1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,720 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio. 2 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:14,040 Speaker 1: Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. 3 00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:18,319 Speaker 1: Yesterday I encouraged you to make time for delight, to 4 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:23,520 Speaker 1: pause and notice anything unexpected or beautiful. In a similar vein, 5 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:27,760 Speaker 1: today's tip is to make time for connection. No matter 6 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:30,920 Speaker 1: how busy you feel, you do have time to engage 7 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:35,440 Speaker 1: meaningfully with the people around you, both in person and virtually. 8 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:39,920 Speaker 1: In the long run, moments like these probably matter more 9 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:45,360 Speaker 1: than many other demands that feel urgent people, it turns out, 10 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:49,720 Speaker 1: are a good use of time. I keep track of 11 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:52,360 Speaker 1: my time. I have for five years now, and so 12 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:55,600 Speaker 1: I know exactly how I spend my hours. When I 13 00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:58,959 Speaker 1: first pulled together this episode, it was February, and I've 14 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:02,560 Speaker 1: been noticing how long my weekday mornings had become. With 15 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:06,360 Speaker 1: kids in three different schools plus an infant, everyone was 16 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,880 Speaker 1: on a different schedule. I would be up early feeding 17 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:12,680 Speaker 1: the baby. Then I'd have my coffee while the middle 18 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:15,319 Speaker 1: schooler was eating breakfast so he could head off to 19 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:19,720 Speaker 1: his early morning choir practice, with my husband usually driving him. 20 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:21,760 Speaker 1: The preschooler would wind up in the kitchen at some 21 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:25,000 Speaker 1: point after that, followed by the elementary school aged kids. 22 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:28,200 Speaker 1: I would often be sitting in my kitchen and breakfast 23 00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:32,920 Speaker 1: mode for ninety minutes. In the original version of this episode, 24 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:35,560 Speaker 1: I mentioned that this was a lot of time, but 25 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:38,320 Speaker 1: in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't that much time. 26 00:01:38,959 --> 00:01:41,720 Speaker 1: I decided to make my peace with it, because these 27 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:44,640 Speaker 1: long mornings spent over the breakfast table meant that I 28 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:47,440 Speaker 1: was available for whatever my kids wanted to talk about 29 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:52,160 Speaker 1: before they all went their separate ways. Well fast forward 30 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:55,680 Speaker 1: two months, and these days no one is going much 31 00:01:55,800 --> 00:02:00,200 Speaker 1: of anywhere. Mornings have changed a lot, so of all 32 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:03,240 Speaker 1: the other hours. We're connecting quite a bit these days, 33 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:07,200 Speaker 1: more than any of us ever thought we would. There 34 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:09,720 Speaker 1: are some challenges to this, of course, and there are 35 00:02:09,720 --> 00:02:12,960 Speaker 1: also some upsides. In the past, I was often trying 36 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:16,120 Speaker 1: to convince myself that, yes, you have time to connect, 37 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:19,880 Speaker 1: you don't have to race off. Now that there is 38 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:24,400 Speaker 1: nowhere to go, this is even more apparent. Of course, 39 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:28,440 Speaker 1: eventually life will get back to something approaching normal. If 40 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:31,160 Speaker 1: there is any good coming out of all this social isolation, 41 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,880 Speaker 1: I hope it is a recognition that our connections to 42 00:02:33,919 --> 00:02:38,440 Speaker 1: others are incredibly precious. I hope this realization will challenge 43 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:41,359 Speaker 1: us to see that even in a busy schedule, it's 44 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:46,040 Speaker 1: worth looking for times to connect. It's worth realizing when 45 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:49,520 Speaker 1: these times are happening, that you don't actually have to 46 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:52,760 Speaker 1: rush off to the next thing. This is true for 47 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:57,640 Speaker 1: family members, for friends, for colleagues, and even for people 48 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:00,800 Speaker 1: you don't necessarily consider yourself to be all that close to. 49 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:05,920 Speaker 1: Someday people will be walking back into their offices, and 50 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,840 Speaker 1: when you do walk into that office, you can recognize 51 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:11,400 Speaker 1: that you have time to say hello to the security guard. 52 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,359 Speaker 1: You have time to ask your colleague about the baseball 53 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:16,839 Speaker 1: game he was so excited about, and you have time 54 00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:19,720 Speaker 1: to listen to his answer. You have time to look 55 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:22,360 Speaker 1: the person behind the lunch counter in the eye and 56 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:25,320 Speaker 1: ask her how she's doing, and to thank her for 57 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:29,440 Speaker 1: handing you your sandwich. We may appreciate this on some level. 58 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:33,480 Speaker 1: You know full well that you aren't being efficient by 59 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:36,360 Speaker 1: deleting email newsletters on your phone while you're in the 60 00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:39,760 Speaker 1: lunch line. When life gets back to normal, will be 61 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:43,960 Speaker 1: thrilled with humanity for a while, and then we will 62 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:48,800 Speaker 1: revert to the same bad habits. That's why it helps 63 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:53,080 Speaker 1: to keep repeating this phrase. People are a good use 64 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,960 Speaker 1: of time. Indeed, connections can make us feel like we 65 00:03:57,040 --> 00:04:00,200 Speaker 1: have more time. For my book Off the Clock, I 66 00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:03,160 Speaker 1: had nine hundred busy people track their time for a day. 67 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:06,040 Speaker 1: I found that the people who spent the most time 68 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:10,600 Speaker 1: engaged with family and friends had the most abundant perspective 69 00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:14,480 Speaker 1: on time. They felt like they had more time than 70 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:17,679 Speaker 1: people who spent an equivalent quantity of time on TV 71 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:22,080 Speaker 1: or social media. When you keep repeating the phrase that 72 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:24,960 Speaker 1: people are a good use of time, it helps direct 73 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 1: you and that split second at the photocopier when you 74 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:30,800 Speaker 1: decide whether or not to engage with the colleague who 75 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:34,279 Speaker 1: wants to tell you about her engagement, or when you 76 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:36,839 Speaker 1: decide to pick up the call from that elderly relative 77 00:04:36,839 --> 00:04:39,360 Speaker 1: that would be so easy to dismiss because you're trying 78 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:42,040 Speaker 1: to wrap up at work, or when you run into 79 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:43,960 Speaker 1: a neighbor getting off the subway that you're about to 80 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:47,440 Speaker 1: get on. You can see that there's another train arriving 81 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:51,279 Speaker 1: in three minutes, so you can talk about the building's 82 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:55,559 Speaker 1: seasonal decorations and be fully present, knowing that you weren't 83 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:59,239 Speaker 1: going to do anything more important in those three minutes. Truly, 84 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:04,040 Speaker 1: you do have time to connect. You'll still get where 85 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:06,760 Speaker 1: you need to go, but the journey will be richer 86 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:11,520 Speaker 1: and more meaningful along the way. How do you make 87 00:05:11,520 --> 00:05:14,719 Speaker 1: time for connection? I hope you'll let me know. You 88 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:18,359 Speaker 1: can reach me at Before Breakfast podcast at ihart media 89 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:23,359 Speaker 1: dot com. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening, 90 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:32,880 Speaker 1: and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody, 91 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:35,240 Speaker 1: I'd love to hear from you. You can send me 92 00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:38,919 Speaker 1: your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with 93 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:43,320 Speaker 1: me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast pod. 94 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:48,360 Speaker 1: That's b E the number four, then Breakfast p o D. 95 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:52,080 Speaker 1: You can also shoot me an email at Before Breakfast 96 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:55,520 Speaker 1: podcast at i heeart media dot com. That Before Breakfast 97 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:58,200 Speaker 1: is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much, 98 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:06,560 Speaker 1: I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is 99 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:09,760 Speaker 1: a production of I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from 100 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:13,800 Speaker 1: I Heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, 101 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:15,920 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.