Speaker 1: Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks for
Speaker 1: joining us today. As always, we are so excited to
Speaker 1: be here. How are you doing today, Susan.
Speaker 2: I'm getting there, trying to heal, and I'm so glad
Speaker 2: to be back here today answering all of the fan
Speaker 2: questions that we get. Don't you enjoy those, guys?
Speaker 1: I love it. I love hearing the updates. I love
Speaker 1: hearing I know what people are up to. I love
Speaker 1: it when we get compliments.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's always a good thing. And so everybody, make
Speaker 2: sure you keep submitting those because we enjoy and love
Speaker 2: reading them, giving you advice, hearing your feedback, and you
Speaker 2: know how to do it right. Just go to Bachelor
Speaker 2: nation dot com slash Golden Hour and submit away.
Speaker 1: And don't forget we want to hear from you everything,
Speaker 1: your questions, your updates, all of it. You can also
Speaker 1: DM us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. We do
Speaker 1: really want to hear from you.
Speaker 2: And Kathy, there you go, we'd get d ms then.
Speaker 1: I never thought about it that way. Soon I just.
Speaker 2: As Okay, okay, let's get into today's episode and we're
Speaker 2: going to start with the question of the day. Here
Speaker 2: we got all right, you ready? Cat? When was time
Speaker 2: you felt backstabbed by a loved one or a friend?
Speaker 2: And what did the relationship look like after? And how
Speaker 2: did you personally move on from it?
Speaker 1: Okay, only funny things come to our mind, I know,
Speaker 1: just just funny. Oh man, I don't have an answer
Speaker 1: for that one backstab by a loved one.
Speaker 2: I one came right, Tom. I know I've been taught
Speaker 2: to forgive, and I think it's been twenty years. I
Speaker 2: don't know if I forgave.
Speaker 1: Well, let me help you. I'll be the priestest today.
Speaker 1: Let me help you. What do you need forgiveness for?
Speaker 2: I have moved on from it, But as far as
Speaker 2: ever speaking to that person, she's not in my life.
Speaker 2: So it was ugly and.
Speaker 1: Yeah, are you going to tell me? You're not going
Speaker 1: to tell me.
Speaker 2: No, it just consider it something that.
Speaker 1: So the relationship is over.
Speaker 2: Oh it's been over. Yeah, it was really ugly. But
Speaker 2: I don't understand the difference between forgiving them and letting go.
Speaker 2: I've let go, like when you let people go to jail,
Speaker 2: like you know, or they killed somebody, and parents forgive
Speaker 2: the person like in a car accident or something.
Speaker 1: You know, what I'm saying, right, I think I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think for me, I can forgive people, but I
Speaker 1: often have trouble forgetting.
Speaker 2: Forgetting. Yes, well, I never forget.
Speaker 1: Right, So but I think I think when something happens
Speaker 1: to me that I need to forgive, I always go
Speaker 1: back and say to myself, who has the power here?
Speaker 1: If I don't forgive that person and move on, it's
Speaker 1: hurting me. It's not hurting that person.
Speaker 2: It takes up your energy the thought of it.
Speaker 1: Yes, so that's why I try to forget. If it's
Speaker 1: hard sometimes to forget, but you know, I really try
Speaker 1: going back.
Speaker 2: Reading this again, it says a loved one or a friend.
Speaker 2: It could have been a relationship like people out there.
Speaker 2: I'm sure the man cheated on you that that's hurtful.
Speaker 1: Right, I don't think that's back that's not well not
Speaker 1: to me.
Speaker 2: A secret is just telling telling me.
Speaker 1: If I said to you, Susan, I don't want you
Speaker 1: to tell anyone this, swear to me you won't, and
Speaker 1: that to me, that's backstabbing. If you call up Nancy
Speaker 1: or something you know, well, that's different. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: If you purposely do something to diminish me as a
Speaker 1: person that's backstabbing.
Speaker 2: Have you ever backstabbed anybody? I don't think.
Speaker 1: Oh, I just did you a couple of days ago.
Speaker 2: What she's lucky she's in Texas.
Speaker 1: That was too easy. You walked into the one I
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't knowingly backstab people. I think it sometimes.
Speaker 1: Oh I'd like to tell this person, but I really
Speaker 1: try not to do it, because you know, at the
Speaker 1: end of the day, it's not really kind. And you know,
Speaker 1: I want to be thought of as a kind person.
Speaker 1: I think I am a kind person.
Speaker 2: So you are a kind person. And how you move
Speaker 2: on from it? And for me, that means time because
Speaker 2: time heals.
Speaker 1: Well, no forgiveness heals forgiveness sales, Yeah, I don't. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you struggle with that, but I don't. I think once
Speaker 1: I made the decision to forgive, then I forgive them.
Speaker 2: Is that the same of letting it go? Let things go?
Speaker 1: I have let many things go with friends I have
Speaker 1: been if something's happened, the friendship may change, but I've
Speaker 1: let it go, meaning I'm not going to harbor it. Inviting, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's forgiving. I'm not going to harbor it and and
Speaker 1: say mean things. I'm going to let it go and
Speaker 1: live my life and be happy, because if I don't,
Speaker 1: I'm just giving away my power. I'm giving away my
Speaker 1: positivity to somebody or something else, and I'm just not
Speaker 1: doing that.
Speaker 2: And holding on to negative energy.
Speaker 1: So, Susan, when I backstab you again next week, I
Speaker 1: want you to remember I love you and my relationship
Speaker 1: with you is really important in our friendship. But you
Speaker 1: know I may backstab you next week.
Speaker 2: Just do the front step so I could see it coming.
Speaker 2: Please get me all right?
Speaker 1: So we are going to get into our fan questions today,
Speaker 1: which you and I always love doing. Please keep him coming, folks.
Speaker 1: I'm going to read the first one and let's see
Speaker 1: what we have here. Okay, hi, ladies, I need to
Speaker 1: vent lol. I've been with my boyfriend for about five months.
Speaker 1: I'm in college and he's been out of school for
Speaker 1: a few years. I always drive to see him because
Speaker 1: he doesn't have a car, which I was fine with
Speaker 1: for a while, but I finally got him to come
Speaker 1: visit me for once. I was so excited, but the
Speaker 1: second he met my friends, he started drinking to calm
Speaker 1: the nerves and completely embarrassed me. I had a whole
Speaker 1: day planned with my roommates, and he just made an
Speaker 1: ass out of himself, and in his drunken state, he
Speaker 1: told me that his X reached out to him and
Speaker 1: it stressed him out. He swore he left her on
Speaker 1: red and just wanted me to know. I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: thanks for telling me. But I noticed him acting weird
Speaker 1: after that, so I checked his phone. Turns out he
Speaker 1: was planning on facetiming her that night once he got
Speaker 1: a chance. Annoying. That is not how I would describe it,
Speaker 1: but okay anyway, Yeah, so my question is this, how
Speaker 1: do I break up with this man? Susan? Can we
Speaker 1: just stop the question for a second, ask I break up?
Speaker 1: Anytime I've mentioned a break he sobs and begs, to
Speaker 1: the point where I feel so uncomfortable and trapped. I
Speaker 1: don't even know how to put it into words. How
Speaker 1: do I get through his victim complex and break this
Speaker 1: off for good? I've been so done with this relationship
Speaker 1: and this was the final straw. Help me get the
Speaker 1: message across him. Please please, please, Thanks, ladies, Susan, Let's
Speaker 1: say it together.
Speaker 2: This is a no brainer.
Speaker 1: One two three dump him him now or yesterday?
Speaker 2: Let's go back. So why did he need to calm
Speaker 2: the nurse because he's meeting his girlfriend's friends, who stress
Speaker 2: is about that?
Speaker 1: Some people get nervous about me and other people. However,
Speaker 1: you and I can safely say this question has so
Speaker 1: many inherent problems. Number one, Well, getting drunk, you know,
Speaker 1: is it just brings all sorts of problems. Anyway, he's
Speaker 1: clearly a cheater, right, Well, he's gonna.
Speaker 2: Be planned to chat with her on FaceTime. So the
Speaker 2: drunk ass, stupid ass told her about this message. First problem.
Speaker 2: But what she's asking us is how do I get
Speaker 2: this message? You don't have to do anything? Block is this?
Speaker 2: It's over.
Speaker 1: It's over, big boy, Susan, I don't know who this is.
Speaker 1: We're gonna call you anonymous Susan and I are going
Speaker 1: to role play. Don't break up with.
Speaker 2: Me, sweetie. Listen to me. Listen to me, learn from this. Okay,
Speaker 2: this is not normal. You don't do these things and
Speaker 2: lie about it. I'm guilty for looking at your phone.
Speaker 2: And there's a reason I look because you're fucking guilty.
Speaker 2: Move on, forget me.
Speaker 1: That is what I know.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't say it like that.
Speaker 1: You know what I would see that was way too
Speaker 1: many words. And you who always say keep it short,
Speaker 1: less is more, lessons more, you know what I would say,
Speaker 1: Let's say the guy's name is Joe, Joe, I've been
Speaker 1: an idiot taking you back, not this time by don't
Speaker 1: let the door hit your ass on the way out,
Speaker 1: and it'd be gone. And I think, Anonymous, you might
Speaker 1: need to get a little bit of help here because
Speaker 1: you don't want to be with him, but you take
Speaker 1: him back. I think you may have some self esteem
Speaker 1: issues or something else going on here.
Speaker 2: And she says, help me get the message across.
Speaker 1: We're helping her.
Speaker 2: What helped you need? Their words? Tell him straight up?
Speaker 2: What part do you need help? You want to do it?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Really give us this number. We'll call him. You're done,
Speaker 1: you're out. And you know what, Anonymous, once you dump
Speaker 1: his ass, it's going to open your brain and your
Speaker 1: heart to better, healthier relationships if you do the work,
Speaker 1: if you figure out why you kept taking him back.
Speaker 1: I mean, when we get these questions, Susan, I'm always like,
Speaker 1: what is not being said or what's behind the words?
Speaker 2: Yes? And Kathy, you know me with the empathy thing
Speaker 2: like it takes me forever to break up with the
Speaker 2: guy so I can relate. However, everybody comes into your
Speaker 2: life for a reason, a season, you know the saying,
Speaker 2: and it's just time to accept You're not happy with
Speaker 2: this behavior. So you could say as kindly as you
Speaker 2: like or as mean as you like, but say it.
Speaker 1: But when she says she feels trapped, I'm like, she's
Speaker 1: I don't know there's a word for it, and I
Speaker 1: can't think of it right now, because she's trapping herself.
Speaker 1: Like he's not setting a trap. She's going for a
Speaker 1: SOB story. She's got some self esteem issues. Maybe she's
Speaker 1: afraid to be alone. I don't know.
Speaker 2: This whole question that you sent to us, and thank
Speaker 2: you for doing so, is not about him. It's about you, Yes,
Speaker 2: and that's what we want you to deal with. Look
Speaker 2: in the mirror, talk to yourself, get it out and
Speaker 2: say I'm better than this and I deserve better than this.
Speaker 1: That's right, And you know what, sometimes it's hard to
Speaker 1: say those things. If I were me, I would keep
Speaker 1: it short, anonymous and just say I'm done, and then
Speaker 1: I'd spend time. I are you agree, I'd well, I'd
Speaker 1: call I would get some help you know, a friend,
Speaker 1: a therapist, somebody say, he help me figure out why
Speaker 1: I kept jumping back into this, but I wouldn't waste
Speaker 1: a lot of words with him.
Speaker 2: And just a few weeks ago, I don't know, a
Speaker 2: month ago, I was having a yucky kind of day.
Speaker 2: And you're the one that said, did you look at
Speaker 2: the mirror this morning and say, I am right, I
Speaker 2: am worth it, I am lovable, I love That's right?
Speaker 2: You know, positive affirmation.
Speaker 1: Yes, I really believe that's true. And there's something in
Speaker 1: this girl's life where she does something she deserves it,
Speaker 1: or she's not living her positive best life something, So Anonymous,
Speaker 1: get after it. We are gonna send you positive vibes.
Speaker 1: Get it done, and then get some help to figure
Speaker 1: out why you kept this complete fool in your life.
Speaker 2: And even though he cries, yes, you feel bad for him,
Speaker 2: but you're helping him in the long run. You guys
Speaker 2: are in college, you have a whole life. Yet now's
Speaker 2: when you learn. Now is when you do this and
Speaker 2: you move on from it.
Speaker 1: Susan, she's been with this guy five months. The ink
Speaker 1: on the ink on the first love letters barely dry.
Speaker 2: And she drove all the time.
Speaker 1: So many red flags. Get rid of him. Let us know.
Speaker 1: We're sorry if we sound harsh. It's just that we're
Speaker 1: old as Methuselah and we know that this is not
Speaker 1: going to end up well for you. So get rid
Speaker 1: of him and find a new guy and get some
Speaker 1: help yourself, and then let us you.
Speaker 2: If you're looking for a release and saying do the
Speaker 2: right thing, you just got it. Okay, yeah, exactly, Thanks
Speaker 2: for doing it though, okay, Keath. Question number two, and
Speaker 2: this one is from Claire. Hi, ladies, I need some advice.
Speaker 2: I just found out that my ex husband is engaged.
Speaker 2: Our divorce finalized a month ago. What do I do?
Speaker 2: I'm honestly distraught. I don't want to be with him anymore.
Speaker 2: We split do to the typical falling out of love
Speaker 2: slash terrible to no sex life stuff. But this honestly
Speaker 2: really hurts to make matters worse. He's in gains to
Speaker 2: his secretary. Please just tell me some things I need
Speaker 2: to hear right now. Thank you so much. Okay is
Speaker 2: damn secretary? You ask?
Speaker 1: Oh, that's not fair, that's not fair.
Speaker 2: Sooner it's a month, obviously, you know where my head
Speaker 2: at is at. He's been seeing this secretary for quite
Speaker 2: some time.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, maybe he has, maybe has not, we don't know.
Speaker 1: Don't jump to conclusions. I mean, I'm right.
Speaker 2: There was it divorce six years?
Speaker 1: I don't know. But but here's the thing that you were.
Speaker 1: You took the thought right out of my mouth. We
Speaker 1: don't know how long they were separated. We don't know
Speaker 1: any of those things. And maybe cheated, maybe didn't. That's
Speaker 1: not the point. The question here is, Claire, you're asking
Speaker 1: what do I do? You don't do anything. You're out
Speaker 1: of his life.
Speaker 2: So he says, right here, I don't want to be
Speaker 2: with him.
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter if she wants to or not want.
Speaker 1: They are too Claire, what do I do? Start dating,
Speaker 1: go out with your girlfriends, take a trip, read a book,
Speaker 1: take flower arranging, bake a cake, but stop thinking about
Speaker 1: him because it's over and or two he's moved on.
Speaker 1: I really don't. I'm sorry, I mean, I don't. I
Speaker 1: don't mean to sound harsh. I'm sure that it would
Speaker 1: be hard to hear. And I'm sure you're thinking like
Speaker 1: Susan did.
Speaker 2: Yes, he's already just we just got to a divorce
Speaker 2: a minute ago. And so you're probably, but it should
Speaker 2: only stink for a second because remember, you didn't want
Speaker 2: to be married to him, right, so sucked.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, go find some better sex, Claire,
Speaker 1: you know, go find go find a good time guy
Speaker 1: for a night. It'll clear your head.
Speaker 2: And I get the typical falling out of love. That
Speaker 2: that's what happens. I mean, it's not easy. I think
Speaker 2: marriage it's not just being and love, it's being a
Speaker 2: partner with somebody. So you weren't partners obviously, so the
Speaker 2: love part goes away. I know because I lived through it,
Speaker 2: and the sex ed this is a no brainer. I
Speaker 2: think it's stung because number one, it was a secretary.
Speaker 2: At number two, it came immediately after the divorce.
Speaker 1: Well, I would get that, I would say number three,
Speaker 1: I think what Claire isn't saying. I'm reading a little
Speaker 1: bit between the lines here. She probably surmising, like you did, Susan,
Speaker 1: that he went that secretary before, and that's probably what stings,
Speaker 1: and she just doesn't want to put it down. So Claire,
Speaker 1: if that's the case, it's sucks too. Exactly if you
Speaker 1: didn't know, If you still don't know, and.
Speaker 2: Kathy don't some divorces take a few years, so they
Speaker 2: could have been living their own lives for a couple
Speaker 2: of years. But because the papers came in and he's engaged,
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. So it could be a
Speaker 2: lot of things, but you want to hear us. We're
Speaker 2: telling you it's okay.
Speaker 1: It's okay to feel badly, but again, it's about living
Speaker 1: positive life. Don't spend your days feeling hurt. Go spend
Speaker 1: your days doing something positive for yourself that way, you know, Yeah,
Speaker 1: go do something for you and the hurt. Oh, now
Speaker 1: we're getting done to it. How much mon? Did you
Speaker 1: get clear? Come join us for a vacation. We'll make
Speaker 1: you laugh. But thank you, and I'm really sorry. Yeah,
Speaker 1: good luck and sorry that you feel that way. Okay.
Speaker 1: The next question is from Nina. She writes, Hi, Kathy
Speaker 1: and Susan, I feel like I'm about to lose my mind.
Speaker 1: I just found out that my best friend of ten
Speaker 1: years has been talking shit about me behind my back
Speaker 1: for our entire friendship. I found out because she sent
Speaker 1: a message about me to me by accident. Then when
Speaker 1: I blocked her from viewing my story, that's literally all
Speaker 1: I did. Lol. She went on a rampage and started
Speaker 1: making up crazy lies about me to all of our friends.
Speaker 1: Turns out this isn't the first time she's done that.
Speaker 1: The biggest lie I was telling every one that I
Speaker 1: was in rehab when really I was in the hospital
Speaker 1: dealing with some severe medical issues. My question is this,
Speaker 1: How do I heal from this? I feel like I
Speaker 1: can't trust anyone, and I'm spiraling. I'm away at college.
Speaker 1: She's still in her hometown, so I feel so disconnected
Speaker 1: from all of my friends there. I don't even know
Speaker 1: if they are my friends. Any advice would be great.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, that's sad, you know what. I know she's hurting,
Speaker 2: but that girl karma's a bit. I feel sorry for
Speaker 2: her for what life is going to be given her.
Speaker 2: You don't do things like that. You don't spread lies.
Speaker 2: It's bad enough if you're going to spread secrets the
Speaker 2: backstabbing part, but to make up bold face lives. Did
Speaker 2: I tell you that story? Because I think I did
Speaker 2: on another podcast when I used to pray that I
Speaker 2: would develop boobs.
Speaker 3: You know, yes you did at the Splash party and
Speaker 3: that that thing went out Piccolo stoves and I came
Speaker 3: out and bar it all, but she's not home to
Speaker 3: defend herself.
Speaker 2: So do you think she should put out something on
Speaker 2: social media to embarrass this woman or this girl or.
Speaker 1: Not at all. Here's what I think.
Speaker 2: Simply move on, Nina.
Speaker 1: You're young, you're in college. I get it. It stings.
Speaker 1: You've obviously known this girl. I'm guessing it's a girl,
Speaker 1: could be a guy. But you've known this person for
Speaker 1: ten years, so probably since your teenage years, and to
Speaker 1: find this out now is brutal. I would say to you, don't.
Speaker 1: I would not do what Susan said. I would not
Speaker 1: put anything out on social media. I would not put
Speaker 1: any negativity out there because negative breeds negative. So if
Speaker 1: I were you, I would let it go. When you
Speaker 1: get home from college and Thanksgiving, Christmas, spring break, summer,
Speaker 1: whenever it is the next time you see her, I
Speaker 1: would have a sit down with just her and I
Speaker 1: would say here's how I feel, this is what you know,
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. Go through all of it with her
Speaker 1: and say you really hurt my feelings and I can't
Speaker 1: believe this happened. Do you want to be my friend,
Speaker 1: because if you do, you can't do this again. And
Speaker 1: let me tell you. Wait, I had an experience like
Speaker 1: this with a very good friend. And I've never told
Speaker 1: this straight before. I just just in talking about her,
Speaker 1: it just came back to my mind. I had a
Speaker 1: very good friend who when she would get worried about me,
Speaker 1: she would call my kids, and of course, you know,
Speaker 1: my husband's gone, my kids were my kids are worried
Speaker 1: about me, right if something happens. And so last time
Speaker 1: she did this and my kids panicked because they couldn't
Speaker 1: reach me. I was out playing golf and having dinner
Speaker 1: and I turned my phone on. Well, they thought I
Speaker 1: was dead by the side of the road. Anyway, when
Speaker 1: I called them back, they my children had called them
Speaker 1: like ten times. I found out she had called all
Speaker 1: of my children and said, I can't reach Kathy out
Speaker 1: of nowhere, and she knew where I was by the way.
Speaker 1: She I don't know why she did it, but I
Speaker 1: called her and I said, I can tell you it
Speaker 1: was a guy I was on a date with and
Speaker 1: she didn't like the guy, so I don't know. So
Speaker 1: I called her and I said, listen, you cannot ever
Speaker 1: call my children again.
Speaker 2: You cannot do that.
Speaker 1: I said, if I'm dead by the side of the road.
Speaker 1: My children will find out if I'm in the hospital,
Speaker 1: they will contact my children. If you want to be
Speaker 1: my friend, you can never do this again, can you
Speaker 1: promise that? And she said no, I can't. I said,
Speaker 1: our friendship just ended. And okay, I'm just saying it's
Speaker 1: short and sweet.
Speaker 2: Where my mind's going. When she received the message about
Speaker 2: her accidentally from this gossipy girl, she says she blocked her.
Speaker 2: You wouldn't confront right then and there make the phone
Speaker 2: call like whoa, I'm sure you didn't mean to send
Speaker 2: that message to me, And why on earth would you
Speaker 2: be saying.
Speaker 1: Because she's in college.
Speaker 2: If I send you a message and I meant to
Speaker 2: send it to Nancy, okay, and it was trashing you,
Speaker 2: You're only going to block me. You're not going to
Speaker 2: call me it and Susan.
Speaker 1: Susan, I have it. I have a news flash. And
Speaker 1: I hope everyone's listening very carefully. Neither you nor I,
Speaker 1: come to think of it, Nancy either we're not in college.
Speaker 1: We've lived a lot of life. I'm saying I could
Speaker 1: see it where where Nina might be so hurt that
Speaker 1: oh I just want I just want to block this.
Speaker 1: I just want to you know, I want to forget it,
Speaker 1: but clearly that doesn't work, which is why I suggested
Speaker 1: sit down with her.
Speaker 2: Mind gotthy can remember when I tried to hold it
Speaker 2: in when something happened between people we know and I
Speaker 2: did good for like a week, and they were all
Speaker 2: on a zoom call together, and.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let me just say, Susan gives great advice. She
Speaker 1: doesn't know what's take her, she doesn't know what's follow through.
Speaker 1: I remember this phone call. I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: can we just say bats Nation needs to hear this.
Speaker 1: They think Susan is miss sweetness, princess sweet I am, oh, really,
Speaker 1: you don't have sign of you. That was wrong button exactly.
Speaker 2: I remember they.
Speaker 1: And I have the reputation of being I have a
Speaker 1: bat at all times, and I'm exactly the opposite. So
Speaker 1: bachsor Nation figure it out. And anyway, Nina, delivery, It's
Speaker 1: a delivery, I know, Nina. Here's what I'm recommending that
Speaker 1: I think Susan would agree, sit down with her when
Speaker 1: you get home from school. If you can't resurrect, or
Speaker 1: remediate or repair, I don't know where all those are.
Speaker 1: Words just came from the friendship. Then it might be over.
Speaker 2: I agreed to appoint Kathy. I wouldn't give her an
Speaker 2: opportunity to be my friend again. The damage is done,
Speaker 2: and I personally, as I sit here while you were
Speaker 2: talking and I'm listening to you, would probably put something
Speaker 2: out about why I was in the hospital, not saying
Speaker 2: she said or did anything this friend, and thank you
Speaker 2: for all your well wishes. I had a severe whatever
Speaker 2: the problem was, so that the world knew she was there,
Speaker 2: and then the people I think she was in rehab
Speaker 2: they might question that friend.
Speaker 1: They might or they might say, oh god, it's true
Speaker 1: and she's putting up this fake story about being the mostrue.
Speaker 1: That's why I don't say anything. I don't justify stupid,
Speaker 1: mean rumors with the response. I just don't. People are
Speaker 1: gonna believe what they want to believe. Her friend, What
Speaker 1: do I always say to you? What do I always
Speaker 1: say to you when we talk about the mean people
Speaker 1: saying stuff about you.
Speaker 2: And me online? Wearing a bikinias get your negative thoughts
Speaker 2: thrown at right?
Speaker 1: Who cares what they say? I care what you think
Speaker 1: of me because you're my friend. But if people who
Speaker 1: don't know me on the internet, who cares, so Nina,
Speaker 1: good luck. Let us know if you in fact do
Speaker 1: repair the friendship.
Speaker 2: Well, can I say one more thing. When you get
Speaker 2: home and you talk to those other people, not the person,
Speaker 2: but the other people, you could bring it up and
Speaker 2: say I was so hurt by that. I can't believe
Speaker 2: that she told people, and maybe they get some feedback
Speaker 2: or like, I think we never thought that.
Speaker 1: I think you're pitying. That's I think it's keep it
Speaker 1: and it's pity. It's like triangulation. You're bringing other people.
Speaker 1: I just say lessons more. I don't. I'm not gonna.
Speaker 2: I wish I would be more like you and just
Speaker 2: shut it down.
Speaker 1: I wish I wish I could be more like you
Speaker 1: and had hair like yours that could try in thirty
Speaker 1: seconds with the hair dryer. That's what I wish. Moving on,
Speaker 1: all right, are you ready? We're going to play a game.
Speaker 1: It's time for games. And you know it's as close
Speaker 1: to moral quandary as we can get. No, but no, listen,
Speaker 1: we're going to answer all your dreams. Your dream is
Speaker 1: about to come through, Susan. You know why. We're going
Speaker 1: to talk about what we would do. You do not
Speaker 1: have to guess what I would do.
Speaker 2: This is a perfect It's.
Speaker 1: The Susan Show. You're going to say what you would do,
Speaker 1: and I'm going to say what I would do. So
Speaker 1: here goes first one dreams.
Speaker 2: Guess that's what I said.
Speaker 1: It's Susan's dream day, all right? What would you do
Speaker 1: if your first date brings up their ex multiple times
Speaker 1: and even compares you to them. Do you call it
Speaker 1: out or let it slide?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 1: I wish off could happened.
Speaker 2: That's happened. That has happened, and honestly it at that time,
Speaker 2: it was whether I was wanting to get to know
Speaker 2: this guy or not, Like I know, within three minutes
Speaker 2: going on a first date, whether I'm going to see
Speaker 2: you again or not. But multiple times, like sometimes people
Speaker 2: do bring it up and to compare me to somebody.
Speaker 2: So it happened one time and he was a widow.
Speaker 2: I felt so bad for him, Kathy by the fourth
Speaker 2: time and I looked at him in my face, my
Speaker 2: eyes tell all like really, and he goes, I'm so
Speaker 2: sorry for doing this, but can I just show you?
Speaker 2: I said, of course, I'm about to throw up in
Speaker 2: my mouth, Kathy, I have and it was scary like
Speaker 2: she was a hairdresser. She looked, we looked just alike.
Speaker 2: Just I mean, maybe our features were a little the
Speaker 2: hair that, the body, the height, the And he said
Speaker 2: to me.
Speaker 1: Wait, he is a widower. Yes, she wanted to marry
Speaker 1: the ghost of Christmas past.
Speaker 2: He said. And I liked the guy a lot. I
Speaker 2: really did. And he said to me, I don't think
Speaker 2: I could see you. It's too much. Oh, I know,
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 1: I mean it's really good for him though, you know,
Speaker 1: good for him for knowing.
Speaker 2: And like I said, I would have seen him again.
Speaker 1: He was a nice I think I this this an
Speaker 1: ex a widower that's not an X that's a death right.
Speaker 1: So this is different if your your first date for
Speaker 1: me brings up their ex So you know, for me,
Speaker 1: I'm out. I'm not a first state. You know, down
Speaker 1: the road. Maybe if he was talking to me about
Speaker 1: and that's another conversation, by the way, that we can
Speaker 1: have someday, whether or not you know, how much do
Speaker 1: you want to know about your current boyfriend.
Speaker 2: Exes fashion them like they're saying.
Speaker 1: Oh, that's a big flag. I'm saying, I don't. Someday
Speaker 1: we're going to have this conversation about whether how much
Speaker 1: do you want to know about your current boyfriend, of
Speaker 1: which I don't have one, but how much you want
Speaker 1: to know about their exes? Right? I want to know
Speaker 1: some know a.
Speaker 2: Little bit of where you're coming from, but rightly details.
Speaker 2: Everybody's got a past.
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, So anyway I would, I would call it
Speaker 1: out and I would let him slide right out the door.
Speaker 2: Your date gets a little too drunk and starts making
Speaker 2: a scene. Do you stick it out in the night early?
Speaker 1: Okay? God, I can tell you my mine's a real
Speaker 1: quick answer. I'm out the door. I do not like
Speaker 1: a start. That's right, I'm out, goodbye, I see you.
Speaker 1: I'm at at Susan's house.
Speaker 2: Who's ever closed? Okay?
Speaker 1: You realize you have zero chemistry, but they seem really
Speaker 1: into you. Do you give them another date or call
Speaker 1: it quits early? What do you do, Susan?
Speaker 2: I stick it out for that date, and I'm usually
Speaker 2: a little I don't want to call myself a puss,
Speaker 2: but I'll text them that I didn't feel what I
Speaker 2: needed to feel, but I'm not going to go out
Speaker 2: on another date with them. Right.
Speaker 1: I also would stick out the date and then if
Speaker 1: they called me for another date. I would say, I
Speaker 1: have a horrible case of cholera. I mean, I want
Speaker 1: to make sure. I want to make sure, I'll I
Speaker 1: want to make sure they don't want to be around me. God,
Speaker 1: it's extremely and it's contagious.
Speaker 2: Can you see the guy now asking a friends do
Speaker 2: you know what color is? Okay? You see your friend's
Speaker 2: partner out with someone else looking a little too cozy?
Speaker 2: Do you tell your friend or do you stay out
Speaker 2: of it?
Speaker 1: You've had this conversation, You've had this conversation, So.
Speaker 2: The word friend is the hard part. Like I, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm not kissing and telling them, but I've seen people
Speaker 2: with their wives. Weren't my friend?
Speaker 1: Wait a second, I knew the if it is you,
Speaker 1: oh no, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 2: If it's you mean Nancy, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm oh no, I am saying it.
Speaker 2: Yes, if I see friend.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but if I just see uh, you know, a friend,
Speaker 1: I don't know. It could be a business meaning that's
Speaker 1: where you get yourself into trouble, you know. It could
Speaker 1: be their cousin. It could be you know, serious, it
Speaker 1: could be failing cousin. It could be someone in from
Speaker 1: out of town. I never mess with that stuff.
Speaker 2: I don't know that I would do an immediate.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't either. I think I would keep my
Speaker 1: mouth on your own business. Yeah, but again it depends
Speaker 1: on how good a friend it is and how posy.
Speaker 1: I mean, if they're sitting making out, it's probably not
Speaker 1: a business meeting.
Speaker 2: Okay, your tongue was down her throat. I probably would
Speaker 2: address him before i'd address her. I'm going to give
Speaker 2: him an out here. Point in my eyes to his eyes.
Speaker 2: I see you, I'm watching you.
Speaker 1: Okay, what vachor nation? She would do it too, be
Speaker 1: scared of suits, and she means what she says. All Right,
Speaker 1: you agree to go to a party, but when you
Speaker 1: get there, you realize you don't know a single person.
Speaker 1: What's your move?
Speaker 2: Oh that's easy, Yeah, that's very easy.
Speaker 1: Hey, exactly, I'm counting. Who's on old? Come on? Stop?
Speaker 2: Yeah? No, I don't know how long i'd stay. Depends
Speaker 2: on the feedback from the crowd, I guess. But when
Speaker 2: you do not know a.
Speaker 1: Person, if you're invited to them, maybe maybe the person
Speaker 1: you got sick or someone who knows. But I will
Speaker 1: say you and I've talked about this as well. You
Speaker 1: and I can both walk into a room not know
Speaker 1: anybody and make friends and talk. And it's actually a gift,
Speaker 1: and I'm grateful that it is. I have that gift
Speaker 1: and you are too.
Speaker 2: It's and it's the smile that's warming and welcoming. People
Speaker 2: want to know when you smile.
Speaker 1: Just walking with a smile. Hey, and you know what,
Speaker 1: get people to talk about them for a little bit.
Speaker 1: You got a new friend, it's great, all right, go ahead,
Speaker 1: all right.
Speaker 2: Your friend borrowed something valuable from you and accidentally broken.
Speaker 2: But has it mentioned it yet? Do you bring it
Speaker 2: up or wait for them to So I'm taking it
Speaker 2: that they've already given it back to you and you
Speaker 2: realize it's broken. I say to me that, yo, what happens?
Speaker 1: You owe me? And she means it. Folks, I'm going
Speaker 1: to be honestly, if something valuable, I'm very careful about
Speaker 1: lending lens.
Speaker 2: Yes, I do borrow.
Speaker 1: So yeah, well you said that, but I happen to
Speaker 1: know for a fact you do.
Speaker 2: What did I borrow?
Speaker 1: There might be when you took your last trip to
Speaker 1: Saint Martin because you needed some additional beach cover ups.
Speaker 1: When you went to Saint Martin.
Speaker 2: Oh no, that was forced. You're talking about your friend,
Speaker 2: and let me tell you that she have some gorgeous things.
Speaker 1: We love our friend on this that we say we
Speaker 1: love our friend. Don if you're listening, we love you,
Speaker 1: all right, I I just don't lend something that valuable.
Speaker 2: All right, Well if you did, Pat, I want to know,
Speaker 2: would you say, hey, I just noticed that it's broken or.
Speaker 1: Its I probably I probably would bring it up, yeah,
Speaker 1: I probably nicely, kindly?
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, okay, all right we agreed again.
Speaker 1: Guys, yep, we're agreeing. That's a new friend. A new
Speaker 1: friend always forgets their wallet when you got to How
Speaker 1: do you handle it? Oh, we've had this conversation.
Speaker 2: Before they get there, I remind them she does.
Speaker 1: I swear I've heard her do it. I've paid the
Speaker 1: last two times. Don't forget your wallet?
Speaker 2: That's yes, yes, I mean because then you're not going
Speaker 2: to be friends with them anymore. If they consistently, you're
Speaker 2: going to shy away.
Speaker 1: I have to tell you I have a friend. This
Speaker 1: is how people get to know about it. These things
Speaker 1: make us tell stories. I have a friend here, Beth,
Speaker 1: who has a couple of friends who do not reciprocate.
Speaker 1: And Beth is always inviting people over for dinner and
Speaker 1: for drinks and for lunch and no, and she always no.
Speaker 1: I always she always has me over for dinner. I
Speaker 1: always bring.
Speaker 2: About every mind.
Speaker 1: And when we go out for brunch, I always stick
Speaker 1: my credit card down and say and put hers on
Speaker 1: mine because she always has me for dinner always. And
Speaker 1: as people know, I don't really cook very much, so
Speaker 1: I'm but other people don't. They let they let her
Speaker 1: pick up the tab, and I'm like, I talk, I
Speaker 1: keep saying that's don't be so quick with the credit card.
Speaker 1: Sit back, and you know.
Speaker 2: He told me that, Yeah, I'm in somebody's company, Like,
Speaker 2: oh no, I'm staying there, you know, let me.
Speaker 1: Ye, yeah, you gotta, you gotta. You know it is
Speaker 1: can be uncomfortable, but you know what, you don't want
Speaker 1: to breed resentment.
Speaker 2: So it's so good point.
Speaker 1: So let's let your credit card stay in your pocket
Speaker 1: a little bit longer.
Speaker 2: Next one, is you accidentally like an old Instagram post
Speaker 2: of someone you have a crush on it? What do
Speaker 2: you do?
Speaker 1: Absolutely nothing?
Speaker 2: Nothing like it? You have a crush on them. Hello,
Speaker 2: I hope you noticed or see or whoever.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's oh my gosh, we're green way too much.
Speaker 2: It's going to be a good day, cat, all right,
Speaker 2: all right.
Speaker 1: You and your partner planned a big night out, but
Speaker 1: they cancel last minute for something that doesn't seem important. Oh, Susan,
Speaker 1: what would you do?
Speaker 2: Doesn't seem important to me? Or was?
Speaker 1: Obviously it doesn't important to you, but they can't.
Speaker 2: I would definitely be disappointed. I mean, obviously you have
Speaker 2: to accept the fact that they canceled.
Speaker 1: You're not going to say anything. Who are you trying
Speaker 1: to kill?
Speaker 2: Why? And when you tell me that's why, I'm going
Speaker 2: to say, really, I'm not. That depends on what the
Speaker 2: reason was, you know, if it under way, the disappointment will.
Speaker 1: Be exactly I think I would do exactly the same thing,
Speaker 1: and I would let them know. You know what, It
Speaker 1: comes back to communicating. If I said, pay no problem,
Speaker 1: I'm likely to say, hey, John, whoever it is, I
Speaker 1: was really looking forward to seeing you, you know, but
Speaker 1: that's okay, Maybe we can do it another night. It's
Speaker 1: better to be, you know, it's it's better. It is better.
Speaker 2: It is better to be.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, go your significant other makes a joke about
Speaker 1: something you're insecure about. Do you address it or brush
Speaker 1: it off?
Speaker 2: Address it?
Speaker 1: Yeah, immediately, Yeah.
Speaker 2: And I know we're taught to wait till you get home.
Speaker 2: Like we've read one of these questions a few weeks back,
Speaker 2: a few episodes back, and they the husband and wife
Speaker 2: were the couple. I don't know if they were married,
Speaker 2: and they agreed if anything like this should happen, you
Speaker 2: never say you just go about the party or whatever
Speaker 2: you're at and wait till you get home. That would
Speaker 2: stew in me, can be like a fire being ignited.
Speaker 2: I would look like a dragon by the time we go.
Speaker 1: And she would. Folks, but they're not saying that this
Speaker 1: that the significant other is doing in front of other people.
Speaker 1: They're saying, you know, it's like it's like this, it's
Speaker 1: like I'm dating or you know Joe, and Joe makes
Speaker 1: a joke about me interrupting Hi. You know you're just
Speaker 1: you're choking.
Speaker 2: You're not insecure about well.
Speaker 1: Actually I am. I'm trying to be better about you
Speaker 1: know about or you know, Kathy, uh.
Speaker 2: Something you're insecure, man.
Speaker 1: I am insecure about that, or or joking like, oh,
Speaker 1: you were the only girl at the pool with a
Speaker 1: one piece on that was a lot of fabric that
Speaker 1: would that I'm insecure about that, because it would be well,
Speaker 1: here's where I's gonna say to you. People say things
Speaker 1: and they and they they cushion it by saying, oh,
Speaker 1: it's just a joke. It's not a joke. It is
Speaker 1: not a joke. So if my significant other makes a
Speaker 1: quote unquote joke about something I'm insecure about, you know
Speaker 1: what that is. It's cruel. And they know what they're
Speaker 1: doing and they're not making a joke. They're either making
Speaker 1: fun of me or trying to make a point, and
Speaker 1: it's not nice.
Speaker 2: It's not nice.
Speaker 1: Nice.
Speaker 2: So, all right, you're casually dating someone and they tell
Speaker 2: you they don't believe in tipping at restaurants. Is this
Speaker 2: a deal?
Speaker 1: Can we answer in unison? Yes, let me tell you
Speaker 1: something I think when you talk about like red flags
Speaker 1: when I'm on a date. If they are never mind tipping,
Speaker 1: they are not kind to the server, bending over backwards.
Speaker 1: Two of my three children were servers and restaurants, so
Speaker 1: I always tip close, you know, way over twenty percent
Speaker 1: because they work their tails off and I'm always.
Speaker 2: They're not good. Yes, they're giving me no service. They'll
Speaker 2: give the minimal, but they get it tip.
Speaker 1: And I tell you why. You need to tip them
Speaker 1: the right amount. This is my PSA. No, you need
Speaker 1: to tip the customary total amount. Here's the deal.
Speaker 2: No, you keep a certain percentage twenty percent of them.
Speaker 1: Okay, And you're saying, if they're rude, you give them
Speaker 1: less than twenty.
Speaker 2: Now, I always tip the minimum, the basic. Oh so
Speaker 2: you're saying, somebody treats me well and I noticed because
Speaker 2: I was a server as well once fun a time.
Speaker 2: Then they get not double, but way more.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you questioned it because you appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Okay, So here's a question that was on here. But
Speaker 1: you know, not not all tips are. If it's cash,
Speaker 1: they don't have to claim them. All you tip in
Speaker 1: cash or credit.
Speaker 2: I tried to yes, in kat, chip and cash.
Speaker 1: So what I'll try You know what I tried to
Speaker 1: do because they split the tips with the with the bartender.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah right, So if I so, I'll usually
Speaker 1: put it on the check because I wanted to get
Speaker 1: split with everyone that helped prepare my meal. But you
Speaker 1: know what I'll do sometimes when I walk out, I'll
Speaker 1: take like a ten dollars bill out of my wall.
Speaker 1: Depends on the price of the and just say shake
Speaker 1: their hand and say thank you so much. It was
Speaker 1: a delight having you serve and hand them, and that
Speaker 1: money is meant to go to them, and they know it.
Speaker 2: And you know, when we all go out, when all
Speaker 2: the girls are together, we all throw cards down and
Speaker 2: we add the tip to the car and.
Speaker 1: We always over we as a group always leave a
Speaker 1: big tip, because that's the kind thing to do, round
Speaker 1: fine thing to do. All Right, you're on a date
Speaker 1: and your date says something you completely disagree with, but
Speaker 1: you still like them. Do you challenge them or change
Speaker 1: the subject? Oh? Come on, guess well this last wait,
Speaker 1: let's just guess what the other one would do.
Speaker 2: Susan do.
Speaker 1: What would Susan do? I would say the same thing,
Speaker 1: Kathy's gonna do.
Speaker 2: We challenge, we challenge. Yes, I would have won the moral.
Speaker 1: Susan. Susan, I'm going to tell the producers we want
Speaker 1: to go back to moral quandary.
Speaker 2: Because no, no, no, don't get excited. Do not get excited.
Speaker 2: But I think we did well. This game worked for us.
Speaker 1: This game works so well for us. I just want
Speaker 1: to know. I just wonder before we wrap it up,
Speaker 1: and we only have a couple of minutes here, Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: So one of the most I just want to say
Speaker 1: one of the things I love. I haven't had a
Speaker 1: chance to say this yet. One of the things I
Speaker 1: love about Bachelor Nation is when we have people on
Speaker 1: the podcast, we get to know them and we get
Speaker 1: new friends. And can I just tell you Ali, Joe
Speaker 1: and Julianna, Like, I have Juliana's phone number now, She's like,
Speaker 1: we're the Newton girls. They're so nice. I feel like
Speaker 1: I've made new friends.
Speaker 2: I know, I've just in the past guys that we
Speaker 2: had I think we knew them from the show, but
Speaker 2: getting to talk to them and digging in and.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just I just want everyone to know that
Speaker 1: we're the friendships were blessed, and the friendships that we
Speaker 1: make through Bachelor are really friends. It crosses age lines though.
Speaker 1: I just feel so grateful to be making all these friends.
Speaker 1: All right. So that's that's the PSA. This was so
Speaker 1: much fun.
Speaker 2: And thank you, sir God, Yes people, we.
Speaker 1: Love you all. Thank you all to our listeners, uh
Speaker 1: for joining in and listening to us today, because without
Speaker 1: you and your questions and your comments, we'd have nothing.
Speaker 2: And make sure you follow us on Bachelor Happy Hour
Speaker 2: because you know us, we have a new one coming
Speaker 2: at every week and you don't want to miss. I mean, really,
Speaker 2: for Kathy and I to agree on just about everything today,
Speaker 2: that's a win.
Speaker 1: That is a win. Although maybe they want to hear
Speaker 1: us argue Susan, here's the thing we do. We don't agree.
Speaker 1: We could really dial it up, but in the meantime,
Speaker 1: please submit your questions, your comments, all of it. Go
Speaker 1: bachelornation dot com, slash Golden Hour, or d m us
Speaker 1: on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.
Speaker 2: And listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the
Speaker 2: iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your podcast. We'll
Speaker 2: see you next time.
Speaker 1: Take care,