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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. Thanks for

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Speaker 1: joining us today. As always, we are so excited to

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Speaker 1: be here. How are you doing today, Susan.

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Speaker 2: I'm getting there, trying to heal, and I'm so glad

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Speaker 2: to be back here today answering all of the fan

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Speaker 2: questions that we get. Don't you enjoy those, guys?

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Speaker 1: I love it. I love hearing the updates. I love

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Speaker 1: hearing I know what people are up to. I love

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Speaker 1: it when we get compliments.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's always a good thing. And so everybody, make

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Speaker 2: sure you keep submitting those because we enjoy and love

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Speaker 2: reading them, giving you advice, hearing your feedback, and you

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Speaker 2: know how to do it right. Just go to Bachelor

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Speaker 2: nation dot com slash Golden Hour and submit away.

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Speaker 1: And don't forget we want to hear from you everything,

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Speaker 1: your questions, your updates, all of it. You can also

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Speaker 1: DM us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. We do

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Speaker 1: really want to hear from you.

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Speaker 2: And Kathy, there you go, we'd get d ms then.

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Speaker 1: I never thought about it that way. Soon I just.

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Speaker 2: As Okay, okay, let's get into today's episode and we're

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Speaker 2: going to start with the question of the day. Here

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Speaker 2: we got all right, you ready? Cat? When was time

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Speaker 2: you felt backstabbed by a loved one or a friend?

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Speaker 2: And what did the relationship look like after? And how

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Speaker 2: did you personally move on from it?

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Speaker 1: Okay, only funny things come to our mind, I know,

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Speaker 1: just just funny. Oh man, I don't have an answer

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Speaker 1: for that one backstab by a loved one.

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Speaker 2: I one came right, Tom. I know I've been taught

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Speaker 2: to forgive, and I think it's been twenty years. I

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Speaker 2: don't know if I forgave.

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Speaker 1: Well, let me help you. I'll be the priestest today.

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Speaker 1: Let me help you. What do you need forgiveness for?

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Speaker 2: I have moved on from it, But as far as

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Speaker 2: ever speaking to that person, she's not in my life.

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Speaker 2: So it was ugly and.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, are you going to tell me? You're not going

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Speaker 1: to tell me.

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Speaker 2: No, it just consider it something that.

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Speaker 1: So the relationship is over.

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Speaker 2: Oh it's been over. Yeah, it was really ugly. But

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Speaker 2: I don't understand the difference between forgiving them and letting go.

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Speaker 2: I've let go, like when you let people go to jail,

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Speaker 2: like you know, or they killed somebody, and parents forgive

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Speaker 2: the person like in a car accident or something.

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Speaker 1: You know, what I'm saying, right, I think I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I think for me, I can forgive people, but I

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Speaker 1: often have trouble forgetting.

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Speaker 2: Forgetting. Yes, well, I never forget.

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Speaker 1: Right, So but I think I think when something happens

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Speaker 1: to me that I need to forgive, I always go

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Speaker 1: back and say to myself, who has the power here?

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Speaker 1: If I don't forgive that person and move on, it's

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Speaker 1: hurting me. It's not hurting that person.

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Speaker 2: It takes up your energy the thought of it.

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Speaker 1: Yes, so that's why I try to forget. If it's

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Speaker 1: hard sometimes to forget, but you know, I really try

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Speaker 1: going back.

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Speaker 2: Reading this again, it says a loved one or a friend.

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Speaker 2: It could have been a relationship like people out there.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure the man cheated on you that that's hurtful.

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Speaker 1: Right, I don't think that's back that's not well not

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Speaker 1: to me.

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Speaker 2: A secret is just telling telling me.

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Speaker 1: If I said to you, Susan, I don't want you

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Speaker 1: to tell anyone this, swear to me you won't, and

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Speaker 1: that to me, that's backstabbing. If you call up Nancy

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Speaker 1: or something you know, well, that's different. That's what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: If you purposely do something to diminish me as a

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Speaker 1: person that's backstabbing.

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Speaker 2: Have you ever backstabbed anybody? I don't think.

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Speaker 1: Oh, I just did you a couple of days ago.

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Speaker 2: What she's lucky she's in Texas.

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Speaker 1: That was too easy. You walked into the one I

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Speaker 1: I don't. I don't knowingly backstab people. I think it sometimes.

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Speaker 1: Oh I'd like to tell this person, but I really

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Speaker 1: try not to do it, because you know, at the

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Speaker 1: end of the day, it's not really kind. And you know,

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Speaker 1: I want to be thought of as a kind person.

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Speaker 1: I think I am a kind person.

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Speaker 2: So you are a kind person. And how you move

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Speaker 2: on from it? And for me, that means time because

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Speaker 2: time heals.

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Speaker 1: Well, no forgiveness heals forgiveness sales, Yeah, I don't. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you struggle with that, but I don't. I think once

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Speaker 1: I made the decision to forgive, then I forgive them.

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Speaker 2: Is that the same of letting it go? Let things go?

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Speaker 1: I have let many things go with friends I have

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Speaker 1: been if something's happened, the friendship may change, but I've

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Speaker 1: let it go, meaning I'm not going to harbor it. Inviting, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's forgiving. I'm not going to harbor it and and

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Speaker 1: say mean things. I'm going to let it go and

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Speaker 1: live my life and be happy, because if I don't,

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Speaker 1: I'm just giving away my power. I'm giving away my

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Speaker 1: positivity to somebody or something else, and I'm just not

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Speaker 1: doing that.

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Speaker 2: And holding on to negative energy.

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Speaker 1: So, Susan, when I backstab you again next week, I

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Speaker 1: want you to remember I love you and my relationship

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Speaker 1: with you is really important in our friendship. But you

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Speaker 1: know I may backstab you next week.

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Speaker 2: Just do the front step so I could see it coming.

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Speaker 2: Please get me all right?

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Speaker 1: So we are going to get into our fan questions today,

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Speaker 1: which you and I always love doing. Please keep him coming, folks.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to read the first one and let's see

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Speaker 1: what we have here. Okay, hi, ladies, I need to

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Speaker 1: vent lol. I've been with my boyfriend for about five months.

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Speaker 1: I'm in college and he's been out of school for

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Speaker 1: a few years. I always drive to see him because

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Speaker 1: he doesn't have a car, which I was fine with

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Speaker 1: for a while, but I finally got him to come

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Speaker 1: visit me for once. I was so excited, but the

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Speaker 1: second he met my friends, he started drinking to calm

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Speaker 1: the nerves and completely embarrassed me. I had a whole

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Speaker 1: day planned with my roommates, and he just made an

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Speaker 1: ass out of himself, and in his drunken state, he

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Speaker 1: told me that his X reached out to him and

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Speaker 1: it stressed him out. He swore he left her on

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Speaker 1: red and just wanted me to know. I was like, okay,

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Speaker 1: thanks for telling me. But I noticed him acting weird

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Speaker 1: after that, so I checked his phone. Turns out he

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Speaker 1: was planning on facetiming her that night once he got

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Speaker 1: a chance. Annoying. That is not how I would describe it,

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Speaker 1: but okay anyway, Yeah, so my question is this, how

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Speaker 1: do I break up with this man? Susan? Can we

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Speaker 1: just stop the question for a second, ask I break up?

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Speaker 1: Anytime I've mentioned a break he sobs and begs, to

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Speaker 1: the point where I feel so uncomfortable and trapped. I

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Speaker 1: don't even know how to put it into words. How

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Speaker 1: do I get through his victim complex and break this

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Speaker 1: off for good? I've been so done with this relationship

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Speaker 1: and this was the final straw. Help me get the

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Speaker 1: message across him. Please please, please, Thanks, ladies, Susan, Let's

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Speaker 1: say it together.

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Speaker 2: This is a no brainer.

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Speaker 1: One two three dump him him now or yesterday?

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Speaker 2: Let's go back. So why did he need to calm

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Speaker 2: the nurse because he's meeting his girlfriend's friends, who stress

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Speaker 2: is about that?

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Speaker 1: Some people get nervous about me and other people. However,

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Speaker 1: you and I can safely say this question has so

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Speaker 1: many inherent problems. Number one, Well, getting drunk, you know,

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Speaker 1: is it just brings all sorts of problems. Anyway, he's

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Speaker 1: clearly a cheater, right, Well, he's gonna.

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Speaker 2: Be planned to chat with her on FaceTime. So the

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Speaker 2: drunk ass, stupid ass told her about this message. First problem.

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Speaker 2: But what she's asking us is how do I get

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Speaker 2: this message? You don't have to do anything? Block is this?

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Speaker 2: It's over.

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Speaker 1: It's over, big boy, Susan, I don't know who this is.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna call you anonymous Susan and I are going

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Speaker 1: to role play. Don't break up with.

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Speaker 2: Me, sweetie. Listen to me. Listen to me, learn from this. Okay,

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Speaker 2: this is not normal. You don't do these things and

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Speaker 2: lie about it. I'm guilty for looking at your phone.

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Speaker 2: And there's a reason I look because you're fucking guilty.

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Speaker 2: Move on, forget me.

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Speaker 1: That is what I know.

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't say it like that.

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Speaker 1: You know what I would see that was way too

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Speaker 1: many words. And you who always say keep it short,

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Speaker 1: less is more, lessons more, you know what I would say,

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Speaker 1: Let's say the guy's name is Joe, Joe, I've been

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Speaker 1: an idiot taking you back, not this time by don't

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Speaker 1: let the door hit your ass on the way out,

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Speaker 1: and it'd be gone. And I think, Anonymous, you might

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Speaker 1: need to get a little bit of help here because

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Speaker 1: you don't want to be with him, but you take

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Speaker 1: him back. I think you may have some self esteem

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Speaker 1: issues or something else going on here.

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Speaker 2: And she says, help me get the message across.

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Speaker 1: We're helping her.

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Speaker 2: What helped you need? Their words? Tell him straight up?

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Speaker 2: What part do you need help? You want to do it?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Really give us this number. We'll call him. You're done,

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Speaker 1: you're out. And you know what, Anonymous, once you dump

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Speaker 1: his ass, it's going to open your brain and your

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Speaker 1: heart to better, healthier relationships if you do the work,

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Speaker 1: if you figure out why you kept taking him back.

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Speaker 1: I mean, when we get these questions, Susan, I'm always like,

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Speaker 1: what is not being said or what's behind the words?

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Speaker 2: Yes? And Kathy, you know me with the empathy thing

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Speaker 2: like it takes me forever to break up with the

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Speaker 2: guy so I can relate. However, everybody comes into your

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Speaker 2: life for a reason, a season, you know the saying,

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Speaker 2: and it's just time to accept You're not happy with

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Speaker 2: this behavior. So you could say as kindly as you

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Speaker 2: like or as mean as you like, but say it.

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Speaker 1: But when she says she feels trapped, I'm like, she's

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Speaker 1: I don't know there's a word for it, and I

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Speaker 1: can't think of it right now, because she's trapping herself.

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Speaker 1: Like he's not setting a trap. She's going for a

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Speaker 1: SOB story. She's got some self esteem issues. Maybe she's

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Speaker 1: afraid to be alone. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: This whole question that you sent to us, and thank

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Speaker 2: you for doing so, is not about him. It's about you, Yes,

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Speaker 2: and that's what we want you to deal with. Look

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Speaker 2: in the mirror, talk to yourself, get it out and

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Speaker 2: say I'm better than this and I deserve better than this.

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Speaker 1: That's right, And you know what, sometimes it's hard to

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Speaker 1: say those things. If I were me, I would keep

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Speaker 1: it short, anonymous and just say I'm done, and then

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Speaker 1: I'd spend time. I are you agree, I'd well, I'd

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Speaker 1: call I would get some help you know, a friend,

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Speaker 1: a therapist, somebody say, he help me figure out why

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Speaker 1: I kept jumping back into this, but I wouldn't waste

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Speaker 1: a lot of words with him.

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Speaker 2: And just a few weeks ago, I don't know, a

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Speaker 2: month ago, I was having a yucky kind of day.

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Speaker 2: And you're the one that said, did you look at

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Speaker 2: the mirror this morning and say, I am right, I

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Speaker 2: am worth it, I am lovable, I love That's right?

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Speaker 2: You know, positive affirmation.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I really believe that's true. And there's something in

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Speaker 1: this girl's life where she does something she deserves it,

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Speaker 1: or she's not living her positive best life something, So Anonymous,

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Speaker 1: get after it. We are gonna send you positive vibes.

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Speaker 1: Get it done, and then get some help to figure

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Speaker 1: out why you kept this complete fool in your life.

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Speaker 2: And even though he cries, yes, you feel bad for him,

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Speaker 2: but you're helping him in the long run. You guys

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Speaker 2: are in college, you have a whole life. Yet now's

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Speaker 2: when you learn. Now is when you do this and

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Speaker 2: you move on from it.

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Speaker 1: Susan, she's been with this guy five months. The ink

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Speaker 1: on the ink on the first love letters barely dry.

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Speaker 2: And she drove all the time.

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Speaker 1: So many red flags. Get rid of him. Let us know.

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Speaker 1: We're sorry if we sound harsh. It's just that we're

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Speaker 1: old as Methuselah and we know that this is not

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Speaker 1: going to end up well for you. So get rid

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Speaker 1: of him and find a new guy and get some

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Speaker 1: help yourself, and then let us you.

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Speaker 2: If you're looking for a release and saying do the

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Speaker 2: right thing, you just got it. Okay, yeah, exactly, Thanks

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Speaker 2: for doing it though, okay, Keath. Question number two, and

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Speaker 2: this one is from Claire. Hi, ladies, I need some advice.

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Speaker 2: I just found out that my ex husband is engaged.

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Speaker 2: Our divorce finalized a month ago. What do I do?

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Speaker 2: I'm honestly distraught. I don't want to be with him anymore.

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Speaker 2: We split do to the typical falling out of love

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Speaker 2: slash terrible to no sex life stuff. But this honestly

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Speaker 2: really hurts to make matters worse. He's in gains to

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Speaker 2: his secretary. Please just tell me some things I need

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Speaker 2: to hear right now. Thank you so much. Okay is

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Speaker 2: damn secretary? You ask?

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Speaker 1: Oh, that's not fair, that's not fair.

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Speaker 2: Sooner it's a month, obviously, you know where my head

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Speaker 2: at is at. He's been seeing this secretary for quite

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Speaker 2: some time.

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Speaker 1: Okay, okay, maybe he has, maybe has not, we don't know.

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Speaker 1: Don't jump to conclusions. I mean, I'm right.

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Speaker 2: There was it divorce six years?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. But but here's the thing that you were.

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Speaker 1: You took the thought right out of my mouth. We

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Speaker 1: don't know how long they were separated. We don't know

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Speaker 1: any of those things. And maybe cheated, maybe didn't. That's

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Speaker 1: not the point. The question here is, Claire, you're asking

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Speaker 1: what do I do? You don't do anything. You're out

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Speaker 1: of his life.

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Speaker 2: So he says, right here, I don't want to be

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Speaker 2: with him.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't matter if she wants to or not want.

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Speaker 1: They are too Claire, what do I do? Start dating,

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Speaker 1: go out with your girlfriends, take a trip, read a book,

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Speaker 1: take flower arranging, bake a cake, but stop thinking about

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Speaker 1: him because it's over and or two he's moved on.

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Speaker 1: I really don't. I'm sorry, I mean, I don't. I

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Speaker 1: don't mean to sound harsh. I'm sure that it would

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Speaker 1: be hard to hear. And I'm sure you're thinking like

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Speaker 1: Susan did.

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Speaker 2: Yes, he's already just we just got to a divorce

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Speaker 2: a minute ago. And so you're probably, but it should

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Speaker 2: only stink for a second because remember, you didn't want

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Speaker 2: to be married to him, right, so sucked.

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Speaker 1: I was gonna say, go find some better sex, Claire,

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Speaker 1: you know, go find go find a good time guy

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Speaker 1: for a night. It'll clear your head.

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Speaker 2: And I get the typical falling out of love. That

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Speaker 2: that's what happens. I mean, it's not easy. I think

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Speaker 2: marriage it's not just being and love, it's being a

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Speaker 2: partner with somebody. So you weren't partners obviously, so the

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Speaker 2: love part goes away. I know because I lived through it,

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Speaker 2: and the sex ed this is a no brainer. I

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Speaker 2: think it's stung because number one, it was a secretary.

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Speaker 2: At number two, it came immediately after the divorce.

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Speaker 1: Well, I would get that, I would say number three,

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Speaker 1: I think what Claire isn't saying. I'm reading a little

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Speaker 1: bit between the lines here. She probably surmising, like you did, Susan,

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Speaker 1: that he went that secretary before, and that's probably what stings,

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Speaker 1: and she just doesn't want to put it down. So Claire,

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Speaker 1: if that's the case, it's sucks too. Exactly if you

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Speaker 1: didn't know, If you still don't know, and.

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Speaker 2: Kathy don't some divorces take a few years, so they

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Speaker 2: could have been living their own lives for a couple

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Speaker 2: of years. But because the papers came in and he's engaged,

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Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. So it could be a

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Speaker 2: lot of things, but you want to hear us. We're

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Speaker 2: telling you it's okay.

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Speaker 1: It's okay to feel badly, but again, it's about living

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Speaker 1: positive life. Don't spend your days feeling hurt. Go spend

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Speaker 1: your days doing something positive for yourself that way, you know, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: go do something for you and the hurt. Oh, now

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Speaker 1: we're getting done to it. How much mon? Did you

307
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Speaker 1: get clear? Come join us for a vacation. We'll make

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Speaker 1: you laugh. But thank you, and I'm really sorry. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: good luck and sorry that you feel that way. Okay.

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Speaker 1: The next question is from Nina. She writes, Hi, Kathy

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Speaker 1: and Susan, I feel like I'm about to lose my mind.

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Speaker 1: I just found out that my best friend of ten

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Speaker 1: years has been talking shit about me behind my back

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Speaker 1: for our entire friendship. I found out because she sent

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Speaker 1: a message about me to me by accident. Then when

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Speaker 1: I blocked her from viewing my story, that's literally all

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Speaker 1: I did. Lol. She went on a rampage and started

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Speaker 1: making up crazy lies about me to all of our friends.

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Speaker 1: Turns out this isn't the first time she's done that.

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Speaker 1: The biggest lie I was telling every one that I

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Speaker 1: was in rehab when really I was in the hospital

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Speaker 1: dealing with some severe medical issues. My question is this,

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Speaker 1: How do I heal from this? I feel like I

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Speaker 1: can't trust anyone, and I'm spiraling. I'm away at college.

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Speaker 1: She's still in her hometown, so I feel so disconnected

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Speaker 1: from all of my friends there. I don't even know

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Speaker 1: if they are my friends. Any advice would be great.

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Speaker 1: Thank you.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow, that's sad, you know what. I know she's hurting,

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Speaker 2: but that girl karma's a bit. I feel sorry for

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Speaker 2: her for what life is going to be given her.

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Speaker 2: You don't do things like that. You don't spread lies.

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Speaker 2: It's bad enough if you're going to spread secrets the

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Speaker 2: backstabbing part, but to make up bold face lives. Did

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Speaker 2: I tell you that story? Because I think I did

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Speaker 2: on another podcast when I used to pray that I

337
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Speaker 2: would develop boobs.

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Speaker 3: You know, yes you did at the Splash party and

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Speaker 3: that that thing went out Piccolo stoves and I came

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Speaker 3: out and bar it all, but she's not home to

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Speaker 3: defend herself.

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Speaker 2: So do you think she should put out something on

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Speaker 2: social media to embarrass this woman or this girl or.

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Speaker 1: Not at all. Here's what I think.

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Speaker 2: Simply move on, Nina.

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Speaker 1: You're young, you're in college. I get it. It stings.

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Speaker 1: You've obviously known this girl. I'm guessing it's a girl,

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Speaker 1: could be a guy. But you've known this person for

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Speaker 1: ten years, so probably since your teenage years, and to

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Speaker 1: find this out now is brutal. I would say to you, don't.

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Speaker 1: I would not do what Susan said. I would not

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Speaker 1: put anything out on social media. I would not put

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Speaker 1: any negativity out there because negative breeds negative. So if

354
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Speaker 1: I were you, I would let it go. When you

355
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Speaker 1: get home from college and Thanksgiving, Christmas, spring break, summer,

356
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Speaker 1: whenever it is the next time you see her, I

357
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Speaker 1: would have a sit down with just her and I

358
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Speaker 1: would say here's how I feel, this is what you know,

359
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Speaker 1: blah blah blah. Go through all of it with her

360
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Speaker 1: and say you really hurt my feelings and I can't

361
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Speaker 1: believe this happened. Do you want to be my friend,

362
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Speaker 1: because if you do, you can't do this again. And

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Speaker 1: let me tell you. Wait, I had an experience like

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Speaker 1: this with a very good friend. And I've never told

365
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Speaker 1: this straight before. I just just in talking about her,

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Speaker 1: it just came back to my mind. I had a

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Speaker 1: very good friend who when she would get worried about me,

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Speaker 1: she would call my kids, and of course, you know,

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Speaker 1: my husband's gone, my kids were my kids are worried

370
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Speaker 1: about me, right if something happens. And so last time

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Speaker 1: she did this and my kids panicked because they couldn't

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Speaker 1: reach me. I was out playing golf and having dinner

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Speaker 1: and I turned my phone on. Well, they thought I

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Speaker 1: was dead by the side of the road. Anyway, when

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Speaker 1: I called them back, they my children had called them

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Speaker 1: like ten times. I found out she had called all

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Speaker 1: of my children and said, I can't reach Kathy out

378
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Speaker 1: of nowhere, and she knew where I was by the way.

379
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Speaker 1: She I don't know why she did it, but I

380
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Speaker 1: called her and I said, I can tell you it

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Speaker 1: was a guy I was on a date with and

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Speaker 1: she didn't like the guy, so I don't know. So

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Speaker 1: I called her and I said, listen, you cannot ever

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Speaker 1: call my children again.

385
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Speaker 2: You cannot do that.

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Speaker 1: I said, if I'm dead by the side of the road.

387
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Speaker 1: My children will find out if I'm in the hospital,

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Speaker 1: they will contact my children. If you want to be

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Speaker 1: my friend, you can never do this again, can you

390
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Speaker 1: promise that? And she said no, I can't. I said,

391
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Speaker 1: our friendship just ended. And okay, I'm just saying it's

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Speaker 1: short and sweet.

393
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Speaker 2: Where my mind's going. When she received the message about

394
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Speaker 2: her accidentally from this gossipy girl, she says she blocked her.

395
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Speaker 2: You wouldn't confront right then and there make the phone

396
00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:24,080
Speaker 2: call like whoa, I'm sure you didn't mean to send

397
00:22:24,119 --> 00:22:27,520
Speaker 2: that message to me, And why on earth would you

398
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Speaker 2: be saying.

399
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Speaker 1: Because she's in college.

400
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Speaker 2: If I send you a message and I meant to

401
00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:38,400
Speaker 2: send it to Nancy, okay, and it was trashing you,

402
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Speaker 2: You're only going to block me. You're not going to

403
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Speaker 2: call me it and Susan.

404
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:44,119
Speaker 1: Susan, I have it. I have a news flash. And

405
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Speaker 1: I hope everyone's listening very carefully. Neither you nor I,

406
00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:51,359
Speaker 1: come to think of it, Nancy either we're not in college.

407
00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,440
Speaker 1: We've lived a lot of life. I'm saying I could

408
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:59,879
Speaker 1: see it where where Nina might be so hurt that

409
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:01,800
Speaker 1: oh I just want I just want to block this.

410
00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:04,080
Speaker 1: I just want to you know, I want to forget it,

411
00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:07,520
Speaker 1: but clearly that doesn't work, which is why I suggested

412
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Speaker 1: sit down with her.

413
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 2: Mind gotthy can remember when I tried to hold it

414
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 2: in when something happened between people we know and I

415
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,040
Speaker 2: did good for like a week, and they were all

416
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Speaker 2: on a zoom call together, and.

417
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Speaker 1: Yeah, let me just say, Susan gives great advice. She

418
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:32,000
Speaker 1: doesn't know what's take her, she doesn't know what's follow through.

419
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:35,480
Speaker 1: I remember this phone call. I was like, oh my god,

420
00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:39,359
Speaker 1: can we just say bats Nation needs to hear this.

421
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:45,359
Speaker 1: They think Susan is miss sweetness, princess sweet I am, oh, really,

422
00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:48,640
Speaker 1: you don't have sign of you. That was wrong button exactly.

423
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,720
Speaker 2: I remember they.

424
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Speaker 1: And I have the reputation of being I have a

425
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Speaker 1: bat at all times, and I'm exactly the opposite. So

426
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Speaker 1: bachsor Nation figure it out. And anyway, Nina, delivery, It's

427
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:05,080
Speaker 1: a delivery, I know, Nina. Here's what I'm recommending that

428
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:08,440
Speaker 1: I think Susan would agree, sit down with her when

429
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,679
Speaker 1: you get home from school. If you can't resurrect, or

430
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,360
Speaker 1: remediate or repair, I don't know where all those are.

431
00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:17,359
Speaker 1: Words just came from the friendship. Then it might be over.

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Speaker 2: I agreed to appoint Kathy. I wouldn't give her an

433
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:26,360
Speaker 2: opportunity to be my friend again. The damage is done,

434
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:29,919
Speaker 2: and I personally, as I sit here while you were

435
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:33,720
Speaker 2: talking and I'm listening to you, would probably put something

436
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:36,359
Speaker 2: out about why I was in the hospital, not saying

437
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:39,719
Speaker 2: she said or did anything this friend, and thank you

438
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:43,880
Speaker 2: for all your well wishes. I had a severe whatever

439
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:47,399
Speaker 2: the problem was, so that the world knew she was there,

440
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:50,000
Speaker 2: and then the people I think she was in rehab

441
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:52,119
Speaker 2: they might question that friend.

442
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:55,399
Speaker 1: They might or they might say, oh god, it's true

443
00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:58,200
Speaker 1: and she's putting up this fake story about being the mostrue.

444
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:02,240
Speaker 1: That's why I don't say anything. I don't justify stupid,

445
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,760
Speaker 1: mean rumors with the response. I just don't. People are

446
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:08,280
Speaker 1: gonna believe what they want to believe. Her friend, What

447
00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:10,359
Speaker 1: do I always say to you? What do I always

448
00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:12,679
Speaker 1: say to you when we talk about the mean people

449
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:13,840
Speaker 1: saying stuff about you.

450
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:19,119
Speaker 2: And me online? Wearing a bikinias get your negative thoughts

451
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:20,600
Speaker 2: thrown at right?

452
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:23,360
Speaker 1: Who cares what they say? I care what you think

453
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:25,920
Speaker 1: of me because you're my friend. But if people who

454
00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:28,359
Speaker 1: don't know me on the internet, who cares, so Nina,

455
00:25:28,640 --> 00:25:31,800
Speaker 1: good luck. Let us know if you in fact do

456
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:33,280
Speaker 1: repair the friendship.

457
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:37,200
Speaker 2: Well, can I say one more thing. When you get

458
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:40,680
Speaker 2: home and you talk to those other people, not the person,

459
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,600
Speaker 2: but the other people, you could bring it up and

460
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:46,560
Speaker 2: say I was so hurt by that. I can't believe

461
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:50,280
Speaker 2: that she told people, and maybe they get some feedback

462
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:54,520
Speaker 2: or like, I think we never thought that.

463
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:57,679
Speaker 1: I think you're pitying. That's I think it's keep it

464
00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:00,880
Speaker 1: and it's pity. It's like triangulation. You're bringing other people.

465
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:04,000
Speaker 1: I just say lessons more. I don't. I'm not gonna.

466
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:06,639
Speaker 2: I wish I would be more like you and just

467
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:07,359
Speaker 2: shut it down.

468
00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:09,359
Speaker 1: I wish I wish I could be more like you

469
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:11,280
Speaker 1: and had hair like yours that could try in thirty

470
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:22,000
Speaker 1: seconds with the hair dryer. That's what I wish. Moving on,

471
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:24,680
Speaker 1: all right, are you ready? We're going to play a game.

472
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:28,479
Speaker 1: It's time for games. And you know it's as close

473
00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 1: to moral quandary as we can get. No, but no, listen,

474
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,119
Speaker 1: we're going to answer all your dreams. Your dream is

475
00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:38,639
Speaker 1: about to come through, Susan. You know why. We're going

476
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 1: to talk about what we would do. You do not

477
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:42,919
Speaker 1: have to guess what I would do.

478
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:45,320
Speaker 2: This is a perfect It's.

479
00:26:45,160 --> 00:26:48,080
Speaker 1: The Susan Show. You're going to say what you would do,

480
00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:50,679
Speaker 1: and I'm going to say what I would do. So

481
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:53,000
Speaker 1: here goes first one dreams.

482
00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:56,399
Speaker 2: Guess that's what I said.

483
00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 1: It's Susan's dream day, all right? What would you do

484
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:06,400
Speaker 1: if your first date brings up their ex multiple times

485
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:09,359
Speaker 1: and even compares you to them. Do you call it

486
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:13,679
Speaker 1: out or let it slide?

487
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:14,679
Speaker 2: Well?

488
00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:16,199
Speaker 1: I wish off could happened.

489
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:24,080
Speaker 2: That's happened. That has happened, and honestly it at that time,

490
00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:29,359
Speaker 2: it was whether I was wanting to get to know

491
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:31,719
Speaker 2: this guy or not, Like I know, within three minutes

492
00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:33,680
Speaker 2: going on a first date, whether I'm going to see

493
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:37,320
Speaker 2: you again or not. But multiple times, like sometimes people

494
00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:39,720
Speaker 2: do bring it up and to compare me to somebody.

495
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:43,280
Speaker 2: So it happened one time and he was a widow.

496
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:47,119
Speaker 2: I felt so bad for him, Kathy by the fourth

497
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:49,280
Speaker 2: time and I looked at him in my face, my

498
00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:52,440
Speaker 2: eyes tell all like really, and he goes, I'm so

499
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:54,679
Speaker 2: sorry for doing this, but can I just show you?

500
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:57,720
Speaker 2: I said, of course, I'm about to throw up in

501
00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:03,639
Speaker 2: my mouth, Kathy, I have and it was scary like

502
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 2: she was a hairdresser. She looked, we looked just alike.

503
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:11,399
Speaker 2: Just I mean, maybe our features were a little the

504
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:16,960
Speaker 2: hair that, the body, the height, the And he said

505
00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:17,280
Speaker 2: to me.

506
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 1: Wait, he is a widower. Yes, she wanted to marry

507
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 1: the ghost of Christmas past.

508
00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:25,840
Speaker 2: He said. And I liked the guy a lot. I

509
00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 2: really did. And he said to me, I don't think

510
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:33,399
Speaker 2: I could see you. It's too much. Oh, I know,

511
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:35,000
Speaker 2: I know.

512
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:39,200
Speaker 1: I mean it's really good for him though, you know,

513
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:40,240
Speaker 1: good for him for knowing.

514
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:42,080
Speaker 2: And like I said, I would have seen him again.

515
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:46,000
Speaker 1: He was a nice I think I this this an

516
00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 1: ex a widower that's not an X that's a death right.

517
00:28:49,880 --> 00:28:54,440
Speaker 1: So this is different if your your first date for

518
00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:57,800
Speaker 1: me brings up their ex So you know, for me,

519
00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:01,480
Speaker 1: I'm out. I'm not a first state. You know, down

520
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:04,000
Speaker 1: the road. Maybe if he was talking to me about

521
00:29:04,360 --> 00:29:07,600
Speaker 1: and that's another conversation, by the way, that we can

522
00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:09,840
Speaker 1: have someday, whether or not you know, how much do

523
00:29:09,880 --> 00:29:13,160
Speaker 1: you want to know about your current boyfriend.

524
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 2: Exes fashion them like they're saying.

525
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:21,400
Speaker 1: Oh, that's a big flag. I'm saying, I don't. Someday

526
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 1: we're going to have this conversation about whether how much

527
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:28,520
Speaker 1: do you want to know about your current boyfriend, of

528
00:29:28,560 --> 00:29:30,680
Speaker 1: which I don't have one, but how much you want

529
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:33,840
Speaker 1: to know about their exes? Right? I want to know

530
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:35,160
Speaker 1: some know a.

531
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:37,760
Speaker 2: Little bit of where you're coming from, but rightly details.

532
00:29:38,040 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 2: Everybody's got a past.

533
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:42,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, So anyway I would, I would call it

534
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:45,200
Speaker 1: out and I would let him slide right out the door.

535
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:51,800
Speaker 2: Your date gets a little too drunk and starts making

536
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:55,640
Speaker 2: a scene. Do you stick it out in the night early?

537
00:29:56,400 --> 00:30:00,560
Speaker 1: Okay? God, I can tell you my mine's a real

538
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:03,680
Speaker 1: quick answer. I'm out the door. I do not like

539
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:08,000
Speaker 1: a start. That's right, I'm out, goodbye, I see you.

540
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:10,280
Speaker 1: I'm at at Susan's house.

541
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:14,560
Speaker 2: Who's ever closed? Okay?

542
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:18,680
Speaker 1: You realize you have zero chemistry, but they seem really

543
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 1: into you. Do you give them another date or call

544
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,080
Speaker 1: it quits early? What do you do, Susan?

545
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:27,160
Speaker 2: I stick it out for that date, and I'm usually

546
00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:31,520
Speaker 2: a little I don't want to call myself a puss,

547
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:33,880
Speaker 2: but I'll text them that I didn't feel what I

548
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 2: needed to feel, but I'm not going to go out

549
00:30:36,120 --> 00:30:37,480
Speaker 2: on another date with them. Right.

550
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:41,200
Speaker 1: I also would stick out the date and then if

551
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:43,120
Speaker 1: they called me for another date. I would say, I

552
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:50,440
Speaker 1: have a horrible case of cholera. I mean, I want

553
00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:54,720
Speaker 1: to make sure. I want to make sure, I'll I

554
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:56,760
Speaker 1: want to make sure they don't want to be around me. God,

555
00:30:56,800 --> 00:30:59,800
Speaker 1: it's extremely and it's contagious.

556
00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:02,280
Speaker 2: Can you see the guy now asking a friends do

557
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:08,480
Speaker 2: you know what color is? Okay? You see your friend's

558
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:12,920
Speaker 2: partner out with someone else looking a little too cozy?

559
00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:16,200
Speaker 2: Do you tell your friend or do you stay out

560
00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:16,400
Speaker 2: of it?

561
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:21,640
Speaker 1: You've had this conversation, You've had this conversation, So.

562
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 2: The word friend is the hard part. Like I, yeah,

563
00:31:28,240 --> 00:31:30,440
Speaker 2: I'm not kissing and telling them, but I've seen people

564
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:32,760
Speaker 2: with their wives. Weren't my friend?

565
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:37,920
Speaker 1: Wait a second, I knew the if it is you,

566
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:39,160
Speaker 1: oh no, no, no, no, no no.

567
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 2: If it's you mean Nancy, I don't know.

568
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm oh no, I am saying it.

569
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:47,560
Speaker 2: Yes, if I see friend.

570
00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, but if I just see uh, you know, a friend,

571
00:31:53,920 --> 00:31:55,720
Speaker 1: I don't know. It could be a business meaning that's

572
00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 1: where you get yourself into trouble, you know. It could

573
00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 1: be their cousin. It could be you know, serious, it

574
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:03,200
Speaker 1: could be failing cousin. It could be someone in from

575
00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:05,560
Speaker 1: out of town. I never mess with that stuff.

576
00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:08,000
Speaker 2: I don't know that I would do an immediate.

577
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:09,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't either. I think I would keep my

578
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:13,240
Speaker 1: mouth on your own business. Yeah, but again it depends

579
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 1: on how good a friend it is and how posy.

580
00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:18,360
Speaker 1: I mean, if they're sitting making out, it's probably not

581
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:19,160
Speaker 1: a business meeting.

582
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:22,760
Speaker 2: Okay, your tongue was down her throat. I probably would

583
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:25,840
Speaker 2: address him before i'd address her. I'm going to give

584
00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:28,520
Speaker 2: him an out here. Point in my eyes to his eyes.

585
00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:31,600
Speaker 2: I see you, I'm watching you.

586
00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:34,680
Speaker 1: Okay, what vachor nation? She would do it too, be

587
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:37,440
Speaker 1: scared of suits, and she means what she says. All Right,

588
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:40,280
Speaker 1: you agree to go to a party, but when you

589
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:43,440
Speaker 1: get there, you realize you don't know a single person.

590
00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:44,480
Speaker 1: What's your move?

591
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:46,480
Speaker 2: Oh that's easy, Yeah, that's very easy.

592
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:53,680
Speaker 1: Hey, exactly, I'm counting. Who's on old? Come on? Stop?

593
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 2: Yeah? No, I don't know how long i'd stay. Depends

594
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:01,200
Speaker 2: on the feedback from the crowd, I guess. But when

595
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:02,120
Speaker 2: you do not know a.

596
00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:04,360
Speaker 1: Person, if you're invited to them, maybe maybe the person

597
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:06,640
Speaker 1: you got sick or someone who knows. But I will

598
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:09,600
Speaker 1: say you and I've talked about this as well. You

599
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:12,080
Speaker 1: and I can both walk into a room not know

600
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:16,080
Speaker 1: anybody and make friends and talk. And it's actually a gift,

601
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:18,240
Speaker 1: and I'm grateful that it is. I have that gift

602
00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:18,880
Speaker 1: and you are too.

603
00:33:19,080 --> 00:33:22,440
Speaker 2: It's and it's the smile that's warming and welcoming. People

604
00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:23,800
Speaker 2: want to know when you smile.

605
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:26,400
Speaker 1: Just walking with a smile. Hey, and you know what,

606
00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:28,360
Speaker 1: get people to talk about them for a little bit.

607
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:31,200
Speaker 1: You got a new friend, it's great, all right, go ahead,

608
00:33:31,360 --> 00:33:31,880
Speaker 1: all right.

609
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:36,280
Speaker 2: Your friend borrowed something valuable from you and accidentally broken.

610
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:39,680
Speaker 2: But has it mentioned it yet? Do you bring it

611
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:42,520
Speaker 2: up or wait for them to So I'm taking it

612
00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 2: that they've already given it back to you and you

613
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:49,440
Speaker 2: realize it's broken. I say to me that, yo, what happens?

614
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:54,560
Speaker 1: You owe me? And she means it. Folks, I'm going

615
00:33:54,560 --> 00:34:00,680
Speaker 1: to be honestly, if something valuable, I'm very careful about

616
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:01,760
Speaker 1: lending lens.

617
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:02,960
Speaker 2: Yes, I do borrow.

618
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:06,040
Speaker 1: So yeah, well you said that, but I happen to

619
00:34:06,080 --> 00:34:07,480
Speaker 1: know for a fact you do.

620
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:09,160
Speaker 2: What did I borrow?

621
00:34:09,719 --> 00:34:13,040
Speaker 1: There might be when you took your last trip to

622
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:17,879
Speaker 1: Saint Martin because you needed some additional beach cover ups.

623
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:19,480
Speaker 1: When you went to Saint Martin.

624
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:24,440
Speaker 2: Oh no, that was forced. You're talking about your friend,

625
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:27,439
Speaker 2: and let me tell you that she have some gorgeous things.

626
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:31,200
Speaker 1: We love our friend on this that we say we

627
00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:33,319
Speaker 1: love our friend. Don if you're listening, we love you,

628
00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:37,120
Speaker 1: all right, I I just don't lend something that valuable.

629
00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:39,360
Speaker 2: All right, Well if you did, Pat, I want to know,

630
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:44,040
Speaker 2: would you say, hey, I just noticed that it's broken or.

631
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:47,560
Speaker 1: Its I probably I probably would bring it up, yeah,

632
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:49,400
Speaker 1: I probably nicely, kindly?

633
00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:53,160
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, okay, all right we agreed again.

634
00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:57,279
Speaker 1: Guys, yep, we're agreeing. That's a new friend. A new

635
00:34:57,320 --> 00:35:00,680
Speaker 1: friend always forgets their wallet when you got to How

636
00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:03,480
Speaker 1: do you handle it? Oh, we've had this conversation.

637
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:05,879
Speaker 2: Before they get there, I remind them she does.

638
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:09,239
Speaker 1: I swear I've heard her do it. I've paid the

639
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:11,360
Speaker 1: last two times. Don't forget your wallet?

640
00:35:11,400 --> 00:35:15,200
Speaker 2: That's yes, yes, I mean because then you're not going

641
00:35:15,239 --> 00:35:18,200
Speaker 2: to be friends with them anymore. If they consistently, you're

642
00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:19,040
Speaker 2: going to shy away.

643
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 1: I have to tell you I have a friend. This

644
00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:22,919
Speaker 1: is how people get to know about it. These things

645
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,760
Speaker 1: make us tell stories. I have a friend here, Beth,

646
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:30,680
Speaker 1: who has a couple of friends who do not reciprocate.

647
00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:33,960
Speaker 1: And Beth is always inviting people over for dinner and

648
00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:38,799
Speaker 1: for drinks and for lunch and no, and she always no.

649
00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:42,000
Speaker 1: I always she always has me over for dinner. I

650
00:35:42,040 --> 00:35:42,640
Speaker 1: always bring.

651
00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:43,799
Speaker 2: About every mind.

652
00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:48,400
Speaker 1: And when we go out for brunch, I always stick

653
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:50,360
Speaker 1: my credit card down and say and put hers on

654
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:54,319
Speaker 1: mine because she always has me for dinner always. And

655
00:35:54,680 --> 00:35:56,640
Speaker 1: as people know, I don't really cook very much, so

656
00:35:56,719 --> 00:36:01,319
Speaker 1: I'm but other people don't. They let they let her

657
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:03,400
Speaker 1: pick up the tab, and I'm like, I talk, I

658
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:05,640
Speaker 1: keep saying that's don't be so quick with the credit card.

659
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:06,960
Speaker 1: Sit back, and you know.

660
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:11,200
Speaker 2: He told me that, Yeah, I'm in somebody's company, Like,

661
00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:13,000
Speaker 2: oh no, I'm staying there, you know, let me.

662
00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:16,440
Speaker 1: Ye, yeah, you gotta, you gotta. You know it is

663
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:18,560
Speaker 1: can be uncomfortable, but you know what, you don't want

664
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:19,560
Speaker 1: to breed resentment.

665
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:21,760
Speaker 2: So it's so good point.

666
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:24,440
Speaker 1: So let's let your credit card stay in your pocket

667
00:36:24,440 --> 00:36:25,240
Speaker 1: a little bit longer.

668
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:30,720
Speaker 2: Next one, is you accidentally like an old Instagram post

669
00:36:30,800 --> 00:36:33,400
Speaker 2: of someone you have a crush on it? What do

670
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:33,759
Speaker 2: you do?

671
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:35,360
Speaker 1: Absolutely nothing?

672
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:38,799
Speaker 2: Nothing like it? You have a crush on them. Hello,

673
00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:41,880
Speaker 2: I hope you noticed or see or whoever.

674
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:44,799
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's oh my gosh, we're green way too much.

675
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 2: It's going to be a good day, cat, all right,

676
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:48,359
Speaker 2: all right.

677
00:36:48,320 --> 00:36:50,920
Speaker 1: You and your partner planned a big night out, but

678
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:55,240
Speaker 1: they cancel last minute for something that doesn't seem important. Oh, Susan,

679
00:36:55,239 --> 00:36:55,839
Speaker 1: what would you do?

680
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:59,000
Speaker 2: Doesn't seem important to me? Or was?

681
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:02,200
Speaker 1: Obviously it doesn't important to you, but they can't.

682
00:37:02,280 --> 00:37:06,400
Speaker 2: I would definitely be disappointed. I mean, obviously you have

683
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:08,319
Speaker 2: to accept the fact that they canceled.

684
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:10,560
Speaker 1: You're not going to say anything. Who are you trying

685
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:10,839
Speaker 1: to kill?

686
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:13,600
Speaker 2: Why? And when you tell me that's why, I'm going

687
00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:17,120
Speaker 2: to say, really, I'm not. That depends on what the

688
00:37:17,160 --> 00:37:21,160
Speaker 2: reason was, you know, if it under way, the disappointment will.

689
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:23,879
Speaker 1: Be exactly I think I would do exactly the same thing,

690
00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:25,880
Speaker 1: and I would let them know. You know what, It

691
00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:29,719
Speaker 1: comes back to communicating. If I said, pay no problem,

692
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:33,960
Speaker 1: I'm likely to say, hey, John, whoever it is, I

693
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:37,000
Speaker 1: was really looking forward to seeing you, you know, but

694
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:39,359
Speaker 1: that's okay, Maybe we can do it another night. It's

695
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:42,439
Speaker 1: better to be, you know, it's it's better. It is better.

696
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:43,359
Speaker 2: It is better to be.

697
00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:48,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, go your significant other makes a joke about

698
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:51,760
Speaker 1: something you're insecure about. Do you address it or brush

699
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:52,120
Speaker 1: it off?

700
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:53,839
Speaker 2: Address it?

701
00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:56,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, immediately, Yeah.

702
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:58,840
Speaker 2: And I know we're taught to wait till you get home.

703
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:02,040
Speaker 2: Like we've read one of these questions a few weeks back,

704
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 2: a few episodes back, and they the husband and wife

705
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:08,280
Speaker 2: were the couple. I don't know if they were married,

706
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:11,799
Speaker 2: and they agreed if anything like this should happen, you

707
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:14,359
Speaker 2: never say you just go about the party or whatever

708
00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:17,680
Speaker 2: you're at and wait till you get home. That would

709
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:21,560
Speaker 2: stew in me, can be like a fire being ignited.

710
00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:23,920
Speaker 2: I would look like a dragon by the time we go.

711
00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 1: And she would. Folks, but they're not saying that this

712
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:30,280
Speaker 1: that the significant other is doing in front of other people.

713
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:33,640
Speaker 1: They're saying, you know, it's like it's like this, it's

714
00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:38,600
Speaker 1: like I'm dating or you know Joe, and Joe makes

715
00:38:38,640 --> 00:38:43,799
Speaker 1: a joke about me interrupting Hi. You know you're just

716
00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:44,400
Speaker 1: you're choking.

717
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:47,360
Speaker 2: You're not insecure about well.

718
00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:51,319
Speaker 1: Actually I am. I'm trying to be better about you

719
00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:54,080
Speaker 1: know about or you know, Kathy, uh.

720
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:56,399
Speaker 2: Something you're insecure, man.

721
00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:59,200
Speaker 1: I am insecure about that, or or joking like, oh,

722
00:38:59,239 --> 00:39:01,360
Speaker 1: you were the only girl at the pool with a

723
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:04,399
Speaker 1: one piece on that was a lot of fabric that

724
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:08,600
Speaker 1: would that I'm insecure about that, because it would be well,

725
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:12,960
Speaker 1: here's where I's gonna say to you. People say things

726
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:16,440
Speaker 1: and they and they they cushion it by saying, oh,

727
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:19,239
Speaker 1: it's just a joke. It's not a joke. It is

728
00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:23,200
Speaker 1: not a joke. So if my significant other makes a

729
00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:26,279
Speaker 1: quote unquote joke about something I'm insecure about, you know

730
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:29,120
Speaker 1: what that is. It's cruel. And they know what they're

731
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:32,240
Speaker 1: doing and they're not making a joke. They're either making

732
00:39:32,239 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 1: fun of me or trying to make a point, and

733
00:39:34,239 --> 00:39:35,040
Speaker 1: it's not nice.

734
00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:35,919
Speaker 2: It's not nice.

735
00:39:36,239 --> 00:39:36,479
Speaker 1: Nice.

736
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:40,120
Speaker 2: So, all right, you're casually dating someone and they tell

737
00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:43,799
Speaker 2: you they don't believe in tipping at restaurants. Is this

738
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:44,640
Speaker 2: a deal?

739
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:52,839
Speaker 1: Can we answer in unison? Yes, let me tell you

740
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:56,160
Speaker 1: something I think when you talk about like red flags

741
00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:59,680
Speaker 1: when I'm on a date. If they are never mind tipping,

742
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 1: they are not kind to the server, bending over backwards.

743
00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:08,160
Speaker 1: Two of my three children were servers and restaurants, so

744
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:12,160
Speaker 1: I always tip close, you know, way over twenty percent

745
00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:14,719
Speaker 1: because they work their tails off and I'm always.

746
00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:18,160
Speaker 2: They're not good. Yes, they're giving me no service. They'll

747
00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:19,879
Speaker 2: give the minimal, but they get it tip.

748
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:21,960
Speaker 1: And I tell you why. You need to tip them

749
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:25,359
Speaker 1: the right amount. This is my PSA. No, you need

750
00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:28,359
Speaker 1: to tip the customary total amount. Here's the deal.

751
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:32,000
Speaker 2: No, you keep a certain percentage twenty percent of them.

752
00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:33,920
Speaker 1: Okay, And you're saying, if they're rude, you give them

753
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:34,720
Speaker 1: less than twenty.

754
00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:38,359
Speaker 2: Now, I always tip the minimum, the basic. Oh so

755
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:41,600
Speaker 2: you're saying, somebody treats me well and I noticed because

756
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:43,839
Speaker 2: I was a server as well once fun a time.

757
00:40:44,239 --> 00:40:47,160
Speaker 2: Then they get not double, but way more.

758
00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 1: Yeah.

759
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:49,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, you questioned it because you appreciate it.

760
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:52,560
Speaker 1: Okay, So here's a question that was on here. But

761
00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:56,600
Speaker 1: you know, not not all tips are. If it's cash,

762
00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:58,840
Speaker 1: they don't have to claim them. All you tip in

763
00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:00,239
Speaker 1: cash or credit.

764
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:04,000
Speaker 2: I tried to yes, in kat, chip and cash.

765
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:05,920
Speaker 1: So what I'll try You know what I tried to

766
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:10,040
Speaker 1: do because they split the tips with the with the bartender.

767
00:41:11,200 --> 00:41:14,880
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah right, So if I so, I'll usually

768
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:16,960
Speaker 1: put it on the check because I wanted to get

769
00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:19,680
Speaker 1: split with everyone that helped prepare my meal. But you

770
00:41:19,719 --> 00:41:22,319
Speaker 1: know what I'll do sometimes when I walk out, I'll

771
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:24,480
Speaker 1: take like a ten dollars bill out of my wall.

772
00:41:24,640 --> 00:41:27,399
Speaker 1: Depends on the price of the and just say shake

773
00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:29,239
Speaker 1: their hand and say thank you so much. It was

774
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:31,600
Speaker 1: a delight having you serve and hand them, and that

775
00:41:31,640 --> 00:41:33,880
Speaker 1: money is meant to go to them, and they know it.

776
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:35,799
Speaker 2: And you know, when we all go out, when all

777
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:38,000
Speaker 2: the girls are together, we all throw cards down and

778
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:39,359
Speaker 2: we add the tip to the car and.

779
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:42,319
Speaker 1: We always over we as a group always leave a

780
00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:46,040
Speaker 1: big tip, because that's the kind thing to do, round

781
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:49,399
Speaker 1: fine thing to do. All Right, you're on a date

782
00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:53,400
Speaker 1: and your date says something you completely disagree with, but

783
00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:56,240
Speaker 1: you still like them. Do you challenge them or change

784
00:41:56,239 --> 00:41:58,640
Speaker 1: the subject? Oh? Come on, guess well this last wait,

785
00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:00,640
Speaker 1: let's just guess what the other one would do.

786
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:01,239
Speaker 2: Susan do.

787
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:04,400
Speaker 1: What would Susan do? I would say the same thing,

788
00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:05,319
Speaker 1: Kathy's gonna do.

789
00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:10,440
Speaker 2: We challenge, we challenge. Yes, I would have won the moral.

790
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:15,040
Speaker 1: Susan. Susan, I'm going to tell the producers we want

791
00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:16,600
Speaker 1: to go back to moral quandary.

792
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:19,320
Speaker 2: Because no, no, no, don't get excited. Do not get excited.

793
00:42:20,680 --> 00:42:23,160
Speaker 2: But I think we did well. This game worked for us.

794
00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:26,680
Speaker 1: This game works so well for us. I just want

795
00:42:26,719 --> 00:42:29,120
Speaker 1: to know. I just wonder before we wrap it up,

796
00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:32,120
Speaker 1: and we only have a couple of minutes here, Okay, okay,

797
00:42:32,239 --> 00:42:34,640
Speaker 1: So one of the most I just want to say

798
00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:36,040
Speaker 1: one of the things I love. I haven't had a

799
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:38,120
Speaker 1: chance to say this yet. One of the things I

800
00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:41,080
Speaker 1: love about Bachelor Nation is when we have people on

801
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:44,520
Speaker 1: the podcast, we get to know them and we get

802
00:42:44,560 --> 00:42:48,520
Speaker 1: new friends. And can I just tell you Ali, Joe

803
00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:53,160
Speaker 1: and Julianna, Like, I have Juliana's phone number now, She's like,

804
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:56,319
Speaker 1: we're the Newton girls. They're so nice. I feel like

805
00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:58,200
Speaker 1: I've made new friends.

806
00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:00,640
Speaker 2: I know, I've just in the past guys that we

807
00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:03,400
Speaker 2: had I think we knew them from the show, but

808
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:06,920
Speaker 2: getting to talk to them and digging in and.

809
00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:10,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just I just want everyone to know that

810
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:14,000
Speaker 1: we're the friendships were blessed, and the friendships that we

811
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:20,160
Speaker 1: make through Bachelor are really friends. It crosses age lines though.

812
00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:23,160
Speaker 1: I just feel so grateful to be making all these friends.

813
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:27,239
Speaker 1: All right. So that's that's the PSA. This was so

814
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:27,920
Speaker 1: much fun.

815
00:43:28,200 --> 00:43:32,560
Speaker 2: And thank you, sir God, Yes people, we.

816
00:43:32,600 --> 00:43:36,840
Speaker 1: Love you all. Thank you all to our listeners, uh

817
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:39,680
Speaker 1: for joining in and listening to us today, because without

818
00:43:39,719 --> 00:43:43,359
Speaker 1: you and your questions and your comments, we'd have nothing.

819
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:46,879
Speaker 2: And make sure you follow us on Bachelor Happy Hour

820
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:49,439
Speaker 2: because you know us, we have a new one coming

821
00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:53,240
Speaker 2: at every week and you don't want to miss. I mean, really,

822
00:43:53,680 --> 00:43:57,120
Speaker 2: for Kathy and I to agree on just about everything today,

823
00:43:57,280 --> 00:43:57,839
Speaker 2: that's a win.

824
00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:00,719
Speaker 1: That is a win. Although maybe they want to hear

825
00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:04,760
Speaker 1: us argue Susan, here's the thing we do. We don't agree.

826
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:08,160
Speaker 1: We could really dial it up, but in the meantime,

827
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:11,640
Speaker 1: please submit your questions, your comments, all of it. Go

828
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:16,000
Speaker 1: bachelornation dot com, slash Golden Hour, or d m us

829
00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:18,640
Speaker 1: on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour.

830
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:21,400
Speaker 2: And listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the

831
00:44:21,400 --> 00:44:25,240
Speaker 2: iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to your podcast. We'll

832
00:44:25,239 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 2: see you next time.

833
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:26,919
Speaker 1: Take care,