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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio Podcast.

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Speaker 2: Okay, guys, hi coming into December. How fun is this

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Speaker 2: the big kickoff? The big kickoff to all the things?

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Speaker 2: It's funny because we want to do things together as

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Speaker 2: a group, and so I text them like, hey, guys,

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Speaker 2: what are you guys doing for New Year's Because it's

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Speaker 2: like I got to start planning. Yes, yep, I gotta

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Speaker 2: you know, and we gotta in like cheek Wood. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: who wants to come to cheek Wood? Because we love

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Speaker 2: There's certain things that I love to do with the kids,

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Speaker 2: like Gaylord Opryland and the nut recer Tee and yeah,

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Speaker 2: you know all the things. So it's just the.

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Speaker 3: The tradition list is a lot for us. Like I

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Speaker 3: actually have a note in my phone so that I

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Speaker 3: don't forget anything. But it's like the drive through lights

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Speaker 3: and then it's cheek Wood and feed the reindeer and

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Speaker 3: go see Santa and don't forget.

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Speaker 2: For the last couple of years.

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Speaker 3: Well, I haven't been there either, Okay, yes, I like

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Speaker 3: ever we go every year and they haven't been there.

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Speaker 2: Why have it's been like four years? They haven't been there?

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Speaker 1: Weird?

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Speaker 2: Where were they right in the very beginning?

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Speaker 1: Oh at aprey Land, Nope, Oh at cheek would Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: I've never done the cheek wood thing. Send me the

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Speaker 1: send me when you're going, though, I would like to

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Speaker 1: do that.

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Speaker 2: Oh great, I'm just like putting on there something if

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Speaker 2: people that's.

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Speaker 1: Perfect joined well, that was going to be my next thing.

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Speaker 1: This is what we have to learn. I've learned this

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Speaker 1: well kind of trying. When we want everyone to do something,

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Speaker 1: we just have to plan it and say this is

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Speaker 1: when I'm going, let me know if you want to go. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's too hard. Yeah, we can't plan, even though you

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Speaker 1: have to for certain things like New Years and stuff

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Speaker 1: like that. So I totally understand it.

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Speaker 2: But I know I've been feeling like I want to

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Speaker 2: do a holiday party, but I don't. It's so it's

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Speaker 2: so difficult because I'm even wanting to do. I know

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Speaker 2: you're about to say we have it planned.

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Speaker 1: Well, I wasn't say don't cancel.

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Speaker 2: Well it's Allan's birthday, and I just am like I

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Speaker 2: kind of want to separate it. Mm hm, fair you

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Speaker 2: know what I mean, because it's like the party. I

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Speaker 2: want it to be holiday to have.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's fair a.

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Speaker 2: Party, and like it'll just feel like I'm inviting all

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Speaker 2: of my closest friends, right and some close neighbors that

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Speaker 2: that felt it started to feel a little bit selfish.

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Speaker 2: I actually called KB this morning and was just kind

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Speaker 2: of running through I'm like this. He's like, well, what

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Speaker 2: would you think he'd want to do? And I'm like,

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Speaker 2: probably not be around him. He loves everybody and he

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Speaker 2: loves Nick and.

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Speaker 3: Course of course, yeah, yeah, that's not It's just I

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Speaker 3: love a separated I am such a close to Christmas

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Speaker 3: birthday that I and so is love. I'm so absolutely

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Speaker 3: intentional about the separation because holidays and our birthdays it

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Speaker 3: just feels so lumped together. But the problem is is

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Speaker 3: when we're going through it, I'm like, look, there's another

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Speaker 3: day compressed and do it.

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Speaker 2: There's like literally no time. So it's just.

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Speaker 3: And I do closer to Christmas like snugly, like a

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Speaker 3: little early said.

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Speaker 2: There is no possible way we don't have a day.

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Speaker 1: Well we don't.

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Speaker 3: We are just not done with all of our holiday

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Speaker 3: stuff until the twenty third.

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Speaker 1: I mean since Christmas Eve. We can't do Christmas Eve.

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Speaker 3: But we're in town, you know, so like he's not.

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Speaker 3: I mean you guys, when I tell you December, I

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Speaker 3: made the declaration on this podcast that I was going

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Speaker 3: to be joyful and I'm going to try to find

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Speaker 3: it and I'm not giving up on that. I'm not

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Speaker 3: giving but my goodness, it's full.

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Speaker 1: So I'm not fool. So I would like some plans. Well, no,

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Speaker 1: I even was.

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Speaker 2: I even said to Alan, and I said, this is

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Speaker 2: so not like me. So I was like, let me

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Speaker 2: just start with that, I said, but there was a

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Speaker 2: piece of me that even wanted to do open the

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Speaker 2: house up for the neighbors.

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Speaker 1: Oh what do you mean? Open the house up for

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Speaker 1: the neighbor So like an actual open house, like a

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Speaker 1: like a holiday.

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Speaker 2: We used to do this back in our neighborhood. So

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Speaker 2: it was one place would do appetizers, one place would

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Speaker 2: do dinner, and then one he used to do a dessert.

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Speaker 2: And it was something that we did in our neighborhood.

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Speaker 2: That was something that I loved as a kid.

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Speaker 1: That's adorable. Actually, yeah, I've heard people do that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and a lot of times it was for the adults.

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Speaker 2: But when as I got older, I just still remembering

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Speaker 2: it was cool when all the adults came to our

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Speaker 2: house and we would like spy on them and like,

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Speaker 2: you know, right, So I just thought that could be

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Speaker 2: like do something like that, and there's a piece of

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Speaker 2: me that's as excluded as I want to be. There

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Speaker 2: are some people that have moved in that I'm like,

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Speaker 2: this would be fun to have more of a community

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Speaker 2: hang with people kind of vibe.

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Speaker 1: Yes, But then also no, I know, but like take birthday.

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Speaker 1: Kat would like to separate that because I mean, as

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Speaker 1: long as I'm invited to that.

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Speaker 2: I think if he was to throw a soccer party

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Speaker 2: on my birthday, oh of.

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Speaker 1: Course, I mean I get it, trust me, I do

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Speaker 1: get it. I mean absolutely.

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Speaker 2: So that's where again I know that it's all of

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Speaker 2: our friends, and I do want to separate it because I.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but we have to find a day for Christmas.

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Speaker 2: We do, and that's dealing with her calendar.

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Speaker 3: No, I can come to anything, right, It's just yeah,

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Speaker 3: we were you know, couples of things.

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Speaker 2: But so anyway, that is just kind of like my vibe.

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Speaker 2: I've been thinking about it. I don't know if I

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Speaker 2: want to do it, because it sounds fun. Everything sounds

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Speaker 2: fun in the moment, right for.

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Speaker 1: The night of I'll be honest, that is one that

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Speaker 1: I would totally be sick that day. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: don't can you own house like exactly, it wouldn't. That's

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Speaker 1: why I could not plan something like that. I could come,

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Speaker 1: but I could not plan something like that. I'm just

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Speaker 1: being honest.

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Speaker 3: Especially appetizers are canceled, you guys can just double up

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Speaker 3: at the smith's house.

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Speaker 1: I could never commit to that on the front end

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Speaker 1: because I know in that day I will I would

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Speaker 1: want to cry. Yeah, I feel though, because you like

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Speaker 1: to have people in your home.

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Speaker 2: I do, but I'm not also the person that I am,

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Speaker 2: not the person like Pam or Kristen that brings over

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Speaker 2: the cutest picking chircoutery board. Like I'm not that human either.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, here's my paper plates, but welcome to my

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Speaker 2: home and let's have some fun. Right.

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Speaker 1: I think that's way more inviting. That's why we love it,

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Speaker 1: not saying we don't don't love it, but that's why

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Speaker 1: we like to do a dress code at certain places.

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Speaker 3: I don't do well with the d I don't do

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Speaker 3: dress code also do well saying bring this kind of

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Speaker 3: desserve with I was like, I have to pay someone

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Speaker 3: I'm out. You can't give me fifteen hurdles and seventeen

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Speaker 3: bullet points.

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Speaker 1: It's already a miracle. I went like thirty minutes out

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Speaker 1: of my way spend one hundred dollars to get said

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Speaker 1: thing to bring to the party because I couldn't do

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Speaker 1: it on my own. Now that's my personality. I'd rather

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Speaker 1: just do that. But I think it's just again, what

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Speaker 1: sounds great in the moment, would it be great in reality?

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Speaker 1: In that moment?

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Speaker 2: And That's what I'm really trying to understand, because there

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Speaker 2: are other things that I'm you know, I'm trying to plan,

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Speaker 2: you know, his birthday something, you know, and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: this sounds like a good idea, But am I do

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Speaker 2: I do we want to do that? It's like, in

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Speaker 2: this moment, this that sounds so great, and that sounds

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Speaker 2: so great to have some neighbors come over and you know,

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Speaker 2: get everyone to maybe chill and hang out. But then

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Speaker 2: it could be awful and then I won't want to

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Speaker 2: do it in the reality of that moment. And so

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Speaker 2: it's I'm kind of stuck in the what do I do?

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Speaker 1: It could go either way?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I well, I think we all know where.

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Speaker 1: I I don't know where you stand. I could see

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Speaker 1: you like this label party. What are you talking about?

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Speaker 1: Well I haven't committed. Yes, oh, Kristen, Well it's gonna happen.

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Speaker 1: It'll happen on the date that it's going to happen.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna need you to commit if you're actually hosting it.

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Speaker 1: She literally said, well, I'm hosting a Christmas party that day. Well,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to host it.

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Speaker 3: No, whether I host it at my house or I

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Speaker 3: host it at a location, I'm hosting it.

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Speaker 1: I see, because well that's what I'm saying you you

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Speaker 1: are a great host. Yes, that's why I do say.

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Speaker 1: I could see you loving this.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but no, you guys, I will just say this.

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Speaker 3: I just have got to guard the days close to Christmas,

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Speaker 3: is what I've learned. I think it's all fun and

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Speaker 3: it sounds amazing and do I want.

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Speaker 1: To do of course, then it's stressful. It's just the days.

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Speaker 3: Run out and then all of a sudden, it's like

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Speaker 3: something every day and in your sandwiching in between, like

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Speaker 3: love is in the Nutcracker this year, which is going

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Speaker 3: to be incredible. But that's a full day in December

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Speaker 3: and the day before is a full day of rehearsal

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Speaker 3: and we're having the grandparents come in, so then the

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Speaker 3: days before that are me hosting the grandparents so that

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Speaker 3: they can be here.

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Speaker 1: Because it's such a.

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Speaker 3: Big deal and I love all of that, but I'm

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Speaker 3: also like, where where do I exist in that?

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Speaker 1: Like I don't want to be the tired, frazzled mom.

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Speaker 3: That's just like give me a December twenty six because

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Speaker 3: we're missing the whole Prince of Peace issue.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, like where is like.

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Speaker 3: The calm and the holy night and the sweetness and

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Speaker 3: sometimes the piling knot of traditions just becomes a to

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Speaker 3: do list. And I'm like so and because it's my

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Speaker 3: own deal that I love traditions and I don't want

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Speaker 3: to miss a year, and every year we take our

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Speaker 3: picture by this tree, I'm this, you know, it's like

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Speaker 3: I've just started to go, Okay, well, maybe this year

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Speaker 3: we won't get to cheek Wood, and maybe this year

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Speaker 3: we haven't done opry Land because it got a little

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Speaker 3: too expensive for our family. To be honest, it just

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Speaker 3: was like a full day and then a sleepover and

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Speaker 3: then it was and it just I'm looking at Preston like,

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Speaker 3: if we're going to spend a thousand dollars, I'd rather

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Speaker 3: go somewhere, you know. And so we've kind of taken

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Speaker 3: that off the plate, and I just needed to like

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Speaker 3: have some breathing room, I think.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. See, my problem is kind of both, like we

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Speaker 1: do don't do all of that because my kids have

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Speaker 1: gotten older. So we do a few things, but then

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Speaker 1: I get to a point where I'm like, well, this

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Speaker 1: is kind of depressing because everyone's going here and going

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Speaker 1: there and doing this with their young kids. And you know, yeah,

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Speaker 1: my kids are busy and we're like keeping up with stuff,

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Speaker 1: but it's like, man, did we do a whole lot

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Speaker 1: of Christmas? Like? So that's where I struggle because it's

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Speaker 1: like I need that happy medium.

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Speaker 2: What is your favorite thing to do with the family

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Speaker 2: for Christmas time?

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Speaker 1: I mean we used to love apry Land. I mean

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Speaker 1: that's what we would do, But the kids are older

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Speaker 1: now and it's not fun for them.

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Speaker 2: So what would be fun for you guys? Now, that's

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Speaker 2: a good question, and then find that right now, and

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Speaker 2: I see it's hard and just find one thing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we you need to for sure. I mean, we

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Speaker 1: definitely still have our like family traditions where we go

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Speaker 1: to church, and then that's still probably our favorite, you know,

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Speaker 1: going to church on Christmas Eve, going over to my

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Speaker 1: in laws Christmas Eve, like we love that, you know,

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Speaker 1: and all of that. As they get older, the other

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Speaker 1: stuff like that isn't as fun anymore. I mean it's

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Speaker 1: not that it's not fun, but like they're just older,

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Speaker 1: and it's like the schedules is not how you do it.

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Speaker 1: With the schedules, it gets I mean, and they calmed down.

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Speaker 1: I mean, you know, they don't with school sports and stuff.

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Speaker 1: You're shut down now as.

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Speaker 2: We're going hard in the paint for a while, so

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Speaker 2: we can't really.

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Speaker 1: Do that in school. Like in like if if you're

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Speaker 1: out of there's some exceptions and stuff, but generally, if

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Speaker 1: you're out of school, like you're not doing sports. You know,

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Speaker 1: playoffs may go into a holiday, they may do whatever,

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Speaker 1: but generally, if you're at weekend, you're not really doing

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Speaker 1: a whole lot of We're kind of off. So I

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Speaker 1: don't know, what are you going to do?

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Speaker 2: Cat?

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Speaker 1: I know I'm going to look and see when Jana's

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Speaker 1: going to cheek Wood and I'm going to take y

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Speaker 1: I'm going to go join her.

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Speaker 2: Me.

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Speaker 1: First, Oh, night's Sammy's birthday, so maybe not fun birthday

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Speaker 1: moment though. I don't know that my thirteen fourteen year

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Speaker 1: old will want to go to cheek Wood for her birthday.

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Speaker 1: Well it's only an hour, you are true and for

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Speaker 1: an hour. Yeah, that's true and cool. We're gonna have

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Speaker 1: the party. We're gonna have her party the night before.

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Speaker 2: Speaking of birthdays, I got a forty two coming up

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Speaker 2: here tomorrow.

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Speaker 1: Do what are we doing? It's Jana Eve.

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Speaker 2: Can I just say one of my favorite memories is

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Speaker 2: still last year's birthday. You guys walking up that no idea,

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Speaker 2: you guys were coming, the zero idea.

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Speaker 1: That was the best.

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Speaker 3: What I don't like is team you up to think

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Speaker 3: we're not coming because all day I'm like, she doesn't

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Speaker 3: like God, she's sad.

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Speaker 1: We made her sad. She thinks I don't care.

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Speaker 3: That's hard on us, I know, because I'm like, how

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Speaker 3: much do you think she's like really.

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Speaker 1: Gonna need you? Because it's not that birthdays mean more

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Speaker 1: to you, but they do. They do. But I love

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Speaker 1: that about you. Like love that, so I.

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Speaker 2: Love to go to last last year it was Alan's like,

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Speaker 2: what do you want to do? For your birthday, and

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Speaker 2: I said, I just want to have dinner with the kids,

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Speaker 2: because I've started to not make it be such a

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Speaker 2: big deal really, like I have started to just make

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Speaker 2: it not a thing. I don't get upset anymore on

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Speaker 2: my birthday, like I don't because he usually all cry

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Speaker 2: and be like, oh, I'm not where I want to be,

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Speaker 2: you know. And now it's like I have beautiful kids

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Speaker 2: and husband and family and kids and friends, so it's

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Speaker 2: I don't get upset. I still. So that's why last

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Speaker 2: year I was totally fine. Even when you're like, wait,

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Speaker 2: you guys aren't granted dinner, I'm like, no, I'm genuinely

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Speaker 2: I asked for a just a nice dinner with the

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Speaker 2: family in the dining room. It's my favorite room. We

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Speaker 2: never eat in. I would love that. Yeah, And it

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Speaker 2: was great, and then you guys came over and it

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Speaker 2: was like such a cherry on top.

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Speaker 3: We actually, I like, have I don't know that I've

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Speaker 3: that sad, But I don't know if I've left that

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Speaker 3: hard in a year.

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Speaker 2: So so unexpected and so fun. Yeah, you can't plan

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Speaker 2: it's so great, you know.

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Speaker 1: So are we going to ruin your birthday? I was

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Speaker 1: going to say the thing that's so great about your

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Speaker 1: or I need your birthday to be on like the

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Speaker 1: perfect day every year. Is the problem because you like

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Speaker 1: to have your birthday stuff on your birth So.

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Speaker 2: That's the weird thing about me.

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Speaker 1: That's where you're difference.

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Speaker 2: This is where I'm so different. I have to have

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Speaker 2: it celebrated. So like, Okay, my fortieth birthday, I believe

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Speaker 2: it fell on a Friday, right, I did it did? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: And that's great because I couldn't have celebrated it if

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Speaker 2: it was If my birthday fell on a Tuesday and

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Speaker 2: it was my fortieth, I could not have done a

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Speaker 2: Saturday fortieth birthday party. Same human, Really January third or

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Speaker 2: forget it, and it's fine, Like if we missed it,

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Speaker 2: we're just moving on.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, I thought it was the only one.

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Speaker 1: Now it doesn't.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, I thought my birthday one, and I won't

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Speaker 3: blow out a candle the day before. I'm not making

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Speaker 3: any wishes and that's lovely, like it's good tea, yup.

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Speaker 2: But this is so wild to me because I genuinely thought,

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Speaker 2: like I would not speak this out into existence, because

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Speaker 2: I've felt crazy for thinking that because for example, one

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Speaker 2: of my really fun neighbors. She's like, oh, yeah, we're

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Speaker 2: gonna go celebrate my fortieth and I was like, oh,

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Speaker 2: your birthday. She's like, well, it was a couple months ago,

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Speaker 2: and I was like, then, it's not your fortieth birthday trip, Like, no,

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Speaker 2: it's not.

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Speaker 1: No, it's not. It's just it's not it's not on

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Speaker 1: the same day, and it throws me off. It's just

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Speaker 1: a trip. I also.

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Speaker 2: Love.

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Speaker 1: Is the fifth that's screwing you over? Totally? Yes? I

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Speaker 1: wait second this year, everybody, that's what I's fine. It's

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Speaker 1: not literally saying it's not fine. It is fine. We

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Speaker 1: don't have to celebrate my birthday. See, I don't like that.

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Speaker 1: But either you're birthday or we're not celebrating. I travel

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Speaker 1: on my birthday every year.

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Speaker 2: Well, And this is what's so funny is because if

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Speaker 2: we were talking about Alan's birthday too, and it's like,

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Speaker 2: I there's something that I want to do, and it's

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Speaker 2: like it's there's a bit of a scheduling thing and

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Speaker 2: I can't do it a couple days before because it's

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Speaker 2: not his birthday. Oh man, that's unfortunately, and putting that

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Speaker 2: on him and I don't even think he knows that

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Speaker 2: I'm still try to plan.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, well, and he's like, I don't care when

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Speaker 1: we celebrate my birthday. Let's celebrate.

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Speaker 3: Maybe not.

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Speaker 2: I've never but again, I think it's just me and

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Speaker 2: this is just wild. My mind is blown.

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Speaker 3: No, literally, like last year, we impromptu flew home on

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Speaker 3: my birthday because we were with the other half the duo.

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Speaker 3: Was fine, we were in Disney, but I'm like, this

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Speaker 3: is just doesn't feel like it's about me and I'm

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Speaker 3: not even that girl, but it's like I just am

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Speaker 3: like I don't want it to just I love birthdays

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Speaker 3: and I don't.

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Speaker 1: It's the one day you have.

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Speaker 3: I'm never upset, and this is hand on a bible.

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Speaker 3: I am never upset if someone forgets my birthday. I

364
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Speaker 3: promise It's not about how other people perceive my birthday.

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Speaker 3: It's just that I think it's the only day I

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Speaker 3: allow myself to do what I'd like to do. And

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Speaker 3: last year I could feel it starting to steer away

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Speaker 3: from that, and I was like, change of plans. We're

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Speaker 3: flying home, and we flew home on my birthday. I'll

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Speaker 3: never do that again. It was great to be home

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Speaker 3: on my birthday, but I felt like I wasted my

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Speaker 3: precious birthday hours. TSA didn't even read the early enough

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Speaker 3: to know that it was my birthday.

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Speaker 2: Give me the fly your.

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Speaker 1: Birthday what I was hoping for? You know, I am

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Speaker 1: the South.

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Speaker 3: You've got a birthday on board, like I didn't get any.

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Speaker 2: I'm just like, well, so you're telling me that in

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Speaker 2: February when it's your birthday. If we're like, we're going

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Speaker 2: to go to Cabo for a girl for your birthday

381
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Speaker 2: in March, you'll still consider that even if it's for

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Speaker 2: your birthday.

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Speaker 1: I'm going for your birthday trip every year on my

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Speaker 1: birthday for the lasting your birthday. I don't, or I do,

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Speaker 1: or we've done it a different day, and that's an

386
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Speaker 1: ime for you. You've done it for me, and let's

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Speaker 1: let it be this year. I was supposed to fight

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Speaker 1: last year, flew my birthday. This year, I was supposed

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Speaker 1: to fly my birthday to the day before that it

390
00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,800
Speaker 1: was your birthday. This is going to sound so bitchy

391
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Speaker 1: of me. No, I would not think about that. It

392
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Speaker 1: does sound a little bitchy of me, but I truly

393
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Speaker 1: just wouldn't think. Oh my god. The TSA person didn't

394
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Speaker 1: notice it was my birthday. Listen, I I would be upset,

395
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Speaker 1: and I'm the same page. I want acknowledgement on my birthday.

396
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to be told, oh, it's your birthday,

397
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Speaker 2: Happy birthday, and Britney Spears. I get it every time.

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Speaker 1: It's fine. God, really, that's fine. She's fine sharing that.

399
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Speaker 1: But that's like what I know is coming next. Oh

400
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Speaker 1: it's Britney Stars birthday too. I'm like, I don't know,

401
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:24,280
Speaker 1: happy birthday.

402
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Speaker 3: Shout out today years old that I will happy Britney spears.

403
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Speaker 1: Everyone. I think that this is a very important topic

404
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:35,199
Speaker 1: because knowing that I don't, I don't see birthdays the

405
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Speaker 1: same I've always known Jana has so I try to

406
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Speaker 1: make it like I try to do my best. But

407
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Speaker 1: now I know I didn't know this about you, so

408
00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,080
Speaker 1: there's a good chance I've never well, I don't know

409
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Speaker 1: that I have celebrated your birthday. Yeah, but you're it

410
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,080
Speaker 1: doesn't That's my whole thing. I don't care if anybody else.

411
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Speaker 1: I just want to do what I want to do

412
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Speaker 1: on that. Okay, that's fair. I mean I don't still

413
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Speaker 1: want to do what I want to be missed it if.

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't be sad. I wouldn't be like, how did

415
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Speaker 2: she read?

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Speaker 1: I've never been that.

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Speaker 2: Really good question though, to ask your spouse and your

418
00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:04,800
Speaker 2: best friend to say, does it bother you when we

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Speaker 2: don't celebrate something on your birthday or birthday weekend or

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Speaker 2: whatever it is?

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Speaker 1: You know?

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00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:14,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I'm finding this thing for Alan

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00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:17,400
Speaker 2: that has to be as you know, because I don't

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Speaker 2: want to be on his birthday.

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00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:22,919
Speaker 1: Now, I dope to me. Yes, I do still understand

426
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:26,320
Speaker 1: even if he didn't care when he celebrated his birthday

427
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,440
Speaker 1: to maybe not do the Christmas party. Yeah, that's still

428
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,439
Speaker 1: a lot in his birthdays. But yeah, I have a

429
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:34,720
Speaker 1: feeling Alan couldn't care less. I'm going to go with that. Yeah,

430
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:37,920
Speaker 1: here's the selfish part of me. This is where because

431
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:39,680
Speaker 1: I don't want it to sound like this, there's any

432
00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:42,280
Speaker 1: like whatever, here's a selfish part of me. If I'm

433
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Speaker 1: busy on that day, I'm great with you still celebrating

434
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:47,919
Speaker 1: me another day, you know what I mean? Like it

435
00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:51,119
Speaker 1: just takes it away. It's like not I just have

436
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:52,359
Speaker 1: been able to on my birthday.

437
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:54,199
Speaker 3: Yeah. Plus I'm not a good liar. So at the restaurant,

438
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:55,840
Speaker 3: they're like happy birthday. I was like, actually it was

439
00:18:55,840 --> 00:18:59,440
Speaker 3: six days ago. Like I'm just not very keeping things

440
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:00,359
Speaker 3: very honest, you know.

441
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,720
Speaker 2: So then it just feels like another day. It's like

442
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:04,879
Speaker 2: you get one day, only one.

443
00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:07,320
Speaker 1: So does this mean I don't get a birthday party

444
00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:07,760
Speaker 1: this year?

445
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:08,679
Speaker 2: No?

446
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:13,280
Speaker 1: You do? Is what's happening on? Like I'm gone, but

447
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:13,600
Speaker 1: you don't.

448
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:14,960
Speaker 2: I guess you don't care about it.

449
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:19,399
Speaker 1: So answer is I get no birthday.

450
00:19:19,760 --> 00:19:21,760
Speaker 2: We haven't been able to celebrate because you have been gone?

451
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:24,280
Speaker 1: No, so we did it? Was it last year or

452
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:25,919
Speaker 1: two years ago? We did a game night?

453
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:26,640
Speaker 2: We did a game night.

454
00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:28,919
Speaker 1: I think that was two years ago. Yeah, because I

455
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:32,160
Speaker 1: was traveling and I think it was a different day

456
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:33,600
Speaker 1: and it was great. I loved it.

457
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:37,320
Speaker 2: Okay, well we do. We do need a time in

458
00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,240
Speaker 2: the group that does it. And I don't know, I know,

459
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:42,119
Speaker 2: but what do we do about the birthday tomorrow? And

460
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:46,359
Speaker 2: we all have we Okay, tomorrow, it's you guys. It's fine,

461
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,160
Speaker 2: just as long as you call in text.

462
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:51,600
Speaker 3: Here's a potster moment for we think we've already potstired

463
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:52,240
Speaker 3: so much.

464
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:55,240
Speaker 1: Today, but we've never celebrated my birthday as a queendom. No,

465
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,880
Speaker 1: that's what I'm never I've never I remember a couple

466
00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:02,920
Speaker 1: of years ago, Presston planned something we weren't. We weren't

467
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:05,280
Speaker 1: all invited. This was years ago.

468
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:07,920
Speaker 2: It was everywhere going to drive to your house last

469
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,720
Speaker 2: year and you I was called out of town. I was, yeah,

470
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:13,440
Speaker 2: I was calling Sarah and we were saying there was.

471
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:16,040
Speaker 3: Some Christine's house because we're all now surprising each other

472
00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:18,000
Speaker 3: with the game nights, which I think is actually so

473
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,360
Speaker 3: we were trying to do it and Sarah was like, no,

474
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:23,320
Speaker 3: she's not what it was. You changed your you changed

475
00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:26,199
Speaker 3: the thing sown and then I was never going to

476
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:26,600
Speaker 3: be intown.

477
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:28,119
Speaker 1: You're never going to be in town. That's what it

478
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,159
Speaker 1: was last year. I have not so.

479
00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:33,199
Speaker 3: Mad about it, But it's not like I've never been

480
00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:34,840
Speaker 3: the one that's like, Okay, well when are we doing

481
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:35,480
Speaker 3: my so?

482
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:37,800
Speaker 1: Could you all be more flexible for us so we

483
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:41,560
Speaker 1: have an excuse to get together, okay, but just can't

484
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:45,040
Speaker 1: be on your birthday? But can we do something also

485
00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:49,080
Speaker 1: like a New Year's kickoff or some good You literally

486
00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:51,119
Speaker 1: can't even call it your birthday party if it's a

487
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:53,480
Speaker 1: different day. Oh no, And I wouldn't want to wait

488
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:54,560
Speaker 1: to hear people.

489
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:57,439
Speaker 2: And this is interesting. This is a hot topic.

490
00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:00,320
Speaker 3: Also, like it's not I feel selfish if you were

491
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,360
Speaker 3: like and then we're gonna like this isn't hanak, I'm

492
00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:04,520
Speaker 3: not having eight days of myself Like that's crazy to me.

493
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:07,639
Speaker 1: I just get see that's where I'm selfish. I'm like, bitch,

494
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:09,760
Speaker 1: we still doing it a couple of days. Let's go

495
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,600
Speaker 1: it's birthday? Yeah like whatever?

496
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:15,679
Speaker 3: Well, also, love is January fifth, so I only get like, well,

497
00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:17,600
Speaker 3: I have to cut my nof so we have that too.

498
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like it's like two days, it's me two days,

499
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:24,520
Speaker 1: you know, it's Nick two days. No, it's me two days, Nick,

500
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:25,320
Speaker 1: two days, Cayden.

501
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:27,600
Speaker 3: Yeah. So I'm like everyone gets there, like gotta keep

502
00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:31,320
Speaker 3: it teddy. Yeah, Okay, Well that was just I'm so sorry, guys.

503
00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:33,640
Speaker 3: I just did not know all of this and that offended.

504
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:35,040
Speaker 2: Though I want to be very clear, I'm just not

505
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:40,119
Speaker 2: offended if it's not celebrated, like the can you celebrate

506
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:47,280
Speaker 2: your birthday? Not on your birthday comment below? Uh so

507
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,440
Speaker 2: I have a whine about it?

508
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:51,639
Speaker 1: Is this our pinned chat GPT whine about it? Or

509
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:53,800
Speaker 1: another one? Save that? Keep saving that?

510
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:55,520
Speaker 3: Are we gonna save it and then delete it? Because

511
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:57,600
Speaker 3: that's my biggest fear if we don't get you fresh.

512
00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:00,720
Speaker 2: But what I would like to delete is my chat GPT.

513
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:06,320
Speaker 2: Let's do no, I mean, like my history. Oh, let's do.

514
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:16,280
Speaker 2: There's my mind about it. I get frustrated when, Okay,

515
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:19,399
Speaker 2: I've been here since twenty nineteen, in the summer of

516
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,920
Speaker 2: twenty nineteen. I've been here for six years.

517
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:24,880
Speaker 1: You were here before that, though, Oh yeah, since you're back, right, yeah?

518
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:26,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I'm saying since the last time I

519
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:28,840
Speaker 2: was Okay, so I was in LA for what two years?

520
00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 2: I too, Italian little twoish years. Well, I was in

521
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,639
Speaker 2: LA a long long time. I lived here for a

522
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:40,160
Speaker 2: couple of years. And then yeah, and Nashville's obviously gotten

523
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:43,280
Speaker 2: out of hand, traffic wise out of hand, ridiculously out

524
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:46,560
Speaker 2: of hand, I though, get and I can't even imagine

525
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:51,440
Speaker 2: you are a Ogi raised og. Yeah yeah, so I

526
00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:53,159
Speaker 2: can't even imagine how you might feel. And you might

527
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:55,640
Speaker 2: not care. But this is this is what it bothers

528
00:22:55,680 --> 00:23:01,280
Speaker 2: me when people have moved here from let's say, California

529
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:05,200
Speaker 2: or wherever, and then they complain about the traffic and saying,

530
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:08,000
Speaker 2: all right, Nashville, well, we're full stop moving here when

531
00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:11,160
Speaker 2: I'm like, you moved here, you came here.

532
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:13,760
Speaker 1: You can't actually say that. Yeah, you guys like I

533
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:15,200
Speaker 1: are actually going.

534
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:19,119
Speaker 2: On stories to say like stop moving here, And I'm like,

535
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,040
Speaker 2: you can't actually say you moved here three years ago.

536
00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:23,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, you have no right to say, yeah, you're part

537
00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:26,520
Speaker 3: of it. Actually we want to give your U call back.

538
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:30,560
Speaker 3: But like, I've been here eleven years and I won't

539
00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:32,000
Speaker 3: say that because I'm like, I didn't grow up here,

540
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,560
Speaker 3: you know, Preston's been here like getting close to thirty

541
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:35,199
Speaker 3: years almost.

542
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:38,760
Speaker 1: I really think it's like five to seven is when

543
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:41,000
Speaker 1: the big change really happened.

544
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,320
Speaker 3: I feel like, especially in the last two or three,

545
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:44,560
Speaker 3: it has gotten out of hand.

546
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,080
Speaker 1: Oh, I mean, the drive is crazy.

547
00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:48,879
Speaker 2: I don't know why. It just kind of bothered me

548
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:52,160
Speaker 2: because I'm like, if you didn't originally come from here, yeah,

549
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,280
Speaker 2: and you've only been here for a couple of years,

550
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:55,439
Speaker 2: I don't know.

551
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:58,080
Speaker 3: It's almost like in those movies like Indiana Jones when

552
00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:01,040
Speaker 3: they like barely get through the gate, you know, and like, oh,

553
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:03,200
Speaker 3: just by the skin of their teeth, and they make

554
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:05,399
Speaker 3: it out and then they're like to turn around and

555
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,520
Speaker 3: be like the rest of you can't come. You know,

556
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:09,679
Speaker 3: it's like okay, wait a second, Like you don't get

557
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:11,840
Speaker 3: to close the door. What that doesn't make any sense.

558
00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, they don't. They don't have the right to say that,

559
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:17,199
Speaker 1: for sure. I agree. Yeah, this is why I stay home.

560
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:20,080
Speaker 1: I don't have to deal with the traffic. I mean,

561
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:21,680
Speaker 1: I am like living out sixty five.

562
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:23,200
Speaker 3: Got to wind about it, well, I think we've talked

563
00:24:23,240 --> 00:24:24,639
Speaker 3: about it before, but I'm sick of being stocked by

564
00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 3: my dentist's office.

565
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:30,200
Speaker 1: I am out. It is out of control. I mean,

566
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,560
Speaker 1: my kid's teeth have not been cleaned because of these people.

567
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 3: Tiffany, stop calling me. Stop calling me and then texting

568
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:38,320
Speaker 3: me afterwards. Hey, just left your voicemail.

569
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:39,239
Speaker 1: You need to follow up.

570
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 3: There's nothing to follow up. I made the appointment. We

571
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:42,240
Speaker 3: will see you.

572
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:47,159
Speaker 1: My mind is, hey, I tell I'll leave you a

573
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:49,040
Speaker 1: message and say call me back. But don't you don't

574
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:50,600
Speaker 1: give me a reason. I need a reason. Why are

575
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 1: you calling? Do I owe you money? Do we need

576
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:55,439
Speaker 1: to reschedule because I'm already scheduled. Have I heard your

577
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:57,320
Speaker 1: feeling and you're going to text me and say, hey,

578
00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:59,040
Speaker 1: I left you a voicemail. So if you can listen

579
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 1: to your voicemail and call. Have you not picked up

580
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:02,800
Speaker 1: on the hint? I'm not calling you back until you

581
00:25:02,840 --> 00:25:04,280
Speaker 1: tell me what you want. They won't tell you what

582
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:05,679
Speaker 1: they want. It's like that, you know.

583
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:07,160
Speaker 3: It's like the big meme that goes around that says,

584
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:08,880
Speaker 3: this could have been an email, or this meeting could

585
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:09,760
Speaker 3: have been an email.

586
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 1: It could have been a voicemail, This reminder Caul could

587
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:14,920
Speaker 1: have been a text. I can't then, it's not efficient.

588
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:17,200
Speaker 1: I can't do it anymore. I'm actually leaving because of it.

589
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:18,520
Speaker 1: That dentist.

590
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,399
Speaker 2: Absolutely, I gotta tell you, I'm getting close.

591
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:22,240
Speaker 1: It's bad.

592
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:25,320
Speaker 3: And listen, if I was a delinquent, you should stalk

593
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,880
Speaker 3: me to figure if I wasn't paining, if I wasn't

594
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:31,440
Speaker 3: showing up, if I've missed appointments, like if I'm late.

595
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 1: You know, it's just reminders. Also like why why do

596
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:37,360
Speaker 1: we need to talk? We don't need to.

597
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:42,119
Speaker 3: Talk the reminder like everybody else do it? Oh sorry, gosh,

598
00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:44,119
Speaker 3: it fires me up, and like I don't have.

599
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 1: I don't want to say that. I just also don't

600
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:49,000
Speaker 1: want to call you. I don't want to talk to anybody.

601
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,320
Speaker 3: Hey, girl, Like I I'm going to do what I do.

602
00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:53,560
Speaker 3: Just Hey girl, how you doing? Yeah like, okay, great,

603
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:55,160
Speaker 3: we'll see you on that date at that time.

604
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:58,400
Speaker 1: Okay, speaking of I got a creepy phone call yesterday

605
00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:01,760
Speaker 1: and it terrified me. I got a message, not terrified me.

606
00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:05,359
Speaker 1: That's a litle dramatic. Got a voicemail is said, hey,

607
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 1: this is Deputy Deputy Hamilton from the Williamson County Sheriff's

608
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:14,280
Speaker 1: Department calling you about a legal matter. Call me back

609
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:18,159
Speaker 1: exactly what it said, scam. I immediately call back. The

610
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:21,119
Speaker 1: voicemail is Deputy Hamilton, blah blah, leave a message, and

611
00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 1: I was like, this phone number doesn't match up to

612
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:26,359
Speaker 1: the whatever. So I called There's no Deputy Hamilton. So

613
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,200
Speaker 1: what were they gonna? What was going to happen?

614
00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:31,600
Speaker 3: I keep seeing this come out on our neighborhood Facebook

615
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:32,960
Speaker 3: page that they're scamming, and.

616
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:36,480
Speaker 1: It's our local sheriff's department. They used in my name,

617
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:38,840
Speaker 1: they used my name in the thing calling for Catherine

618
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:41,320
Speaker 1: Wood a terrifying, terrifying, and so I called them. I

619
00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:43,040
Speaker 1: was like, do you have a deputy Deputy Hamilton. She's

620
00:26:43,080 --> 00:26:44,480
Speaker 1: like no, ma'am. I was like, well they called me

621
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:45,200
Speaker 1: and she's like sorry.

622
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:47,199
Speaker 3: I know in our sweet parents. Can you imagine if

623
00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:49,640
Speaker 3: our parents, like Preston's parents, did they get that they're totary?

624
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:51,480
Speaker 1: I thought someone was coming after me. Actually, I thought

625
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:53,000
Speaker 1: maybe my kids were in jail there for a second.

626
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,280
Speaker 3: But but that's also just not fair, like that's an

627
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:56,199
Speaker 3: unneeded stomach game.

628
00:26:56,320 --> 00:27:10,359
Speaker 1: We don't need that, you guys.

629
00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:13,720
Speaker 2: So this is an interesting headline at egg freezing popularity

630
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:19,159
Speaker 2: increasing among young women to preserve their fertility. So basically,

631
00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:22,600
Speaker 2: you know, obviously we know our eggs kind of start

632
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:25,200
Speaker 2: to go a bit, but parents have started gifting egg

633
00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:28,879
Speaker 2: freezing to their daughters in their young twenties. What do

634
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:31,359
Speaker 2: you think of gifting egg freezing to your daughters.

635
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:35,960
Speaker 1: They're young twenties. Ooh, I don't know, I can see.

636
00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 2: Is that something you do for your own daughters?

637
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:41,439
Speaker 3: No, I would rather nurture the idea that there is

638
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:45,920
Speaker 3: no timeline. I think that this feels like a reaction

639
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:49,360
Speaker 3: to this pressing clock issue of we have to have

640
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:50,440
Speaker 3: babies by.

641
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:51,119
Speaker 1: A certain age.

642
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:54,440
Speaker 3: And maybe it's because I had my babies and all

643
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:59,320
Speaker 3: geriatric ages, especially the last one. But I would rather

644
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:02,720
Speaker 3: us nurture sure the idea that we aren't pressed and

645
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:05,640
Speaker 3: that we can take our time and meet the right

646
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:11,679
Speaker 3: person and there's no deadline. I understand. I understand the

647
00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 3: gift of it in the way that it takes the

648
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:16,240
Speaker 3: pressure off. It's like, listen, now, just go live your life.

649
00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:19,040
Speaker 3: But like, maybe we just weave those two things together.

650
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:24,479
Speaker 1: I think, like, I think if my daughter was worried

651
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:26,919
Speaker 1: about it and had come to me and was worried

652
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 1: about it and had expressed that, then yes, I would

653
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:32,480
Speaker 1: have a discussion about it. I wouldn't just gift it, though,

654
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:35,160
Speaker 1: because I feel like that would be could be received

655
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:38,240
Speaker 1: a little like, why are you wanting me to freeze

656
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:40,560
Speaker 1: my eggs? Do you not think I'm going to get married?

657
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:41,800
Speaker 1: Do you not think I'm I don't know. I just

658
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 1: feels like that could be kind of weird, as like

659
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:44,520
Speaker 1: a gift out of nowhere.

660
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:49,960
Speaker 2: Though I think it's the conversation, yeah, you know, because

661
00:28:50,040 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 2: I mean, gosh, this one girl that was doing my hair,

662
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:57,600
Speaker 2: she's twenty one, she's like, guys got engaged. And I

663
00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:00,200
Speaker 2: started to think about Jolie, and I'm like, oh, I

664
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:03,240
Speaker 2: hope like she and I feel bad even thinking that thought,

665
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 2: because I'm sure nothing against people that get engaged young.

666
00:29:06,160 --> 00:29:07,840
Speaker 2: I mean you got engaged young. But also it's like

667
00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:09,960
Speaker 2: I also know the gift of waiting to when you're

668
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:13,960
Speaker 2: older and sure, and so I just I don't but

669
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:16,400
Speaker 2: I don't know the path that they're going to choose

670
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:18,959
Speaker 2: their path and walk their walk with it all, and

671
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:21,960
Speaker 2: I can just be there to help support and offer

672
00:29:22,040 --> 00:29:25,440
Speaker 2: my opinions on it, I guess. But when it comes

673
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 2: to that, I would just if she didn't want to

674
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 2: worry about it. And it's I mean, it's a like

675
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:33,520
Speaker 2: twenty thousand dollars to freeze your eggs too, so it's

676
00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:36,960
Speaker 2: not an inexpensive thing, but to not have her worry

677
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,240
Speaker 2: about it. But also yeah, to your point too, Christen,

678
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:43,480
Speaker 2: it's more of like a let's just like maybe I

679
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:45,560
Speaker 2: had roam in at forty, right, you know, like all

680
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:48,480
Speaker 2: the time in the world, don't stress, don't don't know pressure.

681
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:51,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, it does feel a little bit like pressure too,

682
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:54,040
Speaker 1: like pressure and it's like, hey, I'm going to give

683
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:55,920
Speaker 1: this to you since you haven't had any babies yet.

684
00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:57,680
Speaker 1: You know, it just feels a little.

685
00:29:57,600 --> 00:30:00,240
Speaker 2: I think the Devil's advocate to that, to the so is.

686
00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:02,400
Speaker 2: I do have some friends that are now in their

687
00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 2: early forties that never had a chance to have a baby,

688
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:08,640
Speaker 2: and if they had that, maybe they would have done

689
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:11,520
Speaker 2: it with getting a sperm downer and being able, because

690
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:15,320
Speaker 2: now they they're just like, I'm never going to find anybody,

691
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 2: you know at this point and then I so closing

692
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:20,640
Speaker 2: the door on kids has been difficult for them.

693
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:23,320
Speaker 3: I mean that would be heartbreaking for me. Yeah, but

694
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:25,040
Speaker 3: if you had this right.

695
00:30:25,920 --> 00:30:28,320
Speaker 1: At a certain point, maybe not young twenties, but at

696
00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 1: a certain point, people that really want kids start thinking

697
00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:33,240
Speaker 1: that way and it becomes maybe more of a discussion,

698
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:36,080
Speaker 1: like I am worried about this. Now I'm thirty something

699
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:39,360
Speaker 1: years old. Let's freeze up the early twenties. Probably twenty

700
00:30:39,600 --> 00:30:42,200
Speaker 1: seems little. Yeah, you're still an egg yourself.

701
00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:45,520
Speaker 2: What are you doing? So I feel like finances have

702
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:48,240
Speaker 2: become a huge strain on my relationship with my husband.

703
00:30:48,320 --> 00:30:50,680
Speaker 2: When we first got married, he was the breadwinner, and now,

704
00:30:50,720 --> 00:30:54,360
Speaker 2: after some unfortunate roadbumps, I have had more success in

705
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 2: my career and that power has shifted to me. We

706
00:30:57,440 --> 00:31:00,320
Speaker 2: never had intimacy issues or problems communicating when he was

707
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:02,200
Speaker 2: in charge of the money, but now that it is

708
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:05,120
Speaker 2: coming from me, there are issues everywhere. He hasn't said

709
00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:06,960
Speaker 2: it directly, but I can tell that the shift has

710
00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:09,959
Speaker 2: made him question his identity and his role in our marriage.

711
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:13,360
Speaker 2: I've tried to reassure him that I don't see him

712
00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 2: any differently and that his worth to me has nothing

713
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:17,840
Speaker 2: to do with income. But despite that, the tension is

714
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:20,280
Speaker 2: still there. How can I heal the intimacy issues we're

715
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:22,160
Speaker 2: having because he feels like his role as a man

716
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:26,160
Speaker 2: is being questioned even though I'm not questioning it. So

717
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:28,760
Speaker 2: I would just say, no matter how much your question

718
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:31,280
Speaker 2: at all, it is a man's intuition. It is a

719
00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 2: man's whole like being of being on this earth is

720
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:39,760
Speaker 2: to provide for the woman. I mean, that's cave cave

721
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:42,600
Speaker 2: madays of like I provide. I bring home the food

722
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:46,400
Speaker 2: and the money and everything, and so it's it's not

723
00:31:46,560 --> 00:31:50,520
Speaker 2: easy for guys to have the women be the breadwinner

724
00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:51,560
Speaker 2: no matter.

725
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:56,280
Speaker 1: And my experience have had no problem. Yeah, there's still.

726
00:31:58,080 --> 00:32:01,920
Speaker 2: They can say, but I think are still the majority

727
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:05,000
Speaker 2: of men don't like that. I'd agree, and so I

728
00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:09,000
Speaker 2: think he has to find so he's tying his worth

729
00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:12,640
Speaker 2: into not There's nothing you honestly can say besides don't

730
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:14,360
Speaker 2: harp on the fact that he's not bringing in the mindy,

731
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:16,960
Speaker 2: So if you're making him feel which doesn't sound like

732
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:18,920
Speaker 2: you are at all, but if you're like, oh well,

733
00:32:18,960 --> 00:32:21,400
Speaker 2: it'd be nice if I had help or stress. Like,

734
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:23,480
Speaker 2: if you're throwing comments like that, then his worth is

735
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:25,240
Speaker 2: going to go down and he's going to be stressed

736
00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:28,000
Speaker 2: and feel that pressure. But if you keep uplifting him

737
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:31,160
Speaker 2: and if you can encourage him to find his purpose

738
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:33,160
Speaker 2: outside of it and just know this is the season

739
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:36,640
Speaker 2: and let him you know, and help him. Yeah, just

740
00:32:36,680 --> 00:32:39,880
Speaker 2: have you know his How do I say that? Like,

741
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:44,600
Speaker 2: let him have his guys, So what am I trying

742
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 2: to say here?

743
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:48,600
Speaker 1: Let him have like his feelings about it or I

744
00:32:48,640 --> 00:32:49,440
Speaker 1: don't know where.

745
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:52,320
Speaker 2: I know, I'm getting tired. No, but just and just

746
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:54,800
Speaker 2: let him have you know, like he has to figure

747
00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:56,680
Speaker 2: this peace out. But it's nothing that you can do

748
00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 2: to change that besides just be there for him as

749
00:32:58,840 --> 00:32:59,360
Speaker 2: a good wife.

750
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:00,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think even.

751
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:04,640
Speaker 3: Just reinerating like how you couldn't do what you do

752
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 3: for the family if he wasn't a piece of it too,

753
00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:09,959
Speaker 3: you know, like Preston's really I know I'm not the

754
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:12,360
Speaker 3: man of the house, but like he's obviously the breadwinner

755
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:15,040
Speaker 3: for us and I always feel so valued in the

756
00:33:15,120 --> 00:33:16,760
Speaker 3: role that I play that makes him be able to

757
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:19,320
Speaker 3: go do the things that he's doing. So even that

758
00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:22,280
Speaker 3: I think could be you know, I couldn't do my job,

759
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:25,880
Speaker 3: or even just reiterating like the ebbs and flows right,

760
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:28,960
Speaker 3: like in another five years he'll be back to doing

761
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 3: that maybe, and you're just saying, like, listen, this is

762
00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:33,280
Speaker 3: why we team work. In the season, I'm driving the

763
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:35,040
Speaker 3: ship and I'm happy to hand it back over to you,

764
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:36,520
Speaker 3: and I couldn't do it without you, you know.

765
00:33:36,800 --> 00:33:37,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that.

766
00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:41,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that is hard though, And I also want

767
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:44,520
Speaker 3: to say, like it is a gift that he feels

768
00:33:44,520 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 3: that way, because I have been in relationships where a

769
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 3: man just took and I was the breadwinner and it

770
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:53,640
Speaker 3: was really not handsome.

771
00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 1: So especially if they don't seem appreciative of it.

772
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,320
Speaker 3: I mean, I guess I was appreciative, but also not

773
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:02,200
Speaker 3: so appreciative that he was ready to go like grab

774
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:03,280
Speaker 3: a job and help me out.

775
00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 1: You know, So I do think to change it.

776
00:34:05,600 --> 00:34:07,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's really like a hot it's hot

777
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:09,759
Speaker 3: to me that he wants to provide and that that

778
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:14,000
Speaker 3: is frustrating because the opposite is not cute, not cute

779
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:14,480
Speaker 3: at all.

780
00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:18,000
Speaker 2: Well, ladies, this was a fun one. Last time we

781
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:23,680
Speaker 2: talked to you at forty one. Oh alright, guys, all

782
00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:27,920
Speaker 2: right bye