1: goals become the only lens that we see our worth through. 191 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:32,000 Speaker 1: We're not looking for perfect bodies, we're not looking to 192 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,400 Speaker 1: do whatever we want, We're not looking for extreme discipline. 193 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:36,360 Speaker 1: We just want a bit of peace and contentment and 194 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:39,280 Speaker 1: confidence in our body, a relationship with our body that 195 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:42,040 Speaker 1: feels like kindness and not criticism. And you know what, 196 00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,959 Speaker 1: the real truth about those bodies that we strive for 197 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,839 Speaker 1: is that they take a lot more than the ten 198 00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:50,160 Speaker 1: k steps and a couple of weight workouts a week. 199 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:51,000 Speaker 2: Most of the. 200 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:54,480 Speaker 1: People who have these idealistic bodies that we have in 201 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:57,160 Speaker 1: our mind or that we obsess over, the shredded abs, 202 00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 1: is there a backfat, the carved jawlons, the no jiggle 203 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 1: an you wear physiques. 204 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:03,960 Speaker 2: It is literally their entire life. It's their job. 205 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,880 Speaker 1: They live it, they breathe it, they think about it constantly. 206 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:10,840 Speaker 1: Their food, their sleep, their workouts, their schedule, everything is 207 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:14,280 Speaker 1: focused around that. Everything's built around maintaining that. And that 208 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:17,480 Speaker 1: is absolutely incredible to have that discipline, and there's absolutely 209 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:19,640 Speaker 1: nothing wrong with that at all. But for most of us, 210 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:22,840 Speaker 1: that's not the life that we want, and deep down 211 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:24,880 Speaker 1: we also know it. And I realized, I just don't 212 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:28,120 Speaker 1: want to spend my twenties, thirties, forties, my whole entire 213 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:32,120 Speaker 1: life micromanaging every calorie, obsessing over every angle, and structuring 214 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:34,720 Speaker 1: my entire day around whether my stomach looks flat enough. 215 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:36,360 Speaker 1: I don't want the kind of body that requires me 216 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,560 Speaker 1: to be in a constant mental prison to maintain it. 217 00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:41,080 Speaker 1: I want a body, yes, but I also really want 218 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:44,080 Speaker 1: a life and I love food. And so you're so 219 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:46,920 Speaker 1: much more than just your body and how you look. 220 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,160 Speaker 1: And as much as the world tells you that that 221 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:52,880 Speaker 1: is what's most important, you have to remind yourself every 222 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:55,880 Speaker 1: single day that that is fake ask news. 223 00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:57,160 Speaker 2: So here's a little. 224 00:09:56,920 --> 00:10:00,520 Speaker 1: Hardcore loving reminder that you might need. If to listen 225 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:02,320 Speaker 1: to this, it means that you need a little boost, 226 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:03,360 Speaker 1: and I hope that I. 227 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:05,240 Speaker 2: Can give it to you. You are a woman in. 228 00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:08,800 Speaker 1: This world who has already carried more expectations, more pressure, 229 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:12,839 Speaker 1: more body commentary, and more silent battles than most people 230 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,560 Speaker 1: will ever ever understand. So I just want to remind 231 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:18,440 Speaker 1: you of something that society often makes us forget. Your 232 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:22,960 Speaker 1: body is the least interesting thing about you. Your softness, 233 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:25,800 Speaker 1: your curves, your belly, your cellulate, your back fat. None 234 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:30,560 Speaker 1: of that determines your intelligence, your compassion, your power, your humor, 235 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:33,280 Speaker 1: your resilience, your spirit, your ability to connect to people. 236 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:36,640 Speaker 1: Our worth does not shrink or expand depending on our stomach. 237 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:38,800 Speaker 1: And you are not put on this earth to be 238 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:41,200 Speaker 1: visibly pleasing twenty four to seven, and I think we 239 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:43,160 Speaker 1: forget that. It's like we think that we're in the 240 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:46,680 Speaker 1: world to be a mantle piece or a show piece 241 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,679 Speaker 1: every single time that we walk out into the world, 242 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:50,920 Speaker 1: or we feel like our body is our decoration and 243 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,640 Speaker 1: that we have to show it off. We are whole 244 00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:54,760 Speaker 1: human beings. There's so much more to us than just 245 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:58,560 Speaker 1: the physical body. Actually, I remember reading this in The Vaders. 246 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:01,160 Speaker 1: It talks about how our body body is literally just 247 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:05,439 Speaker 1: composed of matter, where all the different elements that puts 248 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:09,040 Speaker 1: together our physical form, and so there is so much 249 00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:09,439 Speaker 1: more to. 250 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:10,000 Speaker 2: Us than that. 251 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:12,880 Speaker 1: The interesting thing is whenever I and this is getting 252 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:16,720 Speaker 1: a little bit dark for this conversation, but whenever I've 253 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,520 Speaker 1: seen bodies that no longer have life in them, their 254 00:11:19,559 --> 00:11:22,800 Speaker 1: whole physical body looks completely different to what it did before. 255 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:25,640 Speaker 1: And if you think about it, that's because the personality, 256 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:28,839 Speaker 1: the vibrance, the life inside of them is what makes 257 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:32,319 Speaker 1: a person so beautiful. It's what makes a person an 258 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:35,280 Speaker 1: actual human And so yes, looking after a physical body 259 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:37,920 Speaker 1: is of course important, but I want you to remember 260 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:39,679 Speaker 1: that there's so much more to you, and if you're 261 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:41,920 Speaker 1: not remembering that maybe that's a sign that you need 262 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:43,720 Speaker 1: to get to know yourself a little bit more. Maybe 263 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,160 Speaker 1: it's a sign that you need to write down all 264 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:48,240 Speaker 1: these incredible things about yourself. Maybe you need to write 265 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:51,240 Speaker 1: a list that you look over every single morning to 266 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:54,760 Speaker 1: fight against this natural instinct that you have to criticize 267 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:56,920 Speaker 1: your body and remind yourself of what else is it 268 00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:58,840 Speaker 1: that I have to offer? What else is it that 269 00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:01,240 Speaker 1: I have going for me in my life? What else 270 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:03,840 Speaker 1: is say that I love about myself? To counteract all 271 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:05,840 Speaker 1: the negative thoughts that you have going on in your 272 00:12:05,840 --> 00:12:08,120 Speaker 1: mind all the time. And it's so natural for our 273 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,920 Speaker 1: bodies to fluctuate, to soften, to grow, to shift, to bloat, 274 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,720 Speaker 1: to age, because that just means that we're alive, we're human. 275 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:16,200 Speaker 1: And on the days that you actually don't like what 276 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,839 Speaker 1: you see in the mirror and you're feeling a little 277 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:20,680 Speaker 1: bit crappy, try and remember that there are the people 278 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:23,080 Speaker 1: who you see as having the perfect bodies who feel 279 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,240 Speaker 1: really miserable, and some who feel absolutely amazing. 280 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:27,040 Speaker 2: And there are women with bodies. 281 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:32,120 Speaker 1: That society wouldn't class as stereotypically aesthetically pleasing, who walk 282 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:34,600 Speaker 1: into a room like God has sent them in there 283 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:37,920 Speaker 1: with their heads held high in full confidence, and some 284 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,360 Speaker 1: who feel like they want to disappear. And so no 285 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:43,520 Speaker 1: matter what people's bodies shape or sizes, everybody seems to 286 00:12:43,559 --> 00:12:46,319 Speaker 1: have the same feeling. I remember this one situation where 287 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:50,400 Speaker 1: I was in an event and this incredible girl walk 288 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:52,680 Speaker 1: through the door, and I was thinking about what struck 289 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:55,600 Speaker 1: my attention to look at her, and it actually wasn't 290 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,560 Speaker 1: her body, and it wasn't her beautiful hair. It was 291 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:01,240 Speaker 1: actually the way that she had her head held up high, 292 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:04,520 Speaker 1: and she walked in with so much swag and confidence. 293 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:08,000 Speaker 1: And I thought, that makes such a difference. You could 294 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:10,920 Speaker 1: have your dream physical body and walk into a room 295 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,240 Speaker 1: and have your head looking down, be shrunk in your 296 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,679 Speaker 1: body because you don't feel confident in it. And so 297 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:20,920 Speaker 1: I think there's so much more to being attractive, and 298 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:25,040 Speaker 1: there's so much more to being an attractive personality than 299 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:28,160 Speaker 1: just what our body looks like on that day. Over time, 300 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:30,560 Speaker 1: I think I've noticed that whenever I feel confident, I 301 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:34,600 Speaker 1: feel like the cutest person, the sexiest person, the best 302 00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:37,680 Speaker 1: version of myself. When I feel confident in myself, even 303 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:40,240 Speaker 1: if my physical body isn't where it's at And sometimes 304 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:41,880 Speaker 1: I find that even after a workout, you know, when 305 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:44,080 Speaker 1: you've had a hard workout or you've had a week 306 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:46,920 Speaker 1: of hitting your goals, even if you don't see a 307 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,720 Speaker 1: change on the scale, or even if you don't see 308 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:51,480 Speaker 1: a change in the things that you're wearing, you feel 309 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:54,240 Speaker 1: the confidence because you've looked after your body, like your 310 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:56,400 Speaker 1: mind knows that you've looked after it, and then it 311 00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:58,880 Speaker 1: kind of rewards you with this good feeling about yourself. 312 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,080 Speaker 1: So I really want you to stop waiting to love 313 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:02,800 Speaker 1: your body until it looks the way that you think 314 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,720 Speaker 1: it should. And I was talking to my friend yesterday. 315 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:09,160 Speaker 1: It was really interesting. We were getting some skincare treatments 316 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:12,880 Speaker 1: done together, and we were sitting around the table and 317 00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:15,120 Speaker 1: he was telling me about all the different things that 318 00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:17,400 Speaker 1: he wants to get done to do with his face, 319 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:20,040 Speaker 1: and you know, I could see a real sense of 320 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:23,320 Speaker 1: fear in his face about getting older. He was really 321 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:27,520 Speaker 1: worried about his skin looking older, his body looking older. 322 00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:31,240 Speaker 1: And I've thought about my grandma in that situation, and 323 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,760 Speaker 1: it was such a beautiful realization that I got to 324 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,680 Speaker 1: have while I spent time with her. I have spent 325 00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:39,320 Speaker 1: my whole life watching her being around her, and I 326 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:43,320 Speaker 1: realized that I've never once in my entire life heard 327 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:47,000 Speaker 1: her talk negatively about her body, and whether it was 328 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:49,040 Speaker 1: when she was getting ready, whether it was when she 329 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:51,280 Speaker 1: was looking in the mirror while I was doing her 330 00:14:51,280 --> 00:14:54,200 Speaker 1: hair for her, throughout her whole life, from what I 331 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,080 Speaker 1: can remember, there was not once where she said, do 332 00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:59,160 Speaker 1: I look fat in this? Do I look gross in this? 333 00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,920 Speaker 1: There's this color an ice on me? Like she really 334 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:05,280 Speaker 1: wasn't focused on her appearance at all. And I can't 335 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,200 Speaker 1: remember the last person that I've ever thought of that 336 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:11,280 Speaker 1: I've experienced to be like that. And so I remember 337 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:13,200 Speaker 1: even when she would brush her teeth, I think that 338 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:15,080 Speaker 1: would be the only time she would look at herself 339 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,960 Speaker 1: in the mirror, and maybe at night when she brushed 340 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,880 Speaker 1: her teeth again, apart from that, or maybe if she 341 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,440 Speaker 1: was going out or something and she had to do 342 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:24,760 Speaker 1: her hair, but she wouldn't spend prolonged periods looking at herself. 343 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,040 Speaker 1: She just didn't do that. I remember she even got 344 00:15:27,040 --> 00:15:29,520 Speaker 1: these things on her arm, which were like these big 345 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:31,880 Speaker 1: nodules on her arm, and it wasn't harmful, it was 346 00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:34,840 Speaker 1: just esthetically something that had happened to her and I 347 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:36,720 Speaker 1: had to say, what is that on your arm? For 348 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:38,760 Speaker 1: her to even think of it as something that was 349 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:41,160 Speaker 1: wrong with her. She just saw it as part of aging. 350 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,720 Speaker 1: She sawt it something that she embraced as time went on. 351 00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:47,840 Speaker 1: And so that's always been such a beautiful reminder to 352 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:51,120 Speaker 1: me every single day where I'm like, actually, the goal 353 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:55,280 Speaker 1: is to just appreciate life and age gracefully. The point 354 00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:57,920 Speaker 1: is to just appreciate our body for what it does 355 00:15:57,960 --> 00:15:59,680 Speaker 1: for us. She may not have looked in the mirror 356 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:01,200 Speaker 1: every day, but what she did do is thank her 357 00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:05,120 Speaker 1: body every single day in her prayer. She would thank 358 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:06,000 Speaker 1: God for her body. 359 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:07,840 Speaker 2: In her prayer. She would thank God for her eyes, for. 360 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,920 Speaker 1: Her ability to hear, for her ability to walk, for 361 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:14,000 Speaker 1: her mouth to still be able to pray. That's what 362 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,360 Speaker 1: she cared about, Like, let my physical body be able 363 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,920 Speaker 1: to help me in service to others, in service to God. 364 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:22,240 Speaker 1: Let my body be able to still help me look 365 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:24,000 Speaker 1: after people and nourish them and. 366 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:24,600 Speaker 2: Cook for them. 367 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:28,080 Speaker 1: And I was like, wow, imagine, of course we're never 368 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:29,760 Speaker 1: going to be able to take these thoughts away completely. 369 00:16:29,760 --> 00:16:31,800 Speaker 1: We probably won't be able to because the fact is 370 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:33,680 Speaker 1: we look in the mirror way more and we see 371 00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:36,280 Speaker 1: ourselves way more than people used to back in the day. 372 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:38,920 Speaker 1: And I feel like she really protected that part of 373 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:41,800 Speaker 1: her life, whether she did it consciously or not. And 374 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:43,840 Speaker 1: we may not have that completely, but what we can 375 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:46,400 Speaker 1: do is be conscious about these are the thoughts that 376 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:47,160 Speaker 1: are going through my head. 377 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,360 Speaker 2: So how can I counteract them? How can I not 378 00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:50,920 Speaker 2: let them take up too much space? 379 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:54,160 Speaker 1: And what can I do and say to myself to 380 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,120 Speaker 1: help rewire those thoughts? 381 00:16:56,160 --> 00:16:57,000 Speaker 2: Because we can. 382 00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:59,480 Speaker 1: We can rewire everything that our brain thinks and all 383 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:02,040 Speaker 1: the patterns that we've created in our mind that can change. 384 00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:04,600 Speaker 1: And so what is the process I'm going to go 385 00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:06,720 Speaker 1: through to do that? And I was also thinking about 386 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:09,720 Speaker 1: how I would want others to feel around me once 387 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:11,479 Speaker 1: I get older, and it obviously it takes a lot 388 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:13,120 Speaker 1: of work to get to that point. It's like, when 389 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:17,280 Speaker 1: I'm fifty, sixty, seventy eighty years old, do I want 390 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:20,639 Speaker 1: my children, my grandchildren, the people that meet me to 391 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:23,639 Speaker 1: feel that energy from me? Or do I want to 392 00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:28,680 Speaker 1: not work through these things and be conscious of everything constantly, 393 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,159 Speaker 1: be looking at myself in a way that's negative and 394 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,359 Speaker 1: then passing that down to other people, passing that on 395 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:35,879 Speaker 1: to other people. So I don't think it's your body 396 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:38,200 Speaker 1: that's holding me back. I actually think it's just your 397 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,879 Speaker 1: belief about your body. And the only way to be 398 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:44,399 Speaker 1: able to become confident is to build confidence in your 399 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:47,280 Speaker 1: perception of yourself. It's going to be really hard to 400 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:50,040 Speaker 1: walk into a room confidently if just before that you 401 00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:52,680 Speaker 1: were cussing yourself out, that ends up feeling such a 402 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,280 Speaker 1: disconnect in your alignment, and people can really feel that 403 00:17:55,359 --> 00:17:57,480 Speaker 1: in your energy. So if you're telling yourself and you're 404 00:17:57,520 --> 00:18:00,560 Speaker 1: hyping yourself up beforehand, it's literally like had been your 405 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:02,560 Speaker 1: own hype woman. You have to tell yourself so many 406 00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:04,919 Speaker 1: good things about yourself before you walk into somewhere, and 407 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:07,360 Speaker 1: then people can notice that in your energy without even 408 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,879 Speaker 1: having to say a word. But your thoughts and your 409 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,160 Speaker 1: beliefs have to align with the confidence that you're trying 410 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:15,159 Speaker 1: to feel and express. So I think the main thing 411 00:18:15,240 --> 00:18:17,080 Speaker 1: is really thinking about the language that we're using when 412 00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:19,160 Speaker 1: we're talking to ourselves, and so how do you fix 413 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:22,120 Speaker 1: your belief about who you are? You figure out where 414 00:18:22,119 --> 00:18:24,920 Speaker 1: these insecurities and this idea of your perfect body has 415 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:27,480 Speaker 1: come from, whether it's from your past, but also in 416 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:28,320 Speaker 1: your daily present. 417 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:28,600 Speaker 2: Too. 418 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:31,480 Speaker 1: Most of our body in securities they're not even ours, 419 00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:34,200 Speaker 1: they're ones that were handed to us. Someone else made 420 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,680 Speaker 1: a comment, or someone else made a joke, someone else 421 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,840 Speaker 1: at the standard, and someone else created this image of 422 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:41,679 Speaker 1: what a good body looks like, and we've just been 423 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:44,800 Speaker 1: trying to mold ourselves into that ever since. I still 424 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:46,879 Speaker 1: think about all the random things that people used to 425 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:48,520 Speaker 1: say to me when I was younger, And it's not 426 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:51,639 Speaker 1: that I still believe them, but I still have a 427 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:53,639 Speaker 1: strong memory of the things that were said to me. 428 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:57,800 Speaker 1: I remember once it was like in school and we 429 00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,320 Speaker 1: had a geography lesson or something, and for some reason, 430 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,879 Speaker 1: Bosnia was brought up, and then some of the boys 431 00:19:03,920 --> 00:19:06,040 Speaker 1: in my school started calling me Bosnia and I was like, 432 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:08,520 Speaker 1: I wonder why they're calling me that, And then eventually 433 00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:10,800 Speaker 1: I found out it was because we read about them 434 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:12,600 Speaker 1: and not having enough food in Bosnia, and they were 435 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,439 Speaker 1: saying that I'd eaten all of it, and so I 436 00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:17,480 Speaker 1: was like, okay, this the fact that that even stays 437 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:19,400 Speaker 1: in my mind, and now I laugh about it because 438 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,679 Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, silly little young boys. But at the 439 00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:24,960 Speaker 1: same time, think about all the things that have stuck 440 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:27,000 Speaker 1: in your mind from when you were younger, like all 441 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:30,080 Speaker 1: the little comments, all the tiny little things that are 442 00:19:30,119 --> 00:19:31,800 Speaker 1: still in the back of your mind that could be 443 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:34,399 Speaker 1: impacting how you're looking at yourself in the mirror every 444 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:35,040 Speaker 1: single day. 445 00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:36,040 Speaker 2: And that's the thing. 446 00:19:36,119 --> 00:19:38,400 Speaker 1: If you really stripped all of that away, without all 447 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:43,360 Speaker 1: that noise, your body is just your body. It's just neutral, functional, alive. 448 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,240 Speaker 1: It's the one thing that I've shown up for you 449 00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:47,720 Speaker 1: every single day. And I'm not saying you have to 450 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,040 Speaker 1: suddenly love your body after this. You just need to 451 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,640 Speaker 1: stop attacking it. So that's really step one. It's like, Okay, 452 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:55,160 Speaker 1: I'm not telling myself I have to love it adore it, 453 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,040 Speaker 1: but let me just stop saying all those things to 454 00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:00,439 Speaker 1: myself to start with, and stop watching or consuming content 455 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:02,720 Speaker 1: that really feeds this narrative that you no longer want 456 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:06,160 Speaker 1: to believe. Notice who you're following online. If every woman 457 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,520 Speaker 1: that you follow looks like a filtered version of the 458 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:11,320 Speaker 1: same body type, your brain thinks. 459 00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:11,959 Speaker 2: That that is normal. 460 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,879 Speaker 1: So curate your feed as much as you can. Because 461 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:17,280 Speaker 1: we spend a lot of time online and so what 462 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:20,520 Speaker 1: we're seeing is slowly going into our subconscious to follow 463 00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:25,400 Speaker 1: strong women, soft women, different types of bodies, non retouched images. 464 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,400 Speaker 1: Your brain needs diversity or it will end up punishing 465 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:30,200 Speaker 1: this version of yourself that you live in because you 466 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,479 Speaker 1: don't look like everything that you're showing it. Loving your 467 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:34,520 Speaker 1: body might be a lifetime thing, but you can start 468 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:37,320 Speaker 1: respecting it today. So stop letting the mirror set the 469 00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:39,879 Speaker 1: tone of your day. The mirror should be information. It 470 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:41,960 Speaker 1: should not be a verdict on how you should spend 471 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:43,520 Speaker 1: the rest of your day or how you should think 472 00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:43,800 Speaker 1: for the. 473 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:44,480 Speaker 2: Rest of your day. 474 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:46,320 Speaker 1: And if looking in the mirror first thing in the 475 00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:48,520 Speaker 1: morning ruins your mood, stop looking at it first thing 476 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,680 Speaker 1: in the morning. You're allowed to delay looking in the 477 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:54,040 Speaker 1: mirror until you are regulated, until you're fed, until you're hydrated, 478 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:56,960 Speaker 1: and until you've had a moment to set the tone 479 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,520 Speaker 1: for your day. Try and create a life where you're 480 00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:02,800 Speaker 1: peering is the least interesting part of your day. And 481 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,840 Speaker 1: so instead of asking your body, how do I look, 482 00:21:04,920 --> 00:21:06,920 Speaker 1: ask it what do you need right now? In most days, 483 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:09,119 Speaker 1: your body will probably just say something incredibly simple like 484 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:12,920 Speaker 1: water or rest or movement or stretching or breath or comfort. 485 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:15,560 Speaker 1: And when you start responding to your needs instead of 486 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:20,480 Speaker 1: criticizing your appearance, everything really does shift. And lastly, where 487 00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:23,000 Speaker 1: that outfit that you want to wear anyway? Don't keep 488 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,280 Speaker 1: things in your water for when and what if? Sometimes 489 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:29,200 Speaker 1: the healing ends up being in rebellion against all those thoughts. 490 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,480 Speaker 1: I'm not changing my clothes because my insecurity told me 491 00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:32,320 Speaker 1: to wear. 492 00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:33,600 Speaker 2: The outfit, do the workout. 493 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:36,880 Speaker 1: And then you realize that you've actually pushed past a 494 00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:39,320 Speaker 1: barrier or a boundary that you've created in your mind. 495 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:40,800 Speaker 1: And so I really hope that this helped you a 496 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:43,600 Speaker 1: little bit and gaining a little bit more perspective and 497 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:47,159 Speaker 1: also into little things that you could do every single 498 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:50,360 Speaker 1: day to start shifting towards loving your body more than 499 00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:55,359 Speaker 1: disliking it, to appreciating it more than constantly criticizing it. 500 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:59,080 Speaker 1: And I hope that in a couple of years down 501 00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:02,639 Speaker 1: the line, or hopefully even across the next few weeks, 502 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:05,840 Speaker 1: you end up shifting the way that you speak to 503 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:09,840 Speaker 1: yourself from morning tonight. Sending your so much love, and 504 00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:12,240 Speaker 1: I hope you have such a wonderful, confident week ahead 505 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:12,439 Speaker 1: of you.