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Speaker 1: Wind Down with Jannah Kramer and I Heart Radio podcast.

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Speaker 1: So excited to wind down today. So much to talk about.

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Speaker 1: We have so much. We have some great topics that

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Speaker 1: I wrote down in my I have some great topics

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Speaker 1: that I wrote down on my phone. Sounds like it

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Speaker 1: was a busy week. It was. Let me just start

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Speaker 1: by saying this. Michael and I have why have a

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Speaker 1: YouTube channel that we have a series that we're doing

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Speaker 1: called Have a Seat with Jan and Mike and so

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Speaker 1: we um get emails from people and we answer, we

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Speaker 1: answer the questions. And I learned a lot about my

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Speaker 1: husband this past one. Yeah, like what he doesn't believe

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Speaker 1: in soulmates? What I don't exactly. I don't believe that

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Speaker 1: there's one person in this world that is meant for you.

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Speaker 1: But do you believe in I believe in multiple soulmates.

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Speaker 1: You can have friends who are soulmates. You can have

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Speaker 1: you know, a deal with certain lovers that you have

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Speaker 1: made this deal to learn this lesson and grow with

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Speaker 1: and then you move on and there might be another soulmate.

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Speaker 1: So I believe in multiple. So you believe in multiple

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Speaker 1: and you don't believe in soulmates at all? Well, my

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Speaker 1: whole thing. The whole stigma in my mind is soulmatee

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Speaker 1: is there's one person for you? And that's why yes,

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Speaker 1: I'm saying and when I say yesterday I said we're

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Speaker 1: meant to be. Absolutely we're meant to be. Then what's

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Speaker 1: the difference between meant to be in soulmate? Because then

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Speaker 1: I just my whole thing is that I feel like

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Speaker 1: the expects I feel like the expectation. You're setting expectations

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Speaker 1: so high where you might meet someone great and maybe

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Speaker 1: they don't check one box and then all of a sudden,

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Speaker 1: people are like, oh, they can't be my soul mate

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Speaker 1: because my soulmate would have these characteristics. I feel like

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Speaker 1: people are just setting their expectations by looking for one

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Speaker 1: person out there as opposed to seeing what's in front

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Speaker 1: of them and being and not being blinded by their

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Speaker 1: high expectations. Is being like, Wow, this person is amazing, right,

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Speaker 1: but that's your one. Why can't the one slash be

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Speaker 1: your soulmate? I think that's what it's trying to say.

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Speaker 1: Soul mate at this moment, well, that's what she probably

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Speaker 1: have multiple soul mates. I feel like your soul mate

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Speaker 1: is the one. I feel like there are lots of

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Speaker 1: different people that you can be with. Obviously, we've all

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Speaker 1: been in different relationships. There's I think there's different people

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Speaker 1: for possibly different seasons. But I believe your soul mate,

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Speaker 1: slash the one is the one that you stay with,

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Speaker 1: the one that you like. For example, my mother, she

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Speaker 1: was married to my father for twenty something years. Was

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Speaker 1: that her soul mate? No, it was the one that

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Speaker 1: during that season and she was meant to have kids.

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Speaker 1: But her soul mate, her one is the one that's

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Speaker 1: she's married to now that's going that they're going to

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Speaker 1: be together forever, and that's her twin flame, not her

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Speaker 1: soul mate. But this is the same, right, twin flame

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Speaker 1: is very different. No, Lobster's Friends is fens twinlame different.

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Speaker 1: What's twin twin flames is what your mom's experience. Now,

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Speaker 1: Like that's really meant to be. You are twin flames

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Speaker 1: burning the same candle in the same pace, and you

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Speaker 1: guys are really say, I think that's the same definition

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Speaker 1: of a soul mate. Like I think if you stay

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Speaker 1: with me, Michael, that you were my soul mate. I

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Speaker 1: thought I've had other soulmates, but those people left, right,

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Speaker 1: But that's the thing. It's it's all You'll think they're

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Speaker 1: your soul mate. Then all of a sudden something happens,

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Speaker 1: they must not be my soul mate. And then you

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Speaker 1: find another person. Oh I really like this person there

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Speaker 1: soul mate, And so people just say the next the

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Speaker 1: next three thing is their soul mate. Okay, we're married

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Speaker 1: right now. So you still don't think I'm your soul mate.

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Speaker 1: I think we're meant to be. What is the difference.

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Speaker 1: It's just like turning you. I'm ready to this, but

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Speaker 1: I don't understand what the different Like I'm truly at like,

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Speaker 1: what is the difference. So now you're saying there are

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Speaker 1: multiple soulmates, I'm not saying there's multiple there's multiple people

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Speaker 1: in seasons, yes, I think, but your true soulmate, so

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Speaker 1: I think there could be multiple ones. But you're true

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Speaker 1: soul mate is the person that stays with you, that

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Speaker 1: is with you till the end, you fight through stuff,

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Speaker 1: you don't leave when stuff gets hard and you fight.

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Speaker 1: That is your soul mate. You are living with your

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Speaker 1: with your mate and your souls together, and we are

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Speaker 1: doing that. But people's I'm just saying people's idea and

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Speaker 1: your soul mate, yes or no. We need a soul

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Speaker 1: mate expert. People's idea of soul mate is that there's

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Speaker 1: one person one not multiple soul mates. One person out

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Speaker 1: there form right, I'm you're one person. Yes, But I'm

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Speaker 1: saying you've even said yourself, Yeah, I've thought I've had

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Speaker 1: multiple soul mates. I thought before, just like I thought

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Speaker 1: they were the love of my life. They weren't just

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Speaker 1: like I thought. I was saying. That's all I'm saying

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Speaker 1: is that it's ever changed. I didn't. So the next person,

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Speaker 1: I know you always like to say this and be

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Speaker 1: you always like to say, well, Mike, if we get divorced,

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Speaker 1: so I'm going to play that card. If we got divorced,

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Speaker 1: there for me, then then the next person is your

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Speaker 1: soul mate. So it's just everyone, he's a soul mate.

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Speaker 1: You're so mate everyone. It's like, when does it stop?

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Speaker 1: Come on? When you are with the person for life,

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Speaker 1: your twin flame, Yeah, twin flame experts. So if we

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Speaker 1: were to be together till the end, you were truly

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Speaker 1: my soul mate, And on my deathbed, I'll write in

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Speaker 1: my little note like I love you were my soul mate,

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Speaker 1: and then I'm you know gonna die and you're gonna

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Speaker 1: be like, man, I wish I would have told her

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Speaker 1: that she was my soulmate. That took a really dead time.

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Speaker 1: I see the movie right now. You might just tell me.

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Speaker 1: You can tell her when you go upstairs. I just

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Speaker 1: don't know what the difference mean. I mean, if you

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Speaker 1: if you can honestly look at me right now and

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Speaker 1: say that I'm not your soul mate, slash the one,

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Speaker 1: you're my wife and you're the one I meant to

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Speaker 1: be with. I need the term. I need to know

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Speaker 1: I'm mate. This is going to drive her stil nuts

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Speaker 1: so mad by Janna. If she really likes a meal,

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Speaker 1: like something really good definitely not Tahita, And if you

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Speaker 1: definitely and she wants you to try bye, if you

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Speaker 1: say no, she'll get like highs within anxiety and she's

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Speaker 1: like you have to try this. I'm like, I know

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Speaker 1: it's so good. Were and I was eating the most

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Speaker 1: incredible cech ever and I think it was so good

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Speaker 1: and I was like, honey, we please try. But he's like, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm good. I was like, can you please try it?

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Speaker 1: Buy it because I just know how good it was.

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Speaker 1: She takes it personal, like she made it. She's like,

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Speaker 1: please try this. I knew how much you love it.

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Speaker 1: And guess what did he order? Like five more the

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Speaker 1: entire time we were there, it was fantastic. But the

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Speaker 1: point was for a twenty minutes she was like, couldn't

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Speaker 1: sit still, like just try it, just place, try it.

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Speaker 1: And then he's like, well try this. I was like, no,

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Speaker 1: I'm good. But for some reason, when I want someone

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Speaker 1: to try something because I know that they're going to

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Speaker 1: like it, it really it physically gives me hives and

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Speaker 1: I started to get anxiety. I was so she feel

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Speaker 1: this way about me not saying the soul mate, well,

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Speaker 1: it just it just makes me sad that, like you

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Speaker 1: don't think that I'm your the one and you're you're

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Speaker 1: the one I'm meant to be with what I would

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Speaker 1: google airplane writing words over homes and like, Janna, you're

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Speaker 1: my soul mate. He doesn't, really, I'm not your soul mate.

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Speaker 1: It's obviously I'm going to keep looking for my soul mate.

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Speaker 1: So if anyone wants to be my soul mate, email

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Speaker 1: me at Janne Kramer. I hurt me. I'm gonna find

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Speaker 1: myself a soul mate. Next topic, what else what else. Oh,

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Speaker 1: we've just turned the dateline. Um, so the next thing

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Speaker 1: is when we were doing our little half a seat. Um,

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Speaker 1: I'm fine. On YouTube, my husband says, So here here's

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Speaker 1: the deal. I went to therapy and I've just been

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Speaker 1: very overwhelmed. We have a new baby coming obviously in

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Speaker 1: less than seven weeks, and it's fast approaching, and I

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Speaker 1: get very overwhelmed with things. I have a very hard

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Speaker 1: time delegate. I love actually I love delegating, but I

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Speaker 1: have a very hard time asking for help. So my

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Speaker 1: pist encouraged me to ask for help. More So I

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Speaker 1: wrote a honey to do list, and I said, and

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Speaker 1: I put on there too when I would like it done,

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Speaker 1: because I want things done yesterday. But you know, a

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Speaker 1: dollhouse on this We'll get there later, because that's a

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Speaker 1: great point too. No, it was not on there, but

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Speaker 1: so I said, you know, please have all the trash

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Speaker 1: taken out by the end of the month. Uh, clean

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Speaker 1: up the backyard. Um, you know, sometime this week would

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Speaker 1: be nice, please. And there was a few things with

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Speaker 1: the kids that I was having. I need we need

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Speaker 1: to transfer some of Jolie's medical stuff, and I said,

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Speaker 1: please call her doctor's places and get her files sometime

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Speaker 1: before this date that we're going to the new doctor

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Speaker 1: at just things that like I didn't I wanted to

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Speaker 1: alleviate off of my plate. And he says to me, Michael,

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Speaker 1: I said, okay. No. First of all, I said, okay,

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Speaker 1: that's not the first thing you said when you gave

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Speaker 1: me the list. How long is the list? There was

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Speaker 1: like four things? What did I say? You were like like,

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Speaker 1: right now, you have to give this to me. Well, again,

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Speaker 1: it's like timing. I was in the middle of I

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Speaker 1: was in the middle of doing something, okay, and she's

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Speaker 1: and it's just like I hate when I get overloaded too.

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Speaker 1: So it's like I'm in the middle of doing something,

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Speaker 1: taking care of something, and then she hands me this list,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like like right now, like you're gonna hand

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Speaker 1: this when I'm in the middle of like doing some

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Speaker 1: work or whatever it was I was doing, Like, you're

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Speaker 1: gonna hand this to me. So it's all about timing

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Speaker 1: for me, okay. But then he says, well, where is

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Speaker 1: your honey to do list? So his question when she posed,

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Speaker 1: so he said that that one day and I kind

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Speaker 1: of let it go until last night when we're doing

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Speaker 1: our have a seat. He goes, I have a question.

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Speaker 1: Why don't the guys ever wady honey to do list

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Speaker 1: for the white serious? Her eyes just not. I was

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Speaker 1: of her. I said, has a guy we can watch

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Speaker 1: this video? Prooved? I said, has a guy ever given

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Speaker 1: his wife honey to do the list? He'd be? I

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Speaker 1: didn't say why don't? I said, I didn't say why

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Speaker 1: don't guys? I said, has a guy ever done that?

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Speaker 1: What would you put on a list? Mike? Stuff? We

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Speaker 1: want you get done what? It's already all? Thank you?

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Speaker 1: There just not coming. He's like, you're on your own. Pa.

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Speaker 1: Have I not done that? You would like to put

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Speaker 1: on the honey to do list for your wife? Go ahead? Mike,

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Speaker 1: you have the floor, everyone's listening. What do you want

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Speaker 1: to put on there? By the way, I'm serious here

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Speaker 1: you you you asked and post a question. I would

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Speaker 1: like to know what you want me to do on

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Speaker 1: top of everything else that I do, that you want

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Speaker 1: on that list? Go ahead? I didn't come prepared exactly

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Speaker 1: what I would like you to do? Is this is

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Speaker 1: a joke. If you even pick up after yourself, excuse me?

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Speaker 1: Is um? I don't know what because that's already all done.

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Speaker 1: It's already all done. She leaves stuff around the house.

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Speaker 1: What you know what it's I'm so sorry. I'm literally

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Speaker 1: going to throw this pen right in your eyeball. But

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Speaker 1: you and it told me one time that I sometimes

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Speaker 1: leave my shoes around the house. I have done a

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Speaker 1: very good job to make sure to put my shoes away.

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Speaker 1: What else have I left around the house? You leave

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Speaker 1: things and things that shouldn't that aren't. Like I have

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Speaker 1: this cute little candle thing and he puts his coins

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Speaker 1: in there, and I'm like, this is not yours. I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: be careful when you walk into our house because you're

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Speaker 1: gonna walk into about two dozen half drinking Lacroix cans

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Speaker 1: everywhere pregnant, so that stops you from throwing them away.

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Speaker 1: Please counsel us right now. I'm just hoping that you

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Speaker 1: both you drove separately here today, trust me, did no.

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Speaker 1: I just is just so many things that I do

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Speaker 1: and that wives do that you don't know that we

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Speaker 1: even do. For example, like we talked about, we don't

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Speaker 1: have to keep it. You know what, I'm going to

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Speaker 1: say this to all the women out there, all the wives,

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Speaker 1: all the girlfriends, everything Leslie. You know me, girl, and

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Speaker 1: I got you right now. For the next week, don't

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Speaker 1: touch anything, don't do anything. The world will fall apart.

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Speaker 1: Give it another week. Your life is like Lee. I'm

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Speaker 1: not challenging you, just I'm challenging the women to stop. Stop,

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Speaker 1: go on strike. Pick up the kids stuff, don't do

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Speaker 1: don't do the laundry, don't fold their clothes, don't put

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Speaker 1: away there they're over there. I will give Michael that

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Speaker 1: he does. We do a very good job of like

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Speaker 1: doing the dishosher and doing those like household chores. I

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Speaker 1: will give him that. But when it comes to the

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Speaker 1: kids stuff, the planning, and you know, all the things

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Speaker 1: that I that up for the new baby, you know what,

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Speaker 1: I'm just not going to do anything anymore. And I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna see and you always will you do it before me. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'll see if you even think of something, the things

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Speaker 1: that actually need to be taking place. I'm heated. I'm

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Speaker 1: on strike, ladies and gentlemen. You're gonna have a lot

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Speaker 1: of I mean, what else are you going to do? Right, honey?

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Speaker 1: So can you guys explain to me? Um? I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: email Watermelon now the giant dollhouse that's been constructed that

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Speaker 1: looks like a guest house. We were we were talking

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Speaker 1: about Christmas ideas. It's actually a guest room in the

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Speaker 1: back since our son is taking our third bedroom here,

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Speaker 1: it's actually the guest room. So my we were looking

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Speaker 1: at our backyard and we realized that the playgrounds that

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Speaker 1: that we got for Jolie last Christmas, she's completely outground.

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Speaker 1: She doesn't been stand in anymore. She's she's too she's

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Speaker 1: too big for it. She doesn't even go in it.

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Speaker 1: So I started looking at dollhouses online and they're very expensive.

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Speaker 1: They're like two grand up, like they're real nice wooden ones.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, hey, honey, I was thinking about

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Speaker 1: buying this for Jolie for Christmas, because, as you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm already on top of things for what we should

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Speaker 1: get our daughter for Christmas, three months ahead, three months

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Speaker 1: ahead of thinking. He's just ugly staring, he was giving

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Speaker 1: so anyways, so I said, and he so we're we're

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Speaker 1: building right now a house in Nashville. Okay, so we're

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Speaker 1: gonna we're yes, we're making our our our move back

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Speaker 1: to nash sometime next year. And he wants a work

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Speaker 1: bench so this is a little offside moment. He wants

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Speaker 1: a work bench in his garage, and I said, why

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Speaker 1: do you want to work bench? You don't build anything

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Speaker 1: like you don't He's I've never You still need a

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Speaker 1: place in new cabinets. You need to work bench. You

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Speaker 1: need stuff, even if it's a household stuff. And you

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Speaker 1: fix something, you gotta have a place to do it.

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Speaker 1: You don't do it on the kitchen counter. But like

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Speaker 1: I grew up, you have a workbench, garage, you got cadas,

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Speaker 1: you got tools, that's what you three years, I've never

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Speaker 1: seen him do anything on the workbench that we had

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Speaker 1: at the old house. He might have put like a

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Speaker 1: little like nail, like those little nail things that you

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Speaker 1: put for you know, hanging a paint tang. I was like,

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Speaker 1: you've never done anything handy, right, So he's like we're

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Speaker 1: circling background. He's like, well, what if I make her

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Speaker 1: a doll house? And I was like, you can't make

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Speaker 1: her a dollhouse, Like there's no way. And he's like,

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Speaker 1: if I make her a dollhouse, can I get my

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Speaker 1: work bench in the house. And I said, fine, if

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Speaker 1: you can prove to me that you can actually make

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Speaker 1: a dollhouse. So cut to the next day he was

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Speaker 1: at home depot and he got all this would and

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Speaker 1: go ahead and Michael, yeah, So again, just because Jeanna

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Speaker 1: hasn't seen me physically do any of this, you know,

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Speaker 1: carpentry or manual labor or anything like that, because we

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Speaker 1: haven't had to. But there's nothing we've had to build

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Speaker 1: or do anything like that. Because she hasn't seen it

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Speaker 1: first hand, she doesn't think I'm handy. So I'm like,

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Speaker 1: all right, after shut it off real quick. Because I

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Speaker 1: grew up building stuff with my dad all the time,

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Speaker 1: we built dex we built sheds. I've done it all.

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Speaker 1: And so I was like, all right, well, challenge accepted.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna show you that I am. So I went

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Speaker 1: up the necessary tools, got the lumber, and I'm building

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Speaker 1: it myself. And she and she even asked me like

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Speaker 1: I was putting space in between the four boards. She's like,

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Speaker 1: how do you know how to do that? I was like,

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Speaker 1: because I know how to do this. You look like

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Speaker 1: a total pro. You have that triangle metal thing and

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Speaker 1: you have a pencil out and you're like, well, producer

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Speaker 1: Amy texted me and she goes, let's talk about the

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Speaker 1: fact that your husband's wearing a tool belt, but it

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Speaker 1: looks like nothing's actually in the tool belt walking around

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Speaker 1: with an empty toolbottle. Which is really funny that you

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Speaker 1: guys went on date night. You were working on it,

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Speaker 1: you went on date night, and then all of a sudden,

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Speaker 1: it's like I was like, is he kneeling stuff together?

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Speaker 1: At midnight? Yeah? I felt like we're going to come

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Speaker 1: home after like a really nice, nice date night and

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Speaker 1: we're going to cuddle him, bead and have a little

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Speaker 1: like into mistech. No, No, he went back out to

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Speaker 1: the dollhouse to start. Yeah. I was like, not the

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Speaker 1: way that I wanted to end the night. But it's

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Speaker 1: just she, I mean, she lit a fire under me

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Speaker 1: and on now, all I want to do is just

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Speaker 1: get that done and show her improved to her like

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Speaker 1: that I am handy and I know how to do

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Speaker 1: these things. I mean, it's like a two story like

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Speaker 1: dollhouse and it's building him. It's it's eight ft by

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Speaker 1: eight feet okay, um one and a half Okay. I

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Speaker 1: will say, I'm really impressed by you. I'm impressed that

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Speaker 1: you haven't quit yet. I'm not going to like, what

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Speaker 1: are you going to are you going to use um

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Speaker 1: real what are those called shingles or tile? What is

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Speaker 1: that singles? I've been decided yet still it's like sliding

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Speaker 1: windows or um Yeah, probably probably remote remote windows a

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Speaker 1: power outside. This is like you guys are going to

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Speaker 1: have to move it. We're gonna know we have to.

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Speaker 1: And I will say, I'm, I'm it's really cute to

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Speaker 1: see Jolie and him there were come together, So I

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Speaker 1: was like, this is really cute. Yeah, And I will

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Speaker 1: say like I was coming home yesterday from home depot

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Speaker 1: and as maybe hokey as it sounds, I was carrying

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Speaker 1: some more lumber into the backyard and I just had

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Speaker 1: a moment where I felt extremely grateful and kind of

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Speaker 1: reflected on the past couple of years, what we've been through,

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Speaker 1: where we've been. I was like, how awesome is this

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Speaker 1: that I'm in the place I am getting to build

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Speaker 1: my daughter like this dollhouse, and because I'm pregnant in

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Speaker 1: the house that we share together as a family. It

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Speaker 1: just I had a moment yesterday. I wanted to share

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Speaker 1: it with Jannah and I meant to yesterday but we

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Speaker 1: got busy. But but yeah, I felt that I was like,

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Speaker 1: this is the best feeling ever, Like, if there's any

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Speaker 1: kind of healthy behavior like this is it. That's really sweet?

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Speaker 1: It was cool, that's cool. I'm sorry if everything is

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Speaker 1: that during this podcast and I think you and I

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Speaker 1: think you're so great and you can write me honey

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Speaker 1: to do list if you want. Thank you know that's sweet,

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Speaker 1: and I'm just it's yeah, it's it's the healthy behavior

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Speaker 1: and you're You're just I'm really proud of you. I'm

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Speaker 1: excited to see the Stallhouse come together. So I'm really

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Speaker 1: excited about this thing that I just learned about. It's

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Speaker 1: called legacy Box. I have so many photos that are

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Speaker 1: I mean albums and albums which I miss honestly today

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Speaker 1: in this day and age, but you know, from childhood,

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Speaker 1: my parents have so many pictures in their garage and

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00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:24,040
Speaker 1: on all these books and they're just kind of sitting

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00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,080
Speaker 1: there and I never do you ever get to see yours.

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Speaker 1: I mean, they're in a they're just in a box.

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Speaker 1: So it's taking up space, um first and foremost, but

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Speaker 1: then also I kind of want to be able to

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Speaker 1: have it all in one thing. So that's why I'm

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Speaker 1: really excited about legacy box because all you have to

374
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,520
Speaker 1: do is send your legacy box filled with old home

375
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,280
Speaker 1: movies and pictures and they'll they'll do the rest. So

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Speaker 1: they put your moments on thumb drive, digital download or DVD.

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00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:55,280
Speaker 1: Legacy boxes the world's largest, most trusted digitizer of home

378
00:19:55,359 --> 00:19:57,280
Speaker 1: movies and photos. I think we should do that, don't

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Speaker 1: you think? Yeah? I did this over the summer. Took

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Speaker 1: a photo album and it took me hours because you scan,

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00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,760
Speaker 1: I'd like four times. Yeah, but then you have to

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00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:08,800
Speaker 1: go in and you have to like split up the

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00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,920
Speaker 1: different things because it copies them always one big collage,

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00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,280
Speaker 1: and I don't want him. It was, it was. It

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00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:15,920
Speaker 1: took me forever. I wish i'd use lely Se Box

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00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:21,360
Speaker 1: from now on. I'm going it's hard to legacy box.

387
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,840
Speaker 1: I wonder does hit. I wonder if they'll take roles

388
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:27,480
Speaker 1: of film because I opened my college drunk the other

389
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:32,159
Speaker 1: day and I have undeveloped undeveloped in there, and I

390
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:34,320
Speaker 1: have no idea where to take it. I'm sure they

391
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:37,240
Speaker 1: will or what's on there. I have old cassettes of

392
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:38,959
Speaker 1: me and my friends messing aroundhen I was a kid,

393
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,840
Speaker 1: when I was like seven years old. I'd want that

394
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:44,800
Speaker 1: kept forever. I have like old CDs that I remember

395
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:46,440
Speaker 1: I burned for, like you know, the old like high

396
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:53,840
Speaker 1: school boyfriends stakes. Yeah, seven o'clock. I think everyone here

397
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:57,159
Speaker 1: had a mixed DAP with that song on there. Everybody. Well,

398
00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:59,800
Speaker 1: there's never been a better time to digitally preserve your

399
00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:03,080
Speaker 1: men rates. Visit Legacy box dot com today to get started. Plus,

400
00:21:03,080 --> 00:21:06,240
Speaker 1: for a limited time, they're offering my listeners an exclusive discount.

401
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:08,640
Speaker 1: Go to Legacy box dot com slash Janna to get

402
00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:11,879
Speaker 1: off your first order or save up to two and

403
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:15,040
Speaker 1: the largest Legacy Box kit. Go to legacy box dot

404
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:18,640
Speaker 1: com slash Janna and say today get started preserving your

405
00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:23,119
Speaker 1: past today. I'm actually really excited about this because I

406
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:26,239
Speaker 1: feel like this term gets thrown around a lot, but

407
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:29,440
Speaker 1: yet we really know the true definition of what a

408
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,720
Speaker 1: narcissist is, right, And how many do we have in

409
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:34,920
Speaker 1: our lives exactly? And are we a narcissist? Count five?

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00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:37,520
Speaker 1: But are you one? Though? That's the thing we're about

411
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Speaker 1: to find out. Laura, Hey, you got the crew, You

412
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:48,879
Speaker 1: got the wine Down Crew, So I'm we're really excited

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Speaker 1: to have you on because can you just, you know,

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Speaker 1: first off, tell us in our listeners, what is the

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Speaker 1: true definition of a narcissist. A narcissist truly someone with

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Speaker 1: a personality disorder. Um. In my book, there there are

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Speaker 1: a characteristics that psychologist psychiatrists have said that a person

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Speaker 1: with narcissistic personality disorder has You have that? I can?

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Speaker 1: I can. I'm going to lift them up. And my

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Speaker 1: husband applies to any of these boxes as are checked.

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Speaker 1: You know, people say everyone knows the narcissists in his

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Speaker 1: or her life. Do you think so, how many? How

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Speaker 1: many of those they come to realize that the narcissist

424
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:41,840
Speaker 1: is looking back at them in the mirror. None? None,

425
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:45,800
Speaker 1: because there's no self awareness with the narcissists. Absolutely not. Yeah,

426
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:47,639
Speaker 1: that's very true. Okay, so can you just give me

427
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:50,680
Speaker 1: to the point so I can we can those down

428
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:53,399
Speaker 1: and yeah, here we go. I'll give you all of them. Okay.

429
00:22:53,400 --> 00:22:57,480
Speaker 1: The first one is has the grandiose sense of self important.

430
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,760
Speaker 1: For example, they accept rate their achievements and their talents.

431
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:07,639
Speaker 1: They expect to be recognized as superior without any commensurate achievements.

432
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:12,960
Speaker 1: So yeah, Number two is preoccupied with fantash fantasies of

433
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:19,639
Speaker 1: unlimited success, power, brilliant, beauty, or love. Number three believe

434
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:23,960
Speaker 1: that he or she is special and unique and should

435
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:27,160
Speaker 1: only be surrounded or associate with other special or high

436
00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:34,800
Speaker 1: status people. Okay, next one requires excessive ever sorry are

437
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:41,880
Speaker 1: you okay? I love it? And it has a very

438
00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:49,080
Speaker 1: strong sense of entitlement unreasonable expectations of from people. Um.

439
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:53,119
Speaker 1: The next one is exploitative of others, so basically they

440
00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:57,359
Speaker 1: take advantage of other people to serve themselves. Um. The

441
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:00,480
Speaker 1: big one is the huge I have not heard of

442
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:06,520
Speaker 1: or met a narcissist that has empathy. A narcissist lacks empathy.

443
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:10,120
Speaker 1: They do not look at the feelings or needs of others. Um.

444
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:13,359
Speaker 1: And they're two more is often envious of others or

445
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,679
Speaker 1: belief that others are envious of him or her. And

446
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:20,040
Speaker 1: then the last one is regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviors

447
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:28,600
Speaker 1: or attitudes, hatty behaviors, haughty like um, yeah, potty potty

448
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:36,159
Speaker 1: h A crap? Check that one off from me? Shoot,

449
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:41,000
Speaker 1: that X is accent? That's okay, okay. Have you ever

450
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:45,200
Speaker 1: actually met someone that has all of these? My ex

451
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:49,040
Speaker 1: has eight seven of the eight. How long were you

452
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:53,200
Speaker 1: with your ax? Way too long? Sixteen years? How did

453
00:24:53,359 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 1: you survive seriously seriously. Um, lots of counseling. Um. I

454
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 1: eventually lived upstairs. I talk about all of this in

455
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:07,639
Speaker 1: my book That pub Ugly Love. Eventually lived upstairs and

456
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:10,919
Speaker 1: even moved from the guest room into my sunsroom because

457
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:12,879
Speaker 1: he would not come in there and scream at me

458
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:16,600
Speaker 1: and yell at me. Um, if my little boy was around,

459
00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:22,240
Speaker 1: How did you break away? Because isn't it almost impossible

460
00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:25,040
Speaker 1: to get away from a narcissist? Don't they what's the

461
00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:30,080
Speaker 1: word they play with your brain? The gaslight you? It's

462
00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:34,560
Speaker 1: all gaslighting. They yes, they gaslight you, and they eventually

463
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:38,280
Speaker 1: isolate you from friends, family, and they tell you that

464
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:41,000
Speaker 1: make you think you're so crazy that you know, he

465
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,879
Speaker 1: would say things like, Laura, you're I'm the only one

466
00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:44,760
Speaker 1: who could ever love you. If you ever leave me,

467
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:47,000
Speaker 1: good luck. You can't compete with all these other women

468
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:49,560
Speaker 1: in Dallas. No one will love you. You You know, you

469
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:52,680
Speaker 1: better stick with me. You start to believe that, But

470
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:58,159
Speaker 1: you know, Um, how did I leave? Through therapy and

471
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:00,960
Speaker 1: realizing leaving wouldn't be any worse than what I was

472
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:09,480
Speaker 1: going through? Did you probably is probably so much? Oh? Yeah,

473
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:11,879
Speaker 1: I'm the happiest I've ever been. Did you grow up

474
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:15,960
Speaker 1: with a narcissistic parent. Is that that is a great question. Yes,

475
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:19,200
Speaker 1: that that typically all the women. I have a Facebook

476
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:22,000
Speaker 1: group it's called Victorious Voices, and it's mostly women. We

477
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:24,520
Speaker 1: have a couple of guys that are members, but almost

478
00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:28,080
Speaker 1: everyone has someone in their family that is a narcissist,

479
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:32,600
Speaker 1: and that becomes your default because it's that conditional, almost

480
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:36,159
Speaker 1: unattainable love and you never really get that from that

481
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:40,080
Speaker 1: parent or grandparents, so you try to sign that in

482
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:44,040
Speaker 1: your next significant relationship, which is often a partner. What

483
00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 1: is your best advice to deal with family members who

484
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:51,320
Speaker 1: are full blown narcissists. Stay away as much as you can,

485
00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:55,760
Speaker 1: and when you are in their presence, don't expect anything

486
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:59,160
Speaker 1: from them. Um. It helps me to learn to anticipate

487
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:03,400
Speaker 1: what mine was a parent, what this parent would say

488
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:06,880
Speaker 1: to me. Even in the last two years. I would think, Oh,

489
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,479
Speaker 1: she's going to criticize how I am setting the table

490
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:12,119
Speaker 1: or how I'm raising my son. And I would count

491
00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:14,280
Speaker 1: like one to three, and then there it would be

492
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 1: so prepare myself and mostly, Wow, Michael, do you know

493
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:24,639
Speaker 1: anyone that's a true narcissist like this that has all

494
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:26,959
Speaker 1: those eight points? Because I'm not, and I don't know

495
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:30,199
Speaker 1: there are things that I can say, oh maybe this

496
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:32,159
Speaker 1: one point or this one, but I don't know anyone

497
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:34,480
Speaker 1: that actually has all. Well that's all I was gonna

498
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:37,280
Speaker 1: ask Laura, after how many of these kind of going

499
00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:41,080
Speaker 1: down the checklist does someone have to have check off,

500
00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:43,560
Speaker 1: you know, three out of the eight to be really

501
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,720
Speaker 1: considered a true narcissist or is there do you have

502
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:49,840
Speaker 1: any kind of system around that? Um there, it's five

503
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 1: of the eight. That's what psychologists and psychiatrists have determined,

504
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:56,600
Speaker 1: and those eight characteristics are listed in there. It's called

505
00:27:56,600 --> 00:28:03,480
Speaker 1: a diagnostic in statistical Manual of personality or um psychiatric disorder.

506
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,840
Speaker 1: So it is truly an illness. And you know they

507
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:10,680
Speaker 1: don't change. These people don't change. So you know it's

508
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:13,440
Speaker 1: to get out or stay away or laurens that or

509
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:16,440
Speaker 1: very very thick skin. You really don't think there's any

510
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:19,560
Speaker 1: hope for a narcissist at all, even if they were

511
00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 1: to go through, because really they just don't. I'm getting

512
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:27,800
Speaker 1: shaking their heads in the right, Okay, But but I

513
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:29,880
Speaker 1: mean for Mike, I mean you could have you were

514
00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 1: a strong manipulator, and you've now been able to kind

515
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:36,639
Speaker 1: of see and change that. Yeah, But but I also

516
00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:40,240
Speaker 1: had the capability of empathy, and I didn't think of

517
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:43,800
Speaker 1: myself better than other people, and I'm still grounded human beings.

518
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:46,960
Speaker 1: So yes, I had negative traits of things like being

519
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,720
Speaker 1: manipulating to hide my secrets or flaws or whatever, but

520
00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:54,720
Speaker 1: I had other characteristics that completely go against what a narcissistem.

521
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 1: He didn't have the checklist to diagnose him with a

522
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:03,880
Speaker 1: personality disorder. Personality disorders are almost untreatable, so they're just

523
00:29:03,920 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 1: screwed pretty much with people around them. But that's sad though,

524
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:16,520
Speaker 1: that's sad that someone you can't get through people like that. Well,

525
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 1: we all know people that it's hard to get through

526
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:21,520
Speaker 1: to them, right, But I think, I mean, over time,

527
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:23,760
Speaker 1: can't you if if there was like an intervention to

528
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:27,000
Speaker 1: be like, look, ten out of ten people in this room,

529
00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:29,280
Speaker 1: I think that you have all these traits and you

530
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:31,920
Speaker 1: really need to look at yourself. Like even that one worked.

531
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:34,640
Speaker 1: It's like if you have like an old, senile grandparent

532
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:37,200
Speaker 1: or something like, you just kind of accept it, right,

533
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:39,680
Speaker 1: So it's it's kind of to the degree of that

534
00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:44,280
Speaker 1: like use an old person not necessarily, but I'm disorders.

535
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:46,560
Speaker 1: I'm just saying that's an example of you just accepting

536
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:48,560
Speaker 1: how they are, so like, oh, this is my grandfather,

537
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:51,520
Speaker 1: this is my grandmother, she's this way, that's just her

538
00:29:51,720 --> 00:29:54,080
Speaker 1: and you accept it. And so dealing with people with this,

539
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:55,760
Speaker 1: I feel like it's kind of the same thing once

540
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:57,600
Speaker 1: you address it and you acknowledge it, like you know

541
00:29:57,640 --> 00:29:59,680
Speaker 1: what you are, what you are called, you know, spade

542
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 1: to space, even move on, right. I don't think it's hopeless,

543
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 1: but I will tell you of all the research I've done.

544
00:30:08,560 --> 00:30:11,800
Speaker 1: There is a psychologistic guy named Lundy Bancroft, and he

545
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:16,680
Speaker 1: has counseled over two thousands abusive, emotionally and verbally abusive men,

546
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:20,040
Speaker 1: and he says he's only seen a just a handful

547
00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:23,560
Speaker 1: like two or three change and it took years and years.

548
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:27,120
Speaker 1: He must be exhausted. Do you see it more in

549
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 1: this day and age or is it more because I

550
00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:32,280
Speaker 1: I honestly see some of these traits in someone in

551
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:35,320
Speaker 1: my family. So what do you see it as as

552
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:38,480
Speaker 1: older people? Or is it? Does it? Does age really

553
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:41,600
Speaker 1: make a difference? Age doesn't make a difference. You know,

554
00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:43,800
Speaker 1: there's some a lot of people joke O with's some

555
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:47,640
Speaker 1: millennials and they're very, um, narcissistic. But then you look

556
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:50,280
Speaker 1: at those millennials that care so much about the environment

557
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:54,560
Speaker 1: and it's impact on all of us and others, and

558
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:56,840
Speaker 1: so you know, I, you know, I don't know, but

559
00:30:56,960 --> 00:31:00,720
Speaker 1: age does not make a difference. Um. You know, I

560
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:04,360
Speaker 1: still have a narcissistic parents and in her seventies. And

561
00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 1: then I have you know, my ex who's in his fifties.

562
00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 1: So and do you tell her she's a narcissist? Um? Well, yes,

563
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:15,320
Speaker 1: there's a chapter in the book about it. And we

564
00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:19,400
Speaker 1: do not speak right now. I'm sorry, it's nope, it's

565
00:31:19,400 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 1: a free and feeling. It's kind of like when I

566
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:25,920
Speaker 1: left my x now ex husband. So so what do

567
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,920
Speaker 1: you do now to like move forward in your new relationships?

568
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:31,000
Speaker 1: Like what are you just like if you see one

569
00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:33,280
Speaker 1: of these traits, you're you run for the hills or

570
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:39,400
Speaker 1: are you? Um? There are some traits to look for

571
00:31:39,560 --> 00:31:42,720
Speaker 1: when you're dating. And I've learned what those are, and

572
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:47,160
Speaker 1: yessess um there are three or four that I'll tell

573
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:50,200
Speaker 1: you they're the most important. One is narcissist are very

574
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 1: very charming, Like on the first day they will roll

575
00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:58,920
Speaker 1: out the red carpet for you, flowers, you know, the

576
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:04,120
Speaker 1: nicest restaurant you know, blah blah blah. Another one is that,

577
00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 1: and they like to move very very fast. They want

578
00:32:06,800 --> 00:32:10,160
Speaker 1: to hook you. And if you don't see that any

579
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:14,880
Speaker 1: perceived you know, default in their character or any you know,

580
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,800
Speaker 1: just like lack of integrity, they want to move very

581
00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 1: very fast, whether it's intimacy or you know, telling you

582
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:23,320
Speaker 1: I love you. I had a guy tell me you

583
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,080
Speaker 1: loved me on the second day. I'm like, really, I've

584
00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:27,200
Speaker 1: known you for like about an hour and a half.

585
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:34,720
Speaker 1: How they know the second I don't know what? Um?

586
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:37,360
Speaker 1: And then another one is and you will notice that

587
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:42,880
Speaker 1: they eventually begin to gas light you, like they'll subtly say,

588
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:45,240
Speaker 1: they'll say something and then you might question them about it,

589
00:32:45,280 --> 00:32:49,520
Speaker 1: Like they'll say, oh, um, your hair looks okay, and

590
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:51,600
Speaker 1: then you'll ask them about it later. Will you you

591
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:54,360
Speaker 1: don't like my hair this way? No, I never said

592
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:57,440
Speaker 1: anything like that. I've never miss your Starting to make

593
00:32:57,440 --> 00:33:00,760
Speaker 1: you feel crazy, Yes, you start to feel crazy, But

594
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:05,160
Speaker 1: those are probably the top three or sounds like a lifetime.

595
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:06,920
Speaker 1: I wish I would have met you three years ago,

596
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:11,200
Speaker 1: and I hope not. I'm just I'm just ignoring all

597
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:15,719
Speaker 1: of these comments. No, no, I will say those like

598
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,480
Speaker 1: the charming and moving fast that that just plays onto

599
00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:21,560
Speaker 1: our love addiction. So I you know, yes, I'm there,

600
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:27,160
Speaker 1: I'm a love addict to Why do you think? Where

601
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:30,040
Speaker 1: do you think the term narcis like narcissist or narcissism

602
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:32,840
Speaker 1: is thrown around as easily as it is, like, you know,

603
00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:35,320
Speaker 1: people get an arguments, you're such a narcissist this or that.

604
00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:39,440
Speaker 1: Why why do you think that is? I think, um,

605
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:42,760
Speaker 1: the word is more commonplace these days, and not to

606
00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:48,320
Speaker 1: get policial, but you know what I'm talking about, right, Um,

607
00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:52,800
Speaker 1: So people tend to just use that word not knowing

608
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:56,680
Speaker 1: it exactly what a true narcissist is, someone who's maybe

609
00:33:57,240 --> 00:33:59,600
Speaker 1: ultra confident. They say, oh, you're such a narcissist. You know,

610
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:02,360
Speaker 1: you can be very confident, but not be a narcissism

611
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:07,200
Speaker 1: for sure. That makes sense. You look at what you do?

612
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:10,360
Speaker 1: Three do you know you're you have this awesome podcast

613
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:12,719
Speaker 1: and you're confident what you do, but you're not a narcissist.

614
00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:17,080
Speaker 1: You have empathy? Yeah? I mean I I don't I

615
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:18,520
Speaker 1: look at this list and I don't feel like I'm

616
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:25,239
Speaker 1: an narcissist you because I think it's so funny that

617
00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:27,399
Speaker 1: you're like, hold on, do I check any of these

618
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 1: vis I think sometimes we can mean, but some of

619
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:36,839
Speaker 1: these I don't think you don't check, Laura mat Now,

620
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,640
Speaker 1: when you're in your life, you know, post your divorce

621
00:34:39,760 --> 00:34:42,719
Speaker 1: with your ex husband and everything, do you still kind

622
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:44,680
Speaker 1: of deal with a lot of trauma from that relationship

623
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:47,600
Speaker 1: trying to move forward in your personal life with with

624
00:34:47,640 --> 00:34:52,600
Speaker 1: other you know, men or dating. That's a great question. Um,

625
00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:56,359
Speaker 1: I didn't initially with men, I would date. I would Um.

626
00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:59,320
Speaker 1: I found myself, especially right after the divorce, being attracted

627
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:05,280
Speaker 1: to narcissis, but that too reset my default, if you will. Um,

628
00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:07,120
Speaker 1: And lately I've kind of gone the other way. I'll

629
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:08,920
Speaker 1: go out with guys i'm they've even attracted to and

630
00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:11,600
Speaker 1: I end up on a date going okay, just really stuck.

631
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 1: So I've got to get happy medium. So yes, in

632
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:19,000
Speaker 1: the beginning, I did. And it's uncomfortable on the beginning,

633
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:22,080
Speaker 1: isn't that? Yes, what a great journey though, I mean,

634
00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:26,120
Speaker 1: you went through something that sucks, but you're you have

635
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:27,920
Speaker 1: like the silver lining. You have a you have a

636
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:31,280
Speaker 1: book that's called Ugly Love a survivor story of narcissistic abuse.

637
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:33,799
Speaker 1: So I think that's really great because now you're you're

638
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:36,720
Speaker 1: able to give back in the struggles that you faced.

639
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:41,240
Speaker 1: I have. I spoke with a woman yesterday and she's

640
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 1: been um with a narcissist for almost twenty years and

641
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:47,359
Speaker 1: she's ready to go, and so we talked about how

642
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:52,000
Speaker 1: to exit that relationship without losing her money and her

643
00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:55,279
Speaker 1: kids and her home and it's all the things that

644
00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:58,319
Speaker 1: are important to her. And she texted me last night

645
00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:00,560
Speaker 1: because I just feel like I can conquer the world now.

646
00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:02,719
Speaker 1: And I thought, Okay, that's why I wrote the book.

647
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:05,919
Speaker 1: Right there, I'm done. That was that was your purpose theory,

648
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,520
Speaker 1: that's my purpose? So where can where can my listeners

649
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:12,279
Speaker 1: find everything about you? Um? I have a website called

650
00:36:12,320 --> 00:36:14,879
Speaker 1: the Ugly Love Book dot com and then you can

651
00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:17,600
Speaker 1: find my book on Amazon or Barns and Nobles dot

652
00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:20,480
Speaker 1: com that if you want to friend me on Facebook

653
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:22,839
Speaker 1: at Flora Koreansa with a d H, and I can

654
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:27,040
Speaker 1: lead you to my page. For those of us that

655
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 1: have been through this journey or are going through it,

656
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:31,640
Speaker 1: I love it. Well, thank you so much for sharing

657
00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:34,680
Speaker 1: your insight and I'm going to start exing some people

658
00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:37,880
Speaker 1: out of my life, right that garden weed, that garden baby,

659
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:40,760
Speaker 1: Thank you so much, you do it all right, Thanks

660
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:44,319
Speaker 1: so much, guys, Bye bye bye. I honestly feel like

661
00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:46,920
Speaker 1: the narcissistic people I have in my life they are older,

662
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:50,839
Speaker 1: are all older people in my family. I feel the

663
00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:54,960
Speaker 1: same way you do. Absolutely. Yeah, I don't even know.

664
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:57,719
Speaker 1: I can honestly say I don't think I have a

665
00:36:57,719 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 1: true narcissist that I know, or am I family. I

666
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:04,120
Speaker 1: think again, for me, maybe a grandparent or something. It's

667
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:06,560
Speaker 1: they're kind of stuck in their ways. That's how That's

668
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:08,640
Speaker 1: how I look at it, because there is they don't

669
00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:11,319
Speaker 1: check all these boxes. There are some that they're definitely not.

670
00:37:11,480 --> 00:37:16,480
Speaker 1: So I think that in that sense, it's a generational thing. Possibly.

671
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:18,960
Speaker 1: I don't think like your question to her about does

672
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:21,520
Speaker 1: it does age affect whether someone's a narcissist or they're

673
00:37:21,520 --> 00:37:25,279
Speaker 1: more narcissistant and older generation, I think just there's more

674
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:29,200
Speaker 1: the older generation, there's more people stuck in their ways. Yeah.

675
00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:32,759
Speaker 1: I actually got into radio from a play on this

676
00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:37,040
Speaker 1: word because I wrote a story in fourth grade called Sussecran,

677
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:42,720
Speaker 1: which is narcissist backwards, and scran was the opposite character

678
00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:49,200
Speaker 1: of Narcissus. Narcisi yes fourth grade and fourth grade, and

679
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:52,839
Speaker 1: he was secure and unsure of himself and wouldn't look

680
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:56,160
Speaker 1: in the way to see his reflection, and so it

681
00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:58,760
Speaker 1: was a complete opposite. And I won the Young Author

682
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:02,759
Speaker 1: Award for in Michigan and I got to read the

683
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:07,440
Speaker 1: story live on air for the AM station in Detroit.

684
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:10,680
Speaker 1: And when I walked into the studio, I was like,

685
00:38:11,040 --> 00:38:17,759
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I love this. Yes, that's really cool.

686
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:19,920
Speaker 1: Do you have the recording of that. I'm trying to

687
00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:22,480
Speaker 1: get it. I've been trying and trying to get it.

688
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:24,000
Speaker 1: You should. If you do get it, put in a

689
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:28,400
Speaker 1: legacy box in that way you can have it forever. Okay.

690
00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:31,480
Speaker 1: So we've been trying to eat really healthy. I love

691
00:38:31,719 --> 00:38:34,960
Speaker 1: Thrive Market. It's really really easy. It's basically an online

692
00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 1: marketplace on a mission to make healthy living easy and

693
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:42,560
Speaker 1: affordable for everyone. So for us, um Jolie, she can't

694
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:44,879
Speaker 1: have peanut butter in her school, so we can get

695
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:48,719
Speaker 1: Justin's almond butter. We can cash you butter. We have

696
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:51,879
Speaker 1: a pumpkin bread mix. You can get everything you need,

697
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:55,359
Speaker 1: non gmo food snacks, vitamin supplements, personal care products, eco

698
00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:59,240
Speaker 1: friendly cleaning supplies, non toxic beauty products. I mean literally

699
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:02,040
Speaker 1: anything you can think go for, from kitchen to food,

700
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:05,720
Speaker 1: to our organic baby food to kid products, so much

701
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:07,799
Speaker 1: and everything gets shipped straight to your door. So it's

702
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:12,399
Speaker 1: so easy. So right now, get off your first order

703
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:15,000
Speaker 1: and get a free thirty day trial at thrive market

704
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:17,440
Speaker 1: dot com slash Janna. Do the math. So if you

705
00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:20,040
Speaker 1: normally spend hundred dollars at the grocery store, it would

706
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:22,560
Speaker 1: be around fifty to seventy five on thrive Market because

707
00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:26,440
Speaker 1: if they're already low prices, and again you're getting amazing stuff, organic,

708
00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:29,200
Speaker 1: non GMO, et cetera. So and now they're giving you

709
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:33,040
Speaker 1: an extra off thrive market dot com slash Janna. No

710
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:37,719
Speaker 1: promo code is necessary, just thrive market dot com slash Janna.

711
00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:42,160
Speaker 1: I am so excited because I have the most incredibly

712
00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:45,960
Speaker 1: beautifully talented woman in studio right now, Nicole are Parker.

713
00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:51,200
Speaker 1: You are so just You're naturally just stunning. I mean,

714
00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:55,279
Speaker 1: you make but what do you do your face is

715
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:57,640
Speaker 1: just like you know, you're really making me feel good

716
00:39:57,719 --> 00:40:02,360
Speaker 1: right now, so good. I don't know, are you like

717
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:04,520
Speaker 1: a family morning show. Because the truth is, I like,

718
00:40:04,719 --> 00:40:09,360
Speaker 1: stop drinking. That's great. Stop drinking. Yeah, stop drinking wine

719
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:13,560
Speaker 1: the one o'clock every night, every night. Don't tell me

720
00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:16,399
Speaker 1: that I have to every single night. Obviously I can't

721
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:18,879
Speaker 1: right now, but I'm not. I can't. That's I said

722
00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 1: to the same thing. And then I was like thirty

723
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 1: pounds over the top and I stopped. I got it out.

724
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:28,439
Speaker 1: It's about even for the skin. That helps your skin

725
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:30,759
Speaker 1: because it dehydrates you all that stuff and you read

726
00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:33,600
Speaker 1: all those beat hydrates. You read the beauty blogs and

727
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:36,360
Speaker 1: you're like, really, eight glasses of water, no booze, no bread.

728
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:40,440
Speaker 1: Who lives like that? Because I'm a pasta wine drinking

729
00:40:40,719 --> 00:40:46,560
Speaker 1: So what are you drinking? It's no fun. I'm just

730
00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:51,239
Speaker 1: about friends friends. I'm the I'm the friend with the

731
00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:54,080
Speaker 1: lime and the silts of water. Now, no, but what

732
00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:56,880
Speaker 1: about that? But it in the last say it was

733
00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:59,479
Speaker 1: a nightmare the first couple of weeks. But I lost

734
00:40:59,520 --> 00:41:02,600
Speaker 1: him pounds the first couple of weeks. Yes, because it's

735
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:05,279
Speaker 1: just you're just swollen, You're just in flaming. See, I

736
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:08,239
Speaker 1: disagree with you because because my trainer always says, I

737
00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:11,319
Speaker 1: disagreed with myself Okay, maybe I'm just but I will

738
00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:13,520
Speaker 1: say this, I feel like my body works differently because

739
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:15,799
Speaker 1: my trainer says, stop the wine and you'll get the blow.

740
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:18,440
Speaker 1: When I stop the wine, I get more bloated. And

741
00:41:18,480 --> 00:41:20,480
Speaker 1: then when I drink my wine, my stom is flatter.

742
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:26,399
Speaker 1: He's like, my stomach is flatter in the morning when

743
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:28,160
Speaker 1: I wake up when I have wine. I mean, honestly,

744
00:41:28,239 --> 00:41:30,319
Speaker 1: I can't now, but that's the that's the mom and

745
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:32,000
Speaker 1: the wife and you, that's the married with kids in

746
00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:35,120
Speaker 1: you girls. It's how I survived. So I just I

747
00:41:35,200 --> 00:41:37,759
Speaker 1: don't know so much prettier with the martini. If I

748
00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:40,080
Speaker 1: have to get more botox so that I can continue,

749
00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:42,680
Speaker 1: then that's what I'm gonna do. I'll get some more hydration. Listen.

750
00:41:42,719 --> 00:41:44,959
Speaker 1: And I'm not going to be the person who never

751
00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:47,279
Speaker 1: has a drink of champagne at the wedding, you know.

752
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:48,759
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be that person. But I had

753
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:51,719
Speaker 1: to do something and I didn't want to get like

754
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,200
Speaker 1: a bunch of fillers in my face, you know, And

755
00:41:54,200 --> 00:42:00,439
Speaker 1: it was starting to show on my birthdays on Sunday. Well,

756
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:07,600
Speaker 1: why no way, no stop. Yeah wait, I mean I'm

757
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:11,719
Speaker 1: still not drinking wine, but I gonna do the man,

758
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:14,239
Speaker 1: but listen that Yeah, I was. I was born in

759
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:18,680
Speaker 1: nineteen seventy. Oh my god. But what's your background though racially? Yeah,

760
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:20,520
Speaker 1: you know what, I wish I had a really sexy

761
00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:22,960
Speaker 1: answer for you, like I'm half Dominican. Yeah I'm not.

762
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:25,759
Speaker 1: I'm just light skin. I'm black. I'm all black. But

763
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:30,479
Speaker 1: c so it's like I don't know everything. Like so, yeah,

764
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:33,120
Speaker 1: it really is the win great skin. Maybe that's it.

765
00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:35,240
Speaker 1: But no, seriously, I just took a break from wine.

766
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:37,399
Speaker 1: I didn't really do anything else, not really a tequila person.

767
00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:39,400
Speaker 1: I just had my glass of wine every night, and

768
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:41,640
Speaker 1: I lost weight, my skin cleared up. I use a

769
00:42:41,719 --> 00:42:45,080
Speaker 1: thousand creams and serums. I'm just, you know, fighting the clock.

770
00:42:45,880 --> 00:42:47,520
Speaker 1: Like they're just taking care of yourself. I'm just taking

771
00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:49,880
Speaker 1: care of myself, taking an aggressive approach, taking care of yourself.

772
00:42:50,160 --> 00:42:53,560
Speaker 1: Your kids are he summed it up. Stop sucking up

773
00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:56,000
Speaker 1: to her right now, because I know you want something

774
00:42:56,040 --> 00:42:58,000
Speaker 1: from her right now, and we'll get to that later.

775
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:02,320
Speaker 1: What is your work out? Um? I don't kill myself

776
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:06,640
Speaker 1: in real time. UM. I just do something every day. Um,

777
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:08,319
Speaker 1: and then on the weekends. I don't really do that much.

778
00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:11,000
Speaker 1: But I like, you know, I do cardio, you know,

779
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:13,399
Speaker 1: I just go for it. That high intensity really works.

780
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:15,680
Speaker 1: Twenty minutes, that's usually all I have, and then I'll

781
00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 1: just do a circuit. You know, you don't have to

782
00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:20,200
Speaker 1: pay someone. I've had really great trainers, but I got

783
00:43:20,239 --> 00:43:22,440
Speaker 1: to the point with traveling and shooting and working and

784
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 1: crazy schedules from the Empire right now, I'm Empire right now. Yeah,

785
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:27,440
Speaker 1: and I shoot out of town in Chicago, my families

786
00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:28,960
Speaker 1: here in l As I'm flying home all the time.

787
00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:31,440
Speaker 1: I had to create like a twenty minute workout for myself.

788
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:33,319
Speaker 1: And basically, you can get out of bed in your

789
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:36,279
Speaker 1: pajamas and you can either go for a run if

790
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:38,960
Speaker 1: that's what you like outdoors, or if you're in your pajamas,

791
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:40,200
Speaker 1: you get laid down on the side of the bed.

792
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:42,759
Speaker 1: You do tin setups, tin push ups, tin squats, ten

793
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:45,239
Speaker 1: jumping jacks, and you do that five times with your

794
00:43:45,239 --> 00:43:51,040
Speaker 1: glass of wine in hand. Well, you have breakfast and

795
00:43:51,080 --> 00:43:55,839
Speaker 1: then amosa. But that's great though. Yeah, I mean, and

796
00:43:55,880 --> 00:44:01,239
Speaker 1: you have two kids, yes, ages ten eleven and thirteen.

797
00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:07,080
Speaker 1: Yes boys girls. Nicholas um is going to be twelve

798
00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:13,439
Speaker 1: on Halloween birthday and Sophie's my thirteen year old eighth grader. Yeah,

799
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:16,360
Speaker 1: so how's the thirteen year old girl? Because we have

800
00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:18,160
Speaker 1: a three year old girl right now and then a

801
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:20,480
Speaker 1: boy on the way. So I know you're still in

802
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:26,080
Speaker 1: the wonderful stage. It's wonderful. Um, she's okay, wonderful is

803
00:44:26,080 --> 00:44:29,640
Speaker 1: a strong word, but it is more times wonderful. Yeah,

804
00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:33,399
Speaker 1: it's more times wonderful. But she's been super challenging lately. Yeah,

805
00:44:33,400 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 1: but then she has that one second of sweetness yet.

806
00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:40,399
Speaker 1: But you knows, I just tried to do everything right.

807
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:42,560
Speaker 1: I like, Okay, you gotta have manners, you gotta be

808
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:44,040
Speaker 1: a good person, you gotta know how to make your bed.

809
00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:46,520
Speaker 1: You gotta eat spaghetti with with not your fingers, you

810
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:48,759
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Just you have to say your grace.

811
00:44:49,040 --> 00:44:51,520
Speaker 1: I just tried to give them everything, and then around

812
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:56,000
Speaker 1: nine eleven you start to see what sticks. So like

813
00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:59,280
Speaker 1: I didn't really clearly do well in the bed making

814
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:03,120
Speaker 1: discipline in part, but Mike has been more of the disciplinary.

815
00:45:03,719 --> 00:45:05,960
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, he's kind of like regiment and he's really

816
00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:08,120
Speaker 1: good with teaching them time management because you know, seventh

817
00:45:08,120 --> 00:45:10,480
Speaker 1: and eighth grade these days, it's serious, like you have

818
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:12,600
Speaker 1: to monitor the phone time. This is my son's a

819
00:45:12,640 --> 00:45:16,920
Speaker 1: little athlete, the athletics, and so right now at thirteen,

820
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:20,000
Speaker 1: my daughter is a really sweet, kind person who just

821
00:45:20,239 --> 00:45:25,680
Speaker 1: likes blue nail polish and blue hair extensions. First boy,

822
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:29,919
Speaker 1: thirteen and a half years. You've known each other about

823
00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:34,120
Speaker 1: believe that's like a hundred years. In Hollywood, people ask

824
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:38,440
Speaker 1: us to speak on marriage panels. Yeah, so what's your secret?

825
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:41,359
Speaker 1: I don't know, you know, It's like, married is one thing.

826
00:45:41,360 --> 00:45:43,040
Speaker 1: I was just saying this, and married with kids is

827
00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:46,120
Speaker 1: another thing. It's a really hard job. And anyone who

828
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:49,000
Speaker 1: tells you different has like eight thousand nannies. Okay, I

829
00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:52,799
Speaker 1: have one, amazing one. And but in terms of your relationship,

830
00:45:53,719 --> 00:45:56,319
Speaker 1: some of the old fashioned stuff, you know what I mean,

831
00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:58,400
Speaker 1: Like when you find your husband, you gotta make him

832
00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:01,160
Speaker 1: your boyfriend. You know, youve got to still be boyfriend

833
00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:04,279
Speaker 1: and girlfriend. That includes date night. Let's that includes you know,

834
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:07,600
Speaker 1: caring about what you wear and also being nice. Like

835
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:09,480
Speaker 1: we have every right in the world to be grumpy.

836
00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:12,440
Speaker 1: So much stuff is coming at us and we're developing

837
00:46:12,440 --> 00:46:14,239
Speaker 1: all these skills. Like you, I'm sure you can catch

838
00:46:14,239 --> 00:46:16,640
Speaker 1: your baby like without even thinking, and you're gonna have

839
00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:19,319
Speaker 1: to You're gonna have like these crazy octopus arms. Your

840
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:21,520
Speaker 1: brain's gonna explode. You're gonna know the weather three days

841
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:23,920
Speaker 1: in advance, and then do you know what I mean?

842
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:25,920
Speaker 1: And now like somebody drops something in you're in traffic,

843
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:27,680
Speaker 1: like you might have a meltdown, and you're gonna call

844
00:46:27,719 --> 00:46:30,480
Speaker 1: your husband, you know, in the four oh five. It

845
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:33,560
Speaker 1: just it's unfair and he's not going to understand. But

846
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:37,120
Speaker 1: that's just the reality. And so like the husband has

847
00:46:37,120 --> 00:46:39,520
Speaker 1: to work too, and has he ever given you a

848
00:46:39,560 --> 00:46:42,919
Speaker 1: honey to do list? What's the honey to do list? Well,

849
00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:44,920
Speaker 1: you know how we give men honey to do list?

850
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:46,560
Speaker 1: That was my other thing, like trying not to give

851
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:50,200
Speaker 1: to my lists. But but has the husband would you

852
00:46:50,239 --> 00:46:52,640
Speaker 1: even think that that's something that a husband should do

853
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:54,719
Speaker 1: for the wife, that the wife should have a honey

854
00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:58,560
Speaker 1: to do list? Well, you know what, I would love that,

855
00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:02,879
Speaker 1: What I would love that because listen, I would love

856
00:47:02,880 --> 00:47:05,080
Speaker 1: it because what happens in a marriage is that you

857
00:47:05,160 --> 00:47:08,400
Speaker 1: break down communication. He has all of a sudden, he

858
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:11,840
Speaker 1: has hearing problems, you know, he you know, but we

859
00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:14,960
Speaker 1: do everything. Yeah, but no, I like I could I

860
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:16,439
Speaker 1: could just walk in the room of my husband would

861
00:47:16,480 --> 00:47:17,919
Speaker 1: know I'm there and now I'm like at a party

862
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:24,520
Speaker 1: and I say, boris honey, sweetie, babe, babe. But like

863
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:27,000
Speaker 1: so I think that if my husband woke up and said,

864
00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:28,799
Speaker 1: you know what, I would love. I would love it

865
00:47:28,840 --> 00:47:32,400
Speaker 1: if you made the lasagna you made, and love it

866
00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:36,239
Speaker 1: if you wear that black dress because I love it.

867
00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:41,120
Speaker 1: That's not a honey, I'm talking And I wouldn't love

868
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:43,200
Speaker 1: to all that stuff because I'm like, you don't like

869
00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:45,480
Speaker 1: the grace weapons, right? What I mean? No, I mean

870
00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:47,319
Speaker 1: like a honey to do less, as in, like you know,

871
00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:52,480
Speaker 1: tasks which we already do without even them even thinking

872
00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:54,440
Speaker 1: of it. Will give me an example, like give me like,

873
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:58,359
Speaker 1: like to make the appointment for the kids dentist. Um,

874
00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:01,719
Speaker 1: we've already done that. We've already been there, done that up,

875
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:03,919
Speaker 1: and you gotta sign up for that. Married with kids,

876
00:48:03,920 --> 00:48:06,440
Speaker 1: you both got to do that. I'll call the dentists

877
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:08,319
Speaker 1: and make the appointment, but you gotta take them. Do

878
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:10,560
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? We went together. There's just

879
00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:13,760
Speaker 1: no way you get We gotta work together. Yeah. Absolutely.

880
00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:15,680
Speaker 1: And the other thing is that you know those self

881
00:48:15,840 --> 00:48:18,759
Speaker 1: books they talk about you gotta be happy inside yourself. Yes,

882
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:22,040
Speaker 1: you can't lean on another person happiness. It's like, well,

883
00:48:22,080 --> 00:48:24,960
Speaker 1: I'm stuck with this person. This person better make me happy,

884
00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:28,040
Speaker 1: That's what I really think. But after thirteen years, guys,

885
00:48:28,120 --> 00:48:33,719
Speaker 1: I can tell you that you gotta work on yourself. Yes,

886
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:35,759
Speaker 1: and bring You're happy to the dinner table. You just

887
00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:38,680
Speaker 1: have to. There's no way you can't survive. Like, that's

888
00:48:38,760 --> 00:48:40,760
Speaker 1: good a cookbook title, bring You're Happy to the table.

889
00:48:40,840 --> 00:48:42,960
Speaker 1: Oh that's cute. I feel it coming. And I cooked too,

890
00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:46,799
Speaker 1: got together. I'm a cook in the family, so really

891
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:53,680
Speaker 1: cooked break sides. Can you make mash potatoes? Sure, I

892
00:48:53,680 --> 00:48:57,040
Speaker 1: can mash them potatoes. I can't make mashed potatoes. Figure

893
00:48:57,080 --> 00:49:00,640
Speaker 1: it out. Let's fire out to do it. So I'm

894
00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:02,480
Speaker 1: gonna tell I'm kind of going to burst your bubble

895
00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:05,120
Speaker 1: bab because she knows about what you put on your head.

896
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:09,440
Speaker 1: I saw it. So we share the same publicist. And

897
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:16,120
Speaker 1: so when my husband was making a dollhouse jendorable dead situation,

898
00:49:16,239 --> 00:49:17,799
Speaker 1: Nicole has come out with a new product. And so

899
00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:20,839
Speaker 1: what Michael did is I brought this is if those

900
00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:24,560
Speaker 1: of you that can't see obviously, it is the cutoffs.

901
00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:26,480
Speaker 1: Do you know what I didn't realize that's what that

902
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:28,640
Speaker 1: was in the picture. Yeah, it's the cut off sleeve

903
00:49:28,840 --> 00:49:31,920
Speaker 1: of Michael's T shirt. So he puts this on his

904
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:34,799
Speaker 1: head so the sweat won't go in his eyes when

905
00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:39,120
Speaker 1: he was working. I need something on my head. So

906
00:49:39,320 --> 00:49:40,960
Speaker 1: like when he was looking at your product, he's like,

907
00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:44,360
Speaker 1: I needed this. I could actually use this, Like we

908
00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:46,680
Speaker 1: are bringing that then to show her that you love

909
00:49:46,760 --> 00:49:49,040
Speaker 1: that you showed it to me. Because you're not ready

910
00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:52,160
Speaker 1: for this bit of detail information, please give it to us.

911
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:54,160
Speaker 1: Like six years ago, I sat down in my kitchen

912
00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:56,640
Speaker 1: and I cut up my husband's dry fit T shirt

913
00:49:57,080 --> 00:49:59,719
Speaker 1: to make my first prototype for my product that I'm

914
00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:03,680
Speaker 1: now giving to your husband. He must have felt intuitively

915
00:50:03,760 --> 00:50:06,320
Speaker 1: that that was the secret and this was you a

916
00:50:06,360 --> 00:50:08,840
Speaker 1: couple of years ago. That's exactly what my husband was

917
00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:11,319
Speaker 1: not happy. That's amazing. Yeah, I made it, and you know,

918
00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:13,320
Speaker 1: and then I'm just a mom. I was actress. I

919
00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:15,560
Speaker 1: went to with you, but I studied theater, I got

920
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:17,040
Speaker 1: a b f A. You know, I didn't know anything

921
00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:20,080
Speaker 1: about business, and I just you know, hit the ground

922
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:23,800
Speaker 1: running and ask questions and corporate let's see it. I'm like,

923
00:50:23,880 --> 00:50:25,960
Speaker 1: let's honey, I want you try it on. So I

924
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:34,440
Speaker 1: saw that it was gray workout too, Yes, yes, And

925
00:50:34,480 --> 00:50:37,160
Speaker 1: I brought you, ladies a couple you designed this because

926
00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:39,120
Speaker 1: and this was I have two designs. One is the

927
00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:42,880
Speaker 1: tie and if you like them to like camo and sparkling,

928
00:50:43,600 --> 00:50:45,440
Speaker 1: I'm gonna send you like a pretty package. But I

929
00:50:45,520 --> 00:50:48,160
Speaker 1: just brought what I had. You explained to the listeners

930
00:50:48,200 --> 00:50:50,400
Speaker 1: what they are. Okay, there are three layers sweatband that

931
00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:52,799
Speaker 1: I created to fit every type of head, every type

932
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:55,440
Speaker 1: of hair, and it's just highly absorbent. Like there's a

933
00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:57,560
Speaker 1: lot of cute sweatbands out there, but the sweat just

934
00:50:57,640 --> 00:51:00,200
Speaker 1: dripped on your face. So I created a set band

935
00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:02,919
Speaker 1: that actually absorbs your sweat. And then I know people

936
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:08,600
Speaker 1: who don't like the tie, look at him. I gotta

937
00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:11,080
Speaker 1: get a picture later. This is my bandy for people

938
00:51:11,120 --> 00:51:13,880
Speaker 1: who just want to wearn errands. My cheerleader customer wears this,

939
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:16,560
Speaker 1: my mom's on the run. These are just cute little

940
00:51:18,520 --> 00:51:21,719
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Then Joe, this is gonna be worn

941
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:24,680
Speaker 1: every day. Now when I help you have the do

942
00:51:24,719 --> 00:51:27,080
Speaker 1: you have the man type two that doesn't have the

943
00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:29,479
Speaker 1: tie in the back, Yeah, I have gray and black.

944
00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:31,720
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna send you guys a little package.

945
00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:34,439
Speaker 1: I'm gonna send your you and your husband this in gray,

946
00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:37,800
Speaker 1: white and black. Okay, great, perfect, thank you. And so

947
00:51:38,600 --> 00:51:41,760
Speaker 1: it's really keep your hair yeah yeah, off your forehead

948
00:51:42,360 --> 00:51:46,520
Speaker 1: and you know, I um, it works for everybody. Like

949
00:51:46,560 --> 00:51:48,200
Speaker 1: I'm a black woman and I made it because we

950
00:51:48,280 --> 00:51:51,799
Speaker 1: always spend so much money on our hair. And when

951
00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:54,080
Speaker 1: I first started my business, I did all these media buiyes.

952
00:51:54,120 --> 00:51:56,120
Speaker 1: But basically you know those infomercials you see at night,

953
00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:58,960
Speaker 1: Like I put the money back into buying those shot

954
00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:02,480
Speaker 1: an infomercial. My biggest return was on the tennis channel,

955
00:52:02,880 --> 00:52:07,640
Speaker 1: like my definitely, I all of a sudden overnight became

956
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:11,880
Speaker 1: like every white female outdoor athlete was like I need this,

957
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:14,480
Speaker 1: and then men realized they could wear two. But like

958
00:52:14,520 --> 00:52:17,759
Speaker 1: I'm completely it's for everybody. Is it? Every age, every race,

959
00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:20,480
Speaker 1: every size, and for bald people for the they're called

960
00:52:20,520 --> 00:52:22,959
Speaker 1: they're called jim Wrap, jim rap, gim wrap dot com. Okay,

961
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:26,279
Speaker 1: so jim wrap dot com. And then is there specifically

962
00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:29,759
Speaker 1: for men and women's bigger killer. I used to have

963
00:52:29,800 --> 00:52:31,880
Speaker 1: three sizes, but everybody just bought one. So I just

964
00:52:31,960 --> 00:52:34,520
Speaker 1: stream you have a big head through this one. I

965
00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:36,920
Speaker 1: love the Thai. Yeah. If he likes the time, I'm

966
00:52:36,960 --> 00:52:39,480
Speaker 1: going to send you a whole care pack. Okay, I

967
00:52:39,480 --> 00:52:42,000
Speaker 1: mean that's fantast I've got boy colors lots where where

968
00:52:42,040 --> 00:52:44,720
Speaker 1: can you do? You? Do you only e commerce them online?

969
00:52:44,840 --> 00:52:49,279
Speaker 1: Or girl address? Six years of pounding the pavement. I'm

970
00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:54,080
Speaker 1: in Target. Yeah, congratulation, and i just ordered more stores.

971
00:52:54,280 --> 00:52:59,080
Speaker 1: I'm in. That's eleven hundred Sally Beauty in a hundred

972
00:52:59,080 --> 00:53:03,839
Speaker 1: Walmarts and I'm online. What do they for you? Part

973
00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:06,400
Speaker 1: of me? What do they retail for? Um? Different prices,

974
00:53:06,440 --> 00:53:11,160
Speaker 1: somewhere anywhere between always having a sale. That's great. And

975
00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:12,960
Speaker 1: you can just rinse them out, squeeze them in your

976
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:14,400
Speaker 1: sink and let them air dry, don't put them in

977
00:53:14,440 --> 00:53:16,160
Speaker 1: the dryer, or you just throw them in with your

978
00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:19,799
Speaker 1: towels or your pajamas. So yeah, yeah, they last a

979
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:23,320
Speaker 1: really long time. Wow. This is also cool running zoomba

980
00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:26,240
Speaker 1: Yoga's thin crossed that way, training volleyball, at basketball, tennis, anything,

981
00:53:26,320 --> 00:53:28,719
Speaker 1: anytime you sweat. My son went to school like I'm

982
00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:30,719
Speaker 1: his mom, and he sees all my products laying around

983
00:53:30,719 --> 00:53:32,560
Speaker 1: the house and I'm making gift bags for people and

984
00:53:32,600 --> 00:53:34,560
Speaker 1: sitting out thank you notes for people have supported me.

985
00:53:34,960 --> 00:53:38,200
Speaker 1: He goes to school and his friend is wearing the

986
00:53:38,239 --> 00:53:41,440
Speaker 1: blue gym rap and sec in sixth grade and he's like,

987
00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:43,800
Speaker 1: what are you doing with my mom's headband on? He's like,

988
00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:45,840
Speaker 1: this isn't your mom's headband on? My dad bought this

989
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:51,520
Speaker 1: for me from from Target. And so I was like, like,

990
00:53:51,600 --> 00:53:54,200
Speaker 1: it's really getting out there. You know, to come from

991
00:53:54,239 --> 00:53:56,640
Speaker 1: my kitchen with the cut husband T shirt. Heck, yeah,

992
00:53:56,800 --> 00:54:00,359
Speaker 1: you know that's fantastic. And then you're also an Empire right, yes,

993
00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:05,520
Speaker 1: season I play a really mean person. You know, you're

994
00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:09,239
Speaker 1: so like you just you give off that vibe mean girl. Now.

995
00:54:09,360 --> 00:54:11,040
Speaker 1: I came in and as a guest star they I

996
00:54:11,080 --> 00:54:12,319
Speaker 1: got a call saying, do you want to play Force

997
00:54:12,360 --> 00:54:15,320
Speaker 1: Whittaker's ex wife and Oscar Winner's ex wife on Empire?

998
00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:18,520
Speaker 1: Think about it? Think about No? I went it was great.

999
00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:20,840
Speaker 1: It was so much fun. I was like, great clothes,

1000
00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:23,560
Speaker 1: thy high boots, for jackets, big earrings, like who wouldn't

1001
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:26,560
Speaker 1: And so I then in the spring of this year,

1002
00:54:26,640 --> 00:54:29,040
Speaker 1: they said, do you want to be a regular? I said, yes, please,

1003
00:54:29,440 --> 00:54:31,400
Speaker 1: I want to work with Taragi. I've known Terrence for

1004
00:54:31,440 --> 00:54:34,440
Speaker 1: a really long time in the whole cast Jesse and Gabby.

1005
00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:38,399
Speaker 1: It's just so great and it's dangerous. It's fun. It's

1006
00:54:38,480 --> 00:54:41,440
Speaker 1: like emotional roller Coade. For an actor. This is like heaven.

1007
00:54:42,160 --> 00:54:44,040
Speaker 1: You know you have to do like you read the script.

1008
00:54:44,120 --> 00:54:46,359
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, I'm just happy I'm not dead. Yes,

1009
00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:50,160
Speaker 1: I remember that. And I get to like get in

1010
00:54:50,239 --> 00:54:54,200
Speaker 1: a fight with Cookie. I get to boss people around

1011
00:54:54,560 --> 00:54:56,840
Speaker 1: and you know, climb my way to the top and

1012
00:54:56,920 --> 00:55:00,640
Speaker 1: stand there. It's great. Are you enjoying Chicago? I am.

1013
00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:02,480
Speaker 1: I'm a city girl. I don't know what I'm doing

1014
00:55:02,520 --> 00:55:03,759
Speaker 1: out of your in l A. I've been here for ever.

1015
00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:07,400
Speaker 1: But your family? Are you born? Michael's from Well, you're

1016
00:55:07,440 --> 00:55:09,680
Speaker 1: from I lived in for a little while. You look

1017
00:55:09,760 --> 00:55:11,600
Speaker 1: so familiar. I don't know why. I like, it's like,

1018
00:55:11,840 --> 00:55:13,560
Speaker 1: did you wear? Do you to school? I went to

1019
00:55:13,640 --> 00:55:16,520
Speaker 1: James Madison Small School in Virginia. My husband went to

1020
00:55:16,560 --> 00:55:19,960
Speaker 1: BC You yeah, yeah? Is he from the East corrist

1021
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:32,439
Speaker 1: Also he's from Germany Deutsche bi Yeah, Oh my god,

1022
00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:39,120
Speaker 1: he's literally my husband. We got married over there. He

1023
00:55:39,239 --> 00:55:41,680
Speaker 1: literally is from like we're Hansel and Gretel was written

1024
00:55:42,440 --> 00:55:44,000
Speaker 1: next one of my favorite cities. I can't wait to

1025
00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:49,000
Speaker 1: take him. I love Germany. I'm German, so his family

1026
00:55:49,080 --> 00:55:52,040
Speaker 1: on his mother's side is German, French and Jewish and

1027
00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:54,120
Speaker 1: his dad is from West Africa. So he always enters

1028
00:55:54,120 --> 00:55:56,480
Speaker 1: the room like, just back off, okay, I've, I've, I'm

1029
00:55:56,520 --> 00:55:59,000
Speaker 1: from the generations of the most persecuted people in the world.

1030
00:56:00,520 --> 00:56:02,160
Speaker 1: Don't even talk to me. I don't want to hear

1031
00:56:02,160 --> 00:56:04,840
Speaker 1: about the chiki's or anything. I know everything about Africa

1032
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:08,880
Speaker 1: and and like, you know, German Judaism and like, you know,

1033
00:56:09,239 --> 00:56:12,600
Speaker 1: he's just the boss man, you know, the king of

1034
00:56:12,680 --> 00:56:16,480
Speaker 1: the castle. I love it. Yeah, smarter than everyone, even

1035
00:56:16,520 --> 00:56:18,239
Speaker 1: though I don't let him. So would you? Would you

1036
00:56:18,239 --> 00:56:23,000
Speaker 1: move your family in Chicago? Um? Move back? You don't

1037
00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:24,879
Speaker 1: like it because I feel like actors nowadays we don't

1038
00:56:24,920 --> 00:56:26,759
Speaker 1: have to. I just talked to my manage because we're

1039
00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:29,400
Speaker 1: we're building in Nashville, and I said, you know, everything

1040
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:32,680
Speaker 1: now is off self tapes. It's it's like, do we

1041
00:56:32,800 --> 00:56:35,080
Speaker 1: really have to be here? And nothing I've ever filmed

1042
00:56:35,160 --> 00:56:37,320
Speaker 1: has ever actually been in l A anyway, So I'm like,

1043
00:56:37,800 --> 00:56:39,879
Speaker 1: we can get We're you know, we're building a beautiful house.

1044
00:56:39,880 --> 00:56:42,200
Speaker 1: So we could never buy here because it's it would

1045
00:56:42,200 --> 00:56:46,359
Speaker 1: be five million trillion dollars. I know it's a lot.

1046
00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:50,759
Speaker 1: It's you just have to like plan and hope, you know,

1047
00:56:50,880 --> 00:56:52,400
Speaker 1: like that's still on my bucket list. I want to

1048
00:56:52,440 --> 00:56:56,000
Speaker 1: just buy something in New York eventually, and you know,

1049
00:56:56,360 --> 00:56:58,200
Speaker 1: just I don't know, but I can't really do too

1050
00:56:58,280 --> 00:57:01,439
Speaker 1: much until the kids there your life now and once

1051
00:57:01,480 --> 00:57:04,520
Speaker 1: they get into middle school in high school, you don't

1052
00:57:04,520 --> 00:57:07,240
Speaker 1: want to move. That's what I'm saying about you guys,

1053
00:57:07,880 --> 00:57:11,960
Speaker 1: about like, you know, like the babies, you can. I

1054
00:57:12,040 --> 00:57:16,760
Speaker 1: took my kids with me everywhere. Yeah, they all right, Well,

1055
00:57:16,800 --> 00:57:18,440
Speaker 1: we love you. Thank you so much for coming on

1056
00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:21,200
Speaker 1: the show. Where can our listeners find you? Um, I'm

1057
00:57:21,240 --> 00:57:23,360
Speaker 1: on Instagram. It's my name, Nicole ra Parker. Um the

1058
00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:25,560
Speaker 1: gym rop dot com. I'm always having great sales and

1059
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Speaker 1: promotions and stuff. Um and um. Yeah, I had a

1060
00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:32,600
Speaker 1: great time. You guys are You're awesome. Thank you so much.

1061
00:57:32,680 --> 00:57:34,640
Speaker 1: I really appreciate it. All right, y'all give it up

1062
00:57:34,640 --> 00:57:43,320
Speaker 1: for Nicoll Well cool Carbon thirty eight is amazing. Workout close, Okay,

1063
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Speaker 1: but you can also for example, I could have been

1064
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Speaker 1: helping my husband with the dollhouse, warned the outfit, but

1065
00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:50,880
Speaker 1: then also doubled it for a night out. Because the

1066
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Speaker 1: clothes are so cute, you can wear them out, but

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Speaker 1: you can also wear them working out. So it's Carbon

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Speaker 1: three is a performance fashion e commerce site that rates

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Speaker 1: So I really love it. Um. There's thousands of styles

1071
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Speaker 1: offered an athletic, ready to wear, footwear and accessory categories.

1072
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Speaker 1: They mixed style with function, empowering women through their wardrobes.

1073
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00:58:26,320 --> 00:58:29,760
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1078
00:58:29,760 --> 00:58:34,120
Speaker 1: to raise some emails, I do. Um. Ashley says she

1079
00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:36,000
Speaker 1: and her boyfriend just moved into a place together about

1080
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:37,600
Speaker 1: two months ago, and from the get go he was

1081
00:58:37,640 --> 00:58:40,920
Speaker 1: referring to us as roommates. His reasoning is because I

1082
00:58:41,040 --> 00:58:42,520
Speaker 1: never want to have sex anymore, and we never do

1083
00:58:42,560 --> 00:58:45,360
Speaker 1: a couple of things. Now we're on different schedules, so

1084
00:58:45,360 --> 00:58:46,680
Speaker 1: a lot of the time, so when he gets home

1085
00:58:46,680 --> 00:58:48,440
Speaker 1: from work, I'm already in bad asleep. But a couple

1086
00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:50,360
Speaker 1: of nights ago I did try to have sex with him.

1087
00:58:50,880 --> 00:58:52,960
Speaker 1: It started with me getting him in the mood and

1088
00:58:53,120 --> 00:58:55,320
Speaker 1: ended up with me rolling over crying because he said

1089
00:58:55,360 --> 00:58:57,840
Speaker 1: he just wasn't into it. I met a loss right

1090
00:58:57,880 --> 00:58:59,600
Speaker 1: now with what to do. Ever since that night, it's

1091
00:58:59,600 --> 00:59:02,240
Speaker 1: been awkw intense between us. I'm embarrassed because I feel

1092
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:04,480
Speaker 1: like I don't do it for him anymore, and I'm

1093
00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:06,760
Speaker 1: upset because it's like nothing I do is right or

1094
00:59:06,880 --> 00:59:09,200
Speaker 1: good enough. He's always complaining about never having sex, but

1095
00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:11,760
Speaker 1: when I try, he's not in the mood or he's

1096
00:59:11,800 --> 00:59:15,000
Speaker 1: just not into it. Well, two things that I'm going

1097
00:59:15,040 --> 00:59:18,760
Speaker 1: to take from that is him saying his we never

1098
00:59:18,840 --> 00:59:20,760
Speaker 1: do a couple things, So callinghi roommates is very passive

1099
00:59:20,760 --> 00:59:22,680
Speaker 1: aggressive of him to say that you should talk from

1100
00:59:22,720 --> 00:59:26,680
Speaker 1: a better place. And it also sucks when you're the

1101
00:59:26,760 --> 00:59:29,280
Speaker 1: one you are trying and then he's not. It's like, hey,

1102
00:59:29,400 --> 00:59:31,520
Speaker 1: wait a minute, Like I'm I'm actually trying to give

1103
00:59:31,560 --> 00:59:35,280
Speaker 1: you what you said you wanted, but then you're not reciprocating.

1104
00:59:35,280 --> 00:59:37,160
Speaker 1: So I can understand how, but he might just be

1105
00:59:37,520 --> 00:59:40,400
Speaker 1: shut off at this point. My guy's perspective, I'm not sure,

1106
00:59:41,040 --> 00:59:43,600
Speaker 1: except that she's feeling a lot of rejection because the

1107
00:59:43,640 --> 00:59:47,280
Speaker 1: rejection is not fun. But if he's giving her crap

1108
00:59:47,360 --> 00:59:51,600
Speaker 1: about it, she's trying, so yeah, I mean, that's that's tough.

1109
00:59:52,040 --> 00:59:54,760
Speaker 1: What what stinks is that they went into the new

1110
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:59,480
Speaker 1: place together starting off like that, came seeing that their roommates.

1111
00:59:59,520 --> 01:00:02,840
Speaker 1: So obviously this is something that was ongoing before that.

1112
01:00:03,720 --> 01:00:06,920
Speaker 1: And if he wasn't willing to stay in the relationship

1113
01:00:06,960 --> 01:00:08,400
Speaker 1: and keep working on it, they wouldn't have got a

1114
01:00:08,440 --> 01:00:10,920
Speaker 1: place together even though this was an issue. So clearly

1115
01:00:10,960 --> 01:00:13,120
Speaker 1: he still wants to be in it. They just have

1116
01:00:13,200 --> 01:00:16,320
Speaker 1: to talk about it. They have to put down their shields,

1117
01:00:16,400 --> 01:00:19,400
Speaker 1: put down their defense and just be like, look, you know.

1118
01:00:19,520 --> 01:00:21,360
Speaker 1: She can go to him like I'm sorry it's been

1119
01:00:21,400 --> 01:00:25,800
Speaker 1: this way, explain what's going on with her. But she's trying. Yes,

1120
01:00:25,880 --> 01:00:27,560
Speaker 1: I know they should talk about it, but she is.

1121
01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:31,040
Speaker 1: It's not like she's like yeah, but again, it's not.

1122
01:00:31,680 --> 01:00:33,440
Speaker 1: It's the whole thing I've said on here numerous times.

1123
01:00:33,480 --> 01:00:35,680
Speaker 1: Were not light switches, right, So if he has feelings,

1124
01:00:35,960 --> 01:00:38,680
Speaker 1: maybe these pent up feelings of resentment or whatever, torture

1125
01:00:38,800 --> 01:00:40,760
Speaker 1: because she hasn't want to be sexual in a while,

1126
01:00:41,160 --> 01:00:43,560
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden she tries one time.

1127
01:00:43,640 --> 01:00:46,440
Speaker 1: He's like, he still has resentment though he's like, no,

1128
01:00:46,640 --> 01:00:49,000
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't want to because he's got feelings

1129
01:00:49,040 --> 01:00:51,040
Speaker 1: that he hasn't expressed to her and let out. So

1130
01:00:51,160 --> 01:00:53,000
Speaker 1: he's still angry or bit or whatever it might be.

1131
01:00:53,320 --> 01:00:55,439
Speaker 1: And they just moved in together a couple of months

1132
01:00:55,480 --> 01:00:57,680
Speaker 1: ago that it sounds like they need to talk about more,

1133
01:00:58,280 --> 01:01:03,320
Speaker 1: like there's there's a different issue. Maybe, yeah, definitely, maybe

1134
01:01:03,400 --> 01:01:06,720
Speaker 1: he's having second thoughts that they moved in together. You

1135
01:01:06,800 --> 01:01:09,560
Speaker 1: might be freaking him out. Yeah, I mean that's a

1136
01:01:09,600 --> 01:01:12,240
Speaker 1: big step. I feel like guys can definitely freak out. Absolutely.

1137
01:01:12,680 --> 01:01:15,200
Speaker 1: Did we get any paid forwards? As a matter of fact,

1138
01:01:15,240 --> 01:01:20,040
Speaker 1: we did. Terry emailed us a story an older handicap

1139
01:01:20,120 --> 01:01:22,120
Speaker 1: man was in front of her the grocery store and

1140
01:01:22,160 --> 01:01:25,560
Speaker 1: he was fifty two dollars short on his bill. The

1141
01:01:25,680 --> 01:01:27,880
Speaker 1: groceries were all bagged and he was a mess. He

1142
01:01:27,920 --> 01:01:30,720
Speaker 1: didn't know what to do, so I yelled, I'll pay it.

1143
01:01:31,840 --> 01:01:34,040
Speaker 1: I paid. I can't really afford to do that, but

1144
01:01:34,120 --> 01:01:36,080
Speaker 1: I just said i'd pay it. He said thank you,

1145
01:01:36,320 --> 01:01:38,200
Speaker 1: and I said Mary Christmas. I have no idea why

1146
01:01:38,240 --> 01:01:42,480
Speaker 1: I said that. I love her. The clerk said, that

1147
01:01:42,600 --> 01:01:44,080
Speaker 1: was so nice of you. All I could say was

1148
01:01:44,160 --> 01:01:45,760
Speaker 1: I was a single mother of three and in my

1149
01:01:45,960 --> 01:01:48,400
Speaker 1: very worst of time, somebody helped me. And I hope

1150
01:01:48,440 --> 01:01:54,520
Speaker 1: he enjoyed his food. Sweet that Terry. Did you guys,

1151
01:01:54,600 --> 01:01:57,000
Speaker 1: did you guys pay it forward? This week? We fed meters.

1152
01:01:57,560 --> 01:02:01,280
Speaker 1: I love that. Yeah, that's awesome some yeah, you know,

1153
01:02:01,360 --> 01:02:03,440
Speaker 1: and that's one of those things. It's funny we kind

1154
01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:05,920
Speaker 1: of sent that challenge out in Janna and I were

1155
01:02:05,920 --> 01:02:08,440
Speaker 1: trying to We're almost trying to look for opportunities, like, oh,

1156
01:02:08,480 --> 01:02:10,840
Speaker 1: we gotta do something. That dinner we went to dinner

1157
01:02:10,920 --> 01:02:12,440
Speaker 1: date night, we went to go see Walker Hayes and

1158
01:02:12,480 --> 01:02:14,000
Speaker 1: we had dinner before and he's like, hey, let's pay

1159
01:02:14,080 --> 01:02:16,800
Speaker 1: for you know, they must be celebrating some let's pay

1160
01:02:16,800 --> 01:02:18,480
Speaker 1: for their meal. And I'm like, like it was just

1161
01:02:18,680 --> 01:02:20,040
Speaker 1: we were trying to figure it out about it to

1162
01:02:20,080 --> 01:02:23,560
Speaker 1: be for Yeah, we're trying. We realized we're trying too hard,

1163
01:02:23,600 --> 01:02:25,720
Speaker 1: and it's like the whole pay for things like it

1164
01:02:26,080 --> 01:02:29,400
Speaker 1: just comes to you. Situation comes to you, and if

1165
01:02:29,440 --> 01:02:31,760
Speaker 1: it doesn't in a week, that's fine. It's okay, but

1166
01:02:32,160 --> 01:02:34,880
Speaker 1: you know, situation day walking to the store to pick

1167
01:02:34,920 --> 01:02:37,160
Speaker 1: up some things and walked by a couple of meters

1168
01:02:37,200 --> 01:02:39,560
Speaker 1: and we saw someone red and saw some fewer running out.

1169
01:02:40,040 --> 01:02:42,040
Speaker 1: Let's just feed these. But I felt stressed out though,

1170
01:02:42,480 --> 01:02:45,439
Speaker 1: because we didn't have like the opportunities didn't really come.

1171
01:02:46,360 --> 01:02:47,680
Speaker 1: So I was like, oh, we have to have We

1172
01:02:47,760 --> 01:02:49,840
Speaker 1: can't say that we didn't do anything, you know, but

1173
01:02:49,960 --> 01:02:53,320
Speaker 1: it becomes Yeah, it's like the opportunity has to be there,

1174
01:02:53,400 --> 01:02:55,200
Speaker 1: so you have to be aware of those opportunities when

1175
01:02:55,200 --> 01:02:57,480
Speaker 1: they're there. Did you do anything, It's okay if you didn't. Yeah,

1176
01:02:57,520 --> 01:03:00,680
Speaker 1: I did my huge you know, the contact always pay

1177
01:03:00,720 --> 01:03:04,280
Speaker 1: it forward with coffee, um, And I ordered a coffee

1178
01:03:04,320 --> 01:03:07,280
Speaker 1: maker for the staff here because you know, coffee is

1179
01:03:07,320 --> 01:03:09,640
Speaker 1: my thing and everybody is always trying to get a

1180
01:03:09,680 --> 01:03:11,280
Speaker 1: cup of coffee here. And I was like, why don't

1181
01:03:11,280 --> 01:03:13,640
Speaker 1: we have a why don't we have coffee here? Good coffee?

1182
01:03:14,320 --> 01:03:17,000
Speaker 1: That's rights Instagram and she had a she said thank you,

1183
01:03:17,360 --> 01:03:20,600
Speaker 1: Oh she did. Yeah, Oh that's okay. Um, And uh,

1184
01:03:21,200 --> 01:03:25,000
Speaker 1: you know, just the usual trying to pay it forward

1185
01:03:25,080 --> 01:03:27,760
Speaker 1: on a regular basis, trying to make people happy, make

1186
01:03:27,800 --> 01:03:31,280
Speaker 1: their day, easier bringing bagels in all that stuff. Did

1187
01:03:31,360 --> 01:03:34,520
Speaker 1: you pay for this week? For sure? But now this

1188
01:03:34,680 --> 01:03:38,840
Speaker 1: coming week will for sure? Last week I didn't. I

1189
01:03:38,880 --> 01:03:41,680
Speaker 1: don't go places or do things, so it's hard. It's

1190
01:03:41,680 --> 01:03:43,040
Speaker 1: hard if you don't, if you just go to work

1191
01:03:43,080 --> 01:03:45,440
Speaker 1: at home, it's hard to find the right opportunity. Absolutely,

1192
01:03:47,080 --> 01:03:49,240
Speaker 1: I do so much for so many people on a

1193
01:03:49,360 --> 01:03:51,960
Speaker 1: regular basis. It's hard to slate just one. But you

1194
01:03:52,000 --> 01:03:54,200
Speaker 1: know something I've been doing a lot, Well, know something

1195
01:03:54,240 --> 01:03:56,760
Speaker 1: I've been doing a lot of, actually is when I'm

1196
01:03:56,800 --> 01:04:04,520
Speaker 1: out Well, no grandiosity at its finest. No, No, I'm

1197
01:04:04,560 --> 01:04:08,120
Speaker 1: just I'm just better than everybody else. That's all. That's

1198
01:04:08,120 --> 01:04:13,520
Speaker 1: all it is. Surely you can understand. I was at

1199
01:04:13,520 --> 01:04:15,280
Speaker 1: the mall the other day and the scroll working at

1200
01:04:15,320 --> 01:04:20,960
Speaker 1: the clothing store Vans was struggling to move some product

1201
01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:23,560
Speaker 1: that was on the upper shelf. And I'm tall like

1202
01:04:23,640 --> 01:04:26,320
Speaker 1: to think of myself as a reacher, so I put

1203
01:04:26,400 --> 01:04:29,240
Speaker 1: myself on the clock for longer than I had anticipated

1204
01:04:29,280 --> 01:04:31,240
Speaker 1: and helped to move these things around. But it made

1205
01:04:31,240 --> 01:04:33,040
Speaker 1: me feel very good. I hope to think, I hope

1206
01:04:33,080 --> 01:04:35,240
Speaker 1: to think that her day was better because of that.

1207
01:04:35,520 --> 01:04:37,919
Speaker 1: I'm sure it was. It made her day easier. Yeah,

1208
01:04:38,240 --> 01:04:40,640
Speaker 1: that's cool. You know one thing too, I was just

1209
01:04:40,680 --> 01:04:42,200
Speaker 1: thinking of it came to me when you're talking about

1210
01:04:42,320 --> 01:04:45,920
Speaker 1: something that lady was. I was at Walgreen's yesterday and

1211
01:04:46,520 --> 01:04:49,000
Speaker 1: this one clerk there is super talkative. You know a

1212
01:04:49,080 --> 01:04:50,560
Speaker 1: lot of times when you go to the stories, you

1213
01:04:50,600 --> 01:04:52,520
Speaker 1: just want to get in, get out, grab your stuff.

1214
01:04:53,120 --> 01:04:56,120
Speaker 1: And I sat there like talk to him and conversed

1215
01:04:56,200 --> 01:04:58,880
Speaker 1: with him for longer than I maybe usually would, and

1216
01:04:59,240 --> 01:05:01,240
Speaker 1: he seemed very apreciative and shook my hand when I

1217
01:05:01,320 --> 01:05:04,000
Speaker 1: was leaving and stuff like that. But just Eastern telling

1218
01:05:04,120 --> 01:05:06,080
Speaker 1: that like that could even be paid forward, Like even

1219
01:05:06,160 --> 01:05:09,080
Speaker 1: talk to somebody that's helping you were working somewhere that

1220
01:05:09,440 --> 01:05:11,479
Speaker 1: normally blow them off like I gotta go, I'm busy.

1221
01:05:11,760 --> 01:05:15,320
Speaker 1: You're right, Yes, you gave your time on right, which

1222
01:05:15,400 --> 01:05:17,880
Speaker 1: is the most valuable thing you can give, speaking of

1223
01:05:17,920 --> 01:05:20,320
Speaker 1: all grains. When I was going to pick up the prescription,

1224
01:05:20,440 --> 01:05:23,160
Speaker 1: there was this older couple there. It was such a

1225
01:05:23,240 --> 01:05:25,320
Speaker 1: long line and I was waiting forever, and I was like,

1226
01:05:25,880 --> 01:05:27,480
Speaker 1: maybe she should like let them go in front of me,

1227
01:05:27,520 --> 01:05:31,760
Speaker 1: and I was like, no, maybe that could him a

1228
01:05:31,760 --> 01:05:34,800
Speaker 1: pay for it. Now I think of something else, like like,

1229
01:05:35,120 --> 01:05:44,120
Speaker 1: I don't want to wait any longer, just like keeping

1230
01:05:44,160 --> 01:05:48,560
Speaker 1: it real. But I really truly intended to do something.

1231
01:05:49,400 --> 01:05:51,640
Speaker 1: Your heart was in the right place. But I was like,

1232
01:05:52,320 --> 01:05:54,440
Speaker 1: and she was so sweet. She was a little lunchback

1233
01:05:54,480 --> 01:05:56,000
Speaker 1: old lady. And I was like, I love that. That

1234
01:05:56,400 --> 01:06:00,680
Speaker 1: that what was her name? I love that. Terry said

1235
01:06:00,720 --> 01:06:03,120
Speaker 1: Merry Christmas. That's like when you go to movies and

1236
01:06:03,160 --> 01:06:09,440
Speaker 1: they say enjoy your movie, like here you too, you anywhere?

1237
01:06:09,880 --> 01:06:13,160
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. So this was a really fun show

1238
01:06:13,280 --> 01:06:15,840
Speaker 1: and got heated. It was fun. It was funny. A

1239
01:06:16,000 --> 01:06:19,800
Speaker 1: huge thank you to our guests and also to Legacy Box.

1240
01:06:19,880 --> 01:06:22,640
Speaker 1: Go to Legacy Box dot com slash Janna to say

1241
01:06:22,720 --> 01:06:26,600
Speaker 1: forty percent off today. Thrive Market get off your first

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01:06:26,720 --> 01:06:29,160
Speaker 1: order and get a free thirty day trial at thrive

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Speaker 1: market dot com. Slash China Carbon thirty eight go to

1244
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Speaker 1: Carbon thirty eight dot com and use promo code wine

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01:06:36,000 --> 01:06:39,680
Speaker 1: for off your purchase. So I love you guys. That

1246
01:06:39,800 --> 01:06:42,919
Speaker 1: was so much fun. I cannot wait. I cannot wait

1247
01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:45,120
Speaker 1: to wind down and see how the strike went this week.

1248
01:06:45,240 --> 01:06:46,720
Speaker 1: That was that was a heated one. I feel like

1249
01:06:46,720 --> 01:06:49,640
Speaker 1: we're gonna get a lot of emails. Ladies. The strike

1250
01:06:49,760 --> 01:06:51,960
Speaker 1: begins now and I want to hear how the week went,

1251
01:06:52,120 --> 01:06:55,200
Speaker 1: so email us please at Jenna Craman. I heart media

1252
01:06:55,240 --> 01:06:58,960
Speaker 1: dot com. Let the strike begin. Wind Down next week. Oh,

1253
01:06:59,080 --> 01:07:02,000
Speaker 1: one more thing before we go next week. Oh, next week,

1254
01:07:02,080 --> 01:07:04,080
Speaker 1: my girlfriend Kristin Cavalary is coming on the show. I

1255
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Speaker 1: love her. Yeah, she's the best. She's so awesome. So

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Speaker 1: can't wait. Can't wait to chat with her because we

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Speaker 1: talked about married life a couple of weeks ago and

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Speaker 1: I was like, I need you on the show. So

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Speaker 1: that's gonna be fun. Christ and Cavalary next week. Wind

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Speaker 1: Down