WEBVTT - Make time to connect

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Yesterday I encouraged you to make time for delight, to

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<v Speaker 1>pause and notice anything unexpected or beautiful. In a similar vein,

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<v Speaker 1>today's tip is to make time for connection. No matter

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<v Speaker 1>how busy you feel, you do have time to engage

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<v Speaker 1>meaningfully with the people around you, both in person and virtually.

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<v Speaker 1>In the long run, moments like these probably matter more

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<v Speaker 1>than many other demands that feel urgent people, it turns out,

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<v Speaker 1>are a good use of time. I keep track of

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<v Speaker 1>my time. I have for five years now, and so

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<v Speaker 1>I know exactly how I spend my hours. When I

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<v Speaker 1>first pulled together this episode, it was February, and I've

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<v Speaker 1>been noticing how long my weekday mornings had become. With

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<v Speaker 1>kids in three different schools plus an infant, everyone was

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<v Speaker 1>on a different schedule. I would be up early feeding

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<v Speaker 1>the baby. Then I'd have my coffee while the middle

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<v Speaker 1>schooler was eating breakfast so he could head off to

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<v Speaker 1>his early morning choir practice, with my husband usually driving him.

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<v Speaker 1>The preschooler would wind up in the kitchen at some

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<v Speaker 1>point after that, followed by the elementary school aged kids.

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<v Speaker 1>I would often be sitting in my kitchen and breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>mode for ninety minutes. In the original version of this episode,

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<v Speaker 1>I mentioned that this was a lot of time, but

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<v Speaker 1>in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't that much time.

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<v Speaker 1>I decided to make my peace with it, because these

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<v Speaker 1>long mornings spent over the breakfast table meant that I

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<v Speaker 1>was available for whatever my kids wanted to talk about

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<v Speaker 1>before they all went their separate ways. Well fast forward

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<v Speaker 1>two months, and these days no one is going much

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<v Speaker 1>of anywhere. Mornings have changed a lot, so of all

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<v Speaker 1>the other hours. We're connecting quite a bit these days,

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<v Speaker 1>more than any of us ever thought we would. There

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<v Speaker 1>are some challenges to this, of course, and there are

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<v Speaker 1>also some upsides. In the past, I was often trying

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<v Speaker 1>to convince myself that, yes, you have time to connect,

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<v Speaker 1>you don't have to race off. Now that there is

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<v Speaker 1>nowhere to go, this is even more apparent. Of course,

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<v Speaker 1>eventually life will get back to something approaching normal. If

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<v Speaker 1>there is any good coming out of all this social isolation,

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<v Speaker 1>I hope it is a recognition that our connections to

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<v Speaker 1>others are incredibly precious. I hope this realization will challenge

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<v Speaker 1>us to see that even in a busy schedule, it's

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<v Speaker 1>worth looking for times to connect. It's worth realizing when

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<v Speaker 1>these times are happening, that you don't actually have to

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<v Speaker 1>rush off to the next thing. This is true for

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<v Speaker 1>family members, for friends, for colleagues, and even for people

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<v Speaker 1>you don't necessarily consider yourself to be all that close to.

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<v Speaker 1>Someday people will be walking back into their offices, and

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<v Speaker 1>when you do walk into that office, you can recognize

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<v Speaker 1>that you have time to say hello to the security guard.

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<v Speaker 1>You have time to ask your colleague about the baseball

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<v Speaker 1>game he was so excited about, and you have time

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<v Speaker 1>to listen to his answer. You have time to look

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<v Speaker 1>the person behind the lunch counter in the eye and

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<v Speaker 1>ask her how she's doing, and to thank her for

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<v Speaker 1>handing you your sandwich. We may appreciate this on some level.

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<v Speaker 1>You know full well that you aren't being efficient by

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<v Speaker 1>deleting email newsletters on your phone while you're in the

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<v Speaker 1>lunch line. When life gets back to normal, will be

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<v Speaker 1>thrilled with humanity for a while, and then we will

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<v Speaker 1>revert to the same bad habits. That's why it helps

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<v Speaker 1>to keep repeating this phrase. People are a good use

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<v Speaker 1>of time. Indeed, connections can make us feel like we

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<v Speaker 1>have more time. For my book Off the Clock, I

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<v Speaker 1>had nine hundred busy people track their time for a day.

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<v Speaker 1>I found that the people who spent the most time

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<v Speaker 1>engaged with family and friends had the most abundant perspective

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<v Speaker 1>on time. They felt like they had more time than

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<v Speaker 1>people who spent an equivalent quantity of time on TV

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<v Speaker 1>or social media. When you keep repeating the phrase that

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<v Speaker 1>people are a good use of time, it helps direct

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<v Speaker 1>you and that split second at the photocopier when you

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<v Speaker 1>decide whether or not to engage with the colleague who

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<v Speaker 1>wants to tell you about her engagement, or when you

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<v Speaker 1>decide to pick up the call from that elderly relative

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<v Speaker 1>that would be so easy to dismiss because you're trying

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<v Speaker 1>to wrap up at work, or when you run into

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<v Speaker 1>a neighbor getting off the subway that you're about to

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<v Speaker 1>get on. You can see that there's another train arriving

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<v Speaker 1>in three minutes, so you can talk about the building's

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<v Speaker 1>seasonal decorations and be fully present, knowing that you weren't

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<v Speaker 1>going to do anything more important in those three minutes. Truly,

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<v Speaker 1>you do have time to connect. You'll still get where

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<v Speaker 1>you need to go, but the journey will be richer

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<v Speaker 1>and more meaningful along the way. How do you make

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<v Speaker 1>time for connection? I hope you'll let me know. You

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<v Speaker 1>can reach me at Before Breakfast podcast at ihart media

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<v Speaker 1>dot com. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening,

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<v Speaker 1>and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

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<v Speaker 1>I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

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<v Speaker 1>your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

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<v Speaker 1>me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod.

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<v Speaker 1>That's b E the number four, then Breakfast p o D.

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<v Speaker 1>You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>podcast at i heeart media dot com. That Before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much,

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<v Speaker 1>I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is

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<v Speaker 1>a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from

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<v Speaker 1>I Heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

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<v Speaker 1>or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.