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Speaker 1: Misogynist says, I'll never be able to have kids. Fine,

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Speaker 1: here's how I'm going to get my revenge, ghastly revenge.

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Speaker 2: We love it, delicious misogynists.

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Speaker 1: Oh, yes, by hanging revolution. So my female thirty five

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Speaker 1: sister female twenty seven started dating one of those brutally

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Speaker 1: honest guys a few months ago.

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Speaker 2: Otherwise, no, it is an atoll.

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Speaker 1: Correct. He could be quite rude and make back candid

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Speaker 1: comments about me and the family sometimes, which is bothersome.

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Speaker 1: But my sister says he's not malicious, but he's just

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Speaker 1: brutally honest and we should just get used to it.

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Speaker 1: He's just trying to speak his mind.

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Speaker 2: He's just expressing himself. Bro to alpha.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, such a beta. I visited my parents' house to

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Speaker 1: celebrate my sister's birthday, and my husband couldn't come with

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Speaker 1: me because he was busy. After the party, we all

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Speaker 1: sat down for dinner and my sister's boyfriend said, it

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Speaker 1: was weird that my husband and I don't have kids

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Speaker 1: despite being married for six years now.

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Speaker 2: That is such an out of pocket statement. Why why

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Speaker 2: would it weird?

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Speaker 1: How you are barren, kind of crazy, how your uterus

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Speaker 1: is defunct?

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Speaker 2: I thought, a woman's purpose was to have children, and

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Speaker 2: I see that you are without, so uh, you have

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Speaker 2: no purpose?

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Speaker 1: Just the Sheldon of the in this Big Bang Theory

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Speaker 1: of stories.

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Speaker 2: But instead of being like quirky and nerdy, he's quirky

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Speaker 2: and and yes and an apple. Yes.

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Speaker 1: I was shocked that he brought this up, but I

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Speaker 1: gave a short answer, stating that it's because of infertility issues.

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Speaker 2: He asked on which side? And why are you trying

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Speaker 2: to get more info on this? He's like, yeah, who

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Speaker 2: should I blame for this?

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Speaker 1: And I didn't want to answer, but my sister said

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Speaker 1: it's on my side. Also way out of line, my God, like,

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Speaker 1: forget each other. I get truly, I got uncomfortable as

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Speaker 1: he looked at me for a second and said that

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Speaker 1: maybe not having kids now is a good thing, because

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Speaker 1: he thought that women over thirty might produce defective babies

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Speaker 1: due to age.

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Speaker 2: Borrow, What is wrong with you? I think you were

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Speaker 2: a defective baby? Good sir?

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Speaker 1: Literally like, my.

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Speaker 2: Like, even if this is true, even if it's true,

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Speaker 2: which it's not entirely, yes, like, the risk of pregnancy

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Speaker 2: stuff increases as you get older. But even if it

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Speaker 2: was true, you don't go saying like that defective babies

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Speaker 2: a fricking dinner party. What insane?

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Speaker 1: I told him it was none of his business, but

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Speaker 1: he said that he's just given.

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Speaker 2: His honest opinion. Your honest opinion sucks. It literally does

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Speaker 2: no one asks for it. Literally, you are contributing nothing.

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Speaker 2: You're a sack of and that's just my honest opinion.

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Speaker 2: So wow, you're so you're so brutally honest. I just

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Speaker 2: try to speak my truth. This guy's acts absolutely wizard

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Speaker 2: sleeve of a flapping fluttery.

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Speaker 1: He's just expressing himself. I in return told him, while

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Speaker 1: maintaining eye contact, trust me, if I wanted an asshole's opinion,

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Speaker 1: I would have farted.

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Speaker 2: Boom baby, Mike drop. Just destroy this dude for real?

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Speaker 2: What a comeback?

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Speaker 1: Ope, he's like a comedian over here doing some crowd work. Literally,

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Speaker 1: everyone at the table burst into laughter, and my sister

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Speaker 1: and boyfriend were stunned.

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Speaker 2: Shame, shame.

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Speaker 1: A few seconds later, her boyfriend excused himself out and

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Speaker 1: my sister followed. Then sent me a text afterwards saying

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Speaker 1: that they left, saying I was mean, disrespectful towards her

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Speaker 1: boyfriend and insulted him maliciously.

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Speaker 2: Just because he stated his opinion. Oh, his opinion sucked.

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Speaker 1: You know, It's so funny how she was just stating

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Speaker 1: her opinion and then he.

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Speaker 2: He couldn't take it the wrong way. He couldn't take

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Speaker 2: him take the heat. Kind of funny. Yeah, interesting, how

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Speaker 2: could only go one way. She also said that I

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Speaker 2: ruined her birthday by being petty and making her boyfriend

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Speaker 2: the joke of the night in front of the family.

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Speaker 2: He made himself the joke.

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Speaker 1: Truly, he is a joke.

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Speaker 2: He's a fat joke.

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Speaker 1: I didn't respond, but she demanded an apology via male

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Speaker 1: some reason as soon as possible.

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Speaker 2: May weird?

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Speaker 1: What is this apology?

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Speaker 2: Pigeon?

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Speaker 1: Damn, sister, I am so wellesley.

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Speaker 2: Sorry. It's been a fortnight since I spoke to you

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Speaker 2: last because you brought me to tears with what you

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Speaker 2: said to my betrothed.

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Speaker 1: Mom agreed that I shouldn't have said what I said

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Speaker 1: and should have just ignored him, knowing how he is.

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Speaker 1: I don't think I'm the a hole, but I'm not sure.

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Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, let's put this arrest light light up

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Speaker 1: those comments.

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Speaker 2: Yeah no, Sam, okay say it. I'm about to say

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Speaker 2: hot take Okay, all right, I think op is a

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Speaker 2: little bit the ahole. Okay. The reason I say that

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Speaker 2: is although he was an actole, I think he was

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Speaker 2: like somewhat unin intentionally. Maybe so he's like asking like

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Speaker 2: like kind of fully questions, but I don't think he

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Speaker 2: was like he wasn't intent. I don't know if he

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Speaker 2: was being intentional by like making op feel uncomfortable and

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Speaker 2: then Op he went and just was like this dude

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Speaker 2: and insult with him directly. I think he deserves its, right,

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Speaker 2: But if OPI is trying to be like the best

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Speaker 2: person possible a little solely to insult him even though

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Speaker 2: he deserved.

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Speaker 1: It, if we're fighting kindness with against fire, yeah right, yeah,

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Speaker 1: an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, right,

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Speaker 1: But then I get a bunch of eyeballs.

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Speaker 2: That is true, And so if you want to collect eyeballs,

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Speaker 2: I would say collect go the Ope method. But there's

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Speaker 2: also like I think op could have been like, like,

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Speaker 2: if we're trying to like the the nicest thing that

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Speaker 2: Opie could do, like maybe tell the guy, Hey, really

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Speaker 2: uncomfortable with these questions, can you just like not ask those? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: And then if he crosses the lines, like then and

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Speaker 2: then maybe bring out another.

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Speaker 1: You could also like pull them aside and be like,

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Speaker 1: why are you asking me these these like these are really.

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Speaker 2: Personal question for real. Yeah, I know. But hey, Zinger

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Speaker 2: worked pretty well though, so that's right. But what do

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Speaker 2: you think put in the comments? My Tinder date brought

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Speaker 2: the body of his on a wife mother to the dates.

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Speaker 1: Bruh, I've heard, I've heard of weird dates, but this one,

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Speaker 1: this one tops the charts.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, let me introduce you to my mother. She is

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Speaker 2: yet oh man. Like many other unfortunate souls, my non

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Speaker 2: existent dating life has turned me to the dating app.

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Speaker 1: World, indeed, the shadow realm.

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Speaker 2: This particular one is Tinder. I've been chatting with a

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Speaker 2: guy for a few days and everything was going swimmingly, swimmingly.

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Speaker 2: We had so much in common, we were looking for

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Speaker 2: the same things. His pictures were cute, and he didn't

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Speaker 2: live too far away. Perfect by him. All seemed well.

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Speaker 2: So I invited him over for a grill out some

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Speaker 2: burgers in my backyard. Yeah, that's a it's very like

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Speaker 2: it's an awesome date. I think it's very it's a

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Speaker 2: very Uh. I just wouldn't expect that, like a cookout

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Speaker 2: for your first date. I've never been invited to a cookout.

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Speaker 1: I think it's kind of cause it's like it's publiced,

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Speaker 1: so like if it's weird, you could kind of go

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Speaker 1: off and do your own thing. It's not just like

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Speaker 1: you're sitting at a restaurant, Like what if someone brings

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Speaker 1: their dead mother, you don't want to sit with them

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Speaker 1: at the table anymore.

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Speaker 2: But it's also in your imagine, it's just into a backyard.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, oh yeah, I guess it's maybe is it a

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Speaker 1: cookout for two? Is it like a whole?

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Speaker 2: I think it's a cookout for two. I think it's

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Speaker 2: like I'm just firing up the grill in my backyard.

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Speaker 1: Maybe that's worse than because then they're stuck in your house.

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Speaker 2: And you're stuck. Or at least he can grill mom.

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Speaker 1: Don't worry, I brought the meats.

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Speaker 2: So I invited him over to grill out some burgers

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Speaker 2: in my backyard. I just got that totally, don't bring

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Speaker 2: the meat. He asked if he could bring anything. I said, sure,

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Speaker 2: brings some bacon for the burgers. He agreed, and that

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Speaker 2: he'd be over there soon. Given his distance, I expected

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Speaker 2: it to be over in a short fifth teen minutes.

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Speaker 2: So I fired up the grill and seasoned the bergs.

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Speaker 2: Half an hour woo. Half an hour later, he messaged

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Speaker 2: me I've driven bast a couple times and chicking out

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Speaker 2: are you sure you want me to come over? Maybe

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Speaker 2: a red flag? But I chalked it up to nerves

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Speaker 2: and just said, hey, I'm hungry, get over here, bro.

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Speaker 2: So this hoggard looking guy shows up much different than

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Speaker 2: his Cedric pictures. You know Cedric degree.

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Speaker 1: Oh bro, he'd be looking.

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Speaker 2: I dig ite. That's all right, I can move past it.

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Speaker 2: From the minute he walked up, and I kid you not,

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Speaker 2: he did not take a breath within the first five minutes.

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Speaker 2: I knew his life story from his aunt who hated

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Speaker 2: their grandma, to his father who likes to collect taxidermy.

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Speaker 2: Not a single breath. And bro, if you have like

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Speaker 2: relatives that are collecting taxi ermy, check his floorboards because

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Speaker 2: that man might be a serial killer. Again, I just

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Speaker 2: figured he was nerves, So I put the burgers on

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Speaker 2: and when they're ready, he pulls out a ziplock from

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Speaker 2: his pocket with two pieces of bacon in it and

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Speaker 2: puts them only on his burger. So like, you didn't

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Speaker 2: even bring the bacon to cook. He cooked the bacon

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Speaker 2: and then put him only in his burger.

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Speaker 1: See it's and it's that's not even necessarily like terrible,

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Speaker 1: but it's just it's just.

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Speaker 2: Why, why why would you do that? We sit down

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Speaker 2: in the patio and start eating. I finished my burger

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Speaker 2: before he even started his. He did not stop talking

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Speaker 2: the entire time. When we sit down, he reaches into

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Speaker 2: his pocket and pulls out a vial. It's about two

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Speaker 2: inches tall, with a cork in it. It's filled with

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Speaker 2: black powder. Oh, he must have noticed me staring at it,

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Speaker 2: flipping between if he was about to snort something strange

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Speaker 2: or build some sand dart. He said, oh, all super casual.

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Speaker 2: I'd like to introduce you to my mother. No, the mother. No, no,

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Speaker 2: And then he proceeds to say I want to have

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Speaker 2: a little bite of her every time I eat, to

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Speaker 2: remember her and keep her memory with me. Stop, and

201
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Speaker 2: he proceeds to salt his burger with his own mother.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, what what is wrong with this person?

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Speaker 2: I just stared at him for what felt like an eternity.

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Speaker 2: I didn't know whether to laugh, cry or run. I

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Speaker 2: like to bring her to anything. I like to bring

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Speaker 2: her with me to any important event in my life.

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Speaker 2: She also has ashes in this necklace I'm wearing, and

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Speaker 2: this ring I have on, and this half sleeve tattoo

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Speaker 2: is for her. Did they did he use the his

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Speaker 2: mother in the sleeve?

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Speaker 1: I mean it kind of sounds like it.

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Speaker 2: Brah. This guy's This guy's eating his mom, good God,

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Speaker 2: when he should be eating at his date. Hey, now,

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Speaker 2: mind you. I've lost many people close to me, and

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Speaker 2: I don't judge people based on their grief cycles. We

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Speaker 2: all cope differently and respect that. But a homeboy brought

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Speaker 2: a vial of his mother's ashes and set them on

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Speaker 2: the table for our first date.

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Speaker 1: That, ain't it?

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Speaker 2: Chief? I simply could not. He finally finished his burger

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Speaker 2: and I made some excuse about having to clock in

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Speaker 2: and finish some work at nine to thirty pm. He

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Speaker 2: texted me before he even got into his car and

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Speaker 2: told me, my mother really liked you. I can't wait

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Speaker 2: to see you again.

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Speaker 1: She can't like you because she's ashes.

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Speaker 2: God. I told him I didn't feel a connection to

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Speaker 2: him or his mother. Bam. There you have it, public

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Speaker 2: data check. Make sure you don't date creeps. Get checked, y'all,

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Speaker 2: or his mom ashes