1 00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:04,280 Speaker 1: Hi. This is Laura Vanderkam. I'm a mother of four, 2 00:00:04,600 --> 00:00:08,479 Speaker 1: an author, journalist, and speaker. And this is Sarah Hart Hunger. 3 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:11,799 Speaker 1: I'm a mother of three, practicing physician and blogger. On 4 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:14,640 Speaker 1: the side, we are two working parents who love our 5 00:00:14,680 --> 00:00:17,920 Speaker 1: careers and our families. Welcome to best of both worlds. 6 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:21,560 Speaker 1: Here we talk about how real women manage work, family, 7 00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: and time for fun, from figuring out childcare to mapping 8 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: out long term career goals. We want you to get 9 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:33,080 Speaker 1: the most out of life. Welcome to best of both worlds. 10 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:36,400 Speaker 1: This is Laura. This is episode one four, airing in 11 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:39,839 Speaker 1: late July twenty nineteen. Today we are going to be 12 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:43,720 Speaker 1: interviewing one of our favorite organization and time management gurus, 13 00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 1: Julie Morgan Stern. She's particularly going to be talking about 14 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:49,360 Speaker 1: her book Time to Parent, but she has a lot 15 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:51,720 Speaker 1: of great other resources out there, so we are really 16 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:55,320 Speaker 1: looking forward to that interview. So, Sarah, what kind of 17 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 1: organizing projects do you have going on right now? I 18 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:01,880 Speaker 1: have a lot of organizing projects i'd like to get going. 19 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:04,640 Speaker 1: I don't know that I'm actively pursuing all that many 20 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:08,240 Speaker 1: of them, but there's always the perennial kids clothes, right, 21 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:10,360 Speaker 1: because we've only got a month before back to school, 22 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:14,200 Speaker 1: so it's actually time to go through and figure out 23 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:17,280 Speaker 1: what doesn't fit. I actually did just weed out Genevieve's clothes. 24 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:18,759 Speaker 1: I got rid of all this stuff that was kind 25 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:21,160 Speaker 1: of like less than eighteen month size. And it's one 26 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,959 Speaker 1: of those tasks that you kind of put off, perhaps 27 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,080 Speaker 1: because it seems daunting. I think it took five minutes. 28 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,200 Speaker 1: I mean it really, it really didn't take that long. 29 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,920 Speaker 1: So I do feel like that particular task, which a 30 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:32,479 Speaker 1: lot of parents get annoyed, if you just do one 31 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:34,680 Speaker 1: little piece of it each day, you could get a 32 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:37,000 Speaker 1: ton of it done over the course of a month. Really, 33 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:39,319 Speaker 1: even set a timer for five minutes and you'll realize, oh, 34 00:01:39,319 --> 00:01:41,920 Speaker 1: I just weeded out all my kids shoes. Like it's 35 00:01:41,959 --> 00:01:44,720 Speaker 1: not that hard. So that's number one. And then next 36 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,560 Speaker 1: on my list is the toys, which is going to 37 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 1: be harder because everything needs to be sorted and probably 38 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 1: a lot of it needs to go in the garage. Actually, 39 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:54,880 Speaker 1: we got a great listener question for this episode where 40 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:56,400 Speaker 1: they asked if we do the thing where you kind 41 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:58,200 Speaker 1: of don't keep all the toys out so that the 42 00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:00,640 Speaker 1: kids rotate and I'd like to do more of that, 43 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:03,840 Speaker 1: not because I have some vision of like three toys 44 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:06,600 Speaker 1: being out in a very minimalistic player room and wood 45 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:10,600 Speaker 1: and muted tones, but because everything does get jumpled all together, 46 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:12,760 Speaker 1: and I don't think they have as much fun with 47 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,440 Speaker 1: it when it's kind of one big mess. I mean, 48 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:17,440 Speaker 1: there's there's definitely a continuum there. I think if they 49 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:19,600 Speaker 1: only had three blocks out it would also be problematic. 50 00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:23,400 Speaker 1: But we're at the messier end of the spectrum right now, 51 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:25,960 Speaker 1: and I'm not loving it. Yeah, that's hard because I 52 00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:28,240 Speaker 1: mean one of the things that's kind of cool with 53 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,320 Speaker 1: the independent play and creative play is that when they 54 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,720 Speaker 1: combine stuff right like that that you know, you combine 55 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:34,959 Speaker 1: a doll with legos and you put together totally but 56 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:37,520 Speaker 1: you never would have otherwise. And then you're using your 57 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:40,520 Speaker 1: crans with a cardboard box to make a shelter for 58 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:43,519 Speaker 1: all of them. And the problem when you limit too 59 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,959 Speaker 1: much the materials is they can't do that, right. I 60 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:50,079 Speaker 1: totally agree, and I used to think like that. I mean, 61 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:52,680 Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm sending Genevieve to that Montessori school 62 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:54,200 Speaker 1: where I think they're only allowed to have like one 63 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:56,440 Speaker 1: thing out at a time, and there's all I mean. 64 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:59,480 Speaker 1: So there are different philosophies about this, And I also 65 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:02,280 Speaker 1: enjoy reading a book back in the day called Simplicity 66 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:04,520 Speaker 1: Parenting when my kids were toddlers. I do think when 67 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:07,040 Speaker 1: they're really young, there might be more to be said 68 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:09,800 Speaker 1: for fairly few toys that they can play with creatively. 69 00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:13,120 Speaker 1: I mean, they do say that kids like in developing 70 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 1: countries who might not have fifteen thousand toys, managed to 71 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:19,240 Speaker 1: have plenty of fun with like a bunch of popsicle 72 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:23,079 Speaker 1: sticks and some markers or something. But yeah, that's why 73 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:24,960 Speaker 1: I feel like it is a continuum, because it is 74 00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:27,440 Speaker 1: fun when they do certain mashups. Yeah, the legos and 75 00:03:27,440 --> 00:03:30,400 Speaker 1: the magnetiles are often together with the Calico critters mixed in, 76 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:32,640 Speaker 1: and they build a house for those, and then Annabel 77 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:35,120 Speaker 1: makes something with the art drawer. So I agree, But 78 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:37,840 Speaker 1: there is a point when you get past that happy medium, 79 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:40,720 Speaker 1: at least in our house. Yeah, with the toddler it's 80 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,280 Speaker 1: hard to keep everything organized anyway, right, I mean, you 81 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 1: talked to you, sent me a note about organizing your bookshelf, 82 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:49,320 Speaker 1: and it was unorganized. Very cool. I was so proud 83 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:52,960 Speaker 1: of myself so all their books are in this cube organizer, 84 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:56,400 Speaker 1: which I spoiler alert maybe mentioned later in the episode. 85 00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:59,120 Speaker 1: But you know, there's certain cubes that are more like 86 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:01,960 Speaker 1: big kids books and certain cubes that are more Genevieve's books. 87 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:05,640 Speaker 1: And one day I probably spent two or three hours. 88 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:08,400 Speaker 1: I mean it was alongside Genevieve playing, but I really 89 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,360 Speaker 1: like went through every cube and made sure, okay, this 90 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:12,800 Speaker 1: is just Genevieve's. It was the dumbest thing I ever did, 91 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:15,880 Speaker 1: because I think it lasted maybe two days. I mean, 92 00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,200 Speaker 1: maybe that's being generous, because of course, as soon as 93 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:20,480 Speaker 1: they were all pretty, she's like, well now I want 94 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:22,159 Speaker 1: to knock them all down and mix them up and 95 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:24,320 Speaker 1: see what happens if I put this book in this cube, 96 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:27,039 Speaker 1: and oh my goodness. So I'm not wasting my time 97 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:30,400 Speaker 1: doing that again, at least until she's passed. The mashups 98 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:34,400 Speaker 1: are fun stage, Yeah, well, I mean toddlers love pulling 99 00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 1: everything that's eye level down off wherever it is, so 100 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:41,480 Speaker 1: I mean, any bookshelf that's approximately two feet in the air, 101 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 1: will it will soon be empty because that's what they 102 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:46,159 Speaker 1: like to do. So it's funny because this is my 103 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:48,560 Speaker 1: third kid, but I've forgotten some I really haven't had 104 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:50,920 Speaker 1: a toddler for like four years prior to this toddler, 105 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:54,240 Speaker 1: and I forgot. Yeah, it goes away, but then it 106 00:04:54,279 --> 00:05:00,000 Speaker 1: comes back. Yeah. Yeah. I've done a few organizing projects 107 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:03,080 Speaker 1: in the past year or two. I massively cleaned out 108 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:05,599 Speaker 1: all my desk drawers because it was just getting very full, 109 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:08,400 Speaker 1: and I, you know, organize it. So I have one 110 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:13,160 Speaker 1: office supply drawer. I have one sort of you know, 111 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:16,400 Speaker 1: directories and other related type things drawer. I have one 112 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:20,719 Speaker 1: mailing drawer to all the stamps, the cards, envelopes, things 113 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,760 Speaker 1: like that go in there, and you know, bill paying 114 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:27,520 Speaker 1: stuff as well, and then one drawer for notebooks, which 115 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:29,760 Speaker 1: is one of the ways I discovered that I have 116 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:33,000 Speaker 1: about fifty pretty little notebooks that I have either been 117 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:36,479 Speaker 1: given or have purchased or something, and never have thoughts 118 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:39,680 Speaker 1: that are special enough to actually break open these special 119 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:42,800 Speaker 1: notebooks to write in. So use those notebooks because you 120 00:05:42,839 --> 00:05:44,920 Speaker 1: don't want to get yourself in the situation where you're like, 121 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:46,719 Speaker 1: I actually am not going to live long enough to 122 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:48,720 Speaker 1: fill these pages. Oh, I already know I'm not going 123 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 1: to live long enough to fill all these pages that 124 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:54,239 Speaker 1: you know, I should try. I give some to Jasper 125 00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:57,080 Speaker 1: because he likes writing in them, and so that fills 126 00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:59,279 Speaker 1: some of the space. But yeah, I was like, wow, 127 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:03,719 Speaker 1: I have had vast ambitious ambitions for my big thoughts 128 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:08,039 Speaker 1: that are not actually being born out. I also cleaned 129 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:10,880 Speaker 1: out the big boys room recently, because so the two 130 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,560 Speaker 1: of them share a room, and when Sam got a 131 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:15,360 Speaker 1: new bed, we changed the configuration. I realized there's just 132 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:17,920 Speaker 1: stuff everywhere. I mean, you're going to have happened with 133 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:21,120 Speaker 1: two boys. And the books especially had gotten a little 134 00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:24,880 Speaker 1: bit out of control because we all love books, and 135 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:28,719 Speaker 1: I sort of never question buying books, whereas I would 136 00:06:28,760 --> 00:06:31,120 Speaker 1: probably question if they asked me for a toy. And 137 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:34,120 Speaker 1: so you know, it adds up and birthdays and Christmas 138 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,440 Speaker 1: and all that stuff. And so we had to get 139 00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:39,479 Speaker 1: some more shelf space and move some of them to 140 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 1: Alex's room because they're more appropriate for his age. But 141 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:46,400 Speaker 1: you know, it looks a lot better. So there's at 142 00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,440 Speaker 1: least with four kids, I feel like building a giant 143 00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:50,360 Speaker 1: library is not the worst thing in the world. It's 144 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:53,159 Speaker 1: kind of like you have this big, I don't know, repository. 145 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:55,800 Speaker 1: So depending on what their interests are, especially for your 146 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:58,560 Speaker 1: younger two. It's like they have everything. Yeah, well, we 147 00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:00,479 Speaker 1: turn out to have a lot of Magic Tree books, 148 00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:02,360 Speaker 1: so I have to figure out who's going to inherit 149 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:07,280 Speaker 1: that collection at some point maybe, But we're going to 150 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,960 Speaker 1: learn all sorts of great organizing tips from Julie, so 151 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:14,119 Speaker 1: we're excited to bring her to you now. Well, Sarah 152 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:17,560 Speaker 1: and I are very excited to welcome Julie Morgenstern to 153 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:20,040 Speaker 1: the program. So Julie, could you go ahead and introduce 154 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:23,800 Speaker 1: yourself to our listeners. Sure, I'm very happy to be here, 155 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:27,800 Speaker 1: and my name is Julie Morgenstern. I'm a professional organizer 156 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:31,400 Speaker 1: and productivity expert, and I've been in business for over 157 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:37,520 Speaker 1: thirty years, an author of six books on organizing and productivity. 158 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:40,840 Speaker 1: We're so excited to have you on. I actually only 159 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:43,640 Speaker 1: discovered you in the last few years or so, but 160 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:47,480 Speaker 1: I have been personally loving your podcast. Julie. Oh great, 161 00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:51,560 Speaker 1: I'm delighted. I thought it was a great topic that 162 00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:54,560 Speaker 1: you were tackling, and I hope for more episodes. Yes, 163 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:57,600 Speaker 1: I'm so glad you like it. Yeah, Time to Parent 164 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:02,840 Speaker 1: and Live coach parents through the time management, organizing challenges 165 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:08,400 Speaker 1: of trying to try to manage these very tough years. Yeah, 166 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:13,640 Speaker 1: your career, you've looked at both organizing space and organizing time. 167 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:15,560 Speaker 1: I wonder if you could talk a little bit about 168 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:19,920 Speaker 1: the relationship between those two. Yeah. I think I started 169 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:24,560 Speaker 1: out organizing space and my clients. You know, you'd organize 170 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:27,200 Speaker 1: space and you would free up an enormous amount of 171 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:32,240 Speaker 1: time and energy that was formerly lost to looking for 172 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:37,480 Speaker 1: things or procrastinating because you couldn't find things, And there 173 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:41,840 Speaker 1: really is an interplay and then time time management. I've 174 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:45,520 Speaker 1: always taken a particular view of time management and treated 175 00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:51,000 Speaker 1: it as organizing organizing time like a space that you know, 176 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:54,640 Speaker 1: it's time. Space is much more tangible, you can see it, 177 00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:59,560 Speaker 1: and time feels ethereal. But if you really think about it, 178 00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:02,000 Speaker 1: organize time is just like organized space. It's like a 179 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:06,000 Speaker 1: closet because you know, we have talked about many times 180 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:09,560 Speaker 1: that we have one hundred and sixty eight hours two 181 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:13,400 Speaker 1: hour week that we have to work with, and everything 182 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:17,360 Speaker 1: that we want to do has to fit inside that 183 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:23,480 Speaker 1: container sleep and work and self and social lives and family. 184 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:27,200 Speaker 1: And the better you think about it as a container 185 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:31,840 Speaker 1: and are thoughtful about the way you arrange those different 186 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:36,559 Speaker 1: buckets of time inside the closet of your week, the 187 00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:38,760 Speaker 1: more you get out of it. In the same way 188 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,920 Speaker 1: as if you're thoughtful about how you batch and group 189 00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:44,840 Speaker 1: things in your closet, it gets more out of that space. 190 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:47,839 Speaker 1: So there are a lot of parallels, and I've built 191 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:51,199 Speaker 1: my career pulling on those parallels. That's so cool. I 192 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,679 Speaker 1: don't think I ever heard that analogy before organizing your 193 00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:57,560 Speaker 1: week like you would organize your closet. Yeah, and Julie, 194 00:09:57,679 --> 00:10:00,520 Speaker 1: you you've written about how you became much more interested 195 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:04,400 Speaker 1: in these topics after becoming a parent and then becoming 196 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:07,199 Speaker 1: a single parent a couple of years into that journey. 197 00:10:07,679 --> 00:10:10,560 Speaker 1: You know, how does being a parent change how we 198 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:14,840 Speaker 1: interact with time and organizing our time? And I guess 199 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:17,920 Speaker 1: our space too. Yeah. I mean, first of all, when 200 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:21,800 Speaker 1: you're just trying to organize yourself is not particularly easy, right, 201 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:25,160 Speaker 1: like trying to organize your own space and your own 202 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:28,719 Speaker 1: time as a single parent, as a single person, or 203 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:33,440 Speaker 1: even as a married person. It can be hard enough, 204 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:37,680 Speaker 1: but once you start having kids, it just gets so 205 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:41,760 Speaker 1: complicated and that you can no longer do you know, 206 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:46,040 Speaker 1: think of organizing as a single user system. Every system 207 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:49,600 Speaker 1: you design once you have a family, has to be 208 00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:55,800 Speaker 1: conceptualized as a multi user system. And when you do that, 209 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,440 Speaker 1: what you can then create is something that is as 210 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:02,640 Speaker 1: easy for a five year old to follow as a 211 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:06,360 Speaker 1: grown adult who's very focused on these things, as a 212 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:10,120 Speaker 1: grown adult who tends to not notice piles on tops 213 00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:13,839 Speaker 1: of dining room tables as a fifteen year old. It's 214 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:17,040 Speaker 1: you have to create these user friendly systems and multi 215 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:21,000 Speaker 1: user systems. It's very complicated, but it's a big leap 216 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:24,839 Speaker 1: that I think we failed to make as parents, and 217 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:28,640 Speaker 1: very often as women in particular. The moms tend to 218 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:32,160 Speaker 1: just absorb the whole job and kind of become the 219 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:36,040 Speaker 1: default organizer for the family, and it's a job that 220 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:41,200 Speaker 1: can be so burdensome and impossible, truly impossible to ever 221 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:44,880 Speaker 1: succeed at doing it all for everybody, plus being present, 222 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:50,760 Speaker 1: plus being pleasant. Present and pleasant are really hard when 223 00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:54,040 Speaker 1: you're the organizer of an entire tribe. So got to 224 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:56,400 Speaker 1: learn how to share it. And this is definitely a 225 00:11:56,559 --> 00:12:00,240 Speaker 1: very on the moment topic right now. I just finished R. C. 226 00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,320 Speaker 1: Lachman's All the Rage, which I thought was actually an 227 00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:05,560 Speaker 1: excellent delve into this issue. We had Gemma Hartley on 228 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:10,760 Speaker 1: the podcast about six months ago or so. She was fascinating. 229 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:14,560 Speaker 1: So that's great that you're also, you know, looking at 230 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,040 Speaker 1: it with that perspective of having done this yourself, but 231 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:20,640 Speaker 1: thinking about how things might work in different situations as well. 232 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,840 Speaker 1: I may be that person who doesn't notice the piles 233 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:25,920 Speaker 1: on the dining room table. I'll put that out there, right. 234 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:32,120 Speaker 1: We need you, Laura. It's good balance person. But what's 235 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:35,160 Speaker 1: sort of interesting how you approach this and the idea 236 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:38,440 Speaker 1: of the sort of overwhelming job of organizing time and 237 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:41,920 Speaker 1: space as a parent, is you actually break parenting down 238 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:45,480 Speaker 1: into four distinct jobs in your new book Time to Parent, 239 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:48,440 Speaker 1: which is, as you point out, a very different thing 240 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:50,280 Speaker 1: than most people approach it. They're sort of like, oh, 241 00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:52,680 Speaker 1: you know, you're the expert in your kid or other 242 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:55,440 Speaker 1: parenting books are like you're doing everything wrong and you're terrible. 243 00:12:55,840 --> 00:13:01,120 Speaker 1: But four distinct jobs. The acronym pa RT first of all, 244 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:03,120 Speaker 1: why I think of parenting this way as distinct jobs, 245 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:05,960 Speaker 1: and then tell us about what those that acronym stands 246 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:09,520 Speaker 1: for sure, So I as a time management coach, one 247 00:13:09,559 --> 00:13:13,640 Speaker 1: thing I've learned over the years is that job ambiguity 248 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:19,120 Speaker 1: in any position in any industry is a recipe for 249 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:23,760 Speaker 1: overwork and inefficiency and insecurity. When you don't know what 250 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:26,000 Speaker 1: your job is, how do you know when your day 251 00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:28,840 Speaker 1: is done? It's never done. How do you know where 252 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:31,720 Speaker 1: your strengths lie and where you need to build skills? 253 00:13:31,840 --> 00:13:34,520 Speaker 1: And that happens very often in the workplace more and 254 00:13:34,559 --> 00:13:38,040 Speaker 1: more these days. Right, job ambiguity, and it's terrible. People 255 00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:44,719 Speaker 1: just work forever. Well. Parenting has always been totally ambiguous. 256 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:47,959 Speaker 1: The job description has never existed. And when my daughter 257 00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:52,120 Speaker 1: was born, I was shocked that there were not time 258 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:55,360 Speaker 1: management brochure is handed out in the maternity ward with 259 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:59,520 Speaker 1: every baby that was born, Like, how am I supposed 260 00:13:59,559 --> 00:14:04,160 Speaker 1: to now do this and balance raising this human and 261 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:08,000 Speaker 1: being a human right giving her everything she needs, and 262 00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:12,120 Speaker 1: also maintain my job and myself and so on. So 263 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:17,320 Speaker 1: when you have job ambiguity, and that's it feels like 264 00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:19,840 Speaker 1: a job that's infinite. Right, As a parent, don't you 265 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:24,880 Speaker 1: feel like it's endless? It is infinite, you're just juggling 266 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:28,920 Speaker 1: one thousand and one balls. But that is not really true. 267 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:32,840 Speaker 1: So I thought, if I can create job clarity, it 268 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:36,600 Speaker 1: will eliminate a lot of the inefficiency and worry and 269 00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:40,400 Speaker 1: then parents can actually approach it in an organized way. 270 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:45,360 Speaker 1: So it broke the job into two parts actually, at 271 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:50,400 Speaker 1: first raising a human and being a human, because while 272 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:52,480 Speaker 1: you're raising your kids, you're in the prime of your 273 00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:56,680 Speaker 1: own adult development years. No one ever talks about that. 274 00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:03,720 Speaker 1: And then each of those two have four components. So Laura, 275 00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:06,360 Speaker 1: what you're asking about is the is the raising a human. 276 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:08,600 Speaker 1: So we have to balance our time as parents, our 277 00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:15,119 Speaker 1: time between four activities in order to raise happy, healthy kids. 278 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:19,480 Speaker 1: And it spells the acronym part as in doing your 279 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:24,080 Speaker 1: part for another person. So the piece stands for we 280 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:26,680 Speaker 1: have to spend time to provide. We have to provide 281 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:29,160 Speaker 1: for our kids, right, I have to work and make 282 00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:32,120 Speaker 1: and manage money to pay for all the stuff kids need. 283 00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:37,920 Speaker 1: A stands for arrange. We have to arrange the logistics 284 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:40,920 Speaker 1: of our kids and families' lives. It's a huge job. 285 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:44,320 Speaker 1: We just talked about a lot of traps there. We 286 00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:47,640 Speaker 1: also have to spend time on the R is for relate. 287 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:51,040 Speaker 1: We have to spend time relating to each of our 288 00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:54,200 Speaker 1: kids to get to know each one for the unique 289 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:59,000 Speaker 1: individual they are. That's that elusive quality time. People are 290 00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:03,120 Speaker 1: always craving and barely have time for. And the fourth 291 00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:05,040 Speaker 1: thing we have to spend time on as parents is 292 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:08,600 Speaker 1: teaching our kids. That's the t paart teach. We have 293 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:12,000 Speaker 1: to spend time teaching our kids values and life skills 294 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:16,160 Speaker 1: so that they can be successful as adults. Part And 295 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:19,160 Speaker 1: if you stop and think about it, that's it. Those 296 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,520 Speaker 1: are the four activities. It's not one thousand and four, 297 00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:26,360 Speaker 1: it's not to it's four and we have to do 298 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:29,120 Speaker 1: all of them. You can't skip any our kids really 299 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:32,280 Speaker 1: don't get what they need. I love it and I 300 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:33,920 Speaker 1: can't wait to delve into it. In a second. We're 301 00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:37,920 Speaker 1: just going to take a quick break for our sponsors. Hey, listeners, 302 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,800 Speaker 1: we know a lot of you are in management, you're 303 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:44,120 Speaker 1: leading teams, or you're running small businesses. And if you're 304 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,680 Speaker 1: doing those things, you know that hiring isn't as simple 305 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:49,080 Speaker 1: as putting an ad in the paper or posting to 306 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:51,880 Speaker 1: a job board. When you're juggling hiring with everything it 307 00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,480 Speaker 1: takes to grow your business, it's important that you reach 308 00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:58,160 Speaker 1: the right candidates at the right time. That's where LinkedIn 309 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:01,800 Speaker 1: comes in. With over six six hundred million members visiting 310 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:04,880 Speaker 1: LinkedIn to make connections and learn and grow as professionals. 311 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:07,399 Speaker 1: You know you've got lots of people looking to discover 312 00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:11,760 Speaker 1: new job opportunities. In fact, LinkedIn members add fifteen new 313 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:14,760 Speaker 1: skills to their profiles and apply to thirty five job 314 00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,919 Speaker 1: posts every two seconds. That's how they make sure that 315 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,960 Speaker 1: your job post gets in front of people with the 316 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:22,920 Speaker 1: right skills and soft skills to meet your role requirements. 317 00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:27,679 Speaker 1: Things like collaboration, work, ethic, adaptability, all the things that 318 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,439 Speaker 1: we know you are looking for in anyone that you 319 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:33,720 Speaker 1: want working for you. LinkedIn does the legwork to match 320 00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,560 Speaker 1: you to the most qualified candidates so you can focus 321 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:40,040 Speaker 1: on hiring the person who will transform your business. To 322 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:43,439 Speaker 1: get fifty dollars off your first job post, go to 323 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:49,040 Speaker 1: LinkedIn dot com slash best of Again, that's LinkedIn dot 324 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:53,439 Speaker 1: com slash best of to get fifty dollars off your 325 00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:59,120 Speaker 1: first job post. Terms and conditions apply. Listeners were also 326 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:03,040 Speaker 1: excited to tell you about another sponsor, mm Lafleur. We 327 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:04,800 Speaker 1: think that they will be a great fit for our 328 00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:07,680 Speaker 1: listeners as well. M m Lafleur's goal is to take 329 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,840 Speaker 1: the work out of getting dressed for work. Because you 330 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:13,280 Speaker 1: know you're busy and you've got better things to do 331 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,719 Speaker 1: than sit through garment racks at crowded department stores in 332 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:19,960 Speaker 1: your precious free time. I know Laura has been a 333 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,800 Speaker 1: fan of m Lafleur for quite some time. I've seen 334 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:24,880 Speaker 1: her in several of their pieces, and she's just sent 335 00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:28,200 Speaker 1: me a picture of their pencil skirt in black super Versatile, 336 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:30,879 Speaker 1: which looks like such a workhourse. Now I want one. 337 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,440 Speaker 1: I also love the concept of the Bento box, as 338 00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:35,600 Speaker 1: I'm a total fan of the capsule concept and having 339 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:39,119 Speaker 1: lots of pieces that work together. Yeah, and another really 340 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:41,760 Speaker 1: cool thing about Emma and Luflur clothes is it is 341 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:44,320 Speaker 1: made for working women. So I have a pair of 342 00:18:44,359 --> 00:18:49,120 Speaker 1: black pants that are machine washable. Total game changer. Right, 343 00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,320 Speaker 1: put on the black pants, You're done with them, put 344 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:53,560 Speaker 1: them in the wash, take them out, no trip to 345 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:57,520 Speaker 1: the dry cleaner required. That is amazing that it's every 346 00:18:57,520 --> 00:19:00,720 Speaker 1: working woman's dream. I think that you guys would love 347 00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:02,480 Speaker 1: trying them and will flour. They have a ton of 348 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:06,640 Speaker 1: great stuff on offer, from dresses, blouses, black pants, pencil skirts, 349 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,760 Speaker 1: basically everything you need for work. Right now, new customers 350 00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:12,520 Speaker 1: can enjoy twenty five dollars toward their first purchase or 351 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:17,639 Speaker 1: bento box with the code best of, So visit mmlafleur 352 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:21,000 Speaker 1: dot com slash best of for more details. That's m 353 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:25,200 Speaker 1: m l a f l e u r dot com 354 00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:28,480 Speaker 1: slash best of for more details and to get your 355 00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:32,280 Speaker 1: twenty five dollars off. Okay, we're back. We were just 356 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:35,359 Speaker 1: reviewing part and that was how it related to the 357 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,159 Speaker 1: parenting part. But then did you say there was a 358 00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:41,239 Speaker 1: second acronym that related to taking care of yourself? Yes, so, 359 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:44,840 Speaker 1: as parents, we're not just responsible for our children's wellbeing, 360 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:48,280 Speaker 1: we're also responsible for our own and we tend to 361 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:51,439 Speaker 1: eclipse that. When we become parents, we just sacrifice everything 362 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:55,400 Speaker 1: for our kids, but then we implode. We're not very 363 00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:59,040 Speaker 1: good at the part. So to be a happy, healthy 364 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:03,280 Speaker 1: human all raising children, we also have to divide our 365 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:07,480 Speaker 1: time between four things, and those spell the acronym self, 366 00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:12,200 Speaker 1: as in fueling yourself. So what are those four activities 367 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:15,000 Speaker 1: that enable you to do your part and be happy 368 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:19,000 Speaker 1: and healthy yourself. We have to spend time on sleep. Right, 369 00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:22,080 Speaker 1: The first thing to go, usually and very challenging, is 370 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:25,720 Speaker 1: a parent. But if we do not sleep, we do 371 00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,639 Speaker 1: not have the energy, the patience, the brain power to 372 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:30,960 Speaker 1: do our part in that other section, right, you're just 373 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,240 Speaker 1: operating on fumes. We have to spend time to ease, 374 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:37,960 Speaker 1: for exercise and fitness and things related to our health 375 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:41,040 Speaker 1: so that we have the energy and confidence to keep 376 00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:46,080 Speaker 1: up with our kids. L is for love. To be 377 00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:49,959 Speaker 1: a happy, healthy adult, you have to invest time in 378 00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:53,880 Speaker 1: and nurture the adult relationships in your life. It's different 379 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:59,040 Speaker 1: than a relationship to kids. And when we're nurtured, it's 380 00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:03,159 Speaker 1: easier to nurture others. So that's the love and f 381 00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:09,160 Speaker 1: on This self stands for fun, which important, so important, 382 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:12,560 Speaker 1: and it's so underrated. And I can't tell you how 383 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,040 Speaker 1: many in my career as a time management coach and 384 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:20,280 Speaker 1: an organizer, how many parents really put their own hobbies 385 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:24,879 Speaker 1: and that really define them completely on a shelf until 386 00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,520 Speaker 1: their last kid goes off to college. That could be 387 00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:31,760 Speaker 1: thirty years or thirty five years. And the thing about 388 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:36,560 Speaker 1: your own hobbies and passions, they make you feel like you. 389 00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:41,119 Speaker 1: And when you lose track of you while you're trying 390 00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:45,000 Speaker 1: to do all those things in part and have other 391 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:48,800 Speaker 1: relationships with other adults, you have no rudder. But when 392 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:51,760 Speaker 1: you do feel like you, and it's small doses, you 393 00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:55,119 Speaker 1: keep feeding that you're kind of grounded for handling the 394 00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:58,000 Speaker 1: whole big job. It's the most in some ways, it's 395 00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:01,600 Speaker 1: one of the most important things, and it's really overlooked 396 00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:06,000 Speaker 1: all the time. So that's it self, sleep, exercise, love, fun. 397 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,600 Speaker 1: I love it, and I feel like, oh, sorry, Laura, 398 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,679 Speaker 1: I'll let you go, But I was just going to 399 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:13,480 Speaker 1: say that I feel like I don't know. Our listeners 400 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:16,800 Speaker 1: are always seem to be seeking permission to make sure 401 00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:20,320 Speaker 1: to address their self acronym. So I think that seeing 402 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:22,320 Speaker 1: it in writing from someone who has been through it 403 00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:24,560 Speaker 1: all and who has really thought through it is going 404 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,399 Speaker 1: to be helpful for those who kind of know that 405 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:31,440 Speaker 1: we need those things but don't necessarily always purposefully put 406 00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:32,960 Speaker 1: them into our lives because we don't know that we're 407 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,960 Speaker 1: quote unquote allowed. You're not allowed. You feel guilty. You 408 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:39,200 Speaker 1: feel like anytime on yourself, you're stealing from your kids, 409 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:42,480 Speaker 1: or your job or your community, and that's not true. 410 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:44,520 Speaker 1: It really is like if you think of yourself as 411 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:48,879 Speaker 1: a cell phone battery, you have a battery life and 412 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:52,639 Speaker 1: you have to refuel, and if you don't, you just 413 00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:55,719 Speaker 1: can't give. And one of the things that really keeps us, 414 00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:58,200 Speaker 1: I think is the guilt, and there's this whole societal 415 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:02,280 Speaker 1: kind of judgment or in our veins kind of pass 416 00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:05,720 Speaker 1: from generation to generation. And today's generation of parents, by 417 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,399 Speaker 1: the way, are really known and have been studied to 418 00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:11,400 Speaker 1: be spending more time with their kids than any generation 419 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:15,000 Speaker 1: in history. They really take it seriously. They really want 420 00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:17,119 Speaker 1: to be there for their kids, but it is often 421 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:22,040 Speaker 1: at the expense of self care and cultivating their marriages 422 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:26,240 Speaker 1: and themselves. So one is the guilt, but the other. 423 00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:28,639 Speaker 1: And I think, you know, as people are listening, they're like, 424 00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:30,639 Speaker 1: all that sounds great, but like, where the hell am 425 00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:32,960 Speaker 1: I supposed to find a time for all of that? 426 00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:37,879 Speaker 1: Like there's not enough time. And the solution lies in 427 00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:46,399 Speaker 1: doing these things in short bursts, like microdoses of self care, 428 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:50,080 Speaker 1: Like think about other than sleep, sleep beneath your seven 429 00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,719 Speaker 1: or eight hours. You've got to become a ninja about 430 00:23:52,760 --> 00:23:56,399 Speaker 1: that and master and overcome everything that gets in the way, 431 00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,320 Speaker 1: because it's amazing how efficient you are when you have 432 00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:01,480 Speaker 1: seven or eight hours of sleep as opposed to when 433 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:04,719 Speaker 1: you don't. Everything else you think you're saving time, you're not. 434 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:08,120 Speaker 1: You're moving like a snail through the day when you 435 00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:13,480 Speaker 1: are not rested. But the other elements of self. Look 436 00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:16,919 Speaker 1: for twenty minute doses or less that you can fold 437 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,960 Speaker 1: into the routine of your day and the fabric of 438 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:25,280 Speaker 1: your week, as like constant, regular shots of fuel that 439 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:28,560 Speaker 1: just keep you going and energize you for everything else 440 00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:31,760 Speaker 1: you're doing. It's a different approach. And one of the 441 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,720 Speaker 1: you know other things that you write in the book 442 00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,040 Speaker 1: takes less time than you might think is one of 443 00:24:37,080 --> 00:24:40,720 Speaker 1: those first acronym parts, the relating to kids. So that's 444 00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:43,000 Speaker 1: when you're kind of entering their world, doing the stuff 445 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:46,840 Speaker 1: that they like to do, fully focused on them. But 446 00:24:47,040 --> 00:24:49,719 Speaker 1: you know, for those who especially have young kids, it's like, oh, 447 00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:51,800 Speaker 1: you know, how can you do that for hours on end? 448 00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:53,800 Speaker 1: But you write that you really don't need to for 449 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:56,280 Speaker 1: hours on end, So tell you ajit about that. So 450 00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:58,800 Speaker 1: that was the one piece that I actually did research 451 00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:01,920 Speaker 1: on that because I'm organizing a time management expert. But 452 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,320 Speaker 1: I couldn't tell parents how to divide their time unless 453 00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:08,640 Speaker 1: I knew what the experts, the scientists, the human development 454 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:13,280 Speaker 1: experts say children need to feel loved and secure. How 455 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,480 Speaker 1: much time do kids need to feel loved and secure? 456 00:25:15,520 --> 00:25:19,119 Speaker 1: And I spent eight years diving into the research and 457 00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:28,040 Speaker 1: it was fascinating in every realm psychology, sociology, education, medicine, economics, 458 00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:32,200 Speaker 1: And here's the buried answer, And here it is. Everybody, 459 00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:37,760 Speaker 1: sit down and listen. It's shockingly doable. What children thrive 460 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:43,359 Speaker 1: on is short bursts of like five to fifteen minutes 461 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:51,119 Speaker 1: twenty minutes tops. Short bursts of truly undivided attention delivered consistently, 462 00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:58,240 Speaker 1: not big blocks of time delivered erratically or occasionally. Short 463 00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:02,280 Speaker 1: bursts folded into the fabric of their day. And many 464 00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:07,480 Speaker 1: experts say, listen, kids have short attention spans, and many 465 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:10,359 Speaker 1: many experts say to calculate about a minute for each 466 00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:13,000 Speaker 1: age of life. So just stop and think about that 467 00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:15,919 Speaker 1: for a minute. A one year old has about a 468 00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:18,639 Speaker 1: one minute attention span before their eyes drift to the 469 00:26:18,640 --> 00:26:22,240 Speaker 1: next shiny object. It makes sense, right, And at five 470 00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,920 Speaker 1: year old five minutes, a fifteen year old fifteen minutes. 471 00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:26,919 Speaker 1: If you're lucky, you know they'll talk to you for 472 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:31,560 Speaker 1: fifteen minutes. So short bursts build it into the time 473 00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:34,760 Speaker 1: you're already spending with your kid. Don't add time, don't 474 00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:37,360 Speaker 1: worry about it. You can be a working parent and 475 00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:42,520 Speaker 1: not feel guilty. Just make sure that at each reconnection 476 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:46,000 Speaker 1: point you have in your kid's day, when they first 477 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:49,399 Speaker 1: wake up, when you when you first get home, at 478 00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:51,840 Speaker 1: the end of the day, dinner, bedtime. At each one 479 00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:57,640 Speaker 1: of those junctures, spend the first few minutes relating to them, 480 00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:00,240 Speaker 1: not the first few minutes on a range like hey, 481 00:27:00,240 --> 00:27:02,760 Speaker 1: did you do your homework? Hurry up and get dressed, 482 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:04,960 Speaker 1: and then maybe we'll have time for a game. No 483 00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:08,280 Speaker 1: connect first, and then get to the business of life. 484 00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:13,120 Speaker 1: And it's remarkably powerful and very liberating. Everybody can do it. 485 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:17,879 Speaker 1: I love that liberating idea because you know, I really 486 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,800 Speaker 1: just like playing board games with the children, but it 487 00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:24,040 Speaker 1: can stretch out for like hours, this negotiation of whether 488 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:26,080 Speaker 1: we're going to play it or not. You realize, like 489 00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:27,920 Speaker 1: you play it, they're gonna be bored in ten minutes 490 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:31,520 Speaker 1: and you're done, like you're exactly, So sometimes it's better 491 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:33,480 Speaker 1: just do the ten minutes and then you know, take 492 00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:36,080 Speaker 1: your pain, and then you're free. So I think got 493 00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:38,240 Speaker 1: it that way. It's true. And I mean, I remember 494 00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:39,840 Speaker 1: when I was raising my daughter, I was like that. 495 00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:42,080 Speaker 1: I worked from home for a long time, and I 496 00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:44,680 Speaker 1: was like, I'm a hyper focuser, Like whatever I'm doing 497 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:47,119 Speaker 1: I'm giving it my undivided attention. And if she asked 498 00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:48,680 Speaker 1: me I want to ask you a question or tell 499 00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:50,960 Speaker 1: you a story or play a game, I'd be like, 500 00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:53,359 Speaker 1: wait a minute, and that minute could go on for 501 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:56,760 Speaker 1: hours either way, Like I want to finish this before 502 00:27:56,880 --> 00:28:00,239 Speaker 1: I have to get stuck. And the truth is, if 503 00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:03,600 Speaker 1: you learn to just pivot and when you are spending 504 00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:06,440 Speaker 1: time with your kids, you have to don't do anything 505 00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:10,600 Speaker 1: that's like so flow that you can't be interrupted from. 506 00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:16,280 Speaker 1: Just turn your phone over, close your laptop, turn get 507 00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:20,920 Speaker 1: eyeball to eyeball at whatever hype they are, play the game. 508 00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:24,040 Speaker 1: They will be done in ten or fifteen minutes. It's shocking, 509 00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:30,119 Speaker 1: so really cool. It's very liberating, and kids are really satisfied. Yeah, 510 00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:32,639 Speaker 1: the idea that you don't have to sit there for 511 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:34,439 Speaker 1: three hours on the floor, that you're a failure if 512 00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:37,639 Speaker 1: you don't. Yeah, that is actually a lot thinking about that. 513 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:39,320 Speaker 1: I'm going to watch the clock a little more carefully 514 00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:42,600 Speaker 1: the next time I get on the floor with my toddler. Yeah, yeah, 515 00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,000 Speaker 1: and just sort of see And it's like short bursts 516 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:47,600 Speaker 1: and when your toddler's bored and wants to do something else, 517 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:49,120 Speaker 1: you set them up with that, and then you can 518 00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:51,600 Speaker 1: go do some together but a part thing. You can 519 00:28:52,400 --> 00:28:55,960 Speaker 1: do some whatever you need to do, and then reunite 520 00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:59,480 Speaker 1: when they're ready and you're ready. So, Julie, you talk 521 00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:03,600 Speaker 1: about some specific skills that people can learn that will 522 00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:07,080 Speaker 1: help them manage their time as parents. One of my favorite, 523 00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:11,800 Speaker 1: of course, is to anticipate derailments. Because obviously stuff goes wrong, 524 00:29:11,880 --> 00:29:14,840 Speaker 1: stuff comes up, things happen, life happens. How do we 525 00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:18,240 Speaker 1: learn to anticipate derailments and what does that look like 526 00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:21,720 Speaker 1: practically as we think about our schedules. Yeah, I think 527 00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:24,440 Speaker 1: that listen, especially as a working parent. I know you 528 00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:27,760 Speaker 1: have working parents who are listening. You have work can 529 00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:30,680 Speaker 1: be unpredictable, and life with kids can be on kids 530 00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:34,680 Speaker 1: can be unpredictable. So I think if you build in 531 00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:37,440 Speaker 1: to every single day toward the end of the day, 532 00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:39,200 Speaker 1: toward the end of your work day, or toward the 533 00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:42,480 Speaker 1: end of your day day, you look at your schedule 534 00:29:42,640 --> 00:29:45,800 Speaker 1: for I always talk about tomorrow plus two days beyond 535 00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:49,800 Speaker 1: that at least a three day forecast, because you need 536 00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:51,840 Speaker 1: to kind of have that context of what's coming down 537 00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:55,560 Speaker 1: the pike. See what's on the schedule, see what you're 538 00:29:55,560 --> 00:29:58,360 Speaker 1: trying to get done, what are your deliverables at work tomorrow, 539 00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:01,800 Speaker 1: what are you doing with the g kids tomorrow? Et cetera. 540 00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:06,840 Speaker 1: Make your plan and then ask yourself what could go wrong? 541 00:30:07,760 --> 00:30:09,920 Speaker 1: What could go wrong at work that's going to keep 542 00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:12,320 Speaker 1: me from getting out the door at four or five 543 00:30:12,400 --> 00:30:15,720 Speaker 1: or six or whatever time. You anticipate your boss who 544 00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:19,560 Speaker 1: always comes at the last minute, your own perfectionism, a 545 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:23,080 Speaker 1: colleague who always like asks you for help while you're 546 00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:25,160 Speaker 1: doing something else that you don't know how to say no. 547 00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:30,160 Speaker 1: So anticipate what could go wrong at work and think 548 00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:33,680 Speaker 1: through what will I do and how will I handle that? 549 00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:38,360 Speaker 1: Come up with a sort of preemptive plan so that 550 00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:42,400 Speaker 1: it doesn't catch you by surprise. And if you have 551 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:45,440 Speaker 1: a colleague who always comes to your boss always comes 552 00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:48,760 Speaker 1: at the end of the day. Start at noon saying hey, 553 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,200 Speaker 1: I have a really hard out today at six. You know, 554 00:30:51,240 --> 00:30:53,920 Speaker 1: I like to be flexible, but I really have to 555 00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:55,800 Speaker 1: be out at noon. Do you have anything that you 556 00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:59,120 Speaker 1: need done by today? At three? Just reminding you I'm 557 00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:02,720 Speaker 1: out in three hours. At five, I got thirty minutes 558 00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:04,920 Speaker 1: left and I'm walking out the door. And so you 559 00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:09,680 Speaker 1: just manage those derailments proactively and to be surprised. How 560 00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:13,280 Speaker 1: you can usually anticipate eighty percent of the shocks in 561 00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:16,280 Speaker 1: your day you could have predicted. And the same thing 562 00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:19,800 Speaker 1: with your kids. You have a presentation, and like, the 563 00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:21,840 Speaker 1: kids are supposed to be in school, but what could 564 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:25,240 Speaker 1: go wrong? Somebody could get sick, somebody could and what 565 00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:27,080 Speaker 1: are you going to do about it? If you think 566 00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:30,680 Speaker 1: about backup plans in both lanes of your life, and 567 00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:33,560 Speaker 1: I think as a parent, you must. It's just too 568 00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:37,280 Speaker 1: tenuous when you're trying to balance these two worlds, right, Like, 569 00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:40,959 Speaker 1: you want to be a good worker, so if something happens, 570 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,320 Speaker 1: you need to be flexible. You want to be a 571 00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:45,840 Speaker 1: great parent. If something happens, you want to be there. 572 00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:49,280 Speaker 1: So you need plan, be in plans, c down two 573 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:54,520 Speaker 1: highways every day and don't be so surprised with and 574 00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:59,280 Speaker 1: they're ready. You're ready for the surprises exactly. One other 575 00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:02,200 Speaker 1: tip I love from the book was in the section 576 00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:05,200 Speaker 1: on sleep, and you mentioned that you like to think 577 00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:08,520 Speaker 1: of sleep as the start of the next day as 578 00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:12,080 Speaker 1: opposed to the end of the previous day, so that 579 00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:13,920 Speaker 1: the day does not start when we wake up. The 580 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,440 Speaker 1: day starts when you go to bed, and I actually 581 00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:19,680 Speaker 1: really like that. How is that a game changer for people? 582 00:32:19,920 --> 00:32:22,200 Speaker 1: And why should we think of it that way? Yeah? 583 00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:24,480 Speaker 1: I mean I observed as a coach over the years 584 00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:28,280 Speaker 1: that people who tend to put off sleep and go 585 00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:30,320 Speaker 1: to sleep late, you know, really late, and ended up 586 00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:34,400 Speaker 1: sleep deprived, think of sleep as the end of the day, 587 00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:36,200 Speaker 1: and so they don't want the day to end. They're 588 00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:39,760 Speaker 1: trying to shove in more. They want to get more done. 589 00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:44,000 Speaker 1: And people who go to sleep on time and who 590 00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:46,680 Speaker 1: love sleep think of sleep is the beginning of the 591 00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:50,160 Speaker 1: next day. It's like getting into your charge, putting yourself 592 00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:53,800 Speaker 1: in your charger, and you're like, it's exciting to go 593 00:32:53,840 --> 00:32:56,520 Speaker 1: to sleep because that's charging up your batteries and your 594 00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:59,600 Speaker 1: juices and you're ready for the next day. And it 595 00:32:59,840 --> 00:33:03,120 Speaker 1: just shifts. It's a mindset shift that leads to behavior 596 00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:08,240 Speaker 1: shift so rapidly. And once you do that, then you 597 00:33:09,760 --> 00:33:12,040 Speaker 1: sort of plan. You have to sort of build your 598 00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:14,080 Speaker 1: bedtime routine. I talk about that in the book too, 599 00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:17,280 Speaker 1: that you have to kind of give yourself forty five minutes. 600 00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:19,400 Speaker 1: This was something else I found in the research. I 601 00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:22,520 Speaker 1: did not know this forty five minutes takes the average 602 00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:25,760 Speaker 1: adult forty five minutes from the time they start whatever 603 00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:29,720 Speaker 1: bedtime ritual that they you know, which is like, it's 604 00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:31,760 Speaker 1: time to go to bed, I'm getting up, I'm doing 605 00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:34,840 Speaker 1: my stretches and washing my face, putting my pgs, whatever 606 00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:37,920 Speaker 1: your routine is. It takes the average adult forty five 607 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:41,480 Speaker 1: minutes from the start of that routine to being sound asleep. 608 00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:47,120 Speaker 1: It definitely takes my kids even longer than it does. Yes, 609 00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:49,480 Speaker 1: the start of the bedtime routine is like seven forty 610 00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:51,080 Speaker 1: five and they're in bed at nine fifteen. You're like, 611 00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:53,720 Speaker 1: what what happened? I don't know. That sounds like a 612 00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:58,360 Speaker 1: lot of money goes along. Negotiation going on. We're working 613 00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:01,120 Speaker 1: on it. Yeah, yeah, and you know, and you can 614 00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:03,840 Speaker 1: do that too. I bet you, Sarah that if you 615 00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:09,200 Speaker 1: try this technique of first moments, first moments, connecting bed 616 00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:11,560 Speaker 1: time routines are going to get a lot easier. I 617 00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:17,799 Speaker 1: could see that. M Yeah, awesome. Yeah, Well, we love 618 00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:20,200 Speaker 1: that sleep tip, so I'm going to try that as well. 619 00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:23,239 Speaker 1: And we also wanted to ask you a couple of 620 00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:26,080 Speaker 1: quick questions from our listeners. We put out a poll 621 00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:28,160 Speaker 1: to Instagram. We didn't say it was you specifically. We 622 00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:31,440 Speaker 1: just said, an awesome organizing guru will be on the 623 00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:33,319 Speaker 1: show and we'd love to know what you'd like to 624 00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:36,160 Speaker 1: ask them. So I don't know. I kind of like 625 00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:38,560 Speaker 1: the kids and chores, how to get the kids started 626 00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:42,759 Speaker 1: with helping out? Sure, So I think there's a couple 627 00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:45,160 Speaker 1: of things to keep in mind. I'm glad you're asking that. 628 00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:49,360 Speaker 1: Whoever wrote that in there is don't feel bad making 629 00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:52,520 Speaker 1: your kids do chores. That's number one. And even if 630 00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:56,120 Speaker 1: you're a working parent, kids who do chores, studies say 631 00:34:56,280 --> 00:35:01,920 Speaker 1: are way more successful as adults in as roommates and marriages. 632 00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:06,080 Speaker 1: You're teaching them life skills. So I think that, and 633 00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:08,080 Speaker 1: in the book, I actually have an age by age 634 00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:11,319 Speaker 1: guide to what you can expect an infant to do, 635 00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:15,640 Speaker 1: a toddler to do, a school age kid, a tween, 636 00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:19,719 Speaker 1: and a team. So you want to think of I 637 00:35:19,719 --> 00:35:22,719 Speaker 1: think there's also a mindset shift that is so critical, 638 00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:27,719 Speaker 1: which is to think of sharing the household chores as 639 00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:31,399 Speaker 1: a way of taking care of each other. It's not 640 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:33,640 Speaker 1: a burden, it is a way of taking care of 641 00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:36,120 Speaker 1: each other. And the sooner that you get your kids started, 642 00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:38,560 Speaker 1: there's things that they have to do for themselves, which 643 00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:41,240 Speaker 1: is they have to start learning how to get dressed 644 00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:43,960 Speaker 1: or you know, get dressed, prussure teeth, grim themselves. That's 645 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:47,719 Speaker 1: self care. Those are some sets of things that they 646 00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:51,840 Speaker 1: can be responsible for, and then there's contributions to family 647 00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:56,400 Speaker 1: chores like setting the table or helping cook dinner or 648 00:35:56,440 --> 00:36:01,480 Speaker 1: clearing the table. Even toddler's absolutely can be responsible for 649 00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:04,360 Speaker 1: putting their toys and their games back where they belong, 650 00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:07,480 Speaker 1: as long as you have a place where they belong. 651 00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:11,439 Speaker 1: It requires organizing the space and putting labels and all that, 652 00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:14,440 Speaker 1: but you one hundred percent can do it, and just 653 00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:18,160 Speaker 1: make sure that you leave the time for everybody to 654 00:36:18,200 --> 00:36:21,480 Speaker 1: do it, because to do every to do takes time. 655 00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:24,760 Speaker 1: So if you want your kids to clean up before dinner, 656 00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:28,440 Speaker 1: set your cell phone alarm for ten minutes before dinner. 657 00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:30,600 Speaker 1: When it goes off, you just go in and announce 658 00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:33,720 Speaker 1: it's time to put everything away. Dinner in ten minutes. 659 00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:36,200 Speaker 1: So you have to kind of stay aware of the 660 00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:38,319 Speaker 1: time and not just be like, it's dinner time, clean up. 661 00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:42,600 Speaker 1: What's wrong with you people? Right? Yes, absolutely, I feel 662 00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:44,960 Speaker 1: like before dinner my kids always claim that they're angry, 663 00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:50,440 Speaker 1: so it becomes a challenge. But I get it. Yeah, Okay, 664 00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:52,880 Speaker 1: how about we had a good question about how to 665 00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:55,719 Speaker 1: deal with disappointment when you don't get your daily to 666 00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:59,799 Speaker 1: do list completed? Ah or maybe there's a proactive answer 667 00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:03,120 Speaker 1: to that. Center Now that's a great question. Well, first 668 00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:05,480 Speaker 1: of all, make sure that your daily to do list 669 00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:10,200 Speaker 1: is realistic. I think you can set yourself up for 670 00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:14,440 Speaker 1: disappointment every day if you're very unrealistic with what you 671 00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:17,320 Speaker 1: put on your to do list. And that I would 672 00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:20,480 Speaker 1: say start putting time as real time estimates next to 673 00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:24,200 Speaker 1: your to dos. I always advocate for that is how 674 00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:27,200 Speaker 1: asked forevery to do? How long will it take? And 675 00:37:27,239 --> 00:37:30,200 Speaker 1: get really good at answering that question, and you may 676 00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:33,319 Speaker 1: find before you even start your day like, whoa, I 677 00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:36,319 Speaker 1: just planned fourteen hours of to do's for a three 678 00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:39,400 Speaker 1: hour block of time. That's not going to work. And 679 00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:41,120 Speaker 1: then no matter what you get done, you're going to 680 00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:44,800 Speaker 1: be disappointed at the end. So becoming a time realist 681 00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:47,759 Speaker 1: rather than a time optimist, I think is a key 682 00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:52,280 Speaker 1: to never being disappointed because you're looking ahead, you're calculating, 683 00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:57,719 Speaker 1: and then you're really planning what's possible. And one other 684 00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:00,000 Speaker 1: thing I'll say is whether it's your to do life, 685 00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:03,160 Speaker 1: or you didn't really relate to your kid nicely, or 686 00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:08,160 Speaker 1: whatever happens in your day. I say you as a parent, 687 00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:12,560 Speaker 1: one habit is to forgive yourself every single night and 688 00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:16,040 Speaker 1: start tomorrow fresh, like go before you go to sleep. 689 00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:17,720 Speaker 1: That should be the last thing you do. Forgive yourself 690 00:38:17,719 --> 00:38:21,759 Speaker 1: for whatever mistakes you made, because you will make thousands 691 00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:25,920 Speaker 1: of mistakes to parrot. And if you just keep trying 692 00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:28,600 Speaker 1: to hit reset the next day, it's a lot easier 693 00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:32,520 Speaker 1: than feeling guilty and disappointed and always looking behind you 694 00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:36,280 Speaker 1: rather than being in the present. Those are all great 695 00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:38,640 Speaker 1: ideas well, Sarah, did you want to run thro any more? 696 00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:40,279 Speaker 1: Or I think we are almost at thirty minutes. We 697 00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:43,920 Speaker 1: should probably keep our Yeah, keep ourselves fantastic. Yes, this 698 00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:46,279 Speaker 1: has been fantastic. So we always end with a love 699 00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:48,880 Speaker 1: of the week where we talk about something that's really 700 00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:50,920 Speaker 1: going great for us this week, and Sarah and I 701 00:38:50,960 --> 00:38:53,520 Speaker 1: can go first, so that you can Julie, you can 702 00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:55,719 Speaker 1: think about this for a minute. Sarah, what do you 703 00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:58,400 Speaker 1: have for us this week? Well? I figured I might 704 00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:01,680 Speaker 1: as well have an organizing themed one, so I did 705 00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:04,520 Speaker 1: we have these cubes that we have all the toys 706 00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:06,799 Speaker 1: in and We have actually three of them that each 707 00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:09,200 Speaker 1: have twelve cubes, so that's thirty six cubes, which sounds 708 00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:11,000 Speaker 1: like a lot. But there's like one very long wall 709 00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:13,480 Speaker 1: and that's sort of the only real room that we 710 00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:16,120 Speaker 1: keep toys. And it's awesome because the kids kind of 711 00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:17,920 Speaker 1: know which bin has what. I guess we could do 712 00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:20,640 Speaker 1: better with labels, but it seems to work okay without it, 713 00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:24,200 Speaker 1: because they kind of they're color coded and to some extent, 714 00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:27,280 Speaker 1: and yeah, they just you know, you can throw everything 715 00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:29,600 Speaker 1: in there and it looks cleaned up, even when you 716 00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:32,840 Speaker 1: didn't have to, you know, meticulously do that much sorting. 717 00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:35,160 Speaker 1: So I love my cubes. We have the target ones. 718 00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:37,839 Speaker 1: There's even better ones for my Kia. Maybe someday we'll 719 00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:42,920 Speaker 1: upgrade on I upgrade your plastic cubes. Not sure what 720 00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:48,040 Speaker 1: huge amount. That's great. Being organized enough is the goal 721 00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:51,200 Speaker 1: organized enough. I'm a big fan of that. Yeah, I've 722 00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:54,160 Speaker 1: used this one before, but we we've actually turned our 723 00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:57,160 Speaker 1: dining room table into the puzzle table. And I talk 724 00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:59,919 Speaker 1: about just accepting the fact that we're in total kid 725 00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:02,600 Speaker 1: mode now and we don't have formal dinner parties and 726 00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:04,560 Speaker 1: we do use a lot of puzzles, so I have 727 00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:07,479 Speaker 1: now decided to just in my mind completely rethink the 728 00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:10,359 Speaker 1: dining room as being the game and puzzle room, so 729 00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,040 Speaker 1: that that mindset shift has made me feel like, you know, 730 00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:15,960 Speaker 1: we're using this room in our house now in a 731 00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:19,040 Speaker 1: way that we just weren't before. So that's my love 732 00:40:19,040 --> 00:40:20,880 Speaker 1: of the week, that I now have a puzzle room. 733 00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:25,279 Speaker 1: I love it. That's awesome, all right, Jullie, how about you, 734 00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:27,960 Speaker 1: yany So for me, I'm going to say that my 735 00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:30,560 Speaker 1: thing that I am really loving this week, and I 736 00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:34,480 Speaker 1: have been loving lately a lot, is I have this 737 00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:38,359 Speaker 1: sleep app on my cell phone and what it does 738 00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:41,399 Speaker 1: is you just set the time. You set the time 739 00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:44,480 Speaker 1: you want to wake up, and it will then monitor 740 00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:47,680 Speaker 1: you and wake you up in the right spot in 741 00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:50,399 Speaker 1: your rem cycle so that no matter what, you wake 742 00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:56,520 Speaker 1: up refreshed. And it has truly transformed my wake ups. 743 00:40:56,560 --> 00:41:00,719 Speaker 1: And I now wake up naturally at you know, the 744 00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:03,879 Speaker 1: right moment, even before the alarm goes off, and it's 745 00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:08,640 Speaker 1: completely reset my sleep. I get great sleep and I 746 00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:12,600 Speaker 1: always wake up refreshed no matter honestly how long I sleep. 747 00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:15,319 Speaker 1: But I typically sleep seven and a half hours or 748 00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:19,080 Speaker 1: eight and a half hours a night, but I just 749 00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:22,280 Speaker 1: it's it's great. It makes going to sleep really fun 750 00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:26,719 Speaker 1: and waking up delightful. That is so cool. Waking up 751 00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:29,960 Speaker 1: can be delightful, like you're winning. Yeah, you are winning. 752 00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:32,200 Speaker 1: It's a big deal. I was never a morning person, 753 00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:36,400 Speaker 1: so it's changed me. Yeah. Well this is wonderful. Well, Julie, 754 00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:38,560 Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining us, for taking the 755 00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:41,760 Speaker 1: time to do this a reminder for our listeners. Julie's 756 00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:44,920 Speaker 1: new book is Time to Parent, in which she talks 757 00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:46,960 Speaker 1: about all the different ways that you can organize your 758 00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:50,719 Speaker 1: time in order to be a calmer, more present, and 759 00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:53,960 Speaker 1: you know, having more fun parent. She also has a 760 00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:56,520 Speaker 1: lot of other titles out there, such as Time Management 761 00:41:56,560 --> 00:41:58,719 Speaker 1: from the Inside Out and Julie, can you quick tell 762 00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:01,840 Speaker 1: us about your website and your podcast. Yeah, so my 763 00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:06,760 Speaker 1: website is Julie Morgenstern dot com. Please come and visit, 764 00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:08,879 Speaker 1: and there's lots of stuff there and you can sign 765 00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:11,480 Speaker 1: up for if you have a balanced parent newsletter and 766 00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:14,600 Speaker 1: an Organizing you newsletter, so you can sign up for that. 767 00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:18,440 Speaker 1: And I have a podcast called Time to Parent and 768 00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:21,719 Speaker 1: in it I follow the structure of the book and 769 00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:25,360 Speaker 1: coach parents on all of the eight different quadrants of 770 00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:28,759 Speaker 1: balancing your life, raising and being, as well as some 771 00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:32,040 Speaker 1: of the time management skills that it takes to be 772 00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:35,480 Speaker 1: able to juggle these eight balls, because even though it's 773 00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:38,399 Speaker 1: not eight thousand, it's not too it is eight and 774 00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:42,520 Speaker 1: learning how to switch between them take skills, and I 775 00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:45,000 Speaker 1: coach people on how to really apply them, and so 776 00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:49,200 Speaker 1: it's really fun, good stories. Lots of experts I know 777 00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:52,120 Speaker 1: listeners to this podcast would enjoy that as well. Thank 778 00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:54,000 Speaker 1: you so much, Julie, It's been truly an honor to 779 00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,359 Speaker 1: talk to you, great to speak with you guys. Thank 780 00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:58,640 Speaker 1: you and listeners. We'll be back next week with more 781 00:42:58,719 --> 00:43:03,040 Speaker 1: on making work in life fit together. Thanks for listening. 782 00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:06,360 Speaker 1: You can find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com 783 00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:10,279 Speaker 1: or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, and you can 784 00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:14,560 Speaker 1: find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This has 785 00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:17,920 Speaker 1: been the best of both worlds podcasts. Please join us 786 00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:21,320 Speaker 1: next time for more on making work and life work together.