WEBVTT - #35 Break Up Like a Pro 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.440 Hell, I Suck at Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jared 0:00:04.720 --> 0:00:14.720 and I heard right as you heard right there, Welcome 0:00:14.720 --> 0:00:16.760 to a new episode of Help I Suck at Dating 0:00:17.000 --> 0:00:22.760 with Dean, Jared, and Vanessa stars and stripes. I'll tell 0:00:22.800 --> 0:00:25.080 you we really just got goose bumps. I think it's 0:00:25.079 --> 0:00:29.800 a Vanessa butterfly. Whenever that go off, it's very exciting. 0:00:29.960 --> 0:00:33.640 You know. You cut the difference there, right, That's that's 0:00:33.680 --> 0:00:35.120 the whole point is there is a difference in that 0:00:35.159 --> 0:00:37.640 one than there wasn't every other episode. It's now Dean, Vanessa, 0:00:37.680 --> 0:00:40.159 and Jared no longer. Okay, really cut into that, but 0:00:40.200 --> 0:00:42.600 I'm glad you did. Anyways, as Jared said, welcome to 0:00:42.600 --> 0:00:44.879 another episode of Help I Suck at Dating with all 0:00:44.920 --> 0:00:49.919 three of us. There we are Landmark. Mark should have 0:00:49.960 --> 0:00:52.360 to maybe include his name. Is I'm like the furniture. 0:00:52.400 --> 0:00:54.160 I'm just if it's an I heard podcast, I'm just 0:00:54.200 --> 0:00:56.080 in the background. So you are not the furniture. But 0:00:56.120 --> 0:01:01.720 if you were, you'd be the nicest house defensive. I 0:01:01.760 --> 0:01:03.960 don't even know what that is. Yeah, yeah, but you're that. 0:01:07.920 --> 0:01:09.440 All right. Let's just get right into it. So we 0:01:09.480 --> 0:01:11.679 have some current events that are we've all been dying 0:01:11.720 --> 0:01:13.720 to talk about at least I know I have. Obviously 0:01:13.840 --> 0:01:17.679 we heard about Arianna and Pete. Right of course they're engaged. Um, 0:01:17.920 --> 0:01:19.800 how do you feel about it? Well, Ariana Grande and 0:01:19.840 --> 0:01:22.479 Pete Davidson beat even SNL and then everybody knows who 0:01:22.480 --> 0:01:25.240 are and Grande is. Apparently this morning it got announced 0:01:25.240 --> 0:01:28.639 that they are now engaged after three weeks of dating. 0:01:29.440 --> 0:01:31.959 About three weeks, yeah, not only three weeks of dating, 0:01:32.040 --> 0:01:36.000 but they were dating other people in early May, broke 0:01:36.120 --> 0:01:39.560 up with them, then got together, and now a little 0:01:39.720 --> 0:01:42.440 less than a month later, she's got a ring on it? 0:01:42.680 --> 0:01:44.760 How do we feel? How does this happen? It just 0:01:44.800 --> 0:01:47.920 happened so fast. It's weird because maybe it makes me 0:01:47.960 --> 0:01:52.840 think that obviously maybe they had met before they started dating, 0:01:53.160 --> 0:01:56.200 and there was like some feelings there. Before you start dating, 0:01:56.320 --> 0:01:58.840 it's like a different type of relationships, so until you're 0:01:58.880 --> 0:02:02.400 in it romantically, like it evolved, right, it could either 0:02:02.520 --> 0:02:04.800 like be really into it or it could be really 0:02:04.800 --> 0:02:06.800 good at the beginning and then it starts staying out. 0:02:07.160 --> 0:02:08.880 I just feel like it is a little early, But 0:02:08.919 --> 0:02:10.840 who am I to say I got engaged after two months? 0:02:10.919 --> 0:02:12.600 That's the thing. So do you think it's really because 0:02:12.680 --> 0:02:15.280 Vanessa you got engaged Nick after two months? This is 0:02:15.320 --> 0:02:18.320 about three weeks. I got engaged after two months of knowing. 0:02:18.360 --> 0:02:20.600 I was on a show that kind of led to 0:02:20.720 --> 0:02:24.400 that decision in the end. In the real world, I 0:02:24.440 --> 0:02:27.080 don't I wouldn't picture myself. I wouldn't you know, never 0:02:27.120 --> 0:02:29.280 say never, but I would have picture myself getting engaged 0:02:29.440 --> 0:02:31.760 that early on. And you don't really know someone. It 0:02:31.840 --> 0:02:33.800 takes you a while to get to know someone in 0:02:33.840 --> 0:02:36.640 and out, and especially for me, I want to see 0:02:36.680 --> 0:02:39.160 how that person is in an argument, and how they 0:02:39.240 --> 0:02:43.440 deal with conflict and how they resolve a situation. And 0:02:43.960 --> 0:02:46.320 I mean, can you really argue after three weeks of dating? 0:02:46.360 --> 0:02:48.799 What can you you know? How deep can you have? 0:02:49.080 --> 0:02:51.280 There's really nothing much about that point exactly. It's really 0:02:51.280 --> 0:02:53.160 a lot much argue about because it's all puppy love. 0:02:53.200 --> 0:02:54.919 I would venture to say that Arion NP are a 0:02:54.960 --> 0:02:58.280 little bit different than Vanessa Neck for lack of a 0:02:58.280 --> 0:03:01.720 better comparison, and obviously every bachelor engagement, just because I'm 0:03:01.720 --> 0:03:04.320 sure these two had spent in reality more time together 0:03:04.360 --> 0:03:06.239 than any bachelor couple has up until the point of 0:03:06.280 --> 0:03:08.560 their engagement. For better for worse, well mostly for worse 0:03:08.600 --> 0:03:10.799 in that sense, that's true. But I mean, okay, wait bean, 0:03:11.160 --> 0:03:15.240 everyone hears over. Oh yeah, she is very young, and 0:03:15.480 --> 0:03:17.160 so it's p Davidson. He's twenty four as well. They're 0:03:17.160 --> 0:03:19.079 both twenty four. So good. I said, good for them. 0:03:19.120 --> 0:03:21.400 They're young, they're in love, they want to get married, 0:03:21.680 --> 0:03:23.200 go for it. But that's not the question. Do you 0:03:23.240 --> 0:03:25.160 think it's too soon? It's not too soon. I will. 0:03:25.240 --> 0:03:27.639 I will say this. I will forever be team Ariana 0:03:27.680 --> 0:03:29.639 and mac Miller, just because I've been a fan of 0:03:29.680 --> 0:03:32.120 Macmillis music for a long time. And I'm granted, I 0:03:32.160 --> 0:03:34.120 don't know, you know what happened with all that, but 0:03:34.200 --> 0:03:36.560 they were just cute together. But happy for Ariana. N P. 0:03:36.640 --> 0:03:38.600 I don't think it's too soon at all. I mean, 0:03:38.600 --> 0:03:40.720 it's very soon, but it is very when you know, 0:03:40.760 --> 0:03:43.440 you know, would you propose to someone after three weeks? Dean? 0:03:43.760 --> 0:03:46.680 If if everything in my body told me to propose 0:03:46.720 --> 0:03:48.360 to someone after three weeks and I was like, I 0:03:48.400 --> 0:03:50.640 can't stand another moment of not being engaged to this 0:03:50.680 --> 0:03:52.920 wonderful person, then why not just do it? Like if 0:03:53.000 --> 0:03:54.480 I right now feel like I want to spend the 0:03:54.480 --> 0:03:56.040 rest of my life with you, and I'm very confident 0:03:56.040 --> 0:03:57.880 in that decision, then sure get done. And we also, 0:03:57.920 --> 0:03:59.480 like I said, we don't know how long they knew 0:03:59.480 --> 0:04:01.200 each other before where they started dating. Maybe this was 0:04:01.240 --> 0:04:02.720 like a couple of months leading into it, and they 0:04:02.720 --> 0:04:05.200 were things are fizzling out with the other person, and 0:04:05.240 --> 0:04:07.160 they were like, Wow, this person is incredible. We've gotten 0:04:07.160 --> 0:04:08.600 to know each other. I kind of want to break 0:04:08.680 --> 0:04:11.040 up with this person to date Pete or whatever and 0:04:11.080 --> 0:04:13.040 get married to and then but maybe three weeks in 0:04:13.080 --> 0:04:15.120 they were like, this is everything I could possibly imagine 0:04:15.120 --> 0:04:17.560 it being. Let's just get engaged and let's do this 0:04:17.560 --> 0:04:20.000 thing and let's move forward with our lives. Then let's 0:04:20.000 --> 0:04:21.880 do the damn thing. Vanesse, I got a question for you, 0:04:22.160 --> 0:04:24.320 So you sit for you guys, but go ahead, all right, 0:04:24.320 --> 0:04:26.560 Well first, go ahead the ladies first, exactly, So I 0:04:26.560 --> 0:04:31.160 will ask the question. Um, My question is you said 0:04:31.160 --> 0:04:32.840 that obviously you were on a show before you got 0:04:32.839 --> 0:04:34.880 engaged for two months. That's kind of the bachelor bubble 0:04:34.960 --> 0:04:37.160 the Bachelor world. Do you feel that you didn't really 0:04:37.200 --> 0:04:39.960 start dating Nick until after you got engaged, Like you 0:04:40.000 --> 0:04:42.520 guys left the show and you're like Okay, now this 0:04:42.600 --> 0:04:47.000 is actually us dating. Oh, I mean absolutely, we felt 0:04:47.040 --> 0:04:50.120 like we were dating after the show started. I would 0:04:50.160 --> 0:04:53.760 feel like after March. So from November until March when 0:04:53.800 --> 0:04:55.719 he had to keep it a secret, yes we were 0:04:56.080 --> 0:04:58.560 seeing each other and and all that stuff, but the 0:04:58.640 --> 0:05:01.960 real relationship came after March and and once we were 0:05:01.960 --> 0:05:04.680 able to just do normal things. But my question for 0:05:04.720 --> 0:05:09.120 you guys is is there a different for men between 0:05:09.279 --> 0:05:12.719 being engaged and getting married? So, yes, Arianna and Pete 0:05:12.800 --> 0:05:17.120 got engaged, but does that mean is that as significant 0:05:17.200 --> 0:05:20.719 as getting married for men? Like an engagement is like 0:05:21.000 --> 0:05:24.080 if I'm getting engaged fast leading to marriage. Unfortunately, my 0:05:24.160 --> 0:05:26.760 last engagement did not work out super bumped about it, 0:05:26.839 --> 0:05:29.640 But for me, it was kind of like my end 0:05:29.640 --> 0:05:30.960 all be all, and I think that's why it was 0:05:31.000 --> 0:05:33.440 hard for me to get over the breakup, because I 0:05:33.600 --> 0:05:35.839 envisioned that engagement leading up to a marriage. So is 0:05:35.839 --> 0:05:37.400 it the same for you guys. I'd like to also 0:05:37.440 --> 0:05:39.320 point out thank you for calling us men because I've 0:05:39.320 --> 0:05:42.440 always considered those selves boys. But hey, we'll take it. Yeah, 0:05:42.600 --> 0:05:45.800 fist pump um. So yes, there's a huge difference between 0:05:45.800 --> 0:05:49.040 being married and engaged, obviously, because being engaged is obviously 0:05:49.040 --> 0:05:50.760 just a promise saying I want to spend the rest 0:05:50.760 --> 0:05:53.040 of your month life with you. Let's work on this, 0:05:53.160 --> 0:05:55.520 let's get together and move forward with our relationship, where 0:05:55.560 --> 0:06:02.120 marriage is completely different. That is a mind bond that like, 0:06:02.200 --> 0:06:04.200 for example, if you break up while you're engaged, you 0:06:04.200 --> 0:06:06.520 can simply just say it didn't work out, let's move 0:06:06.520 --> 0:06:08.800 on with our lives. If you're married and you break up, 0:06:08.800 --> 0:06:14.200 there is a whole dement exactly, there's a huge Okay, 0:06:14.240 --> 0:06:18.480 so it's not a huge deal that engaged, they're married. 0:06:18.520 --> 0:06:19.760 It's a big deal, But it would have been a 0:06:19.760 --> 0:06:23.120 far bigger deal if they got eloped, if they got 0:06:23.120 --> 0:06:25.719 a looped, if they eloped, if they excuse me proper, 0:06:25.760 --> 0:06:28.120 and you know, I just wanted to make that was clear. Um, 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:29.640 I think it's just as big of a deal. I 0:06:29.680 --> 0:06:33.000 think an engagement is the more or less the same 0:06:33.000 --> 0:06:35.000 thing as a marriage, where it's like you're promising to 0:06:35.040 --> 0:06:37.000 spend the rest of your life to this person, committing 0:06:37.000 --> 0:06:40.560 and dedicating yourself to this person, and the engagement period 0:06:40.640 --> 0:06:42.720 is essentially it's like it's like escrow. It's like, well, 0:06:42.760 --> 0:06:45.279 maybe a little bit more serious in escrow, it's like, 0:06:45.360 --> 0:06:47.159 it's like the steps that are necessary in order to 0:06:47.160 --> 0:06:49.240 get to that point where you have the government involved 0:06:49.279 --> 0:06:52.000 telling you that you're right. It's like it's like a 0:06:52.000 --> 0:06:53.960 short amount of time. Um, And so I think it's 0:06:54.040 --> 0:06:56.080 very much the same thing. Granted, obviously, like Jared said, 0:06:56.080 --> 0:06:57.880 it's not necessarily as legal. You don't have to go 0:06:57.920 --> 0:07:00.520 through many steps to break it off of it god forbid, 0:07:00.560 --> 0:07:02.280 doesn't work out. But the way that I view it 0:07:02.360 --> 0:07:05.080 personally is an engagement is a marriage. Well, the way 0:07:05.120 --> 0:07:07.040 I view it is, an engagement is promising that you 0:07:07.040 --> 0:07:08.520 want to spend the rest of your life with someone, 0:07:08.520 --> 0:07:10.760 which is similar to marriage. But unfortunately, as we all 0:07:10.800 --> 0:07:13.520 well know, when you get married, it doesn't always work out. 0:07:13.560 --> 0:07:16.040 And so I do feel that there is for example, 0:07:16.440 --> 0:07:19.040 like Vanessa, not to use you as an example, but 0:07:19.360 --> 0:07:23.200 I'm going to for example for example, I mean, think 0:07:23.240 --> 0:07:25.760 about what happens if you got married to Nick. I mean, 0:07:25.760 --> 0:07:28.240 would the breakup be ten times harder if you were 0:07:28.240 --> 0:07:30.480 actually married to him rather than just engaged. Then there's 0:07:30.480 --> 0:07:33.119 like finances, finances involved in all that stuff. I guess, 0:07:33.120 --> 0:07:35.440 like maybe this might sound like a weird comparison because 0:07:35.440 --> 0:07:37.080 I'm kind of going through it, through it right now, 0:07:37.520 --> 0:07:41.240 and engagement could kind of be like the difference between 0:07:41.280 --> 0:07:44.120 renting a place and buying a place. You know, Like 0:07:44.160 --> 0:07:46.120 renting a place you kind of could get out of it. 0:07:46.240 --> 0:07:48.640 Buying a place you're like really invested in it, and 0:07:48.680 --> 0:07:50.360 you're like, oh, it's going to be you know, and 0:07:50.520 --> 0:07:52.440 let me think about my decision whether or not I 0:07:52.480 --> 0:07:57.680 want to. So you rented Nick, Well, yeah, so I'm 0:07:57.720 --> 0:08:00.120 looking for real estate right now. That's why I think 0:08:00.160 --> 0:08:02.640 that comparison. I don't want to I agree to a 0:08:02.680 --> 0:08:04.240 certain extent, but at the same time, I don't want 0:08:04.280 --> 0:08:06.040 to say that engagement is just a rental because it's not, 0:08:06.080 --> 0:08:10.040 because I'm also with Dean at this point there that 0:08:10.040 --> 0:08:13.520 that commitment is still there. Yes, I think that it's 0:08:13.560 --> 0:08:17.440 not as big of a commitment as dating is renting. 0:08:17.480 --> 0:08:21.880 I also think engagement is buying, but marriage is what's 0:08:21.880 --> 0:08:24.440 the next thing next to buying. Well, it's what Deed said, 0:08:24.440 --> 0:08:26.800 it's scrow. It's a year, ask grow or a year 0:08:26.840 --> 0:08:28.280 and a half, whatever it takes you to get married. 0:08:28.320 --> 0:08:31.200 I would agree, because of course, engagement is the symbolism 0:08:31.240 --> 0:08:33.600 of I want to spend the rest of my life 0:08:33.640 --> 0:08:37.120 with you. And so that's a huge, huge deal and 0:08:37.120 --> 0:08:40.240 should not be taken lightly. But of course I think 0:08:40.280 --> 0:08:43.400 that marriage is a bigger deal. If that makes sense. 0:08:43.559 --> 0:08:45.760 Of course I will, I will. I don't think those 0:08:45.800 --> 0:08:50.000 two things are equal. How long is the ideal time 0:08:50.080 --> 0:08:53.080 to be in a relationship before a person proposes? And Jared, 0:08:53.120 --> 0:08:56.880 this is a particularly a pertinent question for you relationship 0:08:57.040 --> 0:09:01.400 that seems very um loving and straw, very strong, very loving. 0:09:01.440 --> 0:09:04.120 I'm the luckiest guy, Yes you are so. But for everybody, 0:09:04.160 --> 0:09:06.360 what is the ideal time? And your in your imagination? 0:09:06.800 --> 0:09:15.320 Uh oh, yes, who usually jumped in here, whatever Jared says, 0:09:15.360 --> 0:09:17.280 in that amount of time, we're gonna be like, okay, Jared, 0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:19.160 and you said eight months, and it's eight months into 0:09:19.200 --> 0:09:21.400 the relationship. I think it's also a different thing between 0:09:21.440 --> 0:09:23.400 Ashley and myself for the simple fact we've known each 0:09:23.400 --> 0:09:26.840 other for three years. So well, what I'm saying is 0:09:26.920 --> 0:09:30.200 that you know, yes, we've dated for about three or 0:09:30.240 --> 0:09:33.120 four months, but we've also known each other for a 0:09:33.120 --> 0:09:36.160 far longer time and have has had have had a 0:09:36.280 --> 0:09:39.120 very close relationship since the time we've met for over 0:09:39.160 --> 0:09:41.560 three years. So I know almost everything there is to 0:09:41.559 --> 0:09:43.680 know about Ashley she knows almost everything there is to 0:09:43.720 --> 0:09:46.720 know about me, So it's more so we're very comfortable 0:09:46.760 --> 0:09:48.600 with you. It's almost like you guys have a Benjamin 0:09:48.600 --> 0:09:51.040 Button relationship where the first three years of your relationship 0:09:51.080 --> 0:09:53.319 was purely platonic. It's like your old and old married 0:09:53.360 --> 0:09:55.600 couple that has like no physical interest in each other. 0:09:55.960 --> 0:09:57.640 And now you guys are all like hot and heavy 0:09:57.679 --> 0:09:59.920 and are able to like be super into each other. 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:03.720 It's fantastic. Um. So, I think the ideal time kind 0:10:03.720 --> 0:10:05.960 of depends. You should probably know the person for at 0:10:06.040 --> 0:10:09.560 least a year. You should know them whether dating, you know, 0:10:09.600 --> 0:10:11.560 that's kind of semetics. I think you should know them 0:10:11.559 --> 0:10:14.240 in some capacity for at least a year. Well, so, 0:10:14.280 --> 0:10:16.800 you never gave us a time frame though, Jared, you 0:10:16.840 --> 0:10:18.560 never said this is how long I think you should 0:10:18.600 --> 0:10:21.000 be in a relationship before you're able. But you know, 0:10:21.160 --> 0:10:23.400 I said, no, the person for at least a year. 0:10:23.880 --> 0:10:26.120 I mean, here's the thing. Probably maybe you can give 0:10:26.160 --> 0:10:31.199 a few months, but a time now I'm just saying, 0:10:31.280 --> 0:10:35.800 I'm just saying, wow, So according to my watch, three 0:10:35.840 --> 0:10:38.120 to four months, it's I don't know, how Mark, how 0:10:38.160 --> 0:10:39.680 long do you think you're shaking your head no, I 0:10:39.720 --> 0:10:41.840 say two years. And I said this with the other 0:10:41.960 --> 0:10:43.720 the morning show staff this morning, and I got some 0:10:43.840 --> 0:10:47.280 I got some disapproving headshakes. Dating for two two years. 0:10:47.320 --> 0:10:49.240 I think date for two years, no matter what, because 0:10:49.240 --> 0:10:51.000 in two years, you figure out everything there was to 0:10:51.040 --> 0:10:53.080 know about the other person. You go through everything together, 0:10:53.240 --> 0:10:55.240 all the holidays, all the ups and the downs of 0:10:55.240 --> 0:10:57.480 a relationship. With two years, you know if it's right 0:10:57.559 --> 0:11:00.160 or not, the holidays, holidays. I like that. That's like 0:11:00.200 --> 0:11:02.160 to go through all the holidays twice, and not only that, 0:11:02.200 --> 0:11:03.840 because you have to go through a second time to 0:11:03.840 --> 0:11:07.040 see if they learned the mistakes from the first. Because 0:11:07.040 --> 0:11:09.360 as an indicator for a future success in a relationship. 0:11:09.400 --> 0:11:11.280 By figure, I was going to say one year, but 0:11:11.280 --> 0:11:12.719 I like the two year mark. I think that's good. 0:11:12.760 --> 0:11:15.400 I think I'll stick by one year. I think one 0:11:15.480 --> 0:11:17.120 year in a relationship with someone is enough to know 0:11:17.160 --> 0:11:19.640 about them. I think it depends the older you get, 0:11:19.760 --> 0:11:22.080 like I think, the more you know what you want 0:11:22.160 --> 0:11:25.480 and what you don't want in a relationship. So I 0:11:25.520 --> 0:11:27.319 don't know. I would say two years for me at 0:11:27.360 --> 0:11:29.840 this point would probably be a little bit too long. 0:11:30.559 --> 0:11:32.880 I would probably know after the first year of dating 0:11:32.920 --> 0:11:34.240 that person if I want to be with them for 0:11:34.240 --> 0:11:35.560 the rest of my life or not, because I'm not 0:11:35.520 --> 0:11:37.959 gonna want to waste my time or their time. Let 0:11:37.960 --> 0:11:41.000 me ask you this mark so question. Say somebody knows 0:11:41.040 --> 0:11:44.200 each other for like six months, gets engaged, but their 0:11:44.200 --> 0:11:46.960 engagement is two years long, and after that they're like, 0:11:47.040 --> 0:11:49.679 we're still So they've known each other for two and 0:11:49.720 --> 0:11:52.080 a half years before they get married. I mean, to 0:11:52.160 --> 0:11:54.240 each their own. You know, I'm not gonna be judging anybody, 0:11:54.240 --> 0:11:57.720 but I do believe that there's no reason to rush. 0:11:57.800 --> 0:11:59.880 I don't understand the rush because people say, well, when 0:11:59.880 --> 0:12:01.520 you no, you know, we just had to get married, 0:12:01.559 --> 0:12:03.480 But why not stick it out for a couple of years. 0:12:03.520 --> 0:12:06.440 You're still together, it's still a relationship. Who cares when 0:12:06.480 --> 0:12:14.400 you clock on the wedding taxes? When yeah, that's true, 0:12:14.400 --> 0:12:16.360 part of that clock is ticking. Then I understand the 0:12:16.360 --> 0:12:21.560 biological for it. I'm isn't the number like thirty five 0:12:21.640 --> 0:12:26.199 or like I think that's moving I think it's moving older. 0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:29.400 But the technical definition of a geriatric pregnancy is thirty five. 0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:31.440 I think I think that. Um, I will say that 0:12:31.480 --> 0:12:34.080 when I was thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, years old. I always 0:12:34.080 --> 0:12:35.319 thought that I was gonna be married and have kids 0:12:35.360 --> 0:12:37.240 by the time I was four years old, So my 0:12:37.280 --> 0:12:41.120 timelines are always messed up. Like I'm twenty seven now, right, 0:12:41.160 --> 0:12:42.679 So I'm saying I want to be in a relationship. 0:12:42.720 --> 0:12:44.680 I think one years an appropriate amount of time. But 0:12:44.679 --> 0:12:46.320 watch when I'm twenty nine, I'll be in a relationship 0:12:46.360 --> 0:12:47.880 for three weeks like Ariana and Pete and be like, 0:12:47.880 --> 0:12:49.839 all right, we're getting married, you know. Like I'm just 0:12:49.880 --> 0:12:53.080 saying I can do that. I can honestly see myself 0:12:53.080 --> 0:12:57.520 doing that too. Yeah, I know, I totally agree. Viness. 0:12:57.520 --> 0:12:59.200 I'm sorry you're gonna say your timelines all messed up? 0:13:00.000 --> 0:13:02.320 All my timeline, Yeah, well it is. It's done. My 0:13:02.360 --> 0:13:03.920 timeline done. I thought by the age of thirty I 0:13:03.920 --> 0:13:06.080 would have been married with at least one kid. I'm 0:13:06.160 --> 0:13:09.160 turning thirty one in a couple of months and nowhere 0:13:09.200 --> 0:13:11.120 near that. That's a question for you. So on the 0:13:11.400 --> 0:13:12.920 I don't know if you watch Batchelor that last night, 0:13:12.960 --> 0:13:16.679 but on the show, uh, Tia and Colton kind of 0:13:16.800 --> 0:13:19.480 talked about their former relationship before Colton came on the show. 0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:22.160 To date Becca, if you were to date someone and 0:13:22.200 --> 0:13:24.040 found out that they had dated one of your close 0:13:24.080 --> 0:13:30.800 friends before dating you. How would you feel about it? Oh, okay, 0:13:30.120 --> 0:13:34.800 I don't. It depends on how uh connected I am 0:13:34.880 --> 0:13:39.000 to that person. Um, I don't know. If I would, 0:13:39.040 --> 0:13:42.120 I would obviously off the bat. I wouldn't feel comfortable 0:13:42.160 --> 0:13:44.680 and I would like to know the reasons why. You 0:13:44.760 --> 0:13:46.360 kind of have like an insight, you know, you can 0:13:46.360 --> 0:13:48.760 ask the person why didn't work out, how, how are 0:13:48.800 --> 0:13:51.760 they blah blah blah blah, and get like information from 0:13:51.760 --> 0:13:56.280 that person. I wouldn't write that person off, but for me, 0:13:56.320 --> 0:13:58.240 it would to kind of be like a little bit, 0:13:58.240 --> 0:13:59.880 a little bit of a red flag at the beginning, 0:14:00.440 --> 0:14:02.120 something that I wouldn't want to have to deal with, 0:14:02.320 --> 0:14:04.480 Like I didn't want to have to know this information. 0:14:04.520 --> 0:14:06.800 It's an added obstacle, I guess in the relationship, of course, 0:14:06.800 --> 0:14:08.319 And the question for me would be, what the hell 0:14:08.480 --> 0:14:10.360 was the relationship between you and my friend before you 0:14:10.360 --> 0:14:12.080 started dating me? Because it was if it? Is it 0:14:12.160 --> 0:14:14.760 like a one night thing that happened that emotions ran high? 0:14:14.840 --> 0:14:17.120 Was it a weekend? Was it two months? Was it 0:14:17.280 --> 0:14:20.680 three years? Where you guys in love exclusive? Like? It 0:14:20.720 --> 0:14:22.800 all depends on the situation. Because if you if like 0:14:23.040 --> 0:14:26.720 a girl like yeah, it's a bad example because I 0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:28.680 was gonna say if actually dated somebody one of my friends, 0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:30.240 and I'm like, well, we're in the bachelor world, so 0:14:30.240 --> 0:14:33.120 I kind of did. Um. And so but if like 0:14:33.160 --> 0:14:35.320 a girl who I was interested in dated one of 0:14:35.320 --> 0:14:37.360 my friends beforehand, she was like, hey, listen, we spent 0:14:37.440 --> 0:14:40.320 a couple of days together, didn't really work out. Um, 0:14:40.400 --> 0:14:42.120 and that was like two months ago, but like, sure, 0:14:42.160 --> 0:14:44.160 that's fine. Who cares what? I don't care at all. 0:14:44.280 --> 0:14:46.480 With the Colton Tia situation, that makes it a little 0:14:46.480 --> 0:14:48.920 bit different is that Colton probably clearly knew that Tia 0:14:49.000 --> 0:14:51.600 was almost the Bachelorette, and for some reason, whoever talked 0:14:51.600 --> 0:14:54.520 to who first like Colton was about to be on 0:14:54.560 --> 0:14:57.080 the Bachelorette. He thought Tia was gonna be the Bachelorette, 0:14:57.400 --> 0:14:59.880 and then a month later she wasn't. Colton's on the show, 0:15:00.640 --> 0:15:03.120 and now he's there. For it was a very obvious 0:15:03.160 --> 0:15:06.560 attempt at collusion that failed. It did seem didn't seem 0:15:06.600 --> 0:15:09.120 like something was weird about, like because nothing was solved 0:15:09.520 --> 0:15:12.680 about the whole Colon Colton t situation last night. Nothing 0:15:12.720 --> 0:15:15.040 was solved at all it was just Tia was like, yeah, 0:15:15.080 --> 0:15:17.760 we dated for a little while, and then Calton was like, yeah, 0:15:17.800 --> 0:15:19.720 it was a weekend, but the timing wasn't right, and 0:15:19.760 --> 0:15:22.080 so now I'm here and I'm here fully Rebecca, and 0:15:22.120 --> 0:15:24.080 Becca was like adamant about how she was going to 0:15:24.120 --> 0:15:25.520 get to the bottom of this and she needed to 0:15:25.520 --> 0:15:27.960 know everything. And then it just seemed like there was 0:15:28.000 --> 0:15:30.320 no resolution, and Becca was like, oh, that's perfect, here's 0:15:30.360 --> 0:15:33.200 the group date Rose. I was like, whoa, what happened? 0:15:33.680 --> 0:15:38.080 He got a group date Rose? After like apparently everything 0:15:38.080 --> 0:15:40.120 was solved when it really nothing changed. Like all we 0:15:40.160 --> 0:15:43.600 know is that Colon kind of spent a weekend with 0:15:43.640 --> 0:15:47.440 Tia during casting for the Bachelorette when he apparently Tea 0:15:47.520 --> 0:15:50.280 was in the running for the Bachelorette. Obviously the timing 0:15:50.280 --> 0:15:52.920 didn't work out because she didn't become the Bachelorette. I 0:15:52.920 --> 0:15:58.320 don't really, it was just there was no talk about yes, 0:15:59.600 --> 0:16:05.240 Gordon's sources. Okay, Well, if he actively went out to 0:16:05.320 --> 0:16:08.160 find her on social media and mess with her and 0:16:08.200 --> 0:16:09.880 slide into her d M s then I'd be like, 0:16:09.920 --> 0:16:12.640 that's a little scufty, But it was the reverse. I 0:16:12.640 --> 0:16:18.240 wouldn't what are the odds that Tia, who was in 0:16:18.280 --> 0:16:21.080 the running to become the Bachelorette, just so happened to 0:16:21.240 --> 0:16:23.880 slide into the d M s of a guy who 0:16:23.960 --> 0:16:25.880 was almost on her season. I mean, how did she 0:16:25.960 --> 0:16:28.480 know that? This story was explained to me and I 0:16:28.480 --> 0:16:30.800 wish I could remember more clearly, but that's how it works. 0:16:30.840 --> 0:16:34.720 Sometimes maybe she because Colton did know, or maybe this 0:16:34.800 --> 0:16:36.240 was after the show I guess I had even filmed 0:16:36.280 --> 0:16:38.400 in the first place. But I don't I'm not that 0:16:38.880 --> 0:16:40.680 flown away by it. Like maybe it was a very 0:16:40.680 --> 0:16:43.320 like inconspicuous DM, like a ha ha like at like 0:16:43.360 --> 0:16:44.920 as to a story response or something like that, and 0:16:44.920 --> 0:16:47.120 then that kind of snowballed into a convers So how 0:16:47.120 --> 0:16:49.520 did Tia know who Colton was? That wasn't the in 0:16:49.520 --> 0:16:53.920 the spotlight beforehand? He dated Ali Raisman, he played football professionally. Yes, um, 0:16:53.960 --> 0:16:55.800 so it's not out of the room possible, It's not. 0:16:55.920 --> 0:16:58.000 It would be like different than if someone that was 0:16:58.000 --> 0:16:59.760 potentially going to be the Bachelorette d M one of 0:16:59.840 --> 0:17:02.760 us beforehand, because we were nobodies. Yes, no, I agree, 0:17:02.800 --> 0:17:06.679 still aren't nobodies, but nobodies. Um. But I think the 0:17:06.720 --> 0:17:08.760 only thing with Becca is that she was so adamant 0:17:08.800 --> 0:17:11.119 about finding out and it was it just seemed like 0:17:11.119 --> 0:17:13.840 there was no resolution, like we still don't know who 0:17:13.880 --> 0:17:15.920 talked to who first. Because you're right, I think it's 0:17:16.320 --> 0:17:19.080 it's far better if Tia reached out to Colin, and 0:17:19.160 --> 0:17:22.480 it adds a little bit, a little ease to the 0:17:22.480 --> 0:17:24.320 whole situation. So you we want to see the receipts 0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:26.439 before we can. Yeah, don't you know? I mean that 0:17:26.960 --> 0:17:32.120 wouldn't you you? Yes? But I mean I'm a I'm response, 0:17:32.400 --> 0:17:35.120 I've what am I trying to say? I'm guilty of 0:17:35.520 --> 0:17:37.840 dating someone that has also dated one of my friends 0:17:37.880 --> 0:17:39.760 before dating me. There's nothing wrong with that, But the 0:17:39.800 --> 0:17:41.719 fact is, you're on a TV show. So I think 0:17:41.760 --> 0:17:44.560 for Becca, Becca wants to know. Listen, Carlton, did you 0:17:44.680 --> 0:17:46.920 not date Tia because she wasn't the Bachelorette? Or did 0:17:46.920 --> 0:17:48.760 you not date Tia because he didn't have feelings for 0:17:48.960 --> 0:17:50.800 I guess? I mean, listen. The people who are on 0:17:50.840 --> 0:17:54.200 the show regardless, are there for you know? Okay, did 0:17:54.240 --> 0:17:56.439 you guys go on the show to find love? No, 0:17:56.600 --> 0:17:59.080 you won't a part of it, but of course you 0:17:59.119 --> 0:18:00.600 go on for the experience, and you go on for 0:18:00.640 --> 0:18:04.600 the exposure you're going for a multitude of reason. He 0:18:04.760 --> 0:18:07.840 just happened to have known someone else prior to that. 0:18:08.080 --> 0:18:11.040 I agree, I'm just playing Devil's advocate. I respect it 0:18:11.080 --> 0:18:13.200