1
00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:07,400
Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that came out with a new

2
00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:11,000
Speaker 1: sound effect machine for bed, but instead of whale noises

3
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:15,080
Speaker 1: or waves crashing, it plays famous celebrities swearing at you

4
00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:19,680
Speaker 1: while you're still away. Set it to Gordon Ramsey Kitchen

5
00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:23,600
Speaker 1: Nightmares edition and let him shame you to sleep.

6
00:00:24,239 --> 00:00:29,520
Speaker 2: You pathetic dribbling insomnia. I've seen crackheads doze off faster.

7
00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:32,360
Speaker 2: It's Laser Stories.

8
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,479
Speaker 1: The segment where we read weird news stories around the globe,

9
00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:36,440
Speaker 1: just like everyone else does, except we've got a laser.

10
00:00:36,840 --> 00:00:39,920
Speaker 1: Where's other snooze losers just don't? This first laser story

11
00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:43,879
Speaker 1: is out of Washington State. There's a man named Donald

12
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:47,640
Speaker 1: Parks who's just been arrested for the ninety eighth time.

13
00:00:49,120 --> 00:00:49,920
Speaker 2: Do they let him out?

14
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:50,920
Speaker 3: Is that a world record?

15
00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:55,480
Speaker 1: It? Do you get some sort of plaque when you

16
00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:58,360
Speaker 1: reach your one hundred the rest? Oh, it's like YouTube,

17
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,160
Speaker 1: They give you some kind of like, yeah, something like that.

18
00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:03,440
Speaker 3: If he's like under ninety eight, it's more than once

19
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:03,800
Speaker 3: a year.

20
00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:08,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's his own tradition regardless.

21
00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,919
Speaker 1: This time he led officers on a high speed chase

22
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:15,280
Speaker 1: after stealing thousands of dollars worth of merchandise from several stores.

23
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:18,840
Speaker 3: Hey, nobody can tamp it this. This never worked out

24
00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:19,520
Speaker 3: for you before.

25
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, he gets out and does it again. He got

26
00:01:23,319 --> 00:01:24,920
Speaker 2: to love a guy that doesn't give up. Though.

27
00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:28,160
Speaker 1: The cops had to call off the chase due to

28
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:32,800
Speaker 1: the extremely reckless behavior he was exhibiting on the roads,

29
00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:36,319
Speaker 1: but tracked Donald down a little while later and apprehended him.

30
00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:38,440
Speaker 2: Just have his own like.

31
00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:41,360
Speaker 3: Sel Yeah, like all the other ninety seven times he did.

32
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,800
Speaker 1: The police found a bunch of stolen merchandise and drugs

33
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:48,080
Speaker 1: while searching his truck. And get this, they also found

34
00:01:48,160 --> 00:01:52,920
Speaker 1: a custom bond device actually built into the dash so

35
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,080
Speaker 1: he could comfortably smoke drugs while driving.

36
00:01:56,280 --> 00:02:01,720
Speaker 2: I am on a drug it's called is a four

37
00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:03,280
Speaker 2: time convicted felon.

38
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:07,800
Speaker 1: He has twenty seven misdemeanor convictions across those ninety seven

39
00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:08,760
Speaker 1: prior arrests.

40
00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:10,800
Speaker 4: You're right, Jose, They should have like some sort of

41
00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:13,640
Speaker 4: Marriott rewards type of thing for the jail system, Like

42
00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:14,880
Speaker 4: he'd be a platinum member.

43
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,519
Speaker 2: He's a platinum member.

44
00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:20,800
Speaker 1: He's now facing charges of DUI, eluding police and possession

45
00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:25,440
Speaker 1: of narcotics. He walks in, Hey, Sarah, you guys, how

46
00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:25,799
Speaker 1: you doing?

47
00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:27,280
Speaker 3: Oh man, this sell again.

48
00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:31,040
Speaker 1: This next Lazer story is out of the friendly skies.

49
00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,440
Speaker 1: If you've ever been lucky enough to score an entire

50
00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:37,520
Speaker 1: row to yourself on a flight, yeah, and you'll.

51
00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:38,320
Speaker 2: Definitely appreciate this.

52
00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:43,760
Speaker 1: United just announced an upcoming new perk called United Relax Row,

53
00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:47,440
Speaker 1: where you can book an entire row of three seats

54
00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:49,119
Speaker 1: to turn into a couch.

55
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:53,480
Speaker 3: Airlines before I saw these pictures of this.

56
00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:55,800
Speaker 4: It's like the foot rest comes up and makes the

57
00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:58,919
Speaker 4: whole thing like a flatbed, so amazing.

58
00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:01,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, you can raise up those adjustable leg rests so

59
00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:03,360
Speaker 1: that you could convert the road to a bed or

60
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:06,760
Speaker 1: some sort of couch like surface for a cozy stretching out.

61
00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:09,480
Speaker 3: Shit. I remember the first time I saw someone laying

62
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:11,240
Speaker 3: across all three rows. I was like, we can do that.

63
00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:13,880
Speaker 2: I'm gonna kick you out. And it's not just that.

64
00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:16,840
Speaker 1: They'll even give you a mattress pad, a blanket, and

65
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:20,280
Speaker 1: two pillows. Plus if you're traveling with kids, they'll toss

66
00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:23,639
Speaker 1: in a plushy as well. I can see Broke doing

67
00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:25,440
Speaker 1: this with her whole family in one row.

68
00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,360
Speaker 2: Michael and the kids all pile.

69
00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:30,400
Speaker 4: We always try to get the bulkhead in economy whenever

70
00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:33,000
Speaker 4: we fly just because then you can have a little

71
00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:33,519
Speaker 4: more space.

72
00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:35,040
Speaker 3: Kids can lay on the floor.

73
00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:37,760
Speaker 4: Which is not safe, but it's kind of like the

74
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,600
Speaker 4: seat belt rules my mom had when in the eighties, so.

75
00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:43,240
Speaker 2: Were laying in the aisle. But the thing is you

76
00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:44,400
Speaker 2: can't get it yet.

77
00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:47,880
Speaker 1: A United Blacks row will be available starting next year

78
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:51,640
Speaker 1: on select flights each plane allowed up to twelve of

79
00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:53,360
Speaker 1: these brand new rows available.

80
00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:56,680
Speaker 3: How much more are they gonna charge us, Percy, Yeah.

81
00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:57,760
Speaker 2: It's gonna be like first class.

82
00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:00,240
Speaker 1: No word on how much it's gonna cost, although let's

83
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,480
Speaker 1: be honest, you know it's not gonna be cheap. And

84
00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:05,000
Speaker 1: they also haven't said how the booking will work, if

85
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:08,280
Speaker 1: they'll make seats in these rows available individually, or if

86
00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:09,640
Speaker 1: they're gonna sell them as a unit.

87
00:04:10,960 --> 00:04:13,080
Speaker 4: You have a partner, you and your husband, and then

88
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:16,279
Speaker 4: somebody's in the middle row, you just.

89
00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:17,080
Speaker 2: Put your legs over.

90
00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:22,480
Speaker 1: I guess we will keep you updated on more details

91
00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:25,080
Speaker 1: as they come. This next laser story is out of

92
00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:29,000
Speaker 1: movie Mayhem. It's a funny gimmick to watch the movie

93
00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:32,040
Speaker 1: Jaws while floating in a pool or at a water park.

94
00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:36,760
Speaker 1: But Valente Beach Resort in Lake Travis, Texas has taken

95
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:40,080
Speaker 1: that experience to an entirely new level because people can

96
00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:43,960
Speaker 1: buy tickets to the event called Jaws on the Water.

97
00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:49,080
Speaker 1: You're given an inner tube to float in the middle

98
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:52,840
Speaker 1: of a dark lake water while watching on a massive screen.

99
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:56,920
Speaker 1: But the catch, at any point you could be dragged

100
00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:58,080
Speaker 1: under the surface.

101
00:04:58,360 --> 00:04:59,320
Speaker 3: No way.

102
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,080
Speaker 2: The company did.

103
00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:05,920
Speaker 1: They not sharks, but they did hire divers to swim

104
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:09,599
Speaker 1: around during the film and scare viewers. While at some

105
00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,960
Speaker 1: points you might just feel a thin nick the bottom

106
00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:14,800
Speaker 1: of your feet, at the most intense part of the movie,

107
00:05:14,839 --> 00:05:17,799
Speaker 1: the divers will grab your legs and pull you under.

108
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:21,839
Speaker 2: You should have shark fins on the divers.

109
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,960
Speaker 4: Are you disappointed if you're the person who doesn't get

110
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,080
Speaker 4: pulled unders waiting for.

111
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,840
Speaker 2: That, or you're finally about to kiss her and then

112
00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:28,640
Speaker 2: they pull you in.

113
00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:32,360
Speaker 1: The tickets are thirty five bucks and sold out in

114
00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:37,760
Speaker 1: literally seconds, So why such a high demand. Psychologists call

115
00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:42,839
Speaker 1: this controlled extreme a way to pretend to experience death

116
00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:45,839
Speaker 1: in order to reset your accumulated anxiety.

117
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:48,839
Speaker 3: Oh, that's where we are with anxiety. On society, it's

118
00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:49,560
Speaker 3: fake dive.

119
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,880
Speaker 1: And then after the movie, patrons say they've never felt morelied.

120
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:57,200
Speaker 1: Though many on social media argue you couldn't pay them

121
00:05:57,320 --> 00:06:00,359
Speaker 1: enough to attend. One person said, if I was invited,

122
00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:02,719
Speaker 1: the water would be a whole lot browner.

123
00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:06,039
Speaker 2: By the end of the I'd just be holding on

124
00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:07,320
Speaker 2: for dear life the whole time.

125
00:06:07,880 --> 00:06:10,359
Speaker 3: They would be crying, Yeah, don't get me, don't get me.

126
00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:13,520
Speaker 1: Let's go to your final laser story. Out of trend town.

127
00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,279
Speaker 1: What do you think of this trend? Some couples are

128
00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:21,120
Speaker 1: passing on expensive engagement rings and opting to spend the

129
00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:22,920
Speaker 1: money on a vacation instead.

130
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:26,200
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I love it.

131
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:29,800
Speaker 4: I think the engagement ring thing is just a big

132
00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:30,560
Speaker 4: marketing ploy.

133
00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:33,400
Speaker 2: I mean it was the beers or somebody all of it.

134
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:37,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not even an early honeymoon, it's an engagement moon.

135
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:41,240
Speaker 1: According to a new report, sixty five percent of Americans

136
00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:44,240
Speaker 1: say that engagement rings have evolved from a traditional symbol

137
00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:47,920
Speaker 1: of love into a financial burden. Yeah.

138
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:47,839
Speaker 4: Yeah.

139
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:50,800
Speaker 1: Twenty six percent of gen zers would rather pass on

140
00:06:50,839 --> 00:06:52,680
Speaker 1: a pricey ring and just use the cash to go

141
00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:55,080
Speaker 1: on a trip together, and twenty five percent of those

142
00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:59,840
Speaker 1: people say they just get matching tattoos instead, even tattooed rings.

143
00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:01,880
Speaker 3: Okay, let's not do that till after you've been married

144
00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:02,240
Speaker 3: a while.

145
00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:07,080
Speaker 2: How are you supposed to know that you're engaged to someone?

146
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,800
Speaker 3: Why do you have to broadcast it to everybody?

147
00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:10,240
Speaker 2: I don't know.

148
00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:14,400
Speaker 4: I had engage a ring that was a ring my

149
00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:16,280
Speaker 4: mother in law made, and.

150
00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:17,840
Speaker 2: You said such kind things about it.

151
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:19,200
Speaker 3: I loved it, and I still have it.

152
00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:21,080
Speaker 4: I just don't wear that much because it's long story.

153
00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:23,960
Speaker 4: But but yeah, I can't wear it in my wedding band.

154
00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:26,040
Speaker 3: Like it's not like that traditional that goes together.

155
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:28,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, so there's some new options coming down the pike.

156
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:31,520
Speaker 1: About half of younger Americans say they feel more pressure

157
00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:35,320
Speaker 1: from social media and from society to get an expensive

158
00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:38,520
Speaker 1: engagement ring rather than from their own family or their partner.

159
00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:41,200
Speaker 2: These celebrities that have like houses on their.

160
00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:43,560
Speaker 3: Fingers, Yeah, and then you see them get robbed.

161
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:47,960
Speaker 2: Last, for this guy, he's a traditionalist.

162
00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:51,680
Speaker 1: Not only did he meet with the father of a

163
00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:55,679
Speaker 1: pink sketcher to ask permission first, but he also showed

164
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:57,520
Speaker 1: him the tongue ring that he wants.

165
00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:57,760
Speaker 2: To put on.

166
00:07:58,440 --> 00:07:59,520
Speaker 3: Oh the tongue ring.

167
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:00,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's very sweet.

168
00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:02,560
Speaker 1: And that's how means Laser Stories has come to an

169
00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:04,520
Speaker 1: end for the day, we'll do it again. The same

170
00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:09,120
Speaker 1: time on Monday, Rook and Jeffrey in the morning