Speaker 1: What's up, everybody. I'm Tori and A'm Anissa, and this
Speaker 1: is MTV's official challenge podcast where we go behind the
Speaker 1: scenes of All Stars Too. This was a very fun
Speaker 1: and also very emotional episode and we are so lucky
Speaker 1: to be joined by my friend Derek Chaves to discuss
Speaker 1: it all and just a heads up. This episode includes
Speaker 1: discussions of mental health and suicide. If at any point
Speaker 1: you're feeling overwhelmed, we encourage you to press pause and
Speaker 1: take a deep breath, go for a walk, or visit
Speaker 1: mental health is health dot us for resources you can
Speaker 1: jump back in whenever you're ready. All right, guys, hope
Speaker 1: you enjoyed this interview with Derek Chavis. Y all right, folks,
Speaker 1: it is that time where we get to interview in
Speaker 1: All Star one of my great friends, a human being
Speaker 1: who I don't get to see enough of, with a
Speaker 1: heart of goal and just one of the best personalities ever.
Speaker 1: Welcome Derek Chavez to the podcast. Thanks for finally having me.
Speaker 1: I can't wait and I've missed you so much and
Speaker 1: I well, we're really happy to have you. This was
Speaker 1: a crazy episode with a lot of ups and downs. Um,
Speaker 1: I'm really happy that you're back on the screen. I mean,
Speaker 1: we haven't seen you in a while. I think All
Speaker 1: Stars is so great for having the last time. That's
Speaker 1: I think that's the last time I've seen you. Girls. Wow,
Speaker 1: it was and I threw you into elimination and I
Speaker 1: am sorry twice twice. Where was that one filmed? Hot
Speaker 1: Ass Thailand? Oh we never stopped sweating and we didn't
Speaker 1: have air conditioning. And that's another story for another time.
Speaker 1: I wait, Derek, so a Nissa, Derek, I needs to
Speaker 1: threw you into eliminations. Oh, it's interesting story, Anissa, Tori.
Speaker 1: We've already gone over this. And unless you want to
Speaker 1: turn into who I am and started making people feel guilty,
Speaker 1: that's fine. That's fine. I'm not putting any blame on anybody.
Speaker 1: I don't think she had control over where that boat
Speaker 1: was going. No, d M was a politician and she
Speaker 1: got some stuff done. Yeah, I don't blame you for
Speaker 1: what it did. And then after the fact, it was like,
Speaker 1: all right, we're not we're not gonna piss anybody new off.
Speaker 1: Let's just continue doing it. Yeah it was Yeah. I
Speaker 1: didn't even I was just social. I don't even know
Speaker 1: if I knew what politics were um, but yeah, I
Speaker 1: even throwing Rob and Rob and I became really close
Speaker 1: after that too. Game is a game, it's all, it's all.
Speaker 1: Did you just crack a beer? Yeah, Derek? Yeah, Well,
Speaker 1: oh my god, this is the energy we need. Yeah,
Speaker 1: let's just let's just jump right into it. Then you
Speaker 1: are back on the challenge. Finally, it has been how long?
Speaker 1: What was Rivals to? God? How do you feel being
Speaker 1: back on? It's sucking great? I mean, because you know,
Speaker 1: I I like to compete. I like to travel with
Speaker 1: my friends. I like to see these destinations that I
Speaker 1: would never see on my own. And to be able
Speaker 1: to have that opportunity to do it again, it's just awesome.
Speaker 1: And especially after so long when I like thought this
Speaker 1: was out of my life. Not because I wanted it
Speaker 1: to be out of my life. I just didn't fit themes.
Speaker 1: I had partners that dropped out. I got dropped last minute,
Speaker 1: so like I got asked for four more after Rivals Too,
Speaker 1: it just didn't work out, which I was pissed because
Speaker 1: I got asked for access to which it meant Marlon
Speaker 1: or Frank would have been my partner, meaning a strong
Speaker 1: ass team that would have been amazing to see and
Speaker 1: it would have been fun to be a part of. Yes,
Speaker 1: So but then I then it's like it started doing
Speaker 1: like the whole um the trilogy and then ship like that,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, I just don't fit the
Speaker 1: same anymore. So my life felt you know, well, I'm
Speaker 1: happy that you're on All Stars because your energy is
Speaker 1: awesome and obviould say this episode was insane and very deep,
Speaker 1: but I think we're going to get later into that
Speaker 1: in the interview. Um, but this season you were joined
Speaker 1: by two of your real world cast meets jazz And and
Speaker 1: and John, who are both epic characters on the show.
Speaker 1: What was it like to see them and play with them?
Speaker 1: It was great, Like I just love so I've basically
Speaker 1: I've done two out of my three challenges I've done
Speaker 1: with both of them. So I got to be a
Speaker 1: part of a team with them when we did seasons
Speaker 1: and then we made some rivals on that one, so
Speaker 1: we went to rivals together. So just just knowing that
Speaker 1: I have two girls, regardless of what goes on behind
Speaker 1: my back, like any time, I'm the same with them,
Speaker 1: Like I would never ever betrayed them. And that's the
Speaker 1: cool thing with us because that's what helped us go
Speaker 1: as far as we did on seasons because unlike other
Speaker 1: teams and stuff, we set up squash our beef like
Speaker 1: right after World and then we were like families, so
Speaker 1: like those are my sisters, you know. But it was
Speaker 1: again and to be back in can Koon, it was
Speaker 1: like what like my first time back. I was like
Speaker 1: the first time I did Real World was in Tancoon.
Speaker 1: Now I'm back doing All Stars in Kano. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: love that. I love that you had that kind of
Speaker 1: support system. I don't know what I do if my
Speaker 1: original cast was on a challenge with me. I mean
Speaker 1: they do feel like this family. But I think you
Speaker 1: guys kept in touch way more. Oh yeah, and a
Speaker 1: majority of us, like as a whole, kept in touch,
Speaker 1: not just like one here, one there, you know. I
Speaker 1: mean people. I think me and Emily and I are
Speaker 1: the only ones that don't have kids are married. Um,
Speaker 1: but like that, like that happens to people and they
Speaker 1: grow up and they get away from this. So it's
Speaker 1: still good to keep in touch with those people though. Yeah,
Speaker 1: a weird little family will always have But yeah, the
Speaker 1: challenge birth control, I mean, I guess somebody I want
Speaker 1: to know how is it to party with all these
Speaker 1: old heads again, like you are twelve, but we know
Speaker 1: how to party though we like started those parties, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't feel like they do that anymore. Like literally
Speaker 1: you go into this thing, it's like what what party
Speaker 1: are we having? And then depending on one month, it
Speaker 1: is like what are we going in October? We're gonna
Speaker 1: be there for Halloween. You gotta bring a Halloween costume
Speaker 1: that she better be packing her wigs, Like you know,
Speaker 1: it's just seeing that party. So we knew we were
Speaker 1: going to be doing prom. I know you guys saw
Speaker 1: the shots of me. I'll just draw out with my
Speaker 1: wig on the side. Her name was Cleo by the way.
Speaker 1: She made it to the parking lot of the prom
Speaker 1: and then got done and then found a new problem
Speaker 1: dame to take her to the prom. But like like
Speaker 1: you said, going into the like just forgetting about everything
Speaker 1: that literally happened fifteen minutes after I got voted in.
Speaker 1: So it's like you just you just forget everything that
Speaker 1: go that's going on. This could be your last night here.
Speaker 1: You want to just like don't think about it. And
Speaker 1: you then go down and then you have our bartender
Speaker 1: Ryan just feeding the shots of Buck. I think we
Speaker 1: took like four shots of Buck in like ten minutes.
Speaker 1: You know what I you know what I feel like
Speaker 1: watching you even explain this, And obviously from like a
Speaker 1: viewer's perspective, you don't really get to understand how quick
Speaker 1: the paces of filming, Like you're saying, you go from
Speaker 1: this nomination and then you immediately go to this party,
Speaker 1: and like while you're there, you're just living in the
Speaker 1: moment because this is the first time you're back seeing
Speaker 1: all these people. You're enjoying the time you're in Cancoon
Speaker 1: with your friends who you haven't seen since Real World
Speaker 1: or what ever season you were on with them last.
Speaker 1: On the regular Challenge is not that energy when we
Speaker 1: go to a club, we are feeling we're all in
Speaker 1: our political bag. We're all trying to figure out what's
Speaker 1: going on. Like for you watching it as an old
Speaker 1: school player being back in the game and then also
Speaker 1: seeing like how the new school challenges. Do you feel
Speaker 1: like it would be a ridiculous merge if both of
Speaker 1: our squads were on the same show filming, Like what
Speaker 1: do you feel like that would be? Like, I feel
Speaker 1: like it's gonna be one of those, it's gonna be
Speaker 1: like a little high school click saying like, oh those
Speaker 1: are those bitches, at those look at those new as
Speaker 1: bitches like coming into our high school, transferring from the
Speaker 1: like the ghetto school over there. Now. No, um, I
Speaker 1: want to know this. Early in the episode, Nee and
Speaker 1: Maya wants to go against either Ryan or you. What
Speaker 1: do you think he was thinking? Do you think he
Speaker 1: was bullshitting? So honestly, what I think he was thinking?
Speaker 1: Like all of these guys think, and I'm talking about
Speaker 1: the old school challenge, the New School challenge, they think
Speaker 1: it all the time. They think the gay guy is disposable.
Speaker 1: It was seen on your guys Spieslies and Allies, Corey
Speaker 1: winning even though that was stupid. It was a big
Speaker 1: gas guy. Yeah whatever, Like but you guys had your
Speaker 1: better in alliance. That's fine, Like it works in your
Speaker 1: favor for some reason. But just like every other guy
Speaker 1: I Ryan can attested this to, I just feel like
Speaker 1: they think we're disposable and like, oh, that's the easy
Speaker 1: way out. But I'm like, in reality, it just makes
Speaker 1: you kind of look weak because Okay, yeah, you're smart
Speaker 1: and you're taking somebody out there. You know, you can beat,
Speaker 1: but you're also not really proving anything. Like, Okay, you
Speaker 1: took out a guy that's smaller than you, cool like
Speaker 1: and just like, well, give me Bryan first and then
Speaker 1: give me the second. Wait, Ryan, introduce yourself. Sorry. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I'm Ryan key Hooe, who's also an
Speaker 1: all star on to my girls, my bunk made. He
Speaker 1: came down to the here. I love that. It's amazing
Speaker 1: that we have you talking from the from the couch.
Speaker 1: I want I need both of you to come up
Speaker 1: in front and center because I can only hear half
Speaker 1: what you're saying, right, but I want to hear what
Speaker 1: you gotta say. Corey. I'm so sorry, and I can't
Speaker 1: wait to meet you one day. I I totally agree
Speaker 1: that they do think for some reason, gay men are disposable.
Speaker 1: I mean, Corey was huge. I mean just people in
Speaker 1: the community period. It doesn't really happen for the women
Speaker 1: as much, but definitely for the men, which I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't really understand what you're sex to do with
Speaker 1: your ability. So then then you go back, So okay,
Speaker 1: so I get eliminated, right, So now all I'm gonna
Speaker 1: hear is like, why were you casting, you got eliminated first,
Speaker 1: like we thought you're going to So I like it
Speaker 1: sucks because yeah, I was, but I didn't even get
Speaker 1: to prove what I got to do the time that
Speaker 1: I won our first challenge in seasons. I made it
Speaker 1: to the very end because I'm capable of doing this ship,
Speaker 1: and if I get the opportunity to do it, I'm
Speaker 1: very good at it. Like I came in third in
Speaker 1: this like we actually thought we were winning at one point,
Speaker 1: like we still you were like in Lifetime thought that
Speaker 1: Derek was like the winner honestly, like him and Melinda
Speaker 1: can't to ask me. They were like, oh, they're the
Speaker 1: ones that that that won this ship, like they won
Speaker 1: this ship. And so when me and Ma had this like, oh,
Speaker 1: we're gonna we're gonna vote in whoever like performed poorly,
Speaker 1: well guess what this one did not perform poorly. Became
Speaker 1: a third literally like by like two seconds. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: was his whole thing too, Like he wanted to vote
Speaker 1: in people that did bad, and he like I couldn't
Speaker 1: even get partners names right because he was like, well
Speaker 1: you did bad with like Jasmine, I'm like a wrong
Speaker 1: gay That was Ryan. He was with Jasmine like we
Speaker 1: don't look alike, Like it's like one of those things.
Speaker 1: But I was like, I was like, I beat you,
Speaker 1: and I beat I beat Brad, I beat Drill, I
Speaker 1: beat I beat everybody except Derek and Steve, like I
Speaker 1: don't get out. So yeah, I think people have their
Speaker 1: own ideas about it, and they're just kind of sugarcoated
Speaker 1: or covered up by saying something else to safe face,
Speaker 1: which is I go against guys that they think are weaker,
Speaker 1: and that is the fucking truth. I thought you had
Speaker 1: him on that puzzle. I was like, oh, ship, no, girl,
Speaker 1: I gotta think so and and okay, so I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be one hundred of you and I'm not taking away
Speaker 1: Neama's win at all. He beat me. But as much
Speaker 1: as I said that I was wanting to be there,
Speaker 1: I was not in a headspace to be there. And
Speaker 1: I had just talked to my brother right before that elimination.
Speaker 1: He's like, Mom's coming because they were going to have
Speaker 1: a service for her here in Arizona, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I need to be there. So I was like, I
Speaker 1: need to I need to go. I'm not gonna I'm
Speaker 1: not a quitter. I'm not going to let just be
Speaker 1: like I have to go, you know, No. I wanted
Speaker 1: to still do that because if there was a chance
Speaker 1: that I could beat him, I was like, yeah, let's
Speaker 1: let's take it. I figured that puzzle out, the first
Speaker 1: one so fast, and I said, Okay, you gotta you
Speaker 1: gotta think about what you actually want to do. Do Do
Speaker 1: you want to stay here? Do you want to do this?
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I don't. So I literally gave like
Speaker 1: four wrong answers and I was waiting for me, am
Speaker 1: I to like go, so he was going. He was
Speaker 1: going though, and I saw him like all right, So
Speaker 1: then I like did the right number and I was going.
Speaker 1: He did his first two. I'm like, okay, bitch, like
Speaker 1: you let him go a little too far, like we
Speaker 1: can we gotta can't let him like take your ass.
Speaker 1: So I go and I catch up and the fucking
Speaker 1: third puzzle. I do that ship all the time. It's
Speaker 1: one of those things like guess the sign this sign
Speaker 1: equals this? The signing was this? What is both the
Speaker 1: signs equal? I do that ship all the time. I
Speaker 1: figured that puzzle out so fast, too, and I saw
Speaker 1: that he was going and like, say, the wrong number
Speaker 1: so I said the wrong number and they're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: oh my god. So you basically would have won. You
Speaker 1: threw the challenge. You threw it. Yeah, listen, like, come on,
Speaker 1: your what you just went through, what you experienced, there
Speaker 1: were there were bigger things going on. Yeah, I just
Speaker 1: want to get this out because I want other people
Speaker 1: to know. I lost gracefully. It was very close, but honestly,
Speaker 1: he would not have won that challenge had I been
Speaker 1: in a different mother Listen, neck and neck literally like
Speaker 1: seconds away from like not trying, but like you know,
Speaker 1: it's just crazy not you're not giving a hundred and
Speaker 1: being that close. I mean, you, your best would have
Speaker 1: probably beat most people. I know you're smart. That's why
Speaker 1: I was looking and I'm like, baby, no, you know trying.
Speaker 1: I knew it when I watched. I'm like, um, this
Speaker 1: is not um no, I know. So that first that
Speaker 1: first puzzle was how many fours were in this? And
Speaker 1: it was like iPhone and it like had the number
Speaker 1: like you've seen those puzzles. I like, I said the
Speaker 1: wrong numbers a couple of times. Then I even started
Speaker 1: doing stupid like it's because it's like how many fours
Speaker 1: are here? I'm like, well, that's four letters, Like so
Speaker 1: that's a four Like I was literally just like writing
Speaker 1: it down. The guy literally looking at me like what
Speaker 1: the funk are you doing? And I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I don't do that. Like wow, so she's still an
Speaker 1: actress over there, he is, she sure, but but no,
Speaker 1: but the feelings that you saw, I'm very I show
Speaker 1: everything regardless of what I do, and I like put
Speaker 1: myself out there. That's what we did this show so
Speaker 1: people can learn about us, like we lived our lives
Speaker 1: on TV and stuff. This was one of those moments
Speaker 1: that I was gonna be open and honest with everybody
Speaker 1: because the bigger picture is people need to know that
Speaker 1: this is a big deal and having a platform to
Speaker 1: tell people like if you feel the way that my
Speaker 1: sister felt, like, please just talk to somebody, like if
Speaker 1: it's just a neigh or if it's a stranger, if
Speaker 1: it's somebody at the store, like just tell them, like
Speaker 1: I'm hurting, like because I didn't get that opportunity. I
Speaker 1: literally saw my sister. We left on Wednesday. I saw
Speaker 1: my sister on Monday and she was supposed to come
Speaker 1: over and have we bottle bottle of champagne she was
Speaker 1: supposed to were supposed toast before I left, and she
Speaker 1: was like, I can't wait to see you Wednesday, Sissy, Like, oh,
Speaker 1: hold on, ah, I'm sorry, Derek. She didn't let me
Speaker 1: know that anything was going on with her, and she
Speaker 1: made it seem as if everything was okay and she
Speaker 1: I'm very happy though, because I got to give her
Speaker 1: a hug and say goodbye. It wasn't the good vibe
Speaker 1: that I was expecting, but I got to say goodbye,
Speaker 1: and that's she is, that she's always with you. And
Speaker 1: I mean that opening up like that, I can only
Speaker 1: imagine how many people are going to be able to
Speaker 1: now relining themselves to people that they think are in
Speaker 1: pain and that could be going through something. I mean,
Speaker 1: I can't even imagine your pain. And I'm sure there
Speaker 1: are people out there that you're going to influence their
Speaker 1: life and help them so much. So it's so brave
Speaker 1: of you to share all of this, and for the
Speaker 1: people that are left behind, you know, like you and
Speaker 1: your family, like there are other families that are struggling
Speaker 1: like that. So for you to go on this show
Speaker 1: and fight through it as the most insane thing, and
Speaker 1: it shows how strong you are as a person, and
Speaker 1: I not talked to my brother and things things happened
Speaker 1: for a reason, if I'm a very big believer of that.
Speaker 1: I wasn't even supposed to talk to my brother before
Speaker 1: that elimination because stuff had happened, and stuff got pushed back,
Speaker 1: like our elimination was supposed to be one day, just
Speaker 1: you know, like you know what happens, like she gets
Speaker 1: pushed back. So I wasn't supposed to talk to him
Speaker 1: that day, and I was able to. So it happens
Speaker 1: for a reason. But had I not talked to him,
Speaker 1: I know my family was going to be in town
Speaker 1: that weekend. Me and I wouldn't have one mm. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean, this is admirable, And you know I love you.
Speaker 1: I'm always the biggest supporter of you. I didn't even
Speaker 1: know what had happened. You and I hadn't talked about it,
Speaker 1: But I mean, I just I can't imagine, and you are.
Speaker 1: I didn't let anybody know. I didn't let Jasmine and
Speaker 1: John nay no. I didn't want to go into this
Speaker 1: situation with this on my already up front, because I
Speaker 1: didn't want to have people being like, oh, he just
Speaker 1: wants a pity. But because if you didn't, even if
Speaker 1: you don't think that, I don't know, there's just people
Speaker 1: out there like that, like he's doing pity, he's doing
Speaker 1: it for this like why. Like I didn't want anybodybody
Speaker 1: to know about it, so it didn't influence anything. I
Speaker 1: waited till we did our pictures. I waited till we
Speaker 1: did the first elimination. I waited till we moved into
Speaker 1: the house. I woud wait until everything No one knew
Speaker 1: until after the aberration. Yeah yeah, which at this point
Speaker 1: in time, you were already going in. So it's like, hey,
Speaker 1: this is like my story now I'm gonna just see.
Speaker 1: And that's what I wanted people to know. Like I
Speaker 1: wanted it to be out there. I just didn't want
Speaker 1: it to be before. And I knew I had to
Speaker 1: tell Johnny and Jasmine because as soon as I got
Speaker 1: there and he said I felt like we got into
Speaker 1: the bus to go to the house or to go
Speaker 1: to the when we just got picked U from the airport,
Speaker 1: I saw Johnny and I started crying, like what's going on.
Speaker 1: I go, there's something that I have to tell you.
Speaker 1: I just can't tell you now, but just know that
Speaker 1: I was like, just know that, I'm I'm I'm not
Speaker 1: me right now, and I I'm glad that I get
Speaker 1: to see you. I'm just we gotta wait a little bit.
Speaker 1: I was really happy you had that support system and
Speaker 1: the fact that you still showed up to the prom.
Speaker 1: I mean, in all your fashion it's fashion, honey, look
Speaker 1: it up. But that you still can perform, you still
Speaker 1: have this amazing personality, and then you still I could
Speaker 1: have crushed that elimination. And I'm always going to remind
Speaker 1: you of that from now on. You can. I think
Speaker 1: about it every day. Did I make the right decision? Listen,
Speaker 1: you did? You did? We have to do because you
Speaker 1: know what you don't get You don't always get a
Speaker 1: chance to say goodbye, and you you know, if you
Speaker 1: do have the opportunity and to be there for your family,
Speaker 1: that's that's not something that's every day that you know.
Speaker 1: So you did what you had to do. We don't regret.
Speaker 1: We just move forward and and I love you. I
Speaker 1: mean this this show, especially All Stars, has the ability
Speaker 1: to really pull on heartstrings. And I think that it's
Speaker 1: because of the cast, because you guys have been doing
Speaker 1: this for so long that you have this understanding of oh,
Speaker 1: I am willing to show this side of me truly
Speaker 1: and deeply. So you you showed us at this episode,
Speaker 1: and Ianna also showed us at this episode, like with
Speaker 1: with what she did in that in the elimination. I
Speaker 1: thought that was so powerful. I mean I cried both.
Speaker 1: I was trying. I'm not crying a litre episode. All
Speaker 1: the women sobbing there, I'm like, what are we just
Speaker 1: where we're watching lam is like what happens everything? Every
Speaker 1: person crying. But it was like I was a little
Speaker 1: and I was watching it. I'm like, because then you
Speaker 1: see me, am I helping to him? Like should I help?
Speaker 1: I was like no, I was like no, they got it.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm wallowing in my sadness right now too, like
Speaker 1: I'm not helping, Like yeah, yeah, But it was an
Speaker 1: amazing moment, and I think that it was great to
Speaker 1: see in person too, like it it was very empowering
Speaker 1: and I appreciate seeing it. It's just like I was
Speaker 1: just in a funked up headspace, like right of course, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, And that's the things there's so many different
Speaker 1: you have so many different people on the show with
Speaker 1: everybody has their own story. I mean, you've made me
Speaker 1: a fan of you for life, not because of anything
Speaker 1: that you've gone through, but because of how you carry
Speaker 1: yourself through it. It's just really inspiring to watch and
Speaker 1: think a lot of people can get a lot out
Speaker 1: of that. And same with everybody who really comes on
Speaker 1: the show, who opens up themselves and is that vulnerable. Um,
Speaker 1: do you feel like the Challenge family is a family
Speaker 1: in a sense to you, like john A being there
Speaker 1: for you during that time and Jazmine being there for
Speaker 1: you that time. Do you feel like you were with
Speaker 1: your family while that was happening in a sense, like
Speaker 1: like Ryan, Me and Ryan reconnecting and we were connected
Speaker 1: before obviously, you know, everybody calls each other like girl, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: we're just reconnecting with Ryan and knowing that he was
Speaker 1: gonna be there. I met Ryan and I sit with
Speaker 1: him and when he lived with Paula in and we
Speaker 1: became friends there and we've talked throughout the years. But literally,
Speaker 1: it's like one of those things, even with the Nie,
Speaker 1: that's one of those things like we're always going to
Speaker 1: be friends. In the moment that we reconnect, it's like
Speaker 1: nothing ever happened, Like we just started from day one,
Speaker 1: you know, but this one being older with Ryan and stuff,
Speaker 1: it's it's like, oh my god, that's like that's like
Speaker 1: a soulmate. That's not sexual. It's a very we're brothers
Speaker 1: and that all it is, and that's all it will
Speaker 1: ever be. That's my tor and I that's gonna think. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so I do. I do think that. Like going back
Speaker 1: into it, it's like family, and I made like closer friends,
Speaker 1: Like I love I fucking love Leo like she is hilarious.
Speaker 1: And I didn't know that I was gonna love Tina
Speaker 1: as much as I did. I was kind of intimidated
Speaker 1: by her just because bit Tina like that, like you know,
Speaker 1: like I was just like, oh, I don't know if
Speaker 1: I'm gonna like this bitch, like it's gonna be crazy.
Speaker 1: But no, like but you dressed up as her and
Speaker 1: then you felt like you could find oh and I'm
Speaker 1: real pissed that they didn't tell because like I went
Speaker 1: into the room with the boys and I go, who
Speaker 1: were it better? And they're like, oh, you didn't, Like
Speaker 1: I knew it, and then I was like I literally
Speaker 1: talked about how much better I looked in her dress
Speaker 1: with her satus flower than she did so, but no,
Speaker 1: so she was so good. She was actually so little
Speaker 1: tidbit from behind the scenes. I actually told her about
Speaker 1: what was going on with me before I told everybody else.
Speaker 1: And she she goes, why why did you do that?
Speaker 1: I go, I don't know. I just felt like some
Speaker 1: connection to you, and she goes, my sister passed away,
Speaker 1: not by the same reason, but she her sister passed
Speaker 1: away like a couple of years prior, and she's like,
Speaker 1: maybe that's what it was. It's just something like, you know,
Speaker 1: and I just and I think I was also just
Speaker 1: practicing to see how someone reacts, because obviously we're getting filmed,
Speaker 1: and I'm just like, okay, I'm like I'm already an
Speaker 1: ugly crier when I'm doing it or whatever. But I'm
Speaker 1: just like, welcome to the ugly cry club. Because I
Speaker 1: don't know if we were awful too. Yeah, it was
Speaker 1: the best thing too. So after I told so when
Speaker 1: it showed you by the way, I don't know if
Speaker 1: you guys noticed, because I noticed when I'm talking to
Speaker 1: Johnny on that chair in the corner, telling her my
Speaker 1: panties are showing under my dress, just panties, and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, cute girl, like you're having this moment,
Speaker 1: You're sucking granny pants are showing hanging out. No, I
Speaker 1: actually wore panties. I was. I wasn't how you were
Speaker 1: a lady that evening. But and this is why I
Speaker 1: like so much more. Production was very nice and they said, listen,
Speaker 1: you need to have your moment. Go cry on the
Speaker 1: beach with Johnny and Jazz. And we literally went out
Speaker 1: there and cried for like two out parts and just
Speaker 1: didn't have anything to do with the show. Was just
Speaker 1: me with my girls, when we were able to just
Speaker 1: open up and just be there for each other. And
Speaker 1: I think for people to know that production, you know
Speaker 1: there they're people too. I mean I went N eleven
Speaker 1: with them. I mean there has to be a point
Speaker 1: where all these humans there's are reacting to the same
Speaker 1: situation and it kind of tears down that wall of like, hey,
Speaker 1: we already got what we needed to get in that moment.
Speaker 1: Now I'm going to let you be because there's other
Speaker 1: stories to tell and yeah, and also let you grieve
Speaker 1: in peace, like not be assholes. So I think it's
Speaker 1: important that people know that and I need I need it,
Speaker 1: Like it was we had been there maybe like eleven
Speaker 1: twelve days already at that point, so I literally wasn't
Speaker 1: able to talk to anybody about anything for twelve days.
Speaker 1: Like it's just bottled up. So it's just like kind
Speaker 1: of bitch, just release, you know, like it's just fuck
Speaker 1: literally if you were stranded anywhere else with nowhere to
Speaker 1: go except for our house. I mean, shaan A is
Speaker 1: my little sister, you know that, And I feel like
Speaker 1: she is such a good soul. I'm glad that they
Speaker 1: showed the montage of like her talking about how close
Speaker 1: we are, because I would do anything for that girl.
Speaker 1: Like we we did this thing together, and we knew
Speaker 1: each other before, and like she did she lived with
Speaker 1: me on my couch and all I like was like, girl,
Speaker 1: like we're family, Like you can come live with me
Speaker 1: if you need to, like get your ship together, get
Speaker 1: on your feet, stay as long as you need to.
Speaker 1: I'm not turning for anything if you want to throw
Speaker 1: some money for bills whatever, but like your family, Like
Speaker 1: I would do this for any of my close friends
Speaker 1: or family, And that's what you are. Now. It's just
Speaker 1: like never changed. Are you saying that you want her
Speaker 1: to win this whole thing lucky. Yeah, Like if you
Speaker 1: saw me at the very end of the episode when
Speaker 1: I was leaving, I I yelled it out to I said,
Speaker 1: fuck me, am I and I said, and when this
Speaker 1: ship girl, Like I said, when when this ship? One
Speaker 1: of my girl needs to win it. But I love
Speaker 1: that we we had this like little pre alliance. It
Speaker 1: was a fresh meeting Cancun and we deemed the name
Speaker 1: can Meet canned meat can. Yeah, so it was it was.
Speaker 1: It was good my prior relationship. We're not prior, but
Speaker 1: like my relationships that I made with people prior to
Speaker 1: the show, to go into it. I even if it
Speaker 1: wasn't like a strong one and it didn't save me,
Speaker 1: it's it was a good one. And I know that
Speaker 1: whatever happens, my girls are gonna be good. You know,
Speaker 1: we've always got our canned meat can hand e. D
Speaker 1: just can meet can canned meats like oh tuna fish
Speaker 1: hand meat is like any random meet in the can.
Speaker 1: Before we asked this last question, I just want to know, Derek,
Speaker 1: if you get the opportunity to go on another All Stars,
Speaker 1: number one, will you do it? And number two are
Speaker 1: you coming back with any bad blood for anybody? Um? Yes,
Speaker 1: I will do it. Um, this is like this just
Speaker 1: let a fire under my ass and hopefully nothing like
Speaker 1: this is happens to me in the future to where
Speaker 1: it's gonna like stop me from performing what I needed
Speaker 1: to be. But I'm going to go into it and
Speaker 1: I am going to not necessarily have bad blood, but
Speaker 1: I am I'm coming for blood. I guess that that
Speaker 1: means something like I'm gonna fucking just do whatever it
Speaker 1: takes to make sure my ass isn't going home first,
Speaker 1: Like I mean, can I be a part of your
Speaker 1: can meet Ania, can beat Niece, Nisy meat Missy, can
Speaker 1: meet can meet Nissa Canisa? But that sounds foreign girl,
Speaker 1: that sounds luxurious type of caveat. Yeah, we'll think about it.
Speaker 1: We have time to think about it. Yeah, Okay. So
Speaker 1: we have a final question that we ask everybody. Derek,
Speaker 1: okay and he so you take it away. I do
Speaker 1: the final question on the other one. You do the
Speaker 1: final question on this all right, This is our final
Speaker 1: question for you, Derek, even though I don't want you
Speaker 1: to leave ever. So you're competing on All Stars, which
Speaker 1: is all about the greatest players of all time. So
Speaker 1: I want to hear your greatest of all time for
Speaker 1: greatest competitor, greatest season, and the greatest challenge that I
Speaker 1: was a part of, or justin Jack, I think in
Speaker 1: general of like who you think the best competitor is?
Speaker 1: Who you think what do you think that was the
Speaker 1: best season of the challenge, and like what challenge specifically
Speaker 1: you've seen or participated in that you think is the best. Um,
Speaker 1: I think the greatest Challenge competitor would have. It's like
Speaker 1: a toss up between a few people, But like, I
Speaker 1: think Lannon is up there. I think Darrell because Durrell's
Speaker 1: sucking one four in a row, the only person to
Speaker 1: fucking win four in a row. That's fucking's insane, legendary. Yeah. Um,
Speaker 1: And I also think I'm not gonna give Johnny the
Speaker 1: credit and I'm not gonna give cg the credit because
Speaker 1: that's tired of It's it's very obvious that you say them,
Speaker 1: you know, It's just it's not that I want to
Speaker 1: give fucking fucking Brittany. Brittany she was Sharad back in
Speaker 1: the day on Duel Too, a fucking high five, because
Speaker 1: that fucking bitch went and did the ship like it
Speaker 1: was Rachel who she was competing against, but she as
Speaker 1: a rookie, she fucking did the thing. I mean all
Speaker 1: three of us were in that final thank you, It's okay,
Speaker 1: an hour up and down that mountain. Yes, canis meat
Speaker 1: coming living room? No, But honestly, I was just thrown
Speaker 1: the brittany thing in and throw a littlehape because the
Speaker 1: oh so best challenge I think is um or not dual. No,
Speaker 1: actually I like both duels, like I like the individual game.
Speaker 1: I think those are so cool and I've always wanted. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was part of Cutthroat, which was a first like
Speaker 1: three team challenge. I was part of a four person
Speaker 1: team challenge that they hadn't done before, and then I
Speaker 1: was Arrival, So I've had teams this entire time. I
Speaker 1: would like because I think this is actually work in
Speaker 1: my favorite I would like to just compete alone, but
Speaker 1: you don't. You're paired up the whole time. You're in
Speaker 1: the duel for the most part until like certain things
Speaker 1: are individual. But it wasn't like an unspoken like saying
Speaker 1: like he's like, yeah, I was with m J the
Speaker 1: whole time, but then like when you got to the bottom,
Speaker 1: you got to call out whoever you wanted. There's where
Speaker 1: the individual ship came in because you just started eliminating
Speaker 1: people like so go back to nothing so free agents,
Speaker 1: because free agents they were by themselves. Yes, you had
Speaker 1: to do like what we're doing now and it's like
Speaker 1: a partner team, but it was by yourself. It kind
Speaker 1: of was the same thing though. Yeah, all of those
Speaker 1: kind of except for the team masks. I love this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Bryan's just given. No one's going to see this clearly
Speaker 1: because I never look great while we're doing this now,
Speaker 1: Like we're literally having this serious conversation of Ryan just
Speaker 1: st candy stroke in the candies. Incredible. Oh my god, Derek, Seriously,
Speaker 1: it's been a pleasure having you Ryan. It's been a
Speaker 1: pleasure having you as well. Thank you so much for
Speaker 1: coming on the show and opening up and being so
Speaker 1: vulnerable and sharing your experiences because seriously, it's gonna help
Speaker 1: so many people, So thank you. I know. That's that's
Speaker 1: my main goal was to bring awareness to suicide and
Speaker 1: depression and just knowing and letting people know that there
Speaker 1: are people out there to talk to, there's hotlines, there's
Speaker 1: everything you can think of, so that way, that's not
Speaker 1: your only option, you know, so yeah, they're so strong.
Speaker 1: I can't even imagine the strength that you have to
Speaker 1: have to be able to have these conversations. So thank
Speaker 1: you so much. Seriously, there was like a national well
Speaker 1: we'll talk about it later. We can plug that, so
Speaker 1: please plug the national hotline. Plug all you can to
Speaker 1: bring awareness to it, because like last flor in September
Speaker 1: when it was suicide Awareness Month and all that stuff,
Speaker 1: like I was like I was trying to plug everything,
Speaker 1: like could I'm so I mean, obviously, you don't want
Speaker 1: to be like fucking like what's the word? Um, you
Speaker 1: don't want to be somebody that's just knows what that
Speaker 1: is because you don't want to have to go through that.
Speaker 1: But because so I was so new to it, like
Speaker 1: I wanted to be informed and I wanted to give information,
Speaker 1: like I had no idea what to do, but I'm
Speaker 1: everything that somebody is closing, like yes, please, somebody talk
Speaker 1: about it, like let's do this, like please. So yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I love you and where can we follow you and
Speaker 1: how can we support you? I'm on Instagram. So we
Speaker 1: had this whole running joke because I was MTV Derek
Speaker 1: before Derek was Derek MTV. I try stth doing the shows.
Speaker 1: I was like, bit, you haven't been on MTV in
Speaker 1: like five Um, so I am just my name, uh
Speaker 1: D Derek C. But it's with dots in between each letters.
Speaker 1: Was D dot E R R dot E dot K
Speaker 1: dot C. And then Twitter is the same thing, but
Speaker 1: with underscoorse and I don't do I don't do TikTok.
Speaker 1: I don't do only fans yet. Um, everybody be on
Speaker 1: the lookout before the can meet only fans backslash cant
Speaker 1: canned meat. You want to see my canned meat? Yes,
Speaker 1: in the prom dress with the with the panties on
Speaker 1: cann met granting pantis girl girl. Thanks for getting me
Speaker 1: on this of course for a long time. It's good
Speaker 1: to reconnect with Anissa Tori. We met briefly in Brooklyn.
Speaker 1: That was fun. Yeah, to talk to you actually talked
Speaker 1: to you. Is that when Tori was drunk? What you
Speaker 1: met everybody? Yes, Okay, we're gonna have to try that again.
Speaker 1: I'm sure definitely meet again. Please take a shot for us.
Speaker 1: You guys are over there fucking turning it up, doing
Speaker 1: it the right way. I gotta get on Arizona time
Speaker 1: because I'm trying to live like that. So take your
Speaker 1: shot for me. I'll creep in your d M s
Speaker 1: and be like, hey, girl, that's me. I already followed you,
Speaker 1: already looked to you much dot dot dot dot, dear
Speaker 1: if you want to follow deer you know. Alright, alright, alright, girls.
Speaker 1: Well that was an emotional yet fun interview with Derek UM.
Speaker 1: I want to thank him for being so open and
Speaker 1: transparent about UM, what was going on with his sister,
Speaker 1: his emotions, and how he was even able to compete
Speaker 1: on this challenge. So kudos to him. Thank you for
Speaker 1: your bravery and your perseverance. I know it couldn't have
Speaker 1: been easy for him. If any of you are struggling,
Speaker 1: know if someone struggling, there are ways, there are people
Speaker 1: to talk to. UM. You can reach out to the
Speaker 1: National Suicide Prevention Hotline, which is of available to you
Speaker 1: twenty four hours a day. The number is two seven, three,
Speaker 1: eight to five five yes. And additionally, you guys can
Speaker 1: go to a f SP dot org, which is the
Speaker 1: American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. So there are a lot
Speaker 1: of outlets for you guys. If you need help, it
Speaker 1: is out there, and please don't be afraid to ask yes,
Speaker 1: because that the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention has an awesome, awesome,
Speaker 1: UM website, they have phone numbers, they have stuff to
Speaker 1: do for suicide survivors. I mean, there's so much information
Speaker 1: out there. UM, there's help everywhere, and like Tori said,
Speaker 1: don't be afraid to ask or reach out. UM, people
Speaker 1: will be there for you and are there for you.
Speaker 1: And if you're struggling emotionally or dealing with a loss,
Speaker 1: visit mental health is health dot us for resources and support.
Speaker 1: Thank you guys so much for watching. This has been
Speaker 1: an incredible episode and it's been moving, We've been crying,
Speaker 1: and I can't wait to see what happens the rest
Speaker 1: of the season. Just make sure that you got guys
Speaker 1: are watching and listen every Thursday as we go behind
Speaker 1: the scenes of The Challenge Spy Sizes and Allies, and
Speaker 1: then join us Fridays as we pull back the curtain
Speaker 1: on season two of The Challenge All Stars only on
Speaker 1: MTV's official Challenge Podcast.