Speaker 1: There are just some people who cross your path, whether
Speaker 1: it's virtually in person in a random happenstance, and you
Speaker 1: just say, this person feels like family and something about
Speaker 1: you made me feel that way.
Speaker 2: So pregnancy, having my first child, titties, we didn't know
Speaker 2: they were gonna get this big?
Speaker 3: Are they gonna go away? Do they stay? What's the vibe?
Speaker 1: And because we're family now, Candice, I'm gonna give you
Speaker 1: all the tea and listen. Sometimes that tea gets real cold,
Speaker 1: real fast.
Speaker 3: So we're gonna keep it hot. Dead Assadas, Hey, I'm
Speaker 3: Kadean and we're the Ellis's.
Speaker 4: You may know us from posting funny videos with our.
Speaker 3: Voice and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy.
Speaker 4: Wait, I make you need their most days.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 3: Oh and one more important thing to mention, we're married, Yes.
Speaker 1: Sir, we are.
Speaker 4: We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of
Speaker 4: li's most taboo topics.
Speaker 3: Things most folks don't want to talk about.
Speaker 5: Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass
Speaker 5: is a term that we say every day. So when
Speaker 5: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred
Speaker 5: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Speaker 3: We about to take Philosov to a whole new level.
Speaker 3: Dead ass starts right now.
Speaker 1: So I'm going to take you back to November twenty fifteen.
Speaker 1: At this point, my oldest Jackson was the only baby.
Speaker 1: He was rolling around almost five years old. Daval and I,
Speaker 1: after having a very traumatic birth experience with Jackson, really
Speaker 1: contemplated is this a one and done or are we
Speaker 1: going to do this again? Also, being in love with
Speaker 1: that first baby, which you might relate to a psycho,
Speaker 1: can you even imagine putting another child into this circumstance,
Speaker 1: because how am I going to love another child as
Speaker 1: much as I love my only child? Right? But we
Speaker 1: did know that, coming from a family being one of three,
Speaker 1: that we wanted to have more children. So that year,
Speaker 1: early in the twenty fifteen round about say January February,
Speaker 1: was said, you know what, let's give it a try.
Speaker 1: So I took my IUD out that I had lodged
Speaker 1: in my uterus because I said, maybe what you're not
Speaker 1: gonna do is catch me slipping before my time. So
Speaker 1: I went back to my oeg yn, I said, now's
Speaker 1: the time, let's remove the iud. So she removed it
Speaker 1: in March and we decided to just give it a try.
Speaker 3: So we're doing all the.
Speaker 1: Things that we normally do, you know, practice, busting it
Speaker 1: wide open, standing on my head top, doing all the things,
Speaker 1: and a couple months were passing and just nothing, which
Speaker 1: was odd to me because when I was trying for Jackson,
Speaker 1: got off of my birth control pills in May, we
Speaker 1: got married in July, went on our honeymoon as two,
Speaker 1: came home as three.
Speaker 3: Wow, that's incredible.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so it was instant. It was like two months
Speaker 1: after what's the trying phase? Like, you know, easy, easy,
Speaker 1: So nothing's happening. We're reaching November at this point, so
Speaker 1: that's from March to November, and nothing's happening. So I
Speaker 1: say to Devallas, I wonder if something's wrong, and he's like,
Speaker 1: what could possibly be wrong? You know, sometimes these things
Speaker 1: take time, but as a woman, you kind of know
Speaker 1: your body and you know that something's not quite right.
Speaker 1: So I make an appointment with my oggi en at
Speaker 1: the time, who I absolutely love and adore, and she said,
Speaker 1: you know what, if you've been trying for about six
Speaker 1: months now, typically we'll enter the phase of exploring infertility
Speaker 1: issues after six months of trying, especially if you had
Speaker 1: an easy time the first time. So I said, what's
Speaker 1: the first sign, what's the first thing to do? And
Speaker 1: she said, I'm going to send you in for an HSG.
Speaker 1: Me to pronounce the word because it's a very long word,
Speaker 1: but the acronym HSG is pretty much a test that
Speaker 1: you go in for with in the radiology department where
Speaker 1: they put dye, some c special dye into your cervix
Speaker 1: and then eventually into your uterus. And while watching on
Speaker 1: the monitor, they can see the dye going into your
Speaker 1: uterus and then how it's flowing through your fillopian tubes. Wow, right, fascinating.
Speaker 1: So essentially what we were checking for was blockage in
Speaker 1: my filopian tubes and to kind of see what the
Speaker 1: uterus was looking like, was there any kind of scar
Speaker 1: tissue from the last delivery and all that. So I'm
Speaker 1: on the bed and the technician inserts the dye and
Speaker 1: we're seeing on the monitor that it's a very very
Speaker 1: slow trickle through both of my tubes, the right one
Speaker 1: making a little bit more progress, but the left one stopped.
Speaker 1: So what that told us was that there was blockage
Speaker 1: in my filopian tubes, which was probably impeding the process
Speaker 1: of getting pregnant. So as I'm on the table thinking
Speaker 1: to myself, you know what's next. How do we fix
Speaker 1: this right without damaging it because that's a very fragile
Speaker 1: part of the body. And the technician says, well, what
Speaker 1: I can do is try to insert more die with
Speaker 1: some pressure to see if it'll eventually kind of push
Speaker 1: through the Philippian tube. So I'm like, okay, I mean
Speaker 1: I'm here already.
Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying, like wide.
Speaker 1: Open, while we're here, might as well give it a try.
Speaker 1: And he's like, the only downside is that it's pretty painful.
Speaker 1: Now at this point, I was feeling some mild cramping
Speaker 1: as he was inserting the die, because you know, the
Speaker 1: body will react if something's not supposed to be there,
Speaker 1: it's going to come out, or it'll just cast some
Speaker 1: porn of pain. And I said to him, I said,
Speaker 1: I'm here already. Let's give it a try, because I
Speaker 1: know at this point, like I desperately want my second baby.
Speaker 1: So he says okay, And the nurse who was next
Speaker 1: to me, she was a sispel. Shout out to this nurse,
Speaker 1: don't remember her name, but she was so sweet, and
Speaker 1: she just looked at me and she's like, everything's going
Speaker 1: to be okay. And she kind of rubbed my little
Speaker 1: shower cap that I had on, and she held my
Speaker 1: hand and he said one, two, three, and he pushed
Speaker 1: intense cramping. I just kind of my body tensed up.
Speaker 1: But then he said, oh my god, look and I
Speaker 1: looked up at the screen. It was like a fountain.
Speaker 1: Both sides went completely flushed. Ohoh, completely flushed, right, so
Speaker 1: I can see the die coming out through the ends
Speaker 1: of the fallopian tubes. And he looks at me and
Speaker 1: he was like, well, that was a success. He said,
Speaker 1: give yourself about twenty four hours. You and your husband
Speaker 1: do your thing. And he's like, this was like a Tuesday, I.
Speaker 3: Believe, and you were ovulating. I probably was.
Speaker 1: I don't know probably, but I feel like if the
Speaker 1: tubes were open, like anythink was going to happen at
Speaker 1: any moment, right, So it was like a Tuesday. And
Speaker 1: he's just like, give yourself twenty four hours and you'll
Speaker 1: probably be pregnant by Friday. And he laughed and I
Speaker 1: was like, Friday, he said, let's leave it in God's hands.
Speaker 1: So I said, I agreed, So I went home to
Speaker 1: the valasaid, we have twenty four I actually put it
Speaker 1: to forty eight hours because I said, I know he'd
Speaker 1: be ready to jump my bone hour twenty five till
Speaker 1: I said yeah, I said, twenty four to forty eight hours,
Speaker 1: do our thing. It was actually the top of the year,
Speaker 1: so we were rolling into the new year. I think
Speaker 1: my appointment was like on the second of January. We're
Speaker 1: coming off of a New Year's you know, Eve party,
Speaker 1: and we did did the damn thing, and like he said,
Speaker 1: I was pregnant pretty much instantly. Oh and my Cairo,
Speaker 1: my second baby, was born September thirteenth. Woww that sixteen
Speaker 1: And I was just so grateful in that moment. But
Speaker 1: I can emphasize with you when you realize something may
Speaker 1: be impeding my parenthood journey. So we're going to unpack
Speaker 1: some of that today with my special guest, y'all.
Speaker 3: Stick around all right, karaoke time.
Speaker 1: So you know, as we do here on Dead Ass,
Speaker 1: typically Deval and I will do karaoke together, but now
Speaker 1: that we have a date with k I allow my guests.
Speaker 3: To pick the song.
Speaker 1: So my girl today has picked a song, y'all.
Speaker 2: I just feel like One thing about me is I
Speaker 2: like movement, and I like songs that make me want
Speaker 2: to move. And we're sitting in these chairs right, so
Speaker 2: I'm thinking about a song that we could do a
Speaker 2: little dance too while we're sitting down.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, do it. I'm ready, go ahead, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: follow after you.
Speaker 2: And five six boom an alb and No.
Speaker 3: I don't know the words, but I know the vibe.
Speaker 3: Ana lib.
Speaker 2: Ana, that's all I got.
Speaker 3: Feel you go, I love it. Girl.
Speaker 1: Listen, we're in the same boat because I want to
Speaker 1: butcher a song, but what you're gonna feel is the vibe.
Speaker 3: It's the vibe. Don't you have Caribbean roots too? Yes,
Speaker 3: that's why.
Speaker 2: And while I was delivering my baby, it was only
Speaker 2: apro vibes in the in the room.
Speaker 3: I love it the whole entire time. That's what my
Speaker 3: baby love.
Speaker 1: But we know the vibes, baby, That's one thing we
Speaker 1: do as Caribbean women.
Speaker 3: You know vibes. Just stay high. We live off the vibes,
Speaker 3: all right.
Speaker 1: So we're going vibe into paying these bills because one
Speaker 1: thing bill's gonna do.
Speaker 3: Is kill a vibe. Okay, So let's go pay.
Speaker 1: Some bills and we're gonna come back with my special
Speaker 1: guests today. I'm going to introduce her right after this
Speaker 1: stick around, all right, So we're back with my beautiful
Speaker 1: special guests today. I'm so honored to sit next to
Speaker 1: you because I've been following you for a long time,
Speaker 1: and at this point it's been long overdue. I feel
Speaker 1: like we have so much in common, so many similarities
Speaker 1: as women, as individuals, as moms, as wives, our husbands
Speaker 1: have a lot.
Speaker 3: In common as well too.
Speaker 1: When when I see people who are pushing forward and
Speaker 1: like minded individuals and just spewing positivity in a world
Speaker 1: where people spew negativity all the time, I tend to
Speaker 1: be gravitating towards those kind of individuals. You, my dear,
Speaker 1: are one of them. So today I have the beautiful
Speaker 1: Candace Bolden. Many of you may know her after seeing
Speaker 1: her viral maternity video that was a remake of Victoria
Speaker 1: Monaise on My Mama the video.
Speaker 3: Not only is Candace a.
Speaker 1: New mother, she is also a wife, content creator, professional dancer, actress,
Speaker 1: and published author. Candas has used her diagnosis with polycystic
Speaker 1: ovarian syndrome, which most people know as PCOS, to become
Speaker 1: a warrior for those who live with it, and in
Speaker 1: her book Living with PCOS, The Ultimate Guide to Managing
Speaker 1: Polcistic Ovarian Syndrome, it's a comprehensive resource designed to empower,
Speaker 1: to inform, and to support individuals diagnosed with PCOS, and
Speaker 1: her organization, PCOS with Candace allows her to share her
Speaker 1: own journey while connecting with and inspiring others.
Speaker 3: And she's a new mom.
Speaker 1: To a beautiful baby girl named Ocean Crystal Bolden our
Speaker 1: old government. Yeah, because she's like my virtual niece at
Speaker 1: this point. You know, I don't know that's about this
Speaker 1: girl life. So every time I interview a girl mom,
Speaker 1: or sit with the girl mom or in a girl's space,
Speaker 1: I just I just love it. I just bubble over
Speaker 1: with pride and with admiration.
Speaker 2: So welcome, Candice, Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 2: I'm so happy to be here, are you. And Ocean's
Speaker 2: favorite blanket is the one you got her.
Speaker 3: I did embroidered.
Speaker 2: We love a good embroidery, we love a good customization.
Speaker 2: And baby I saw it and I was like, Anna's
Speaker 2: double sided.
Speaker 3: This thing is real cute, personalize me. That's how I
Speaker 3: feel about it. You see, my same way. Right listen,
Speaker 3: I'm the same person. I knew we were kindred spirit.
Speaker 3: I can tell and I feel it.
Speaker 1: And I was looking through the blankets and I'm just like,
Speaker 1: because I'm like notorious for that, I'm like, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: someone's having a baby. I'm gonna send a blanket and
Speaker 1: try to make it personalize. And the fact that her
Speaker 1: name was Ocean, I was like, let me find a
Speaker 1: blanket that has like ocean creatures, and it was like perfect,
Speaker 1: It's so cute, so perfect.
Speaker 3: Then she loves it. I'm happy to know that she does.
Speaker 2: We brought it home from the actual hospital, like I'm
Speaker 2: not I'm not kidding.
Speaker 1: No, she literally sent me a kitchen and she was
Speaker 1: just like, look at the blanket. Ocean's coming. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm a part of history.
Speaker 3: I love it. I'm a part of history. Ocean's history.
Speaker 3: I love it.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for sitting with me, Candice. It's
Speaker 1: funny pre show. As you came in and we're sitting
Speaker 1: here and we're chatting, we realize that this essentially could
Speaker 1: be like a two and three and four part episode
Speaker 1: because there's so many different things that we have in common,
Speaker 1: so many similarities, so many things to share, and I
Speaker 1: feel like we're going to do our best during this
Speaker 1: episode to kind of get through the meat of the show.
Speaker 1: Typically on a day with k Or on Dead Ass Podcast,
Speaker 1: we really aim to inspire to inform people. We believe
Speaker 1: that sharing allows us to see how we all connect,
Speaker 1: whether it's through good times, through bad times, through struggles,
Speaker 1: and we feel like we're not the only one really
Speaker 1: existing in that space. And typically, as it relates to PCOS,
Speaker 1: I know that there are so many women who are
Speaker 1: struggling with this syndrome, having so many different what's the
Speaker 1: word that I'm looking.
Speaker 3: For experiences with their deal.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and different symptoms the word I'm looking for that
Speaker 1: there's an array of symptoms that people are, you know,
Speaker 1: existing with, and you have been able to successfully I think,
Speaker 1: fight and win your battle with PCOS.
Speaker 2: We're still fighting it, we're still in it. But I've
Speaker 2: definitely been able to get a hold, get a good
Speaker 2: grasp on what's going on with my body that there
Speaker 2: is even something really going on because a lot of
Speaker 2: the time I was being misdiagnosed, just like a lot
Speaker 2: of women. That's part of the problem. And now that
Speaker 2: I'm on the other side of things. I'm tackling each
Speaker 2: and every symptom that I'm dealing with individually, and that
Speaker 2: has led me to be able to have the baby.
Speaker 3: And I love that. There was so much going on
Speaker 3: to even get here.
Speaker 1: So you know what, take me back, Take me back
Speaker 1: really quickly. Let's touch on your role as a wife.
Speaker 1: So you met your husband at the time. How give
Speaker 1: me a quick snapshot of the love story that is
Speaker 1: Candice and Omar.
Speaker 2: It didn't start out as a love story, girl. We
Speaker 2: were at the let out of the club and I
Speaker 2: was waiting for my uber.
Speaker 1: Okay, so it was the leatout, it was the letterut
Speaker 1: we didn't see each other and it wasn't like you
Speaker 1: staying trying to get in.
Speaker 2: Oh no, no, no, we were the club, the club
Speaker 2: two am, club's closed, everybody go home, called my uber.
Speaker 3: I'm standing at the curb.
Speaker 2: Omar comes out and he Omar is my husband. And
Speaker 2: he was with Duke. Now well not now, they were
Speaker 2: best friends. And yeah, they came out and Duke had
Speaker 2: a shoty with them. I guess Omar was playing wigman
Speaker 2: with a shouty, but he was not having it, and
Speaker 2: he said, apparently he saw me and came over and
Speaker 2: I do remember seeing him.
Speaker 3: Losing words, like I literally was. He was like, hey,
Speaker 3: what's up? Like what's your name?
Speaker 2: And I was like, so it wasn't an alcohol, it
Speaker 2: was just oh no, no, the moment, it was the moment,
Speaker 2: it was him. It was him one hundred percent. I'm like,
Speaker 2: what in God's earth? And yeah, he my information off.
Speaker 2: Then he took me to breakfast. He facetied me the
Speaker 2: next morning at nine am. It's given intention, it's giving
Speaker 2: your wild I'm not about to not pick up this
Speaker 2: phone because I have no makeup on.
Speaker 3: You're about to see me, baby, baby, with no clean face.
Speaker 2: So wait, you were okay with him seeing you because
Speaker 2: I was like, you're gonna see yeah good. I felt
Speaker 2: like I put a lot of energy into my skincare
Speaker 2: and and I didn't want to. I didn't want to
Speaker 2: show him that I was scared of that.
Speaker 3: I love that for you. So that was kind of
Speaker 3: like that.
Speaker 1: On our very first encounter, like date, I guess you
Speaker 1: would say. He took me to the calf at Hofstu
Speaker 1: University and he was like, no, are you hungry? And
Speaker 1: I think most girls would be trying to be very
Speaker 1: what's the word about using now demuic demure, very shy,
Speaker 1: you know, And I was like yeah, And I was
Speaker 1: just like, can I get a hero with like honey, turkey,
Speaker 1: American cheese, like tomato, marrow, male pickles on the side,
Speaker 1: baggage chips, run it ginger ale, like give me all
Speaker 1: the things. And then sat on his bed and down.
Speaker 3: The sandwich and did your own thing and did my
Speaker 3: own thing.
Speaker 1: I'm sure I'm peeling back the light years early.
Speaker 2: We were eating breakfast for three hours. You know, nobody
Speaker 2: eats breakfast with now. Damn three hours breakfast is ready
Speaker 2: to go, do your thing and get out in an hour.
Speaker 2: We were sitting there for hours just chit chatting, and
Speaker 2: there was another feeling like I was like, I feel
Speaker 2: like I've known you already. We had no mutual friends
Speaker 2: at the time, Like we didn't know. I didn't even
Speaker 2: know who he was what he did at the time,
Speaker 2: same as me. He didn't know anything. And right he
Speaker 2: was fresh off the Super Bowl, by the way he
Speaker 2: was feeling himself.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 2: I had no idea though at the time, because you're like,
Speaker 2: I'm not watching football like that, Like I'm not watching football,
Speaker 2: and nor do I care that you played football, because
Speaker 2: I have nothing for you.
Speaker 3: I don't know the roles, still don't know the.
Speaker 1: Roles the roads. So then fast forward, do you guys
Speaker 1: date for how long? Then you get married?
Speaker 3: We've been together seven years?
Speaker 2: But when so, yeah, we were together four years before
Speaker 2: he proposed, and then we got married last year like
Speaker 2: almost to the date, which was six years at our
Speaker 2: six year moment.
Speaker 3: And then yeah, we've been married for a year.
Speaker 1: Listen, don't just be leaving married for a year. Yesterday
Speaker 1: it was your first wedding anniversary.
Speaker 3: How was that? Why did y'all.
Speaker 1: Celebrate ocean having a sibling?
Speaker 3: What's happening? Wow, Tony, no.
Speaker 2: Pause on that part, because we're still in the traumas
Speaker 2: in the trenches. We're in the trench, in the trenches
Speaker 2: with this brand new baby. But for you definitely listen.
Speaker 2: People's uterus and stuff like that. But hey, listen, we
Speaker 2: want it's beautiful, we want another, but right now we
Speaker 2: are still in the trenches.
Speaker 3: In the trenches.
Speaker 1: I understand, at what point now did you realize that
Speaker 1: something maybe off with your body? Was it that you
Speaker 1: guys were trying to conceive and nothing was happening or
Speaker 1: was it more so you realizing that you had the
Speaker 1: signs of PCOS but didn't really know. Did you have
Speaker 1: a regular periods? Like? What did that look like for
Speaker 1: you on your journey from diagnosis to curing.
Speaker 3: Even before the diagnosis.
Speaker 2: I because I come from a performance background, I'm very
Speaker 2: aware of my body where it's at at all times.
Speaker 3: I'm a dancer.
Speaker 2: We learn in the mirror. I'm always in the little
Speaker 2: crap top and little shorts. That's how I was raised.
Speaker 2: We're doing all kinds of things, ballet, jazz, hip hop,
Speaker 2: meaning tight clothing. I'm very aware of my body and
Speaker 2: also when we have to do shows, I know how
Speaker 2: to drop weight, usually super fast, and get to a
Speaker 2: place of comfort for me to be able to do
Speaker 2: what I do right.
Speaker 1: I've seen them legs girls, I said, can't as numb
Speaker 1: leg I need the leg workout.
Speaker 2: It's those are my grandparents' legs. I can't even I
Speaker 2: can't even genetic. That's my grandma. Shout out to my grandma.
Speaker 1: I love you.
Speaker 3: So Yeah. I was. I knew something was going on.
Speaker 2: With my weight, something had happened where I had just
Speaker 2: completely just gained thirty pounds, like out of nowhere.
Speaker 3: So I'm thinking it's a weight issue. I'm annoyed.
Speaker 2: I'm doing all the diets, I'm doing two a day workouts.
Speaker 2: I'm thinking, since I have a regular periods, I'm thinking,
Speaker 2: first of all, I'm not talking to this. I'm not
Speaker 2: talking about this to anyone because it's so personal, and
Speaker 2: who's talking about their periods. I wasn't right, not with me,
Speaker 2: not with my friends. I was actually taught to keep
Speaker 2: that quiet. Yeah, and it's personal, it's private, and it's
Speaker 2: kind of weird and gross if you really think of it,
Speaker 2: like I didn't think to talk about it then.
Speaker 3: So my periods were irregular.
Speaker 2: I had crazy, uncontrollable weight gain that I couldn't lose
Speaker 2: no matter what I did, which was very abnormal for me.
Speaker 2: And also I'm well into my puberty years and I'm
Speaker 2: starting to break out and get hormonal acne.
Speaker 3: Didn't think anything of it.
Speaker 2: And then also excess hair in places that I didn't
Speaker 2: want it, that were not cute, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm just Haitian.
Speaker 3: I'm just the Caribbean girl. We have a lot of
Speaker 3: hair because.
Speaker 1: We all know about the mom and the aunt that
Speaker 1: walks with the tweezer in the car and is like,
Speaker 1: are you kidding whiskers and shit.
Speaker 3: That I do that.
Speaker 2: Still, it's part of it, so being grown and just
Speaker 2: thinking that things were kind of normal, not really knowing
Speaker 2: what was going on.
Speaker 3: But it was the waken that I never really because
Speaker 3: I was like, I know how to fix it.
Speaker 2: I'm doing all the things and nothing's happening, and nothing's happening,
Speaker 2: and I'm telling you eight week programs of two a
Speaker 2: day workouts like it was no joke. And then the
Speaker 2: diets that I thought was good for me at the time,
Speaker 2: the diets did absolutely nothing. When I tell you, can't
Speaker 2: lose it, and it sounds so vain. Another reason why
Speaker 2: I didn't want to talk about it because I'm like,
Speaker 2: there's so many worst problems in the world and I'm
Speaker 2: not about to sit here and talk to people about
Speaker 2: me feeling a little bit overweight, like it's just irrelevant.
Speaker 2: Kind of just muting all these things, putting these stuffing
Speaker 2: them underneath the rug, and also going to doctors and
Speaker 2: being like, hey, I think something's wrong with me.
Speaker 3: I'm not really sure. You gave me a little test,
Speaker 3: pissed on a stick.
Speaker 2: Do all the things give me back my paperwork, and
Speaker 2: they're like, girl, you're fine.
Speaker 3: You're actually really I was wanted to. They're like, you're
Speaker 3: actually really healthy.
Speaker 2: So healthy you dance, yeah, you know, work out and
Speaker 2: eat clean, You'll be fine, literally sending me out of
Speaker 2: the doctor's office. I'm like, b something is going on
Speaker 2: and I don't know what it is. And at the
Speaker 2: time I had just been engaged, So that was around
Speaker 2: the time it all started happening, right around when Omar proposed.
Speaker 1: So now you're thinking to yourself, proposal wedding. I gained
Speaker 1: this extra thirty pounds.
Speaker 3: I need to get it off. I want. Yeah.
Speaker 1: They say, did you guys know you wanted to have
Speaker 1: children right away? Or was it that you guys were
Speaker 1: kind of we knew we.
Speaker 3: Wanted to have children, just like I always want to
Speaker 3: have children. He wanted.
Speaker 2: He grew up in a two kid households the same
Speaker 2: as me, so we both knew we wanted at least
Speaker 2: two kids. And that's that wasn't even anything I was
Speaker 2: thinking about. When I finally did find my amazing doctor,
Speaker 2: doctor ty Elia Body, she's also the Ford in my book.
Speaker 3: She was like, what are you feeling? Okay?
Speaker 2: The way okay, and then she goes into like a
Speaker 2: series of questions afterwards. She's like, are your periods? And
Speaker 2: I was like, what about them? I tell her how
Speaker 2: how is your hair? And I'm like, what, ma'am, she's
Speaker 2: the extra hair, how's the extrication and Cuban girl?
Speaker 3: But sure right, she started asking me whole bunch of questions.
Speaker 2: Are you experiencing any hair loss, hair gain, menstrual cycles,
Speaker 2: skin issues? And I'm like yeah, yeah, no, yeah, yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: and then she's just like scribbling and then she's like
Speaker 2: you unfortunately, you know, I want to let you know
Speaker 2: that you have PCOS and what She's like polycistico varian syndrome.
Speaker 2: And I was like, what is that?
Speaker 3: I was like, what is that? This sounds so scary.
Speaker 3: So you hadn't even heard of it at.
Speaker 2: Never, So she had to sit there and explain it
Speaker 2: to me. She had a whole notepad and she was
Speaker 2: talking about how my sugar and the insulin gets processed
Speaker 2: differently in my.
Speaker 3: Body because of the POS.
Speaker 1: So for those people who don't know, let me jump
Speaker 1: in really quick, just give a couple facts sincetat since
Speaker 1: I know that they look forward to, you know, the
Speaker 1: real real about it. Polycystic ovarian syndrome is a chronic
Speaker 1: hormonal condition that affects women of reproductive age.
Speaker 3: So that's a box you checked right.
Speaker 1: Affects about ten percent of women, or around five million
Speaker 1: American women of child marring age. Black women are underdiagnosed
Speaker 1: and disproportionately affected by pcos. This could be due to
Speaker 1: lack of research and Black women being treated differently within
Speaker 1: the healthcare system. And pcos can cause hormonal imbalances, irregular periods,
Speaker 1: excess androgen levels, and cysts in the ovaries. Other symptoms
Speaker 1: include acne, excess, facial embody here, weight gain, and thinning here,
Speaker 1: which is crazy remission. But then you sprout here in
Speaker 1: places that you wouldn't think that you want it, right
Speaker 1: of course, unxiu, I gotcha. So then also here I see.
Speaker 1: Pcos can increase the risk of type two diabetes, heart disease,
Speaker 1: ovarian cysts, obesity, and the most common is ovulatory and fertility.
Speaker 2: Which means yes, it's the number one reason for infertility.
Speaker 3: Wow.
Speaker 1: So, realizing now you had this, the doctor tells you,
Speaker 1: you go on a whirlwind of like, okay, what is this?
Speaker 1: Does she walk you through the necessary changes that need
Speaker 1: to be made to kind of get this under control.
Speaker 1: Do you feel a sense of like hopelessness or do
Speaker 1: you feel a sense of I'm going to figure this out.
Speaker 1: You know, what was it like when you told Omar
Speaker 1: take me through that process.
Speaker 2: I broke down in the room because I felt a
Speaker 2: sense of relief that I was actually being seen, being heard.
Speaker 2: But at the same time, I was newly engaged. So
Speaker 2: you're telling me that this is the number one reason
Speaker 2: for infertility, and I'm going to walking into a new
Speaker 2: phase of my life where this is where we want
Speaker 2: to go. So I was just like, I don't know
Speaker 2: how to explain it, but that feeling I was just felt.
Speaker 3: Super alone and happy that I could.
Speaker 2: Take the next step to get to where I'm trying
Speaker 2: to be.
Speaker 1: I can imagine that feeling because I actually felt that
Speaker 1: feeling now that I think about it, back to my
Speaker 1: story time, right, it's knowing something's off, not really knowing
Speaker 1: what it is. Then. Of course, you know, our guys,
Speaker 1: if Omar is anything like de Vo, which I think
Speaker 1: there are a lot of like very optimistic and like, Babe,
Speaker 1: I'm sure it's fine.
Speaker 3: I'm sure you're just stressing.
Speaker 1: It's going to happen, and then you sit with the
Speaker 1: doctor and then they find out what the issue is.
Speaker 1: So I get that mix of emotion where there's a
Speaker 1: sense of relief, but then there's also the sense of Okay,
Speaker 1: what's next, yea, and how did you change that?
Speaker 3: We had too?
Speaker 2: I got myself together, I asked her all the questions.
Speaker 2: She gave me medication to take as the next step.
Speaker 2: She prescribed me medication met Foreman and ozempic ozmpic for
Speaker 2: the weight, met Foreman for my insulin, and I did
Speaker 2: what she told me to do. And this was before
Speaker 2: ozmpic was a thing.
Speaker 1: Okay, So yeah, I want to touch on that because
Speaker 1: I saw you got some backlash from people when you
Speaker 1: mentioned and that you had to use those zmpigs as
Speaker 1: part of the process.
Speaker 2: And I don't even see it as backlash because it's genuinely, guys,
Speaker 2: this was before anybody knew anything. Doctor tells me to
Speaker 2: take medication, I'm gonna take it. I'm having a problem
Speaker 2: with my weight, and I honestly would do it again.
Speaker 2: Why because it's it was a band aid for what
Speaker 2: I needed at the time. I didn't know better, and
Speaker 2: I would tell anyone listen. I'm on the holistic side now.
Speaker 2: I'm more on the natural side now. But if I
Speaker 2: ever needed to and wanted to, if I want to
Speaker 2: hop it back on the medication, I can, and I will,
Speaker 2: and I'm not gonna make anybody feel bad for doing it.
Speaker 3: Ye.
Speaker 2: We women with pcos have an issue with losing weight,
Speaker 2: just like people with obesity or different or diabetes or
Speaker 2: different kinds of things that cannot we can't control. So
Speaker 2: when it comes to the medication, I'm so thankful that
Speaker 2: she did what she was taught to do, which is
Speaker 2: to give medication to her patients that are asking for it,
Speaker 2: because I didn't know what it was, and I actually
Speaker 2: was so thankful.
Speaker 3: Mm hm.
Speaker 1: You know what the backlash portion of it, because I
Speaker 1: noticed when you posted about it, people were just like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's what she did. And I know, do you promote,
Speaker 1: you know, a vegan lifestyle and you promote the holistic way.
Speaker 1: But I think the negative connotation that has now come
Speaker 1: from people abusing the medication for you know, reasons that
Speaker 1: are more vanity than they are health. That's why it
Speaker 1: has the bad rap that it has. But I love
Speaker 1: that you're standing in your decision that eventually got you.
Speaker 1: It was a short phase or a short stint to
Speaker 1: get you to the next side. So how long were
Speaker 1: you on that medification before you then decided to I.
Speaker 2: Was on it for about six to eight months. I
Speaker 2: remember going back in there and being like, doctor, when
Speaker 2: is this thing over? Because I really I'm really enjoying this,
Speaker 2: Like this is really really good.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: It wasn't until I kind of was just slowing down
Speaker 2: on it and I was like, okay, So like what
Speaker 2: happens next, Like, yeah, what's the cure?
Speaker 3: I need the cure?
Speaker 1: Yeah, not the band aid, not noting the temporary fixation
Speaker 1: of like no, but.
Speaker 2: He has an answer for me when it comes to that,
Speaker 2: really there's no cure. Doctors tell me there's no cure,
Speaker 2: and me and my man, we don't do that, right,
Speaker 2: You're not gonna tell me.
Speaker 3: We're not gonna play that.
Speaker 2: So I'm gonna rebuke that that there is no cure,
Speaker 2: and I'm gonna go and do it my research. Because
Speaker 2: there's not a lot of information about pcos out there.
Speaker 2: I had to do so much research. I had to
Speaker 2: ask a whole bunch of people, I had to join associations,
Speaker 2: I had to do all the things to kind of
Speaker 2: make sure that when we are ready to have a
Speaker 2: baby that this was going to be the most seamless
Speaker 2: process ever.
Speaker 3: So what did we do.
Speaker 2: We stopped medication cold Turkey, We went to a completely
Speaker 2: different We detalked.
Speaker 3: We detalked everything, good people.
Speaker 2: Music, We listened to Hey, all of it and it
Speaker 2: was so deep.
Speaker 3: We did it for an entire year.
Speaker 2: Wow, the things that we were eating. We went over
Speaker 2: to doctor Sebby's village in Honduras and is that.
Speaker 1: Where you went when you were in Yeah? I did
Speaker 1: notice that you were on vacation there and there was
Speaker 1: like a drink that he wanted.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and Omar's like, do you want this or not? Yeah?
Speaker 3: That was so hard.
Speaker 2: We went plant based before we got there because we
Speaker 2: knew it was only going to be plants. So we
Speaker 2: started on Tuesdays and Thursdays, right, just doing plant bail,
Speaker 2: being more vegan rather than plant based. So now we're
Speaker 2: more on the plant based side, right, We are plant based, yes.
Speaker 3: But the vegan.
Speaker 2: Then we went we did that on Tuesdays and Thursdays, Okay,
Speaker 2: and then we knew that we were going to be
Speaker 2: there for a while, so we're like we don't want
Speaker 2: to kill ourselves, so let's prepare ourselves. Let's start a
Speaker 2: little bit of detoxing. And we don't know what that
Speaker 2: even means, Like, we don't even know what that means.
Speaker 2: We know we're going to clean up our acts with
Speaker 2: the food, and I don't know, just maybe not listen
Speaker 2: to crazy.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna kill your music.
Speaker 1: Okay, let me start there people, music, food, environment.
Speaker 2: And and we're outs more, more meditation, more sound healing
Speaker 2: things like that.
Speaker 3: We get over there and.
Speaker 2: We were like, ha, you want us to take these
Speaker 2: herbs every two hours in the morning food, no food
Speaker 2: after lunchtime.
Speaker 1: Oh, so there was a strict regimen and they were.
Speaker 2: On a very strict regiment with certain herbs, the bidders
Speaker 2: that was twice a day. That would kill me. And
Speaker 2: the plant based alkaline foods, which we had learned about
Speaker 2: alkaline there. We had no idea what alkaline.
Speaker 3: Food was before. That's the difference between being vegan.
Speaker 2: Processed things like that and do the all natural, whole
Speaker 2: foods that are going to help your body regenerate to
Speaker 2: then be able.
Speaker 3: To fix it right on a cellular level, yes, exactly.
Speaker 2: And women people go there for everything obviously not just
Speaker 2: PCOS and what Omar was dealing with with inflammation and
Speaker 2: snees and things like that.
Speaker 3: That helped ruin his career.
Speaker 1: So that was collective for you to it was and
Speaker 1: just your PCOS.
Speaker 3: I mean, it was the reason why we went.
Speaker 2: But then he got so much out of it that
Speaker 2: he didn't even realize too, So it was actually a
Speaker 2: beautiful thing.
Speaker 1: And you can do it together because you're in one household.
Speaker 1: You're cooking the same meals that we're both going to eat.
Speaker 1: It's not like one person has one regiment and another.
Speaker 1: It's collective, and.
Speaker 2: We want to be the healthiest versions of ourselves. Played
Speaker 2: football for a very long time, and he his whole
Speaker 2: entire career was ended due to an injury. So he's
Speaker 2: been obsessed with trying to heal his body properly to
Speaker 2: be able. He's had surgeries and all the things, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean. So we're we've always been on
Speaker 2: the same like, let's be the best versions of ourselves
Speaker 2: so that we can live longer, so we could.
Speaker 1: Be literally what you know, Deval and I have been
Speaker 1: doing more recently. Do you mind sharing how.
Speaker 3: Old you are? I'm thirty five. Thirty five.
Speaker 1: Okay, so I'm forty. I was wondering how much older
Speaker 1: you were. So you go to Honduras, you do the
Speaker 1: whole doctor Sabi program, Yes, you come back.
Speaker 3: How did your body feel after that?
Speaker 1: Did you feel like a difference, what was your what
Speaker 1: was your diet to track, like where you're pooping regularly
Speaker 1: like we want to great?
Speaker 3: No, it was it was a difference you felt. I
Speaker 3: felt so light, a lot more energy. No coffee.
Speaker 2: I'm not drinking coffee, but all of a sudden, I
Speaker 2: have energy now that I'm drinking spring water and taking.
Speaker 3: My herbs like it. It's crazy. And no more coffee.
Speaker 3: That was another thing I had to switch because I
Speaker 3: thought I was doing something with that. But yeah, so
Speaker 3: many things. Coffee. Yeah, I don't drink coffe anymore, I
Speaker 3: know from.
Speaker 1: A health standpoint, or just taste, because I like coffee
Speaker 1: for taste.
Speaker 3: No, I was I'm wondering, is it more just from
Speaker 3: a health standpoint?
Speaker 2: You're just like, it's just anything that's going to give
Speaker 2: you an energy and then bring you down. It's like
Speaker 2: I'm trying to regulate everything. Okay, granted I'm trying to
Speaker 2: just regulate my energy, but you know, anything that brings
Speaker 2: you up to bring you down. And then also it's like, okay,
Speaker 2: then the coffee it comes for me, it came with
Speaker 2: a milk substitute, and then it came.
Speaker 3: With a little bit of sugar on the side. And
Speaker 3: then and the sugar.
Speaker 2: Is the problem about the gitting right here, I got you.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna get you walking at I'm gonna get you right,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna get you right.
Speaker 1: Okay, Okatus is talking to me, I got you.
Speaker 2: And anyways, if that's what gives you energy. And by
Speaker 2: the way, there's nothing wrong with coffee. You can have
Speaker 2: a coffee a day.
Speaker 3: Okay. I was doing like three a day. I was
Speaker 3: doing the most. You were doing the most. So then
Speaker 3: because I always felt like I was ready to go
Speaker 3: to rehearsal, I had it takes some coffee, Yes, yes,
Speaker 3: So we went to doctor Tubby's had an incredible, incredibly
Speaker 3: devastating time.
Speaker 2: It was it was, it was, it was tough. We
Speaker 2: were out on the steak, y'all, like we there was
Speaker 2: and you're living in this like hut and there was
Speaker 2: really nothing to do there other than cure yourself. And
Speaker 2: we didn't realize how exhausting. Healing yourself from within could
Speaker 2: be Well.
Speaker 1: Think about how exhausting it is to just exist in
Speaker 1: America in this space that we live in. It's like
Speaker 1: a matrix of of people and things and stimulation and
Speaker 1: phones and social media and all of that. So I
Speaker 1: can imagine going to a space like that. It's like
Speaker 1: a complete one eighty from living your regular day to
Speaker 1: day life, but it also has a struggle within healing yourself.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it was a it was a wild experience.
Speaker 2: We brought our videographer with us. He is absolutely the
Speaker 2: opposite of us when it comes to eating. He was
Speaker 2: having the hardest time even going into the water. There's
Speaker 2: a pool there and it has spring water that comes
Speaker 2: from the mountains that are close by. It's self heated
Speaker 2: because on the rock somehow actually was a natural springs. Yes,
Speaker 2: And he would go in the water and like come
Speaker 2: out and have a complete headache. You couldn't like he
Speaker 2: was feeling so sick because his body was just like
Speaker 2: the steam room there too was really dope because the
Speaker 2: steam was they would put natural eucalyptus leaves in there,
Speaker 2: like the real naturally.
Speaker 3: I love this kind of stuff.
Speaker 1: I love it I'm over here, like so change, because
Speaker 1: that's literally what Daval and I are on, like a
Speaker 1: movement towards oh my gosh, healing, detaxing, doing what's best
Speaker 1: for our bodies.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I feel like it could be done anywhere.
Speaker 2: I don't feel like you need to go to that
Speaker 2: specific place.
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't now that I've learned. I think the herbs
Speaker 2: were what we took from that was learning the herbs
Speaker 2: and like what how powerful herbs can be, how powerful
Speaker 2: spring water can be, and the alkaline foods. I feel
Speaker 2: like that is what kind of we took from that,
Speaker 2: and we've put it into our everyday lives and I
Speaker 2: feel like that has been the change for us that
Speaker 2: we needed. I also was in the middle of writing
Speaker 2: the book, right, the PCOS book.
Speaker 1: Oh so you started your book prior to this, Yes, because.
Speaker 3: I was learning. It wasn't even for people. It was
Speaker 3: more like a journal journal.
Speaker 2: It was a journal and just jotting things down and
Speaker 2: writing all the information and if it did go out
Speaker 2: to people, if I could help somebody one day, I
Speaker 2: don't want to have to talk about all the time.
Speaker 3: Here's the book that I put together.
Speaker 2: Here's the guide the guide that I put together, Yes,
Speaker 2: and came back and I was like, I gotta switch
Speaker 2: a lot of these recipes up. I've got to switch
Speaker 2: up everything. Actually I didn't know what I was talking about.
Speaker 2: I need to actually change everything. So that extent in
Speaker 2: this whole process with the book, I've been putting information
Speaker 2: for a very long time.
Speaker 3: And the alkaline foods.
Speaker 2: What happens with the alkaline foods really quick, not to
Speaker 2: get nerdy, it's a pH level. All the foods have
Speaker 2: a pH level. Everything has a number from like one
Speaker 2: to fourteen, and you want to be at the highest.
Speaker 2: So you know, you seem some water sometimes and it's.
Speaker 3: Like, yeah, it's on a three from the scale of
Speaker 3: like one two.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like and then it's like a nine points
Speaker 2: something water And you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: That's the pH level.
Speaker 2: And certain foods are higher in the pH potential hydrogen,
Speaker 2: and then some are lower closer to acidic. So you
Speaker 2: do not want to be closer to the aesthetic because
Speaker 2: when you have more of the foods on the higher
Speaker 2: part of scale, it helps your body regenerate. So you're
Speaker 2: giving your body whole foods that it can take your
Speaker 2: body naturally wants to regenerate. I tell this thing all
Speaker 2: the time. Whenever you cut yourself, your skin naturally heals itself.
Speaker 2: Your skin wants to do that. Your skin wants to regenerate.
Speaker 2: When you give your body the foods to be able
Speaker 2: to do that, your cells connect quicker and easier, and
Speaker 2: then you hope your body regenerates. So with that mind
Speaker 2: frame going into everything that we put in our in
Speaker 2: our bodies back at the house, when we got home,
Speaker 2: it started everything started kind of coming together, one one
Speaker 2: thing at a time.
Speaker 1: Like, so, how soon after your trip, now implementing the
Speaker 1: things that you've learned on your trip, did you guys
Speaker 1: conceive what was that timeline?
Speaker 3: It was a year, a full year, a full year
Speaker 3: afore we.
Speaker 2: Went over there, learned everything came back home. Was on
Speaker 2: the bidders taking shots every morning, which was the hardest
Speaker 2: part for me and the bidders is just like fermented herbs.
Speaker 1: So you pretty much find out you're pregnant, and what's
Speaker 1: that like, you know, finding out that you're successfully pregnant
Speaker 1: now also maintaining it.
Speaker 3: Took so it took a year. We did it. One
Speaker 3: time we gave each other a high five.
Speaker 2: Like we did it, Ah, that works, and it didn't
Speaker 2: work that month, So then we tried the next time
Speaker 2: I see it and it happened. So it was technically
Speaker 2: quick fast, but we did a whole year of completely detoxing.
Speaker 3: Yes, And what was the question after that?
Speaker 1: No, I was I was saying next, So now that
Speaker 1: you're pregnant, did you maintain like this plant based lifestyle
Speaker 1: now that you're finally pregnant? Because some people may cure
Speaker 1: themselves to the point where they get what they want
Speaker 1: out of it, which is essentially, you know, conception, but
Speaker 1: then may start to kind of backslide and fall back
Speaker 1: into bad habits. So how important was it for you
Speaker 1: and your husband? I know that Omar has been very
Speaker 1: supportive of your journey as well. I've seen his videos
Speaker 1: too where he's like looking for fruit with seeds.
Speaker 3: In it then cracking open a watermelon that had the
Speaker 3: black seeds atime.
Speaker 1: So you now being pregnant, how important was it for
Speaker 1: you to continue this journey through pregnancy and then now postpartum.
Speaker 3: Because it's so interesting, said.
Speaker 1: Too that Ocean is going to be a whole plant
Speaker 1: based baby.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she is a plant based baby.
Speaker 2: I got pregnant and all of my knowledge completely went
Speaker 2: out the window due to the fact that I was
Speaker 2: so hungry.
Speaker 3: I was raving everything.
Speaker 2: And when I tell you, so, I attacked the skin.
Speaker 3: With going to a skin specialists.
Speaker 2: I got my menstrual cycle back to normal somehow, I
Speaker 2: think by the food that we were eating. So I
Speaker 2: kind of just like funneled in every single symptom that
Speaker 2: I was having with a specialist. So I was That's
Speaker 2: how I was kind of getting everything together, okay, And
Speaker 2: then when I finally did get pregnant, Yeah, I mean
Speaker 2: I was just like, whatever's gonna happen right now is
Speaker 2: about to happen. I want to stay plant based. And
Speaker 2: this is a conversation that Omar and I did have
Speaker 2: because that's what he expected of me too, because we
Speaker 2: worked so hard to get here.
Speaker 3: Now we're finally pregnant.
Speaker 1: Listen, these accountability partners that we have in husbands, Oh
Speaker 1: my goodness. It's also I think their football background now
Speaker 1: they're used to being so disciplined.
Speaker 3: It's what it is.
Speaker 1: And the accountability, like the valor is always like the
Speaker 1: eye in the sky doesn't last.
Speaker 3: Well, who said your eye is the eye my god?
Speaker 3: Get away? You know what I'm saying, let me, I
Speaker 3: would not be seeing the same thing.
Speaker 2: I would drive through the drive through. This is real
Speaker 2: pregnancy talk. Fifth or six month like left set. One
Speaker 2: day I drove through a drive through it for fast.
Speaker 1: Ooh baby, gave me the big man.
Speaker 2: I ate that in the car. I didn't want to
Speaker 2: tell him nothing. I was so embarrassed of myself guilty.
Speaker 2: I felt so guilty. But then at the same time,
Speaker 2: I had a chicken sandwich.
Speaker 3: Yeah, a stummer. Okay, yeah, I get it. I've been there.
Speaker 3: I haven't had that in years, like forget the whole detox.
Speaker 3: Like even before that, I felt crazy, But you lived
Speaker 3: to see another day. I did, and guess what we
Speaker 3: got through it? You did Listen.
Speaker 2: One thing about me is a balance, like I'm here
Speaker 2: for the balance. I wanted to be plant based. And
Speaker 2: it was a conversation that Omar had with me, and
Speaker 2: he's like, I hear you with your cravings. We've never
Speaker 2: been pregnant before, meaning you, I've never been pregnant before.
Speaker 2: I didn't know what to expect, how to eat, and
Speaker 2: all the things I know I wanted to violent, and
Speaker 2: then all the things that I like to do, like
Speaker 2: steam room, and go into the jacuzzie and like things
Speaker 2: that I'd like to do I couldn't do anymore. Regardless,
Speaker 2: I'm a pregnant woman and I got my cravings and
Speaker 2: I need to handle it. And he was like, I
Speaker 2: hear you, but our child is in your belly.
Speaker 3: And we got.
Speaker 2: To this place where we've done everything the good way,
Speaker 2: the natural way, and you're giving everything you're eating and
Speaker 2: giving it to our child. I don't know how I
Speaker 2: feel about her having hormones extra hormones from animal products
Speaker 2: in your body.
Speaker 1: So this was a thing because I wish it man
Speaker 1: would splain to me what it's like to be pregnant.
Speaker 3: Yes, normally the struggle that we have.
Speaker 2: It was something that we had to It was not
Speaker 2: an argument, but it was definitely like I'm like, right, sir,
Speaker 2: I have a craving.
Speaker 3: I don't know what to tell you, right.
Speaker 2: And then him is like, you're giving our child things
Speaker 2: that we don't eat, right. So we had to actually
Speaker 2: talk to like outside parties because it was one of
Speaker 2: those things I get it, yeah, And it came down
Speaker 2: to when she's here, we want to make sure like
Speaker 2: when she's physically here on earth, like after we birth her.
Speaker 3: I'm like, yes, give her the vegetables. I'm not mean.
Speaker 3: I don't have to alter my life anymore.
Speaker 1: What's your breastfeeding? So is it still clocking like what
Speaker 1: you eat since your breastfeeding?
Speaker 3: No, because we know the percentage just way lower that
Speaker 3: she's receiving.
Speaker 2: And also I'm eating cleaner. You know I still eat.
Speaker 2: I'm not completely one way or the other. I eat
Speaker 2: what I want to eat, but I know you're mine.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 2: I'm very mindful now I enjoy eating healthier foods because
Speaker 2: I know it's going to make me feel. Like before
Speaker 2: it was just like you eat chicken, or you eat meat,
Speaker 2: or you eat but processed foods because that's what I want.
Speaker 2: And if I didn't think.
Speaker 1: About what it was doing, especially being her Carabian descent,
Speaker 1: like give me to acale, give me a rice and peas,
Speaker 1: give me a curry chicken, give me to go, give
Speaker 1: me all the things.
Speaker 2: Everything right and eat it all, don't leave without exactly.
Speaker 1: Or if you go to a rest of West Indian
Speaker 1: restaurant and they give you like a pound of rice
Speaker 1: and peas and then like a small portion of the
Speaker 1: meat and veggies, it's like, let's switch it around. Let
Speaker 1: me get more veggie. It's a little more meat, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3: Make it even. But then I get the struggle exactly exactly.
Speaker 3: I get the struggle. But the balance is key.
Speaker 2: The balance is key, And now I know better. So
Speaker 2: now that I know better, I do better. And as
Speaker 2: for Ocean, because you said how we were raised, it
Speaker 2: was a different way. Now that we know better. Now, Ocean,
Speaker 2: you're gonna want avocado.
Speaker 3: The first thing we gave it was avocado, and I mean, hey,
Speaker 3: she loved it. She loved it.
Speaker 2: She was a little bit annoyed with the apple sauce
Speaker 2: that we made it straight from apple, like actual apple.
Speaker 1: Yeah, babies are funny about texture at that age too. Yes,
Speaker 1: But to your point, as a parent, when you start
Speaker 1: to implement these changes in your household, then the children
Speaker 1: naturally will start to pick it up. Daval And I again,
Speaker 1: prime example of eating all the things that we were
Speaker 1: raised on. My parents live with us. So when I
Speaker 1: start to cut certain things out, my mom is like, well,
Speaker 1: we've always bought this brand of this, but why is
Speaker 1: this bad all of a sudden? But why can't I
Speaker 1: get the boys gatorade? And I'm like, mom, because we're
Speaker 1: not drinking that and doing it anymore. I said, back then,
Speaker 1: it might have been okay because there weren't all the
Speaker 1: additives different now is that know? But now we're in
Speaker 1: a space where we know better. So I'm starting to
Speaker 1: slowly remove things from the house. And Jackson sometimes will
Speaker 1: stand in the pantry and he'd be.
Speaker 3: Like, dang, this is boring. Ain't nothing those snacks are here.
Speaker 1: But then Deval is on a syebowl kick with all
Speaker 1: these fruits and everything. And now it's like we're ordering
Speaker 1: a sye ball for each kid, all right because let
Speaker 1: and they're just like, we want to sell it too,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, yeah, it's what they're seeing, it's what
Speaker 1: they're saying, and they're enjoying it because they're not missing
Speaker 1: the things that they used to have because it's like
Speaker 1: their taste buds essentially are changing.
Speaker 3: And I love that for us.
Speaker 2: And you're leading them to that healthier lifestyle. The parents
Speaker 2: they were just doing what they they were taught to do. Absolutely,
Speaker 2: they were doing their best. And now a lot of
Speaker 2: the things have more additives than back then, so the products.
Speaker 3: Are not the same.
Speaker 2: That Gatorade is not the same, right, Okay, it's just
Speaker 2: not it's just not so. And I feel like bringing
Speaker 2: ocean in now knowing the things that we do know
Speaker 2: mm hm. We follow a lot of people on social
Speaker 2: media as well that they're raising very strong, plant based babies.
Speaker 2: Like when people found out that I was pregnant and
Speaker 2: they thought I was plant based because we were making
Speaker 2: plant based foods at the house, which that's all we
Speaker 2: do at the house.
Speaker 3: It's only plant based foods.
Speaker 2: They were coming for me like that baby's gonna be malndnourished, right,
Speaker 2: and it's like watch.
Speaker 1: Watch right, She'll be fine. And you know, we should
Speaker 1: be also allowing people to raise their children the way
Speaker 1: they see fit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's fine that we don't do everything the same. Guys, Like,
Speaker 2: it's okay, and she is so healthy, but she's healthy,
Speaker 2: she's beautiful. God, mom is beautiful. Dad is healthy. Like
Speaker 2: I just love that for you guys. Wow, we what
Speaker 2: a great.
Speaker 1: Convo about this PCOS life and overcoming it. Yes, I
Speaker 1: guess as we wrap up this segment, what's been your
Speaker 1: most surprising thing about motherhood so far?
Speaker 3: That's such a deep loaded question.
Speaker 1: I'm like, as we wrap up the conversation, it's a
Speaker 1: whole thing.
Speaker 2: It's the most surprising part. Honestly, it's like the breastfeeding journey.
Speaker 2: No one talks about that, talks about it. I was
Speaker 2: legit like when people were like, are you gonna best feed,
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, yeah, for sure about a year and yeah,
Speaker 2: kind of just duh, Like don't you know me.
Speaker 3: We're plant bates. Yeah, we're plant bates. We do everything
Speaker 3: really natural.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's gonna come naturally.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's gonna come. It's just gonna flow.
Speaker 2: And then it don't, and then it don't, and then
Speaker 2: your right titty is the only one that's producing the milk.
Speaker 3: There's always the slacker boob. Is it your right that's
Speaker 3: a slacker. No, my left is a slacker. My left
Speaker 3: was a slacker. Dude, Right, what is it powerful boob? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Is it because we're right handed? Are your right handed?
Speaker 1: I am?
Speaker 2: I don't think that's what it is. I don't know
Speaker 2: if this is too much information, but the never too
Speaker 2: much stimulation. The nibble stimulation on the right side has
Speaker 2: always been a little bit more.
Speaker 3: And I don't know if we would want to say
Speaker 3: about the I don't.
Speaker 1: Know, because definitely, like you know, when you have that
Speaker 1: like suction, whether it's a man or a baby. Hey,
Speaker 1: I mean it stimulates a different level of production. Yeah right,
Speaker 1: So do you think you've got to handle on it now?
Speaker 2: I'm still in the trenches, Yeah for sure, but I
Speaker 2: definitely have. I feel like I've gained some more thick skin,
Speaker 2: Like I'm like, first of all.
Speaker 1: Literally thin skin. I gave it bost when they get tougher. Yeah, literally,
Speaker 1: that's easier, right.
Speaker 2: And I also gave birth like if you can give birth,
Speaker 2: and I gave birth naturally, And like.
Speaker 3: You sure did I watch the block?
Speaker 1: Did you?
Speaker 3: I did watch it. That was a timatic. It was
Speaker 3: very dramatic. That was the time. It was very she
Speaker 3: just was not trying to she.
Speaker 2: Wasn't trying to come out, and you know, the doctor
Speaker 2: midway leaving and then us being blessed with a black
Speaker 2: doctor that came in and she came in and she
Speaker 2: just was like give us.
Speaker 3: All the affirmation. And I was really just trying to
Speaker 3: have this baby naturally.
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 2: I was trying so hard as far as naturally meaning
Speaker 2: with no drugs and vaginaginally.
Speaker 3: Yeah, after that, both the forty eight hours tell them,
Speaker 3: I know, but yeah, after the forty eight hour mark.
Speaker 2: I just couldn't take it anymore because she wasn't ready
Speaker 2: because I was induced improperly.
Speaker 1: Yes, in there too that that was the traumatic birth experience, Jackson.
Speaker 1: I was induced for reasons that I had. I believe
Speaker 1: protein or elevated enzymes in my liver, so it was necessary.
Speaker 1: But you know, when your body doesn't do what it's
Speaker 1: naturally supposed to do. With my last three, I naturally
Speaker 1: water broke. Had the baby's safe and home dream was
Speaker 1: body just bounced right back.
Speaker 2: I wanted it to be that so bad. I didn't
Speaker 2: even feel right going into the doctor. But she had
Speaker 2: mentioned that my placenta looked a little bit older, and
Speaker 2: that apparently came out to be not true. She just
Speaker 2: wanted me to have the baby while she was in
Speaker 2: town before she went out of town to spring BA.
Speaker 3: So that's why it's annoying.
Speaker 1: Not putting an old ass placenta on you, because she
Speaker 1: had planned.
Speaker 3: Honey, my placenta came out good. The other doctor was like,
Speaker 3: do you want it?
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, cool, send it off, Let's make some pills
Speaker 2: out of it, and let's do whatever we want to
Speaker 2: do with it. But it's she was like, it's completely fine.
Speaker 2: We took it to a specialist. They're like, this is
Speaker 2: a perfectly healthy, healthy placenta.
Speaker 3: So I was like, it wasn't.
Speaker 1: A geriatric placentum like adolescent fresh adults, you know, young
Speaker 1: with for snapper.
Speaker 2: Young snapper, giving her all the protein and nutrient she needed,
Speaker 2: all the things. And because I was induced, therefore she
Speaker 2: wasn't ready to come out, and that's why it took
Speaker 2: me forty hours.
Speaker 3: I was like, at one point I just let go,
Speaker 3: let God.
Speaker 2: And I was like, I'm not going to judge myself. No,
Speaker 2: You're gonna let mysel get the medication. And boy when
Speaker 2: that medication.
Speaker 3: Hit, boy, this is so nice in here. So this
Speaker 3: is great this hospital.
Speaker 2: And so the whole process after that, I did push
Speaker 2: her out vaginally.
Speaker 3: It did not take long at all.
Speaker 2: The doctor was like, you must be a performers.
Speaker 1: The core the deep corn was like for years.
Speaker 3: So it was here, Yeah, she's here. I love it.
Speaker 2: And yeah, So for anybody that is pregnant or wants
Speaker 2: to be pregnant, or it has had a million babies
Speaker 2: and you know, just wants any extra input from me,
Speaker 2: let me tell you something. This breastfeeding life is no joke.
Speaker 2: I'm only about five months in and I'm so proud
Speaker 2: of myself because I didn't know how long I could.
Speaker 2: It's still waking up in the middle of the night
Speaker 2: and still having a pump pump, I'm still doing that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've joked, but it's very serious that once you
Speaker 1: become a mom, like being tired is like something that
Speaker 1: happens in perpetuity, like you're never going to get enough sleep.
Speaker 3: It's just what it is.
Speaker 2: When you get used to the being tired, that's when
Speaker 2: you overcome. I think that's what I mean by just
Speaker 2: getting thick skin, because it's like I'm not phased by
Speaker 2: being tired.
Speaker 3: I'll get over it, yeah, but but never really do though.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're worried about breastfeeding, Now there's gonna be something
Speaker 1: else that you're gonna be worried about it Like your
Speaker 1: brain just never shoved off. I'm already worried about my
Speaker 1: children being adults and they're not there yet, so worried
Speaker 1: about and that moms just tend to have.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I got crazy like anxiety with thinking that things
Speaker 2: would go wrong right, like I'm going to work, I'm
Speaker 2: going to break her little arm when lifting her up,
Speaker 2: like the craziest mom.
Speaker 3: Anxiety that I've never had.
Speaker 2: There, So the most surprising thing to answer your question
Speaker 2: has been the breastfeeding process and really just needing help
Speaker 2: from family and friends, like calling on the village.
Speaker 3: Well, I love that for you. I love that you
Speaker 3: have a village nearby.
Speaker 1: That you can call on the best, that you and
Speaker 1: your husband Omar have been doing a phenomenal job from
Speaker 1: what I can see so far, and just being so
Speaker 1: invested in your wellness and in yourself and in your daughter,
Speaker 1: but even more importantly sharing your PCOS journey through your
Speaker 1: book over here, Living with PCOS The Road to Recovery.
Speaker 3: I love that so much for you.
Speaker 1: If you have issues with PCOS, if you have not
Speaker 1: been diagnosed, if you suspect that you may be living
Speaker 1: with PCOS, there's answers.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And I love that.
Speaker 1: Candice has put that in a book that has recipes,
Speaker 1: what else does it happens?
Speaker 2: Work out guide recipes, all the things to take out
Speaker 2: of your pantry, and just from different specialists. I got
Speaker 2: different scientists in there, different specialists in there to give
Speaker 2: all the information for anybody that has PCOS.
Speaker 3: Also, and where can people find the book PCOS with
Speaker 3: Candace dot Com. Oh, that's easy.
Speaker 1: We can remember that PCOS with Candace dot Com. And
Speaker 1: where can folks find you? If they want to follow
Speaker 1: more of your beautiful family and more of your journey,
Speaker 1: tell them where they can find you.
Speaker 3: They can find me at Candace. That's it. That's the
Speaker 3: A and dic. You got that name? I did? I did?
Speaker 1: Like what were you on the first Like? Were you
Speaker 1: the first Instagram subscarber? Because there's so many canvases in
Speaker 1: the world. I fact that you just got Candace alone.
Speaker 1: Never give that up.
Speaker 2: Hey, listen, I got lucky one time then pulled it
Speaker 2: over to every.
Speaker 3: Single other app. That's all I can say. You're not
Speaker 3: a gambler, Like, I'm not going to try anything else.
Speaker 3: It worked, It worked, I worked for you.
Speaker 1: Well, thank you so much for sitting with me, Candas.
Speaker 1: I feel like eventually you can come back for another
Speaker 1: episode with me where we can talk something else, because
Speaker 1: there's like so many parts of.
Speaker 3: Your life with it that we have not touched.
Speaker 1: All Right, let's take a quick break having such an
Speaker 1: awesome conversation with Candace, and we will be back with
Speaker 1: a quick listener letter.
Speaker 3: Stay tuned.
Speaker 1: All right, y'all were back, and Candace was just talking
Speaker 1: about like that's it.
Speaker 3: That's like, I feel like that's just a girl.
Speaker 1: I could talk to you for hours and hours and hours.
Speaker 3: I could wow And yeah, I got karaoke part too.
Speaker 3: Brestmolk showers at the period for your.
Speaker 1: Man though period, I got you been there with the
Speaker 1: breast milk showers.
Speaker 3: Okay, she's like been there.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's reserved for.
Speaker 3: Them double loaf.
Speaker 1: All right, let's jump in really quick to a quick
Speaker 1: listener letter.
Speaker 3: I'm Candace.
Speaker 1: Hopefully you can give a couple of words of advice
Speaker 1: because typically people write in with something that they're struggling
Speaker 1: with or they want some to Here are two cents,
Speaker 1: you know, so well we'll listen now, all right. I've
Speaker 1: been with my now fiance for four years. We have
Speaker 1: three children from a previous relationship and he has two
Speaker 1: from his previous marriage. We both decided that we want
Speaker 1: a baby together. In the process of trying, we found
Speaker 1: out that I have PCOS. This causes weight gain, leads
Speaker 1: the diabetes, and causes infertility. Not to mention, I suffer
Speaker 1: from Hashimoto disease, which means my thyroid does not produce
Speaker 1: enough hormones. Although I have all this going on, I
Speaker 1: managed to get pregnant, but unfortunately had a miscarriage.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry about that.
Speaker 1: I'm thirty seven years old, which means my pregnancy should
Speaker 1: be considered geriatric. They did tell me that, and I
Speaker 1: was like, don't disrespect me with this cheriatric term. Don't
Speaker 1: be labeling me.
Speaker 3: So I understand.
Speaker 1: I diet and exercise to keep the process of conceiving,
Speaker 1: to help the process of conceiving. Rather. I watched After Shock,
Speaker 1: Thank you Kudine for a shining light on this subject,
Speaker 1: and was in tears through the entire movie.
Speaker 3: I understand I was two girl.
Speaker 1: I was aware of mortality rate, but not aware of
Speaker 1: how high the rate was. Watching this movie really opened
Speaker 1: my eyes and gave me a real wake up call.
Speaker 3: These women had. These women had no pre existing.
Speaker 1: Condition, trusted their life and their children's lives in the
Speaker 1: hands of people who were supposed to care for them
Speaker 1: throughout their journey. My fear is I get over everything
Speaker 1: I personally have going on with my body, become pregnant.
Speaker 1: My baby doesn't get to enjoy me, while at the
Speaker 1: same time, the love of my life and my children
Speaker 1: suffer from the loss of me because of negligence. Although
Speaker 1: God got me, he only helps those who help themselves.
Speaker 1: How can I get over this fear of something I
Speaker 1: cannot control? Please help? Have you experienced any pregnancy losses ever?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: No, I've been on calls and because of the PCOS
Speaker 2: association while I was pregnant, I was having the same
Speaker 2: kind of fears because I was on calls with women
Speaker 2: that had PCOS and they were dealing with different things.
Speaker 2: There was actually one lady that was on the call
Speaker 2: that day she said, excuse me, hold on until the restroom.
Speaker 2: Came back on the call my jon secretly pregnant, and
Speaker 2: she was like, I just lost I just lost my baby,
Speaker 2: and I don't know what to do. I'm bleeding, I
Speaker 2: gotta like kind of got to go. So it was
Speaker 2: very firsthand with women that are going through it. So
Speaker 2: I personally haven't, but it was definitely a fear of mine,
Speaker 2: and I could see how because of all the things
Speaker 2: that women with PCOS, all the things that we have
Speaker 2: to go through, So it was definitely a thought and
Speaker 2: had to think kind of an advance if it does happen, Yes,
Speaker 2: I think.
Speaker 3: We always have.
Speaker 1: Of course, I suffered from a miscarriage between my third
Speaker 1: and fourth son, and I was never diagnosed with PCOS.
Speaker 1: And for the for the most part, I would say
Speaker 1: had pretty textbook pregnancies and conceived fairly easily, with the
Speaker 1: exception of before Cairo.
Speaker 2: But and it's while that it was between your third
Speaker 2: and the fourth, like who.
Speaker 1: Would have thought, right, But they do say one in
Speaker 1: four pregnancies normally end in some sort of miscarriage. And
Speaker 1: it can be in a ray of things. It can
Speaker 1: just be that, you know, chromosonally, the baby is not
Speaker 1: you know, up to par there's like things that your
Speaker 1: body does naturally when that fetus or at the time
Speaker 1: it's only just maybe in zygote, you know, they're just
Speaker 1: not prepared to make the journey. So it doesn't take
Speaker 1: away from the loss or the hurt that you feel
Speaker 1: once you get that news or you know, like for me,
Speaker 1: I went to the doctor and was having some spotting,
Speaker 1: heard the heartbeat. They told me it was a viable pregnancy.
Speaker 1: Deval was away filming. I was back in California with
Speaker 1: our boys, and I told the story on a podcast
Speaker 1: with my friend Crystal that they told me it was
Speaker 1: a viable pregnancy to go home and just rest for
Speaker 1: a little bit bit of bedrist went home, felt some cramping.
Speaker 1: I was on FaceTime with de Val, went to the
Speaker 1: bathroom and pulled my underway down and it was literally
Speaker 1: like everything He's on FaceTime on the floor in the
Speaker 1: bathroom and miscarried that baby. Of course, was devastated. He's
Speaker 1: in Atlanta, I'm in California. And then outside my door
Speaker 1: where my boys knocking, like, Mom, are we gonna make
Speaker 1: pizza now? Because we were supposed to make pizza for dinner.
Speaker 1: You know what mom does. Mom cleans everything up and
Speaker 1: gets to it, wipes her tears and gets to making pizza.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But it's the duality of existing in this space of
Speaker 1: being great that you have children, but then also knowing
Speaker 1: what could have been.
Speaker 3: Two things could be true at once at the same time.
Speaker 1: This is his name for that. What is that called
Speaker 1: divine dichotomy? I believe, I think, yeah, yeah, So to
Speaker 1: speak directly to this listener letter, I do believe that
Speaker 1: there's the power in what you think. Is a power
Speaker 1: in what you believe. There's a power in what you affirm.
Speaker 1: There's a power in what you manifest, is a power
Speaker 1: in what you pray for, and I think consuming yourself
Speaker 1: with the fear that's not of God right to consume
Speaker 1: yourself with the fear of something going wrong. Once you
Speaker 1: can release yourself of that fear and exist in the
Speaker 1: space of gratitude, positivity, praying and hoping for the best,
Speaker 1: doing the things that are within your control and.
Speaker 3: Your body.
Speaker 2: Even though it's the diet, make sure it's the right diet,
Speaker 2: like things like that, little things like the alkaline foods,
Speaker 2: rather than just going and completely cutting out meat. It's
Speaker 2: like deeper than that, the process foods, things like that,
Speaker 2: trying trying different things and staying positive. The tongue is
Speaker 2: so so or or, and do not rebuke it. Absolutely
Speaker 2: rebuke it.
Speaker 1: You have to sis rebuke it, rebuke it, prey on it,
Speaker 1: think positively, and get Candace's book if you're struggling with PCOS.
Speaker 1: Ultimately that will give you a little bit more insight
Speaker 1: into how you can take control of this syndrome.
Speaker 3: So I know, I know you.
Speaker 1: Said there's support groups out there, there's associations, So maybe
Speaker 1: doing the work to find those things the same way
Speaker 1: you found that documentary, which I know aftershot can be
Speaker 1: very very hard to watch, but it is the reality.
Speaker 1: So I do believe that once you are aware and
Speaker 1: you have done your research and you know better, we
Speaker 1: tend to make the steps towards doing better. So all
Speaker 1: the best to you and your family. Appreciate you writing in,
Speaker 1: and if you want to be on our listener letters,
Speaker 1: be sure to email us at dead as Advice at
Speaker 1: gmail dot com. So to wrap things up, we normally
Speaker 1: devour I would do like a moment of truth, which
Speaker 1: is just like recapping the episodes. Think you took away
Speaker 1: something that might have clicked to you that you never
Speaker 1: thought of before. But for me with my A day
Speaker 1: with k you know, guests, I like to end with
Speaker 1: tell me something that you're dead ass about.
Speaker 3: Oh, the first thing that come to mind is going
Speaker 3: to be ridiculous. What is it?
Speaker 2: The tittieses, y'all, I'm dead I mean, it doesn't have
Speaker 2: to do this what we were talking about.
Speaker 3: But I'm dead ass about my man and our family.
Speaker 3: My man. I don't play about my family, and I
Speaker 3: don't play about love.
Speaker 2: And I think that I love love so much and
Speaker 2: I'm going to openly conversate about it and speak about
Speaker 2: it because for such a long time I was in
Speaker 2: a music industry where you kind of just put that aside.
Speaker 3: You are this one thing. You are a successful woman.
Speaker 2: You are a go getter, and anything with relationships and
Speaker 2: love and family is kind of on the back burner
Speaker 2: and kind of growing into the woman that I am
Speaker 2: now leaning into what has always motivated me seeing my
Speaker 2: parents together growing up and you know, being in a
Speaker 2: loving family and a loving home.
Speaker 3: I know that I always knew that I really really
Speaker 3: wanted that.
Speaker 2: So moving in that light and being grown now and
Speaker 2: looking back and being like, h I can have both
Speaker 2: or I can't do that.
Speaker 3: I'm dead ass about my family. I don't play about that.
Speaker 3: I love that.
Speaker 1: And you see, you've mentioned something that's really key because
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, being in the entertainment industry, like
Speaker 1: you said, living in that space then now transitioning to
Speaker 1: family and then wanting to maybe transition back into dancing
Speaker 1: and acting all those things. You can do all the things,
Speaker 1: and the best part about it is when you're dead
Speaker 1: ass about your family and your man and your support
Speaker 1: system and your village, they're the ones that you lean
Speaker 1: on that will allow you to.
Speaker 3: Exist in both spaces.
Speaker 1: Yep, being wife, being mom and being the career woman
Speaker 1: that you aspire to be.
Speaker 3: It'll light up the stage, if anything.
Speaker 1: Baby even brighter, even brighter. And I like to tell
Speaker 1: my first time moms there's so much stress put on
Speaker 1: getting back to yourself. Do you think about the snap
Speaker 1: back right and not just physically but just everything, wanting
Speaker 1: to be yourself again. And I've I've been telling my
Speaker 1: new moms that that's not the case. You're never going
Speaker 1: to be who you were before you had children. It's
Speaker 1: about discovering who the new person is, who's the new candae,
Speaker 1: What does she look like, what is she invested in,
Speaker 1: what is she no longer tolerating? What boundaries is she
Speaker 1: putting up? So always thinking about what you're going to
Speaker 1: look like moving forward to be the best version of
Speaker 1: yourself for your husband and your daughter, the new version.
Speaker 2: I love that that's important and I appreciate that, Jim,
Speaker 2: because yes, very much so new mom going through the things,
Speaker 2: trying to figure out who I am after the fact,
Speaker 2: And it's something that I'm glad you got to tell
Speaker 2: me that because you have been there, You've done it.
Speaker 3: I am multiple times times. Maybe that's what I tell
Speaker 3: people all the time. So I'm like, if it was
Speaker 3: that bad.
Speaker 1: I know you're in the trenches now, but if it
Speaker 1: was that bad, we'll all be only children.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, but how we get amnesia?
Speaker 1: I forget and we be loving our man so much
Speaker 1: that it happens again and.
Speaker 3: Again and again and in my case right.
Speaker 1: And we just keep on going. But they're so worth it,
Speaker 1: and it was so worth sitting down with you. I'm
Speaker 1: so happy, happy that we made the trip to the
Speaker 1: West Side into LA to chit chat for a little bit.
Speaker 1: And I'll be sure to have you back whenever we can.
Speaker 2: Thank you for calling on me, and I'm so glad
Speaker 2: that you called me for this, and I'm just so
Speaker 2: appreciative to be here to be able to speak to
Speaker 2: you and speak to your audience.
Speaker 3: Thank you so much. I'm just I'm just I really
Speaker 3: feel honored. So we love you. Candy Girl. Oh that's
Speaker 3: another karaoke song.
Speaker 2: Candy Girl, you are our lot, so sweet baby.
Speaker 3: No, I don't know. I feel like they we're singing
Speaker 3: that to me when I was a kid. That was
Speaker 3: my song. It was your song.
Speaker 1: Oh, oh my god, karaoke this episode, y'all all right?
Speaker 1: Be sure to find us on Patreon to see exclusive
Speaker 1: dead Ass podcast video content. You can also follow us
Speaker 1: on social media dead Ass the Podcast, I'm Kadeine I
Speaker 1: am and of course don't forget Mabu Devel I am
Speaker 1: Deval And if you are listening on Apple Podcasts, please
Speaker 1: be sure to rate, review and subscribe. Dead Ass Baby,
Speaker 1: Love You, Girl, Let it Got.
Speaker 4: Dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast Network and
Speaker 4: is produced by Donor, Pina and Trible. Follow the podcast
Speaker 4: on social media at dead Ass the Podcast and never
Speaker 4: miss a Thing