1 00:00:01,520 --> 00:00:06,120 Speaker 1: Every day. Click up the Breakfast Club, finish for y'all. 2 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:06,560 Speaker 2: Done. 3 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:08,760 Speaker 3: Yes, it's the world's most dangerous morning to show the 4 00:00:08,800 --> 00:00:11,840 Speaker 3: Breakfast Club, Charlamagne, the God DJ Envy just hilarious. 5 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 1: They're not here today, but Lauren. 6 00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:16,040 Speaker 3: Lero says in and we have a special guest, the 7 00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:18,279 Speaker 3: author of the new book. And then came the Blues, 8 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:20,800 Speaker 3: My story of survival on both sides of the Badge, 9 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,160 Speaker 3: A memoir Katrina brown Lee is here. 10 00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:25,960 Speaker 1: How are you? 11 00:00:26,079 --> 00:00:28,640 Speaker 3: I am blessed Black and Holly favors. You have a 12 00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:31,120 Speaker 3: hell of a story. Where do you want to begin? 13 00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:34,919 Speaker 1: Wherever you want to do well? 14 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:38,280 Speaker 3: The memoir tells the story of you being shot ten 15 00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:43,560 Speaker 3: times and overcoming the domestic violence. What helped you find 16 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:45,519 Speaker 3: the courage to not only write this book, but just 17 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:47,720 Speaker 3: to keep fighting for your life and I guess for 18 00:00:47,760 --> 00:00:48,800 Speaker 3: your future as well. 19 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:58,400 Speaker 2: Oh gosh, the first thing I say it was God, faith, God, therapy, 20 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:02,920 Speaker 2: and my children. That's what kept me fighting. That's all 21 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:07,800 Speaker 2: I had was nothing else to even look at to say, 22 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:10,440 Speaker 2: you know what I want to fight? Like when you 23 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:13,920 Speaker 2: in survival mode, it's survival. You out there in the 24 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:19,360 Speaker 2: wilderness all by yourself, and you just trying to figure 25 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 2: it out as you go along. 26 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:24,959 Speaker 4: The tagline of the book is my story of survival 27 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:28,320 Speaker 4: on both sides of the badge talk about, you know, 28 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:30,600 Speaker 4: just the choice to make that the tagline, because there 29 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:32,480 Speaker 4: was one point where you were keeping what you were 30 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:35,600 Speaker 4: going through personally, the violenceeer were experiencing in your work 31 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,200 Speaker 4: as a police officer separate. 32 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:41,760 Speaker 2: So in terms you're speaking in terms of what does 33 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 2: the badge on both sides? I mean, yes, oh, badge 34 00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:49,000 Speaker 2: on both sides mean my life of me being abused. 35 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:52,920 Speaker 2: I wasn't just abused in terms of a domestic violence relationship. 36 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:55,440 Speaker 2: And the book it also speaks about how I was 37 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:59,560 Speaker 2: a child abused, child abuse, sexual abused, So I speak 38 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,800 Speaker 2: about that, and then I speak about the fact of 39 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:06,680 Speaker 2: me being a detective, being a police officer. So it's 40 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:08,200 Speaker 2: badges on both sides. 41 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:12,080 Speaker 3: And your ex fiance was a seal, correct, and so 42 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:15,160 Speaker 3: he basically used to abuse his power, correct, put his 43 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:19,400 Speaker 3: hands on your flash his badge and threaten you, you know, 44 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:21,079 Speaker 3: on speaking up right. 45 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,360 Speaker 2: I was the inmate and he was the correction officer 46 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:25,160 Speaker 2: at home. That's how it was. 47 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:27,960 Speaker 1: Damn. 48 00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:31,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's pretty tough. What was it like for you? 49 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:34,880 Speaker 4: Day to day at work, you know, just with everything 50 00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:36,680 Speaker 4: that you were experiencing being able to then deal with 51 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:39,560 Speaker 4: other people's issues and showing up for other people, Like, 52 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:41,160 Speaker 4: what was that like mentally for you? 53 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:48,119 Speaker 2: It was so heavy for so many years because every 54 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:50,160 Speaker 2: day that you go to work, you never know that 55 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:55,800 Speaker 2: if somebody is going to recognize you or remember your story. 56 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:58,480 Speaker 2: Because a few people did, you know, know my story. 57 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,680 Speaker 2: It did make the news because at the time he 58 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:04,720 Speaker 2: was a correction officer, So my name was Katrina Cook 59 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:08,760 Speaker 2: at that time, and so it's Brown Lee. So a 60 00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:11,240 Speaker 2: lot of people didn't put two and two together. And 61 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:15,400 Speaker 2: then when my story came out, a lot of people 62 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 2: began to reach out to me. So it was just 63 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:25,280 Speaker 2: like a real difficult time just to work, and especially 64 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:30,680 Speaker 2: work in the police department and with how can I 65 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:32,680 Speaker 2: say it, not for but you know, work for an 66 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:37,840 Speaker 2: organization that had failed me. So I went in with 67 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:40,920 Speaker 2: the mindset of that I was going to change this 68 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,720 Speaker 2: department and I was going to be this good cop. 69 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:47,320 Speaker 2: But then when you go in you realize that this 70 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:51,920 Speaker 2: is bigger than you. You ain't changing this. You're gonna 71 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:54,920 Speaker 2: follow the rules or deal with the consequence. 72 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:57,360 Speaker 4: I guess that was my question, Like just in everything 73 00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:59,120 Speaker 4: that you were dealt with then deciding to go and 74 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:02,800 Speaker 4: be a part of force, It's like it's so much 75 00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:05,320 Speaker 4: that you can't change, but you get there to change it, Like, 76 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:07,240 Speaker 4: but you're also still dealing with your own stuff mentally. 77 00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:10,680 Speaker 4: I just maybe my question is why, Like why did 78 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:12,840 Speaker 4: you think that you could break that system down. 79 00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,440 Speaker 2: Because of all the pain that I had went through, 80 00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:21,359 Speaker 2: everything that I had endured, Like, who was gonna save me? 81 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:24,000 Speaker 2: They couldn't. They couldn't save me, So I just try 82 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:27,400 Speaker 2: to save myself. Got you. 83 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:30,760 Speaker 3: When you when you would call the police and you know, 84 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:33,040 Speaker 3: he would flash his badge and then the officers would 85 00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:36,560 Speaker 3: would would leave. Did that just make you feel hopeless? 86 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,160 Speaker 3: Like how did you think he was gonna get out 87 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:38,679 Speaker 3: that situation? 88 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:43,720 Speaker 2: I'm to be honest with you. It was gonna either 89 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,800 Speaker 2: be me or him, That's how bad it was getting. 90 00:04:47,680 --> 00:04:52,240 Speaker 2: And the only reason what kept me from either killing 91 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:57,479 Speaker 2: myself killing him was my children because I was like, 92 00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:59,240 Speaker 2: my kids gonna be motherless. 93 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:04,480 Speaker 3: And I guess you know, Lauren was was was getting 94 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:06,160 Speaker 3: at this. But I guess what I want to ask, 95 00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 3: how did that betrayal from the police shape your decision 96 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:13,279 Speaker 3: to enter law enforcement yourself, mad. 97 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:14,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, I wouldn't want to, but I wouldn't want to 98 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:15,240 Speaker 1: be no cop. 99 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:18,320 Speaker 3: Like because you you call it a blue wall of signs, 100 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:19,839 Speaker 3: we all call it the blue wall, but now you 101 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:21,159 Speaker 3: another brick on that wall. 102 00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:26,520 Speaker 2: To try to answer your question, like I said, like 103 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:30,440 Speaker 2: for me, I needed to be able to be protected. 104 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,479 Speaker 2: So in order for me to be protected, I had 105 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:36,000 Speaker 2: to that was one of the ways to be protected. 106 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:39,120 Speaker 2: Like I'm gonna go in and I'm gonna because if 107 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:43,000 Speaker 2: I'm a cop, he they didn't give them a long sentence, 108 00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 2: so he's coming out, So is he gonna come out 109 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:48,000 Speaker 2: and finish the job. But if I'm a cop, well 110 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:49,880 Speaker 2: is he not going to do that? He's not going 111 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:53,520 Speaker 2: to behave that way right? And then my thing was, 112 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,719 Speaker 2: I want to go in and I want to be 113 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:58,560 Speaker 2: able to shape. I want to clean this place up. 114 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:02,920 Speaker 2: Like I had this mindset because I just believe that 115 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,159 Speaker 2: I can go in there, I can change, because I 116 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:08,440 Speaker 2: wanted change because I could not believe that you would 117 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,880 Speaker 2: see me with a black eye, you would see me 118 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:13,360 Speaker 2: with a busted lit and you would just say work 119 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:16,719 Speaker 2: it out or you wouldn't even you wouldn't even address me, 120 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,880 Speaker 2: and I'm standing there, you don't say anything to me. 121 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:23,839 Speaker 2: But because he showed his shield, he had the right 122 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:26,240 Speaker 2: to what he did. 123 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:29,560 Speaker 4: What's it like, because we hear a lot about like 124 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:32,839 Speaker 4: when women are in these situations, there's this pattern of 125 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:35,640 Speaker 4: almost feeling like sorry for the person that is abusing 126 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:37,719 Speaker 4: you were like just some sort of like savior, like 127 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:40,520 Speaker 4: you want to save them from like whatever the consequence 128 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:42,360 Speaker 4: may be, because you're trying to figure out like why 129 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:43,960 Speaker 4: it's happening or whatever the case may be. I know 130 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,880 Speaker 4: he had tried to call and reach out to you 131 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,400 Speaker 4: to have you say he didn't do certain things. Was 132 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,680 Speaker 4: there ever a moment where you thought like it would 133 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:52,400 Speaker 4: be best for me to just be quiet about this. 134 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:57,400 Speaker 2: Oh? Absolutely, because I because he was a soul Pavida 135 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:01,680 Speaker 2: fire household. So I thought about it. I was like, 136 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:04,800 Speaker 2: now he in jail, Like I'm gonna take care of myself. 137 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:08,560 Speaker 2: So I became homeless. So I thought about it. But 138 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:11,040 Speaker 2: then I just said to myself, now I'm not doing that, 139 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:13,800 Speaker 2: Like I'm not gonna do that, like it's gonna be 140 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:17,560 Speaker 2: it's whatever at this point. And so you know, and 141 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,480 Speaker 2: I speak about it in the book. You know how 142 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:23,760 Speaker 2: his mom had written a letter and shot my name 143 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,880 Speaker 2: and said that I had shot myself ten times. 144 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:31,760 Speaker 1: What How difficult is it to have these conversations? 145 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:33,840 Speaker 3: I mean, because you know when I when I see 146 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:36,120 Speaker 3: your story, and you know, there's certain things I want 147 00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:39,120 Speaker 3: to ask, I don't want to trigger you. So how 148 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:41,480 Speaker 3: difficult is it to have these conversations? 149 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:42,480 Speaker 2: You can ask me whatever? 150 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:43,200 Speaker 1: Okay? 151 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:46,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, if this is if this is a safe space, 152 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,120 Speaker 2: you can yeah. 153 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:49,080 Speaker 1: I mean just talking about it. 154 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 3: And you know you got to relive it because you 155 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:51,880 Speaker 3: had to rewrite, you know, you had to write the book. 156 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:54,400 Speaker 3: And then you know, now you ask me being asked questions. 157 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:56,560 Speaker 3: But you know you were shot ten times and you 158 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:58,880 Speaker 3: were left for dead while you were five months pregnant, 159 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:00,840 Speaker 3: and they said they went it went on for an 160 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:01,840 Speaker 3: hour and a half. 161 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:04,720 Speaker 2: I don't I don't know how long it went on, 162 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:08,840 Speaker 2: honestly because I was in and out of consciousns. I 163 00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,400 Speaker 2: don't know. I just you know that part was told 164 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:14,240 Speaker 2: to me by the day by the Ada, who now 165 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:15,760 Speaker 2: is one of my good friends. 166 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:21,000 Speaker 3: How did you rebuild your identity after all of this happened, 167 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,960 Speaker 3: after being homeless, after you know, having to break down 168 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:27,080 Speaker 3: after being shot and left for dead, Like, how did 169 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:30,840 Speaker 3: you just rebuild your identity even become the detective that 170 00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:32,320 Speaker 3: you became and you were part of the mayor of 171 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:33,120 Speaker 3: security detailers. 172 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:38,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot, a lot, a lot of therapy, a 173 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:41,679 Speaker 2: lot of therapy and a lot of God that that 174 00:08:41,679 --> 00:08:46,920 Speaker 2: that is what helped me and just the will that 175 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:50,320 Speaker 2: God had given me to just want to live. And 176 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:53,480 Speaker 2: when you get the will to live, then it's that 177 00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:56,360 Speaker 2: light on the wall right there up in the ceiling, 178 00:08:56,360 --> 00:08:59,520 Speaker 2: and you follow that light and you low that light 179 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:03,280 Speaker 2: to continue to go and that's your strength and that's 180 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:08,520 Speaker 2: your power and then you get your power back. And 181 00:09:08,559 --> 00:09:11,400 Speaker 2: so that's what it was for me, because that's all 182 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:11,920 Speaker 2: I had. 183 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:14,480 Speaker 1: Do you truly forgive somebody when they do something that 184 00:09:14,559 --> 00:09:15,080 Speaker 1: hangs to you. 185 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:18,680 Speaker 2: I had to because I was angry. I was so bitter. 186 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:23,360 Speaker 2: I was bitter. And when you better at that. 187 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:29,560 Speaker 1: Level, who is some tissue brand. 188 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:38,200 Speaker 2: When you better at that level, thank you. If you 189 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:43,640 Speaker 2: do not forgive, you become a product of that. And 190 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:47,640 Speaker 2: I just did not want to be that. I was 191 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:53,720 Speaker 2: broken long enough. And in order for you to get 192 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:57,880 Speaker 2: into a situation like that, it had to be a 193 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:01,800 Speaker 2: story that happened. We don't. We don't wake up and 194 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:08,080 Speaker 2: get into these relationships. So I came from transgenerational trauma, 195 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,520 Speaker 2: and that's how I wind up in a situation where 196 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:16,360 Speaker 2: a man shoots me ten times and abuse me. 197 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,360 Speaker 4: Talk a bit about the chapter Until we Meet Again. 198 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:26,080 Speaker 4: We talk about your mom, and you talk about just 199 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,120 Speaker 4: you know, how everything that you went through made you 200 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:30,040 Speaker 4: treat just being able to wake up and live every 201 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,520 Speaker 4: single day. Why was it important for you to include 202 00:10:32,559 --> 00:10:33,920 Speaker 4: that chapter in the book. 203 00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:40,920 Speaker 2: I did not have a relationship with my mother, so 204 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:47,240 Speaker 2: when she died, it was like I got robbed, like 205 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:51,800 Speaker 2: totally robbed, and I will never know what it feels 206 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:55,640 Speaker 2: like to have a mother. So I just felt that 207 00:10:55,720 --> 00:11:00,600 Speaker 2: it was important to just speak about that because I 208 00:11:00,640 --> 00:11:02,440 Speaker 2: know that I'm not the only one that's out there, 209 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:05,480 Speaker 2: and this book is not just for me. It's for 210 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:11,600 Speaker 2: all people that can be able to relate to my story. 211 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:15,760 Speaker 2: And I just hope that it inspired people. I hope 212 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:19,120 Speaker 2: it can change people life, and I just hope that 213 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:24,760 Speaker 2: even for people that are abuses, that they can go 214 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:29,439 Speaker 2: get help because abuses, they're broken and mental health is real. 215 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:35,840 Speaker 3: What was the emotional turning point in the writing process 216 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:38,120 Speaker 3: of this book that that just made you feel like 217 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:39,160 Speaker 3: a little lighter. 218 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:43,840 Speaker 2: Because I wasn't able to really tell the story. I 219 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,600 Speaker 2: wasn't it. So it was like this was so it 220 00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:51,040 Speaker 2: was like I'm finally getting everything out now, Like it 221 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:57,960 Speaker 2: was like I'm being honest, like being constipated, like for 222 00:11:57,640 --> 00:12:00,960 Speaker 2: for so many years, I get that up there, you 223 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,640 Speaker 2: got right there. Then you go right there that part, 224 00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:07,400 Speaker 2: and so that's what I'm telling you. That's exactly how 225 00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:11,800 Speaker 2: I felt, and it felt so good, and it feels 226 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:14,680 Speaker 2: good to be able to now be able to speak 227 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:18,000 Speaker 2: my truth and be able to tell the story. Even 228 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:19,880 Speaker 2: I had friends that I had been friends with for 229 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:23,760 Speaker 2: so many years that didn't even know my story. So 230 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:26,240 Speaker 2: you sit out with your girlfriends, you hang out with them, 231 00:12:26,320 --> 00:12:28,760 Speaker 2: you travel with them, and they don't even know who 232 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:35,640 Speaker 2: you really are, and you live in this bubble this 233 00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:40,280 Speaker 2: world because you you can't really tell because if I 234 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:43,720 Speaker 2: would have told and somebody told the police department, they 235 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:47,680 Speaker 2: were to find me because they wouldn't have want that stigma. 236 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:52,080 Speaker 3: When you became an officer that you have more empathy 237 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:55,360 Speaker 3: for law enforcement, Like did you realize why they were 238 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:56,040 Speaker 3: the way they were? 239 00:12:56,200 --> 00:13:01,000 Speaker 2: Oh? Absolutely, Okay, let me tell you something that people 240 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:05,880 Speaker 2: don't know. The cops, they get abused by the higher 241 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:11,960 Speaker 2: upstare they get I'm telling you, they get abused. So 242 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:16,400 Speaker 2: if you that's just like if you abuse your child, right, 243 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:20,600 Speaker 2: a lot of times your child becomes an abuser. So 244 00:13:20,679 --> 00:13:23,960 Speaker 2: that's all it is. They don't get treated well there. 245 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:27,160 Speaker 2: So now if I'm not getting treated well, I'm gonna 246 00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:29,079 Speaker 2: go out here and protecting serf. I'm gonna go out 247 00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:31,559 Speaker 2: there and protect and be kind to people when I'm 248 00:13:31,559 --> 00:13:35,719 Speaker 2: not even being kind at home. The police, that's your home, right, 249 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:40,320 Speaker 2: You there to protecting serf. You there and to go 250 00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:44,520 Speaker 2: out there and do your job. But if you if 251 00:13:44,559 --> 00:13:47,079 Speaker 2: you're being beat down and you're being told you're a loser, 252 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:49,640 Speaker 2: and you're being told that you ain't right enough summonsens 253 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:54,480 Speaker 2: or you ain't lock enough people up, and then you 254 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:57,000 Speaker 2: get in trouble and if you tell and if you snitch, 255 00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:01,440 Speaker 2: the consequences. So how can you go out there and 256 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:02,480 Speaker 2: really be effective? 257 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:06,760 Speaker 4: What about the stuff that you were seeing aside, like 258 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:09,560 Speaker 4: you talked about like the Chocolate team and the Vanilla team. Yeah, 259 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,640 Speaker 4: and the different neighborhoods they would go to. That's right, 260 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,959 Speaker 4: And it's well, I guess you should explain it for people, 261 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:17,280 Speaker 4: the difference between the teams. And then I wanted to 262 00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:19,600 Speaker 4: ask you about you going to your boss and saying, hey, 263 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,200 Speaker 4: they're doing the legal searches. You need to figure that out. 264 00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:23,400 Speaker 4: And the boss was like, I'm cool. 265 00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:26,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, the chocolate team for the black team, and the 266 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:30,479 Speaker 2: vanilla team was the Caucasian team. 267 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:31,600 Speaker 4: And they went to So like, y'all are in different 268 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,880 Speaker 4: neighborhoods or whatever. You decide to you see something that 269 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,400 Speaker 4: you know is not right, you decide to go to 270 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,920 Speaker 4: your higher up, your higher upsets. I'm not disturbing my 271 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,880 Speaker 4: pension to correct a bad cop. 272 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:43,680 Speaker 2: Right because a lot of times if you would tell 273 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:49,960 Speaker 2: its consequences, it's real. It is really real, and this 274 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:53,240 Speaker 2: is your life. You're talking about cops kill theyself all 275 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,800 Speaker 2: the time, where you think they killing they self for 276 00:14:56,880 --> 00:15:01,240 Speaker 2: a killing they self because because they ain't getting enough 277 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:04,120 Speaker 2: money or enough love. They're killing theirself because it's rail 278 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:07,360 Speaker 2: in there, a lot of guilt and they can't be 279 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:09,720 Speaker 2: who they want to be. They can't be their authentic 280 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,680 Speaker 2: self there, so they got to be somebody else and 281 00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:17,320 Speaker 2: sometimes people can't handle that. Everybody mental health level is different. 282 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:20,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, I've been having that conversation a lot lately. Like, 283 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:25,080 Speaker 3: you know, I feel like police officers should have, uh 284 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:28,000 Speaker 3: should have to deal with mental health professionals, like literally 285 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:31,040 Speaker 3: every year, every week, Like they should be sitting down 286 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:32,200 Speaker 3: with mental health professionals. 287 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:37,560 Speaker 2: Yeah. Absolutely, Yeah, they have some hotline called Popper, But 288 00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:40,320 Speaker 2: I don't even think that those are those are people 289 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:44,240 Speaker 2: that are actually equipped to be able to deal with 290 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:48,600 Speaker 2: the trauma that police officers face every day. That should 291 00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:52,000 Speaker 2: be you. You make sure that it's mandatory training for 292 00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:54,920 Speaker 2: all these other different things that don't really matter, But 293 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:58,120 Speaker 2: why you don't have mandatory mental health training for your 294 00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:00,960 Speaker 2: police officers so they can be suited and booted and 295 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:04,480 Speaker 2: in a good mental state to be out there to 296 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:06,960 Speaker 2: go out there to fight and be able to really 297 00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:10,120 Speaker 2: protect and serve. Right. So, if you want to have 298 00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:12,840 Speaker 2: a great police department, you gotta have a great police apartment, 299 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:16,440 Speaker 2: and they got to be able to have integrity. You 300 00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:19,720 Speaker 2: got to be able to have police said, police officers 301 00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:23,960 Speaker 2: be able to just really show up for someone. That's 302 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,040 Speaker 2: why I didn't want to be a domestic violence officer. 303 00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:30,680 Speaker 2: I was like, I'm not going there and go to 304 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:33,600 Speaker 2: a call and it's a domestic violence officer, and what 305 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:35,280 Speaker 2: I'm going to really do for her or what I'm 306 00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:38,600 Speaker 2: gonna really do for him? Come on, it ain't it 307 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,760 Speaker 2: ain't it ain't. The system ain't get to help us 308 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:44,640 Speaker 2: like that, especially people that look like us. 309 00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:47,480 Speaker 4: Do you even now and share your story in the book, 310 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:50,080 Speaker 4: you talked about switching units because of like just fear 311 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:51,640 Speaker 4: of the things that were happening or whatever. 312 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:53,760 Speaker 2: And what part are you talking through? 313 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,560 Speaker 4: You talked about You said your arrested I think it 314 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:58,360 Speaker 4: was one hundred and forty five hundred forty seven people. 315 00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:00,240 Speaker 4: It was like buses of people, and you were saying 316 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:02,040 Speaker 4: that like being in arcotics was getting a little like 317 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:03,760 Speaker 4: you were fearing for your safety. Oh yeah, Do you 318 00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:05,800 Speaker 4: feel for your safety now because you're talking about all 319 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:06,240 Speaker 4: this stuff? 320 00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:12,280 Speaker 2: No, absolutely not. I trust God, you know, I believe 321 00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:15,440 Speaker 2: that he has me on an assignment and whatever is 322 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:18,600 Speaker 2: gonna be, it's gonna be. I'm telling the truth. I'm 323 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:28,120 Speaker 2: telling the truth, and I am here on whatever platform 324 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:31,000 Speaker 2: to be able to speak the truth. And so we 325 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:35,240 Speaker 2: got to stop lying to people, you know, we gotta 326 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:42,600 Speaker 2: stop lying like we're not we're not being real with people. 327 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:47,640 Speaker 2: Let's stop lying. Let's start telling the truth, and let's 328 00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:51,480 Speaker 2: start really showing up. And if we're not showing up, 329 00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:52,800 Speaker 2: then shut up. 330 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,280 Speaker 3: But as you said, though, people are afraid to tell 331 00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:58,919 Speaker 3: the truth, especially in that system, because of fear of retaliation. 332 00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:04,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you know what, Sometimes you gotta do what 333 00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:07,560 Speaker 2: you gotta do, right, Sometimes you gotta do what you 334 00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:10,760 Speaker 2: gotta do. And I still quiet. And so now now 335 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,440 Speaker 2: I get to I get to be able to tell 336 00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:14,960 Speaker 2: the truth. So you got to do what you have 337 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:19,000 Speaker 2: to do and be do it with wisdom and knowledge 338 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:23,159 Speaker 2: and understanding. That's how you do it, not saying go 339 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:27,239 Speaker 2: out there and be foolish about it, but have some 340 00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:28,000 Speaker 2: wisdom with it. 341 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:30,800 Speaker 3: I saw in an interview where you said, a good 342 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:32,919 Speaker 3: cop is somebody with empathy who cares. 343 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:35,560 Speaker 1: Yes, So what is a bad cop somebody who just doesn't. 344 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:38,159 Speaker 2: Just don't care. Yeah, I'm just here. I'm here to 345 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:41,200 Speaker 2: get I'm just here, got my uniform on and got 346 00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:45,320 Speaker 2: my suit on, and I'm here. A lot of cops 347 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,080 Speaker 2: they didn't have an even Let me tell you something. 348 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:54,560 Speaker 2: I remember working with a partner of mine and we 349 00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:56,600 Speaker 2: were in the car and he said to me, he said, 350 00:18:57,040 --> 00:19:00,879 Speaker 2: you know, I never was around black people till I 351 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:04,720 Speaker 2: came to this job, damn. And I was like, what 352 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:10,679 Speaker 2: I said, So, how you gonna police us if you 353 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:16,719 Speaker 2: have never experienced? And he dropped his head, and I 354 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:20,080 Speaker 2: took him to my aunt's house and I said, I'm 355 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:23,720 Speaker 2: gonna show you what black family looked like, because I 356 00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:26,800 Speaker 2: was story, ain't your story? And I took him there 357 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:30,200 Speaker 2: and I caught my aunt on the phone and I said, 358 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:34,199 Speaker 2: I'm gonna bring this young man to the house, and 359 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:37,560 Speaker 2: she cooked this fried chicken and made him some real soul. 360 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,080 Speaker 2: Let me tell you something. This god caught me just 361 00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:44,800 Speaker 2: the other day and he said, thank you for the experience. 362 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:47,200 Speaker 1: Wow. 363 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,840 Speaker 3: So I wondered when you become an officer. Of course 364 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:52,240 Speaker 3: there's people who just naturally don't have empathy. But I 365 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:55,760 Speaker 3: wonder if you can go in with empathy but then lose. 366 00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:59,040 Speaker 2: It, oh one, because you can get right in the 367 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,879 Speaker 2: mix with him. You can get right in it, and 368 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:04,840 Speaker 2: it ain't hard for you to I'm telling you because 369 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:09,639 Speaker 2: had I not had my experience, it's a great possibility 370 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,840 Speaker 2: that that would have happened to me. Wow. Because you 371 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:16,040 Speaker 2: really believe in you really believe in this, in this, 372 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:21,360 Speaker 2: in this family. Because let me tell you something. Some 373 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:26,440 Speaker 2: of them cops, that's all they got is that family. 374 00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:31,600 Speaker 2: And I'm telling you they live and die. I mean 375 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:36,199 Speaker 2: I got police. They are going in my comments like 376 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:40,600 Speaker 2: trying to attack me, and I'm like, y'all know I'm 377 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:47,280 Speaker 2: telling the truth, but y'all rather protect that than to 378 00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:52,879 Speaker 2: protect this. And I don't want people to feel sorry 379 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:56,840 Speaker 2: for me because I'm not no victim. I've been victimized, 380 00:20:56,880 --> 00:21:00,800 Speaker 2: but I'm not no victim. And I want to be 381 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:05,400 Speaker 2: real clear. And one person said in the comments, oh, 382 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:08,960 Speaker 2: what more do you want? You retired a first grade detective? 383 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:13,520 Speaker 2: What do you mean? I worked hard to be a 384 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:17,840 Speaker 2: first grade detective. Ain't nobody give that to me. Have 385 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:23,560 Speaker 2: I got gotten help along the way? Absolutely? But I worked. 386 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:26,399 Speaker 2: I worked in them streets, and I worked in the 387 00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:31,760 Speaker 2: streets that looked like you and I because I understood 388 00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:35,399 Speaker 2: that had I not been there, things would have been 389 00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:36,879 Speaker 2: different for a lot of people. 390 00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:42,840 Speaker 3: Wow, you spoke about how you know you forgave your 391 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:45,520 Speaker 3: ex fiance because you didn't want to have that bitterness 392 00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:48,640 Speaker 3: in you? Did you also have some maybe some empathy 393 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:51,080 Speaker 3: for him because you know how he became that way? 394 00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:55,240 Speaker 2: Maybe I have empathy for him, because he a broken 395 00:21:55,320 --> 00:22:02,480 Speaker 2: man in pieces he made, he was never made up 396 00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:05,600 Speaker 2: of anything, no substance to him as a man. Any 397 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:10,480 Speaker 2: man that can put his hands on a woman and 398 00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:13,480 Speaker 2: you shoot her and you beat her and you murder 399 00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:21,119 Speaker 2: your child, what what is he made of? Absolutely nothing? 400 00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:23,520 Speaker 2: You have to have empathy for him. 401 00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:27,800 Speaker 4: What about for your grandmother? Like did you ever get 402 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:29,879 Speaker 4: to a place where you forgave her? Or like I 403 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:33,200 Speaker 4: know there was something about like her when y'all first, 404 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:34,800 Speaker 4: I guess I broke up. She knew what was going on. 405 00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:37,280 Speaker 4: She was like, you know, work it out, figure it 406 00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:37,800 Speaker 4: out with him. 407 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:41,760 Speaker 2: I never was mad at my grandmother because my grandmother 408 00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:47,880 Speaker 2: was a product of brokenness. Speak about that in the book. 409 00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:54,560 Speaker 2: My grandfather left my grandmother for a white woman, and 410 00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:58,320 Speaker 2: that was the miise of my family. My grandmother never recovered. 411 00:22:58,320 --> 00:22:59,639 Speaker 2: She died from a broken heart. 412 00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:06,720 Speaker 1: M You think abuses need rehabilitation of jail. 413 00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:12,520 Speaker 2: Time, I think both. I think both. While you in there, 414 00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:16,280 Speaker 2: you shouldn't be able to get your help, your healing, 415 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:21,880 Speaker 2: whatever it is that you need, because if you put 416 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:24,120 Speaker 2: them in prison and you don't do nothing with them, 417 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:27,239 Speaker 2: or they come out and be a worse savage than 418 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:28,160 Speaker 2: they already was. 419 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:30,160 Speaker 1: Right. 420 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:33,359 Speaker 4: I was like, ask, how do you deal with your 421 00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:35,160 Speaker 4: day to day now? Because like, where is he? 422 00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:35,359 Speaker 1: Like? 423 00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:39,480 Speaker 2: What is he? I have no idea, I have no idea. 424 00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:43,520 Speaker 1: Do you still live in fear of him? 425 00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:49,240 Speaker 2: Absolutely not, absolutely not. I fear no one but God. M. 426 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:52,040 Speaker 3: You know the title of your book alludes to the 427 00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:54,000 Speaker 3: to the blues, right, and you think of blues, you 428 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:57,360 Speaker 3: think of like the music, the music. What does blues 429 00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,560 Speaker 3: mean to you and how does it reflect you know, 430 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:01,439 Speaker 3: your journey from trauma to hill. 431 00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:06,880 Speaker 2: And then came the blues is my life and then 432 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:10,080 Speaker 2: the NYPD life. Those are the blues, and then the 433 00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:13,080 Speaker 2: blues of my life. My life was blues on top 434 00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:13,680 Speaker 2: of blues. 435 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:16,920 Speaker 1: M what color is it now? 436 00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:22,000 Speaker 2: Hah? White? That's right. 437 00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:24,440 Speaker 1: You feel like you definitely came out on the other side. 438 00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:31,040 Speaker 2: Let me tell you something, I've never been in a 439 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:34,679 Speaker 2: better place. I have finally found peace. And when you 440 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:40,000 Speaker 2: get peace, you will never allow anybody else to disrupt 441 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:44,439 Speaker 2: that piece. I'm walking peace. I live for peace. 442 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:48,040 Speaker 3: Do you remember the exact moment like you felt it? Like, 443 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:50,880 Speaker 3: oh man, I feel free, I feel peace. 444 00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:58,320 Speaker 2: When I left City Hall that day and I retired. Wow, 445 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:01,520 Speaker 2: I'm telling you, it was like a light just came 446 00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:02,040 Speaker 2: over on me. 447 00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:02,760 Speaker 1: Wow. 448 00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:07,440 Speaker 2: And my the ada that was on my case at 449 00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:13,400 Speaker 2: the time. She was there at my walkout and we 450 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:19,800 Speaker 2: were leaving, and she said, I've been waiting to send 451 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:23,840 Speaker 2: this post. Do I have your approval to now tell 452 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:28,240 Speaker 2: the world what happened to you? And I said absolutely. 453 00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:31,880 Speaker 2: And when she'd pressed in it was it. 454 00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:32,920 Speaker 1: Wow. 455 00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:38,000 Speaker 4: Was there ever a moment of like when you had 456 00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:41,880 Speaker 4: to testify in court right or decided to? Was there 457 00:25:41,880 --> 00:25:44,800 Speaker 4: ever a moment for you where you thought you felt 458 00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:46,840 Speaker 4: that piece that you're talking about? But then later on, 459 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,000 Speaker 4: I guess you realize that you're finally here, like because 460 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:50,760 Speaker 4: I would think maybe that would bring you some sort 461 00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:52,440 Speaker 4: of closure or piece as well too, Or. 462 00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:57,159 Speaker 2: No, you mean testify with my I never got a 463 00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:58,040 Speaker 2: chance to testify. 464 00:25:58,119 --> 00:25:59,440 Speaker 4: Oh so when you showed up the court, they didn't 465 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:00,159 Speaker 4: put you on the sand. 466 00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:03,040 Speaker 2: When I showed up in the court. And when I 467 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:06,040 Speaker 2: showed up in the courtroom, he turned around and saw 468 00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:09,720 Speaker 2: me because he thought that he had that intimidated me 469 00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:11,200 Speaker 2: enough that I would not come. 470 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,679 Speaker 1: From jail right to come to court. 471 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:19,040 Speaker 2: And when I walked in and he saw me, he 472 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,840 Speaker 2: whispered to his attorney, and the next thing I know, 473 00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:25,000 Speaker 2: they took me back out of the court room. And 474 00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:30,920 Speaker 2: the next thing I knew, like guilty. 475 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:32,560 Speaker 3: Because you came to the first you told the DA 476 00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:34,520 Speaker 3: he was going to disappear, right, Yeah, I told her 477 00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:35,240 Speaker 3: I was disappeared. 478 00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:37,960 Speaker 2: And then the trial, Yeah, because she told me that 479 00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:40,240 Speaker 2: she was gonna hunt me down or something like a dog. 480 00:26:40,320 --> 00:26:43,280 Speaker 2: I can't remember what she told me. She empty. She 481 00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:45,879 Speaker 2: had told me. She was like, that is you're going 482 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,119 Speaker 2: to show And I'm like, for what, nothing's going to 483 00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:53,000 Speaker 2: happen to him? And everything that I said was going 484 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:58,000 Speaker 2: to happen, it happened. Wow. And that's when people read 485 00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:04,200 Speaker 2: the book. You will see every single thing. How does 486 00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:11,600 Speaker 2: a man shoot someone ten times kill their child and 487 00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:15,280 Speaker 2: all you give them is five to fifteen? Tell me 488 00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:16,080 Speaker 2: how that works? 489 00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:17,560 Speaker 1: Oh, because you're a black woman? 490 00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:18,480 Speaker 2: R number one? 491 00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:21,880 Speaker 3: Number two because he was part of the law enforcement. Yeah, 492 00:27:21,920 --> 00:27:23,880 Speaker 3: so he was protecting the on that's right, man. 493 00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:24,359 Speaker 1: That part. 494 00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:27,400 Speaker 3: So your decision not to want to show up until 495 00:27:27,480 --> 00:27:30,080 Speaker 3: day four, it was it was that was a decision, 496 00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:30,520 Speaker 3: not a fear. 497 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:33,399 Speaker 2: Basically, it was it was fair. And then I was 498 00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:36,800 Speaker 2: just like, it's nothing gonna happen. Like listen, it is 499 00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:40,080 Speaker 2: what it is like, We're not gonna play no more games. 500 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:45,120 Speaker 2: I'm tired of showing up and y'are not showing out. 501 00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:49,680 Speaker 2: So am I gonna show up today? What's gonna happen? 502 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:52,320 Speaker 2: If I show up today? When y'all show up, what's 503 00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:59,600 Speaker 2: gonna happen? It's something gonna change today. 504 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:00,480 Speaker 1: Damn. 505 00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:03,800 Speaker 3: I'm wondering being that you never told anybody your story, 506 00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:05,720 Speaker 3: and you know, when you would get calls for those 507 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:08,399 Speaker 3: domestic violence cases, why did you tell people you weren't 508 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:10,680 Speaker 3: you didn't want to be involved in them when you're 509 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:11,040 Speaker 3: an auso? 510 00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:14,520 Speaker 2: Because I can't what was There's nothing good in the 511 00:28:14,560 --> 00:28:19,479 Speaker 2: deplotment that really helped domestic balance victim? What? What? What? What? What? 512 00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:19,879 Speaker 2: Am I? 513 00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:20,159 Speaker 1: So? 514 00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:23,120 Speaker 2: Why would I do that to somebody else? 515 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:25,440 Speaker 3: Were you were kind of thinking to yourself, I might 516 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:26,880 Speaker 3: go out here and be a vigilante and. 517 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,480 Speaker 1: Up No, I was. 518 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:34,600 Speaker 2: No. I like freedom I went to early on in 519 00:28:34,640 --> 00:28:36,680 Speaker 2: my career, I went to the JAIZ and did the 520 00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:41,640 Speaker 2: Scared program and I said, oh, no, no way now. 521 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:45,320 Speaker 2: And that was one of the things that I wanted 522 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:48,920 Speaker 2: to that I felt good about because y'all would have 523 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:50,960 Speaker 2: fired me if I would have told you. But look 524 00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:54,240 Speaker 2: how I went and didn't have no scandals. We did 525 00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:58,680 Speaker 2: my job, I had integrity, I was respected and then 526 00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:05,600 Speaker 2: I and I left in a clean slate. I did that, 527 00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:09,600 Speaker 2: and y'all would have said that I couldn't have done that. 528 00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:15,200 Speaker 2: And I've had people put in my comments that they 529 00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:18,920 Speaker 2: was being honest on their interview trying to get onto 530 00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:20,920 Speaker 2: the police department and told them that they would have 531 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:23,520 Speaker 2: a victim and they never heard from the police department. 532 00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:26,280 Speaker 2: And I got it in my DMS, and I made 533 00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:30,160 Speaker 2: sure that I screenshot them. Wow, and my publicists, she 534 00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:36,840 Speaker 2: can tell you, I have she know that that that 535 00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:39,280 Speaker 2: I'm not lying, and they say, oh, she's lying. We 536 00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:40,080 Speaker 2: wouldn't a fighter. 537 00:29:42,280 --> 00:29:44,760 Speaker 4: Have any of the officers that showed up those times 538 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,479 Speaker 4: when you did reach out to police come back and 539 00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:51,560 Speaker 4: been like, we should have done more, say that sorry anything? 540 00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:58,920 Speaker 2: Let me tell you when when when the story first dropped, 541 00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:03,600 Speaker 2: anonymous caller called me. A lot of anonymous police officers 542 00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:05,640 Speaker 2: were calling me and saying, you're a hero. I wish 543 00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:07,480 Speaker 2: that I had to strength to do what you're doing. 544 00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,440 Speaker 2: Thank you for being a voice. But I had one 545 00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:13,160 Speaker 2: called me and he said, I'm not sure if I'm 546 00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:17,920 Speaker 2: the officer that responded to you, because I worked at 547 00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:20,320 Speaker 2: the eight one at that time. He said, but I 548 00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:23,440 Speaker 2: want to say to you that I apologize if I am. 549 00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:25,760 Speaker 2: He said, I'm not going to tell you my name. 550 00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:28,040 Speaker 2: I believe he told me he was either a captain 551 00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,160 Speaker 2: or an inspector at the time that he retired. And 552 00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:32,800 Speaker 2: he retired and he had moved to Florida, and he said, 553 00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:36,000 Speaker 2: I just want to tell you that I apologize to 554 00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:38,600 Speaker 2: you and hung up the phone. 555 00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:40,120 Speaker 4: Did that do anything for you? 556 00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:48,880 Speaker 2: I just broke down and tears because I said, maybe 557 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:52,240 Speaker 2: had you did something, maybe this wouldn't have happened to 558 00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:55,160 Speaker 2: my life. But he never gave me a chance to 559 00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:55,800 Speaker 2: say anything. 560 00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:00,520 Speaker 3: You know, just say everybody got to have a testimony, 561 00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:02,800 Speaker 3: right because then if you didn't have that testimony, you 562 00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:03,920 Speaker 3: wouldn't be where you are now. 563 00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:04,760 Speaker 4: But damn. 564 00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:08,000 Speaker 1: You have to go through all of that. 565 00:31:08,840 --> 00:31:11,960 Speaker 3: You have the organization Our Young Ladies of Our Future, 566 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:15,320 Speaker 3: which is a nonprofit organization that serves at risk young women, 567 00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:18,120 Speaker 3: and you have Can't Be Silenced and organization working on 568 00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:21,520 Speaker 3: solutions to the urgent domestic violence crisis. What made you 569 00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:24,320 Speaker 3: want to start both of those organizations, well. 570 00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:28,120 Speaker 2: Young Ladies of our Future. I wanted to start that 571 00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:34,000 Speaker 2: because I never wanted any young girl, young lady to 572 00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:38,080 Speaker 2: ever have to endure what I haven't done. So if 573 00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:41,239 Speaker 2: I could just be able to pour into them and 574 00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:43,880 Speaker 2: be able to change their lives and make a difference 575 00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:46,640 Speaker 2: in their life, I just wanted to be able to 576 00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:50,160 Speaker 2: do that. So that was the purpose of that. And 577 00:31:50,200 --> 00:31:56,400 Speaker 2: I teach workshops just about self esteem, self awareness, a 578 00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:59,520 Speaker 2: whole leap of things, and there can't be silenced. Peace 579 00:31:59,720 --> 00:32:02,680 Speaker 2: was because I had to be silenced for so long 580 00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:05,800 Speaker 2: and now I have a voice, and I am the 581 00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:09,160 Speaker 2: voice for the voiceless and the hope for the hopeless. 582 00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:10,560 Speaker 2: So that is why. 583 00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:13,600 Speaker 1: So do you feel like everything happens for a reason? 584 00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:21,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, I do believe that, you know, Charlemagne, When I 585 00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:23,800 Speaker 2: was a little girl, I was in so much pain 586 00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:27,920 Speaker 2: from what's going on in my life and I used 587 00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:31,000 Speaker 2: to now people call it a journal I had written. 588 00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:35,640 Speaker 2: I used to write my diary and I had lost 589 00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:37,760 Speaker 2: it when I had gotten older, and I found it 590 00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:47,560 Speaker 2: through moving and that was how I was able to 591 00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:52,239 Speaker 2: just write down so much detail because it was so 592 00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:54,840 Speaker 2: much pain and I was able to put it all together. 593 00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:59,360 Speaker 2: And I said to I said, as a little girl, 594 00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:01,360 Speaker 2: I said, I want to be I want to be 595 00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:04,400 Speaker 2: an author. I want to be a write. My grandmother 596 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:07,200 Speaker 2: was a Liburian. God had to give me a story 597 00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:07,920 Speaker 2: to be an author. 598 00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:11,720 Speaker 4: Wow, ending your story and in the book. I turned 599 00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:14,600 Speaker 4: to the last page in your book. 600 00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:19,040 Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, I want that to be a surprise. 601 00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:21,480 Speaker 4: Okay, because I thought just leave it. 602 00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:23,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, I wanted to be a surprise. 603 00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:25,840 Speaker 4: I guess I rephrase the question. Then at the end 604 00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:27,600 Speaker 4: of your book, you choose to end it in a 605 00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:31,240 Speaker 4: very uplifting, like silver lining way of all of this. 606 00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:33,360 Speaker 1: I want to say only Lauren would give away the 607 00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:34,400 Speaker 1: ending of the book. 608 00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:40,520 Speaker 4: Because because it's so sweet. Well okay, right, but I 609 00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:42,080 Speaker 4: think for most people, because they hear all of this 610 00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:43,600 Speaker 4: and then they're wondering, like, well, what is your personal 611 00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:44,640 Speaker 4: life like, like how do you? 612 00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:46,000 Speaker 2: And I want people to. 613 00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:49,760 Speaker 4: From that and you go ahead, Yeah. 614 00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:51,760 Speaker 2: I just I want people to know that dreams do 615 00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:56,120 Speaker 2: come true and that don't ever give up on your dream, 616 00:33:56,200 --> 00:34:02,360 Speaker 2: don't ever give up on yourself, because look what happened 617 00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:05,440 Speaker 2: for me, and if God can do it for me, 618 00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:06,360 Speaker 2: he can do it for you. 619 00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:09,360 Speaker 1: When did you first start truly loving yourself? 620 00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:15,279 Speaker 2: Oh gosh, oh god, it took so many years. When 621 00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:17,959 Speaker 2: I met the Minister Lors Fabcon, all. 622 00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:21,280 Speaker 1: Praise to do to the minister. Absolutely for the minister. 623 00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:26,240 Speaker 2: Oh god, what twenty ten, that's when I started. Then 624 00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:29,600 Speaker 2: he's beginning to pour into me and it changed my life? 625 00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:32,560 Speaker 3: Was that when you were able to find I guess 626 00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:34,160 Speaker 3: you know, because they say you can't love anybody else 627 00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:36,760 Speaker 3: until you love yourself, so you able to find healthy 628 00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:38,040 Speaker 3: love in your life. 629 00:34:38,040 --> 00:34:40,319 Speaker 2: After that, I was able to find start to be 630 00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:45,520 Speaker 2: able to find healthy love and friendships and relationships right 631 00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:48,200 Speaker 2: because we attract what we are. Right. If you've broken, 632 00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:50,759 Speaker 2: you got broken homegirls, so let's keep it away, right, 633 00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:56,120 Speaker 2: broken broken relationships, It's only until you get healed and 634 00:34:56,160 --> 00:35:00,480 Speaker 2: made whole. And what is made whole, nothing missing, nothing, 635 00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:06,040 Speaker 2: damage is what's being made whole. Right, That's what that 636 00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:06,520 Speaker 2: looks like. 637 00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:09,360 Speaker 1: I just got a few more questions. What have you 638 00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:09,879 Speaker 1: learned about? 639 00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:11,600 Speaker 3: What would have been some of your biggest lessons in 640 00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:12,759 Speaker 3: regards to resilience. 641 00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:24,360 Speaker 2: The biggest lessons probably is like you gotta fight. I 642 00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:28,719 Speaker 2: don't care what I'm telling you, gotta fight. You have 643 00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:31,400 Speaker 2: to really really, like you gotta put on your box 644 00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:34,239 Speaker 2: and gloves, and like you gotta go in there like 645 00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:37,840 Speaker 2: you the heavy world, the world, the heavyweight world champion, 646 00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:41,560 Speaker 2: and if I'm saying it correctly, champion, heavyweight champion the world. 647 00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:44,560 Speaker 2: Like you gotta go into the ring with that mindset 648 00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:46,799 Speaker 2: that I'm gonna come out the winner. You cannot go 649 00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:50,520 Speaker 2: in there if you go in already saying that you're defeated, 650 00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:54,640 Speaker 2: You're gonna be defeated. And I was just determined, like 651 00:35:55,239 --> 00:36:02,879 Speaker 2: I got to win. I have to win. So every obstacle, 652 00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:07,520 Speaker 2: I said, I'm gonna get to the finish line. And 653 00:36:07,560 --> 00:36:10,960 Speaker 2: I got to the finish line. 654 00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:13,920 Speaker 4: You said that. I was just going to ask too, 655 00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:18,840 Speaker 4: about the photos in the art on the book, just choosing, 656 00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:21,160 Speaker 4: like how you chose the photos in the art, like 657 00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:24,640 Speaker 4: the back photo, the opening photos showing both sides of you, 658 00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:26,439 Speaker 4: Like how did you know what you wanted to pick 659 00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:29,520 Speaker 4: image wise to match what the book would be telling. 660 00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:32,000 Speaker 4: Because so on point oh. 661 00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:34,400 Speaker 2: That, let me tell you that was that had taken 662 00:36:34,440 --> 00:36:38,760 Speaker 2: a lot of meditation because I didn't, you know, because 663 00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:40,680 Speaker 2: of what's going on with the police. I was like, oh, 664 00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:42,520 Speaker 2: I don't know if I want to put that on 665 00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:45,080 Speaker 2: the you know, and I'm just like, it's just not 666 00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:47,959 Speaker 2: a police story. This is just not about a police story, right, 667 00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:51,400 Speaker 2: this is so much in it. So I'm just like, 668 00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:54,120 Speaker 2: let me put me and let me put the cop 669 00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:59,759 Speaker 2: and let's work it out like that. And then I 670 00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:03,919 Speaker 2: just sent it to my literary agent and she sent 671 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:07,319 Speaker 2: me back some pictures and except what do you think? 672 00:37:07,360 --> 00:37:12,239 Speaker 2: And I said, let's do this, and that's how we 673 00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:15,000 Speaker 2: that's how we got there. And that picture there is 674 00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:17,440 Speaker 2: probably one of my favorite pictures before on the back 675 00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:17,839 Speaker 2: of the book. 676 00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:20,640 Speaker 1: He was so innocent because I don't see nothing. 677 00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:22,000 Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm looking and I'm like, I don't even 678 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:23,239 Speaker 3: see the pain in your eyes, like you. 679 00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:26,520 Speaker 2: Just And I was in a lot of pain when 680 00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:28,879 Speaker 2: I'm I'm talking, and I was at the core pain 681 00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:35,120 Speaker 2: putting that shoe on, and I had I don't want 682 00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:36,520 Speaker 2: to give too much away, but I was in a 683 00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:39,760 Speaker 2: lot of pain, a lot of pain physically and mentally 684 00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:45,160 Speaker 2: that day. And I remember the photographer saying saying something 685 00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:48,960 Speaker 2: to me, and I just looked up at him. 686 00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:51,520 Speaker 3: If you could speak to your younger self, you know, 687 00:37:51,719 --> 00:37:54,480 Speaker 3: the twenty two year old you who survived that unimaginable trauma. 688 00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:56,440 Speaker 1: What do you wish she knew in that moment? 689 00:37:57,160 --> 00:38:05,399 Speaker 2: Oh gosh, mmm, I wish I knew God. I wish 690 00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:12,319 Speaker 2: I knew what love felt like. I wish that I 691 00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:22,319 Speaker 2: had gave myself some grace and had a little bit 692 00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:25,080 Speaker 2: more patience with myself, and wish I could have believed 693 00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:29,120 Speaker 2: in myself. I mean, I can go on like it's 694 00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:33,319 Speaker 2: a lot. It's a lot. 695 00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:35,960 Speaker 3: What do you hope readers take away from your memoir, 696 00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:39,160 Speaker 3: especially those who might be navigating their own survival stories 697 00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:39,640 Speaker 3: right now. 698 00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:45,000 Speaker 2: I really hope and pray that people really, truly will 699 00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:49,840 Speaker 2: be inspired. I want people to also be empowered. I 700 00:38:49,880 --> 00:38:57,440 Speaker 2: want people to be educated. I want people to understand 701 00:38:57,480 --> 00:39:02,120 Speaker 2: the importance of loving yourself, importance of getting healed, the 702 00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:06,320 Speaker 2: importance of your mental health. And I also want people 703 00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:12,960 Speaker 2: to even have a little a different outlook on the 704 00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:18,719 Speaker 2: police department, because all cops are not bad. They're not. 705 00:39:20,719 --> 00:39:22,680 Speaker 3: I just want, yeah, I just want officers to stop 706 00:39:22,719 --> 00:39:28,040 Speaker 3: ignoring domestic violence cases because you survived, like literally, like 707 00:39:28,080 --> 00:39:30,759 Speaker 3: you got shot ten times, survived and I'm just I'm 708 00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:32,439 Speaker 3: thinking about it so much because I just came home 709 00:39:32,440 --> 00:39:35,839 Speaker 3: from you know, South Carolina, you know, like yesterday and 710 00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:38,799 Speaker 3: I was told a story about a young woman named 711 00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:41,279 Speaker 3: Angel Caples, and she was thirty eight years old, and 712 00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:44,200 Speaker 3: she had been calling the police and telling the police. 713 00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:47,360 Speaker 3: I think it was her exo, somebody was going to 714 00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:48,920 Speaker 3: kill me. He's going to kill me because he used 715 00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:50,560 Speaker 3: to beat on her, beat on her, and for whatever reason, 716 00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:52,520 Speaker 3: they weren't taking her serious. And this dude came in 717 00:39:52,560 --> 00:39:55,520 Speaker 3: the house, shot and killed like six days ago. 718 00:39:56,080 --> 00:39:57,879 Speaker 1: You know, she's no longer here. 719 00:39:57,880 --> 00:39:59,960 Speaker 3: So it's just like, just like, I don't understand why 720 00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:02,600 Speaker 3: officers don't take that serious. If somebody says to you, heye, 721 00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:04,960 Speaker 3: this person is going to kill me, why isn't something 722 00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:06,279 Speaker 3: done immediately? 723 00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:10,799 Speaker 2: And the thing about it is that, look, this is 724 00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:13,759 Speaker 2: in a whole nother state. This is happening everywhere. It's 725 00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:16,080 Speaker 2: people from all over the world reaching out to me 726 00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:19,760 Speaker 2: for help, and I can't help them because there's nothing 727 00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:23,600 Speaker 2: in place for people that's in these situations. And I 728 00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:27,680 Speaker 2: really wish that the government would step up and do more. 729 00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:34,080 Speaker 2: We need policy, we need change because people are literally 730 00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:39,279 Speaker 2: dying out here, and a lot of people don't even 731 00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:42,360 Speaker 2: call because they know they're not gonna get help. And 732 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:45,040 Speaker 2: a lot of people stay because where are they gonna. 733 00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:47,600 Speaker 4: Go homegirls in no situations? 734 00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:57,640 Speaker 2: Yes, So I'm just asking whomever Congress, somebody help please. 735 00:40:58,000 --> 00:40:59,759 Speaker 4: Why is it so hard for that to change though? 736 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:03,120 Speaker 4: Because people you have, like you see people dying and 737 00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:04,480 Speaker 4: not making it. Oh, why is it so hard to 738 00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:05,880 Speaker 4: make it? Where if you call the police, they can 739 00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:08,000 Speaker 4: actually do something and that person kid just walk back 740 00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:08,560 Speaker 4: into your house. 741 00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:13,399 Speaker 2: Because it's not it's the system is just not set 742 00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:22,000 Speaker 2: up to protect it's not And we need change, right, 743 00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:24,239 Speaker 2: we need change. We go out and we vote for 744 00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:30,040 Speaker 2: people that tell us lies. Stop voting for people that's 745 00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:35,840 Speaker 2: not helping. If they are not doing the work before 746 00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:38,839 Speaker 2: they get in, why are you voting for them? Right, 747 00:41:41,080 --> 00:41:46,240 Speaker 2: we kind of stop just being a part of something 748 00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:52,839 Speaker 2: that's not real. They lying and saying, oh I could 749 00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:54,919 Speaker 2: do this, I can get this done, and nothing don't 750 00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:57,040 Speaker 2: get done. And then when they and then when they 751 00:41:57,040 --> 00:42:00,480 Speaker 2: get into office, they act like they know even had 752 00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:01,560 Speaker 2: those conversations. 753 00:42:03,719 --> 00:42:06,960 Speaker 3: Wow, if people want to sign up for your seminars 754 00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:08,560 Speaker 3: or you know, be a part of the young ladies 755 00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:10,040 Speaker 3: of our future, it can't be silenced. 756 00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:13,400 Speaker 2: Where they reach you Miss Dot Katrina four five six 757 00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:19,400 Speaker 2: and Katrina Brownlee on on Facebook. All my social media. 758 00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:23,279 Speaker 3: Proforms, well, I'm glad that you survived, and I'm glad 759 00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:25,040 Speaker 3: that you're here to tell your story because this is 760 00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:28,640 Speaker 3: going to help somebody. So and then came the Blues, 761 00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:31,160 Speaker 3: My story of survival on both sides of the Badge, 762 00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:35,279 Speaker 3: a memoir from Katrina Brownlee, is available everywhere. Now, my 763 00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:40,920 Speaker 3: last question one word that describes your journey hmm. 764 00:42:40,960 --> 00:42:47,480 Speaker 2: One of the last word to describe my journey. Ah, God, 765 00:42:47,640 --> 00:42:52,479 Speaker 2: I made it. I made it. 766 00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:54,320 Speaker 1: It's Katrina Brownlee. It's the Breakfast Club. 767 00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:56,520 Speaker 2: Thank you for coming, thank you for having me. 768 00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:02,080 Speaker 1: Every day I wake last up the Breakfast Club. You'll 769 00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:03,040 Speaker 1: finish and y'all dump 770 00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:04,600 Speaker 2: H