Speaker 1: I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
Speaker 1: I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
Speaker 2: I'm learning love who I am.
Speaker 1: I get, I'm strong, I feel free, I know every
Speaker 1: part of me.
Speaker 3: It's beautiful.
Speaker 1: And that will always out way if you feel it
Speaker 1: but your hands and there she'll some love to the
Speaker 1: h I get. That's take you one day and did
Speaker 1: you and die out way?
Speaker 2: Happy Saturday outweigh Amy here?
Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, It's Leanne and.
Speaker 3: We're to the final ingredients of our finding your True
Speaker 3: Value and Worth cookie that we're making.
Speaker 2: And the question is do you know your true value
Speaker 2: and worth?
Speaker 3: And hopefully as you've worked through each of these ingredients
Speaker 3: the last five Saturdays or today's day five, you know
Speaker 3: you'll have a better understanding of what it'll like for
Speaker 3: you to work towards knowing your worth and your value
Speaker 3: and so ingredient five is your version of self endorsement, Nellian,
Speaker 3: What does that mean?
Speaker 1: You'll notice there's so much crossover even what we talked
Speaker 1: about last week with self worth. But we're wired to
Speaker 1: just care what other people think about us. You know,
Speaker 1: we are I care what you think about me? Amy,
Speaker 1: That's and I'm unapologetic about it because I'm human, right,
Speaker 1: and you care what people think about you. It's just
Speaker 1: how we're wired. But what happens is is when we
Speaker 1: don't have a sense of self and we don't feel
Speaker 1: what I call self endorse like ability to see the
Speaker 1: value and worthiness in ourselves, and we're so dependent on
Speaker 1: getting it from other people. When it's so out of
Speaker 1: balance like that, it can be really harmful. And so
Speaker 1: this idea of self endorsement is again, it's not even
Speaker 1: possible to not care what other people think about you.
Speaker 1: But what is possible is for you to elevate how
Speaker 1: you care and what you think and how you value
Speaker 1: yourself and the way you see and perceive yourself and
Speaker 1: be your own champion and be your own supporter and
Speaker 1: not in this kind of You know a lot of
Speaker 1: people think, well, is that is that cocky? Is that condescending?
Speaker 1: Is that braggadocious? Is it vain? You know? And I say, no,
Speaker 1: that your self endorse self just knows who you are.
Speaker 1: You're unapologetic about it. But then we talked about this
Speaker 1: distinction last week too, about desire versus require. It's like, yes,
Speaker 1: absolutely desire that people also see the beauty and the
Speaker 1: value in who you are, but not solely relying on
Speaker 1: it to feel it for yourself, being able to self
Speaker 1: endorse self, you know, validate almost not exclusively, but primarily,
Speaker 1: and it will create so much more resilience in you.
Speaker 1: It will enrich your relationship with yourself, enrich your relationship
Speaker 1: with others. You'll be able to actually receive compliments and
Speaker 1: endorsement from other people because it's aligned with how you
Speaker 1: perceive yourself. So really it's a self perception conversation.
Speaker 3: I'm just picturing someone finally getting the hang of this
Speaker 3: me included, and like hearing someone say something back to
Speaker 3: them that they already recognize in themselves and receive it
Speaker 3: and just be like, yeah, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely totally. Yep, I've read received that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's sounds that right. I've been working on that,
Speaker 2: thank you for sure.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And it's compartmentalized, and it's such a journey, Like I
Speaker 1: don't want anybody think it's this like one and done thing.
Speaker 1: I mean, you remember, Amy, a few weeks ago, I
Speaker 1: came to you and we were experiencing something and something
Speaker 1: happened in my life and I was sharing with you
Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't have a muscle for this,
Speaker 1: so I'm not self endorsed in this capacity, like I'm
Speaker 1: self endorsed in this area of my life, been in
Speaker 1: this I'm not. So I'm still figuring out what self
Speaker 1: endorsement right now in this capacity, and this circumstance looks
Speaker 1: like and giving ourselves permission to be coachable and imperfect
Speaker 1: and on a journey and never like this. I believe
Speaker 1: mastery is this lifelong conversation, so you know, and finding
Speaker 1: next levels of yourself, like what do they say, new level,
Speaker 1: new devils, So as you're going to the next level
Speaker 1: of your life and new challenges, you might have to
Speaker 1: find that next level of endorsement. But it's available to you.
Speaker 1: But again, it will never be found in Oh. I
Speaker 1: hope that when I get to a certain weight, then
Speaker 1: I'll finally see the beauty of who I am. And
Speaker 1: I hope when you know somebody else thinks I'm cool,
Speaker 1: then I'll finally feel cool. No, you've got to be
Speaker 1: able to generate that within yourself.
Speaker 3: I feel like you have to be your biggest cheerleader,
Speaker 3: and that's not always easy. But I'm like even picturing,
Speaker 3: like inside my head little cheerleaders with their little pom poms,
Speaker 3: and sometimes they have to like congratulate me, or when
Speaker 3: I do something well, I try to acknowledge it and
Speaker 3: exercise that muscle. So therefore it feels more natural and
Speaker 3: more normal. Like you were saying, it's not a bragging thing.
Speaker 3: It doesn't even have to be out loud. You could
Speaker 3: be in your journal or just inside your head with
Speaker 3: your little cheerleaders. But that's how I picture it, or
Speaker 3: how I've had to ever since. I mean Land once
Speaker 3: gave me homework to, you know, just sort of brag
Speaker 3: about myself in my journal or write down all the
Speaker 3: things that you've done well this week and that you're.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what are you doing well? What are you proud of?
Speaker 3: And I journaled through that, and I think that that's
Speaker 3: when the little little cheerlead in my head had to
Speaker 3: show up to be like, Okay.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we can do this right well.
Speaker 1: Our brains are wired towards something called a negativity bias.
Speaker 1: So it is just as our brains are wired, we
Speaker 1: are wired to look for what we're not doing, who
Speaker 1: we're not being, what's not working all of that. It's
Speaker 1: also you know, any of us that are high achieving
Speaker 1: and we're go getters. Like again, you might be waking
Speaker 1: up thinking like what did I not get done on
Speaker 1: my to do list? Like what where am I behind?
Speaker 1: And that's okay, but that's why it's also important. So
Speaker 1: it's not like those those negative air quotes, negative voices
Speaker 1: or critical voices are going to just magically go away, right,
Speaker 1: But what we want to do is we want to
Speaker 1: build us a part of our self image that shows
Speaker 1: up with little pomp poms, you know, like our little
Speaker 1: cheerleader with pomp poms in the face of those other
Speaker 1: parts of us where we might be looking at where
Speaker 1: what we're not doing, or who we're not being, or
Speaker 1: what we're not proud of. Right, But then it's also
Speaker 1: a matter of like this reframing can be really powerful.
Speaker 1: So for example, if anybody is listening to this and
Speaker 1: they have toxic shame about their past, you know, maybe
Speaker 1: what they where they think they should be by now,
Speaker 1: or what they're not doing, or something that happened to them.
Speaker 1: And I'm not telling you to go paint roses and
Speaker 1: butterflies over things that really cause you pain. But sometimes
Speaker 1: I can look at the pain and I can say,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm so proud of who I showed
Speaker 1: up as in the face of that pain or despite
Speaker 1: what happened to me or that traumatic experience in my life.
Speaker 1: I'm so proud of the version of myself I went
Speaker 1: and like, you know, gritted my way to become so
Speaker 1: that that didn't happen again, or I was better prepared
Speaker 1: to handle it. And so again it's a choice, and
Speaker 1: it's almost a reframe. But even the same data, the
Speaker 1: same set of circumstances, we could look at where we
Speaker 1: you know, let ourselves down or where we air quotes
Speaker 1: regret things. But again, does that serve us, like can
Speaker 1: we reframe it and be like, you know what, I
Speaker 1: don't have to like that that just happened. In fact,
Speaker 1: it can outright suck. But I'm really proud of this part,
Speaker 1: or I'm proud of who I am becoming, like be
Speaker 1: proud in advance of who you are becoming. It's like
Speaker 1: almost again drawing that line in the sand. So we
Speaker 1: do have a choice.
Speaker 3: My friend gave me this analogy the other day about
Speaker 3: something different that we were discussing, and she was talking
Speaker 3: about when you are driving and looking through the big
Speaker 3: windshield up ahead of you, and where you're going and
Speaker 3: all the roads that lie ahead, and it's huge compared
Speaker 3: to the little rear view mirror that's up in the
Speaker 3: top center. That you do get to look behind you,
Speaker 3: but the majority of your drive is spent looking ahead
Speaker 3: and where you're going. And yes, do you need the
Speaker 3: rearview mirror. Absolutely, does it serve you in certain ways, yes,
Speaker 3: but you could not get to a destination by looking
Speaker 3: in the rearview mirror the whole time. And so I
Speaker 3: just like that picture of if you're starting this journey
Speaker 3: towards discovering your true value and your worth, Yeah, there's
Speaker 3: things that are going to be in your rear view mirror,
Speaker 3: for sure, but I just encourage you in this final ingredient,
Speaker 3: with the endorsement you believing in yourself and knowing what
Speaker 3: you're capable of, to look ahead and look at all
Speaker 3: the different roads out there that you're going to get
Speaker 3: to explore on and drive on, and you get to
Speaker 3: make choices and you're going to go this.
Speaker 2: Way or that way.
Speaker 3: But it's sort of like the world is your oyster,
Speaker 3: and there's so much more to offer when you're looking
Speaker 3: through the big windshield instead of through the tiny rearview mirror.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's such a great analogy and such a great picture.
Speaker 1: And just imagine yourself driving and you're like, oh, opportunity ahead,
Speaker 1: opportunity ahead, but you're literally missing them or crashing into
Speaker 1: them because you're so focused on what's in the rear
Speaker 1: view mirror. So a lot of us are being held
Speaker 1: down and held back by shame.
Speaker 2: Resent.
Speaker 1: We're punishing ourselves for what we didn't do. And to that,
Speaker 1: I just say, like, it already happened, you know, And
Speaker 1: again you don't have to like it. But if you're
Speaker 1: constantly looking in the rear view mirror, you're gonna miss
Speaker 1: what's ahead of you. But also the way that you're
Speaker 1: looking in the rear view mirror, if you don't shift
Speaker 1: your gaze and reframe that, you're gonna look in the
Speaker 1: front view mirror the same way. It's not going to
Speaker 1: magically change if you get to a certain weight, gene size, bank,
Speaker 1: balanced relationship status, fill in the blank. And I mean
Speaker 1: that with love.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I say this with love and we've received it.
Speaker 2: Yes, love Well Leanne five ingredients.
Speaker 3: It's like a not a hard recipe, but at the
Speaker 3: same time it's a hard recipe because you might have
Speaker 3: to go listen to it over and over or ask
Speaker 3: yourself some of the questions over and over, but eventually
Speaker 3: the cookies are going to come out of the oven
Speaker 3: just right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And you know, I truly believe that it's a
Speaker 1: recipe that will just always meet you where you are.
Speaker 1: Like again, and don't look at it like a one
Speaker 1: and done thing, you know, I'm always looking at like,
Speaker 1: who do I want to be ten years from now,
Speaker 1: twenty years from now, obviously looking in the in the
Speaker 1: front room view mirror as well, but like it will
Speaker 1: meet you where you are, and it's almost like a
Speaker 1: truth telling recipe of who you want to be. Like
Speaker 1: I feel like sometimes when we look through the goggles
Speaker 1: of things like bank balance or gene size or what
Speaker 1: we ate that day, it's a lie. It lies to us,
Speaker 1: it deceives us, you know. And to me, this is truth,
Speaker 1: this is love, this is grace, this is acceptance, and
Speaker 1: it's a recipe that it will get better over time,
Speaker 1: just like a good chocolate chip cookie recipe.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I think I said eventually they'll come out just right.
Speaker 3: And I'm glad you mentioned and too that the work
Speaker 3: is never over though, so eventually you'll have to start
Speaker 3: another batch.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, and then you'll.
Speaker 3: Figure those out too. I think, yeah, the work is
Speaker 3: never done. It's a journey. I think Ali Fallon had
Speaker 3: said something one time, either on my podcast or hers,
Speaker 3: I can't remember where I heard it, and she was
Speaker 3: talking about how she was in therapy for however long,
Speaker 3: like a very long time, and one of her friends
Speaker 3: said something like, well, maybe it's time you find a
Speaker 3: new therapist, because like, shouldn't you be done with therapy
Speaker 3: by now? And she's like, what, I don't ever want
Speaker 3: to stop working on myself. And so this is just
Speaker 3: something for you to add to your toolbox when it
Speaker 3: comes to working on yourself.
Speaker 2: These five ingredients. Leanne, Where can people find y?
Speaker 1: You can head on over to Leannellington dot com. I'm
Speaker 1: also Leanne Ellington on Instagram and if you want to
Speaker 1: hear all about the inside out, nitty gritty of rewiring
Speaker 1: your brain, you can check out my free master cross
Speaker 1: over there too.
Speaker 3: And I'll brag on Leanne's other podcast. It's called What's
Speaker 3: God Got to Do with It? And she just had
Speaker 3: a really cool note from someone that randomly found her
Speaker 3: podcast that definitely was in a season of life where
Speaker 3: they really needed a podcast like hers, and they were
Speaker 3: wrestling with some stuff we still don't know.
Speaker 2: Lanna and I were talking.
Speaker 3: I wonder how they even found you, but they were
Speaker 3: so excited because they're part of this other group and
Speaker 3: they're like, Oh, this podcast is really going to help
Speaker 3: some of my other peers, and I'm going to share
Speaker 3: it with them.
Speaker 2: And it's just.
Speaker 3: Really cool sometimes how people stumble upon some of the
Speaker 3: work that you're doing, whether it's a podcast or maybe
Speaker 3: a blog that you have, or maybe you're listening and
Speaker 3: you've a talk you put up somewhere, or a book
Speaker 3: you've written or whatever. It's just interesting sometimes. Maybe even
Speaker 3: those of you listening to outweigh right now how you
Speaker 3: got here. Maybe you don't even know, but we're glad
Speaker 3: you're here. And I'm at Radio AM on Socials and
Speaker 3: we'll see you next Saturday.
Speaker 2: Bye bye,