WEBVTT - Wear Protection 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.640 Hell I Suck It Dating with Dengler and Jared Haven 0:00:04.920 --> 0:00:11.240 and I Heard Radio Podcast. Welcome back to an all 0:00:11.240 --> 0:00:16.120 new episode of Help I Suck It Dating. We're coming 0:00:16.160 --> 0:00:18.599 at you from different parts of the world, just like 0:00:18.640 --> 0:00:21.040 we have been for the past few months, in the 0:00:21.079 --> 0:00:23.400 wake of our last episode where we got to speak 0:00:23.400 --> 0:00:25.279 with dr Ish and Jubilie. If you haven't had the 0:00:25.320 --> 0:00:27.720 chance to check that one out, be sure to tune 0:00:27.720 --> 0:00:29.760 tune into that one. It's it's definitely worth your list, 0:00:29.800 --> 0:00:32.479 and they're both incredibly insightful. We got a great episode 0:00:32.479 --> 0:00:35.440 for everyone today. We are going to be talking with 0:00:35.720 --> 0:00:39.920 Tasia Adams, one of our recurring wonderful guests. Later on 0:00:40.000 --> 0:00:44.440 in the show, Jared also discovered a few interesting articles 0:00:44.479 --> 0:00:49.040 regarding the novel Coronavirus that I think he wants to 0:00:49.080 --> 0:00:52.400 run over with us as well. Jared, what do you got? Hello, Dean? 0:00:52.440 --> 0:00:54.279 How are you? Oh? I'm so sorry. I didn't even 0:00:54.280 --> 0:00:55.720 ask how you are. I'm great, Thank you so much 0:00:55.720 --> 0:00:57.200 for you don't have to Oh no, no, I didn't 0:00:57.200 --> 0:00:58.760 mean it that way. My bad. That came off. I 0:00:58.800 --> 0:01:01.279 was just saying hello as if like, how are you? 0:01:01.360 --> 0:01:04.560 Because you're recording from your van and so you're like 0:01:04.600 --> 0:01:07.280 back in van life. Now. Can you see me glistening? 0:01:07.280 --> 0:01:09.800 Because I know I'm sweating right now. I got the 0:01:09.800 --> 0:01:11.840 fan on full blast, but it's not helping too much. 0:01:11.880 --> 0:01:14.360 How's your like feeling? It's funny you ask, because I 0:01:14.440 --> 0:01:17.800 just right before filming recording this podcast, I walked into 0:01:17.800 --> 0:01:20.520 a gas station to get some ice cold water, and 0:01:20.680 --> 0:01:22.640 I was limping the whole time because it's just I 0:01:22.680 --> 0:01:24.679 went on like a long hike today and it's just 0:01:24.800 --> 0:01:26.920 really painful now. But other than that's good. Do you 0:01:26.920 --> 0:01:31.920 wear a mask on the hike now? I didn't not 0:01:32.000 --> 0:01:34.920 the hike the when you went to the gas station? Oh, 0:01:35.040 --> 0:01:37.120 I wear a mask. I actually hiked with a mask 0:01:37.240 --> 0:01:40.479 yesterday too. I I definitely wear the mask more often 0:01:40.480 --> 0:01:44.680 than not. It's funny too, because I don't want to 0:01:44.680 --> 0:01:46.600 take away from your your your article you want to 0:01:46.640 --> 0:01:48.040 get to, but I just want to share this real quick. 0:01:48.160 --> 0:01:51.720 Is I've been kind of driving around a little bit lately. 0:01:51.840 --> 0:01:54.880 Like you know, I saw my brother in South Dakota, uh, 0:01:54.880 --> 0:01:57.000 and now I'm in Utah and I've been driving through 0:01:57.040 --> 0:02:01.680 these states like Utah, Wyoming, South Dakota, and no one 0:02:01.760 --> 0:02:05.600 seems to care about coronavirus, Like, especially in Los Angeles, 0:02:05.680 --> 0:02:09.119 I feel like we're, um, we we are being much 0:02:09.120 --> 0:02:12.880 more protective and I guess I don't know the word 0:02:12.919 --> 0:02:15.520 but safe than from what I've experienced other parts of 0:02:15.520 --> 0:02:17.360 the country where you know, I walked into a gas 0:02:17.360 --> 0:02:19.560 station like a week ago, and there was like a 0:02:19.800 --> 0:02:23.040 like a twelve year old baseball team, like just finished 0:02:23.040 --> 0:02:25.120 playing a baseball game. None of them are wearing masks. 0:02:25.120 --> 0:02:27.200 They're all like high five in and like hugging and stuff. 0:02:27.200 --> 0:02:29.520 And I was like this, it was kind of crazy 0:02:29.520 --> 0:02:31.160 to see how the rest of the not the rest, 0:02:31.200 --> 0:02:34.720 but other parts of the country are handling the situation. Yeah, 0:02:34.720 --> 0:02:37.639 that sounds terrifying. It is crazy. Uh. And there is 0:02:37.680 --> 0:02:39.600 one article that I really want to talk about where 0:02:41.000 --> 0:02:45.160 it talks about having sex with someone while wearing a mask. 0:02:45.480 --> 0:02:48.640 And before before we dive into that one, I just 0:02:48.680 --> 0:02:51.600 want to say, uh, because of everything that's going on 0:02:51.639 --> 0:02:55.280 in the world right now, we're gonna be talking about uh, 0:02:55.440 --> 0:02:57.440 current events and our thoughts on it because it's a 0:02:57.480 --> 0:03:00.280 conversation we want to continue having from last week's pod cast, 0:03:00.360 --> 0:03:02.880 but we also want to talk about dating topics as well, 0:03:02.880 --> 0:03:05.600 because we're dating podcasts and so we just want to 0:03:05.600 --> 0:03:08.440 make sure that everybody knows that this isn't us telling 0:03:08.480 --> 0:03:10.560 you what we think is important. It's more of just 0:03:10.840 --> 0:03:14.200 a production decision that we want to talk about dating 0:03:14.240 --> 0:03:17.040 as well, because after all, we are help. I suck 0:03:17.080 --> 0:03:20.800 at dating, which is interesting that the name came from Dean. 0:03:21.160 --> 0:03:23.840 It's so funny, Dean, that everybody thought you sucked at dating. 0:03:24.080 --> 0:03:28.280 You don't suck at dating. I definitely suck at dating. Yeah, 0:03:28.320 --> 0:03:31.160 I don't know anyway. So there's a there's a couple. 0:03:31.560 --> 0:03:34.560 One article caught my eye. It's from The Independent, and 0:03:34.760 --> 0:03:38.880 so it's titled Couples should have sex wearing a mask 0:03:39.120 --> 0:03:43.800 to reduce risk of transmitting coronavirus. Study suggests, first of all, 0:03:44.000 --> 0:03:46.320 what are your thoughts, Dean about wearing a master and sex. 0:03:47.120 --> 0:03:48.720 It's gotta be the dumbest thing I've ever heard in 0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:52.560 my life, And so I kind of a great Couples 0:03:52.680 --> 0:03:55.000 should have sex while wearing face master reduced the risk 0:03:55.040 --> 0:03:58.120 of transmitting COVID nineteen to one another. On May, researchers 0:03:58.120 --> 0:04:01.320 at Harvard published a study in the Urnal of Anals 0:04:01.360 --> 0:04:03.839 of Internal Medicine on the safest ways to have sex 0:04:03.920 --> 0:04:06.920 during the coronavirus outbreak. On Monday, new laws were implemented 0:04:06.920 --> 0:04:11.280 in England that made it illegal for couples who live 0:04:11.400 --> 0:04:15.560 in different homes to have sex indoors and stay overnight. 0:04:15.920 --> 0:04:20.039 That I find really unfair. So you're telling me that 0:04:20.080 --> 0:04:23.200 if you're single right now, you're lonely. Uh, You're you're 0:04:23.279 --> 0:04:26.440 you're probably in a depressed state because you don't have 0:04:26.480 --> 0:04:29.360 any human interaction. You've been quarantined for three months. There's 0:04:29.360 --> 0:04:31.360 a lot of things that are happening in the world 0:04:31.360 --> 0:04:34.920 that are overwhelming. Dean. What are your thoughts about making 0:04:34.920 --> 0:04:37.240 it illegal for someone to have and not be able 0:04:37.240 --> 0:04:40.520 to have sex, uh with someone who's not in their house. Well, 0:04:40.600 --> 0:04:42.520 a couple of things. If you if you read the 0:04:42.520 --> 0:04:45.159 fine print of that article that you just shared, at 0:04:45.240 --> 0:04:47.360 least the way that you ordered, it said it's illegal 0:04:47.440 --> 0:04:51.000 to have sex indoors with someone from another household, which 0:04:51.080 --> 0:04:53.320 means all you gotta do is go outside and have 0:04:53.360 --> 0:04:55.960 sex outside somewhere about it being bought a boom, You 0:04:56.000 --> 0:04:58.520 cheat the system. You're still getting the thing that you 0:04:58.560 --> 0:05:00.359 want most. Yeah, just go to the world, have a 0:05:00.400 --> 0:05:03.360 quickie behind the tree, and you'll be fine. Exactly. I 0:05:03.400 --> 0:05:04.880 don't know, I don't understand how you could put a 0:05:04.920 --> 0:05:10.160 police that just it's I just don't understand how that 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:13.039 can be policed. Like they catch someone on the on 0:05:13.080 --> 0:05:14.600 the Walk of Shame home or something like that, and 0:05:14.600 --> 0:05:16.960 they're like, hey, what were you doing? Uh, and they 0:05:17.000 --> 0:05:19.800 do like a a vaginal swab or something. You just 0:05:19.839 --> 0:05:22.960 had sex. You're going to prison because that's against the law. 0:05:23.880 --> 0:05:26.159 I just don't understand. I think that's crazy. I don't 0:05:26.200 --> 0:05:29.640 understand the masks while having sex either, because like you're 0:05:29.680 --> 0:05:35.520 already in close proximity, your mucous membranes down stairs are 0:05:35.600 --> 0:05:39.880 interacting with one another. Uh, it doesn't matter what's a 0:05:39.960 --> 0:05:41.680 masking to do. You're gonna not breathe on each other, 0:05:41.720 --> 0:05:43.840 but you're still interacting in ways that are able to 0:05:43.880 --> 0:05:46.840 transfer the virus. I don't want to call Harvard stupid 0:05:47.600 --> 0:05:50.560 because it's Harvard, but that article is stupid and it 0:05:50.600 --> 0:05:52.479 doesn't make sense to me, and because of that, I 0:05:52.600 --> 0:05:57.840 rebuke it as fact. Yeah, man, there's gonna come a 0:05:57.880 --> 0:06:01.440 point throughout this entire thing where Austin as human beings, 0:06:01.480 --> 0:06:03.040 we're just gonna have to start taking Its going to 0:06:03.120 --> 0:06:05.520 be an early wave of adopters in a late wave 0:06:05.560 --> 0:06:09.520 of adopters for that, and you can already kind of 0:06:09.560 --> 0:06:11.720 see it happening where it's like people are slowly going 0:06:11.760 --> 0:06:13.920 back to their normal life. Going to the beach is more, 0:06:14.320 --> 0:06:17.760 meeting up with small groups of friends, just going outside 0:06:17.839 --> 0:06:22.320 more I'm driving, um, Whereas for the two months prior, 0:06:22.400 --> 0:06:24.919 I was, you know, self conquarantined with Kalin in the 0:06:24.960 --> 0:06:28.120 apartment and in Los Angeles. So I think you just 0:06:28.160 --> 0:06:30.159 get like a way of early adopters that are willing 0:06:30.200 --> 0:06:35.040 to i don't know, like risk it but not really 0:06:35.200 --> 0:06:39.160 risk it, but then also have to handle the social 0:06:39.600 --> 0:06:43.000 repercussions of it. Um. Like for me, for instance, in 0:06:43.040 --> 0:06:44.640 my van, I actually kind of went back and forth 0:06:44.640 --> 0:06:47.040 a lot about this because so my brother was rock 0:06:47.040 --> 0:06:50.720 climbing in South Dakota a few weeks ago, while the 0:06:50.760 --> 0:06:52.080 same week that he was supposed to be having his 0:06:52.120 --> 0:06:54.400 wedding down in Mexico, and I was like, well, I 0:06:54.400 --> 0:06:56.440 really want to see my brother and his fiance, especially 0:06:56.480 --> 0:06:58.280 during this time whether they're supposed to be getting married, 0:06:58.520 --> 0:07:00.320 but is it appropriate for me to be tryed raveling 0:07:00.360 --> 0:07:02.080 that far? And I was like okay, yeah, Like I'm 0:07:02.120 --> 0:07:05.800 in my van. There's literally no difference for me taking 0:07:05.800 --> 0:07:08.720 my van from l A to South Dakota as it 0:07:08.760 --> 0:07:10.640 is staying in the apartment with Kaylin, Like I'm still 0:07:10.760 --> 0:07:12.720 the only interaction of having with people are in the 0:07:12.760 --> 0:07:14.320 grocery store when I go to get the food that 0:07:14.320 --> 0:07:16.600 we're going to prepare in the van, or at the 0:07:16.640 --> 0:07:18.520 gas station when I'm filling up, which I don't even 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:22.520 interact with people. So it's like my my interpersonal interaction 0:07:22.640 --> 0:07:25.000 is still the same, if not less. I would say 0:07:25.240 --> 0:07:27.120 when I'm driving in on the road, like I've been 0:07:27.160 --> 0:07:29.000 on the road for two and a half three weeks now, 0:07:29.000 --> 0:07:32.320 when I have been in isolation by myself for the 0:07:32.320 --> 0:07:36.640 past week, and I like I try to avoid people, 0:07:36.640 --> 0:07:39.560 whereas back home I would like hang out with a 0:07:39.600 --> 0:07:42.600 friend everyone like once a week, or um go for 0:07:42.680 --> 0:07:44.960 a walk where I'm passing by people in Los Angeles. 0:07:45.120 --> 0:07:48.840 So it's like, I don't know, there's gonna be early 0:07:48.840 --> 0:07:50.440 adoptors and light adoptors in my opinion, Jared, what do 0:07:50.440 --> 0:07:52.760 you think I was surprised to hear you say something 0:07:52.800 --> 0:07:55.160 like that, because if I had a guess, I would 0:07:55.160 --> 0:07:59.400 think that you're gonna be a late adopter. No, I'm 0:07:59.480 --> 0:08:01.360 just trying to give this thing with common sense. I 0:08:01.440 --> 0:08:05.760 take coronavirus very seriously. I wear a mask everywhere I go. 0:08:06.000 --> 0:08:11.280 I tried to avoid crowds. Um. I always try to 0:08:11.360 --> 0:08:16.720 stay outside most of the time. Um like, um, you know, 0:08:16.880 --> 0:08:18.400 we had a friend come over and we had a 0:08:18.440 --> 0:08:21.320 fire outside and they stay. It was it was truly 0:08:21.320 --> 0:08:24.320 didn't feeling differently because they were six ft away and 0:08:24.400 --> 0:08:30.200 we were outside and listen, at some point, we're just 0:08:30.200 --> 0:08:32.040 gonna have to start going back to normal life, Like 0:08:32.080 --> 0:08:34.840 we can't what you're supposed to tell someone who's quarantined 0:08:34.880 --> 0:08:37.480 by themselves inside their home and they're probably depressed and 0:08:37.520 --> 0:08:39.559 lonely and not working right now, and you're telling them 0:08:39.600 --> 0:08:42.800 that what they're supposed to just do this for however 0:08:42.920 --> 0:08:47.640 long until we get a vaccine in one. That's ridiculous. 0:08:47.640 --> 0:08:50.480 It's impossible. Hey, I'm surprised to hear you say that, 0:08:50.520 --> 0:08:55.520 because you, uh, borderline hypochondriac. In my opinion, you like 0:08:55.720 --> 0:09:00.840 you but you yeah, not way, but you're like you 0:09:00.920 --> 0:09:04.080 definitely like to think of the consequences of your actions 0:09:04.160 --> 0:09:07.200 and the possible repercussions for them a lot more than 0:09:07.400 --> 0:09:10.199 than some people. Which it's it's good and bad in 0:09:10.720 --> 0:09:13.960 certain ways a lot more than Ashley. I can tell 0:09:14.000 --> 0:09:18.320 you that um to the whole reason for self quarantine 0:09:18.320 --> 0:09:20.440 and can correct me if I'm wrong here. It was 0:09:20.480 --> 0:09:22.839 never to stay inside until we found a vaccine. It 0:09:22.960 --> 0:09:30.240 was to flatten the curve, to have open beds for uh, 0:09:30.400 --> 0:09:36.640 for for COVID patients, right. I agree, man, Like, especially 0:09:36.679 --> 0:09:38.480 in the dating world, so you're supposed to have sex 0:09:38.520 --> 0:09:42.120 now with with a mask on. I mean, it just 0:09:42.160 --> 0:09:45.840 takes out all human uh intimacy. If you're not able 0:09:45.880 --> 0:09:48.960 to kiss someone, um, if you're not able to see 0:09:49.000 --> 0:09:52.160 their face fully, you know there's there's an intimacy there 0:09:52.720 --> 0:09:55.480 that that would be missing. And man, we've grown so 0:09:55.640 --> 0:10:00.160 apart because of because of the Internet and social media, um, 0:10:00.280 --> 0:10:03.760 and we've we've come to a state where we don't 0:10:03.800 --> 0:10:05.600 even need to be in the same room as somebody. 0:10:05.600 --> 0:10:08.400 We don't need to touch anybody anymore. And I'm just 0:10:08.600 --> 0:10:11.400 I'm I'm concerned about that because I think it's human beings. 0:10:11.440 --> 0:10:14.120 We need touch, we need human interaction, we need to 0:10:14.120 --> 0:10:17.319 be in a relationship with another human being. I was 0:10:17.360 --> 0:10:19.480 actually watching this thing on Netflix last night. It was 0:10:19.640 --> 0:10:22.600 History one on one, and they're like twenty minute episodes 0:10:22.640 --> 0:10:24.960 and one of them was about robots and there was 0:10:25.080 --> 0:10:29.920 like they did a study, uh, and there was like 0:10:31.640 --> 0:10:34.240 of this study and this was in Japan said they'd 0:10:34.320 --> 0:10:36.160 rather be in a relationship with a robot than a 0:10:36.200 --> 0:10:41.800 real person. And this is like futuristic Blade Runner type 0:10:41.840 --> 0:10:45.880 stuff that concerns me. To bring it back to that article, 0:10:46.559 --> 0:10:48.640 are you guys telling me there's never been a time 0:10:48.640 --> 0:10:52.320 where you've had sex where maybe there wasn't a lot 0:10:52.360 --> 0:10:56.600 of there was little to no kissing, Yeah, but they 0:10:56.600 --> 0:10:58.760 were still kissing. I've never had sex with someone and 0:10:58.800 --> 0:11:01.920 not kissing. Let's say there's like those rounds where maybe 0:11:01.920 --> 0:11:04.280 you don't have you kiss as much as always, what's 0:11:04.320 --> 0:11:07.640 minus a few and you just have sex. Like that's 0:11:07.679 --> 0:11:09.320 kind of what it is with the face mask. Is 0:11:09.320 --> 0:11:12.160 it really that we give an issue? I think so, 0:11:12.320 --> 0:11:15.840 because I think for me, it's more escalation. It's like, 0:11:15.920 --> 0:11:18.360 first it's a face mask, and now we're outlawing sex 0:11:18.400 --> 0:11:21.040 with somebody who's not in your household. And that's what 0:11:21.120 --> 0:11:23.480 concerns me, is that we're just getting to this state 0:11:23.559 --> 0:11:28.120 where we're just we're gonna be isolated in our own 0:11:28.160 --> 0:11:30.240 homes because we're gonna be scared of everything, and now 0:11:30.240 --> 0:11:33.160 we're we're in master and sex and I don't know. 0:11:33.240 --> 0:11:36.280 I mean, I see your point totally. I just feel 0:11:36.320 --> 0:11:39.800 like if it's short term, everyone could just throw in 0:11:39.840 --> 0:11:42.160 a mask. There's gonna There's been a few, quite a 0:11:42.160 --> 0:11:45.920 few times somebody has had sex with people in a 0:11:45.960 --> 0:11:48.280 club where there's not a lot of kissing. You're in 0:11:48.320 --> 0:11:50.280 the bathroom, you get it done, and you walk out 0:11:50.559 --> 0:11:53.880 like kind of how to get and it's not gonna 0:11:53.880 --> 0:11:58.200 be for forever. Yeah, it all depends I guess on 0:11:58.240 --> 0:12:01.360 who it is. Is it it's a stranger, Like I, 0:12:02.000 --> 0:12:03.439 I don't want to have sex with a stranger with 0:12:03.480 --> 0:12:07.840 a mask on. I don't know. The whole thing is weird. 0:12:07.840 --> 0:12:10.160 We're just getting into uncharted territory and I have no 0:12:10.240 --> 0:12:12.439 idea what the right answer is. But I'm also concerned 0:12:12.440 --> 0:12:14.960 of escalation, like we talked about. Okay, what about this 0:12:15.080 --> 0:12:17.520 Jared and Dean? If Dean is still alive out there 0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:21.160 in Utah right now, you guys have kids, right now, 0:12:21.240 --> 0:12:24.560 Let's just imagine that you both you have a kid 0:12:24.640 --> 0:12:27.720 and who's a teenager? Are you going to tell and 0:12:27.760 --> 0:12:30.440 you know they're sexually active at this point, are you 0:12:30.480 --> 0:12:32.960 going to tell your kid, Hey, grab the condom and 0:12:33.040 --> 0:12:35.480 the face mask. Would you tell them you're not allowed 0:12:35.480 --> 0:12:37.560 to go hang out with kids or would you tell 0:12:37.600 --> 0:12:40.280 them go for it, go build out immune system. What 0:12:40.320 --> 0:12:43.280 would be your advice to the teenagers, the young college kids? 0:12:43.840 --> 0:12:48.400 What do you do? I probably just tell them that, 0:12:49.480 --> 0:12:53.960 I mean, well, that's a tough question. Hypothetically, i'd say 0:12:54.040 --> 0:12:56.480 right now that they I'd probably keep him at home 0:12:56.600 --> 0:12:59.480 right now. But that's also my kid, you know, like 0:13:01.000 --> 0:13:04.880 the government is not my dad. Um, And I'm gonna 0:13:04.960 --> 0:13:06.640 listen to what they have to say. And I want 0:13:06.640 --> 0:13:08.719 to listen to health experts, and and I'm gonna wear 0:13:08.720 --> 0:13:10.480 a mask everywhere I go, and I'm gonna try to 0:13:10.480 --> 0:13:12.840 avoid crowds and take this as seriously as possible. But 0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:16.679 you know, I'm lucky where I'm married and my significant 0:13:16.720 --> 0:13:21.400 other I live with. But like Tori, like you're a 0:13:21.480 --> 0:13:25.360 single right now, you're by yourself. What if the government 0:13:25.400 --> 0:13:29.319 told you it is illegal for you to have someone 0:13:29.400 --> 0:13:32.280 over or to go over their house. It would make 0:13:32.320 --> 0:13:37.440 me ten times more promiscuous. Yeah, you want what you 0:13:37.440 --> 0:13:40.079 can't happen to you? Now, I'm gonna go do it. 0:13:40.240 --> 0:13:42.400 So I wonder what their numbers. Would you look like now? 0:13:42.480 --> 0:13:46.160 That man was like, okay, we're jokes on you and 0:13:46.200 --> 0:13:49.000 then they go out. Would would you have sex with 0:13:49.000 --> 0:13:53.560 with a mask on? I don't know. It's not an 0:13:53.559 --> 0:13:57.200 easy question. Kissing is it's very intimate and I'm not 0:13:57.240 --> 0:14:01.000 even just talking about liplock, but like you o your 0:14:01.040 --> 0:14:03.760 lips and your tongue and there's you know, not to 0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:05.360 get to graphic here, but you know what I mean. 0:14:05.800 --> 0:14:10.400 Um and UM, I'm gonna ask you another personal question 0:14:10.400 --> 0:14:12.760 which you don't have to answer, but have you hung 0:14:12.760 --> 0:14:16.120 out with anybody during quarantine? I mean, you're single, it's 0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:20.240 been oh what three months now? Have you resisted the 0:14:20.400 --> 0:14:24.800 urge to hang out with a friend. Yeah. I've been 0:14:24.880 --> 0:14:28.040 quarantined pretty much this whole time, either with my roommates 0:14:28.200 --> 0:14:31.120 or by myself or with my family. I haven't even 0:14:31.120 --> 0:14:35.960 really like said, hey, come on over all right, Well, 0:14:36.000 --> 0:14:37.360 we want to hear what you guys have to say 0:14:37.360 --> 0:14:40.120 about it. What do you think about wearing a mastering sex? 0:14:40.360 --> 0:14:42.480 Do you think it's right that England is making it 0:14:42.600 --> 0:14:45.360 illegal for people to not be able to hang out 0:14:45.360 --> 0:14:48.080 with other people outside their household? Email us at is 0:14:48.280 --> 0:14:51.720 suck at dating at iHeart media dot com. And we 0:14:51.760 --> 0:14:54.640 also have Tasia Adams on thelan right now and we're 0:14:54.640 --> 0:15:07.760 gonna talk to her right after this short break. All right, 0:15:07.800 --> 0:15:10.480 welcome back to help I suck at dating. Dean is 0:15:10.640 --> 0:15:14.400 in his van and he apparently his computer keeps overheating, 0:15:14.440 --> 0:15:16.520 so he's very spotty right now. So I'm hoping he 0:15:16.600 --> 0:15:20.160 joins this this conversation sooner rather than later. But we 0:15:20.240 --> 0:15:23.400 have the wonderful, the amazing Tasha Adams who's joining us. Tasha, 0:15:23.880 --> 0:15:25.440 thank you so much for being here. How are you doing? 0:15:26.200 --> 0:15:28.640 Of course I that's how am I doing. It's a 0:15:28.640 --> 0:15:37.960 loaded question, but to be um short, I'm okay, You're okay? Um. Obviously, Now, 0:15:38.360 --> 0:15:42.040 Dean and I had a jubilee and uh dr each 0:15:42.120 --> 0:15:45.640 major from marriage boot camp on last week, and we 0:15:45.720 --> 0:15:47.480 talked a lot about what's going on in the world 0:15:47.560 --> 0:15:49.680 right now. But I also want to get your take 0:15:50.240 --> 0:15:55.200 about everything that's transpired over the past week. Um, how 0:15:55.240 --> 0:15:59.040 are you feeling? Um, To be quite honest with you, 0:15:59.720 --> 0:16:02.840 right here right now, as I'm sitting in my heart, 0:16:03.040 --> 0:16:07.520 I had like this anxious pit in my stomach, and UM, 0:16:07.560 --> 0:16:11.160 I can't specifically say as to what that is being 0:16:11.200 --> 0:16:14.800 caused by because there's just a lot going on. But um, 0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:21.160 I it's just it's heavy. It's heavy, everything's heavy. I'm 0:16:21.200 --> 0:16:24.000 I'm really happy it's all happening. To be quite honest 0:16:24.000 --> 0:16:29.960 with you, Um, it's a lot, it's a lot unpack. No, 0:16:30.040 --> 0:16:32.320 but I agree with you. I mean, it was I 0:16:32.360 --> 0:16:36.680 think as uh as a white person. Uh, you know, 0:16:36.720 --> 0:16:39.560 I always knew I had white privilege, but I don't 0:16:39.560 --> 0:16:44.520 think I realized the level of privilege that I had 0:16:45.440 --> 0:16:51.720 because I don't think ever came to my head that, Um, 0:16:51.760 --> 0:16:53.680 you know, when the cops show up, I feel safe, 0:16:54.040 --> 0:16:57.360 and that's a privilege that I have. And it's sad. 0:16:57.480 --> 0:17:01.200 It's sad to say that, but it's true, and it's unfortunate. 0:17:01.360 --> 0:17:04.520 It's it sucks, it's it's it's horrible that there you 0:17:04.520 --> 0:17:07.840 know that the black community can't feel the same way. 0:17:07.920 --> 0:17:09.760 And so, yeah, you're right, it was time. It was 0:17:09.800 --> 0:17:12.000 time to wake people up, to open their eyes, to 0:17:12.040 --> 0:17:15.640 realize what was happening in the world. And um, it's 0:17:15.680 --> 0:17:18.119 sad that it had to take the life of George 0:17:18.119 --> 0:17:20.480 Floyd in a video to come out on Twitter for 0:17:20.520 --> 0:17:24.320 it to happen. But like you said, I'm glad it's happening. Yeah, 0:17:24.320 --> 0:17:28.520 it just I just hate that things have to go 0:17:29.520 --> 0:17:34.280 so far in order for it to get any type 0:17:34.320 --> 0:17:39.040 of like acknowledgement, you know what I mean, as if 0:17:39.080 --> 0:17:41.440 like this has not happened in the past, as if 0:17:41.480 --> 0:17:44.560 this is like the first time it's ever happened, or 0:17:44.640 --> 0:17:47.720 a movement like this has ever happened. Um to shine 0:17:47.800 --> 0:17:52.560 light on something that's all around us, um, in order 0:17:52.600 --> 0:17:56.040 for there to be a change. So um, I am 0:17:56.080 --> 0:18:00.639 a mixed baby. My mom is actually Mexican. So what 0:18:00.760 --> 0:18:05.920 was that dynamic? Like, it's always been great. There's just 0:18:05.960 --> 0:18:07.719 been a lot of culture in my home. I guess, 0:18:07.880 --> 0:18:10.560 like I used to go to Mexico for summers at 0:18:10.560 --> 0:18:12.880 a time, and I would come back only speaking Spanish 0:18:12.920 --> 0:18:14.719 like as a kid, you know what I mean. So 0:18:15.119 --> 0:18:19.200 I have always been a diverse home. But I will 0:18:19.440 --> 0:18:24.680 say I grew up as one of the only black 0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:30.639 kids in my class. So, um, this is kind of 0:18:30.640 --> 0:18:32.800 like it's kind of crazy because I'm starting to realize 0:18:32.840 --> 0:18:38.439 things that I never realized growing up, you know. Like, um, 0:18:38.480 --> 0:18:42.399 so I posted a clip the other day about Ruby Bridges. 0:18:42.440 --> 0:18:44.880 I don't know if you know a Ruby Bridges, um, 0:18:44.920 --> 0:18:52.400 but she Okay, So after um Brown versus the Board 0:18:52.440 --> 0:18:57.400 of Education, there was basically a breakthrough saying that, um, 0:18:57.520 --> 0:19:00.600 we're not going to have segregated schools anymore. And it 0:19:00.640 --> 0:19:03.200 took about six years in order for there actually to 0:19:03.280 --> 0:19:07.840 be any action, um making, you know, an integration in 0:19:07.880 --> 0:19:11.960 the schools. And there was six children that were basically 0:19:12.040 --> 0:19:14.919 like the subjects to integrade schools, and Ruby Bridges was 0:19:14.920 --> 0:19:18.200 one of them. And she was six years old, and um, 0:19:18.240 --> 0:19:22.560 she basically was escorted, um by tons of police officers 0:19:22.640 --> 0:19:25.560 to even walk into this school because just the idea 0:19:25.560 --> 0:19:31.560 of her going to this school created huge controversy. Um 0:19:31.640 --> 0:19:34.560 it's it's it's really fascinating. I really really highly recommend 0:19:34.720 --> 0:19:37.639 to watch their actually a Disney movie on Ruby Bridges. 0:19:38.040 --> 0:19:40.880 But um, basically the second she entered that school, there 0:19:40.920 --> 0:19:44.440 was about five kids parents that walk into that school, 0:19:44.480 --> 0:19:47.000 grabbed their child and left just because Ruby was going 0:19:47.000 --> 0:19:52.840 to that school. And being young, I remember like Disney channels, 0:19:52.920 --> 0:19:54.640 like Disney Channel, so of course I watched all movies 0:19:54.680 --> 0:19:57.080 on Disney. But that movie came out and I remember 0:19:57.080 --> 0:20:02.359 being in my room and watching that move and feeling 0:20:02.440 --> 0:20:03.880 just like, oh my god, I don't know why I'm 0:20:03.880 --> 0:20:06.080 gonna cry, but I just feel so overwhelmed because I 0:20:06.160 --> 0:20:13.280 actually identified with her. I I didn't know if I 0:20:13.320 --> 0:20:17.159 don't know, just being like the only black kid, but 0:20:17.400 --> 0:20:20.680 I never felt like people were Um I don't know 0:20:20.760 --> 0:20:22.320 if people got taken out of school because of me. 0:20:22.359 --> 0:20:23.679 I didn't you know what mean, Like there was just 0:20:23.680 --> 0:20:25.400 so much you don't see and you don't know as 0:20:25.440 --> 0:20:27.840 a child that then it made me like think, like 0:20:28.080 --> 0:20:29.760 do people think this way? Have me kind of thing? 0:20:30.480 --> 0:20:33.200 And I remember just crying and watching it and and 0:20:33.240 --> 0:20:39.000 wanting to be someone with that that shined basically that 0:20:39.119 --> 0:20:42.880 wanted to have an impact on people. And so, um, 0:20:42.880 --> 0:20:44.600 when I shared that the other day, it was actually 0:20:44.680 --> 0:20:47.880 insane how many d M s I got people saying 0:20:47.880 --> 0:20:50.920 they had no idea that that was even like a thing, 0:20:51.440 --> 0:20:54.120 or that they struggled to even go to school like that. 0:20:54.680 --> 0:20:58.120 And um, yeah, so there's things like that that I've 0:20:58.200 --> 0:21:01.439 kind of like have like revisited in my mind. Um 0:21:01.480 --> 0:21:07.320 there's things like, uh, people asking, um, if I have 0:21:07.480 --> 0:21:11.200 the same parents as my siblings, because I guess it's 0:21:11.240 --> 0:21:15.720 just like kind of assumed that if you new siblings 0:21:15.720 --> 0:21:19.040 don't look necessarily alike, that you have two different parents, 0:21:19.760 --> 0:21:23.320 you have different parents, And someone was in my d 0:21:23.480 --> 0:21:25.320 MS because I addressed it the other day because I 0:21:25.359 --> 0:21:27.600 posted about my family and my people were kept asking 0:21:27.640 --> 0:21:30.200 do you and your sister have the same mom? And 0:21:30.200 --> 0:21:32.520 when I posted, like as it kind of being like 0:21:33.359 --> 0:21:35.840 I never really thought about it, but I posted to 0:21:35.920 --> 0:21:37.159 all the people that are asking if we have the 0:21:37.160 --> 0:21:38.720 same mom, of course we do, like my parents have 0:21:38.760 --> 0:21:41.960 been together since they were sixteen and eighteen. And then 0:21:42.119 --> 0:21:43.679 when I was getting the d MS of people being like, 0:21:43.680 --> 0:21:46.879