WEBVTT - Sucky Daters Hotline with Kirpa Sudick 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.280 Hell I Suck At Dating with the Ungler and dared 0:00:04.360 --> 0:00:13.240 Haven Radio podcast What's going On? Everyone? Welcome to Thursday 0:00:13.360 --> 0:00:17.480 special color edition of Help I Suck At Dating. We're 0:00:17.480 --> 0:00:19.479 just gonna dive right into it. We've got Brett in 0:00:19.480 --> 0:00:20.840 the waiting room, so let's see if we can bring 0:00:20.920 --> 0:00:27.000 him in. Hello, Hey Brett, how's going Hi guys, thanks 0:00:27.040 --> 0:00:31.760 for joining us. What's going on in your world today? Well, um, 0:00:31.800 --> 0:00:34.599 I think the girl that my friend is into is 0:00:34.760 --> 0:00:41.720 actually into me Jackpot. Yeah, well not really. I mean 0:00:41.720 --> 0:00:44.040 I don't know what to do because I actually also 0:00:44.159 --> 0:00:49.479 like her. Like every time we're interacting, she's super flirty 0:00:49.560 --> 0:00:51.920 with me, and then I'm like, okay, so what do 0:00:51.960 --> 0:00:54.760 I do here? And I mean like she'll do it 0:00:54.800 --> 0:01:01.160 in front of him. Yeah, that's all. Um. I think 0:01:01.400 --> 0:01:04.479 he's a little like, you know, rose colored glasses about 0:01:04.520 --> 0:01:07.880 it and not really taking I don't know, I don't. 0:01:07.920 --> 0:01:10.280 It's just like I think she's cute, and if it 0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:12.679 weren't for the fact that, like my friend was into her, 0:01:13.400 --> 0:01:15.400 i'd probably flirt back. But it's kind of like bro 0:01:15.480 --> 0:01:20.320 code comes first. Yeah, so I haven't I haven't shot 0:01:20.360 --> 0:01:22.839 my shot, and I'm just kind of like cool. What 0:01:22.840 --> 0:01:25.479 what what do I do? I mean, like she's really 0:01:25.520 --> 0:01:28.920 into me, like every time. It's it's not like I'm 0:01:28.959 --> 0:01:32.040 you know, full of myself, Like it's really obvious. Yeah, 0:01:32.200 --> 0:01:34.880 I think, well, I'll you guys give some advice first. 0:01:34.880 --> 0:01:36.760 But I know what I'm gonna say. I mean, do 0:01:36.800 --> 0:01:40.920 you value this friendship? I do? But it's also not 0:01:41.040 --> 0:01:43.640 every day that someone as hot and awesome as she 0:01:43.880 --> 0:01:46.400 is is kind of like coming for me. So I'm like, 0:01:46.560 --> 0:01:49.520 what am I doing with my life? That reminded me 0:01:49.560 --> 0:01:52.280 of one of Dean's best lines of Bachelor Paradise where 0:01:52.320 --> 0:01:54.680 he was talking about Christina and he was like, Christina 0:01:54.680 --> 0:01:56.480 and I get along so well, and we have such 0:01:56.520 --> 0:01:59.360 a good time, so you know, we have so much fun. 0:01:59.440 --> 0:02:03.640 And then he's like, Daniel is so hot that. No, 0:02:04.000 --> 0:02:08.240 I didn't say that. They edited that make me sound 0:02:08.280 --> 0:02:13.600 like it was the greatest moment? Was it wrong? That's 0:02:13.600 --> 0:02:15.760 why it was just it was so odd. I didn't 0:02:15.760 --> 0:02:18.560 say I was careful about my words and they just 0:02:18.680 --> 0:02:23.440 edited one together. Anyways, back to Brett, jaredy piece of crap. 0:02:25.560 --> 0:02:28.400 I mean, Brett, if I were in your shoes, I 0:02:28.440 --> 0:02:31.959 think I would be respectful of my friend and let 0:02:32.240 --> 0:02:35.120 this like, let that play out. If she's really not 0:02:35.240 --> 0:02:39.280 interested in him, it'll fizzle out. And I think then 0:02:39.680 --> 0:02:42.840 you shoot your shot after that whole thing after they 0:02:42.880 --> 0:02:46.400 stopped dating, because you don't want to lose your friend, right, 0:02:46.480 --> 0:02:48.239 But I also want to beat that guy in the 0:02:48.440 --> 0:02:51.080 really stupid rom com movie who's like at their wedding 0:02:51.280 --> 0:02:55.960 and then she's like, I never knew. Yeah, that's fair point, 0:02:56.160 --> 0:02:59.240 I would say, So does she know that your friend 0:02:59.280 --> 0:03:03.280 is into her? Yes? All right, Well that makes things awkward. 0:03:03.480 --> 0:03:08.040 Um yeah, I think I'm assuming that the friend doesn't 0:03:08.120 --> 0:03:09.800 have much of a history with this girl, which is 0:03:09.800 --> 0:03:12.360 why he's just into her and not like dating her. 0:03:12.960 --> 0:03:18.560 Um so I would, um, what would you do? What 0:03:18.600 --> 0:03:22.440 would you do? Jared, let's hear it. I would This 0:03:22.480 --> 0:03:27.640 is what I would do. I would I would talk 0:03:27.680 --> 0:03:29.919 to the girl because obviously the girls talking to you, 0:03:30.160 --> 0:03:34.160 Brett and flirting with you a lot, and you're gonna say, hey, listen, 0:03:35.200 --> 0:03:37.880 my friends really into I don't want to step on 0:03:37.920 --> 0:03:39.960 his toes, Like you got to talk to him first 0:03:40.760 --> 0:03:44.880 and see if you know, like, you have to let 0:03:45.000 --> 0:03:47.760 him know that you're not into him. If if you're not, 0:03:48.280 --> 0:03:50.240 you know, because I can't be the one to decide that. 0:03:50.280 --> 0:03:52.520 You got to figure that out. And then once if 0:03:52.560 --> 0:03:55.320 that moves on and that's over, then talk to your 0:03:55.360 --> 0:03:57.120 buddy and say, hey, listen, she told me that she 0:03:57.200 --> 0:04:00.080 likes me. I do like her too. I'd like to 0:04:00.080 --> 0:04:02.000 hang out with her, but I want to make sure 0:04:02.000 --> 0:04:04.080 that you're okay with it because I value our friendship. 0:04:04.360 --> 0:04:05.960 So that's what I would do. I would make sure 0:04:06.160 --> 0:04:09.400 like that she handles her situation with him first, see 0:04:09.400 --> 0:04:11.720 where that goes. And if that ends and it's over, 0:04:12.320 --> 0:04:14.720 then of course, like if there's still a little flirtation 0:04:14.720 --> 0:04:17.120 between you two, talk to your buddy, see what he says. 0:04:17.160 --> 0:04:19.240 And then if he's like, no, you, bro, then I 0:04:19.279 --> 0:04:21.240 don't know that. I don't know how good of a 0:04:21.240 --> 0:04:23.120 friend that is, especially if it's not someone he dated, 0:04:23.160 --> 0:04:26.880 he's just someone into Like come on, I would say, 0:04:26.960 --> 0:04:29.120 here's my advice. I kind of I'm on the opposite 0:04:29.120 --> 0:04:31.359 side of the spectrum. Then you, guys, I think that 0:04:31.400 --> 0:04:36.480 you should completely disregard the girl altogether, because it's never 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:39.760 worth losing a friendship over someone that you kind of 0:04:39.800 --> 0:04:42.120 have a small crush shot and it sounds like you 0:04:42.240 --> 0:04:43.960 don't really have a crush on her. It sounds like 0:04:44.120 --> 0:04:47.120 you're just kind of into the fact that she's kind 0:04:47.120 --> 0:04:49.640 of into you, which makes it even less of a 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:54.239 good idea to lose their friendship over or something like that. Yeah, 0:04:54.320 --> 0:04:56.320 and look, don't get me wrong, I see where you're 0:04:56.320 --> 0:04:58.400 coming from. Everyone wants to be wanted. I feel I 0:04:58.440 --> 0:05:01.000 totally get that, and like you said, she's hot, so 0:05:01.080 --> 0:05:05.599 even all the better. Um I I jack pot. I 0:05:05.720 --> 0:05:09.400 personally think uh, and I have gone against this in 0:05:09.440 --> 0:05:10.960 the past and it's bit me in the butt. I 0:05:11.000 --> 0:05:15.400 personally think it's never worth risking a friendship over any 0:05:15.440 --> 0:05:17.960 type of flame because best case scenario, you get a 0:05:17.960 --> 0:05:20.840 girlfriend and you lose a good friend. Worst case scenario, 0:05:21.160 --> 0:05:22.880 you lose a girl that you kind of liked and 0:05:22.920 --> 0:05:24.760 you lose your best friend and then you've got no one. 0:05:24.800 --> 0:05:28.040 So I always say, uh, stick with your friend, because 0:05:28.240 --> 0:05:30.359 you'll find another girl down the line at some point, 0:05:30.720 --> 0:05:34.760 and it's not worth the tension or the whatever for 0:05:34.800 --> 0:05:36.279 you and your friends to go through. That's what I 0:05:36.279 --> 0:05:40.279 think at least. Alright, alright, cool, So hopefully that helps 0:05:40.440 --> 0:05:43.719 Jared Kirk. But do you guys agree? Do you disagree? 0:05:44.200 --> 0:05:47.000 I like that advice. Yeah, thanks, thanks. I felt like 0:05:47.200 --> 0:05:48.680 I felt like some for good advice. I just care 0:05:48.760 --> 0:05:52.320 that it sound advice. All right, bro, Well, thank you 0:05:52.320 --> 0:05:55.159 so much, appreciate you joining us. Best of luck with everything. 0:05:55.640 --> 0:06:09.960 Thank you great talking, great talking. M h. Hey, Jays, 0:06:10.000 --> 0:06:12.760 how's it going good? How are you guys doing? Thanks 0:06:12.720 --> 0:06:20.560 for doing absolutely so what's going on? Well? Uh? I 0:06:20.640 --> 0:06:26.080 am I need some advice. I've been seeing any girl 0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:29.800 for about a month now mhm, and uh, and everything 0:06:29.839 --> 0:06:32.600 has been great, but it's like there's constantly I just 0:06:32.680 --> 0:06:36.919 keep noticing, especially when we're intimate, there's this like musk, 0:06:37.040 --> 0:06:43.760 a body odor by her armpits, you know, and it's like, uh, 0:06:44.000 --> 0:06:45.240 I don't know how to bring it up to her 0:06:45.240 --> 0:06:47.320 because I know she you know, she showers, she has 0:06:47.360 --> 0:06:51.440 good hygiene, but it's like this musk and and you know, 0:06:51.480 --> 0:06:55.320 it's it's all the time, watching a movie together, you know, 0:06:55.400 --> 0:06:58.240 going places, restaurant even, and I'm like, I'm like, how 0:06:58.279 --> 0:07:01.680 do I you know, how do I tell that to her? 0:07:01.680 --> 0:07:03.680 And I haven't even you know, I haven't had sex 0:07:03.720 --> 0:07:06.800 with her yet either, so um, I'm not sure if 0:07:06.800 --> 0:07:09.880 that's going to parlay into some other situation, you know 0:07:09.920 --> 0:07:12.640 what I mean? M hm. So so I'm kind of 0:07:12.680 --> 0:07:14.280 wondering how do I approach that? How how what I 0:07:14.320 --> 0:07:16.120 talk to her? How do I bring it up? How 0:07:16.160 --> 0:07:18.680 do you bring up a stinky armpit? All right, this 0:07:18.720 --> 0:07:22.560 is what you do. So you compliment her arms a lot, 0:07:22.760 --> 0:07:25.440 and you say, you know, babe, I love your arms. 0:07:25.440 --> 0:07:27.120 You should show if your arms you have great arms. 0:07:27.200 --> 0:07:31.160 So she starts wearing sleeveless shirts. And then you start 0:07:31.240 --> 0:07:32.720 cuddling with her on the bed and you kind of 0:07:32.760 --> 0:07:34.560 smell what's coming on, and then you just have like 0:07:34.680 --> 0:07:39.240 a deodorant in your pocket ready to go. And then 0:07:39.280 --> 0:07:41.400 make sure like her arms over you so you have 0:07:41.480 --> 0:07:45.400 access to the armpit, and then you say hey, like 0:07:45.480 --> 0:07:47.280 so if you're on her left side, her left arm 0:07:47.320 --> 0:07:49.600 is over you. And then you say, hey, what's that 0:07:49.680 --> 0:07:51.679 over there? And when she turns right, just a little 0:07:51.680 --> 0:07:55.840 squeaky squeaky in the armpit, And then on that side 0:07:55.880 --> 0:07:59.000 you're good. And then if you just like, get up, 0:07:59.080 --> 0:08:01.480 go get a soda whatever, come back, go on her 0:08:01.520 --> 0:08:04.400 other side, cuddle, wait till you start smelling it, and 0:08:04.400 --> 0:08:06.400 then you say, hey, babe, what's over there? When she 0:08:06.440 --> 0:08:09.880 turns squeaky squeaky right on the armpit? Good to go, 0:08:10.160 --> 0:08:12.280 and you do that for the next sixties seventy years 0:08:12.280 --> 0:08:14.480 because you're probably fall in love and marrier and you're 0:08:14.480 --> 0:08:22.560 good to go. Sounds like a great plan, is it? 0:08:22.600 --> 0:08:24.880 Does it sound like a good plan? Are we talking? 0:08:24.880 --> 0:08:27.080 Are we talking spray or stick? Jared? Because I think 0:08:27.120 --> 0:08:29.920 spray might be a little too wrong in my I 0:08:29.960 --> 0:08:33.640 was thinking stick in my head because the spray, yeah, 0:08:33.679 --> 0:08:37.080 it's like it's gonna make too much noise. So because honestly, 0:08:37.080 --> 0:08:39.040 the stick could be just like a passing wind, you know. 0:08:39.160 --> 0:08:43.880 She's like, oh, I got a little childern right that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, interesting, 0:08:44.160 --> 0:08:47.280 I would say. I actually, before we get to my 0:08:47.280 --> 0:08:49.080 bad advice, I want to hear Kurper is good advice? 0:08:49.280 --> 0:08:51.520 I guess, Oh, I don't know if it's gonna be good. Okay, wait, 0:08:51.559 --> 0:08:54.320 so you've been dating a month, you haven't had sex, 0:08:55.120 --> 0:09:00.160 you really like her and see it going somewhere. Yeah, 0:09:00.200 --> 0:09:02.960 you know everything. It's it's like, you know, I don't 0:09:03.000 --> 0:09:05.120 want to be that guy that's like, oh, you know, 0:09:05.240 --> 0:09:08.600 something's wrong with the toes and therefore I can't date her. 0:09:09.720 --> 0:09:14.200 I mean, in any relationship, you want to have good communication, 0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:17.679 and I think there is there's got to be a 0:09:17.720 --> 0:09:21.079 good way to bring it up. You've got to really 0:09:21.160 --> 0:09:24.880 pat it before I think and just be like hey, 0:09:24.920 --> 0:09:27.240 I mean I don't even know what you would say. 0:09:28.280 --> 0:09:33.560 This is so hard because you offend her. Would you 0:09:33.600 --> 0:09:35.440 be offended if a guy that you were dating for 0:09:35.480 --> 0:09:39.040 a month said something about your smell? I think it 0:09:39.080 --> 0:09:41.520 would be the way he approached it, if he straight 0:09:41.600 --> 0:09:44.760 up was like, hey, you smell like or like something 0:09:44.880 --> 0:09:47.560 like there's some smell coming from your armpits. Yeah, I 0:09:47.600 --> 0:09:51.160 think it's the way you approach it. Yeah, So what's 0:09:51.280 --> 0:09:53.200 what's a good way to approach it? Then? Well, how 0:09:53.200 --> 0:09:54.920 would you want to be approached if you were smelling? 0:09:55.679 --> 0:09:59.400 If my armpits were smelling? I think I would want 0:09:59.760 --> 0:10:03.240 some want to be like, hey I see this going somewhere. Um, 0:10:03.280 --> 0:10:06.080 I really like you. I care about you. Um, I've 0:10:06.120 --> 0:10:10.360 just noticed like maybe say, does she work out or 0:10:10.360 --> 0:10:12.320 do you guys work out together? Maybe like oh after 0:10:12.360 --> 0:10:17.440 workouts or something like maybe I don't know, I don't know. Well, 0:10:17.520 --> 0:10:19.120 I don't know a good way. What do you guys think? 0:10:19.320 --> 0:10:21.720 It's it's impossible. And obviously I hope we all know 0:10:21.800 --> 0:10:24.120 that my advice earlier was a complete joke. Could Jason 0:10:24.160 --> 0:10:27.959 do not do that? But it sounds so serious obviously, 0:10:28.920 --> 0:10:32.880 what about what if? Because I would feel very insecure 0:10:33.120 --> 0:10:36.120 if my partner told me that I smell, but or 0:10:36.160 --> 0:10:38.480 not that I smell, but that like my armpits smell. 0:10:39.040 --> 0:10:42.160 But what if if, like if Dean came out to 0:10:42.160 --> 0:10:45.400 me it was like, bro, your armpits stink, then I'd like, oh, 0:10:45.760 --> 0:10:47.520 has anybody else been smelling this? Like I would have 0:10:47.520 --> 0:10:49.720 a different reaction, and then I'd be more focused on 0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:51.760 making sure that I put the order and on, because 0:10:51.800 --> 0:10:54.600 sometimes my armpits do stink like I, you know, sweat. 0:10:55.080 --> 0:10:58.920 So I'm curious, maybe, Jason, if you're I don't know 0:10:58.960 --> 0:11:00.600 if this is a good idea, and but we're just 0:11:00.600 --> 0:11:05.640 spitballing here. Should you tell a friend her friend and say, hey, listen, 0:11:06.320 --> 0:11:07.960 I don't want to say it, but you know, I 0:11:08.000 --> 0:11:09.840 really like her and I don't feel like I can't 0:11:09.880 --> 0:11:13.440 tell her this, but have you noticed that maybe sometimes 0:11:15.000 --> 0:11:18.200 I don't know a bad idea for her friend though 0:11:18.400 --> 0:11:20.320 she's gonna straight up go to her friend and be 0:11:20.400 --> 0:11:22.680 like this guy thinks you smell and he came to me, 0:11:23.040 --> 0:11:24.800 or but what if he's like, listen, I really like, 0:11:24.840 --> 0:11:26.840 what if Jayce went to her friend and was like, 0:11:26.840 --> 0:11:29.079 I really like her. I wanted to continue, but this 0:11:29.200 --> 0:11:31.160 might be an issue in the future and I can't 0:11:31.200 --> 0:11:33.160 tell her that her arm pits stink. Would you be 0:11:33.240 --> 0:11:35.680 able to like as a friend, Like if you guys 0:11:35.720 --> 0:11:38.560 be like, oh, I don't know anything to help out, 0:11:38.679 --> 0:11:40.160 because then I don't know. If I was a friend, 0:11:40.200 --> 0:11:41.679 I'd be like, well, he's really into her, and I 0:11:41.720 --> 0:11:44.760 can get why, Like i'd have hard time saying it too. 0:11:46.800 --> 0:11:49.600 I don't know I would Maybe maybe you could just 0:11:49.640 --> 0:11:53.720 start getting really smelled too, and then she says something 0:11:53.760 --> 0:11:56.600 to you, and then you say, well, that's funny because 0:11:56.600 --> 0:11:58.960 while we're on the subject, there's something I need to 0:11:58.960 --> 0:12:01.640 tell you as well. That's kind of honestly, I think 0:12:01.679 --> 0:12:04.520 that's probably what I would do. But I'm already I'm 0:12:04.559 --> 0:12:07.360 already I'm the girl in the situation where I'm already 0:12:07.360 --> 0:12:10.760 the stinky one. Um, which is it's the best place 0:12:10.800 --> 0:12:14.199 to be because you don't have to have an uncomfortable 0:12:14.240 --> 0:12:16.640 conversation as long as you're okay with being stinky a 0:12:16.679 --> 0:12:20.120 little bit and comfortable with it for people to think 0:12:20.120 --> 0:12:23.600 that I'm stinky, you know, it's not ideal, but it 0:12:23.600 --> 0:12:25.840 doesn't like it doesn't bother me. And so if someone 0:12:25.880 --> 0:12:28.079 were to come to me and be like, hey, you stink, 0:12:28.160 --> 0:12:30.439 I would be like, wow, thank you so much. And 0:12:30.800 --> 0:12:34.920 if someone wanted me to fix that, like Calin for instance, uh, 0:12:35.040 --> 0:12:39.240 she doesn't necessarily always ask me, ah, you know, like 0:12:40.200 --> 0:12:42.120 I personally don't think I stink very bad. I don't. 0:12:42.160 --> 0:12:44.880 I think I've got a great natural aroma to me. 0:12:45.320 --> 0:12:47.200 There are times where it gets a little out of hand, 0:12:47.360 --> 0:12:51.240 and when Calin comes to me and tells me these things, 0:12:51.960 --> 0:12:54.920 I am like, Okay, I'll shower in a couple of days. 0:12:55.040 --> 0:12:58.240 Is that what you want me to do? And obviously 0:12:58.280 --> 0:12:59.880 I take care of it much to than that, but 0:13:00.120 --> 0:13:01.839 she does it in such a loving way where I 0:13:01.880 --> 0:13:04.120 don't get offended by it. And and Jase, I think 0:13:04.160 --> 0:13:06.839 for you in this case, you could approach it. It's 0:13:06.880 --> 0:13:08.839 it's hard because you're so new in the relationship, but 0:13:08.960 --> 0:13:12.240 you could legitimately be like, um, I just want to 0:13:12.320 --> 0:13:16.440 let you know I really like you, uh sing even 0:13:16.440 --> 0:13:17.959 saying this to you, it's kind of hard. So I 0:13:17.960 --> 0:13:20.240 can see why you're a little bit Would you like 0:13:20.400 --> 0:13:23.240 gift her some perfume? I think that's what it is. 0:13:23.400 --> 0:13:25.120 I think that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do 0:13:25.120 --> 0:13:27.560 a care package that just masks the smell. We need 0:13:27.640 --> 0:13:29.600 to take care of it at the source. Could you 0:13:29.800 --> 0:13:33.720 throw in a deodorant stick with the perfume maybe, hint. 0:13:34.520 --> 0:13:36.160 I think that's it. I think that's what I'm gonna do. 0:13:36.320 --> 0:13:41.600 Gift package, a little goodie bag for her gift basket. 0:13:41.800 --> 0:13:44.280 I mean she'll know. She'll know because the gift basket's 0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:48.079 gonna be full of perfume. And you're like, oh, I 0:13:49.440 --> 0:13:51.240 don't like it. Let the girl stink, you know, just 0:13:51.360 --> 0:13:55.400 let hers letters letters. Maybe maybe she likes her smelly body. 0:13:55.600 --> 0:13:58.920 I like mine. Um, I don't know, James. We wish 0:13:58.920 --> 0:14:00.680 you the best, man. I hope if you get it 0:14:00.679 --> 0:14:02.720 figured out. We hope you got it figured out best. 0:14:03.000 --> 0:14:04.760 I'll do the gift basket. I thank you guys so much. 0:14:05.520 --> 0:14:08.000 Thanks to Luck, thank you so much, thanks for calling. 0:14:20.320 --> 0:14:23.640 All right, We've got Karen next. Uh Man, I gotta 0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:26.040 go shower after this. I think, poor guy, I feel 0:14:26.080 --> 0:14:30.640 like we gave no good advice. Like that's a tough one. 0:14:30.760 --> 0:14:37.200 Best of Luck. I mean, I like being I don't 0:14:37.200 --> 0:14:39.600 think I stink. But I do like the idea of 0:14:39.680 --> 0:14:42.040 not wearing the odor in every day because it's not 0:14:42.080 --> 0:14:43.440 the healthiest thing in the world for you to wear 0:14:43.440 --> 0:14:45.240 the other all the time. I'm not gonna lie because 0:14:45.280 --> 0:14:46.560 I haven't seen you in a while. But when I 0:14:46.600 --> 0:14:51.640 saw you have Ben's bachelor party, you stop. Oh my god, 0:14:51.680 --> 0:14:54.480 that was like two years ago. You're still thinking about 0:14:54.480 --> 0:14:57.280 my stick. You gave me a hug and I was like, 0:14:57.880 --> 0:15:01.240 who Yeah, it's because we just got done playing golf 0:15:01.280 --> 0:15:06.160 and it was hot there, Cara, are you there? H yes, 0:15:06.280 --> 0:15:08.560 I'm here. Sorry, we're talking about b oh. We had 0:15:08.560 --> 0:15:13.320 a previous calor? Is it? Is it? Carr? Car It's well, hello, Carol, 0:15:13.360 --> 0:15:14.960 welcome to help I suck at dating. Thank you so 0:15:15.040 --> 0:15:18.960 much for calling in. Yeah, I mean I wish I 0:15:19.000 --> 0:15:26.360 was calling with, not because I stuck at dating. But okay. 0:15:26.680 --> 0:15:30.240 I met this guy at the bar while I was 0:15:30.320 --> 0:15:32.920 working where I work and a few weeks ago, and 0:15:33.320 --> 0:15:35.640 I liked him. Right as he walked in. I thought 0:15:35.640 --> 0:15:38.760 I probably wouldn't see him again, so I told him 0:15:38.760 --> 0:15:42.440 I found him really handsome. It's a pretty forward um. 0:15:42.480 --> 0:15:46.000 He thanked me, but like nothing else. A week later, 0:15:46.120 --> 0:15:48.360 I ran into him again and we talked for a bit, 0:15:48.440 --> 0:15:51.880 but like I couldn't tell if he wasn't interested or 0:15:52.000 --> 0:15:56.080 like just shy. So after a while I tried to 0:15:56.120 --> 0:16:00.560 approach him again, who was super drunk at that point, 0:16:00.600 --> 0:16:02.520 and he told me that he was sorry, but he 0:16:02.640 --> 0:16:06.640 just wasn't interested. So I appreciated, you know that, him 0:16:06.680 --> 0:16:09.280 being honest, and I didn't even I didn't give it 0:16:09.360 --> 0:16:14.080 much importance. But then the next week I ran into 0:16:14.200 --> 0:16:18.880 him again at another party. He was very happy to 0:16:18.920 --> 0:16:21.440 see me, so honestly, I was not expecting that, but 0:16:21.520 --> 0:16:24.680 I wasn't thinking, you know, of having anything with him 0:16:24.680 --> 0:16:28.000 because of what happened the week before. So we talked 0:16:28.040 --> 0:16:30.160 and we danced, and he he told me that he 0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:34.360 liked me a lot. Um. Yeah, so I told him 0:16:34.440 --> 0:16:36.760 I liked him, but that he had rejected me the 0:16:36.760 --> 0:16:40.160 week before. He said he was sorry, said he got 0:16:40.440 --> 0:16:44.040 super drunk. I forgot to ask for his number or 0:16:44.080 --> 0:16:47.440 like any contact information. I tried to get his number 0:16:47.520 --> 0:16:49.960 from like some of our mutual friends, but no luck. 0:16:50.760 --> 0:16:53.680 He was sweet and really handsome, but like all this 0:16:53.840 --> 0:16:57.160 keeps me thinking, like why do guys act like this? 0:16:57.320 --> 0:17:00.200 Like it's honestly so confusing. Why I reject me. Then 0:17:00.240 --> 0:17:02.800 the next day he really likes me, and like then 0:17:02.840 --> 0:17:05.280 you're too shy to kiss me? Like did he ever 0:17:05.480 --> 0:17:09.840 actually like me? Like I can't read this man, Jared, 0:17:09.880 --> 0:17:12.680 what do you think about this? You said you met 0:17:12.720 --> 0:17:14.639 him at the bar where you that you so you 0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:18.560 were bartending. Yeah, I'm a I'm a bartender and server. No, 0:17:18.680 --> 0:17:20.439 because I think this is a very real thing. I 0:17:20.480 --> 0:17:23.800 think guy's fall in love with the bartender. I I'm 0:17:23.800 --> 0:17:27.040 not joking, I'm not. I swear to god, this is 0:17:27.040 --> 0:17:34.280 a thing that if um, because I suffer from this 0:17:34.520 --> 0:17:37.200 there if I went my single day is obviously not anymore. 0:17:37.240 --> 0:17:40.919 But like if there's a female bartender, it's like, I 0:17:40.920 --> 0:17:43.720 don't know, there's something about getting bringing the bartender not home, 0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:45.879 but like getting the bartender's number. That's a better way 0:17:45.920 --> 0:17:49.320 of saying it. There's something to that. Um. So I 0:17:49.359 --> 0:17:54.000 think that this guy probably found you attractive, and then 0:17:54.560 --> 0:17:58.679 I think maybe didn't like you, or not that he 0:17:58.680 --> 0:18:01.679 didn't like you, but like, guys are stupid, you know, 0:18:01.800 --> 0:18:05.399 guys want to He probably wanted a data round. He 0:18:05.400 --> 0:18:07.760 probably doesn't want a relationship, and then he saw you 0:18:07.800 --> 0:18:11.560 at the party after you know, he quote rejected you, 0:18:11.640 --> 0:18:14.480 and you probably looked good and he was, you know, 0:18:14.560 --> 0:18:17.679 feeling himself and you guys were dancing, and then you 0:18:17.760 --> 0:18:20.640 know he's I hate to say this, but he would 0:18:20.680 --> 0:18:23.040 probably do that with someone else too. And know this guy, 0:18:23.119 --> 0:18:25.119 I don't know this guy. I got a bad vibes 0:18:25.119 --> 0:18:32.320 about this guy. That's all, yeah, yeah, yeah, what do 0:18:32.320 --> 0:18:36.080 you think? No, I agree, bad vibes about this guy. 0:18:36.280 --> 0:18:41.119 You don't need any part of him. Um. But the 0:18:41.160 --> 0:18:45.960 bartender thing, guys, And is that a thing that I 0:18:46.000 --> 0:18:49.000 think it is? I think it because if you go 0:18:49.119 --> 0:18:52.680 to the bar, there's something about getting the bartender's number 0:18:52.760 --> 0:18:56.840 that I think for guys, it's like almost competitive to 0:18:56.880 --> 0:19:01.120 a certain extent. And then there's also like also, I'm 0:19:01.119 --> 0:19:04.240 sure care you know, when you're bartending, you look good 0:19:04.280 --> 0:19:06.199 and you're running around and you're in your element and 0:19:06.200 --> 0:19:08.679 you're working, you're making drinks, Like there's there's a bit 0:19:08.800 --> 0:19:12.040 sexy about that. And I think guys, I'm telling you, 0:19:12.119 --> 0:19:15.520 I think guys are there's like, you know, if you 0:19:15.560 --> 0:19:19.200 get the bartender's number, it's like, oh, like I must 0:19:19.200 --> 0:19:22.359 have been looking good. He didn't get my number, That's 0:19:22.400 --> 0:19:25.199 the thing. I know. But I'm I'm I'm I know 0:19:25.280 --> 0:19:26.920 he didn't get your number, which is so ridiculous, and 0:19:26.960 --> 0:19:29.119 then you saw him again. How do you keep running 0:19:29.119 --> 0:19:31.960 into this guy? By the way, I know, I don't know. 0:19:32.280 --> 0:19:35.359 It's so weird, right though it's super weird. If you 0:19:35.440 --> 0:19:39.200 actually think about it, you're probably gonna run to him again. Yeah, 0:19:39.480 --> 0:19:42.280 I'm sure that we will. We clearly live close enough 0:19:42.280 --> 0:19:46.000 to each other. I just don't I don't know, Like, 0:19:46.080 --> 0:19:48.640 I genuinely have no idea how we keep running into 0:19:48.680 --> 0:19:52.520 each other. We must have like we must live in 0:19:52.560 --> 0:19:54.879 the same area, or have a group of friends that 0:19:54.920 --> 0:19:58.080 are the same, but or a friend that's the same, 0:19:58.119 --> 0:20:00.840 because when I tried to get his number from the 0:20:00.880 --> 0:20:03.840 friends I thought were mutual, they didn't have it. So 0:20:04.040 --> 0:20:05.679 I don't know how we were at the same party. 0:20:07.200 --> 0:20:09.840 Maybe he lives near the bar or something. There might 0:20:09.880 --> 0:20:12.240 be some like you thing going on here where there's 0:20:12.320 --> 0:20:18.520 like something deeper that we're not quite picking up on. Yeah. 0:20:18.600 --> 0:20:20.760 I'm just just proceed with caution care, is all I 0:20:20.800 --> 0:20:25.639 gotta say. I agree with Jared's overarching idea that all 0:20:25.720 --> 0:20:30.359 men are stupid, and uh, they deserve no explanation for, 0:20:30.680 --> 0:20:34.919 no excuse for anything that they do. Um, that's true. 0:20:35.840 --> 0:20:40.080 It's just it's just tricky, uh to think why he 0:20:40.080 --> 0:20:42.600 would act like this. It's so hot and cold, right, 0:20:42.680 --> 0:20:46.480 It's just it's one of those things where I think 0:20:46.520 --> 0:20:48.960 any advice we're going to give you is bad advice 0:20:49.040 --> 0:20:51.600 because who knows. Who knows whether he's gonna be hot 0:20:51.640 --> 0:20:54.119 or cold the next day, you know. I think I 0:20:54.160 --> 0:20:57.680 think that. I think the biggest takeaway is maybe just uh, 0:20:57.920 --> 0:21:01.040 stop paying any peace of mind the guy and let 0:21:01.119 --> 0:21:03.720 it unfold naturally, kind of like like don't give him 0:21:03.760 --> 0:21:05.600 the power, but like put the ball in his court, 0:21:05.680 --> 0:21:09.800 but also at the same time, just put zero mental 0:21:09.840 --> 0:21:12.640 effort into caring about it and then see what happens. Right, 0:21:12.880 --> 0:21:15.680 I don't know, Yeah, I mean I can. I'm not 0:21:15.720 --> 0:21:17.680 going to think about him because I don't even have 0:21:17.760 --> 0:21:21.760 his number, yeah, for Instagram or like anything. And you 0:21:21.760 --> 0:21:23.600 don't even know if he's a good kisser yet. Yeah, 0:21:23.640 --> 0:21:25.840 And you don't want to die that's so hot and cold. 0:21:25.960 --> 0:21:28.240 Like you want someone that's very confident about wanting to 0:21:28.400 --> 0:21:32.000 mesdue you, right, That's that's that's what it is. That's 0:21:32.040 --> 0:21:34.680 exactly it. Yeah. And if he's not giving you that, 0:21:34.720 --> 0:21:37.800 he is not worth any of your time. Damn right, 0:21:38.280 --> 0:21:40.320 I needed I needed to like hear it, you know 0:21:40.320 --> 0:21:46.880 what I mean? Perfect, just set you free. That's awesome. Yeah, well, Karen, 0:21:46.920 --> 0:21:48.840 thanks for calling in. We appreciate it. We wish you 0:21:48.880 --> 0:21:51.560