1
00:00:02,240 --> 00:00:05,320
Speaker 1: What's up, We're back it slip service some angela Yee,

2
00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:10,160
Speaker 1: I'm g G. Maguire, I'm Jeordie George and named Jerry Johnson. Yes, man, jump.

3
00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:13,840
Speaker 1: They sound like a famous name already. It really yeah, period,

4
00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:16,599
Speaker 1: I just your name when you were born, they were like, she's.

5
00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:20,079
Speaker 2: And the thing is, my name was supposed to be

6
00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:24,520
Speaker 2: Rashida okay, but when my my dad wasn't in the hospital,

7
00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:26,920
Speaker 2: my dad's name is Jerry. This is gonna be crazy.

8
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:30,120
Speaker 2: I'm not even gonna tell the whole story. But my dad's

9
00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:33,000
Speaker 2: name is Jerry, and my grandfather was like, you should

10
00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:36,000
Speaker 2: name her Jerry, and so then my mom said yes

11
00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:39,000
Speaker 2: because she wanted my grandfather to approval. So then my

12
00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:41,440
Speaker 2: name became Jerry Johnson. And at first I was like,

13
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:43,440
Speaker 2: I don't like this as the boy's name, and then

14
00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:48,080
Speaker 2: I was like, it's just a rich I love it.

15
00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:51,160
Speaker 1: I like names that are like, okay, like what's another

16
00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:56,080
Speaker 1: name that could be, like, okay, Terry Jordan Jordan's. I

17
00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:56,840
Speaker 1: felt the same way.

18
00:00:56,920 --> 00:01:03,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, I wanted something very feminine actually, you know, like

19
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,760
Speaker 3: something more like looks.

20
00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:09,320
Speaker 1: But then I really love my name. Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah,

21
00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:12,759
Speaker 1: so you know, like, you don't know who's coming that

22
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:13,840
Speaker 1: part at all, like.

23
00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:17,480
Speaker 2: And at the hotel they were like mister Johnson, and

24
00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:19,119
Speaker 2: I'm like, right.

25
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:22,679
Speaker 1: Like sorry, you know what I love when I'm at

26
00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:25,119
Speaker 1: the hotel with my boyfriend and they're like mister ye

27
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:33,800
Speaker 1: and he's like mister ye, and I'd be like, mister y,

28
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:38,040
Speaker 1: you better listen. This brings us to one conversation though,

29
00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:42,720
Speaker 1: changing last names, because congratulations on your engagement and you

30
00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:47,720
Speaker 1: proposed me. What was your heart feeling like when that happened.

31
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:51,680
Speaker 2: I was nervous the whole time because I'm also a perfectionist,

32
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:54,080
Speaker 2: and so I'm like, Okay, we're gonna do it. You know,

33
00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:56,320
Speaker 2: I was planning the whole thing. And she was there,

34
00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:59,640
Speaker 2: and she's a producer, and so you can't really get

35
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:02,880
Speaker 2: nothing as a producer. So I'm trying to produce this

36
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:06,520
Speaker 2: proposal to a producer, and I'm just like, you know

37
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,680
Speaker 2: what if she knows what's going on, is it's gonna

38
00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:10,320
Speaker 2: be too much Because she also is not like a

39
00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:13,760
Speaker 2: she don't always like to be in the forefront of things,

40
00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:17,680
Speaker 2: and so I was nervous. But my sister was there

41
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,720
Speaker 2: and she knew what was going on, and I had

42
00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,720
Speaker 2: this woman that I met at this other podcast that

43
00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:25,400
Speaker 2: I did, who was from Jamaica, who like set up

44
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:28,120
Speaker 2: a bunch of things for me, and so it was

45
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:31,240
Speaker 2: nerve wrecking. But then when the moment happened, it was

46
00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:33,960
Speaker 2: just like everything okay, okay, okay, okay okay, and she

47
00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:37,919
Speaker 2: just was in tears. But then also the cameras were overwhelming,

48
00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,000
Speaker 2: but we had to get the pick. It was just

49
00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:42,919
Speaker 2: it was crazy, but it was it ended up being

50
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:46,040
Speaker 2: really nice and beautiful. And then I was like, let's

51
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:48,520
Speaker 2: stay in Jamaica for longer. So we extended the chest

52
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:49,919
Speaker 2: and I love Jamaica.

53
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:56,280
Speaker 3: So we sing yeah, okay when I say slamming killed, yes,

54
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,720
Speaker 3: you know, I love to take a little thigh out

55
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:08,160
Speaker 3: than a die. You gotta remind you posts well you

56
00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:09,000
Speaker 3: reminded us.

57
00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:15,240
Speaker 1: But congratulations, congratulations. Now last name, So did y'all have

58
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:16,440
Speaker 1: the last name discussion?

59
00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:20,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's probably gonna do a little hyphen it, you know,

60
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,519
Speaker 2: but I'm gonna stay Jerry Johnson.

61
00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:26,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, professionally, all of you guys though professionally it's right.

62
00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:31,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so so you know she can but like

63
00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:35,200
Speaker 2: her big thing is like produced by Dria. She usually

64
00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:38,400
Speaker 2: uses her first name mostly so changing her last name

65
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:42,280
Speaker 2: might not like change the brand of her because it's

66
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:43,800
Speaker 2: Dria is her brand.

67
00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:46,760
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, you know, it's so interesting just watching you

68
00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:49,839
Speaker 1: on Harlem. Season three. We got it, by the way,

69
00:03:49,880 --> 00:03:51,640
Speaker 1: we did get a sneaky, We got a sneaky the

70
00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:52,640
Speaker 1: first three very much.

71
00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:58,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's very very three.

72
00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:01,119
Speaker 1: Seasons one and two, you got some issues.

73
00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:07,720
Speaker 3: Okay, So you say I was watching that therapists break

74
00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:08,680
Speaker 3: down your character.

75
00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:12,320
Speaker 1: Wow, there was a therapist in the whole post from

76
00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:15,480
Speaker 1: seasons one and two and broke down like you know,

77
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:19,440
Speaker 1: tied from the perspective of someone who is like got

78
00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:20,640
Speaker 1: attachment issues.

79
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:25,160
Speaker 2: Tell me, did you see this?

80
00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:30,000
Speaker 1: I did that? Somebody's really like sat there and broke

81
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:30,880
Speaker 1: it down.

82
00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:33,719
Speaker 2: I love Island and stuff like that.

83
00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:39,440
Speaker 3: Like me really yeah, someone like saw scene and like

84
00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,560
Speaker 3: analyzed it was like a body language.

85
00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:44,280
Speaker 1: Summer House, marke this vineyard she's on she's on that.

86
00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:48,160
Speaker 2: My friend Jazzmine. I love Jazz And so I mean

87
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,480
Speaker 2: I love the show by the way, you know, and

88
00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:51,120
Speaker 2: I love you.

89
00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:51,800
Speaker 1: Oh thank you.

90
00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:57,440
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm fine, But also I love that you

91
00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:00,640
Speaker 2: are so honest and vulnerable and feel from the show.

92
00:05:00,680 --> 00:05:04,640
Speaker 2: And so if somebody's doing a body language test for me.

93
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:06,760
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, I could just be like that's just Tie,

94
00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:07,880
Speaker 2: but it's.

95
00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:09,960
Speaker 1: Like right, yeah, yeah.

96
00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:13,680
Speaker 3: She was just breaking down the scene where I had

97
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:17,560
Speaker 3: to cust Alex out and she was saying like, okay,

98
00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,960
Speaker 3: this is him saying and that's when you see her

99
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:20,400
Speaker 3: go like.

100
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:21,760
Speaker 1: This, she's trying to hold it in.

101
00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:25,159
Speaker 3: She's trying to be conscious and then she's like oh

102
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,240
Speaker 3: and then you see the layer kind of break where

103
00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:27,640
Speaker 3: her body.

104
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,760
Speaker 1: It was very interesting and it was was it on point?

105
00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:30,120
Speaker 2: You think?

106
00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:32,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, it was me on pointing. I've been following

107
00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,680
Speaker 3: her for years, so that was even better. I was like, okay,

108
00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:37,680
Speaker 3: because I know she has the teeth right, and so

109
00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:42,000
Speaker 3: you don't even realize certain things that you do when

110
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,200
Speaker 3: you're even like telling a lie, or like you're trying

111
00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:45,960
Speaker 3: to hold something in, or when you're not even aware

112
00:05:45,960 --> 00:05:50,120
Speaker 3: of something subconsciously, your body's telling you all of everything

113
00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:52,080
Speaker 3: me my face will say it and plus none of

114
00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:53,240
Speaker 3: us lie.

115
00:05:53,360 --> 00:06:01,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that.

116
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:02,760
Speaker 2: So what did she say about Tie?

117
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:07,920
Speaker 1: So she was talking about TI's issues with commitment, and

118
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:10,520
Speaker 1: then also what else did she say about Tie? I'm

119
00:06:10,520 --> 00:06:12,880
Speaker 1: trying to remember, like and this is just from seasons

120
00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:17,680
Speaker 1: one and two. Childhood trauma she talked about because there

121
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:19,840
Speaker 1: was a scene where it was like kind of brought

122
00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:22,719
Speaker 1: up but not fully addressed about things in the past

123
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:27,039
Speaker 1: and maybe Tie's grandmother, you know, having you know, it

124
00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:29,120
Speaker 1: was like very yeah things. I was like, oh, yeah,

125
00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:29,880
Speaker 1: that did happen.

126
00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:35,200
Speaker 2: Yes, And for us it's like I especially season one,

127
00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:39,560
Speaker 2: I was having to build like what I thought my

128
00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:45,480
Speaker 2: backstory was until the writers unfolded to me whatever the

129
00:06:46,279 --> 00:06:50,479
Speaker 2: thing was, and so what the biggest I think the

130
00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:56,600
Speaker 2: biggest maybe challenge for Jerry as an actor was trying

131
00:06:56,640 --> 00:07:03,920
Speaker 2: to justify how someone without judgment could leave their family

132
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:11,960
Speaker 2: for so long. Now my family they some raw, but

133
00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:15,480
Speaker 2: I would not dare you know, like my sister who's

134
00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:19,280
Speaker 2: a camera corn sometimes we don't talk for a little bit,

135
00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:25,000
Speaker 2: but then I'll say, get it together because we're blood.

136
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:28,600
Speaker 2: And my mom, as crazy as she was like, we

137
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:31,840
Speaker 2: weren't even allowed to I'm one of seven. We weren't

138
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:35,600
Speaker 2: even allowed to fight or are you in public? Well so,

139
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:38,240
Speaker 2: And I didn't know that that was a big thing

140
00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:43,520
Speaker 2: until I went to college and people just be saying

141
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:46,200
Speaker 2: don't they And I'm like, now I might say that

142
00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:48,080
Speaker 2: in the house or in my mind or to my

143
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:51,080
Speaker 2: other sibling. But I'm not say that out loud.

144
00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:54,240
Speaker 1: I don't argue with nobody in public period at all.

145
00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:56,080
Speaker 1: I'm not even gonna The other day, I was on

146
00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:58,640
Speaker 1: the phone and somebody's walking past me screaming on the phone.

147
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:02,200
Speaker 1: I want to be that ever, that is New York

148
00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:05,800
Speaker 1: very much. It was like, what's happening out there? Very

149
00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:09,200
Speaker 1: much in public? Yeah, I think we had to have

150
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:12,520
Speaker 1: that's different. Yeah, that's a company.

151
00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:16,440
Speaker 2: I don't like it. I don't like public disagreements. I

152
00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:19,760
Speaker 2: just don't think that they're necessary. I'm a very much

153
00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:20,960
Speaker 2: like keep it containing.

154
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,920
Speaker 1: The other thing that she was saying, and now I'm

155
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,960
Speaker 1: remembering everything that she said. She was also talking about

156
00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:29,240
Speaker 1: and ty got money and we realized that when you

157
00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:32,920
Speaker 1: had to give, you know, the check to your ex husband,

158
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:35,520
Speaker 1: right because he won it half or whatever, and it

159
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,720
Speaker 1: was like, okay, she slid over that check. It was

160
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:38,959
Speaker 1: like she was like I thought it was gonna be

161
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,800
Speaker 1: one hundred thousand. It was like one point seven million

162
00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,440
Speaker 1: or something like whatever the number was.

163
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:48,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, so yeah, making it also being the person who

164
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,800
Speaker 2: made it in your family, and like I know, I

165
00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:55,240
Speaker 2: can relate to that in a lot of ways because

166
00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:57,480
Speaker 2: I'm the I'm the youngest girl, but I have two

167
00:08:57,600 --> 00:09:02,080
Speaker 2: brothers under me, and I have a sister who was

168
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:04,720
Speaker 2: in a military who is a nurse, who is doing

169
00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:08,760
Speaker 2: very well for herself. But most of my siblings, especially

170
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,200
Speaker 2: my brothers, like I want them to do more than

171
00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:14,080
Speaker 2: what they're doing. But two of them are in prison,

172
00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:16,959
Speaker 2: and my other brother, my youngest brother, is trying to

173
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:22,240
Speaker 2: get it together. And so it's interesting being the youngest

174
00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:25,280
Speaker 2: and being the first to do a lot of things,

175
00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:28,880
Speaker 2: the first to leave my mom's house to go to college,

176
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:33,120
Speaker 2: the only one to get a master's degree in my family, Like,

177
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,320
Speaker 2: there was a lot that I just had to learn

178
00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:38,360
Speaker 2: from myself. And so when people were like, oh, yeah,

179
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:40,360
Speaker 2: like I need some money, to let me call home,

180
00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:43,400
Speaker 2: I'm like, no, when they need some money, they call me,

181
00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:45,160
Speaker 2: and I'm here, like.

182
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:47,040
Speaker 1: The youngest, you know what I mean.

183
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:50,080
Speaker 2: I'm I'm looking at for every twenty one or whatever,

184
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:54,199
Speaker 2: trying to get it together, and they're leaning on me

185
00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:57,880
Speaker 2: for this thing. So then naturally, as I got older

186
00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:00,360
Speaker 2: and I came into the industry, it feels like a

187
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:04,160
Speaker 2: it feels like I it sometimes feels like I'm the

188
00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:09,080
Speaker 2: oldest sister, right and through experience, I have way more

189
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:13,440
Speaker 2: experience than than some of most of my siblings, and

190
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:16,200
Speaker 2: so in some aspects, like I'm able to give them

191
00:10:16,440 --> 00:10:22,439
Speaker 2: some advice, but it is for tie, like figuring out

192
00:10:22,559 --> 00:10:26,119
Speaker 2: like what does it mean to leave home and then

193
00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:30,280
Speaker 2: not come back? But what happens in those years, like

194
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:33,760
Speaker 2: it gets harder to go. You know, maybe after college

195
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,720
Speaker 2: you thought, Okay, after this, I'm gonna and then you

196
00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:38,440
Speaker 2: come out and you're living your life in New York

197
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:41,160
Speaker 2: and maybe it's like, well, after I sell this company,

198
00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:43,240
Speaker 2: I'm gonna after I do this, I'm gonna after I

199
00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:45,560
Speaker 2: after I after I after, and then all.

200
00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:49,040
Speaker 1: These years just later and you keep on pushing the bus.

201
00:10:49,559 --> 00:10:51,760
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yeah.

202
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,360
Speaker 1: You know you went to school for creative and performing

203
00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:55,960
Speaker 1: arts from when you were in high school, so nobody

204
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,680
Speaker 1: else in your family was in that field.

205
00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:05,760
Speaker 2: My aunt was a was a perform Oh my god,

206
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:12,400
Speaker 2: I'm like, are we going here? My aunt, whom I

207
00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:16,360
Speaker 2: loved in the door growing up, I had went to

208
00:11:16,559 --> 00:11:18,560
Speaker 2: Kappa as well, and so I felt like I was

209
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:24,840
Speaker 2: maybe following in her footsteps. And she had a production company,

210
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:28,680
Speaker 2: she has a she's a management com she's a manager,

211
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:33,720
Speaker 2: and so I was like, oh, she wants what's best

212
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:36,520
Speaker 2: for me. She's saved me from my mom a lot

213
00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:44,319
Speaker 2: of times. And then I was going to college and uh,

214
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:49,400
Speaker 2: something shifted, and she you know, told me she was

215
00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:52,160
Speaker 2: going to assue me if I worked for anybody else,

216
00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:55,640
Speaker 2: because I signed a contract for her at sixteen, and

217
00:11:55,679 --> 00:11:58,240
Speaker 2: I'm like, wait, that was a real thing. And she

218
00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:00,320
Speaker 2: really didn't have me sign a contract, but my I

219
00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:03,760
Speaker 2: was like, girl, I got that off Google, like and

220
00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:06,679
Speaker 2: so right. And so it was like really crazy to me,

221
00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:10,440
Speaker 2: this switch. And there was a lot of things that happened.

222
00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,480
Speaker 2: But I was living with her at the time, and

223
00:12:12,559 --> 00:12:14,839
Speaker 2: I had been staying with my mom. So when I

224
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:18,960
Speaker 2: went to college, naturally I had to go get my stuff. Child.

225
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,839
Speaker 2: She didn't give me anything. I went to college with

226
00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:25,120
Speaker 2: like a backpack full of stuff all of my class.

227
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:28,320
Speaker 2: I was working two jobs okay before that summer to

228
00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:31,760
Speaker 2: like get enough stuff to say in order to you know,

229
00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:34,640
Speaker 2: none of my because I was writing poetry. None of

230
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:39,920
Speaker 2: my poetry books. That's nothing, none of the thing precisely.

231
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:42,720
Speaker 2: But and then I was like so mad. I was

232
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,800
Speaker 2: so mad, and I was mad at my family because

233
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,880
Speaker 2: I'm like, is everybody so afraid of her that nobody

234
00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:50,760
Speaker 2: could go get my stuff? Like she was not, you know.

235
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,480
Speaker 2: And so then one of my aunts was like, as

236
00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:57,400
Speaker 2: long as you want that stuff, she has power over you.

237
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:02,679
Speaker 2: And that was my first lesson and non attachment. And

238
00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:06,160
Speaker 2: so once I released that, I was like, oh, okay,

239
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:08,760
Speaker 2: And it was hard because I'm like, but what about

240
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:11,559
Speaker 2: like this sweater that I got from this aunt that

241
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:15,560
Speaker 2: then you know, passed away, or this vintage thing, or

242
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:18,320
Speaker 2: like I was working, I don't I don't have nobody

243
00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:21,360
Speaker 2: to support me. I'm supporting me. And then to like

244
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:25,199
Speaker 2: be so upset this person that I loved and trusted

245
00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:26,240
Speaker 2: and looked up to, like.

246
00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:29,040
Speaker 1: And you're a kid, yes, like you're still a kid,

247
00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:29,680
Speaker 1: and this.

248
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:32,480
Speaker 2: Is my first time moving away somewhere and now I

249
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:35,079
Speaker 2: don't have anything anything, and so shout out to me.

250
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,360
Speaker 2: My boyfriend at the time, him and his mom just

251
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:42,320
Speaker 2: kind of helped me down and she would get me

252
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:44,400
Speaker 2: stuff when she could. She brought me a cold because

253
00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:47,480
Speaker 2: it was cold as heck at Penn State, and she

254
00:13:47,679 --> 00:13:51,280
Speaker 2: helped me down. But yeah, still to this day, I

255
00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:55,400
Speaker 2: haven't seen any of that stuff. And I think she

256
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,160
Speaker 2: she's been trying to come back into my life.

257
00:13:57,679 --> 00:13:58,760
Speaker 1: It's going well, and.

258
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:04,319
Speaker 2: That's I think. Yeah, so it's been tough. I mean,

259
00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:08,760
Speaker 2: she's probably gonna message me after this.

260
00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:11,240
Speaker 1: Was there an apology? You can't just try to come

261
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:12,160
Speaker 1: back and not even.

262
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:15,080
Speaker 2: There was a there was a there was a Four

263
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:18,640
Speaker 2: years later, I went to my cousin's birthday and she

264
00:14:18,679 --> 00:14:20,800
Speaker 2: and my little cousin was like my little brother, and

265
00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:22,640
Speaker 2: she wouldn't even allow him to talk to me, Like

266
00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:24,160
Speaker 2: when I would come in the house and he would

267
00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:26,760
Speaker 2: try to say hi to me, to like come get myself,

268
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,760
Speaker 2: she would make him not speak to me.

269
00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:32,400
Speaker 1: I don't understand what flip that switch. It was just

270
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:32,920
Speaker 1: that terrible.

271
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:38,760
Speaker 2: And that's something that I also was, like.

272
00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:41,120
Speaker 3: People even see the potential in somebody else and what

273
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:47,320
Speaker 3: their dream was, instead of like encouraging and aiding that process,

274
00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:50,000
Speaker 3: I feel like they become resentful sometimes.

275
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:53,480
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, and so so so we I went

276
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:56,760
Speaker 2: to this party and she had it was like an apology,

277
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:59,320
Speaker 2: but then she immediately was like, but I have this

278
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:02,360
Speaker 2: audition if you want to go right, which did feel

279
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:04,080
Speaker 2: like an apology for me. It feels like you want

280
00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:08,800
Speaker 2: me to work right. And then she kept it was like,

281
00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:12,520
Speaker 2: she I didn't feel resolved in twenty twenty was the

282
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,440
Speaker 2: year of truth and reconciliation for me. So it was like,

283
00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:17,400
Speaker 2: if you are my family member and there's something we

284
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,520
Speaker 2: didn't talk about, if you are not willing to talk

285
00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:21,160
Speaker 2: about it, then you just can't be in my life.

286
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:25,200
Speaker 2: And so she came to New York and she was like, yeah,

287
00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:27,920
Speaker 2: let's go out to dinner and da da da da da.

288
00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:31,000
Speaker 2: And so I was like, we went to dinner, and

289
00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:34,400
Speaker 2: I was like, listen, I really need to talk to

290
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:38,920
Speaker 2: you about how much you hurt me. I confided in you.

291
00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:41,880
Speaker 2: I felt like you were a savior to me, and

292
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:44,800
Speaker 2: then all of a sudden you switched into like do

293
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,240
Speaker 2: what you did to me was really painful. And she

294
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,120
Speaker 2: was like, well, you know, I was hurt too. I

295
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,080
Speaker 2: felt like because at one point I needed her to

296
00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:57,280
Speaker 2: co sign for a loan for me, and I kept

297
00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:59,360
Speaker 2: asking her and kept asking her, and after a while

298
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:00,760
Speaker 2: I figured she could and do it, which is why

299
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,480
Speaker 2: she wasn't responding to me. But it wasn't a big

300
00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:04,160
Speaker 2: deal to me.

301
00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:06,480
Speaker 1: It's like I can't tell me now right, I figured

302
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:07,880
Speaker 1: tell me now the fast you tell me now?

303
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:12,240
Speaker 2: The fast I figured, and so she was like, basically,

304
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:14,640
Speaker 2: you know, she didn't have it. She felt like everybody

305
00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:17,040
Speaker 2: was mad at her for not having it. And then

306
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:19,280
Speaker 2: when I told her I couldn't do her fashion show,

307
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:22,000
Speaker 2: she felt like I was trying to do stuff with

308
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:27,200
Speaker 2: other people. But then she turned the conversation into something

309
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:32,200
Speaker 2: else about all the people that have hurt her and

310
00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:36,760
Speaker 2: all this other stuff. And this is when I was like, oh,

311
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:39,880
Speaker 2: I'm never going to this person is never going to

312
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:43,600
Speaker 2: say to me, I fucked up and I'm sorry for that,

313
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:47,960
Speaker 2: and that's it. It's always going to be about something yet,

314
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:49,359
Speaker 2: and it's always gonna.

315
00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:50,640
Speaker 1: Go through personal back to her.

316
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,080
Speaker 2: It's always going to go back to her. And so

317
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:56,120
Speaker 2: if I want to engage in that sort of behavior,

318
00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:59,160
Speaker 2: I have to know she's never going to admit it.

319
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:05,320
Speaker 2: And then I gave her one more chance. She was

320
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:08,000
Speaker 2: coming to New York because my little cousins and actor

321
00:17:08,119 --> 00:17:15,399
Speaker 2: as well under her company. He was he was yeah, okay,

322
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:17,240
Speaker 2: he was doing an episode of Law and Order, and

323
00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:18,800
Speaker 2: so they needed to come. They needed a place to

324
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,719
Speaker 2: stay in New York. And so at the time, my

325
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:23,080
Speaker 2: fiance still had her apartment and I had my my

326
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:25,280
Speaker 2: condo in Harlem. So I was like, we'll stay there

327
00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:28,600
Speaker 2: and they can stay in your apartment. And she was like,

328
00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:31,120
Speaker 2: but she has to bring you your stuff. That has

329
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:31,520
Speaker 2: to be.

330
00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:37,160
Speaker 1: The the okay, that's there. Yeah, I'm like, I need

331
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:38,360
Speaker 1: those poetry.

332
00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:42,320
Speaker 3: Journals and broke in while she was.

333
00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:46,560
Speaker 2: And she had moved, so I was like, okay. She

334
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:49,560
Speaker 2: said she had a bin full of my stuff. So

335
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:51,639
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, bring the mad and then you

336
00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:56,080
Speaker 2: can stay. Child. She come to the house and she

337
00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:58,200
Speaker 2: already chat chat chat chat chat, chat chat and chat

338
00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:01,640
Speaker 2: and chat chat and chat chat, and so I'm like okay,

339
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,800
Speaker 2: and she was like, oh no, I brought your stuff, Jay,

340
00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:06,840
Speaker 2: and she pulls out a folder.

341
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:09,800
Speaker 1: It could have been Auntie.

342
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:23,280
Speaker 2: The folder has the country award prob had like these

343
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:28,239
Speaker 2: three awards from high school, my my graduation pictures, my

344
00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:32,679
Speaker 2: sister's obituary, and a picture of me, my mom and

345
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:34,560
Speaker 2: my sister and my dad when my dad was in prison.

346
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:39,280
Speaker 2: When I was baby man, where's the sweater? Where's where's

347
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:40,040
Speaker 2: the poetry book?

348
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,280
Speaker 1: Journeys? And when I don't bring it to you?

349
00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:46,959
Speaker 2: And he was like that's why I was looking at him.

350
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,440
Speaker 2: And he's eighteen now, so he was young right. So

351
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:53,880
Speaker 2: he so I'm like, and my fiance, who's my girlfriend,

352
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:57,320
Speaker 2: she is like this, she's seeming standing at the door,

353
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:01,280
Speaker 2: right because that's her place, right, and she's like, you

354
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:04,280
Speaker 2: didn't do actually what you and you could say to me,

355
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:06,600
Speaker 2: I actually don't have as much of it as I

356
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,480
Speaker 2: said I had, and I don't know where it is.

357
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:11,240
Speaker 5: And she couldn't say that, no, this is the folder

358
00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:12,720
Speaker 5: and this is what I got, and this is be

359
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:13,280
Speaker 5: happy with.

360
00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:17,120
Speaker 2: This, right, and didn't even say like that it gave

361
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:18,879
Speaker 2: me the folder as if it was the been like,

362
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:19,840
Speaker 2: didn't say.

363
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:25,320
Speaker 1: Happy with what I got? Right, here's your contract.

364
00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:28,439
Speaker 3: But you know what, That's what I like about the

365
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:31,119
Speaker 3: show is that I feel like you guys do a

366
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:34,480
Speaker 3: really good job amongst your friends and amongst the relationships

367
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:37,800
Speaker 3: about taking accountability, and you guys are very good about

368
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:40,840
Speaker 3: being like, ooh, I fucked up. Yes I'm sorry. I

369
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:44,280
Speaker 3: see what you're saying. Yes, I'm sorry, girl, right.

370
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:48,480
Speaker 2: And I think because I in my lifetime, especially with

371
00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:53,280
Speaker 2: my family, nobody has ever taken accountability, I'm so sensitive

372
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:57,760
Speaker 2: to taking accountability. So sometimes I think I overtake accountability

373
00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:05,679
Speaker 2: because I like know that feeling somebody overcompensated. Sometimes I'm like, oh, yeah,

374
00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:09,000
Speaker 2: like my mom is my mom has never and ever

375
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:13,480
Speaker 2: apologized to me. My dad has never apologized to me,

376
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:15,360
Speaker 2: So it just feels.

377
00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:16,760
Speaker 1: Like I don't know if anybody in my family's ever

378
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:21,560
Speaker 1: apologized for anything. I literally just very team I. But

379
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:22,600
Speaker 1: I literally just left my.

380
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:26,240
Speaker 5: Therapists and we were having a conversation about my parents,

381
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:30,120
Speaker 5: and we literally just talked about conversations that we wish

382
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:34,520
Speaker 5: we had that we never did, and accountability, apologies, just

383
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:37,879
Speaker 5: speaking on things that were kind of like sensitive was

384
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:39,840
Speaker 5: definitely the topic that we just talked about. So I'm

385
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:43,600
Speaker 5: immediately drawn back to that conversation. But it sucks because

386
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:45,280
Speaker 5: at this point in my life, my parents are no

387
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,320
Speaker 5: longer here, so it's too late for me to have

388
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:51,200
Speaker 5: these conversations. So that went on to me saying like, Okay,

389
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:54,000
Speaker 5: I need to be better as a parent and make

390
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:56,359
Speaker 5: sure that these conversations I had with my daughter because

391
00:20:56,359 --> 00:20:57,639
Speaker 5: one day it's going to be too late and I

392
00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:59,960
Speaker 5: don't want her to feel how I feel in this moment.

393
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:02,840
Speaker 5: But that's crazy that this is what this conversation. I

394
00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:04,480
Speaker 5: literally like left there and came here.

395
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:05,200
Speaker 1: That's crazy.

396
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:06,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, we don't have.

397
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:07,240
Speaker 1: It's so real.

398
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:12,080
Speaker 2: It's the culture of I'm gonna speak for my family

399
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:16,440
Speaker 2: being from North Philly, it's we don't talk about it.

400
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:20,240
Speaker 2: Even me trying to like get my family history, trying

401
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:23,920
Speaker 2: to archive some of our stuff, and I can't even

402
00:21:24,040 --> 00:21:26,040
Speaker 2: talk to get it my aunts and uncles about my

403
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:30,440
Speaker 2: grandmother is too painful for them, or like what happened?

404
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:34,240
Speaker 2: I have this half memory of this thing happening. What

405
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:36,119
Speaker 2: was that? People don't want to talk about it. They

406
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:39,960
Speaker 2: don't want to go there, and I have to respect that,

407
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:44,920
Speaker 2: like I until I can maybe provide the resources for

408
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:48,359
Speaker 2: their care. After I open that can of worms. I

409
00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:49,600
Speaker 2: can't push for that can of worms.

410
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:51,800
Speaker 1: Okay, I get it because people have to do the

411
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:52,240
Speaker 1: work on this.

412
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:57,280
Speaker 5: Because when you knocked that one dimino over, who knows

413
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 5: how long it's gonna keep goings.

414
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:01,959
Speaker 1: Did they feel like when you they found out that

415
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:05,320
Speaker 1: you were engaged to a woman, did that matter to them? No?

416
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:06,959
Speaker 2: I don't care about that kind of stuff. But my

417
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:09,919
Speaker 2: mom was alive and I told her I was I

418
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:13,679
Speaker 2: was gay my first year of college. My second year

419
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:17,240
Speaker 2: of college, she said, girl, just mad. First of all,

420
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:19,359
Speaker 2: she said, don't say you gay, just say you like

421
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:25,320
Speaker 2: women and then wowed me to marry a rich Italian woman.

422
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:30,960
Speaker 1: She said, don't say you just say you like.

423
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:38,800
Speaker 2: But I don't like men. Yeah, it's interesting, it's just singing.

424
00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:41,840
Speaker 2: And I've said since I'm like, oh, I'm a little

425
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:46,840
Speaker 2: bit more like pan and fluid than just like liking women. Right,

426
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:50,800
Speaker 2: But at the time it was confusing to me that

427
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:52,840
Speaker 2: it was like But then I went actually, I went

428
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:56,280
Speaker 2: to a juvenile detention center in Cleveland to speak to

429
00:22:56,320 --> 00:23:00,919
Speaker 2: the kids and one of the girls was, right, so

430
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:05,920
Speaker 2: are you guy in real life? Right around so fast?

431
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:09,440
Speaker 2: And was like, that's not politically correct. You gotta ask

432
00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:11,320
Speaker 2: her if she bye, I was.

433
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:13,720
Speaker 1: That's politically correct oriented?

434
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 2: She was like, ask her. She like both. So it

435
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:19,919
Speaker 2: was interesting and it's a it's a cultural thing, but

436
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:23,640
Speaker 2: it's also like access to information. I'm sure my mom

437
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:27,560
Speaker 2: was very sexually liberated. I'm sure she has moments with women.

438
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:31,159
Speaker 2: I'm sure you know that that we didn't necessarily know

439
00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:32,960
Speaker 2: about her. Maybe we did know about it, we didn't

440
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:34,000
Speaker 2: know that that was that.

441
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:40,199
Speaker 3: But but that's a funny reaction, like friends love you,

442
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:43,879
Speaker 3: but you know, yeah, don't say that, Yeah, there you are,

443
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:44,840
Speaker 3: rich Italian woman.

444
00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:50,840
Speaker 1: Why Italian. I'm y because becausin Philly, the Italians got money.

445
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:53,320
Speaker 2: Right, No Italian?

446
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:56,119
Speaker 4: But we know, we know about the Italian work at

447
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:58,320
Speaker 4: night Street, and we know about them big houses with

448
00:23:58,359 --> 00:24:05,680
Speaker 4: the rooftops. About to tell her daughter marry a Richtian

449
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:07,639
Speaker 4: because she got a girlfriend.

450
00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:12,119
Speaker 3: Right now, when your daughter told you that, how was

451
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:14,639
Speaker 3: that for you? What she didn't really tell me? It

452
00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:17,760
Speaker 3: was kind of like, what's understanding? Gott to be explained? Okay, Yeah,

453
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:21,560
Speaker 3: Like there was never really a time she's my girlfriend. Well,

454
00:24:22,119 --> 00:24:24,880
Speaker 3: there was a she was in a relationship from high

455
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:27,760
Speaker 3: school with a guy and then they had a girlfriend,

456
00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:31,040
Speaker 3: and then when that ended, she moved on to only

457
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:33,879
Speaker 3: having it. But her and him are really good friends still,

458
00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:35,560
Speaker 3: like they're really close and they have the same friend

459
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:38,400
Speaker 3: group and everything. But yeah, she has a girlfriend.

460
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:40,960
Speaker 5: So she would just like be on the phone and

461
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,240
Speaker 5: FaceTime and all of that, and the girl's number was

462
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:44,960
Speaker 5: saved her phone, like baby or whatever.

463
00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:47,679
Speaker 1: And then she brought her over for Thanksgiving. M hm.

464
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:49,240
Speaker 1: And that's it. You have to say.

465
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:53,520
Speaker 5: It's like, yeah, like you kind of already know.

466
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:56,720
Speaker 1: She don't give a ship. She just loved her daughter.

467
00:24:56,880 --> 00:25:00,680
Speaker 1: I said, it's my little baby. Yeah, now listen. I

468
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,040
Speaker 1: love the fact that your character on the show is

469
00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:05,720
Speaker 1: in tech right, which I think is great making a

470
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:09,879
Speaker 1: lot of money, but also very sexually liberated, just able

471
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:13,320
Speaker 1: to do whatever you want, you know. But it feels

472
00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 1: like and just like the therapist saying, maybe some trauma

473
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:20,000
Speaker 1: because of having a lack of commitment, do you think

474
00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:23,239
Speaker 1: that that indicates there's an issue if somebody can do

475
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:25,400
Speaker 1: these things but want no attachments.

476
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:29,880
Speaker 2: I think it's I think it's yes, Anne, because as

477
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:33,439
Speaker 2: an Aquarius, as a as a poly person, there is

478
00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:35,960
Speaker 2: a lot of moments where I'm like, I wish that

479
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,240
Speaker 2: there were more people who were wanting to have sex

480
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:39,720
Speaker 2: with me with no strings attached.

481
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,600
Speaker 1: But as guys, like, people really don't think that we

482
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:45,200
Speaker 1: can do that.

483
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:46,159
Speaker 2: And hold on.

484
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:50,200
Speaker 1: They can't. As much as that claim they can, they

485
00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:50,720
Speaker 1: really can't.

486
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:53,080
Speaker 2: I be like, I don't want anything, and they're like,

487
00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:56,880
Speaker 2: let's go to Cameroon and get married, and I'm like, no, bro,

488
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:59,160
Speaker 2: I don't want anything. That's what I'm saying to you.

489
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:02,919
Speaker 2: So for me that is tough, and for for me

490
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:06,639
Speaker 2: with women, it's hard. It's I have to be I

491
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:10,639
Speaker 2: feel like I have to be more intentional because I

492
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:14,119
Speaker 2: don't want to play with a woman's we have emotions, Yeah,

493
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:17,000
Speaker 2: I don't want to, you know. And so I feel

494
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:21,120
Speaker 2: like there is a way to desire it without wanting

495
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:24,480
Speaker 2: strings attached, and it not be attached to some trauma

496
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:27,920
Speaker 2: that you had about commitment. But there's also a way

497
00:26:28,119 --> 00:26:33,680
Speaker 2: to run from intimacy that can feel like, oh, if

498
00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:36,399
Speaker 2: we get intimate, then I might have to get vulnerable,

499
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:39,399
Speaker 2: and I'm afraid of vulnerability because of my attachment style,

500
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,040
Speaker 2: and so I don't want to go that far. Where

501
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:44,200
Speaker 2: I feel like I can be it can be casual

502
00:26:44,240 --> 00:26:49,080
Speaker 2: and intimate intimate at the same time without it being serious,

503
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,399
Speaker 2: like without it being like we're going to get.

504
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,800
Speaker 1: Married, Like you can be so respectful of me and

505
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:58,000
Speaker 1: care about me as as but also understand do your thing,

506
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:05,520
Speaker 1: which is what Megan Good's character is trying to do.

507
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:09,159
Speaker 5: I love meel down, but she didn't get on My

508
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:12,960
Speaker 5: Nurse in season one because she represents a large population.

509
00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:15,359
Speaker 1: That's why I have a friend. Every single morning on

510
00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:17,320
Speaker 1: my way to work, I'm on the phone with her.

511
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:21,600
Speaker 1: This guy be dogging her so bad, like it's so bad.

512
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,600
Speaker 1: He'll do things like he'll say things to her like well,

513
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:26,200
Speaker 1: I don't want to be in a relation. He'll go

514
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:29,560
Speaker 1: on vacations with other women and lie to her and

515
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:31,920
Speaker 1: act like he was at home, like he does the

516
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:34,359
Speaker 1: worst stuff, and she's like, I'm not messing with him anymore.

517
00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:37,120
Speaker 1: And then the next time she's like, well he did

518
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:40,199
Speaker 1: say he didn't want I'm like, girl, and you're right.

519
00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:43,639
Speaker 1: So that's a real like you cannot force anybody, So

520
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:46,560
Speaker 1: I've given up. And every day she's like, I'm not

521
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:48,480
Speaker 1: talking to him because he told me that he didn't

522
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:49,720
Speaker 1: want to be in a relationship with me, and he

523
00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:52,720
Speaker 1: thinks that I'm boring because you know, I'm tired every

524
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:55,440
Speaker 1: night because I work so much and I'm not spontaneous,

525
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:58,320
Speaker 1: and I'm like, okay, tomorrow she'll be like, well he

526
00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:01,440
Speaker 1: came over, you know, and no attachment side.

527
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:05,280
Speaker 2: Yes that I want. I want you to I want

528
00:28:05,359 --> 00:28:08,720
Speaker 2: love from you by any means necessary, and so I'm

529
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 2: willing to be in this fight or fond relationship that

530
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:16,560
Speaker 2: we have where we're either so far apart and you're

531
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:19,479
Speaker 2: doing your own thing because you want to. But then

532
00:28:19,520 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 2: when you are ready to come back to me, I'm

533
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:24,000
Speaker 2: not gonna make you make up for the time. I'm

534
00:28:24,040 --> 00:28:26,280
Speaker 2: just gonna go straight into fawning for you so that

535
00:28:26,400 --> 00:28:29,000
Speaker 2: I can have this little semblance of crumbs.

536
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 1: I mean, it's.

537
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:35,720
Speaker 2: Not the crumb. We all guilty. They know I've never

538
00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:36,840
Speaker 2: scraped to anybody.

539
00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:39,160
Speaker 3: Now saying have we all been guilty of? Like going

540
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:43,000
Speaker 3: back to somebody that we know is like, I'm the

541
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:46,200
Speaker 3: captain of the committee. But I finally let go, y'all

542
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:49,400
Speaker 3: you said that before, But yeah I did for two years, but.

543
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:50,080
Speaker 1: Now I'm letting go.

544
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:53,960
Speaker 2: Wait, hold on, you finally let go? And then you

545
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:55,040
Speaker 2: did it for two years.

546
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:57,720
Speaker 5: And we would go back when I went back after

547
00:28:57,760 --> 00:28:59,520
Speaker 5: the two years? Yes, what what was the what what

548
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:01,160
Speaker 5: made I believed your last time?

549
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:05,960
Speaker 1: You know, it's just the convenience, the comfortability, you know

550
00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:07,760
Speaker 1: the fact that I know what it's going to be

551
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:11,680
Speaker 1: better and different, got engaged to someone else and everything.

552
00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:13,360
Speaker 2: And then went back and went back. Yeah.

553
00:29:13,600 --> 00:29:17,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, but now it's over again for good. And if

554
00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:21,200
Speaker 5: I had it to this person, I hate his thinking

555
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 5: good he's listen. He I blocked him on cash ap.

556
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:26,120
Speaker 5: Now if I don't want him to send me no money, then.

557
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,480
Speaker 1: You know I blocked him on cash app. Yeah, there's

558
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 1: still Zell. There's still PayPal.

559
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,600
Speaker 2: If you get that clever, it might be well.

560
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:37,680
Speaker 1: When he was sending the money, he was sending it

561
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:39,640
Speaker 1: on cash app. So I just blocked what we was.

562
00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:41,520
Speaker 1: You know, have you ever blocked anybody?

563
00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:42,600
Speaker 3: Oh?

564
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:43,760
Speaker 2: In general?

565
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:46,480
Speaker 1: Yes, girl, he blocked on everything, my phone, my Instagram,

566
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:50,280
Speaker 1: my cash. He blocked you on everything I blocked.

567
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:57,680
Speaker 2: I blocked before because you know, you know, I get

568
00:29:57,880 --> 00:30:00,920
Speaker 2: down when it gets down, Yeah, and so it's hard

569
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:04,240
Speaker 2: for people to then go on to something else because

570
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 2: of what I can ask, you know, And so when

571
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:10,200
Speaker 2: it gets when, it's like I would have liked to

572
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:12,280
Speaker 2: be friends with all of my exes, well not all

573
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:15,040
Speaker 2: of them, a lot of my exes. After whereas I

574
00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:16,479
Speaker 2: know people we are like, yeah, I'm friends with all

575
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:18,760
Speaker 2: my I'm like, yeah, I would have liked to, But

576
00:30:19,480 --> 00:30:22,400
Speaker 2: it feels for me if there's some lingering, like if

577
00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:25,000
Speaker 2: I like, when I'm done, I'm done, right, But if

578
00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:27,400
Speaker 2: there's lingering on your end, I don't want you to

579
00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:30,640
Speaker 2: think that this friendship is actually a way for you

580
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 2: to get get back in.

581
00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:34,400
Speaker 1: I'm just cordial. I'm not friends.

582
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:37,320
Speaker 2: Yeah I can't. But I so I had to block

583
00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:42,480
Speaker 2: an ex who was like really on them, and I

584
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:44,760
Speaker 2: blocked my niece and I didn't know that I blocked

585
00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:47,720
Speaker 2: her until this Thanksgiving when I was like, oh my god,

586
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:50,880
Speaker 2: I'm calling this group message. I said, that's did you

587
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,240
Speaker 2: block me? Like your number is not coming up? And

588
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:55,040
Speaker 2: she said no, no, no I did and I didn't,

589
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:56,720
Speaker 2: and then I was like oh, and it was like

590
00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:58,800
Speaker 2: a big thing. And then I was like, oh, I

591
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:06,640
Speaker 2: blocked you and yeah, but yeah, yeah, but I just

592
00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:09,120
Speaker 2: love it. No. I love my niece. I love my

593
00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:12,280
Speaker 2: niece to death. And she's figuring it out. She's twenty

594
00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:13,680
Speaker 2: years old. She is.

595
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:16,400
Speaker 1: It sounds like y'all need a family reality show.

596
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:19,240
Speaker 2: Oh and you know sometimes I think about that and

597
00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 2: I'm like it would be so messy and trashy that

598
00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:26,560
Speaker 2: I would just be like this. They wouldn.

599
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:30,680
Speaker 1: TV cameras.

600
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:34,920
Speaker 2: I would have to say, y'all get me out of here. Okay. Yeah,

601
00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:37,640
Speaker 2: I have some crazy Oh my god, it's it's actually

602
00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:38,200
Speaker 2: quite crazy.

603
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:40,440
Speaker 1: And yeah, I said, enjoyed, and you blocked somebody.

604
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:42,560
Speaker 2: My block list is crazy.

605
00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:45,160
Speaker 3: Really, I've blocked probably like two hundred people.

606
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:45,840
Speaker 2: Wow.

607
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:47,400
Speaker 3: I don't play about My block.

608
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:49,880
Speaker 1: Game is like my phone or on social media, all

609
00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:50,400
Speaker 1: of the above.

610
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:52,320
Speaker 2: And I got everybody else media.

611
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:55,200
Speaker 3: Stay blocked. A couple of y'all learn that the hard way. Yeah,

612
00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:57,200
Speaker 3: you stay block, eye block you on everything?

613
00:31:57,800 --> 00:31:58,120
Speaker 2: What's that?

614
00:31:58,400 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 1: Thenmo cash up everything.

615
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:00,720
Speaker 3: You will never hear from me.

616
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:05,000
Speaker 1: Acount. I'm like, list do not answer.

617
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:06,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, and I would just store your number under

618
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:08,480
Speaker 5: DNA so it will be like forty people on the

619
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:09,440
Speaker 5: DNA and I don't.

620
00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:12,320
Speaker 1: Really know who you are. I didn't answer it.

621
00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:18,800
Speaker 2: I blocked somebody on Instagram recently because this woman came

622
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:21,800
Speaker 2: and says she wanted to uh, she's been wanting. She

623
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:24,080
Speaker 2: does home the core. No, I'm not gonna put her

624
00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 2: name out there, but I was like, oh my god,

625
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:29,760
Speaker 2: you know, like I loved her stuff, you know whatever.

626
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:31,720
Speaker 2: And she's a part of the community, so I was

627
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:35,600
Speaker 2: like cool. She was like, oh, you're moving into a

628
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:38,680
Speaker 2: new new building. Let's really get serious about this. Let

629
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:41,160
Speaker 2: me design your home. And she was like, this is

630
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:43,800
Speaker 2: how much I'm gonna charge you. Let's get it together.

631
00:32:43,880 --> 00:32:46,720
Speaker 2: She came to the house, she bought a lampshade and

632
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:48,400
Speaker 2: she was like okay, and I was like, I would

633
00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:51,600
Speaker 2: love for it to be done by March, and so

634
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:54,800
Speaker 2: I pay her all of the money in evance and

635
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 2: then I didn't hear from her baby, and I was messaging.

636
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:02,160
Speaker 2: I was writing her on email. Then her email start

637
00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:06,080
Speaker 2: Then it was like, Hi, I am her assistant, you

638
00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:09,120
Speaker 2: can now message me. I'm like, but where I didn't

639
00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:13,000
Speaker 2: give you? It was like, but I've been messaging her.

640
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:16,280
Speaker 2: Then it was like she was in Germany somewhere. Now

641
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:18,480
Speaker 2: she was just at my house last week. She didn't

642
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:20,720
Speaker 2: say she was going in Germany, right, And then she

643
00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:23,640
Speaker 2: was sending me these mock ups. That was like, no,

644
00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:25,840
Speaker 2: this isn't going to be it. But it was like

645
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:29,000
Speaker 2: getting closer to that date, I'm like, she hasn't sent

646
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:32,360
Speaker 2: me anything. She I told her what my budget was.

647
00:33:32,560 --> 00:33:35,200
Speaker 2: She sending me this weird stuff. That's like it just

648
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:39,120
Speaker 2: was like but she wasn't responding. So I was like, okay,

649
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:42,160
Speaker 2: let's just like we can sever this relationship.

650
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:44,040
Speaker 1: Just send me my money back, like I've had so

651
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:44,800
Speaker 1: many issues.

652
00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:45,240
Speaker 2: She did not.

653
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:48,840
Speaker 1: Wow, I've had so many issues with interior designers. Let

654
00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:51,920
Speaker 1: me tell you I have when that never gave me anything.

655
00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:55,959
Speaker 1: It was supposed to be like a lighting plan, all

656
00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:58,640
Speaker 1: this stuff, never sent it. It was supposed to be

657
00:33:58,880 --> 00:34:02,360
Speaker 1: a whole spec of everything, never sent. That never sent

658
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:05,680
Speaker 1: anything was rude and then tried to sue me after

659
00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:08,879
Speaker 1: I paid you so much money and then turned around

660
00:34:08,960 --> 00:34:11,520
Speaker 1: and sue me. People are crazy, like I don't have

661
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:13,800
Speaker 1: all the evidence of like the emails, the payments.

662
00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:13,880
Speaker 2: You.

663
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:19,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's just annoying. And my attorney was telling

664
00:34:19,320 --> 00:34:22,120
Speaker 1: me that it's really difficult because especially with interior design,

665
00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:24,320
Speaker 1: and they could put a lean on your house. So

666
00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:27,799
Speaker 1: if they even just sue you. And he went through

667
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:30,160
Speaker 1: the same thing where he hired somebody, they didn't do

668
00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:32,239
Speaker 1: what they were supposed to do, fire the person, and

669
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:34,160
Speaker 1: then the person sued and put a lean and he

670
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:36,359
Speaker 1: was trying to get like equity out of his home

671
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:38,600
Speaker 1: for something and ended up just having to pay because

672
00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:41,919
Speaker 1: it wouldn't be good to have. It's just a lot. Wow. Yeah,

673
00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:45,200
Speaker 1: it's crazy business because it's.

674
00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:48,680
Speaker 2: Also like you would go to me for this. I know, right,

675
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:50,560
Speaker 2: you're doing my own little d I wives.

676
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:53,560
Speaker 1: I loved Let me tell you something. I love it,

677
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:55,279
Speaker 1: and I want to tell you, like, that's why you

678
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:57,799
Speaker 1: can't be paying people money upfront. That's a lesson though.

679
00:34:57,800 --> 00:34:59,680
Speaker 1: I had to learn that too. You got to be

680
00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:02,839
Speaker 1: like you get this percentage when you start, you get

681
00:35:02,880 --> 00:35:03,560
Speaker 1: this percentage.

682
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:05,719
Speaker 3: When this is accomplished the same way the editor going

683
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:08,040
Speaker 3: to tell Camil about them chapters gonna get.

684
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:11,680
Speaker 2: This, And then because you will, because one hundred percent

685
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:13,560
Speaker 2: of my money went to you go on to Germany, and.

686
00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:16,600
Speaker 1: I know it did, and we still because you're like,

687
00:35:16,600 --> 00:35:18,120
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say the name, even though it's a

688
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:20,759
Speaker 1: real factual story. Yeah, I'm not gonna say the person.

689
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:22,560
Speaker 2: And then you have a house up state. I do,

690
00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:25,080
Speaker 2: and that person probably stayed at the house up set.

691
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:28,759
Speaker 1: That's not I know you're talking about you talk about it.

692
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:30,680
Speaker 1: We're gonna talk about it. We're gonna talk about it.

693
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:37,279
Speaker 3: You paid trip to this, oh, proby, you didn't pay

694
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:37,560
Speaker 3: for it?

695
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:41,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, Angela paid for it. Everybody's paying for everything. Wow,

696
00:35:42,080 --> 00:35:43,279
Speaker 2: all of our things are paid for.

697
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:46,160
Speaker 1: I didn't hear about this Germany trip though, but you know.

698
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:50,719
Speaker 1: But anyway, so, do you know when the wedding is

699
00:35:50,719 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 1: gonna be.

700
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,200
Speaker 2: No, we're figuring it out because we were supposed to

701
00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:57,680
Speaker 2: be moving to l A. Oh that's right at the

702
00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:01,960
Speaker 2: top of February, and so it's like, what even is

703
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:06,280
Speaker 2: the state of la you know, And so it feels

704
00:36:06,440 --> 00:36:10,200
Speaker 2: like I've been feeling like there's something that for me

705
00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:12,880
Speaker 2: to create right and I'm like, New York is just

706
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:15,400
Speaker 2: not that place right now, or at least the city

707
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:19,400
Speaker 2: is not. It just feels too like heavy, too fast.

708
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 2: And being from Philly, I went to grad school in

709
00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:24,040
Speaker 2: San Francisco, and I feel like I got the most

710
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:28,000
Speaker 2: healing from leaving and going somewhere where I can get

711
00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:30,880
Speaker 2: my thoughts together. I feel like I've gotten back to

712
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:34,560
Speaker 2: the you know, the monkey mind that I don't really

713
00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:37,239
Speaker 2: like now that I know what the other side looks like,

714
00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:40,759
Speaker 2: and so it feels a little bit tough to know

715
00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:43,239
Speaker 2: that I'm not, like, this is not my favorite place

716
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:45,879
Speaker 2: and to be here. And so I was like last

717
00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:48,040
Speaker 2: year in October, I was like, I'm moving to I'm

718
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:50,319
Speaker 2: moving back to LA at the top of the year,

719
00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:52,360
Speaker 2: and I'm like making all these plans and all this

720
00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:56,400
Speaker 2: stuff and child's going on there.

721
00:36:56,560 --> 00:36:57,240
Speaker 1: It's awful.

722
00:36:57,480 --> 00:37:00,279
Speaker 3: Yes, it's the weekend, like packing up Bucks is to

723
00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:03,440
Speaker 3: sense stuff. But what they said is nice, And somebody

724
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,400
Speaker 3: was telling me this. They said that the line for

725
00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:09,680
Speaker 3: people who want to donate is like way longer than

726
00:37:09,719 --> 00:37:11,880
Speaker 3: the line of people who you know right now. So

727
00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 3: it's nice to see people like in a tragedy like this,

728
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:19,200
Speaker 3: just coming together, you know, being supportive to other out.

729
00:37:19,239 --> 00:37:20,680
Speaker 1: But it's awful, and I.

730
00:37:20,719 --> 00:37:23,040
Speaker 2: Hope it teaches us that we we all we got

731
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:28,399
Speaker 2: really and that there's we can't really depend on maybe

732
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:31,879
Speaker 2: people in office or whoever. We feel like people get

733
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,279
Speaker 2: titles and then it's like, oh, I'm putting all of

734
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:37,200
Speaker 2: my hope in this person's title. It's like, no, Actually,

735
00:37:37,320 --> 00:37:39,400
Speaker 2: there's so much that we can do as a collective,

736
00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:43,320
Speaker 2: as a community, as people, so much more than what

737
00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:46,640
Speaker 2: we can do just waiting on somebody to hopefully do

738
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:48,560
Speaker 2: the thing that we hope is right right.

739
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:52,759
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, when I tell you, I just like

740
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:56,239
Speaker 1: all weekend, I was so destryed. I was thinking about

741
00:37:56,239 --> 00:37:58,560
Speaker 1: even like my house and how I built that, you know,

742
00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:01,040
Speaker 1: and put everything owned into it. And I was like

743
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:03,520
Speaker 1: I was trying to and I didn't want to do

744
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:05,880
Speaker 1: this because it's awful to think about, but I was

745
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:08,840
Speaker 1: trying to visualize, like what if everything I had just

746
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:12,160
Speaker 1: you know, yeah, was gone. I can and it's awful

747
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:15,040
Speaker 1: that some people are like not caring. They'd be like, oh,

748
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:16,080
Speaker 1: too bad, you lost your.

749
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:20,480
Speaker 5: It's not.

750
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:23,400
Speaker 1: Even memory.

751
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:26,719
Speaker 5: Like Ricky Lake when she told talked about her house

752
00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:29,359
Speaker 5: and she's like, you know, we we were engaged here,

753
00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:30,000
Speaker 5: we were married here.

754
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:32,160
Speaker 1: This was our forever home. This was our sanctuary. Like

755
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:33,200
Speaker 1: this is our place.

756
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:35,680
Speaker 5: We don't have that for the house. We don't have

757
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:39,080
Speaker 5: place anymore. We don't have more peace of mind and

758
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:42,839
Speaker 5: this piece of you know, our heaven on earth, forever

759
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:44,360
Speaker 5: heaven on earth, we don't have that anymore.

760
00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:45,520
Speaker 1: Like that's what makes it.

761
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:47,799
Speaker 3: Just like you know, from a mental so many things

762
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:50,200
Speaker 3: can't be here. Yeah, and the mental standple and you

763
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:52,520
Speaker 3: and you and everything and we're people.

764
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:55,320
Speaker 2: Like one of my best friends in grad school is

765
00:38:55,440 --> 00:38:58,840
Speaker 2: dan Aykroyd's daughter and they have they had this beautiful

766
00:38:58,960 --> 00:39:02,879
Speaker 2: home in the Pacific Policies. Now, if it wasn't for him,

767
00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:05,680
Speaker 2: I would not have been able to go home on

768
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:09,920
Speaker 2: winter vacation. Or he just was so kind. He was like,

769
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:11,759
Speaker 2: does she need a way to get home? He was

770
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:14,759
Speaker 2: buying me plane tickets to go home, and he was like,

771
00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:16,279
Speaker 2: maybe she can come stop at the house.

772
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:18,600
Speaker 1: And then before she's amazing, and so I went.

773
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:21,560
Speaker 2: To the Pacific Policades in this house that is truly

774
00:39:21,800 --> 00:39:25,640
Speaker 2: their sanctuary, and their mom was telling me about like

775
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:29,160
Speaker 2: how she knew that that home was theirs, the signs

776
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:32,840
Speaker 2: that she got from her ancestors, from her grandmother, the

777
00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:35,480
Speaker 2: stuff that she saw there, and you could tell how

778
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:40,960
Speaker 2: precious this place was. And so to think that, and

779
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:43,560
Speaker 2: when I was there, because she kept telling me, you know, Jerry,

780
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:45,719
Speaker 2: when we're at home, we never leave the house. And

781
00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:50,640
Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, whatever it is in La and the house.

782
00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:52,880
Speaker 2: And so to think that a place like that that

783
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:57,520
Speaker 2: has brought so many people together is gone. And if

784
00:39:57,719 --> 00:39:59,759
Speaker 2: somebody was to say, well, you know, they're rich, so

785
00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:02,279
Speaker 2: they it's like, no, it's not even about that money.

786
00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:05,359
Speaker 2: And she talks, she tells the story about how when

787
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:07,320
Speaker 2: they bought the house, she was like begging him to

788
00:40:07,320 --> 00:40:10,480
Speaker 2: buy the house and he was like, he didn't think

789
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:13,760
Speaker 2: that it was a good investment, and he was like, okay,

790
00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:14,480
Speaker 2: she wanted.

791
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:14,799
Speaker 5: So he took.

792
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:16,720
Speaker 2: She took. He took all his money out of stocks

793
00:40:17,080 --> 00:40:19,239
Speaker 2: to buy the house, and the next day the stock

794
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:25,000
Speaker 2: market crash. Oh my god. And so it's like, you

795
00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:27,520
Speaker 2: think about the home, but the stories in the home,

796
00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:31,800
Speaker 2: the manifestations in the home, the things that have happened

797
00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:32,640
Speaker 2: in the home, and.

798
00:40:32,719 --> 00:40:35,600
Speaker 5: So you there has to be some level of empathy

799
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:39,160
Speaker 5: for that time. So many people, so many people who

800
00:40:39,200 --> 00:40:40,040
Speaker 5: have that same Yes.

801
00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:44,319
Speaker 1: Now, my best friend lives she's from Philly, from Mount Airy. Yeah,

802
00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:46,440
Speaker 1: so she lives out there with her family, and she

803
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:49,160
Speaker 1: had to vacate the house. You know, the kids are

804
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:53,520
Speaker 1: really frightened, but people were kids. Yeah, and she doesn't

805
00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:55,799
Speaker 1: even know if her house is still you know, people

806
00:40:55,840 --> 00:40:58,719
Speaker 1: don't know. I couldn't imagine the other part, like you

807
00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:01,080
Speaker 1: don't even know what happened. And then people know are

808
00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:03,200
Speaker 1: in this air. You don't know how that's going to

809
00:41:03,239 --> 00:41:06,400
Speaker 1: affect you. Lated people that have bad cuffs, they're skinning itches,

810
00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:09,480
Speaker 1: they're having all kinds of issues because of all the smoke, yes,

811
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:10,440
Speaker 1: and all the it's.

812
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:13,320
Speaker 2: Like there's fires, but there are things that are not

813
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:16,160
Speaker 2: supposed to be burned that's now burning in the fires.

814
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:21,160
Speaker 2: The yeah, and so the toxins from that times three

815
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:23,439
Speaker 2: thousand homes that are you know what I mean, there's

816
00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:24,040
Speaker 2: so many.

817
00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 1: Different And that's somebody else was talking to me about

818
00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:28,640
Speaker 1: how they're there. But they're staying because of the looting, right,

819
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:30,759
Speaker 1: because they have to have people there to watch for

820
00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:32,840
Speaker 1: the houses that are still there, to make sure that

821
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:37,520
Speaker 1: nobody is breaking in and looting and stealing things. It's

822
00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 1: a lot. You don't have a different angles, So what

823
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:40,920
Speaker 1: do you what are you gonna do now? If you're

824
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:43,799
Speaker 1: not moving there? Have you decided an alternate plan?

825
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:47,160
Speaker 2: Well, I'm thinking about it, but I still feel like

826
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:51,160
Speaker 2: I'm also in a person that gets activated, that always

827
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:53,640
Speaker 2: wants to help people. I still feel called there in

828
00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:58,840
Speaker 2: some sense, maybe to advocate for them not making malible

829
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:00,759
Speaker 2: Olympic City. I don't know. I just feel like something

830
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:02,960
Speaker 2: the Olympics is happening in twenty twenty eight, I'm like,

831
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:05,240
Speaker 2: what are they about to do with all of this space?

832
00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:08,080
Speaker 2: Like I just start to think about like where will

833
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:12,440
Speaker 2: people go? And so I want to, you know, protect

834
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:18,120
Speaker 2: my health but also like be a helpful source to people.

835
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:21,279
Speaker 2: And so yeah, I've been thinking, like I always think about, like,

836
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:23,520
Speaker 2: oh do I go back to San Francisco because I

837
00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 2: think that San Francisco.

838
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:26,560
Speaker 1: It feels like when I can tell that when you

839
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:28,719
Speaker 1: said it earlier, Oh my god. And you're in the

840
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:32,000
Speaker 1: middle of a fast just so people who are listening,

841
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:35,480
Speaker 1: yeah and watching, know that what does it fast do

842
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:35,800
Speaker 1: for you?

843
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:40,719
Speaker 2: Well, one, I just released my fasting guide because I've

844
00:42:40,719 --> 00:42:43,359
Speaker 2: been fasting for the past nine years. Not all nine years,

845
00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:45,960
Speaker 2: but at the top of each year, I fast in

846
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:49,480
Speaker 2: order to like really get the signs, like clear signs.

847
00:42:49,560 --> 00:42:53,560
Speaker 2: I feel like I we all are connected to source, right,

848
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:57,200
Speaker 2: but some of our connections are clogged. And so the

849
00:42:57,280 --> 00:43:00,520
Speaker 2: way that I declogged that connection is by fasting. And

850
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:03,040
Speaker 2: so it started off with a Daniel fast and then

851
00:43:03,480 --> 00:43:06,239
Speaker 2: I became alkaline for two years, and I did a

852
00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:10,640
Speaker 2: raw fast juice cleanse, and now I'm a full liquid

853
00:43:10,719 --> 00:43:13,480
Speaker 2: forty day fast. I'm like thirty something days in. But

854
00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:17,960
Speaker 2: for me, it makes the signs that I'm getting from

855
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:21,320
Speaker 2: the universe undeniable, okay, and I like for it to

856
00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:24,840
Speaker 2: be undeniable. And sometimes like we like to fight with

857
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:28,359
Speaker 2: spirit when he say leave that nigga, and you like, yeah,

858
00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:31,000
Speaker 2: but he just sent me three hundred dollars on cash

859
00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:33,360
Speaker 2: ever or seven thousand dollars or whatever, and he's just

860
00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:35,880
Speaker 2: got a you know, but he's talking to me nice

861
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:39,520
Speaker 2: and it's and it's like, you know.

862
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:39,880
Speaker 3: What I mean?

863
00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:42,840
Speaker 2: And I have I have I have a history of

864
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:47,920
Speaker 2: women in my family. There is some like energy with

865
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:51,560
Speaker 2: like men, like I don't know what the hexes or whatever,

866
00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:55,200
Speaker 2: and it causes sickness, like being with the wrong guys,

867
00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:57,759
Speaker 2: I think, or the wrong people in general can make

868
00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:01,719
Speaker 2: us sick and or being around the wrong people. And

869
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:05,319
Speaker 2: I remember one time I fast. I was fast thing

870
00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:08,359
Speaker 2: and I you know, used to like to be outside.

871
00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:10,480
Speaker 2: And during this fast, I was like, oh, I want

872
00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:12,720
Speaker 2: to go very internal. I want to spend time alone.

873
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:15,440
Speaker 2: And it was in San Francisco and I was getting

874
00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:18,759
Speaker 2: all of it, and I was like doing energetic cord

875
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:21,960
Speaker 2: cutting ceremonies, like whatever chords are still attached to my

876
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:25,439
Speaker 2: energy or benefiting from my energy, God, please cut them down.

877
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:27,520
Speaker 1: And instantly I like that.

878
00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:31,200
Speaker 2: I was receiving text messages are you mad at me? Hey,

879
00:44:31,239 --> 00:44:33,799
Speaker 2: I haven't heard from you, because the people who are

880
00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:35,840
Speaker 2: still clicked into your energy that you.

881
00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:42,480
Speaker 6: Didn't cut that chord, and they feel it. If you

882
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:46,160
Speaker 6: ever do that with an ass and cut the cord, watch.

883
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:49,080
Speaker 2: Them try to reach out to you. There's some Mariam

884
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:52,640
Speaker 2: has and I have some cord cutting meditations and you

885
00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:57,160
Speaker 2: can just visualize like yes, because when people when you

886
00:44:57,320 --> 00:45:01,160
Speaker 2: meet people, it's like a I was thinking about octopus,

887
00:45:01,239 --> 00:45:03,600
Speaker 2: but it's like, you know, people snap onto your energy

888
00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:04,879
Speaker 2: and sometimes it can be good.

889
00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:05,160
Speaker 5: Right.

890
00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:07,759
Speaker 2: Sometimes you have like a past life connection or we

891
00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:12,359
Speaker 2: think about soulmates, right, that core connection lightens us up, right,

892
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:15,160
Speaker 2: because it's something that was meant to be, say, right,

893
00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:18,000
Speaker 2: And we can have soulmates and friends or partners. But

894
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:22,960
Speaker 2: then sometimes you have energy leeches that come in and

895
00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:24,759
Speaker 2: they want to be around you, and they like what

896
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:26,759
Speaker 2: you got and they like how you look. Let me

897
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:28,719
Speaker 2: take your pictures, let me be your photographer for free,

898
00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:33,239
Speaker 2: let me do your house at a discounted rate, right,

899
00:45:33,400 --> 00:45:36,759
Speaker 2: you know, and they snap onto your energy. I'm like,

900
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:38,360
Speaker 2: I shouldn't have let that woman in my house, but

901
00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:40,160
Speaker 2: I didn't know at the time, right, you know.

902
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:42,480
Speaker 1: So because we want to believe the best. Yeah, I

903
00:45:42,600 --> 00:45:44,520
Speaker 1: think that's the thing. I never want to feel so

904
00:45:44,719 --> 00:45:46,920
Speaker 1: jaded that I don't believe that people have good intentions.

905
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:49,120
Speaker 1: But people don't have good intentions all the time.

906
00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:52,879
Speaker 2: Yes, people, you know. Yes, And so for me, when

907
00:45:52,920 --> 00:46:01,960
Speaker 2: I'm fasting, it's like the veil is off, I'm seeing Everything's.

908
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:02,680
Speaker 1: Give you a lot of clarity that saying does give you,

909
00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:05,320
Speaker 1: like that clarity where you can when you're not faint,

910
00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:08,920
Speaker 1: where you can see things like very clearly, and you

911
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:12,120
Speaker 1: can just you know, feel everything and you think.

912
00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:15,840
Speaker 2: And for me, I'm like dang, what's been in this

913
00:46:16,040 --> 00:46:19,759
Speaker 2: food I've been eating? You know in fact that I

914
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:23,400
Speaker 2: remember when I was alkaline. I had I was alkaline

915
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:27,000
Speaker 2: for two years and I had alcohol like wine by accident,

916
00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:32,000
Speaker 2: and I felt the sugar rush through my veins in

917
00:46:32,120 --> 00:46:34,719
Speaker 2: a way that I have never felt before. And so

918
00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:38,920
Speaker 2: I always think too like twenty twenty four was hard.

919
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:40,320
Speaker 2: I felt like I was. I was.

920
00:46:40,440 --> 00:46:40,840
Speaker 1: I was like.

921
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:43,600
Speaker 2: Celebrating more but eating more, and I'm like, well, what

922
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:46,759
Speaker 2: am I compensating for? I'm over eating. I don't do that.

923
00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:49,120
Speaker 2: I'm eating stuff that I don't usually eat what I

924
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:51,840
Speaker 2: don't do that, And so fast thing helps me to

925
00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:54,239
Speaker 2: be like, listen, this is what happened. This is what happened.

926
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:55,560
Speaker 2: This is what happened, This is what happened. This is

927
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:57,279
Speaker 2: what we need to process, and this is what you

928
00:46:57,320 --> 00:46:59,120
Speaker 2: need to let go of if you want to ascend

929
00:46:59,160 --> 00:47:00,600
Speaker 2: to the next level that you saying that you want

930
00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:02,239
Speaker 2: to ascend to, this is what you need to do.

931
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:05,359
Speaker 1: Clear now, Listen, when I did the two week fast,

932
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:07,759
Speaker 1: we weren't allowed to have we weren't well, we weren't

933
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:08,799
Speaker 1: supposed to have sex either.

934
00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:13,120
Speaker 2: Now did you palli.

935
00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:16,040
Speaker 1: Or twice?

936
00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:16,560
Speaker 2: Right?

937
00:47:17,600 --> 00:47:20,520
Speaker 1: But so what about abstaining from sex? Have you ever

938
00:47:20,600 --> 00:47:22,240
Speaker 1: done that? I see a lot of people talking about

939
00:47:22,239 --> 00:47:26,120
Speaker 1: that recently, Like who was it just I was I

940
00:47:26,239 --> 00:47:29,040
Speaker 1: was just talking about well, obviously Lenny Kravitz said that

941
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:33,360
Speaker 1: he did pretty V and b Simone. It was somebody

942
00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:36,520
Speaker 1: else that we recently reported was Oh Redman said that

943
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:40,880
Speaker 1: after his divorce, going through this bad divorce, he abstained

944
00:47:40,920 --> 00:47:43,560
Speaker 1: from sex. So have you ever practiced abstinence?

945
00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:49,080
Speaker 2: Yes? When I actually when I became alkaline, I was like, actually,

946
00:47:49,080 --> 00:47:51,080
Speaker 2: I'm going to date myself and I'm not going to

947
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:54,240
Speaker 2: have sex. And when I tell you, I was so clear,

948
00:47:54,719 --> 00:47:58,080
Speaker 2: I was so alive, I was so in like because

949
00:47:58,080 --> 00:48:00,240
Speaker 2: I'm because also sex connects.

950
00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:02,520
Speaker 1: You to people's energy deposits.

951
00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:07,839
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, I think my fiance two years nice. It's

952
00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:11,600
Speaker 2: just a different thing because also then you realize when

953
00:48:11,680 --> 00:48:14,719
Speaker 2: you're out, am I out because I want to I

954
00:48:14,840 --> 00:48:17,000
Speaker 2: want to do something? Or am I out because I

955
00:48:17,080 --> 00:48:20,160
Speaker 2: want to be? And so your intentions have to be

956
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:23,239
Speaker 2: clearer because it's like, oh, at the end of the night,

957
00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:27,200
Speaker 2: nothing's going to happen. So I'm actually just moving how

958
00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:29,480
Speaker 2: I want to move. I'm not going to be here

959
00:48:29,760 --> 00:48:32,640
Speaker 2: till two am. Trying to see if I'm.

960
00:48:32,520 --> 00:48:37,360
Speaker 1: Not doing let out right, let's say what we're doing exactly.

961
00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:40,200
Speaker 1: How important is sex to you in your relationship? You know,

962
00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:42,680
Speaker 1: some people I think as we get older, when I

963
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:45,440
Speaker 1: was younger, maybe it was more important. I think my

964
00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:47,960
Speaker 1: boyfriend would say it's extremely important. But like for you,

965
00:48:48,400 --> 00:48:50,360
Speaker 1: if you had to say on percentage wise, like what

966
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:52,440
Speaker 1: if the sex wasn't amazing, could you still be in

967
00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:55,200
Speaker 1: a relationship, could you still be with somebody? Like what's

968
00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:56,040
Speaker 1: the importance of it?

969
00:48:56,520 --> 00:49:01,080
Speaker 2: I think sex is extremely poortant, but I think it's

970
00:49:01,160 --> 00:49:04,080
Speaker 2: the kind of sex Like I'm a sensual person, so

971
00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 2: and I and I'm a pleasure seeker. Maybe pleasure is

972
00:49:07,680 --> 00:49:11,719
Speaker 2: like my thing that I'm you know that I love.

973
00:49:11,840 --> 00:49:14,440
Speaker 2: I'm always like, what is pleasurable to me? I want

974
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:18,640
Speaker 2: to feel what's pleasurable and so pleasurable relationships things can

975
00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:23,880
Speaker 2: be pleasurable and intimate in a way that is sexy.

976
00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:28,640
Speaker 2: That like just like just having sex. To have sex

977
00:49:28,719 --> 00:49:32,800
Speaker 2: for me is like not necessarily anything, But there's something

978
00:49:32,880 --> 00:49:39,960
Speaker 2: about having pleasurable sex, intentional sex, tantric sex that I'm like, oh,

979
00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:44,000
Speaker 2: we are tapping into another level because for me, that

980
00:49:44,239 --> 00:49:48,040
Speaker 2: sort of pleasure center, my kundalini. That's where my creativity

981
00:49:48,080 --> 00:49:55,399
Speaker 2: comes from. So I'm always down handling. Now, Yes, that's

982
00:49:55,480 --> 00:49:58,160
Speaker 2: that root shot, that's that. Yeah, you're labunda.

983
00:49:58,239 --> 00:50:01,840
Speaker 1: I'm not using that. Listen, get with his kundalini before

984
00:50:01,880 --> 00:50:04,120
Speaker 1: you try anything else.

985
00:50:07,200 --> 00:50:09,200
Speaker 3: It kind of sounded like that Italian woman's pasta for

986
00:50:09,280 --> 00:50:10,440
Speaker 3: a second, and.

987
00:50:10,560 --> 00:50:11,640
Speaker 2: It probably was.

988
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 1: Because even I would say this, when you do a

989
00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:20,440
Speaker 1: detox or fast right, it is the reason they tell us.

990
00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:22,840
Speaker 1: They told me to like abstain during that is because

991
00:50:22,880 --> 00:50:24,879
Speaker 1: you're supposed to be like detoxing things and you don't

992
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:27,919
Speaker 1: want nobody, like, you know, getting their detox. I guess

993
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:30,239
Speaker 1: your detox stuff all over them. I don't know what

994
00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:31,680
Speaker 1: there is for him.

995
00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:35,399
Speaker 2: Injecting his Shuggary kool aid inside, but some people will

996
00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:36,560
Speaker 2: tell you if you want to get pregnant, to do

997
00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:41,480
Speaker 2: a detox because it kind of clears the path. Oh nobody, don't.

998
00:50:44,640 --> 00:50:46,200
Speaker 1: Listen. I heard you say Polly earlier.

999
00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:48,680
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1000
00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:58,600
Speaker 1: Maybe, Oh my gosh, how long were you guys together,

1001
00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:01,600
Speaker 1: you and Drea before you guys got engaged, before you propose?

1002
00:51:01,640 --> 00:51:05,040
Speaker 1: And how did you know that this was your person for.

1003
00:51:05,440 --> 00:51:07,320
Speaker 2: Like a year and some change. But I went to

1004
00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:11,120
Speaker 2: uh to Loom by myself. I like visited a friend

1005
00:51:11,160 --> 00:51:12,320
Speaker 2: and then I was like, oh, I need to have

1006
00:51:12,480 --> 00:51:15,360
Speaker 2: a moment by myself, and I did some shrooms and

1007
00:51:15,520 --> 00:51:19,600
Speaker 2: I like I had on these Gucci slides that I

1008
00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:22,600
Speaker 2: had broke. I had twisted my ankle in d r

1009
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:27,359
Speaker 2: N and I was after that exactly, and so I'm

1010
00:51:27,480 --> 00:51:31,960
Speaker 2: walking down this uh, I'm walking down this, this, this, this,

1011
00:51:32,239 --> 00:51:35,200
Speaker 2: this the beach, and spirit just said let them go,

1012
00:51:36,120 --> 00:51:39,000
Speaker 2: so I like let them go into the water. And

1013
00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:42,160
Speaker 2: now I'm walking barefoot and I'm like having these downloads

1014
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:46,080
Speaker 2: from from from doing this plant medicine, and it just

1015
00:51:46,239 --> 00:51:49,960
Speaker 2: was like, oh, this is what I am supposed to do.

1016
00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:52,960
Speaker 2: And now I also am a person that believes and

1017
00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:55,040
Speaker 2: sometimes like we're supposed to do stuff that we don't

1018
00:51:55,120 --> 00:51:58,440
Speaker 2: have fully have the language for, even if it's like

1019
00:51:59,080 --> 00:52:01,840
Speaker 2: just to just unlock this thing, right or just to

1020
00:52:02,040 --> 00:52:07,120
Speaker 2: unlock whatever the thing is, right, But I'm hearing this

1021
00:52:07,360 --> 00:52:09,879
Speaker 2: is what you are, like, this is your person, right,

1022
00:52:10,200 --> 00:52:12,759
Speaker 2: and so I'm like, oh, okay, interesting. And so then

1023
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:14,640
Speaker 2: I started thinking about this trip to Jamaica that we

1024
00:52:14,719 --> 00:52:17,440
Speaker 2: were already taken in all of this, and it became

1025
00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:21,400
Speaker 2: clear to me that like, oh, this this meet and

1026
00:52:21,480 --> 00:52:24,040
Speaker 2: this person, the way that we line up, the way

1027
00:52:24,120 --> 00:52:27,720
Speaker 2: that we the way that we think is so in sync,

1028
00:52:27,840 --> 00:52:30,279
Speaker 2: the way that we are so in sync, Like like

1029
00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:32,759
Speaker 2: she is my best friend first to me.

1030
00:52:32,840 --> 00:52:34,719
Speaker 1: She is always said that's the most important thing.

1031
00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:37,600
Speaker 2: Oh my god, we can just hang out, hang out,

1032
00:52:37,719 --> 00:52:39,360
Speaker 2: hang out. And if she was here right now, it

1033
00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:44,600
Speaker 2: would we would just be like it's like sick. And

1034
00:52:44,719 --> 00:52:47,560
Speaker 2: my family loves her and it feels like she is

1035
00:52:47,640 --> 00:52:53,040
Speaker 2: a she's a natural addition, you know. And so and

1036
00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:55,400
Speaker 2: so I was like, Okay, then I'm going to to

1037
00:52:55,680 --> 00:52:58,400
Speaker 2: to do this. And so it's interesting too as a

1038
00:52:58,480 --> 00:53:01,719
Speaker 2: poly person, sometimes people don't think that like poly people

1039
00:53:01,800 --> 00:53:04,560
Speaker 2: want to settle down or poly people want to whatever.

1040
00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:07,080
Speaker 2: But I feel like it is important for me to

1041
00:53:07,280 --> 00:53:11,000
Speaker 2: have a core, to have like a home space that

1042
00:53:11,200 --> 00:53:14,200
Speaker 2: that is really important and to and to be okay

1043
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:17,680
Speaker 2: with how things change and shift, to know that like

1044
00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:22,480
Speaker 2: my forever is my quest for my pleasure. That's the

1045
00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:25,840
Speaker 2: thing that I'm really committed to forever. And so and

1046
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:29,760
Speaker 2: this is so pleasurable right now, This is so beautiful

1047
00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:32,120
Speaker 2: right now. And so and I love that, you know,

1048
00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:35,520
Speaker 2: and I and I am a fan of of of that,

1049
00:53:35,719 --> 00:53:37,800
Speaker 2: and I'm a fan and I love love, you know,

1050
00:53:37,960 --> 00:53:42,280
Speaker 2: and and I'm so in love with with how smart

1051
00:53:42,440 --> 00:53:46,680
Speaker 2: she is and and how dedicated she is to the

1052
00:53:46,760 --> 00:53:49,200
Speaker 2: people around her and how she can just elevate an

1053
00:53:49,239 --> 00:53:50,640
Speaker 2: idea like that.

1054
00:53:51,200 --> 00:53:53,080
Speaker 1: So what are the rules when it comes to your

1055
00:53:53,120 --> 00:53:56,160
Speaker 1: poly relationship? Like, what do you guys when you discuss this?

1056
00:53:56,280 --> 00:53:57,040
Speaker 1: How does this work?

1057
00:53:57,640 --> 00:54:02,280
Speaker 2: So we have agreements and as long, and it's important

1058
00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:06,200
Speaker 2: when niggas just be like, yeah, well I'm polly. If

1059
00:54:06,600 --> 00:54:08,600
Speaker 2: if you say show me your agreements and he don't

1060
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:10,640
Speaker 2: have no agreement or agreement, that means he doing what

1061
00:54:10,760 --> 00:54:16,719
Speaker 2: he wants exactly, because agreements sets up expectations. So I

1062
00:54:16,880 --> 00:54:20,759
Speaker 2: can't say like if we if you do something and

1063
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:23,960
Speaker 2: you come and tell me, but we don't have any agreements,

1064
00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:25,680
Speaker 2: I could just be like, well, I don't understand why

1065
00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:27,560
Speaker 2: you're mad, right, there's no accountability there.

1066
00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:30,520
Speaker 1: We said we agreed to have this and souse, it's

1067
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:32,680
Speaker 1: different than an open relationship, right.

1068
00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:35,880
Speaker 2: And so for me when I came into it, and

1069
00:54:36,080 --> 00:54:38,200
Speaker 2: I think it was like maybe in twenty twenty, I

1070
00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:44,120
Speaker 2: was like taking this energy is sovereignty course, and I

1071
00:54:44,360 --> 00:54:50,080
Speaker 2: decided that I was going to make a a a

1072
00:54:50,440 --> 00:54:54,040
Speaker 2: poly framework for myself that was going to be this

1073
00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:56,239
Speaker 2: is like, this is this is how I am as

1074
00:54:56,280 --> 00:54:59,600
Speaker 2: a lover. These are my love languages, this is my

1075
00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:02,920
Speaker 2: hout ability methods, this is my communication style. It has

1076
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:05,440
Speaker 2: all of this in this packet, right, Because I was

1077
00:55:05,560 --> 00:55:08,120
Speaker 2: dating and women were like, well, y is poly because

1078
00:55:08,120 --> 00:55:09,640
Speaker 2: you want to have that, and yeah, it was so

1079
00:55:09,760 --> 00:55:12,600
Speaker 2: many misconsumptions. So I'm like, if you want to know why,

1080
00:55:12,760 --> 00:55:18,120
Speaker 2: here's the packet. If it's not in the package precisely, yes,

1081
00:55:18,320 --> 00:55:27,239
Speaker 2: and that's my burg Yes, it's like very it has

1082
00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:29,359
Speaker 2: to be that because I don't like to repeat myself either.

1083
00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:31,520
Speaker 2: And so while I'm dating, I'm like, oh my god,

1084
00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:34,600
Speaker 2: I'm having these same conversations. Let me put it right.

1085
00:55:35,280 --> 00:55:39,640
Speaker 2: And so then you can say, oh, actually I don't

1086
00:55:39,719 --> 00:55:41,600
Speaker 2: like that stuff, so I'm not gonna date you. Right,

1087
00:55:41,800 --> 00:55:43,960
Speaker 2: we know we can cut out that for everybody to

1088
00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:48,120
Speaker 2: come with that, right, And so or I love this,

1089
00:55:48,400 --> 00:55:50,040
Speaker 2: this is where I fit in or how I want

1090
00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:53,680
Speaker 2: to engage, And so I already had this poly framework

1091
00:55:53,800 --> 00:55:56,719
Speaker 2: or this love framework that that I sent to her,

1092
00:55:57,200 --> 00:55:59,840
Speaker 2: and so she already knew kind of sort of like

1093
00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:03,440
Speaker 2: baseline of where we were coming from. And then I

1094
00:56:03,640 --> 00:56:06,960
Speaker 2: was like, okay, and she's not inherently an open person.

1095
00:56:07,040 --> 00:56:10,640
Speaker 2: She would consider herself maybe a monogamous person who's trying

1096
00:56:10,760 --> 00:56:13,680
Speaker 2: out openness, right, And so I was like, you know,

1097
00:56:13,800 --> 00:56:16,840
Speaker 2: before we get married, I would like for us to

1098
00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:21,000
Speaker 2: be in practice of polyamory just so we can know,

1099
00:56:21,400 --> 00:56:25,120
Speaker 2: like if this is gonna work, you know, because I

1100
00:56:25,239 --> 00:56:27,239
Speaker 2: love you and you're my friend. But I also have

1101
00:56:27,360 --> 00:56:31,200
Speaker 2: spent a lot of years like being like, well, I

1102
00:56:31,280 --> 00:56:34,160
Speaker 2: guess I'm being polyshamed people being like well, you know,

1103
00:56:34,600 --> 00:56:37,120
Speaker 2: listening to what people who are not of my experience

1104
00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:40,320
Speaker 2: have had, right, you know, And so I'm like, no, actually,

1105
00:56:40,560 --> 00:56:44,200
Speaker 2: I am a radical lover and these are the reasons why.

1106
00:56:44,719 --> 00:56:48,200
Speaker 2: And as a relationship anarchist and an anarchist in my

1107
00:56:48,360 --> 00:56:52,000
Speaker 2: real life, if I'm as a queer, non binary person

1108
00:56:52,360 --> 00:56:55,440
Speaker 2: pushing up against the patriarchy in these ways, I also

1109
00:56:55,760 --> 00:56:59,120
Speaker 2: have to in my relationship styles. And so for me

1110
00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:02,840
Speaker 2: in years thinking about like what are the scripts that

1111
00:57:02,920 --> 00:57:06,680
Speaker 2: I learned and who am I? And if those things

1112
00:57:06,760 --> 00:57:10,560
Speaker 2: don't line up, then I'm at dissonance with myself. And

1113
00:57:10,719 --> 00:57:12,759
Speaker 2: a lot of what I was doing was things that

1114
00:57:12,880 --> 00:57:15,600
Speaker 2: I learned, like there were times where I was like,

1115
00:57:15,719 --> 00:57:19,400
Speaker 2: I felt dirty having sex with men because my boyfriend

1116
00:57:19,440 --> 00:57:22,120
Speaker 2: of the longest time like treated me like a Barbie

1117
00:57:22,160 --> 00:57:24,200
Speaker 2: doll because like he was the one of the only

1118
00:57:24,240 --> 00:57:27,320
Speaker 2: people that I had been with, and so I was like, oh, well,

1119
00:57:27,720 --> 00:57:29,600
Speaker 2: this is how it should be right. And then I

1120
00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:37,600
Speaker 2: was like, no, I'm trying to be not how I

1121
00:57:37,640 --> 00:57:39,680
Speaker 2: was supposed to be right. But I had to figure

1122
00:57:39,760 --> 00:57:42,920
Speaker 2: out what I liked. I had to like explore for.

1123
00:57:43,040 --> 00:57:44,600
Speaker 1: Myself and more people should.

1124
00:57:45,200 --> 00:57:48,240
Speaker 3: I feel like there's a misconception of the queer community

1125
00:57:48,880 --> 00:57:54,720
Speaker 3: where mostly coming from heterosexual people, that queer people are promiscuous,

1126
00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:58,520
Speaker 3: fast or slut whatever the word is. And I really

1127
00:57:58,640 --> 00:58:01,800
Speaker 3: feel like the difference is is you guys are way

1128
00:58:01,920 --> 00:58:04,320
Speaker 3: more willing to have the conversation about what you're honestly

1129
00:58:04,400 --> 00:58:07,880
Speaker 3: feeling about things. I feel like heterosexual couples do not

1130
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:10,120
Speaker 3: want to talk about what they really want. That's why

1131
00:58:10,160 --> 00:58:12,480
Speaker 3: these men are going to dominatrix and doing weird Yeah,

1132
00:58:12,680 --> 00:58:15,080
Speaker 3: only fans paying on these women's bills and then want

1133
00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:16,800
Speaker 3: to be mad on the other turn that you're paying

1134
00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:19,680
Speaker 3: every two million dollars whatever it is, but then don't

1135
00:58:19,720 --> 00:58:21,320
Speaker 3: want you to do it, but I don't want to

1136
00:58:21,320 --> 00:58:22,800
Speaker 3: talk to you about the fact that they like they

1137
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:25,120
Speaker 3: like it, and they want you to be conservative, but

1138
00:58:25,120 --> 00:58:28,520
Speaker 3: we're not gonna be to which one is it right?

1139
00:58:30,120 --> 00:58:31,880
Speaker 1: So what the girls is right?

1140
00:58:32,160 --> 00:58:35,120
Speaker 2: And so for me, I'm like, I could live in

1141
00:58:35,320 --> 00:58:38,920
Speaker 2: the imaginary worlds of like, oh you have to be

1142
00:58:39,040 --> 00:58:41,240
Speaker 2: like or I can figure out what I like and

1143
00:58:41,440 --> 00:58:44,200
Speaker 2: tell people that I like it, because then I've been

1144
00:58:44,240 --> 00:58:46,960
Speaker 2: in a lot of situations where people want you to

1145
00:58:47,040 --> 00:58:49,040
Speaker 2: do something, but they actually don't know what it is

1146
00:58:49,120 --> 00:58:51,520
Speaker 2: that they want you to do because they haven't explored themselves.

1147
00:58:51,840 --> 00:58:53,520
Speaker 2: I'm not in the business of trying to figure out

1148
00:58:53,600 --> 00:58:54,600
Speaker 2: what you want.

1149
00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:55,800
Speaker 1: I know what I want.

1150
00:58:56,880 --> 00:58:59,560
Speaker 2: If you don't even have a baseline, now there's stuff

1151
00:58:59,560 --> 00:59:01,680
Speaker 2: that we can explore together, but if you don't even

1152
00:59:01,760 --> 00:59:04,400
Speaker 2: know at a base level what you want, is harder

1153
00:59:04,480 --> 00:59:08,720
Speaker 2: for me to engage. And so then for me, I

1154
00:59:08,760 --> 00:59:10,680
Speaker 2: mean when we got into a relationship, I had a

1155
00:59:10,720 --> 00:59:15,959
Speaker 2: girlfriend and and then I was dating my fiance who's

1156
00:59:16,000 --> 00:59:17,960
Speaker 2: my now my fiance and my girlfriend they planned my

1157
00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:21,280
Speaker 2: birthday together. It was beautiful, it was wonderful, and they

1158
00:59:21,320 --> 00:59:22,240
Speaker 2: were in communication.

1159
00:59:22,520 --> 00:59:24,800
Speaker 1: Your girlfriend and your your ex girlfriend and your fiance

1160
00:59:24,960 --> 00:59:25,479
Speaker 1: planned your.

1161
00:59:25,760 --> 00:59:29,640
Speaker 2: Birthday, yes, and it was nice and it was for me,

1162
00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:33,400
Speaker 2: It's like that's the sort of like I'm also I

1163
00:59:33,560 --> 00:59:37,360
Speaker 2: love open communication, Like if if if I'm dating this person,

1164
00:59:37,440 --> 00:59:39,440
Speaker 2: and I'm dating this person, I want you to know

1165
00:59:39,560 --> 00:59:41,480
Speaker 2: each other so that y'all know that these people have

1166
00:59:41,560 --> 00:59:42,160
Speaker 2: good intentions.

1167
00:59:42,160 --> 00:59:46,200
Speaker 1: Guys, don't try this at home. Not don't listen to

1168
00:59:46,400 --> 00:59:49,520
Speaker 1: Jerry and you go home and be like, hey, you

1169
00:59:49,760 --> 00:59:50,360
Speaker 1: me him.

1170
00:59:53,440 --> 00:59:58,440
Speaker 2: Child. But for me, I it's like it's helpful. And

1171
00:59:58,720 --> 01:00:00,440
Speaker 2: you could say, actually I don't don't want to know,

1172
01:00:00,600 --> 01:00:01,240
Speaker 2: and that's fine.

1173
01:00:01,680 --> 01:00:06,280
Speaker 4: Some people don't have conversation, and yeah, the communication is

1174
01:00:06,400 --> 01:00:07,720
Speaker 4: the key precisely.

1175
01:00:07,960 --> 01:00:10,560
Speaker 1: So birthday coming up? What are your plans? Who's playing

1176
01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:11,200
Speaker 1: in this birthday?

1177
01:00:11,360 --> 01:00:15,480
Speaker 2: Turn thirty? I'm turning thirty one, thirty one? Yes, I'm like,

1178
01:00:15,560 --> 01:00:19,200
Speaker 2: who is playing this birthday? So I didn't have it

1179
01:00:19,320 --> 01:00:24,360
Speaker 2: at my uh my friend's arena has this beautiful shop.

1180
01:00:24,560 --> 01:00:28,960
Speaker 1: In that very stylish Yeah, I love her. I randomly

1181
01:00:29,000 --> 01:00:32,160
Speaker 1: happened to be in Saint Martin with her for New

1182
01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:33,280
Speaker 1: Year's Yeah.

1183
01:00:33,360 --> 01:00:34,680
Speaker 2: She was just telling me about that.

1184
01:00:36,160 --> 01:00:38,400
Speaker 1: Amazing yes, and so she is so fly.

1185
01:00:38,720 --> 01:00:41,920
Speaker 2: She opened up this what do you call it? This, this, this,

1186
01:00:42,160 --> 01:00:44,840
Speaker 2: this where you could go and get styled, you know,

1187
01:00:45,280 --> 01:00:48,240
Speaker 2: at this beautiful I think it was this Winnie Harlowe's

1188
01:00:48,400 --> 01:00:51,200
Speaker 2: house that she sold, okay, and so it's it's gorgeous.

1189
01:00:51,200 --> 01:00:52,720
Speaker 2: She wants to have events there, and so I was like, oh,

1190
01:00:52,800 --> 01:00:56,760
Speaker 2: I definitely can have my birthday. But now with the fires,

1191
01:00:56,960 --> 01:00:59,600
Speaker 2: I'm like, you know, I don't know, and it's it's

1192
01:00:59,640 --> 01:01:04,000
Speaker 2: a tough thing to navigate, even just with promoting this show.

1193
01:01:05,080 --> 01:01:09,160
Speaker 2: How do I show that like I am very empathetic

1194
01:01:09,320 --> 01:01:12,440
Speaker 2: to as a person who has experienced multiple house fires,

1195
01:01:13,040 --> 01:01:17,800
Speaker 2: empathetic to what is happening, and also like celebrate that

1196
01:01:17,840 --> 01:01:20,000
Speaker 2: I'm making it to thirty one, or celebrating that that

1197
01:01:20,080 --> 01:01:22,440
Speaker 2: season three is dropping and it's our final season. So

1198
01:01:22,760 --> 01:01:23,840
Speaker 2: it's an interesting balance.

1199
01:01:23,880 --> 01:01:25,960
Speaker 1: Well, you know, I think that people do always need

1200
01:01:26,120 --> 01:01:29,800
Speaker 1: an escape from every day thinking about or experiencing what

1201
01:01:29,880 --> 01:01:33,480
Speaker 1: they're experiencing. And Harlem is show that is so well

1202
01:01:33,520 --> 01:01:36,560
Speaker 1: written and so well done and by the way, so

1203
01:01:36,840 --> 01:01:40,920
Speaker 1: sad that is the last season. I was like, what

1204
01:01:41,080 --> 01:01:44,960
Speaker 1: do we have, right, you know, But like I said,

1205
01:01:45,040 --> 01:01:47,960
Speaker 1: we got the first couple of episodes, so we feel

1206
01:01:48,000 --> 01:01:48,480
Speaker 1: good about it.

1207
01:01:48,640 --> 01:01:51,960
Speaker 2: Yes, hopefully there's a movie, if anybody else let go

1208
01:01:52,280 --> 01:01:52,600
Speaker 2: because the.

1209
01:01:52,600 --> 01:01:55,040
Speaker 1: Cliffhanger last season, somebody was pregnant. We're not going to

1210
01:01:55,080 --> 01:01:59,160
Speaker 1: give that away, but that was the cliffhanger seen that

1211
01:01:59,280 --> 01:02:04,760
Speaker 1: last season. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but definitely make sure you

1212
01:02:04,880 --> 01:02:07,240
Speaker 1: let people know. I mean, we appreciate you for coming through.

1213
01:02:07,280 --> 01:02:09,640
Speaker 1: I had, we had such an amazing conversation with you.

1214
01:02:09,920 --> 01:02:12,200
Speaker 1: I'm gonna talk to you some more after this, because absolutely,

1215
01:02:12,320 --> 01:02:14,479
Speaker 1: because there's some things they need to be ex question.

1216
01:02:16,960 --> 01:02:19,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm so excited about what's next with this, with

1217
01:02:19,720 --> 01:02:22,760
Speaker 5: the season because I'm three c three episodes in, I'm

1218
01:02:22,840 --> 01:02:23,760
Speaker 5: like and now.

1219
01:02:24,640 --> 01:02:25,440
Speaker 1: Because they gave us.

1220
01:02:28,000 --> 01:02:28,960
Speaker 2: Oh my god. Yeah yeah.

1221
01:02:29,400 --> 01:02:32,080
Speaker 1: But what about you personally now that this is the

1222
01:02:32,160 --> 01:02:34,520
Speaker 1: last season, you know, you have a lot going on,

1223
01:02:34,720 --> 01:02:36,800
Speaker 1: and it feels like you'll be able to do kind

1224
01:02:36,840 --> 01:02:39,000
Speaker 1: of what you want. What is that like now?

1225
01:02:39,280 --> 01:02:44,320
Speaker 2: Yeah? I have been Actually I wrote this one woman's

1226
01:02:44,360 --> 01:02:47,760
Speaker 2: show called What We Lost in the Fire about the

1227
01:02:47,840 --> 01:02:50,480
Speaker 2: fire that I had when I was thirteen where my

1228
01:02:50,560 --> 01:02:53,640
Speaker 2: house burned down and the reason why it was unsolvegable

1229
01:02:53,880 --> 01:02:57,040
Speaker 2: was because there was no water in the holes because

1230
01:02:57,160 --> 01:03:04,040
Speaker 2: in Philly in the summertime, and right and so but

1231
01:03:04,200 --> 01:03:06,320
Speaker 2: the but the but the But the play is really

1232
01:03:06,560 --> 01:03:12,240
Speaker 2: about about generational trauma and how I want to be

1233
01:03:12,440 --> 01:03:14,920
Speaker 2: the end of this, like how I can heal my

1234
01:03:15,080 --> 01:03:18,040
Speaker 2: family line and so like finding that trauma, that that

1235
01:03:18,240 --> 01:03:22,000
Speaker 2: trauma source and burning it because because fire can also

1236
01:03:22,120 --> 01:03:22,960
Speaker 2: be renewal, it.

1237
01:03:23,000 --> 01:03:25,680
Speaker 1: Can be about I tell Marlon Wayne saying that it was.

1238
01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:28,920
Speaker 2: Right about about a new beginning and then what happens

1239
01:03:29,000 --> 01:03:31,960
Speaker 2: after the fire and so and but in my mind,

1240
01:03:32,440 --> 01:03:35,919
Speaker 2: it's like an interactive space. It happens in like maybe

1241
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:39,720
Speaker 2: a warehouse or a museum where you're interacting with my

1242
01:03:39,920 --> 01:03:43,520
Speaker 2: family line before you get into the show. And the

1243
01:03:43,600 --> 01:03:46,680
Speaker 2: show is like a ritual, like a fire ritual for

1244
01:03:46,800 --> 01:03:49,960
Speaker 2: people to be able to release their stuff as well.

1245
01:03:50,200 --> 01:03:54,040
Speaker 2: And so so that's what I'm that's amazing. I learn

1246
01:03:54,120 --> 01:03:55,560
Speaker 2: that some funding comes through.

1247
01:03:55,760 --> 01:03:58,240
Speaker 1: I can see I already have a space in mind

1248
01:03:58,640 --> 01:04:00,240
Speaker 1: in New York because I go to there, I go

1249
01:04:00,320 --> 01:04:02,520
Speaker 1: to plays all the time out here. I would love

1250
01:04:02,600 --> 01:04:05,160
Speaker 1: to see that. Yes, yeah, and I think you know,

1251
01:04:05,280 --> 01:04:07,880
Speaker 1: given what has happened, Yeah, it can be very much.

1252
01:04:08,640 --> 01:04:11,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean not even now, but even down the

1253
01:04:11,520 --> 01:04:14,160
Speaker 3: line as people start to really process what's going on,

1254
01:04:14,920 --> 01:04:15,560
Speaker 3: look back.

1255
01:04:15,720 --> 01:04:18,080
Speaker 2: And I wanted to be the first player art Bosele.

1256
01:04:18,400 --> 01:04:21,720
Speaker 1: Oh, now okay, okay?

1257
01:04:21,880 --> 01:04:26,360
Speaker 3: Which one Miamiam? Or there's three of them on Miami?

1258
01:04:27,520 --> 01:04:33,240
Speaker 3: What's the old more so there's the one in not Japan,

1259
01:04:34,360 --> 01:04:41,000
Speaker 3: Germ and then maybe it is Tokyo. It's not the one,

1260
01:04:41,040 --> 01:04:41,560
Speaker 3: but there's three.

1261
01:04:41,920 --> 01:04:43,640
Speaker 1: Well, I would go I would love to be all

1262
01:04:43,680 --> 01:04:46,680
Speaker 1: of it, but Miami would be a good Yeah, I

1263
01:04:46,800 --> 01:04:48,280
Speaker 1: think so that would They would love that?

1264
01:04:48,600 --> 01:04:49,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure.

1265
01:04:49,520 --> 01:04:51,760
Speaker 1: That that's much something like that as much needed. I

1266
01:04:51,760 --> 01:04:53,680
Speaker 1: could see them doing that at like you know, they

1267
01:04:53,800 --> 01:04:55,760
Speaker 1: do events at mansions and stuff like that that they

1268
01:04:55,880 --> 01:04:58,160
Speaker 1: ran out there. I think they could see that, yes,

1269
01:04:58,400 --> 01:05:04,680
Speaker 1: and then break give them right, Well, thank you so much.

1270
01:05:04,720 --> 01:05:08,439
Speaker 1: We appreciate your openness honestly, like great conversation. This felt

1271
01:05:08,480 --> 01:05:10,360
Speaker 1: like it could have been a one woman show, like

1272
01:05:10,880 --> 01:05:13,600
Speaker 1: because we just love hearing you tub But wait before

1273
01:05:13,640 --> 01:05:15,920
Speaker 1: we go, can we address something?

1274
01:05:16,160 --> 01:05:16,320
Speaker 2: Oh?

1275
01:05:17,400 --> 01:05:21,240
Speaker 5: Because this is by this is bothering me because I

1276
01:05:21,240 --> 01:05:23,720
Speaker 5: don't like being accused of being shape.

1277
01:05:24,440 --> 01:05:26,080
Speaker 1: I know you may not know anything about this, but

1278
01:05:26,160 --> 01:05:29,480
Speaker 1: a couple of we had an episode on there was

1279
01:05:29,560 --> 01:05:33,480
Speaker 1: a two different podcasts, My Expert Opinion, Math, Haffa and

1280
01:05:33,920 --> 01:05:38,160
Speaker 1: Field and Bag for You, and they used hone used

1281
01:05:38,160 --> 01:05:41,520
Speaker 1: to be on Matthoffice podcast My Expert Opinion, and so

1282
01:05:41,680 --> 01:05:44,280
Speaker 1: we had them on lip Service, had bag Fuel on

1283
01:05:44,400 --> 01:05:46,960
Speaker 1: lip Service and then Matt Haffa showed up and it

1284
01:05:47,040 --> 01:05:48,880
Speaker 1: turned into like a little screaming and people thought we

1285
01:05:48,920 --> 01:05:49,560
Speaker 1: were being messy.

1286
01:05:49,720 --> 01:05:51,680
Speaker 5: People thought we set them up. We lined them up,

1287
01:05:51,760 --> 01:05:55,160
Speaker 5: did not allowed him to ambush the show. And it

1288
01:05:55,440 --> 01:05:57,440
Speaker 5: was not that by It was not a.

1289
01:05:57,520 --> 01:06:00,320
Speaker 1: Jerry Springer situation. And just to put it to rest,

1290
01:06:00,440 --> 01:06:02,440
Speaker 1: Kim Osario was guest hosting. As you can see on

1291
01:06:02,520 --> 01:06:06,280
Speaker 1: the second episode, she's on My Expert Opinion, So I

1292
01:06:06,360 --> 01:06:08,800
Speaker 1: guess you know, she probably mentioned. She did mention to

1293
01:06:08,880 --> 01:06:11,400
Speaker 1: Math that she was coming and that badfew was doing

1294
01:06:11,440 --> 01:06:13,440
Speaker 1: the first episode, I purposely didn't have her on there

1295
01:06:13,440 --> 01:06:15,360
Speaker 1: because I knew she was on the other show. But

1296
01:06:15,440 --> 01:06:18,880
Speaker 1: that's my friend, and you know then right when we

1297
01:06:18,920 --> 01:06:21,440
Speaker 1: were starting the episode, she told me Math wants to

1298
01:06:21,440 --> 01:06:23,120
Speaker 1: bring you a gift. I didn't know if they were

1299
01:06:23,160 --> 01:06:24,920
Speaker 1: going to run into each other, but I also know

1300
01:06:25,440 --> 01:06:29,600
Speaker 1: they have seen each other in public previously. Spoken was

1301
01:06:29,640 --> 01:06:32,160
Speaker 1: supposed to go to eat, were supposed to whatever tuck.

1302
01:06:32,200 --> 01:06:33,360
Speaker 1: They have a business dispute.

1303
01:06:33,360 --> 01:06:33,840
Speaker 2: They're not no.

1304
01:06:37,080 --> 01:06:42,280
Speaker 1: Nobody nobody's about to fight. It's no conversation. So everybody

1305
01:06:42,360 --> 01:06:44,360
Speaker 1: that's like somebody could have got killed and d.

1306
01:06:44,440 --> 01:06:48,600
Speaker 5: D like the grown mens in their mind, they're doing

1307
01:06:48,640 --> 01:06:51,240
Speaker 5: things pieces on this whole thing, and they're painting us

1308
01:06:52,040 --> 01:06:53,600
Speaker 5: in the show and a whole out to be like

1309
01:06:53,760 --> 01:06:55,640
Speaker 5: the bad guy in this whole situation, even though some

1310
01:06:55,720 --> 01:06:59,000
Speaker 5: people enjoy even though a lot of people enjoyed it,

1311
01:06:59,520 --> 01:07:02,600
Speaker 5: and s O and Heine can definitely understand what happened.

1312
01:07:02,640 --> 01:07:05,000
Speaker 1: It was going, Yeah, he wasn't answered they wanted. They

1313
01:07:05,040 --> 01:07:07,120
Speaker 1: were okay with him sitting down. He wasn't even going

1314
01:07:07,200 --> 01:07:10,160
Speaker 1: to but they had a conversation and you know, talked

1315
01:07:10,160 --> 01:07:13,280
Speaker 1: about some things. Everybody there were other names mentioned. People

1316
01:07:13,320 --> 01:07:14,640
Speaker 1: reached out to me to tell me, like the real

1317
01:07:14,680 --> 01:07:17,680
Speaker 1: stories behind the scenes. So hopefully they all get back

1318
01:07:17,720 --> 01:07:18,760
Speaker 1: together and listen.

1319
01:07:18,920 --> 01:07:22,760
Speaker 5: We were able to have something happen in a safe

1320
01:07:22,800 --> 01:07:25,680
Speaker 5: space and the talk was had and it was all

1321
01:07:25,920 --> 01:07:28,520
Speaker 5: just very random, but it happened, and it's something that

1322
01:07:28,600 --> 01:07:29,200
Speaker 5: needed to happen.

1323
01:07:29,360 --> 01:07:30,920
Speaker 1: And people thought we had an action mic like it

1324
01:07:31,000 --> 01:07:33,280
Speaker 1: was planned. We had action mike because we had another episode.

1325
01:07:33,320 --> 01:07:36,880
Speaker 5: We had a second episode, so that's what we's like,

1326
01:07:36,960 --> 01:07:37,840
Speaker 5: we need to address them.

1327
01:07:43,760 --> 01:07:45,920
Speaker 1: Have you ever done ayahuasca since you talked about being

1328
01:07:45,960 --> 01:07:46,560
Speaker 1: into loom.

1329
01:07:46,400 --> 01:07:50,400
Speaker 2: And I want to so bad, Yes, but I have to.

1330
01:07:50,480 --> 01:07:52,760
Speaker 2: I'm like I've been. I've been like, okay, yeah, if

1331
01:07:52,800 --> 01:07:55,240
Speaker 2: you want me to do this, I need to find

1332
01:07:55,600 --> 01:07:58,520
Speaker 2: the right shaman. Yeah, you know what does it?

1333
01:07:58,920 --> 01:08:01,160
Speaker 1: If you like Chelsea Handler, she was so doing that.

1334
01:08:01,240 --> 01:08:04,040
Speaker 1: She did a whole Netflix special on Chelsea on Drugs

1335
01:08:04,080 --> 01:08:07,000
Speaker 1: with ayahuasca and she was like, let's do it, but

1336
01:08:07,600 --> 01:08:09,360
Speaker 1: we all did it. I'll do it and talking about

1337
01:08:09,440 --> 01:08:10,240
Speaker 1: we talked about it with else.

1338
01:08:10,560 --> 01:08:12,880
Speaker 2: I'm like, let's do it. Let's do a trip where

1339
01:08:13,400 --> 01:08:14,320
Speaker 2: do Yeah?

1340
01:08:14,320 --> 01:08:16,240
Speaker 1: I would love that. I want to do it so bad.

1341
01:08:16,360 --> 01:08:18,639
Speaker 1: Let's I am. I'm just scared because they say sometimes

1342
01:08:18,680 --> 01:08:19,799
Speaker 1: people like ship on themselves.

1343
01:08:19,880 --> 01:08:22,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what you're scared about.

1344
01:08:22,520 --> 01:08:26,759
Speaker 1: That goes every time. That's the one thing I cared about.

1345
01:08:27,080 --> 01:08:31,360
Speaker 2: But the yeah, before every day like.

1346
01:08:32,920 --> 01:08:36,920
Speaker 1: To day sometimes, Yeah, I'm nervous, But you know what,

1347
01:08:37,080 --> 01:08:39,160
Speaker 1: you only could say that because you're doing your detox

1348
01:08:39,200 --> 01:08:42,559
Speaker 1: and stuff, so you know you're not going to problem like, oh.

1349
01:08:42,600 --> 01:08:45,600
Speaker 2: This whatever lump of whatever I had inside me that

1350
01:08:45,760 --> 01:08:47,639
Speaker 2: needs to come out coming out.

1351
01:08:47,720 --> 01:08:50,760
Speaker 1: I did my first Kolonic. That was interesting, love clon.

1352
01:08:52,200 --> 01:08:54,120
Speaker 2: I did not need were you were you on to

1353
01:08:54,160 --> 01:08:54,519
Speaker 2: sit down?

1354
01:08:54,600 --> 01:08:54,760
Speaker 6: One?

1355
01:08:55,720 --> 01:08:59,880
Speaker 2: What do you mean so you lay down? Yeah? Yes,

1356
01:09:00,240 --> 01:09:03,599
Speaker 2: But my myklonic woman who's here in New York Coop,

1357
01:09:03,680 --> 01:09:06,639
Speaker 2: I love her. She said that there is a way

1358
01:09:06,720 --> 01:09:08,360
Speaker 2: to sit down and they leave you in the room.

1359
01:09:09,000 --> 01:09:12,040
Speaker 2: In the room, Oh wow, no sitting.

1360
01:09:12,520 --> 01:09:14,559
Speaker 1: They had me laying I was she left the room.

1361
01:09:14,640 --> 01:09:16,240
Speaker 1: I was kind of like laying half up.

1362
01:09:16,640 --> 01:09:19,439
Speaker 2: No. No, I just don't like the leaving you in

1363
01:09:19,520 --> 01:09:21,960
Speaker 2: the room thing. I think that that's just traumatizing.

1364
01:09:22,200 --> 01:09:26,000
Speaker 1: We rather to be alone every time be alone, and

1365
01:09:26,080 --> 01:09:29,080
Speaker 1: I don't want every time I've done In conversation she

1366
01:09:29,120 --> 01:09:35,920
Speaker 1: has like, yeah, that's it, you come check, that's it.

1367
01:09:36,080 --> 01:09:40,120
Speaker 1: I don't need you see, like, you know that's crazy.

1368
01:09:40,200 --> 01:09:41,519
Speaker 2: She was like you had a lot of times.

1369
01:09:41,600 --> 01:09:48,479
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, yeah, or maybe a

1370
01:09:48,920 --> 01:09:52,680
Speaker 1: again then we can do I us ship everywhere. It

1371
01:09:52,760 --> 01:09:55,240
Speaker 1: may might not happen, but anyway, again, thank you so much.

1372
01:09:55,439 --> 01:09:59,160
Speaker 1: And Harlem season three, the final season. I can't wait

1373
01:09:59,200 --> 01:10:01,960
Speaker 1: to see where you're character goes on here, you know,

1374
01:10:02,040 --> 01:10:07,439
Speaker 1: because we live for this character. She got money, all right,

1375
01:10:07,520 --> 01:10:08,280
Speaker 1: it's lift service