WEBVTT - America's Next Cop Model: Motherf*ckin Mini Episode

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<v Speaker 1>Motherfucking mini episode, mini episode, motherfucking mini episode.

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<v Speaker 2>Miss Independent.

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<v Speaker 3>That's why I love her.

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<v Speaker 2>There it is, Ladies and gentlemen, holcome to another phenomenal

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<v Speaker 2>episode of My Mama Told Me.

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<v Speaker 3>The podcast where we dive deep into the pockets of

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<v Speaker 3>black conspiracy theories and.

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<v Speaker 2>We finally worked to prove the theories that you the listener

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<v Speaker 2>have at home. As a motherfucking mini episode.

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<v Speaker 3>Let's go what's up busting babies?

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<v Speaker 2>What's up busting babies and busting bay beets?

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<v Speaker 3>I assume a term that never quite caught on. I

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<v Speaker 3>think the way that he wanted it to listen.

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<v Speaker 2>Plai has had a lot of vision for us that

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<v Speaker 2>I don't think caught fire as much as he was hoping.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, some stuff caught on. Sweet Pussy Saturdays, fun time,

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<v Speaker 3>m m m hm.

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<v Speaker 2>He's he's very political in a way that I don't

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<v Speaker 2>think people remember a lot of his When he's not

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<v Speaker 2>asking to see your pussies, he is encouraging you to

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<v Speaker 2>vote and vote logically, and that's that's always interesting to hear.

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<v Speaker 2>Applies it's thoughts on voter responsibility.

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<v Speaker 3>Hey, y'all, I'm here to say you can love pussy

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<v Speaker 3>and want to vote.

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<v Speaker 2>That's cool, that's cool.

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<v Speaker 3>I like that.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, thank you, Thank you, David Borian, Thank you plies

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<v Speaker 2>for for the new campaign you boys started. Uh.

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<v Speaker 3>I'd rather not be affiliated for business reasons, but I.

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<v Speaker 2>Think I think what you're doing is important and I'm

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<v Speaker 2>excited to see the results in the next election.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, they want you to rock the vote. Why are

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<v Speaker 3>you cocked the vote? Now? I hated it. I hated it.

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<v Speaker 3>I hate it. I hated it as soon as it

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<v Speaker 3>started to come out. All right, it's a weird day

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<v Speaker 3>over here.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a weird day. We took on. We took on

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<v Speaker 2>an email we had no business taking on, and here

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<v Speaker 2>we are taking on a new one.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, this one's gonna be good.

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<v Speaker 2>Though, this one's going to be great. You want to

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<v Speaker 2>read it.

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<v Speaker 3>I will read it, all right, this one comes to us.

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<v Speaker 3>I won't say their name.

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<v Speaker 2>I think you can. They wrote it at the bottom

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<v Speaker 2>unless they're saying otherwise.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, I saw, Yeah, you're right, you're right. I saw

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<v Speaker 3>at the top. Because a lot of the people, they

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<v Speaker 3>act like we can't see their name at the top

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<v Speaker 3>of the thing.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so we have to scroll before we say it, just.

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<v Speaker 3>To make sure. Yeah, but anyway, So Brie all right,

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah this came from Brie since on July fourth, which

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<v Speaker 3>is an interesting day to do anything other than eat

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<v Speaker 3>hot dogs.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, nine pm, everybody else was black out drunk watching

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<v Speaker 2>fireworks was like I got my mind email.

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<v Speaker 3>A little too much of the irk and jerk, and

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<v Speaker 3>you wanted to let us know how you feel. And

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<v Speaker 3>I appreciate it. You know, I'm glad you spent your

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<v Speaker 3>holiday thinking about Uh. The title says cop your Way

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<v Speaker 3>to the Top.

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<v Speaker 2>I like a title. That's nice.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that's a good time. Hello Olivia, who I know?

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<v Speaker 3>I r l David loved the Patreon stuff and Langston

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<v Speaker 3>I guess dot dot com. Wow, come on, why did

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<v Speaker 3>they come at your neck like that?

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<v Speaker 2>For a fuck you?

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<v Speaker 1>Bree?

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<v Speaker 2>I r l oh be doing nothing to nobody. How

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<v Speaker 2>does he minded my fucking business, trying to make my

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<v Speaker 2>little silly art and have fun with my friends. And

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<v Speaker 2>here she come being like, I guess.

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<v Speaker 3>You don't even have like mean opinions on here. I

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<v Speaker 3>don't get anything. I say. The more outlandish thing.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm on here that you have slur, but most of

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<v Speaker 2>your slurs get cut out.

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<v Speaker 3>And that's shout out to Justin by the way.

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<v Speaker 2>Shout out to just our phenomenal editor who who doesn't

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<v Speaker 2>often believe in the magic that he's doing, but he's doing.

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<v Speaker 2>He's doing very magical things for us.

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<v Speaker 3>He's kept me at the job because, let me tell you,

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<v Speaker 3>I Will Ferrell got winded some of the ship I've

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<v Speaker 3>dropped on here.

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<v Speaker 2>Bory only knows slurs about the Swedes. And and we

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<v Speaker 2>know how much Will Ferrell likes them.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that's the problem. That's his name. Yeah, he does

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<v Speaker 3>love them. I don't trust him too far north. All right,

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<v Speaker 3>I read this scandalous longtime little mama here, curious about

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<v Speaker 3>you guys' take on the black cop phenomenon. Hate him.

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<v Speaker 3>I've noticed the that was not fair. I've noticed the

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<v Speaker 3>black I've noticed the black cop character and countless white

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<v Speaker 3>slash mainstream TV shows and movies Brooklyn, My Nine, I, Zombie,

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<v Speaker 3>I Robot, Inside Man, Bad Boys, Beverly Hills, Cop, White Chicks,

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<v Speaker 3>Criminal Minds, Training Day, et cetera, et cetera. Think about it.

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<v Speaker 3>Your favorite black actor has probably definitely played a cop

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<v Speaker 3>in something. My theory related to this is twofold. The

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<v Speaker 3>media is trying to one make playing a cop character

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<v Speaker 3>a prerequisite for black stardom and two normalized police brutality

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<v Speaker 3>and further convince us that black cops are the ones

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<v Speaker 3>doing the most violence against the general public. Curious what

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<v Speaker 3>you guys think, bre.

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<v Speaker 2>Damn well, I still hate your guts free, but I

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<v Speaker 2>do this is this is a lot to think about.

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<v Speaker 3>It is the way I want to jump my feet

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<v Speaker 3>in the water. Is like I feel like, specifically, if

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<v Speaker 3>you're like around our age.

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<v Speaker 2>We.

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<v Speaker 3>Grew up and this is like just a very general view.

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<v Speaker 3>We grew up in a time where like police were

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<v Speaker 3>really glorified within the media, maybe more like you look

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<v Speaker 3>at like like I mean, there were always like cop

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<v Speaker 3>television shows and shit like that, But I feel like

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<v Speaker 3>in the seventies and eighties it was a lot less

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<v Speaker 3>heroic than it was viewed in the movies of our time.

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<v Speaker 3>I'll like, the the lethal weapons of it all, where

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<v Speaker 3>like we grew up watching a lot of movies where

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<v Speaker 3>they just killed a cops killed a shitload of bad guys, right,

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<v Speaker 3>that's what they did. I was talking about leave the

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<v Speaker 3>weapon with my friend the other day. It's like they're

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<v Speaker 3>just killing people over and over again. So in that

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<v Speaker 3>there are a lot of black men, black male actors

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<v Speaker 3>who had to be cops. But I feel like they

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<v Speaker 3>did it to a ton of white guys too. How

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<v Speaker 3>many movies is Bruce willis a cop type guy? You

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<v Speaker 3>know what I'm saying, like.

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<v Speaker 2>A Gibson before we stopped.

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<v Speaker 3>So like, I don't know if it is, at least immediately,

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<v Speaker 3>it makes me feel like maybe it's not a black

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<v Speaker 3>thing as much as it's like a time thing.

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<v Speaker 2>But I do think that there's a very clear history

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<v Speaker 2>in Hollywood of infantilizing police in general. Right that, like

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<v Speaker 2>we're constantly making police sexy and cool and the guys

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<v Speaker 2>that were meant to be rooting for. And I think

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<v Speaker 2>that that's existed in entertainment for a long time. And

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<v Speaker 2>then I do agree that there had there sort of

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<v Speaker 2>like this big wave of a swaggering black officer, specifically

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<v Speaker 2>black men I think had a big run in that

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<v Speaker 2>nineties and two thousands of like being like the cool

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<v Speaker 2>black cop who comes in and does the thing. I

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<v Speaker 2>would say that I started this conspiracy gets me thinking

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<v Speaker 2>about how recently a lot of what I've watched it's

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<v Speaker 2>been black women being made to be police officers in

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<v Speaker 2>a way that feels equally manipulative, although I haven't fully

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<v Speaker 2>landed what the manipulation is yet.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, you wonder about it.

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<v Speaker 4>I also am curious because I don't know the percentage

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<v Speaker 4>of black people on the police force in a home.

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<v Speaker 4>I have to assum it's it feels like a pretty

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<v Speaker 4>high number. Oh really, you think it's like a substantial number.

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<v Speaker 4>I would assumm, it's less than our percentage in the population.

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<v Speaker 3>In the population, I think, I would. I would question

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<v Speaker 3>where we're talking about. You don't feel like you see

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<v Speaker 3>a lot of black cops in New York.

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<v Speaker 2>But New York's not global like New York is its

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<v Speaker 2>own like ship because like La, it's not like a

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<v Speaker 2>fuck ton of black cops everywhere, and certainly Nebraska ain't

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<v Speaker 2>churning them out. I would it's you know, at a

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<v Speaker 2>high click.

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<v Speaker 3>Right, But there's not a lot of black people that

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know if that's true. Man, there's black people

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<v Speaker 3>in Nebraska. I don't mean to be like guy in

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<v Speaker 3>the real world world. Oh there's a link thing.

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<v Speaker 2>We're calling upon you because we have we have new merch.

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<v Speaker 2>We have very exciting merch that we are now selling

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<v Speaker 2>and it's it's fucking great.

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<v Speaker 3>We love it. So much just sleek. It's sexy.

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<v Speaker 2>Come on, you want to tell them what we have?

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, we have three different types of hats, which is

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<v Speaker 3>really fun. We have a two tone hat, an alien

0:10:12.520 --> 0:10:16.000
<v Speaker 3>dad hat, the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then

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<v Speaker 3>we have the enamel pin with an alien who has

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<v Speaker 3>a koofie on it since my mama told me. And

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<v Speaker 3>then we have t shirts that say proud little Mama,

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<v Speaker 3>which is who you are.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you can buy the merch now, go to my

0:10:27.840 --> 0:10:31.240
<v Speaker 2>mama told me dot merch table dot com. It's a

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<v Speaker 2>brand new name, but it's the same old merch and

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<v Speaker 2>we would love for you to get some if you

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<v Speaker 2>haven't got it already, and we want you to have

0:10:39.160 --> 0:10:45.920
<v Speaker 2>all the sweet stuff, so get it. I like what

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<v Speaker 2>Brie is saying, though I still don't like breathe about

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<v Speaker 2>the idea of sort of like presenting this this sort

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<v Speaker 2>of image to the world. And I wonder if some

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<v Speaker 2>of the manipulation that's being shown as Lee about like

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<v Speaker 2>convincing them that black people are responsible for their own

0:11:04.520 --> 0:11:09.679
<v Speaker 2>police brutality, but instead being able to feel safe in

0:11:09.960 --> 0:11:15.320
<v Speaker 2>sort of like telling sort of these these complicated, often

0:11:15.440 --> 0:11:19.679
<v Speaker 2>problematic stories where police are the heroes without feeling like

0:11:19.800 --> 0:11:24.280
<v Speaker 2>you are elevating a white person beyond the law. Do

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<v Speaker 2>you know what I mean That, Like, if you make

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<v Speaker 2>it a black lady instead of a white man, suddenly

0:11:29.520 --> 0:11:33.040
<v Speaker 2>her getting away with these crimes feels less like a

0:11:33.480 --> 0:11:36.599
<v Speaker 2>true spin in the face to the victims of the

0:11:36.679 --> 0:11:40.920
<v Speaker 2>crimes and more like this complicated dance of like you know,

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<v Speaker 2>social expectations and shit.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I mean, I wish we had more facts about

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<v Speaker 3>this one, because it is like, because I do think

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<v Speaker 3>about if the idea of like I've seen like a

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<v Speaker 3>lot of jolly black cops in media, right, like the

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<v Speaker 3>raginal Vel Johnson's of you know, sure, but I don't

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<v Speaker 3>think that in media, I feel like I see black

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<v Speaker 3>cops portrayed as being more brutal than white cops.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, except for Boys in the Hood and House Party,

0:12:18.160 --> 0:12:20.800
<v Speaker 2>House Party that were white cops. But yeah, yeah, boys

0:12:20.840 --> 0:12:22.480
<v Speaker 2>in the Hood, I would say, is maybe the most

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<v Speaker 2>like black guy doing it to black people kind of energy.

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<v Speaker 2>And that was kind of the point that Singleton was.

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<v Speaker 3>Making, right, But for the most part, I think it's

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<v Speaker 3>like the idea of like a Will Smith cop, right,

0:12:36.480 --> 0:12:39.760
<v Speaker 3>you know, it's just cool black guy doing board cop.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, he is a fucking I beat this out

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<v Speaker 2>of Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah. I feel like it's like like I feel like

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<v Speaker 3>I feel like the really, the really kind of fucked

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<v Speaker 3>up cops is still most I mean, obviously there's like

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<v Speaker 3>training day, but I think of like a like a

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<v Speaker 3>McNulty or whatever from the white you know what I mean.

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<v Speaker 3>I feel like that's still kind of like lots yeah

0:13:01.240 --> 0:13:05.480
<v Speaker 3>white guys. But I don't know. But ultimately, I where

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<v Speaker 3>do I sit on this? I think it's a good theory.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't mind it me. Here's what I'll saying. I

0:13:11.600 --> 0:13:15.920
<v Speaker 2>don't like Cops. I've been pretty blatant about it, I

0:13:16.040 --> 0:13:19.319
<v Speaker 2>think throughout a lot of our episodes. But I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>a fan of the work. I'm not a fan of

0:13:21.720 --> 0:13:24.280
<v Speaker 2>the product of the work. I don't think that they

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<v Speaker 2>hold any real value in our society in the way

0:13:28.360 --> 0:13:32.719
<v Speaker 2>that they are often portrayed to hold. And so I

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<v Speaker 2>do believe in a constant manipulation as it relates to

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<v Speaker 2>making cops seem good or valuable despite all the evidence

0:13:43.559 --> 0:13:47.439
<v Speaker 2>showing otherwise. And so like, yeah, if you tell me

0:13:47.520 --> 0:13:51.040
<v Speaker 2>that they're making black people police because it helps push

0:13:51.080 --> 0:13:52.360
<v Speaker 2>a narrative, I believe that.

0:13:54.320 --> 0:13:55.880
<v Speaker 3>I'm gonna go with my man on this one.

0:13:56.400 --> 0:14:00.920
<v Speaker 2>Same Yeah, so Bree, fuck you and fuck the I

0:14:01.080 --> 0:14:04.800
<v Speaker 2>think is maybe the big takeaway here. And sure black

0:14:04.840 --> 0:14:06.680
<v Speaker 2>police can get it too. Fuck y'all.

0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:11.000
<v Speaker 3>Yep, and Bri you're a lovely woman. That's just my

0:14:11.559 --> 0:14:19.120
<v Speaker 3>special August first, twelve dollars, no discount, no no, no,

0:14:19.200 --> 0:14:20.480
<v Speaker 3>no little.

0:14:20.360 --> 0:14:24.200
<v Speaker 2>Kind words you're spreading. I get you any cheaper viewings

0:14:24.280 --> 0:14:26.520
<v Speaker 2>of the of the old Patreon.

0:14:31.800 --> 0:14:33.760
<v Speaker 3>That being said, Langston, would you like to tell the

0:14:33.800 --> 0:14:35.680
<v Speaker 3>people what cool things you have going and where they

0:14:35.720 --> 0:14:36.200
<v Speaker 3>can find you?

0:14:36.520 --> 0:14:37.440
<v Speaker 1>I like saying that.

0:14:37.680 --> 0:14:40.120
<v Speaker 3>I know that it's your line, but sometimes when I

0:14:40.160 --> 0:14:41.560
<v Speaker 3>get to jump in and say it, I like I

0:14:41.720 --> 0:14:42.440
<v Speaker 3>like the way you.

0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:46.840
<v Speaker 2>Brother, what's mine is yours, what's yours is mine?

0:14:46.920 --> 0:14:49.440
<v Speaker 3>You do what you want. We should we should record

0:14:49.480 --> 0:14:52.200
<v Speaker 3>an opposite day one day where you're David and I'm Lens.

0:14:53.440 --> 0:14:55.560
<v Speaker 2>I only work on your laugh. I feel like you're

0:14:55.760 --> 0:14:59.920
<v Speaker 2>very signature in being able to beat you, but I.

0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:02.400
<v Speaker 3>I'll work on your smoldering sense of evil while still

0:15:02.400 --> 0:15:03.360
<v Speaker 3>being a pretty good guy.

0:15:04.200 --> 0:15:07.000
<v Speaker 2>Okay, it sounds like we both have a lot of

0:15:07.080 --> 0:15:07.520
<v Speaker 2>work to do.

0:15:07.920 --> 0:15:09.000
<v Speaker 3>We got small merchants.

0:15:13.160 --> 0:15:15.120
<v Speaker 2>You can follow me at Langston Kerman. And you can

0:15:15.160 --> 0:15:19.240
<v Speaker 2>see my special August twentieth on Netflix. It's called Bad Poetry.

0:15:19.760 --> 0:15:21.840
<v Speaker 2>It's really cool. John Mulaney directed it.

0:15:22.200 --> 0:15:22.920
<v Speaker 3>Go check it out.

0:15:23.000 --> 0:15:25.040
<v Speaker 2>And if you want to send us your own drops,

0:15:25.120 --> 0:15:28.520
<v Speaker 2>your own conspiracy theories. If you want to customery out,

0:15:28.600 --> 0:15:31.720
<v Speaker 2>to send it all to my Mama pod at gmail

0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:32.080
<v Speaker 2>dot com.

0:15:32.200 --> 0:15:32.760
<v Speaker 3>We would love to.

0:15:32.800 --> 0:15:37.440
<v Speaker 2>Hear from you. Like subscribe by the merch, watch the

0:15:37.560 --> 0:15:41.400
<v Speaker 2>YouTube videos. Tell a friend to tell a friend, and

0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:45.320
<v Speaker 2>most importantly, pull a cops gun out of their holster

0:15:45.480 --> 0:15:46.480
<v Speaker 2>and have some fun.

0:15:46.840 --> 0:15:52.560
<v Speaker 3>All right, say what blood you were going crazy? You

0:15:52.640 --> 0:16:00.560
<v Speaker 3>were going you're going crazy. I had to get you

0:16:00.680 --> 0:16:01.720
<v Speaker 3>out of there as a friend.

0:16:03.920 --> 0:16:06.640
<v Speaker 2>Just rip it out and see what they do. I

0:16:06.760 --> 0:16:10.240
<v Speaker 2>bet they turned into cowards. I bet their energy shifts

0:16:10.280 --> 0:16:15.320
<v Speaker 2>all of a sudden, real fast. Anyway, all right, we

0:16:15.480 --> 0:16:15.720
<v Speaker 2>did it.

0:16:15.920 --> 0:16:16.400
<v Speaker 3>Bye bitch.

0:16:20.040 --> 0:16:31.360
<v Speaker 1>Motherfucking Mini EPI so mini episode, motherfucking Mini epis, motherfucking

0:16:31.480 --> 0:16:37.640
<v Speaker 1>Mini ever SL Mini episode, motherfucking Mini ever SL