WEBVTT - Do You Know Your True Value and Worth? (Part 5) (Outweigh)

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<v Speaker 1>I won't let my body out be outwait everything that

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<v Speaker 1>I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm learning love who I am.

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<v Speaker 1>I get, I'm strong, I feel free, I know every

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<v Speaker 1>part of me.

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<v Speaker 3>It's beautiful.

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<v Speaker 1>And that will always out way if you feel it

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<v Speaker 1>but your hands and there she'll some love to the

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<v Speaker 1>h I get. That's take you one day and did

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<v Speaker 1>you and die out way?

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<v Speaker 2>Happy Saturday outweigh Amy here?

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, Hello, It's Leanne and.

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<v Speaker 3>We're to the final ingredients of our finding your True

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<v Speaker 3>Value and Worth cookie that we're making.

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<v Speaker 2>And the question is do you know your true value

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<v Speaker 2>and worth?

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<v Speaker 3>And hopefully as you've worked through each of these ingredients

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<v Speaker 3>the last five Saturdays or today's day five, you know

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<v Speaker 3>you'll have a better understanding of what it'll like for

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<v Speaker 3>you to work towards knowing your worth and your value

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<v Speaker 3>and so ingredient five is your version of self endorsement, Nellian,

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<v Speaker 3>What does that mean?

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<v Speaker 1>You'll notice there's so much crossover even what we talked

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<v Speaker 1>about last week with self worth. But we're wired to

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<v Speaker 1>just care what other people think about us. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>we are I care what you think about me? Amy,

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<v Speaker 1>That's and I'm unapologetic about it because I'm human, right,

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<v Speaker 1>and you care what people think about you. It's just

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<v Speaker 1>how we're wired. But what happens is is when we

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<v Speaker 1>don't have a sense of self and we don't feel

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<v Speaker 1>what I call self endorse like ability to see the

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<v Speaker 1>value and worthiness in ourselves, and we're so dependent on

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<v Speaker 1>getting it from other people. When it's so out of

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<v Speaker 1>balance like that, it can be really harmful. And so

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<v Speaker 1>this idea of self endorsement is again, it's not even

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<v Speaker 1>possible to not care what other people think about you.

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<v Speaker 1>But what is possible is for you to elevate how

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<v Speaker 1>you care and what you think and how you value

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<v Speaker 1>yourself and the way you see and perceive yourself and

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<v Speaker 1>be your own champion and be your own supporter and

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<v Speaker 1>not in this kind of You know a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>people think, well, is that is that cocky? Is that condescending?

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<v Speaker 1>Is that braggadocious? Is it vain? You know? And I say, no,

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<v Speaker 1>that your self endorse self just knows who you are.

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<v Speaker 1>You're unapologetic about it. But then we talked about this

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<v Speaker 1>distinction last week too, about desire versus require. It's like, yes,

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<v Speaker 1>absolutely desire that people also see the beauty and the

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<v Speaker 1>value in who you are, but not solely relying on

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<v Speaker 1>it to feel it for yourself, being able to self

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<v Speaker 1>endorse self, you know, validate almost not exclusively, but primarily,

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<v Speaker 1>and it will create so much more resilience in you.

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<v Speaker 1>It will enrich your relationship with yourself, enrich your relationship

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<v Speaker 1>with others. You'll be able to actually receive compliments and

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<v Speaker 1>endorsement from other people because it's aligned with how you

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<v Speaker 1>perceive yourself. So really it's a self perception conversation.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm just picturing someone finally getting the hang of this

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<v Speaker 3>me included, and like hearing someone say something back to

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<v Speaker 3>them that they already recognize in themselves and receive it

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<v Speaker 3>and just be like, yeah, you know.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, absolutely totally. Yep, I've read received that.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's sounds that right. I've been working on that,

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<v Speaker 2>thank you for sure.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>And it's compartmentalized, and it's such a journey, Like I

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<v Speaker 1>don't want anybody think it's this like one and done thing.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, you remember, Amy, a few weeks ago, I

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<v Speaker 1>came to you and we were experiencing something and something

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<v Speaker 1>happened in my life and I was sharing with you

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<v Speaker 1>and I was like, I don't have a muscle for this,

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<v Speaker 1>so I'm not self endorsed in this capacity, like I'm

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<v Speaker 1>self endorsed in this area of my life, been in

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<v Speaker 1>this I'm not. So I'm still figuring out what self

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<v Speaker 1>endorsement right now in this capacity, and this circumstance looks

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<v Speaker 1>like and giving ourselves permission to be coachable and imperfect

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<v Speaker 1>and on a journey and never like this. I believe

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<v Speaker 1>mastery is this lifelong conversation, so you know, and finding

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<v Speaker 1>next levels of yourself, like what do they say, new level,

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<v Speaker 1>new devils, So as you're going to the next level

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<v Speaker 1>of your life and new challenges, you might have to

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<v Speaker 1>find that next level of endorsement. But it's available to you.

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<v Speaker 1>But again, it will never be found in Oh. I

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<v Speaker 1>hope that when I get to a certain weight, then

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<v Speaker 1>I'll finally see the beauty of who I am. And

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<v Speaker 1>I hope when you know somebody else thinks I'm cool,

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<v Speaker 1>then I'll finally feel cool. No, you've got to be

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<v Speaker 1>able to generate that within yourself.

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<v Speaker 3>I feel like you have to be your biggest cheerleader,

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<v Speaker 3>and that's not always easy. But I'm like even picturing,

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<v Speaker 3>like inside my head little cheerleaders with their little pom poms,

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<v Speaker 3>and sometimes they have to like congratulate me, or when

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<v Speaker 3>I do something well, I try to acknowledge it and

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<v Speaker 3>exercise that muscle. So therefore it feels more natural and

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<v Speaker 3>more normal. Like you were saying, it's not a bragging thing.

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<v Speaker 3>It doesn't even have to be out loud. You could

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<v Speaker 3>be in your journal or just inside your head with

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<v Speaker 3>your little cheerleaders. But that's how I picture it, or

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<v Speaker 3>how I've had to ever since. I mean Land once

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<v Speaker 3>gave me homework to, you know, just sort of brag

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<v Speaker 3>about myself in my journal or write down all the

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<v Speaker 3>things that you've done well this week and that you're.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, what are you doing well? What are you proud of?

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<v Speaker 3>And I journaled through that, and I think that that's

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<v Speaker 3>when the little little cheerlead in my head had to

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<v Speaker 3>show up to be like, Okay.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we can do this right well.

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<v Speaker 1>Our brains are wired towards something called a negativity bias.

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<v Speaker 1>So it is just as our brains are wired, we

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<v Speaker 1>are wired to look for what we're not doing, who

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<v Speaker 1>we're not being, what's not working all of that. It's

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<v Speaker 1>also you know, any of us that are high achieving

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<v Speaker 1>and we're go getters. Like again, you might be waking

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<v Speaker 1>up thinking like what did I not get done on

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<v Speaker 1>my to do list? Like what where am I behind?

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<v Speaker 1>And that's okay, but that's why it's also important. So

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<v Speaker 1>it's not like those those negative air quotes, negative voices

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<v Speaker 1>or critical voices are going to just magically go away, right,

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<v Speaker 1>But what we want to do is we want to

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<v Speaker 1>build us a part of our self image that shows

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<v Speaker 1>up with little pomp poms, you know, like our little

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<v Speaker 1>cheerleader with pomp poms in the face of those other

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<v Speaker 1>parts of us where we might be looking at where

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<v Speaker 1>what we're not doing, or who we're not being, or

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<v Speaker 1>what we're not proud of. Right, But then it's also

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<v Speaker 1>a matter of like this reframing can be really powerful.

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<v Speaker 1>So for example, if anybody is listening to this and

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<v Speaker 1>they have toxic shame about their past, you know, maybe

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<v Speaker 1>what they where they think they should be by now,

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<v Speaker 1>or what they're not doing, or something that happened to them.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm not telling you to go paint roses and

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<v Speaker 1>butterflies over things that really cause you pain. But sometimes

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<v Speaker 1>I can look at the pain and I can say,

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<v Speaker 1>you know what, I'm so proud of who I showed

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<v Speaker 1>up as in the face of that pain or despite

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<v Speaker 1>what happened to me or that traumatic experience in my life.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm so proud of the version of myself I went

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<v Speaker 1>and like, you know, gritted my way to become so

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<v Speaker 1>that that didn't happen again, or I was better prepared

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<v Speaker 1>to handle it. And so again it's a choice, and

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<v Speaker 1>it's almost a reframe. But even the same data, the

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<v Speaker 1>same set of circumstances, we could look at where we

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<v Speaker 1>you know, let ourselves down or where we air quotes

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<v Speaker 1>regret things. But again, does that serve us, like can

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<v Speaker 1>we reframe it and be like, you know what, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't have to like that that just happened. In fact,

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<v Speaker 1>it can outright suck. But I'm really proud of this part,

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<v Speaker 1>or I'm proud of who I am becoming, like be

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<v Speaker 1>proud in advance of who you are becoming. It's like

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<v Speaker 1>almost again drawing that line in the sand. So we

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<v Speaker 1>do have a choice.

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<v Speaker 3>My friend gave me this analogy the other day about

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<v Speaker 3>something different that we were discussing, and she was talking

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<v Speaker 3>about when you are driving and looking through the big

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<v Speaker 3>windshield up ahead of you, and where you're going and

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<v Speaker 3>all the roads that lie ahead, and it's huge compared

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<v Speaker 3>to the little rear view mirror that's up in the

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<v Speaker 3>top center. That you do get to look behind you,

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<v Speaker 3>but the majority of your drive is spent looking ahead

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<v Speaker 3>and where you're going. And yes, do you need the

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<v Speaker 3>rearview mirror. Absolutely, does it serve you in certain ways, yes,

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<v Speaker 3>but you could not get to a destination by looking

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<v Speaker 3>in the rearview mirror the whole time. And so I

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<v Speaker 3>just like that picture of if you're starting this journey

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<v Speaker 3>towards discovering your true value and your worth, Yeah, there's

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<v Speaker 3>things that are going to be in your rear view mirror,

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<v Speaker 3>for sure, but I just encourage you in this final ingredient,

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<v Speaker 3>with the endorsement you believing in yourself and knowing what

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<v Speaker 3>you're capable of, to look ahead and look at all

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<v Speaker 3>the different roads out there that you're going to get

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<v Speaker 3>to explore on and drive on, and you get to

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<v Speaker 3>make choices and you're going to go this.

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<v Speaker 2>Way or that way.

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<v Speaker 3>But it's sort of like the world is your oyster,

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<v Speaker 3>and there's so much more to offer when you're looking

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<v Speaker 3>through the big windshield instead of through the tiny rearview mirror.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's such a great analogy and such a great picture.

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<v Speaker 1>And just imagine yourself driving and you're like, oh, opportunity ahead,

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<v Speaker 1>opportunity ahead, but you're literally missing them or crashing into

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<v Speaker 1>them because you're so focused on what's in the rear

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<v Speaker 1>view mirror. So a lot of us are being held

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<v Speaker 1>down and held back by shame.

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<v Speaker 2>Resent.

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<v Speaker 1>We're punishing ourselves for what we didn't do. And to that,

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<v Speaker 1>I just say, like, it already happened, you know, And

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<v Speaker 1>again you don't have to like it. But if you're

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<v Speaker 1>constantly looking in the rear view mirror, you're gonna miss

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<v Speaker 1>what's ahead of you. But also the way that you're

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<v Speaker 1>looking in the rear view mirror, if you don't shift

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<v Speaker 1>your gaze and reframe that, you're gonna look in the

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<v Speaker 1>front view mirror the same way. It's not going to

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<v Speaker 1>magically change if you get to a certain weight, gene size, bank,

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<v Speaker 1>balanced relationship status, fill in the blank. And I mean

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<v Speaker 1>that with love.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I say this with love and we've received it.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, love Well Leanne five ingredients.

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<v Speaker 3>It's like a not a hard recipe, but at the

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<v Speaker 3>same time it's a hard recipe because you might have

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<v Speaker 3>to go listen to it over and over or ask

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<v Speaker 3>yourself some of the questions over and over, but eventually

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<v Speaker 3>the cookies are going to come out of the oven

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<v Speaker 3>just right.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And you know, I truly believe that it's a

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<v Speaker 1>recipe that will just always meet you where you are.

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<v Speaker 1>Like again, and don't look at it like a one

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<v Speaker 1>and done thing, you know, I'm always looking at like,

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<v Speaker 1>who do I want to be ten years from now,

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<v Speaker 1>twenty years from now, obviously looking in the in the

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<v Speaker 1>front room view mirror as well, but like it will

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<v Speaker 1>meet you where you are, and it's almost like a

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<v Speaker 1>truth telling recipe of who you want to be. Like

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like sometimes when we look through the goggles

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<v Speaker 1>of things like bank balance or gene size or what

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<v Speaker 1>we ate that day, it's a lie. It lies to us,

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<v Speaker 1>it deceives us, you know. And to me, this is truth,

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<v Speaker 1>this is love, this is grace, this is acceptance, and

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<v Speaker 1>it's a recipe that it will get better over time,

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<v Speaker 1>just like a good chocolate chip cookie recipe.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>And I think I said eventually they'll come out just right.

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<v Speaker 3>And I'm glad you mentioned and too that the work

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<v Speaker 3>is never over though, so eventually you'll have to start

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<v Speaker 3>another batch.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, exactly, and then you'll.

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<v Speaker 3>Figure those out too. I think, yeah, the work is

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<v Speaker 3>never done. It's a journey. I think Ali Fallon had

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<v Speaker 3>said something one time, either on my podcast or hers,

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<v Speaker 3>I can't remember where I heard it, and she was

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<v Speaker 3>talking about how she was in therapy for however long,

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<v Speaker 3>like a very long time, and one of her friends

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<v Speaker 3>said something like, well, maybe it's time you find a

0:10:26.320 --> 0:10:29.280
<v Speaker 3>new therapist, because like, shouldn't you be done with therapy

0:10:29.320 --> 0:10:31.439
<v Speaker 3>by now? And she's like, what, I don't ever want

0:10:31.480 --> 0:10:34.440
<v Speaker 3>to stop working on myself. And so this is just

0:10:34.440 --> 0:10:36.560
<v Speaker 3>something for you to add to your toolbox when it

0:10:36.600 --> 0:10:38.600
<v Speaker 3>comes to working on yourself.

0:10:38.600 --> 0:10:41.199
<v Speaker 2>These five ingredients. Leanne, Where can people find y?

0:10:41.679 --> 0:10:43.880
<v Speaker 1>You can head on over to Leannellington dot com. I'm

0:10:43.920 --> 0:10:46.880
<v Speaker 1>also Leanne Ellington on Instagram and if you want to

0:10:46.920 --> 0:10:50.000
<v Speaker 1>hear all about the inside out, nitty gritty of rewiring

0:10:50.000 --> 0:10:51.839
<v Speaker 1>your brain, you can check out my free master cross

0:10:51.840 --> 0:10:52.440
<v Speaker 1>over there too.

0:10:52.800 --> 0:10:56.400
<v Speaker 3>And I'll brag on Leanne's other podcast. It's called What's

0:10:56.440 --> 0:10:58.920
<v Speaker 3>God Got to Do with It? And she just had

0:10:58.920 --> 0:11:01.000
<v Speaker 3>a really cool note from someone that randomly found her

0:11:01.040 --> 0:11:03.480
<v Speaker 3>podcast that definitely was in a season of life where

0:11:03.640 --> 0:11:06.560
<v Speaker 3>they really needed a podcast like hers, and they were

0:11:06.559 --> 0:11:08.120
<v Speaker 3>wrestling with some stuff we still don't know.

0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:08.880
<v Speaker 2>Lanna and I were talking.

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<v Speaker 3>I wonder how they even found you, but they were

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<v Speaker 3>so excited because they're part of this other group and

0:11:13.360 --> 0:11:15.760
<v Speaker 3>they're like, Oh, this podcast is really going to help

0:11:16.080 --> 0:11:18.160
<v Speaker 3>some of my other peers, and I'm going to share

0:11:18.160 --> 0:11:18.680
<v Speaker 3>it with them.

0:11:18.920 --> 0:11:20.120
<v Speaker 2>And it's just.

0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:22.840
<v Speaker 3>Really cool sometimes how people stumble upon some of the

0:11:22.880 --> 0:11:24.880
<v Speaker 3>work that you're doing, whether it's a podcast or maybe

0:11:24.920 --> 0:11:27.880
<v Speaker 3>a blog that you have, or maybe you're listening and

0:11:27.920 --> 0:11:30.760
<v Speaker 3>you've a talk you put up somewhere, or a book

0:11:30.800 --> 0:11:34.240
<v Speaker 3>you've written or whatever. It's just interesting sometimes. Maybe even

0:11:34.320 --> 0:11:36.720
<v Speaker 3>those of you listening to outweigh right now how you

0:11:36.760 --> 0:11:38.680
<v Speaker 3>got here. Maybe you don't even know, but we're glad

0:11:38.720 --> 0:11:42.520
<v Speaker 3>you're here. And I'm at Radio AM on Socials and

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<v Speaker 3>we'll see you next Saturday.

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<v Speaker 2>Bye bye,