WEBVTT - This Kneegah

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, the production of iHeartRadio

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<v Speaker 1>and the Black Effect Network Talk.

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<v Speaker 2>We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion. Who

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<v Speaker 2>talks back.

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<v Speaker 1>What's up y'all? Is your girl a j holiday? What's up?

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<v Speaker 2>Tandem? Hey girl, Hey y'all. I love y'all.

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<v Speaker 1>We back, Chad. How was your weekend?

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<v Speaker 2>How was my weekend? Damn bitch, I don't even remember

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<v Speaker 2>the weekend. It was just you ain't do shit. I

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<v Speaker 2>think I went to work and later around and that's it.

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<v Speaker 1>Talks about, right, what did you do? Renig on? Everybody

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<v Speaker 1>all fucking weekend, even up until yesterday.

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<v Speaker 2>It was cold.

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<v Speaker 1>I know, Like, why y'all want to be outside? I'm confused.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I ain't with that. I don't like that, coach.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm really a summer baby. I gotta be in the house.

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<v Speaker 2>To me too. I like to be bundled up watching

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<v Speaker 2>a good TV show, but I could not get into anything.

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<v Speaker 2>It's because my phone. When I tried to watch a

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<v Speaker 2>show called Severance on Apple.

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<v Speaker 1>TV that was good, I've seen the preview.

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<v Speaker 2>For that, and I just could not unplug from my

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<v Speaker 2>phone to tune into the TV. I think I started

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<v Speaker 2>the episodes over and over and over and over and

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<v Speaker 2>over again. So then I just stopped and then I've

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<v Speaker 2>rewatched Harlem, so because that's about to come on.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, it's weird that you say that, because they

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<v Speaker 1>must be doing something with the social media this week

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<v Speaker 1>for real, or these last couple of days, because I

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<v Speaker 1>have really spent an excessive amount of time scrolling these

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<v Speaker 1>last couple of days. For sure.

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<v Speaker 2>Absolutely me too. I just was I could never tune

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<v Speaker 2>into the TV. I could not put my phone down,

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<v Speaker 2>and that's crazy. I mean, well, TikTok was only gone

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<v Speaker 2>for twelve hours, so it wasn't like we lost a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of that. Oh, I went to my friends' birthday

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<v Speaker 2>party this weekend. I'm lying. I went to an eighties party.

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<v Speaker 2>It was so fun, like she curated this party so nice,

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<v Speaker 2>Like she had valet when you pull up at the

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<v Speaker 2>house when she got big as Yeah, so she had

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<v Speaker 2>valet downstairs. Homegirl got like a jumbo tron on the ceiling.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, you know how a person would have that

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<v Speaker 2>tea a wall with TV's they made one TV screen

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<v Speaker 2>had that down there. The DJ. It was just a

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<v Speaker 2>really nice everybody was dressed up. Yeah, everybody was dressed

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<v Speaker 2>like eighty dope eighties dope dealers. Honestly, that's how I

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<v Speaker 2>felt like. Everybody looked dookie ropes, the bucket had you know.

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<v Speaker 2>It was nice, It was a good time.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, that's one thing I skipped out on on Saturday

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<v Speaker 1>was the seventies. I mean Sunday was a seventies party.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that would have been fun too. Then go nope, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>this is one of them parties with one of their friends.

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<v Speaker 2>Like if you don't show up, they're gonna be looking

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<v Speaker 2>at you like crazy, like how you didn't come? You know?

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<v Speaker 2>So I definitely made sure my face was in the building.

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<v Speaker 2>And then I hung out with Jamaican Raquel. Shout out

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<v Speaker 2>to Jamaican rackuere the bitches because shots. They could take

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<v Speaker 2>some shots.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you think it's because Jamaica workouts so fucking hard.

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<v Speaker 1>She definitely used to be the bitch like drink drink drink,

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<v Speaker 1>and I never seen her drunk.

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<v Speaker 2>She's still that bitch. She's still I can't hay.

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<v Speaker 1>What type of body? Wait, what you got going on Sunday?

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<v Speaker 2>I had to get up and do like some hair

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<v Speaker 2>and makeup, and I was her team. Yeah, so that

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<v Speaker 2>was my weekend. That's it.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I didn't go out this past weekend. I let

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<v Speaker 1>me tell you all what I did do last week though,

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<v Speaker 1>which while I was in the middle of doing it,

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, damn, we should do a photo shoot

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<v Speaker 1>doing this? What getting a fucking mammogram?

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<v Speaker 2>I got put out.

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<v Speaker 1>Awareness, you know, bitch, just be playing with their fucking health.

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<v Speaker 1>Chid definitely the fuck up because you know, these last

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<v Speaker 1>couple of years, it's like a lot of people and

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<v Speaker 1>I wasn't afraid. One of my homegirls was like, you

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<v Speaker 1>weren't nervous going to your appointment. I'm like, no, bitch,

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<v Speaker 1>because I know I'm healthy, right. I'm always like put

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<v Speaker 1>that in the universe, even if I fe some type

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<v Speaker 1>of way, I am healthy, right, But yeah, I let

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<v Speaker 1>them smash my titties up. Everything look okay, and nobody

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<v Speaker 1>no doctor has reviewed my ship yet. I reviewed it myself,

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<v Speaker 1>like I could they send you? Ain't nothing on there,

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<v Speaker 1>you know what I'm saying, So I guess I'm good.

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<v Speaker 1>Ain't no radiologists reviewed it still today, Like that appointment

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<v Speaker 1>was last week Tuesday, and it's nothing in your charge,

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<v Speaker 1>nothing except for the you know, the.

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<v Speaker 2>News is good news when it comes to health exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>So these titties, good y'all.

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<v Speaker 2>Let me see him.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And you know the thing is, I was having

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<v Speaker 1>like little sharp pings and both of them though, like

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<v Speaker 1>just randomly occasionally, so a little piece in the back

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<v Speaker 1>of my head.

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<v Speaker 2>Like, but I that's not how it works. It's not

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<v Speaker 2>gonna be in both titties. I ain't never heard nobody

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<v Speaker 2>having girl. I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>People have had double what do you call them? Second? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>people have had.

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<v Speaker 2>Double Yeah, but that is it because it was in

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<v Speaker 2>both breasts, or because the potential was there for both breasts,

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<v Speaker 2>so they just cut them both off. I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe if you've had one, you know, sliding our DMS, and.

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<v Speaker 1>I believe because both breasts may have been a cancer. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you may have had like some type of masks in

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<v Speaker 1>them that was cancers. Because ain't no way, like, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>just cut the one titty off so only have to

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<v Speaker 1>get one implant. Ain't no way you just cut my

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<v Speaker 1>other titty off just to match me up.

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<v Speaker 2>Might as well, Shit, no, I would do it. You

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<v Speaker 2>know what. Speaking of titties, AJ gonna send me last

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<v Speaker 2>night a video of somebody with little titties and was like,

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<v Speaker 2>this is your sign to keep them little ass titties,

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<v Speaker 2>because I always would be like I think I want

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<v Speaker 2>to get like a little a small implant. And then

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<v Speaker 2>AJ is like, this is your sign to lead.

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<v Speaker 1>Them titties alone, is what I said.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm I'm at a place where I'm not cutting

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<v Speaker 2>on myself.

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<v Speaker 1>So yeah, good titties. Them niggas is not complaining about

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<v Speaker 1>them titties. Has any nigga ever said, a baby, you

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<v Speaker 1>could use a little C cup? Well you probably a C.

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<v Speaker 1>You can use a little double D cup. Has anybody

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<v Speaker 1>ever said that? No, just do some wall push ups.

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<v Speaker 1>If anything, I don't know, that'll.

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<v Speaker 2>Make that a titty up that'll lift your titties.

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<v Speaker 1>So yeah, and I mean I need to do some

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<v Speaker 1>wall these titties is what I gained. Weight is like

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<v Speaker 1>the first thing to go and these titties get bloated

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<v Speaker 1>and like lose weight is the first thing to defleat.

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<v Speaker 1>Really hell yeah, so I gotta do like I be

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<v Speaker 1>doing like a lot of these things and chest stuff

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<v Speaker 1>to keep.

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<v Speaker 2>This is my back, my back. Like when they say

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<v Speaker 2>I'm big your back, that's who they speaking to me. Baby,

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<v Speaker 2>Like I try to wear this fur coat, I look

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<v Speaker 2>like the cowardly lion off wiscuse my back so big,

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<v Speaker 2>and then I got that big hair. Uh, I can't

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<v Speaker 2>wear that at shit. Crazy.

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<v Speaker 1>We be so hard on ourself man, and nigga like,

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<v Speaker 1>she looks good. Oh yeah, I said, I look up like, well,

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<v Speaker 1>thank you, because bitch, I feel like a mess right now.

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<v Speaker 2>Right And it'd be when you're looking the worst, but

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<v Speaker 2>the nigga think you look the best, so you look.

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<v Speaker 2>That's what it is. Niggas all we really got to

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<v Speaker 2>be like. I can look at pictures of when I

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<v Speaker 2>was smaller and more have more collagen and all that

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<v Speaker 2>good ship. And I remember saying being hard on myself.

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<v Speaker 1>Then and now you want to get back to that.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I was like, why didn't I embrace that

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<v Speaker 2>when I had it? So I need to do the

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<v Speaker 2>same thing right now because there will be a time

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<v Speaker 2>where I look back on this version of myself and

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<v Speaker 2>be like, oh, she was fine. You know exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>Y'all love every moment of this journey exactly. Whatever body

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<v Speaker 1>you in love it today, child, yep, and work on it.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's get into stupid internet news.

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<v Speaker 2>What happened y'all?

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<v Speaker 1>Y'all know we was in a last week, like like

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<v Speaker 1>Rocco hairline. Child, they got on Rocco Monica baby Daddy.

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<v Speaker 1>We got arrested for I think like disorderly conduct or

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<v Speaker 1>some type of assault some ship. This nigga got arrested

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<v Speaker 1>for in Atlanta and they posted his mugshot online and

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<v Speaker 1>Rock I don't even understand, Like he literally has a

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<v Speaker 1>cone head and then he has the Fred Sandford on

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<v Speaker 1>the side. So all this time his nigga been hat

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<v Speaker 1>fishing and lace front wearing, okay, and we didn't know.

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<v Speaker 1>But see Monica loved you anyway.

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<v Speaker 2>And that just goes to show you are not ugly,

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<v Speaker 2>you are poor.

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<v Speaker 1>Ugly because a nigga responds to people laughing, is did

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<v Speaker 1>y'all get some money today? Like that's really all niggas

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<v Speaker 1>care about. It's getting money, like his hairline. But really

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<v Speaker 1>you care about the hairline, nigga.

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<v Speaker 2>Right, you ain't want them pictures out there like that?

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<v Speaker 2>Don't nobody who wear a wig? We're want pitches with

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<v Speaker 2>their wig off out there like that.

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<v Speaker 1>But he can't even do a ball head, Like is

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<v Speaker 1>that the real shape of the head. It doesn't look

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<v Speaker 1>like that with the hair on?

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<v Speaker 2>Is that the real shape of the head is a

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<v Speaker 2>crazy question for real.

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<v Speaker 1>Because did you see it? It's like comed up at

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<v Speaker 1>the top, so it doesn't look like that when he

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<v Speaker 1>has his lace run.

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<v Speaker 2>On, maybe because he have like more hair. Like the

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<v Speaker 2>barber is a good barber, and he makes it look

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<v Speaker 2>like the illusion of flatness when it's really hair on

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<v Speaker 2>the side of that cone.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what I'm saying, Yo, it's magic.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you just believe in magic? While lie Magi?

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<v Speaker 1>But this the nigga who was playing with Big Monica manesh,

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<v Speaker 1>I can't believe it. I can't believe it.

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<v Speaker 2>Well it happens.

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<v Speaker 1>Shout out to that nigga here.

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<v Speaker 2>Line, but are you like, would you carry out? I'm

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<v Speaker 2>a fan of the man wigs. Some of these niggas

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<v Speaker 2>be upgrading ten thousand percent with that little man.

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<v Speaker 1>I actually like ball heads, like I have convinced a

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<v Speaker 1>few niggas in my lifetime to let it go. And

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like men don't know no better until they

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<v Speaker 1>meet a real one. Be like, Nigga, just try it.

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<v Speaker 1>Just cut it off and see how you look and

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<v Speaker 1>with the body.

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<v Speaker 2>But if you can get a way with a man

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<v Speaker 2>wig and it looked nice, do it. I'm not opposed

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<v Speaker 2>if it's done right now. If it looked like.

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<v Speaker 1>You gonna date one, I would, oh, okay, yeah I would.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't think I wouldn't hate on a nigga if

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<v Speaker 1>he were again, I would probably try to get him

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<v Speaker 1>to go do hearing plants, because I got a couple

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<v Speaker 1>of homeboys that went over there to Turkey and they

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<v Speaker 1>came back a bad bitch nigga.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, yeah, but what I don't like is that paint.

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<v Speaker 2>Don't do that paint. I don't like that.

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<v Speaker 1>And you're gonna go through an ugly stage with the

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<v Speaker 1>hearing plants. Yeah, but it's gonna get better, like you know,

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<v Speaker 1>oncey heels and all that shit and your new hair

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<v Speaker 1>start coming in like you're gonna be lit all of it.

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<v Speaker 2>You know. One of my homegirls did that. She said

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<v Speaker 2>something slick to me and she had that ship tied

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<v Speaker 2>around her hair real tight. I was like, bitch, you

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<v Speaker 2>look like Frankistan right now.

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<v Speaker 1>And she got her hairlined back.

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<v Speaker 2>She had she had just cut back from getting her

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<v Speaker 2>hairlined and she had like it was like a turner

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<v Speaker 2>kid on that. Brother. You can't be talking shit to

0:12:05.640 --> 0:12:12.640
<v Speaker 2>be looking like that right now, bitch. It looked good.

0:12:13.600 --> 0:12:14.079
<v Speaker 2>It look good.

0:12:14.160 --> 0:12:19.520
<v Speaker 1>Now, just got a hold on, hold on, at bit

0:12:20.720 --> 0:12:22.040
<v Speaker 1>what else we had going on? This one?

0:12:22.559 --> 0:12:26.559
<v Speaker 2>Newton? So Cam Newton did that show. It's a lot

0:12:26.600 --> 0:12:28.520
<v Speaker 2>of celebrities on that show. I want to watch it.

0:12:28.559 --> 0:12:32.920
<v Speaker 2>It's like a Special Forces kind of fear factor situation.

0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:36.559
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, I saw him like jumping from a boat

0:12:36.600 --> 0:12:37.240
<v Speaker 1>to the plane.

0:12:37.679 --> 0:12:42.360
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, very athletic. Athleticism has not declined human because I

0:12:42.360 --> 0:12:44.680
<v Speaker 2>would not. First of all, why am I here on

0:12:44.720 --> 0:12:47.320
<v Speaker 2>this world? I would not participate in no Special Forces ship.

0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:51.000
<v Speaker 2>I am too delicate to be out there doing those

0:12:51.000 --> 0:12:54.680
<v Speaker 2>type of challenges and stuff like that. But Cam Newton

0:12:55.000 --> 0:12:59.200
<v Speaker 2>was on there and he was speaking about, you know,

0:13:00.120 --> 0:13:03.439
<v Speaker 2>not being out of the NFL for three years now

0:13:04.000 --> 0:13:06.920
<v Speaker 2>and those checks not rolling in the same and him

0:13:06.960 --> 0:13:10.440
<v Speaker 2>having eight children and him feeling like he can't provide

0:13:10.480 --> 0:13:12.800
<v Speaker 2>the way he used to. And I'm sure he still

0:13:12.800 --> 0:13:17.960
<v Speaker 2>can provide exceptionally in comparison to the average American, but

0:13:18.520 --> 0:13:21.440
<v Speaker 2>in his eyes, it's not the same and it makes

0:13:21.480 --> 0:13:25.320
<v Speaker 2>him feel he said he's superman, but really he's just

0:13:25.400 --> 0:13:29.000
<v Speaker 2>a man, you know. And I thought that was good,

0:13:29.200 --> 0:13:35.640
<v Speaker 2>you know, for everybody to hear, because oftentimes men and

0:13:35.760 --> 0:13:39.720
<v Speaker 2>women treat men like their value is based on how

0:13:39.800 --> 0:13:43.839
<v Speaker 2>much they can provide? Do you agree?

0:13:44.400 --> 0:13:48.920
<v Speaker 1>We'll save my response to for the show. It's kind

0:13:48.920 --> 0:13:54.000
<v Speaker 1>of aligned with this conversation regarding Cam Newton. So no,

0:13:54.240 --> 0:13:58.720
<v Speaker 1>that is not that doesn't like what a man makes

0:13:58.800 --> 0:14:01.480
<v Speaker 1>or like his what he can produce. That does not

0:14:02.040 --> 0:14:06.079
<v Speaker 1>like just equate like to just who this man is,

0:14:06.200 --> 0:14:08.760
<v Speaker 1>you know, because of what he can provide. I wouldn't

0:14:08.760 --> 0:14:11.920
<v Speaker 1>say that, but I think that both men and women

0:14:12.040 --> 0:14:18.040
<v Speaker 1>know that they should be providing. And I don't think

0:14:18.080 --> 0:14:21.000
<v Speaker 1>a man is comfortable when he can. And Cam Newton

0:14:21.120 --> 0:14:23.160
<v Speaker 1>just said that, you know what I'm saying. So I

0:14:23.200 --> 0:14:27.560
<v Speaker 1>think when you take a man's job away right as

0:14:27.600 --> 0:14:30.280
<v Speaker 1>the provider, some of them might have a little bit

0:14:30.360 --> 0:14:33.840
<v Speaker 1>of resentment towards you. They may say they're okay with

0:14:34.440 --> 0:14:37.440
<v Speaker 1>their woman making more money than them, but are they

0:14:37.520 --> 0:14:39.800
<v Speaker 1>really are you now in a situation where your man

0:14:39.880 --> 0:14:42.800
<v Speaker 1>is in competition with you, is he really comfortable in

0:14:42.840 --> 0:14:48.640
<v Speaker 1>that position? So I'm pretty sure some men are, but

0:14:48.760 --> 0:14:52.800
<v Speaker 1>most men aspire right to be able to take care

0:14:52.920 --> 0:14:55.120
<v Speaker 1>of people. How many other people they can?

0:14:56.800 --> 0:14:57.280
<v Speaker 2>I agree?

0:14:57.720 --> 0:15:00.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, So anyway, y'a, it's going to be kind of

0:15:00.840 --> 0:15:02.400
<v Speaker 1>aligned with.

0:15:02.160 --> 0:15:03.400
<v Speaker 2>Our topic today.

0:15:05.440 --> 0:15:08.320
<v Speaker 1>But you know that I think I love that Cam

0:15:08.400 --> 0:15:12.200
<v Speaker 1>Newton was very vulnerable in that moment and then talking

0:15:12.240 --> 0:15:14.600
<v Speaker 1>to the men while doing it. I'd like to see it.

0:15:17.000 --> 0:15:19.200
<v Speaker 1>But then you get on these shows like when you

0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:23.000
<v Speaker 1>had Doctor Bryan Brian on and the things that she say,

0:15:23.120 --> 0:15:25.080
<v Speaker 1>you try to make it look like it's not like

0:15:25.160 --> 0:15:28.880
<v Speaker 1>she's wrong, right with you creating these broken homes, and

0:15:29.960 --> 0:15:34.600
<v Speaker 1>it's just hard for a man to actually provide in

0:15:34.640 --> 0:15:37.680
<v Speaker 1>the way that he wants to when everybody's in different households. Also,

0:15:39.240 --> 0:15:41.080
<v Speaker 1>so if you have all your kids in one place

0:15:41.120 --> 0:15:44.400
<v Speaker 1>with one woman, y'all both are working at this thing together.

0:15:44.560 --> 0:15:46.800
<v Speaker 1>Now you got to do with this attitude and what

0:15:46.880 --> 0:15:49.080
<v Speaker 1>else this one got going on? If she might be

0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:52.440
<v Speaker 1>shortering some shit over there and you're used to taking

0:15:52.440 --> 0:15:56.640
<v Speaker 1>care of all these different households, I can't like, you know,

0:15:56.720 --> 0:16:00.360
<v Speaker 1>it's it's it's fucking stressful, and I think you might

0:16:00.480 --> 0:16:04.360
<v Speaker 1>do better under stressed. Maybe right, But they also have

0:16:04.440 --> 0:16:07.320
<v Speaker 1>a high day rate of suicide when she gets too

0:16:07.320 --> 0:16:10.360
<v Speaker 1>out of control. They can't really take it. Not how

0:16:10.400 --> 0:16:13.160
<v Speaker 1>women handle stress. Women handle stress better than men.

0:16:13.200 --> 0:16:14.920
<v Speaker 2>I believe men.

0:16:14.800 --> 0:16:18.480
<v Speaker 1>Are just quiet with the stress. But peace and quiet

0:16:18.640 --> 0:16:19.880
<v Speaker 1>is two different things.

0:16:20.360 --> 0:16:24.760
<v Speaker 2>Just because you quiet, you at peace, you peaceful, that's

0:16:24.800 --> 0:16:27.840
<v Speaker 2>for sure, like you really stressed out and just working

0:16:27.880 --> 0:16:30.160
<v Speaker 2>shit out in your mind, which is not.

0:16:30.160 --> 0:16:30.920
<v Speaker 1>Good all the time.

0:16:31.880 --> 0:16:32.360
<v Speaker 2>I agree.

0:16:32.520 --> 0:16:35.840
<v Speaker 1>So, yeah, he has stretched himself then, so it's good

0:16:35.840 --> 0:16:39.440
<v Speaker 1>that he can now recognize that while talking to these men.

0:16:39.800 --> 0:16:42.040
<v Speaker 1>But please keep that same type of energy when you're

0:16:42.040 --> 0:16:44.920
<v Speaker 1>talking to women when they pointing out things. I just

0:16:44.960 --> 0:16:49.120
<v Speaker 1>think that men prefer to hear shit from men.

0:16:49.680 --> 0:16:53.880
<v Speaker 2>Don't blow through your money. Guys, don't blow through your money.

0:16:54.400 --> 0:16:55.840
<v Speaker 2>You know, they have.

0:16:55.800 --> 0:17:00.320
<v Speaker 1>To give financial advisors. I just don't know, and I

0:17:00.360 --> 0:17:02.520
<v Speaker 1>don't even think it's a situation with blowing through money.

0:17:02.560 --> 0:17:04.760
<v Speaker 1>Like he literally is taking care of too many people.

0:17:06.520 --> 0:17:08.280
<v Speaker 1>So you let your dick make a slave out of you.

0:17:08.320 --> 0:17:11.119
<v Speaker 1>So now you gotta keep doing all these different things

0:17:11.160 --> 0:17:14.600
<v Speaker 1>now to keep up. I think he has the hustle,

0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:15.879
<v Speaker 1>for sure, he'll be okay.

0:17:16.280 --> 0:17:19.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, eight kids, it's a lot of mouths to feed. Well,

0:17:19.560 --> 0:17:22.760
<v Speaker 2>But think about it. Back in the day, great grandma

0:17:22.800 --> 0:17:26.560
<v Speaker 2>and great grandpa had thirteen and nine and thirteen kids,

0:17:26.640 --> 0:17:28.720
<v Speaker 2>you know, and they were all in the same outside

0:17:28.760 --> 0:17:29.080
<v Speaker 2>the house.

0:17:29.880 --> 0:17:34.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, somebody the whole household somewhere else, but the times

0:17:34.320 --> 0:17:36.199
<v Speaker 1>was different, you know what I'm saying. I don't like

0:17:36.240 --> 0:17:39.120
<v Speaker 1>how the older generation, like the baby Boomers and shit,

0:17:39.160 --> 0:17:41.440
<v Speaker 1>be trying to talk shit about us, like y'all niggas

0:17:41.440 --> 0:17:44.520
<v Speaker 1>literally ain't really have to go to high school though,

0:17:45.359 --> 0:17:47.960
<v Speaker 1>Like y'all who was able to get jobs and buy

0:17:48.000 --> 0:17:51.840
<v Speaker 1>a house for fifty thousand dollars like we a house

0:17:51.960 --> 0:17:53.680
<v Speaker 1>is half a million dollars now, It's.

0:17:53.600 --> 0:17:56.320
<v Speaker 2>Just yeah, it's just not the same plan field.

0:17:55.960 --> 0:17:58.160
<v Speaker 1>It's not. It's not the same. They still want three

0:17:58.160 --> 0:18:00.879
<v Speaker 1>times your income for a for a rental, and.

0:18:00.880 --> 0:18:05.360
<v Speaker 2>Then the wages have not increased the same as the

0:18:05.359 --> 0:18:06.720
<v Speaker 2>prices exactly.

0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:11.160
<v Speaker 1>So imagine three times your your income, I mean three

0:18:11.160 --> 0:18:13.040
<v Speaker 1>times the rent has to be your income, right, but

0:18:13.080 --> 0:18:16.679
<v Speaker 1>your rent is two thousand dollars a month, right, you

0:18:16.720 --> 0:18:18.560
<v Speaker 1>have to make one hundred thousand dollars a year now

0:18:18.640 --> 0:18:20.280
<v Speaker 1>to rent an apartment in most.

0:18:20.119 --> 0:18:21.960
<v Speaker 2>Places basically.

0:18:23.800 --> 0:18:25.440
<v Speaker 1>The math and mathing right.

0:18:25.960 --> 0:18:29.440
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes it's just literally like they're setting it up right

0:18:29.440 --> 0:18:32.560
<v Speaker 2>now where you need the partner or selling.

0:18:32.480 --> 0:18:34.600
<v Speaker 1>Drugs, like you're gonna have to do some illegal shit.

0:18:36.200 --> 0:18:43.600
<v Speaker 2>What they'll go say because that did telling drugs is

0:18:43.640 --> 0:18:46.360
<v Speaker 2>dead to ship you had to get on some scamming

0:18:46.359 --> 0:18:47.199
<v Speaker 2>on students.

0:18:48.960 --> 0:18:51.760
<v Speaker 1>Tell little Asian little boy like twenty one twenty two,

0:18:51.800 --> 0:18:54.320
<v Speaker 1>he got arrested. He was selecting online. But he done

0:18:54.359 --> 0:18:58.640
<v Speaker 1>have hacked into some people's uh bitcoin accounts and stole

0:18:58.720 --> 0:19:01.760
<v Speaker 1>like four hundred million, four four hundred million dollars I

0:19:01.760 --> 0:19:04.159
<v Speaker 1>believe worth a bitcoin. Mhm.

0:19:04.600 --> 0:19:07.840
<v Speaker 2>Oh, he was greedy. He should have just took one

0:19:07.920 --> 0:19:10.480
<v Speaker 2>or two million. They may not have even noticed.

0:19:10.280 --> 0:19:13.359
<v Speaker 1>Flexing on the ground with all the whips in the club.

0:19:14.560 --> 0:19:19.639
<v Speaker 2>Mm hmm, that's crazy. All right, So hold on, so

0:19:19.840 --> 0:19:20.640
<v Speaker 2>did you see.

0:19:22.480 --> 0:19:24.440
<v Speaker 1>This just came in hot? I guess I don't watch

0:19:24.480 --> 0:19:26.720
<v Speaker 1>reality TV like that. I think it's just kind of

0:19:26.960 --> 0:19:32.040
<v Speaker 1>not the best representation of black people. I'm not opposed

0:19:32.080 --> 0:19:36.199
<v Speaker 1>to doing reality here though, but I just think, like

0:19:36.280 --> 0:19:38.840
<v Speaker 1>the ship that be on T very, I don't know, man,

0:19:38.880 --> 0:19:40.880
<v Speaker 1>we'd be having our moments in real life, yeah, we'd

0:19:40.920 --> 0:19:43.280
<v Speaker 1>be ratcheting, But I just don't really be liking to

0:19:43.280 --> 0:19:45.359
<v Speaker 1>see it on TV for real for other people to see.

0:19:45.560 --> 0:19:47.680
<v Speaker 1>Because now white people really don't have to be our friends.

0:19:47.720 --> 0:19:49.879
<v Speaker 1>They just get a little piece of us online to

0:19:49.960 --> 0:19:52.080
<v Speaker 1>see and they be like, oh, that's not all these

0:19:52.160 --> 0:19:52.720
<v Speaker 1>niggas are.

0:19:52.640 --> 0:19:54.440
<v Speaker 2>We ain't gotta be the motherfucker friend either.

0:19:58.280 --> 0:20:03.080
<v Speaker 1>On an episode of Love and Hip Hop Miami, whoever

0:20:03.160 --> 0:20:05.280
<v Speaker 1>this person is Flow, do you know who that is?

0:20:07.160 --> 0:20:10.000
<v Speaker 2>No, I don't. I don't watch I don't watch reality. Yeah,

0:20:10.280 --> 0:20:12.399
<v Speaker 2>sometimes I watch Baddy. So I won't even hold you

0:20:12.760 --> 0:20:15.359
<v Speaker 2>on the treadmill because I need something to take my

0:20:15.440 --> 0:20:18.840
<v Speaker 2>mind off the burn baby sh but go ahead.

0:20:19.320 --> 0:20:24.119
<v Speaker 1>So love them hip Hop Miami. Flow and amer Le

0:20:24.240 --> 0:20:32.680
<v Speaker 1>Negra got into an argument and the girl Flow said

0:20:32.840 --> 0:20:36.320
<v Speaker 1>that's how black bitches hit on light skin girls. That

0:20:36.440 --> 0:20:39.160
<v Speaker 1>was the end of it. And Amra was like, say

0:20:39.160 --> 0:20:41.679
<v Speaker 1>that again. See that's how you just let people talk

0:20:42.280 --> 0:20:44.399
<v Speaker 1>right and they be done said the wrong shit. She

0:20:44.520 --> 0:20:47.760
<v Speaker 1>was like one more time so you could hear yourself.

0:20:47.359 --> 0:20:51.000
<v Speaker 2>Too, right, because all these beautiful black women at this table,

0:20:52.560 --> 0:20:55.600
<v Speaker 2>and first of all, where is the light skin girl?

0:20:55.600 --> 0:20:58.000
<v Speaker 2>Because she who is she?

0:20:59.119 --> 0:21:00.719
<v Speaker 1>What? A licened girl? Please stand up?

0:21:01.359 --> 0:21:03.959
<v Speaker 2>Because she wouldn't even light skinned by my barometer, you know.

0:21:04.040 --> 0:21:10.399
<v Speaker 1>But apparently Flow cells U skin brightening uh creams and

0:21:10.440 --> 0:21:12.680
<v Speaker 1>stuff online as well.

0:21:13.080 --> 0:21:16.280
<v Speaker 2>So I never understood the concepts of that.

0:21:18.440 --> 0:21:21.080
<v Speaker 1>It's just so contradicting, because why the hell, y'all be like,

0:21:21.200 --> 0:21:23.359
<v Speaker 1>black is beautiful, but y'all be.

0:21:23.320 --> 0:21:27.440
<v Speaker 2>Woulting to look yellow, right, I don't understand that.

0:21:28.080 --> 0:21:30.880
<v Speaker 1>I'm confused. And on top of the brightening, on top

0:21:30.920 --> 0:21:33.000
<v Speaker 1>of the makeup, then you add a filter on it too,

0:21:33.040 --> 0:21:36.120
<v Speaker 1>So really, do you really believe black is beautiful?

0:21:36.160 --> 0:21:36.440
<v Speaker 2>I do?

0:21:37.240 --> 0:21:40.760
<v Speaker 1>I do too, Okay, because old girl don't matter how

0:21:40.840 --> 0:21:44.600
<v Speaker 1>yellow she looks, she ain't She is not fucking with

0:21:47.760 --> 0:21:51.600
<v Speaker 1>Amara Mara Amara face like she's not fucking with that girl.

0:21:51.640 --> 0:21:56.119
<v Speaker 2>Face face eats down. That baby looked like a woman,

0:21:56.160 --> 0:22:03.600
<v Speaker 2>look like a damn Barbie doll, a chock beautiful black Barbie. Absolutely,

0:22:04.640 --> 0:22:09.400
<v Speaker 2>we don't need to be arguing about looks with this one.

0:22:10.280 --> 0:22:12.360
<v Speaker 1>And just because you like skin does not automatically make

0:22:12.400 --> 0:22:15.399
<v Speaker 1>you cute either, you know what I'm saying. So I

0:22:15.480 --> 0:22:20.080
<v Speaker 1>understand like i'd be understanding the plight between both of

0:22:20.080 --> 0:22:21.439
<v Speaker 1>these people. We had an.

0:22:21.320 --> 0:22:25.320
<v Speaker 2>Episode of yeah, being each other friends, we need each

0:22:25.320 --> 0:22:26.880
<v Speaker 2>other ship exactly.

0:22:26.960 --> 0:22:27.320
<v Speaker 1>We got.

0:22:29.520 --> 0:22:32.160
<v Speaker 2>Race, yeah, you know, so.

0:22:32.200 --> 0:22:34.639
<v Speaker 1>Air Kamina chimed in, you know, because she got fired

0:22:34.680 --> 0:22:38.520
<v Speaker 1>from Love and Hip Hop Atlanta essentially when her and

0:22:38.840 --> 0:22:41.439
<v Speaker 1>Spice got into it, and she did she call her

0:22:41.440 --> 0:22:41.919
<v Speaker 1>a monkey?

0:22:43.359 --> 0:22:45.240
<v Speaker 2>I think she did.

0:22:46.119 --> 0:22:48.639
<v Speaker 1>And you know now she's on Zeus network, so she

0:22:48.640 --> 0:22:51.960
<v Speaker 1>took that as an opportunity to you know, advertise for Zeus.

0:22:52.840 --> 0:22:55.639
<v Speaker 1>But she's saying, basically, how the fuck y'all, y'all, this

0:22:55.720 --> 0:22:57.480
<v Speaker 1>is the same shit happened to me. Y'all gonna fire

0:22:57.520 --> 0:23:01.119
<v Speaker 1>her like somebody would coming for me. I said some

0:23:01.160 --> 0:23:04.679
<v Speaker 1>shit in the midst of an argument to win, you know.

0:23:05.680 --> 0:23:08.640
<v Speaker 2>And she does have a point there. I just think

0:23:08.680 --> 0:23:11.280
<v Speaker 2>they don't like you, so any reason to get rid

0:23:11.320 --> 0:23:14.159
<v Speaker 2>of you would have done. That's really what it boils

0:23:14.160 --> 0:23:14.480
<v Speaker 2>down to.

0:23:15.240 --> 0:23:18.160
<v Speaker 1>But she said she recorded, I think I don't think

0:23:18.160 --> 0:23:21.080
<v Speaker 1>that's what it was. She was saying, how she you know,

0:23:21.240 --> 0:23:24.640
<v Speaker 1>worked months after that. It wasn't until that episode hit

0:23:25.560 --> 0:23:27.440
<v Speaker 1>online like it hit the public.

0:23:27.800 --> 0:23:29.680
<v Speaker 2>So the public outrages what got her.

0:23:30.000 --> 0:23:32.760
<v Speaker 1>The public outrages what got her fired the people. The

0:23:32.800 --> 0:23:33.760
<v Speaker 1>people canceled her.

0:23:34.720 --> 0:23:39.680
<v Speaker 2>Yo, I'm sorry, my voice, everybody sick, everybody going through it, Okay,

0:23:39.720 --> 0:23:40.720
<v Speaker 2>So I apologize.

0:23:40.760 --> 0:23:42.160
<v Speaker 1>We both drinking tea.

0:23:42.760 --> 0:23:50.439
<v Speaker 2>Yes, like the neurovirus, upper respiratory invections. What else is

0:23:50.520 --> 0:23:54.359
<v Speaker 2>going around? Good gosh, I had all of them.

0:23:54.440 --> 0:23:56.679
<v Speaker 1>And that's another reason why I stay my ass to

0:23:56.720 --> 0:23:59.160
<v Speaker 1>fucking the house. But I have a significant other who

0:23:59.240 --> 0:24:02.440
<v Speaker 1>was very social, So now I gotta get sick every

0:24:02.480 --> 0:24:04.400
<v Speaker 1>time this nigga come in here with some bullshit because

0:24:04.400 --> 0:24:04.840
<v Speaker 1>you don't.

0:24:04.640 --> 0:24:08.760
<v Speaker 2>Know you might as well you hear me.

0:24:08.800 --> 0:24:11.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I got to talk for a living, Like

0:24:11.920 --> 0:24:16.040
<v Speaker 1>I can't be getting sick. Yeah, that is very inconsiderate.

0:24:17.200 --> 0:24:19.159
<v Speaker 1>Like why I'm telling his girl, ass man, come me

0:24:19.240 --> 0:24:21.240
<v Speaker 1>your fucking mouth. He's just in here hacking up, and

0:24:21.280 --> 0:24:24.240
<v Speaker 1>now not even twenty four hours later, by the time

0:24:24.280 --> 0:24:25.400
<v Speaker 1>I wake up, I'm sick.

0:24:26.440 --> 0:24:28.560
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I call her the other day She's like hello,

0:24:29.200 --> 0:24:30.320
<v Speaker 2>I was like, damn.

0:24:34.119 --> 0:24:37.080
<v Speaker 1>Okay. So when we come back from break, y'all. I

0:24:37.119 --> 0:24:39.200
<v Speaker 1>don't know if y'all saw this clip of doctor Umar.

0:24:39.280 --> 0:24:42.359
<v Speaker 1>He was on a podcast called Bittersweet I think it was,

0:24:43.240 --> 0:24:46.000
<v Speaker 1>and there's a couple of clips from that podcast on

0:24:46.040 --> 0:24:47.040
<v Speaker 1>social media right now.

0:24:47.119 --> 0:24:47.280
<v Speaker 2>Now.

0:24:47.280 --> 0:24:49.639
<v Speaker 1>I did attempt to watch the full episode give that

0:24:49.680 --> 0:24:52.000
<v Speaker 1>Girl of You, but I didn't get through it because

0:24:52.000 --> 0:24:56.080
<v Speaker 1>somebody call my phone. But I want to talk about

0:24:56.160 --> 0:24:59.800
<v Speaker 1>some of the things that doctor Umar has been singingly,

0:25:00.240 --> 0:25:03.320
<v Speaker 1>and it kind of ties into, you know, with Cam

0:25:03.359 --> 0:25:07.159
<v Speaker 1>Newton expressed on this new show he's on.

0:25:07.560 --> 0:25:13.240
<v Speaker 2>So we'll be back let's get into it.

0:25:15.720 --> 0:25:26.119
<v Speaker 1>Okay, y'all. So we're back, and so doctor Umar says that, well, okay,

0:25:26.160 --> 0:25:30.080
<v Speaker 1>on this on this podcast, the girl asked her him

0:25:30.119 --> 0:25:32.560
<v Speaker 1>about like it was wasn't even an ask. It was

0:25:32.600 --> 0:25:36.879
<v Speaker 1>a conversation about dating women, you know, black women. And

0:25:36.920 --> 0:25:41.440
<v Speaker 1>this is somebody in Australia. Now near he's on this podcast.

0:25:41.440 --> 0:25:45.960
<v Speaker 1>It shows in Australian but as a black woman African,

0:25:47.680 --> 0:25:53.000
<v Speaker 1>so he's even there. They're talking about dating and black

0:25:53.040 --> 0:25:56.040
<v Speaker 1>women not being able to find uh suitable maids and

0:25:56.080 --> 0:25:59.800
<v Speaker 1>partners blah blah blah blah blah blah. So Doctor Umar

0:26:00.280 --> 0:26:04.560
<v Speaker 1>upon himself to say that, you know, black women are

0:26:04.840 --> 0:26:10.720
<v Speaker 1>overly concerned about how much money a man makes, and

0:26:10.800 --> 0:26:14.760
<v Speaker 1>we cannot and should not expect for a black man

0:26:15.720 --> 0:26:18.200
<v Speaker 1>to have the means and be able to take care

0:26:18.240 --> 0:26:25.520
<v Speaker 1>of us like white men do their wives, right, how

0:26:25.520 --> 0:26:28.199
<v Speaker 1>they do their white women. And I just found it

0:26:28.280 --> 0:26:31.000
<v Speaker 1>kind of offensive a little bit, right, because why is

0:26:31.040 --> 0:26:33.280
<v Speaker 1>it that black women are the only group of people

0:26:33.359 --> 0:26:38.600
<v Speaker 1>who cannot ask for more? Right? I think when black

0:26:38.640 --> 0:26:41.000
<v Speaker 1>men in particular goal to these other groups of people,

0:26:41.080 --> 0:26:44.520
<v Speaker 1>they know they got to come with more, but they

0:26:44.520 --> 0:26:50.480
<v Speaker 1>while with us, they expect us to struggle with them.

0:26:49.200 --> 0:26:50.680
<v Speaker 2>And we do. That's the crazy part.

0:26:52.160 --> 0:26:54.200
<v Speaker 1>That's why I want to talk about it exactly. We

0:26:54.280 --> 0:26:54.960
<v Speaker 1>fucking do.

0:26:55.960 --> 0:27:02.639
<v Speaker 2>Right, this narrative that black women are just after finances,

0:27:03.080 --> 0:27:04.960
<v Speaker 2>We be in the trenches with these men.

0:27:04.960 --> 0:27:09.760
<v Speaker 1>All the time. Yeah, okay all the time. So it's

0:27:09.840 --> 0:27:15.280
<v Speaker 1>just and then where's your fucking wife, doctor, Umar, where's

0:27:15.359 --> 0:27:19.080
<v Speaker 1>your black wife? Where's your black woman? While you're out

0:27:19.080 --> 0:27:22.200
<v Speaker 1>here telling black men and women how the relationship?

0:27:22.680 --> 0:27:29.200
<v Speaker 2>Because who is he dating? Is he dating anyone? Because

0:27:30.600 --> 0:27:33.280
<v Speaker 2>I mean he does have a lot of advice for

0:27:33.400 --> 0:27:37.000
<v Speaker 2>black women, and I just don't see him ever with

0:27:37.080 --> 0:27:43.000
<v Speaker 2>the one or any woman for that matter, Like have

0:27:43.119 --> 0:27:44.120
<v Speaker 2>we seen him?

0:27:44.520 --> 0:27:47.000
<v Speaker 1>We know, I think he got I think he got

0:27:47.040 --> 0:27:51.080
<v Speaker 1>like three kids with a turn. If you got him,

0:27:51.200 --> 0:27:53.399
<v Speaker 1>where the women? Do you like him?

0:27:53.680 --> 0:27:55.560
<v Speaker 2>Or are you creating broken homes?

0:27:58.160 --> 0:27:58.959
<v Speaker 1>I'm confused.

0:27:59.000 --> 0:28:02.639
<v Speaker 2>Somebody, somebody help me understand what's going on here.

0:28:03.240 --> 0:28:13.040
<v Speaker 1>But here's the thing. Black men are way more hypergamous

0:28:13.320 --> 0:28:20.719
<v Speaker 1>than black women, meaning black men date the fuck up, okay,

0:28:22.200 --> 0:28:25.200
<v Speaker 1>And if they're not dating up, you're a stepping stool

0:28:25.640 --> 0:28:29.560
<v Speaker 1>until they get the women that they actually think they deserve.

0:28:31.119 --> 0:28:35.800
<v Speaker 2>So when you say men date up, it's not in

0:28:35.920 --> 0:28:38.840
<v Speaker 2>terms of finance. Is this in terms of beauty? Often

0:28:39.040 --> 0:28:43.560
<v Speaker 2>like are what they deem beauty like, they'll be with

0:28:43.600 --> 0:28:48.120
<v Speaker 2>the average looking around the way chick like that'll be

0:28:48.120 --> 0:28:50.920
<v Speaker 2>their first baby mama. And then when they get money,

0:28:51.800 --> 0:28:56.360
<v Speaker 2>it might be some exotic looking or more glamorous looking,

0:28:56.600 --> 0:29:02.000
<v Speaker 2>or more fit or more something that's esthetically pleasing to

0:29:02.440 --> 0:29:05.600
<v Speaker 2>the eye. Perhaps when you say, is that what you mean.

0:29:05.560 --> 0:29:09.920
<v Speaker 1>By no, I'm talking about straight up finances. I'm talking

0:29:09.960 --> 0:29:15.960
<v Speaker 1>about finances. Black men date up when you see a

0:29:15.960 --> 0:29:18.280
<v Speaker 1>black Okay, So this is this had been an ongoing

0:29:18.400 --> 0:29:22.400
<v Speaker 1>argument with me and this nigga, right because, and I

0:29:22.440 --> 0:29:24.800
<v Speaker 1>mean for years. This is an argument because he would

0:29:25.120 --> 0:29:29.920
<v Speaker 1>make comments like black women only date white men for

0:29:29.960 --> 0:29:33.000
<v Speaker 1>a come up, and I'm like, that's a lie. Usually

0:29:33.040 --> 0:29:35.720
<v Speaker 1>when a black woman dates a black dates a white

0:29:35.760 --> 0:29:38.800
<v Speaker 1>man date she actually likes white people, white men. Excuse me,

0:29:39.240 --> 0:29:42.560
<v Speaker 1>chause he likes the white people, white men. She prefers

0:29:42.560 --> 0:29:46.920
<v Speaker 1>white men, right, And she's also well established. A lot

0:29:47.040 --> 0:29:51.959
<v Speaker 1>of the time, they're highly educated, great jobs, you know,

0:29:52.200 --> 0:29:55.240
<v Speaker 1>deep in their professions in their careers, and they go

0:29:55.360 --> 0:29:58.160
<v Speaker 1>get a white guy, right because that's what they want. Right.

0:29:59.120 --> 0:30:01.600
<v Speaker 1>When a black man dates a white woman, it's usually

0:30:01.640 --> 0:30:07.120
<v Speaker 1>for a come up so he can reposition himself so

0:30:07.160 --> 0:30:09.520
<v Speaker 1>he can have more access that it's not the same

0:30:09.600 --> 0:30:10.640
<v Speaker 1>when black women do it.

0:30:11.360 --> 0:30:12.000
<v Speaker 2>I agree.

0:30:12.680 --> 0:30:15.440
<v Speaker 1>So that's what I mean by when doctor Lumar says

0:30:15.480 --> 0:30:19.480
<v Speaker 1>that black women have this expectation from black men. I

0:30:19.520 --> 0:30:22.240
<v Speaker 1>feel like black men have an expectation from black women

0:30:23.000 --> 0:30:25.280
<v Speaker 1>that they don't have from other groups of women.

0:30:27.200 --> 0:30:28.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, they ask us.

0:30:28.640 --> 0:30:32.320
<v Speaker 1>What we bring it to the table and somebody else

0:30:32.360 --> 0:30:36.680
<v Speaker 1>can just come sit down, because that they go after

0:30:36.760 --> 0:30:40.040
<v Speaker 1>something different once they arrive, once they get their finances

0:30:40.080 --> 0:30:42.800
<v Speaker 1>in order, A lot of times they go after something different.

0:30:42.800 --> 0:30:45.080
<v Speaker 1>It may not be a white woman right right, but

0:30:45.120 --> 0:30:50.400
<v Speaker 1>it's not always an afrocentric black woman. That's what I'm saying.

0:30:51.520 --> 0:30:56.640
<v Speaker 1>So why are we expected right to not at least

0:30:56.640 --> 0:30:58.200
<v Speaker 1>have a man, Like I said when we were talking

0:30:58.200 --> 0:31:00.400
<v Speaker 1>about Cam Newton, at least have a man and who's

0:31:00.440 --> 0:31:05.280
<v Speaker 1>aspiring to take care of I'm not asking you to

0:31:05.320 --> 0:31:09.320
<v Speaker 1>have everything today. We know women have potential. We be

0:31:09.400 --> 0:31:11.040
<v Speaker 1>fucking with niggas because of potential a.

0:31:11.040 --> 0:31:14.640
<v Speaker 2>Lot, right, but in our all right, So here's me

0:31:14.680 --> 0:31:20.880
<v Speaker 2>playing devil's advocate all the time. Right now, Black women

0:31:21.200 --> 0:31:24.080
<v Speaker 2>make more money and are more educated than black men.

0:31:25.080 --> 0:31:30.080
<v Speaker 2>So with that, knowing that statistic, all of us ain't

0:31:30.120 --> 0:31:32.520
<v Speaker 2>gonna be able to get a man who's making as

0:31:32.560 --> 0:31:34.840
<v Speaker 2>much as us because they don't exist.

0:31:35.360 --> 0:31:38.080
<v Speaker 1>Black women are also more in debt than black men,

0:31:38.120 --> 0:31:41.120
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, you're making more money, but that education costs

0:31:41.120 --> 0:31:44.200
<v Speaker 1>you one hundred two hundred thousand dollars you coming to

0:31:44.280 --> 0:31:46.840
<v Speaker 1>the table, we're more debt, so it kind of evens out.

0:31:47.040 --> 0:31:52.160
<v Speaker 2>Actually, But if you're saying, oh, I only make it,

0:31:52.200 --> 0:31:57.160
<v Speaker 2>look I only want today a man who is equally

0:31:57.240 --> 0:32:01.720
<v Speaker 2>yoked when it comes to financing as me, making as

0:32:01.760 --> 0:32:05.200
<v Speaker 2>much as me, some of us gonna miss out because

0:32:05.760 --> 0:32:08.800
<v Speaker 2>there's just not enough black men to make that happen.

0:32:09.760 --> 0:32:13.000
<v Speaker 2>So what do we do do we day outside of

0:32:13.040 --> 0:32:16.920
<v Speaker 2>our race? Do we decide to just be alone? Do

0:32:17.040 --> 0:32:19.160
<v Speaker 2>we you know, are we date down?

0:32:19.720 --> 0:32:23.680
<v Speaker 1>No? Those are I can't the men come up, right,

0:32:23.800 --> 0:32:26.200
<v Speaker 1>you don't have to work for somebody. Most black women

0:32:26.320 --> 0:32:30.360
<v Speaker 1>are working corporate jobs. You know, they get their educations. No, they,

0:32:30.440 --> 0:32:32.680
<v Speaker 1>like a lot of black women do have businesses they've

0:32:32.680 --> 0:32:35.640
<v Speaker 1>created as well. Right, But a lot of my like

0:32:35.800 --> 0:32:39.360
<v Speaker 1>guy friends, like these niggas own businesses. They don't have

0:32:39.400 --> 0:32:41.400
<v Speaker 1>a degree, you know what I'm saying. It might have

0:32:41.400 --> 0:32:43.320
<v Speaker 1>been in a military at some point, something like that.

0:32:43.640 --> 0:32:48.600
<v Speaker 1>But they created the riches, they created their wealth. Right,

0:32:48.680 --> 0:32:52.080
<v Speaker 1>you can do that, I think. I think the problem

0:32:52.120 --> 0:32:54.240
<v Speaker 1>is is that why are we acting? Why are we

0:32:54.320 --> 0:32:57.520
<v Speaker 1>being asked to step down as opposed to the men

0:32:57.680 --> 0:33:02.920
<v Speaker 1>actually elevated elevator? Because I feel like if every woman

0:33:03.440 --> 0:33:05.800
<v Speaker 1>required a man to have a house, a car, and

0:33:05.840 --> 0:33:10.120
<v Speaker 1>a job, every man would have a house, a car,

0:33:10.160 --> 0:33:13.920
<v Speaker 1>and a job. But because there are some women that

0:33:13.960 --> 0:33:16.200
<v Speaker 1>would allow a man to come sleep on their couch

0:33:16.560 --> 0:33:19.800
<v Speaker 1>and their house, some men feel like they don't have

0:33:19.880 --> 0:33:21.160
<v Speaker 1>to get to it.

0:33:21.760 --> 0:33:24.680
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but can we love a man until he gets

0:33:24.720 --> 0:33:26.760
<v Speaker 2>a house, a car and a job. Do we need

0:33:26.800 --> 0:33:29.800
<v Speaker 2>to already he needs to already come with that? I'm

0:33:29.800 --> 0:33:33.520
<v Speaker 2>just thinking about our twenties, no, so so all right,

0:33:33.600 --> 0:33:37.080
<v Speaker 2>I'm thinking about remember the movie with Taraji.

0:33:36.560 --> 0:33:41.200
<v Speaker 1>P Hensen Oh Acrimony.

0:33:40.800 --> 0:33:45.680
<v Speaker 2>Acrimony, and how the woman he ended up marrying pretty

0:33:45.760 --> 0:33:48.360
<v Speaker 2>much took him in and he was in a low place.

0:33:48.360 --> 0:33:50.560
<v Speaker 2>He ain't have no money. He just had an idea

0:33:51.280 --> 0:33:52.720
<v Speaker 2>that was brilliant, you know, But.

0:33:52.800 --> 0:33:55.840
<v Speaker 1>How many years was Taraji with him with the idea

0:33:55.960 --> 0:33:59.400
<v Speaker 1>this woman reaped the benefits when he finally arrived. Do

0:33:59.440 --> 0:34:00.000
<v Speaker 1>you see what I'm say?

0:34:00.080 --> 0:34:04.040
<v Speaker 2>No, No, he didn't arrive, He arrived with her. She

0:34:04.040 --> 0:34:06.200
<v Speaker 2>she got him out the trenches. He was working in

0:34:06.240 --> 0:34:09.480
<v Speaker 2>the kitchen at a restaurant washing dishes.

0:34:11.120 --> 0:34:14.040
<v Speaker 1>You watch that movie. Yeah, he put up Taraji p

0:34:14.120 --> 0:34:18.680
<v Speaker 1>Henson Mama house for that, for that, for that his creation.

0:34:19.239 --> 0:34:21.799
<v Speaker 1>The girl worked at the firm that he was trying

0:34:21.800 --> 0:34:24.760
<v Speaker 1>to get his foot into. That's how he was able.

0:34:24.960 --> 0:34:27.960
<v Speaker 1>She she basically got him in the door. Now, Taraji

0:34:28.000 --> 0:34:31.960
<v Speaker 1>Pinson wasn't in this woman's position to actually get him

0:34:32.400 --> 0:34:35.360
<v Speaker 1>in that door. She happened to work at the place

0:34:36.760 --> 0:34:37.359
<v Speaker 1>right right.

0:34:37.400 --> 0:34:41.359
<v Speaker 2>But what I'm saying is she didn't get him from

0:34:41.520 --> 0:34:44.480
<v Speaker 2>He wasn't already glowed up when she snatched him up.

0:34:45.560 --> 0:34:46.200
<v Speaker 2>He was down.

0:34:46.880 --> 0:34:48.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, But I think I don't know if that's a

0:34:48.960 --> 0:34:54.040
<v Speaker 1>good example, because Taraji p Henson lost her mind literally

0:34:54.840 --> 0:34:59.879
<v Speaker 1>she did, staying with him through the thick mm hmm.

0:35:00.840 --> 0:35:03.680
<v Speaker 1>She literally lost her fucking mind, and some other woman

0:35:03.760 --> 0:35:07.160
<v Speaker 1>gets to benefit, you know, and you know this is

0:35:07.200 --> 0:35:10.360
<v Speaker 1>why they So, this is why you could be in

0:35:10.400 --> 0:35:13.480
<v Speaker 1>a situation with somebody where either this person want to

0:35:13.520 --> 0:35:15.360
<v Speaker 1>be moving mountains with you or they gonna be the

0:35:15.360 --> 0:35:18.319
<v Speaker 1>mountain you gotta move mm hmm. So it could be

0:35:18.320 --> 0:35:21.600
<v Speaker 1>the energy from the other person why you're not advancing

0:35:22.080 --> 0:35:24.800
<v Speaker 1>and get into where you need to be at. It's

0:35:24.840 --> 0:35:26.920
<v Speaker 1>a lot of men and women situations like that, just

0:35:26.960 --> 0:35:30.359
<v Speaker 1>with the wrong partner and they're holding on to this thing,

0:35:30.400 --> 0:35:32.719
<v Speaker 1>and maybe that relationship is what they actually got to

0:35:32.760 --> 0:35:34.120
<v Speaker 1>let go of to get to the.

0:35:34.120 --> 0:35:38.120
<v Speaker 2>Next to elevate. Yep, I agree, But.

0:35:38.120 --> 0:35:42.200
<v Speaker 1>How long was she supposed to cater to his thing?

0:35:42.440 --> 0:35:42.799
<v Speaker 2>How long?

0:35:43.120 --> 0:35:47.280
<v Speaker 1>How long do we struggle in the relationship? And why

0:35:47.320 --> 0:35:48.640
<v Speaker 1>do we have to struggle?

0:35:51.400 --> 0:35:54.680
<v Speaker 2>That's what doctor Umar said, because the black man doesn't

0:35:54.760 --> 0:35:57.919
<v Speaker 2>have the privilege that the white man has, So that's

0:35:57.920 --> 0:36:02.000
<v Speaker 2>why you have to struggle with them. Listen. I don't

0:36:02.080 --> 0:36:04.800
<v Speaker 2>I don't, I don't. I don't subscribe to the idea

0:36:04.800 --> 0:36:07.680
<v Speaker 2>of struggle. I don't want to struggle in any stretch

0:36:07.719 --> 0:36:10.719
<v Speaker 2>of the imagination. But I'm willing to.

0:36:12.440 --> 0:36:18.400
<v Speaker 1>Like we do with I just don't like because we

0:36:18.520 --> 0:36:21.640
<v Speaker 1>do it, we do it, we do we do Yeah.

0:36:21.840 --> 0:36:24.640
<v Speaker 1>So it's just like where do all where are all

0:36:24.640 --> 0:36:27.719
<v Speaker 1>these men with all this money that black women just

0:36:27.719 --> 0:36:30.400
<v Speaker 1>not fucking with? I mean with no money. I mean, like,

0:36:30.480 --> 0:36:35.880
<v Speaker 1>where are where are all these men? Bitch is pregnant? Yeah, there,

0:36:36.120 --> 0:36:39.920
<v Speaker 1>it's more. It's more black people period. Black men and

0:36:40.000 --> 0:36:43.840
<v Speaker 1>women that don't have nothing, no money, right, living paycheck

0:36:43.880 --> 0:36:45.960
<v Speaker 1>to paycheck. They be doing it together.

0:36:46.440 --> 0:36:47.520
<v Speaker 2>Mm hmm I agree.

0:36:47.640 --> 0:36:49.880
<v Speaker 1>So what I think the group of people that these

0:36:49.920 --> 0:36:52.480
<v Speaker 1>men get on podcasts and who they're talking about are

0:36:52.480 --> 0:36:55.640
<v Speaker 1>the women who are now choosing to be single and

0:36:55.680 --> 0:37:00.120
<v Speaker 1>they have standards, right, Those are the women that men

0:37:00.400 --> 0:37:02.319
<v Speaker 1>have a problem with, right, because a lot of those

0:37:02.320 --> 0:37:05.959
<v Speaker 1>women are getting comfortable being by themselves. Right.

0:37:06.080 --> 0:37:08.239
<v Speaker 2>I ain't comfortable. I'm gonna let y'all know, right.

0:37:08.360 --> 0:37:12.200
<v Speaker 1>Be comfortable for real by myself because I'm a relationship person, right,

0:37:13.160 --> 0:37:16.520
<v Speaker 1>kind of like a hybrid kinda like I said, I

0:37:16.600 --> 0:37:18.160
<v Speaker 1>want to be single in a relationship.

0:37:18.600 --> 0:37:20.680
<v Speaker 2>I remember I came home from work and I was

0:37:20.719 --> 0:37:23.719
<v Speaker 2>living in this high rise. Everything was beautiful, and I

0:37:23.760 --> 0:37:26.239
<v Speaker 2>put my little factor meal in the microwave and I

0:37:26.280 --> 0:37:29.280
<v Speaker 2>sat down on the couch at my little uh TV

0:37:29.840 --> 0:37:33.120
<v Speaker 2>TV tray and I was like, this is not what

0:37:33.280 --> 0:37:40.640
<v Speaker 2>God intended me eating this motherfucking factor meal by myself

0:37:40.680 --> 0:37:45.480
<v Speaker 2>in this house. This is not how it's supposed to be,

0:37:45.520 --> 0:37:46.200
<v Speaker 2>and I know the.

0:37:46.239 --> 0:37:48.759
<v Speaker 1>Life is based on double occupancy. Y'all can tell what

0:37:48.840 --> 0:37:52.480
<v Speaker 1>these damn bills Okay, yeah, the price of cost.

0:37:52.680 --> 0:37:56.200
<v Speaker 2>In the same breath, I'm not willing to just lay

0:37:56.239 --> 0:37:59.879
<v Speaker 2>my standards down by the riverside just to have somebody right,

0:38:00.239 --> 0:38:03.480
<v Speaker 2>I'll be alone until I meet someone that but it's

0:38:03.480 --> 0:38:07.359
<v Speaker 2>just so it. I don't know how it's become so difficult,

0:38:07.760 --> 0:38:15.520
<v Speaker 2>you know. I think social media plays a role because

0:38:15.520 --> 0:38:19.360
<v Speaker 2>we have access to too many people exactly, you know,

0:38:19.680 --> 0:38:22.799
<v Speaker 2>I think that plays a huge role. The DMS is

0:38:22.840 --> 0:38:26.040
<v Speaker 2>never it's endless. It's endless niggas in there which make

0:38:26.120 --> 0:38:28.200
<v Speaker 2>you not kind of want to it. I don't like

0:38:28.239 --> 0:38:33.240
<v Speaker 2>because it, oh don't nobody's lie harder than somebody else. Husband,

0:38:33.320 --> 0:38:40.120
<v Speaker 2>and the damn slipping and sliding boy, get yeah that.

0:38:40.239 --> 0:38:42.200
<v Speaker 1>I really don't want us to be girls girls because

0:38:42.280 --> 0:38:42.799
<v Speaker 1>y'all be in.

0:38:42.719 --> 0:38:47.200
<v Speaker 2>Trouble, right, It benefits me nothing, So I don't even

0:38:47.280 --> 0:38:50.520
<v Speaker 2>like entertain But then my husband might be right sitting

0:38:50.520 --> 0:38:52.600
<v Speaker 2>in that DM wait on me to respond, you know,

0:38:53.640 --> 0:38:56.600
<v Speaker 2>because where else I'm gonna meet him at we talk back,

0:38:56.680 --> 0:38:59.200
<v Speaker 2>ain't not. But it's a bunch of bitches. It's a

0:38:59.239 --> 0:39:04.320
<v Speaker 2>bunch of us. Or then I work in the industry

0:39:04.320 --> 0:39:07.880
<v Speaker 2>where it's nothing but women and gay men, so I

0:39:07.920 --> 0:39:10.440
<v Speaker 2>don't I'm not even in environments where I get to

0:39:10.480 --> 0:39:13.239
<v Speaker 2>meet men. So then now I get to I got

0:39:13.239 --> 0:39:16.759
<v Speaker 2>to either use social media and I just want to

0:39:16.760 --> 0:39:21.319
<v Speaker 2>talk about this real quick. I downloaded this app called Luxy.

0:39:21.440 --> 0:39:23.040
<v Speaker 2>It's a dating app. It's supposed to be like an

0:39:23.120 --> 0:39:25.719
<v Speaker 2>upscale dating app. And the motherfucker's trying to charge me

0:39:25.800 --> 0:39:28.839
<v Speaker 2>five hundred dollars. I don't want no man that bad.

0:39:29.520 --> 0:39:32.360
<v Speaker 2>You're buying a Yeah, I don't want no nigga for

0:39:32.400 --> 0:39:38.600
<v Speaker 2>five hundred dollars match Maker, not when the DMS that's free.

0:39:38.640 --> 0:39:41.520
<v Speaker 2>It's the same ship. You know. What's what makes it

0:39:41.560 --> 0:39:42.200
<v Speaker 2>any different?

0:39:42.320 --> 0:39:44.000
<v Speaker 1>So is it white men on Luxy or the any

0:39:44.000 --> 0:39:44.719
<v Speaker 1>black men on there?

0:39:45.440 --> 0:39:49.439
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's different, like all kinds of men white, black, uh,

0:39:50.400 --> 0:39:51.560
<v Speaker 2>Middle Eastern all.

0:39:51.880 --> 0:39:54.960
<v Speaker 1>I guess that's the investment, right to so you can

0:39:55.080 --> 0:40:02.040
<v Speaker 1>find somebody who is to you got five hundreds exactly,

0:40:02.719 --> 0:40:05.200
<v Speaker 1>that's the fee you gotta pay to let people know

0:40:05.440 --> 0:40:08.960
<v Speaker 1>like this is real, Like you gotta that's an investment.

0:40:09.560 --> 0:40:11.200
<v Speaker 2>I went. I reached out to one of those like

0:40:11.440 --> 0:40:14.239
<v Speaker 2>million dollar match maker companies that I saw, like I

0:40:14.239 --> 0:40:18.480
<v Speaker 2>think it was on like Housewives of Atlanta or something.

0:40:18.520 --> 0:40:20.279
<v Speaker 2>I saw it on and I reached out to them

0:40:20.320 --> 0:40:21.920
<v Speaker 2>and I got an interview and they liked me and

0:40:21.920 --> 0:40:24.080
<v Speaker 2>all that stuff, and they was like, oh, yeah, we

0:40:24.120 --> 0:40:27.960
<v Speaker 2>definitely can pair you with somebody. You seem like a

0:40:28.000 --> 0:40:31.320
<v Speaker 2>great option, you know, candidate for the type of minute

0:40:31.360 --> 0:40:33.879
<v Speaker 2>we have here. She's like, we're just going to need

0:40:33.960 --> 0:40:38.719
<v Speaker 2>you to invest ten thousand dollars as it. Excuse me,

0:40:38.760 --> 0:40:44.560
<v Speaker 2>say what ten thousand? I'm not paying five hundred. I'm

0:40:44.560 --> 0:40:47.080
<v Speaker 2>definitely not paying ten thousand dollars. Like, we just want

0:40:47.120 --> 0:40:50.400
<v Speaker 2>to make sure that this is something that you want.

0:40:51.120 --> 0:40:53.360
<v Speaker 2>They want to make sure that you're not just looking

0:40:53.360 --> 0:40:55.600
<v Speaker 2>for a man with money to come take care of you.

0:40:55.640 --> 0:40:58.640
<v Speaker 2>I'm assuming because you got ten thousand of your own

0:40:58.719 --> 0:41:03.720
<v Speaker 2>to invest into. And they was like, we'll keep sending

0:41:03.719 --> 0:41:06.640
<v Speaker 2>you on dates until we find your husband forever. Once

0:41:06.680 --> 0:41:10.319
<v Speaker 2>she paid this ten grand, I was like, Rachel, I'm

0:41:10.320 --> 0:41:11.720
<v Speaker 2>gonna call you back in about thirty minutes.

0:41:11.840 --> 0:41:17.759
<v Speaker 1>Isle as a portion of it.

0:41:17.800 --> 0:41:21.799
<v Speaker 2>Refundable, No, it's not refundable. This is the feed to

0:41:21.920 --> 0:41:27.920
<v Speaker 2>be a million dollar matched in stacks. So if y'all

0:41:27.960 --> 0:41:31.160
<v Speaker 2>got ten grand. Y'all better if y'all have ten grand

0:41:31.200 --> 0:41:35.640
<v Speaker 2>that you're willing to invest in. You know, being paired

0:41:36.520 --> 0:41:40.480
<v Speaker 2>and you're someone who really cares about finances in a

0:41:40.520 --> 0:41:42.560
<v Speaker 2>relationship and you want a man who has a lot

0:41:42.640 --> 0:41:45.799
<v Speaker 2>of money, that is an option for you, you know,

0:41:46.040 --> 0:41:49.200
<v Speaker 2>throw ten thousand dollars at it. I'm not willing to

0:41:49.239 --> 0:41:51.560
<v Speaker 2>take ten thousand of my money to invest in that

0:41:51.640 --> 0:41:54.720
<v Speaker 2>because I just feel like I can the best romance

0:41:54.760 --> 0:41:59.440
<v Speaker 2>for me will happen organically. You know, I'm not paying

0:41:59.440 --> 0:42:03.799
<v Speaker 2>five hundred that I'm trying to see here?

0:42:04.880 --> 0:42:08.480
<v Speaker 1>How does that? How does that correlate to what we're

0:42:08.520 --> 0:42:12.480
<v Speaker 1>talking about? Because it's something there with that, Right, So

0:42:13.120 --> 0:42:16.799
<v Speaker 1>the woman has to have some means in order to

0:42:16.840 --> 0:42:21.360
<v Speaker 1>get a man with money, right, right, And that's a

0:42:21.520 --> 0:42:26.040
<v Speaker 1>I think that's another part that some women don't consider.

0:42:26.360 --> 0:42:26.560
<v Speaker 2>Right.

0:42:26.719 --> 0:42:30.799
<v Speaker 1>You want, you want a certain type of man, and

0:42:30.800 --> 0:42:33.719
<v Speaker 1>that if he's not a rapper or a street nigga, like,

0:42:34.360 --> 0:42:37.799
<v Speaker 1>you have to present a certain way too. You got

0:42:37.840 --> 0:42:40.239
<v Speaker 1>people who be in these these there's a lot of

0:42:40.280 --> 0:42:44.160
<v Speaker 1>affluent black families, right, and they be real cut throat,

0:42:44.200 --> 0:42:47.560
<v Speaker 1>like they're not just letting anybody into their circle, Like,

0:42:47.640 --> 0:42:50.120
<v Speaker 1>who's this outside bitch? Because you could have married one

0:42:50.120 --> 0:42:52.839
<v Speaker 1>of these other bitches that we in Debutante and all

0:42:52.880 --> 0:42:58.200
<v Speaker 1>this shit I can't exactly a member of exactly. It's

0:42:58.200 --> 0:43:01.880
<v Speaker 1>a mean girl. Shit goes on. So who are you

0:43:02.520 --> 0:43:04.880
<v Speaker 1>some random ass bitch and where you come from?

0:43:05.640 --> 0:43:06.640
<v Speaker 2>Right? Yeah?

0:43:06.719 --> 0:43:10.120
<v Speaker 1>Like shit, get real, so are you even are you

0:43:10.239 --> 0:43:11.440
<v Speaker 1>even that breed?

0:43:12.840 --> 0:43:13.000
<v Speaker 2>Right?

0:43:13.200 --> 0:43:15.600
<v Speaker 1>Do you do? You have what it takes to even

0:43:15.640 --> 0:43:18.640
<v Speaker 1>keep up with that lifestyle once you get that man

0:43:22.360 --> 0:43:25.520
<v Speaker 1>in the upper echelon? Like, how can you maintain.

0:43:27.200 --> 0:43:30.800
<v Speaker 2>That man? Can you maintain that man and that family

0:43:31.520 --> 0:43:32.520
<v Speaker 2>that comes with that man?

0:43:32.760 --> 0:43:34.439
<v Speaker 1>Hold on, Tom, let's stay some bills.

0:43:38.920 --> 0:43:41.239
<v Speaker 2>Because do you feel like when you marry a man,

0:43:41.280 --> 0:43:42.200
<v Speaker 2>you marry the family.

0:43:43.760 --> 0:43:45.360
<v Speaker 1>I used to feel like that, and I feel like

0:43:45.400 --> 0:43:48.800
<v Speaker 1>it is important to have a good rapport with whoever

0:43:48.840 --> 0:43:51.960
<v Speaker 1>you went with their family. But at this big age,

0:43:52.040 --> 0:43:57.800
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, fuck your sister, fuck them. People ain't coming.

0:43:58.360 --> 0:44:02.720
<v Speaker 1>I ain't going really well luckily.

0:44:03.600 --> 0:44:07.400
<v Speaker 2>I just always aspire to like really lock in with

0:44:07.480 --> 0:44:09.600
<v Speaker 2>my my partner's family.

0:44:11.239 --> 0:44:13.960
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I've done it in some situations and others I

0:44:14.080 --> 0:44:14.839
<v Speaker 1>don't give a fuck.

0:44:15.520 --> 0:44:20.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I come from a very small like I don't

0:44:20.160 --> 0:44:22.680
<v Speaker 2>have like a huge family, so it would be important

0:44:22.719 --> 0:44:27.880
<v Speaker 2>for me to have a healthy relationship with my partners family.

0:44:28.200 --> 0:44:33.719
<v Speaker 2>I've always like prioritized that where even after we break up,

0:44:33.760 --> 0:44:35.399
<v Speaker 2>the mom would still be like, I want to hook

0:44:35.440 --> 0:44:39.799
<v Speaker 2>you up with my doctor, you know, like I prioritize that.

0:44:40.080 --> 0:44:43.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, most most of the time, like mamas love me,

0:44:43.520 --> 0:44:45.360
<v Speaker 1>you know what I'm saying. Sisters hook me up with

0:44:45.400 --> 0:44:48.040
<v Speaker 1>their brothers, and you know what, I definitely then happens

0:44:48.040 --> 0:44:51.319
<v Speaker 1>over time, like they get some I think, I don't

0:44:51.320 --> 0:44:53.480
<v Speaker 1>know if they're not. Like I always be saying, if

0:44:53.520 --> 0:44:56.120
<v Speaker 1>the mom, I don't really like niggas with mamas, but

0:44:56.160 --> 0:44:58.600
<v Speaker 1>if you have one, I just need her to be

0:44:58.680 --> 0:45:00.680
<v Speaker 1>in a healthy relationship. I need your sister being in

0:45:00.680 --> 0:45:04.440
<v Speaker 1>a healthy relationship and she's not interfering with our relationship.

0:45:05.760 --> 0:45:11.399
<v Speaker 2>Like my my my high school boyfriend, his family did

0:45:11.440 --> 0:45:14.319
<v Speaker 2>not his sister and mom did not think I was

0:45:14.360 --> 0:45:17.399
<v Speaker 2>good enough for him. But that's because I was from

0:45:17.400 --> 0:45:22.120
<v Speaker 2>the hood and they were like upper class wax in Columbia,

0:45:22.520 --> 0:45:27.920
<v Speaker 2>you know, good well. And it was so crazy because

0:45:28.600 --> 0:45:31.799
<v Speaker 2>I was definitely like an honorall student. I was in

0:45:31.920 --> 0:45:34.600
<v Speaker 2>all the clubs. I was like highest ranking in ROTC.

0:45:34.840 --> 0:45:36.120
<v Speaker 2>I was an exchange student.

0:45:36.640 --> 0:45:36.840
<v Speaker 1>You know.

0:45:36.960 --> 0:45:39.960
<v Speaker 2>I was just very a cheerleader. I did it all

0:45:40.440 --> 0:45:42.640
<v Speaker 2>and I but I just was from the hood, you know,

0:45:43.239 --> 0:45:46.840
<v Speaker 2>I didn't I was a good girl, you know, but

0:45:46.960 --> 0:45:50.560
<v Speaker 2>they just did not like me for any I mean,

0:45:50.880 --> 0:45:57.279
<v Speaker 2>who export fast forward, we got kids with Listen, I

0:45:57.280 --> 0:45:59.200
<v Speaker 2>ain't gonna put all the business out like that, but

0:45:59.239 --> 0:45:59.680
<v Speaker 2>I'll just.

0:45:59.640 --> 0:46:01.200
<v Speaker 1>Say who y'all was playing with?

0:46:01.840 --> 0:46:04.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, who y'all was playing with? Period.

0:46:04.640 --> 0:46:07.320
<v Speaker 1>That's why. That's what That's a part of my reason

0:46:07.360 --> 0:46:13.120
<v Speaker 1>for not like imagine imagine it being the opposite. Though

0:46:14.560 --> 0:46:17.360
<v Speaker 1>I ain't from the hood like both of my parents,

0:46:17.560 --> 0:46:19.160
<v Speaker 1>like they from the hood of the Hood of the

0:46:19.160 --> 0:46:21.839
<v Speaker 1>Hoods and Charlston, but they the niggas that made it right.

0:46:22.239 --> 0:46:24.440
<v Speaker 1>So I all my sisters have lived in the projects

0:46:24.480 --> 0:46:26.920
<v Speaker 1>and they was kids, but I never experienced that. My

0:46:26.960 --> 0:46:29.800
<v Speaker 1>mom is still liveing in the same house that she

0:46:29.960 --> 0:46:33.279
<v Speaker 1>bought that they bought her, my husband, my dad bought

0:46:33.880 --> 0:46:36.799
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, a month or two before I was born, right,

0:46:36.880 --> 0:46:40.960
<v Speaker 1>So that's that's stability, right. But imagine being with somebody

0:46:41.000 --> 0:46:45.520
<v Speaker 1>who motherfucking people don't look like where they come from,

0:46:45.600 --> 0:46:50.120
<v Speaker 1>but bit you from the hood and you treating me indifferent? Yeah,

0:46:50.160 --> 0:46:52.080
<v Speaker 1>because she got all the things, like you know, she

0:46:52.080 --> 0:46:53.640
<v Speaker 1>got a little Louis bag and all that. You living

0:46:53.640 --> 0:46:56.880
<v Speaker 1>in a house that's damn there, dilapidated and treating me

0:46:57.880 --> 0:47:02.000
<v Speaker 1>some type of way. Imagine that Treating like I'm not

0:47:02.080 --> 0:47:03.080
<v Speaker 1>good enough for your brother.

0:47:03.120 --> 0:47:05.400
<v Speaker 2>This was oh for their brother.

0:47:05.719 --> 0:47:09.120
<v Speaker 1>Yes, treating me like I'm the one that's not good enough.

0:47:10.360 --> 0:47:15.520
<v Speaker 2>That's crazy. But but being from the hood does not

0:47:15.600 --> 0:47:17.040
<v Speaker 2>make you not good exactly.

0:47:17.080 --> 0:47:19.400
<v Speaker 1>It's it's all this stuff is a state of mind,

0:47:19.600 --> 0:47:21.759
<v Speaker 1>you know what I'm saying, Like country is a state

0:47:21.800 --> 0:47:24.600
<v Speaker 1>of mind. Hood is a state of mind. You don't

0:47:24.680 --> 0:47:27.439
<v Speaker 1>have to look like where you're from, right, you don't

0:47:27.440 --> 0:47:29.640
<v Speaker 1>have to be like where you're from.

0:47:29.719 --> 0:47:30.640
<v Speaker 2>Right, I agree?

0:47:31.239 --> 0:47:32.840
<v Speaker 1>And that's but that's what I was talking about with

0:47:32.880 --> 0:47:36.160
<v Speaker 1>these mean girl groups, Like these people live this way.

0:47:36.200 --> 0:47:38.680
<v Speaker 1>They whole lies. So even if you were the hood

0:47:38.760 --> 0:47:41.279
<v Speaker 1>chick that made it, they will still be looking at

0:47:41.320 --> 0:47:45.000
<v Speaker 1>you like an outsider, like you're not You're not like us.

0:47:44.920 --> 0:47:49.279
<v Speaker 2>Right, it is. It is a class system, you know

0:47:49.360 --> 0:47:56.600
<v Speaker 2>that happens within our culture. But does that does that

0:47:56.680 --> 0:48:01.560
<v Speaker 2>mean like, because all right, honestly, I've met some men

0:48:01.600 --> 0:48:05.360
<v Speaker 2>that were like really really nice and successful and really

0:48:05.440 --> 0:48:08.400
<v Speaker 2>liked me, but they were just too stuffy.

0:48:10.840 --> 0:48:13.120
<v Speaker 1>I need, like I need to I need to do

0:48:13.160 --> 0:48:14.960
<v Speaker 1>it me neither, like I need to be able to

0:48:15.000 --> 0:48:17.920
<v Speaker 1>be myself because I can be like that, right, but

0:48:17.960 --> 0:48:21.960
<v Speaker 1>I can also I'm like renaissance woman. I can do

0:48:22.000 --> 0:48:22.640
<v Speaker 1>all the things.

0:48:22.880 --> 0:48:24.680
<v Speaker 2>That's why I feel like you could take me anywhere

0:48:24.719 --> 0:48:26.560
<v Speaker 2>from the White House to the our House and I can,

0:48:27.120 --> 0:48:31.240
<v Speaker 2>you know, maneuver, maneuver. But I don't need someone who's

0:48:31.320 --> 0:48:42.160
<v Speaker 2>just so stuffy like you laught like an englishman, get

0:48:42.200 --> 0:48:46.439
<v Speaker 2>out the face. Yeah, I can't do stuffy. It needs

0:48:46.480 --> 0:48:50.600
<v Speaker 2>to be balanced for me. So but maybe I need

0:48:50.640 --> 0:48:54.560
<v Speaker 2>to not be so you know, maybe I need to

0:48:54.600 --> 0:48:57.360
<v Speaker 2>relax that. Maybe I don't like I'm asking him to,

0:48:57.800 --> 0:49:00.759
<v Speaker 2>you know, people to accept me with my I you know,

0:49:01.000 --> 0:49:03.800
<v Speaker 2>upbringing and the things that I've experienced and I can't.

0:49:04.200 --> 0:49:06.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm saying, Oh, I can't date a STUFFI ass nigga.

0:49:06.640 --> 0:49:08.720
<v Speaker 2>Maybe I need to date me a STUFFI ass nigga.

0:49:10.080 --> 0:49:14.520
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. I don't know. I think that I

0:49:14.640 --> 0:49:17.719
<v Speaker 1>just balance is always good. I don't like anybody. That's

0:49:17.800 --> 0:49:20.600
<v Speaker 1>just just one way, you know what I'm saying. I

0:49:20.640 --> 0:49:25.200
<v Speaker 1>have a friend who is like raising the hood, single

0:49:25.239 --> 0:49:29.640
<v Speaker 1>mama that made. Those are generally the type of men

0:49:29.680 --> 0:49:33.080
<v Speaker 1>that I like. I like niggas that maiden, I like

0:49:33.200 --> 0:49:36.280
<v Speaker 1>men who they just did. Just the character is just different,

0:49:36.800 --> 0:49:37.399
<v Speaker 1>and it's just.

0:49:37.360 --> 0:49:45.680
<v Speaker 2>Something about a person who uh no struggle that Yeah,

0:49:45.960 --> 0:49:47.920
<v Speaker 2>I think, I don't know. Sometimes I feel like they

0:49:47.920 --> 0:49:56.280
<v Speaker 2>have a greater appreciation for things and wealth and relationships

0:49:56.360 --> 0:50:00.400
<v Speaker 2>and I don't know, they just mo. Yeah, someone who's

0:50:00.600 --> 0:50:03.160
<v Speaker 2>you know, had everything provided and give it to them

0:50:03.200 --> 0:50:06.680
<v Speaker 2>their whole life. No, I could, you know what. I

0:50:06.719 --> 0:50:09.760
<v Speaker 2>don't want to discredit them, because everybody's bottom is different,

0:50:09.800 --> 0:50:13.319
<v Speaker 2>you know, So I don't want to like say that

0:50:13.400 --> 0:50:16.960
<v Speaker 2>about people who've been provided everything. But it is a difference.

0:50:17.239 --> 0:50:21.719
<v Speaker 2>There is a difference in gratitude perhaps.

0:50:22.080 --> 0:50:25.440
<v Speaker 1>And see I even my I was not in my

0:50:25.760 --> 0:50:29.120
<v Speaker 1>in my house and my upbringing, we were not provided everything.

0:50:29.200 --> 0:50:31.839
<v Speaker 1>We were provided what we needed and we never went

0:50:31.880 --> 0:50:37.960
<v Speaker 1>without things, right, So just real life middle class for real.

0:50:38.080 --> 0:50:39.279
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:50:39.640 --> 0:50:42.920
<v Speaker 1>But I mean, like I would see people who was

0:50:42.920 --> 0:50:45.520
<v Speaker 1>in the hood, they had all the New Jordan's I'm

0:50:45.560 --> 0:50:48.760
<v Speaker 1>always not. I had the basic ass fucking nikes, basic,

0:50:48.840 --> 0:50:50.799
<v Speaker 1>all the basic shit, like, so the things that I

0:50:50.840 --> 0:50:52.759
<v Speaker 1>buy now. Is because I was a proud of those

0:50:52.800 --> 0:50:56.319
<v Speaker 1>things as a kid a mama, but we always had

0:50:56.320 --> 0:50:59.239
<v Speaker 1>a house, So her priorities were different because she was

0:50:59.280 --> 0:51:03.879
<v Speaker 1>also a single with three fucking kids, working all day

0:51:03.920 --> 0:51:07.239
<v Speaker 1>long like a lot of other people moms. But the

0:51:07.280 --> 0:51:11.120
<v Speaker 1>priorities and what was important was just different, right, So

0:51:11.200 --> 0:51:13.719
<v Speaker 1>people will I have dated a nigga who judged me

0:51:15.200 --> 0:51:18.000
<v Speaker 1>I would wear like wool coats. This nigga was like,

0:51:18.040 --> 0:51:21.000
<v Speaker 1>you got that Manhattan jacket on? Like, what, this is

0:51:21.080 --> 0:51:25.360
<v Speaker 1>a nice colt? I wanted to buy me thye of

0:51:25.400 --> 0:51:28.759
<v Speaker 1>those timberlands, those thigh high timberlands that came out. I

0:51:28.880 --> 0:51:30.759
<v Speaker 1>was like, your baby mama might like them. I don't

0:51:30.840 --> 0:51:34.560
<v Speaker 1>like those, Like that's bit. No, they weren't.

0:51:34.640 --> 0:51:41.440
<v Speaker 2>You're talking about the knee high Uh. Yes, they had

0:51:41.440 --> 0:51:43.400
<v Speaker 2>a good run. When they came out. They was cute.

0:51:43.640 --> 0:51:46.160
<v Speaker 2>You had no I didn't.

0:51:45.920 --> 0:51:48.200
<v Speaker 1>Have that exactly, you ain't. But they was cute for them.

0:51:48.360 --> 0:51:53.040
<v Speaker 1>It was not cute for me. I like, it weren't cute.

0:51:53.120 --> 0:51:57.040
<v Speaker 2>I'm not saying what about the Manola blons.

0:51:57.280 --> 0:51:58.960
<v Speaker 1>But then when they came out with all the knockoffs,

0:51:59.000 --> 0:52:00.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm like it's over with.

0:52:01.239 --> 0:52:04.560
<v Speaker 2>Everybody came out with. That's just like the shark boots.

0:52:05.280 --> 0:52:08.200
<v Speaker 1>It's over it. I still like them, shark boots, fucking

0:52:08.280 --> 0:52:11.920
<v Speaker 1>knee high ones. Yeah, the kids those are nice.

0:52:13.160 --> 0:52:15.839
<v Speaker 2>I like them too, but I don't say they over

0:52:16.160 --> 0:52:17.520
<v Speaker 2>so I guess people can't worry them.

0:52:17.880 --> 0:52:22.360
<v Speaker 1>And now the same man right has strived. Right, he

0:52:22.960 --> 0:52:26.680
<v Speaker 1>bought his kids at home. They don't know his struggle.

0:52:27.360 --> 0:52:27.759
<v Speaker 2>Mm hmm.

0:52:28.040 --> 0:52:31.760
<v Speaker 1>So basically you was hating on your kids because I

0:52:31.840 --> 0:52:37.040
<v Speaker 1>would I represent your children. Basically, my parents tried to

0:52:37.040 --> 0:52:38.560
<v Speaker 1>do all the things so that I didn't have to

0:52:38.560 --> 0:52:41.239
<v Speaker 1>grow up how they did. He did all the things,

0:52:41.239 --> 0:52:43.080
<v Speaker 1>so his children have to grow up like he did.

0:52:43.400 --> 0:52:46.080
<v Speaker 1>But while dating me, you trying to make me feel

0:52:46.120 --> 0:52:48.880
<v Speaker 1>bad because my bottom was different from yours.

0:52:49.200 --> 0:52:56.000
<v Speaker 2>Right, I still got struggle and uncarmedy children like kids,

0:52:56.080 --> 0:52:58.000
<v Speaker 2>be like, oh you got daddy had.

0:52:58.760 --> 0:53:01.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm talking about grown people though, we in our fucking

0:53:01.560 --> 0:53:05.200
<v Speaker 1>twenties thirties, like, and you coming at me because I

0:53:05.239 --> 0:53:10.560
<v Speaker 1>have a different upbringing. Yeah, why are you dating me?

0:53:11.160 --> 0:53:11.960
<v Speaker 1>Why are you dating up?

0:53:12.040 --> 0:53:12.320
<v Speaker 2>Nigga?

0:53:13.680 --> 0:53:17.799
<v Speaker 1>Stay where you say that? The fuck? That's what I'm

0:53:17.800 --> 0:53:20.920
<v Speaker 1>talking about. Men are her pergamus. Okay, they're gonna date

0:53:21.040 --> 0:53:24.320
<v Speaker 1>up and I met that nigga in a gas station, okay,

0:53:24.360 --> 0:53:28.640
<v Speaker 1>working mopping the floor and a gas station. But when

0:53:28.680 --> 0:53:30.680
<v Speaker 1>I once I spoke to him, once I talked, this

0:53:30.760 --> 0:53:34.000
<v Speaker 1>is a nigga now who's doing very well in life. Okay,

0:53:34.560 --> 0:53:37.520
<v Speaker 1>I saw his potential. Then he was mopping the gas

0:53:37.520 --> 0:53:40.640
<v Speaker 1>station floor by uh at this gas station where by

0:53:40.640 --> 0:53:44.080
<v Speaker 1>where my apartment was at in Columbia, South Carolina, and

0:53:45.040 --> 0:53:48.520
<v Speaker 1>he was working there only to get enough gas money

0:53:48.520 --> 0:53:51.720
<v Speaker 1>to get to Orangeburg. Fazi's a mechanics.

0:53:51.280 --> 0:53:56.480
<v Speaker 2>Schooling me and brother. Okay, that's right, that's what I'm

0:53:56.520 --> 0:53:59.120
<v Speaker 2>talking about. So why can't you catch a man there?

0:53:59.280 --> 0:54:01.600
<v Speaker 2>You know what I'm saying, You can catch a man

0:54:01.719 --> 0:54:03.200
<v Speaker 2>there at that point, That's.

0:54:03.040 --> 0:54:06.200
<v Speaker 1>What Umar was saying, Like black women don't catch men

0:54:06.280 --> 0:54:09.919
<v Speaker 1>in progress. That's a lie. We be in progress with

0:54:10.520 --> 0:54:14.640
<v Speaker 1>black men all the time. Yeah, I agree, But when

0:54:14.640 --> 0:54:18.200
<v Speaker 1>a man hasn't arrived at his final destination, they are

0:54:18.239 --> 0:54:23.840
<v Speaker 1>oftentimes disgruntled and mad and upset, and it takes time

0:54:23.920 --> 0:54:26.279
<v Speaker 1>for them to be comfortable with their situation. Because really,

0:54:26.280 --> 0:54:28.000
<v Speaker 1>guess what, nigga, you should not be.

0:54:28.040 --> 0:54:31.680
<v Speaker 2>Comfortable, right, But you don't have to be mean though,

0:54:33.640 --> 0:54:34.239
<v Speaker 2>that's the thing.

0:54:34.640 --> 0:54:35.359
<v Speaker 1>But they don't have nothing.

0:54:35.440 --> 0:54:37.840
<v Speaker 2>Neither one of us are comfortable. Neither one of us

0:54:37.880 --> 0:54:41.520
<v Speaker 2>are comfortable right now, but only one of us is nice. Listen,

0:54:41.760 --> 0:54:45.560
<v Speaker 2>my ex bodriend. I used to come home from work

0:54:45.560 --> 0:54:47.319
<v Speaker 2>and I'd be like, hey, He's like, why the fuck

0:54:47.360 --> 0:54:48.640
<v Speaker 2>you so happy all the time?

0:54:48.920 --> 0:54:51.640
<v Speaker 1>Leave him? The minute the nigga says some shit like that,

0:54:51.880 --> 0:54:52.799
<v Speaker 1>leave him.

0:54:53.560 --> 0:54:55.560
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I'm just happy to see I'll never

0:54:55.600 --> 0:54:57.840
<v Speaker 2>forget this. He was like, why the fuck you happy

0:54:57.920 --> 0:55:00.000
<v Speaker 2>so much all the time. I was like, I'm just happy,

0:55:00.000 --> 0:55:02.080
<v Speaker 2>need to see you. He's like, you went to work

0:55:02.120 --> 0:55:04.160
<v Speaker 2>for eight hours, you see me eight hours ago.

0:55:07.719 --> 0:55:10.160
<v Speaker 1>But imagine if you came home this is why people

0:55:10.239 --> 0:55:14.160
<v Speaker 1>like abuse. Imagine if you came home with his attitude

0:55:14.200 --> 0:55:19.920
<v Speaker 1>every day, he would be loving and your draws people.

0:55:19.640 --> 0:55:25.320
<v Speaker 2>That's crazy. What the fuck is so happy about? Like?

0:55:26.200 --> 0:55:28.720
<v Speaker 1>Girl a minute and nigga act like that? Too many times?

0:55:28.719 --> 0:55:31.520
<v Speaker 1>Did you say too many? Little Get the fuck up

0:55:31.520 --> 0:55:31.960
<v Speaker 1>out of there.

0:55:32.360 --> 0:55:34.479
<v Speaker 2>It was time to go. It got to the point

0:55:34.480 --> 0:55:36.399
<v Speaker 2>where I would come home from work and just sit

0:55:36.440 --> 0:55:38.919
<v Speaker 2>in the car for a little while because I knew

0:55:38.920 --> 0:55:41.439
<v Speaker 2>I was gonna come into some energy that wasn't the same.

0:55:41.520 --> 0:55:44.359
<v Speaker 2>It was gonna shift my spirit, you know, like y'all

0:55:44.400 --> 0:55:46.719
<v Speaker 2>had a good day. I'm happy. I come in and

0:55:46.760 --> 0:55:50.880
<v Speaker 2>I need to tone down my happiness to match the vibes.

0:55:51.280 --> 0:55:55.560
<v Speaker 1>And see I can't. I'm learning to thrive in any situation,

0:55:55.719 --> 0:55:59.040
<v Speaker 1>but toxicity that should be crumbling me a little bit.

0:55:59.080 --> 0:56:03.040
<v Speaker 1>Dog my last relationship. You know how the men be like, oh,

0:56:03.160 --> 0:56:04.960
<v Speaker 1>and I've said this before. They want peace, they want

0:56:05.000 --> 0:56:08.120
<v Speaker 1>piece piece piece. All men are not fucking peaceful. That's

0:56:08.120 --> 0:56:09.560
<v Speaker 1>how it would be when that nigga would walk in

0:56:09.600 --> 0:56:13.280
<v Speaker 1>the house. It it would be a dark cloud over

0:56:13.440 --> 0:56:16.400
<v Speaker 1>anybody that's in there. Soon as you could be so

0:56:16.560 --> 0:56:18.799
<v Speaker 1>happy the sun was shining in that motherfucking bit. As

0:56:18.800 --> 0:56:21.800
<v Speaker 1>soon as that keep going, that lock dark cloud.

0:56:22.440 --> 0:56:27.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you got to go. And if you are listening

0:56:27.120 --> 0:56:30.160
<v Speaker 2>to this and you are living in a space where

0:56:30.680 --> 0:56:34.919
<v Speaker 2>your man come in and it's darkness, brothers, baby, start

0:56:34.960 --> 0:56:36.840
<v Speaker 2>getting your exit strategy together there.

0:56:37.560 --> 0:56:39.080
<v Speaker 1>To live, get the fuck up out of there.

0:56:39.360 --> 0:56:42.399
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Yeah, men and women, if you come if your

0:56:42.520 --> 0:56:44.600
<v Speaker 2>woman come home and you listen to this and every

0:56:44.600 --> 0:56:46.960
<v Speaker 2>time she come home, it's darkness.

0:56:47.520 --> 0:56:49.600
<v Speaker 1>Gons, it's a rainbow on the other side.

0:56:50.040 --> 0:56:51.799
<v Speaker 2>You know, I ain't gonna say just get out of there.

0:56:51.920 --> 0:56:54.640
<v Speaker 2>Maybe try to navigate why is dark and fix that.

0:56:55.040 --> 0:56:57.279
<v Speaker 2>But if you can't navigate why is dark and can't

0:56:57.280 --> 0:56:59.799
<v Speaker 2>fix it, baby, life is too short to be sitting

0:56:59.800 --> 0:57:03.920
<v Speaker 2>in the rain cloud all the time. If anybody asking you,

0:57:03.960 --> 0:57:05.360
<v Speaker 2>why are you happy every time?

0:57:08.320 --> 0:57:10.600
<v Speaker 1>What you have to smile for? We got bills due, like,

0:57:10.719 --> 0:57:12.560
<v Speaker 1>I'm happy to pay them. I'm happy to be able

0:57:12.560 --> 0:57:16.560
<v Speaker 1>to pay my bills. To find gratitude, man, and all

0:57:16.600 --> 0:57:20.280
<v Speaker 1>the things right the fuck like, that's how you get

0:57:20.400 --> 0:57:28.160
<v Speaker 1>more gratitude. That's it anyway, Fuck you, doctor Lumar. He

0:57:28.240 --> 0:57:31.520
<v Speaker 1>also said about Yeah. He also says some about the

0:57:31.560 --> 0:57:34.160
<v Speaker 1>snow bunnies versus black women and how the black women,

0:57:34.280 --> 0:57:36.680
<v Speaker 1>black men and black women Like I just said that

0:57:36.800 --> 0:57:39.240
<v Speaker 1>black women will catch I mean white women, the snow

0:57:39.240 --> 0:57:42.959
<v Speaker 1>bunnies will catch men in progress? Right, black women ain't

0:57:43.000 --> 0:57:46.200
<v Speaker 1>doing that. That is not fucking treating me. And the

0:57:46.280 --> 0:57:48.560
<v Speaker 1>thing what y'all until y'all get to where y'all going

0:57:48.600 --> 0:57:52.000
<v Speaker 1>and then somehow you don't want us no more. That

0:57:52.120 --> 0:57:55.280
<v Speaker 1>happens a lot. So why should we keep putting our

0:57:55.640 --> 0:57:59.840
<v Speaker 1>fucking life on the line? When do we choose us? Yeah?

0:58:00.200 --> 0:58:02.560
<v Speaker 1>This is why men, this is why the podcasts are

0:58:02.600 --> 0:58:06.400
<v Speaker 1>in such uproar because black women have started to choose themselves.

0:58:07.000 --> 0:58:09.880
<v Speaker 1>And even if choosing yourself looks like you being by yourself,

0:58:09.880 --> 0:58:13.600
<v Speaker 1>these niggas is fucking mad. How dare you? You're the

0:58:13.640 --> 0:58:17.760
<v Speaker 1>one thing that we should always have control of and

0:58:17.880 --> 0:58:22.440
<v Speaker 1>care But once we realize we the fucking gods? Okay,

0:58:23.000 --> 0:58:23.960
<v Speaker 1>because God is.

0:58:24.600 --> 0:58:26.800
<v Speaker 2>But I just don't want the narrative to change so

0:58:26.880 --> 0:58:29.760
<v Speaker 2>we can start pairing. Like there needs to be like

0:58:29.800 --> 0:58:32.520
<v Speaker 2>a major paradigm shift so we can start.

0:58:32.680 --> 0:58:34.400
<v Speaker 1>I think it's happening. It's just some of these some

0:58:34.480 --> 0:58:37.360
<v Speaker 1>of these people, black men and women will just have

0:58:37.400 --> 0:58:40.160
<v Speaker 1>to be thrown to the wayside. The niggas gotta get

0:58:40.160 --> 0:58:42.440
<v Speaker 1>thrown to the wayside, and then we just gotta deal

0:58:42.440 --> 0:58:47.600
<v Speaker 1>with black people. Yeah, I'm sorry, it's just different. It's different.

0:58:48.080 --> 0:58:50.120
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I don't know. I don't know because

0:58:50.160 --> 0:58:54.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm just looking at, you know, the youth and some

0:58:54.320 --> 0:58:58.840
<v Speaker 2>of the behavior and some of the it's scary, you know,

0:58:58.920 --> 0:59:03.680
<v Speaker 2>it's scary. It seems very divisive, you know, the young

0:59:04.120 --> 0:59:05.200
<v Speaker 2>the young people, are.

0:59:06.720 --> 0:59:07.240
<v Speaker 1>They smarter?

0:59:08.680 --> 0:59:15.680
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? I just need to know why is y'all ass out?

0:59:16.200 --> 0:59:18.280
<v Speaker 2>Why are not wearing them skirts? With their ass out.

0:59:18.320 --> 0:59:22.320
<v Speaker 2>I don't come in my DMS and tell me why

0:59:22.520 --> 0:59:24.960
<v Speaker 2>when did that? Like, how did that become?

0:59:25.040 --> 0:59:27.520
<v Speaker 1>Girl? Bitch has been wearing their ass. You forget about

0:59:27.520 --> 0:59:30.920
<v Speaker 1>freakneek and everything else. The Coucie cutters, like that's been

0:59:30.920 --> 0:59:31.160
<v Speaker 1>the thing.

0:59:31.480 --> 0:59:33.880
<v Speaker 2>No, I'm talking about these little skirts with the whole

0:59:33.880 --> 0:59:35.120
<v Speaker 2>booty hanging out the back.

0:59:36.040 --> 0:59:37.200
<v Speaker 1>Oh, like the Gothic ship.

0:59:37.960 --> 0:59:40.560
<v Speaker 2>It's like a little lamp shade, just like a little

0:59:40.600 --> 0:59:43.120
<v Speaker 2>lamp shade over as. They don't cover the ass up

0:59:43.160 --> 0:59:43.520
<v Speaker 2>at all.

0:59:45.240 --> 0:59:47.760
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I don't know, but I mean it's no different

0:59:47.760 --> 0:59:54.000
<v Speaker 1>from the Kuccie cutters. People ask what is literally hanging out?

0:59:54.040 --> 0:59:56.080
<v Speaker 2>I had Kouchie cutters back in the day, but they

0:59:56.280 --> 0:59:59.280
<v Speaker 2>was not as little as these pasts come now. I'm

0:59:59.320 --> 1:00:02.080
<v Speaker 2>sorry they were short, but there was not this short

1:00:02.320 --> 1:00:03.080
<v Speaker 2>Cuccie cutters.

1:00:03.080 --> 1:00:05.880
<v Speaker 1>You ain't having Cuccie cutters in because Kuccie cutters literally

1:00:06.200 --> 1:00:08.600
<v Speaker 1>you got the kucie. You can see it in the

1:00:08.640 --> 1:00:11.520
<v Speaker 1>front and then you could see that ass hanging it

1:00:11.560 --> 1:00:12.200
<v Speaker 1>from the bottom.

1:00:12.960 --> 1:00:15.280
<v Speaker 2>Oh no, I didn't. My mama wouldn't allow that.

1:00:15.600 --> 1:00:17.480
<v Speaker 1>You aboub have had some shorts with a little fringe

1:00:17.520 --> 1:00:18.400
<v Speaker 1>on it. They might have been.

1:00:19.880 --> 1:00:21.760
<v Speaker 2>We would cut off our jeans. We cut up old

1:00:21.840 --> 1:00:25.920
<v Speaker 2>jeans and then like cut little like little lines and

1:00:25.960 --> 1:00:28.240
<v Speaker 2>then wash it and dry so it'd be like freely

1:00:28.280 --> 1:00:28.840
<v Speaker 2>at the bottom.

1:00:29.240 --> 1:00:31.600
<v Speaker 1>And see that even a little frilly thing that covered

1:00:31.600 --> 1:00:33.640
<v Speaker 1>the booty a little bit at the bottom. But you

1:00:33.680 --> 1:00:36.720
<v Speaker 1>have they just really walk around with the ass out

1:00:36.760 --> 1:00:39.480
<v Speaker 1>and at the top. When low Rides came out, remember

1:00:39.960 --> 1:00:41.520
<v Speaker 1>Loki low rise jeans.

1:00:42.480 --> 1:00:44.960
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, and they had their little throng. Yeah, we

1:00:45.040 --> 1:00:47.560
<v Speaker 2>did all I did too. I did that. I definitely

1:00:47.560 --> 1:00:50.960
<v Speaker 2>had a little my little little strip on the side show.

1:00:52.480 --> 1:00:54.240
<v Speaker 1>We did all the things too. I think it's just

1:00:54.320 --> 1:00:57.240
<v Speaker 1>we're just older now and looking at the things and

1:00:58.760 --> 1:00:59.840
<v Speaker 1>you don't have to do all that.

1:01:01.840 --> 1:01:04.920
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, it just seemed very super suggestive. Now.

1:01:04.920 --> 1:01:09.240
<v Speaker 2>Maybe it is because I'm older, older mm hmmm, because

1:01:09.320 --> 1:01:11.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm so tired of looking at y'all. Motherfucking ass. I

1:01:11.840 --> 1:01:21.560
<v Speaker 2>ain't gonna hold you. It ain't even good bookie. All Right,

1:01:21.640 --> 1:01:25.880
<v Speaker 2>we start y'all beautiful, y'all.

1:01:25.960 --> 1:01:28.480
<v Speaker 1>Valentine's Day coming up, y'all, find y'all some love. Okay,

1:01:28.480 --> 1:01:31.480
<v Speaker 1>if y'all ain't get nobody during cuffing season, uh, you

1:01:31.520 --> 1:01:34.120
<v Speaker 1>still got some time. You got some time to get

1:01:34.120 --> 1:01:37.800
<v Speaker 1>a little little Valentine. Niggas hate Valentine. Nigga, don't wan't

1:01:37.800 --> 1:01:39.320
<v Speaker 1>give no gift by ship.

1:01:39.320 --> 1:01:44.480
<v Speaker 2>Like that's not true. Niggas to be lacking Valentine's.

1:01:43.840 --> 1:01:47.240
<v Speaker 1>They get your niggasun for Valentine's. If you got a man,

1:01:47.320 --> 1:01:48.960
<v Speaker 1>get your man. I've been trying to find out, like

1:01:49.040 --> 1:01:53.520
<v Speaker 1>figure out what I'm gonna get mine for Valentine's Day.

1:01:53.880 --> 1:01:56.840
<v Speaker 2>I got a good idea for y'all, for y'all Valentine's

1:01:56.880 --> 1:01:59.080
<v Speaker 2>Day for a nigga, this is thoughtful. Y'all heard it

1:01:59.120 --> 1:02:03.200
<v Speaker 2>here tam Ban, share this with y'all. Make go buy

1:02:03.240 --> 1:02:08.120
<v Speaker 2>a photo album. Put a picture like from when y'all

1:02:08.160 --> 1:02:11.000
<v Speaker 2>first started kicking it, however long that is. Put that

1:02:11.080 --> 1:02:14.720
<v Speaker 2>in the front. And then the next page put like

1:02:16.000 --> 1:02:21.280
<v Speaker 2>a gift card. It says, Oh, you look so good

1:02:21.280 --> 1:02:23.200
<v Speaker 2>with a fresh cut. Here's a cut to pay for

1:02:23.240 --> 1:02:25.040
<v Speaker 2>the bar Here's some money to pay for a barber.

1:02:25.440 --> 1:02:28.200
<v Speaker 2>VI's a gift card for sixty dollars. The next page

1:02:28.280 --> 1:02:31.680
<v Speaker 2>is like, don't ever walk out of my life, and

1:02:31.720 --> 1:02:33.440
<v Speaker 2>it'll be a gift card to like a where he

1:02:33.480 --> 1:02:38.480
<v Speaker 2>gets his sneakers from. And then uh, pull up on

1:02:38.520 --> 1:02:40.280
<v Speaker 2>me on the next page and it'll be a gas

1:02:40.280 --> 1:02:43.960
<v Speaker 2>gift card. Then on the next page it'll be like

1:02:45.160 --> 1:02:47.600
<v Speaker 2>I want it when I can't cook for you, but

1:02:47.640 --> 1:02:49.440
<v Speaker 2>I want you to be fed, and it'll be a

1:02:49.480 --> 1:02:53.120
<v Speaker 2>gift card to his favorite restaurant. And then the next page,

1:02:54.320 --> 1:02:56.440
<v Speaker 2>this is just some cash because I like tricking on you,

1:02:56.720 --> 1:02:59.680
<v Speaker 2>and it just be cashing that slot. Just and then

1:02:59.760 --> 1:03:02.440
<v Speaker 2>just the of all the things that your man pays

1:03:02.480 --> 1:03:06.120
<v Speaker 2>for for himself, and create a slot where you help

1:03:06.200 --> 1:03:09.200
<v Speaker 2>participate in that and put a cute little caption over it,

1:03:10.080 --> 1:03:14.280
<v Speaker 2>and yeah, had a photo album. That'll be a cute

1:03:14.320 --> 1:03:14.840
<v Speaker 2>little gift.

1:03:15.360 --> 1:03:17.760
<v Speaker 1>Then make sure your your gift that he's to gift

1:03:17.800 --> 1:03:21.400
<v Speaker 1>you totals up the amount of money that you said.

1:03:23.080 --> 1:03:23.840
<v Speaker 2>Don't worry about.

1:03:23.840 --> 1:03:30.080
<v Speaker 1>That don't worry about was like trying to give the

1:03:30.080 --> 1:03:31.560
<v Speaker 1>same amount of money. That mean I might as well

1:03:31.640 --> 1:03:32.400
<v Speaker 1>buy my own ship.

1:03:32.680 --> 1:03:35.000
<v Speaker 2>You buy a ship. That's why you should not think

1:03:35.000 --> 1:03:35.360
<v Speaker 2>about that.

1:03:35.360 --> 1:03:36.200
<v Speaker 1>Why are we doing that?

1:03:37.960 --> 1:03:42.920
<v Speaker 2>But just don't let my gift be more right m hm?

1:03:43.520 --> 1:03:48.560
<v Speaker 2>Because practice like over here one Christmas and this nigga,

1:03:48.640 --> 1:03:51.000
<v Speaker 2>we got each other gifts and I bought him like

1:03:52.560 --> 1:03:56.240
<v Speaker 2>two expensive pairs of designer sneakers and he bought me

1:03:56.280 --> 1:03:58.720
<v Speaker 2>this little Gucci wallace. I was like, I know the

1:03:58.920 --> 1:04:06.120
<v Speaker 2>fuck you didn't buy me the look goddamn sticks back right,

1:04:07.240 --> 1:04:10.240
<v Speaker 2>but it is what it is. I'm joking, all right,

1:04:10.280 --> 1:04:13.120
<v Speaker 2>So y'all guess what on Valentine's Day. For our Valentine's

1:04:13.160 --> 1:04:17.760
<v Speaker 2>Day episode by A J. A J wants to do

1:04:17.800 --> 1:04:19.680
<v Speaker 2>this because she thinks it's gonna be fun for y'all

1:04:19.720 --> 1:04:25.560
<v Speaker 2>and her the love of tambaw for the love of

1:04:25.600 --> 1:04:30.840
<v Speaker 2>tam Ban. We're gonna have some gentlemen suitors to shoot.

1:04:30.840 --> 1:04:34.840
<v Speaker 2>They shot because I think it's gonna be fun. Yeah,

1:04:35.360 --> 1:04:37.960
<v Speaker 2>that's what you said. You said, it's gonna be fun,

1:04:38.080 --> 1:04:38.680
<v Speaker 2>I said, for.

1:04:38.680 --> 1:04:44.760
<v Speaker 1>Who's going if we actually, if we do some YouTube ship,

1:04:44.880 --> 1:04:46.360
<v Speaker 1>I mean we can actually have people come.

1:04:47.360 --> 1:04:50.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Wenna have to come. But y'all, I get nervous

1:04:50.760 --> 1:04:58.840
<v Speaker 2>and awkward, so it's gonna be autism. Well, y'all know

1:04:59.240 --> 1:05:03.800
<v Speaker 2>I retarded. Please said, We're not gonna speak that over me.

1:05:03.920 --> 1:05:06.800
<v Speaker 2>I have I retarded, Okay, I just sometimes I get

1:05:06.920 --> 1:05:09.440
<v Speaker 2>social anxiety and I might get a little weird, but

1:05:09.480 --> 1:05:10.200
<v Speaker 2>it's okay.

1:05:10.560 --> 1:05:15.640
<v Speaker 1>Might start rapping, might start freestyling, fucking weird ass and like.

1:05:15.600 --> 1:05:17.720
<v Speaker 2>To stick my hands under my armpits and smell like this.

1:05:23.120 --> 1:05:31.280
<v Speaker 1>He was like, just not cool, Hi yo, man, Okay,

1:05:31.960 --> 1:05:33.960
<v Speaker 1>just do what you want to do, man, love for

1:05:34.120 --> 1:05:36.600
<v Speaker 1>you love. If you're comfortable by yourself, stay there. This

1:05:36.680 --> 1:05:38.920
<v Speaker 1>is my last last. Stay comfortable by yourself. Then I

1:05:39.040 --> 1:05:42.360
<v Speaker 1>listen to these niggas like Umar Johnson man because he

1:05:42.520 --> 1:05:44.080
<v Speaker 1>don't got dance this way.

1:05:45.120 --> 1:05:47.400
<v Speaker 2>He he do drop some gems every now and then,

1:05:47.440 --> 1:05:48.440
<v Speaker 2>but when it comes to.

1:05:48.640 --> 1:05:50.720
<v Speaker 1>It, be skewed when it comes to black women, man.

1:05:51.440 --> 1:05:55.760
<v Speaker 2>Like saying that women aren't into trenches and not we are.

1:05:56.040 --> 1:05:59.040
<v Speaker 2>We are there for each other more than people like

1:05:59.080 --> 1:06:02.040
<v Speaker 2>to give us credit for so continuing to be I

1:06:02.040 --> 1:06:04.480
<v Speaker 2>think it's the light in someone's life and being the

1:06:04.560 --> 1:06:06.280
<v Speaker 2>light for your own self, huh.

1:06:06.320 --> 1:06:09.400
<v Speaker 1>I think it's entitlement. They feel entitled to black women,

1:06:10.600 --> 1:06:13.800
<v Speaker 1>so you don't really respect what you feel like is

1:06:14.120 --> 1:06:19.040
<v Speaker 1>supposed to be given. We're not a given anymore.

1:06:18.680 --> 1:06:22.680
<v Speaker 2>No, we aren't. But we do love them, and I

1:06:22.680 --> 1:06:24.919
<v Speaker 2>believe they love us. We just need to get back

1:06:24.960 --> 1:06:31.320
<v Speaker 2>to a healthy dynamic with each other. Absolutely, all right,

1:06:31.080 --> 1:06:32.800
<v Speaker 2>I gotta go to work.

1:06:32.920 --> 1:06:35.640
<v Speaker 1>If y'all enjoyed this episode, y'all tune in every Thursday

1:06:35.640 --> 1:06:37.960
<v Speaker 1>on the Black Effect iHeartRadio app. And this is our

1:06:37.960 --> 1:06:39.800
<v Speaker 1>first episode of season five.

1:06:40.320 --> 1:06:43.600
<v Speaker 2>Niggas, Yeah, happy season five? Ain't j all right? Five

1:06:43.720 --> 1:06:45.000
<v Speaker 2>years y'all live?

1:06:45.360 --> 1:06:46.720
<v Speaker 1>Okay, it's what we're going into.

1:06:47.720 --> 1:06:50.120
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean coratulations.

1:06:50.480 --> 1:06:52.840
<v Speaker 1>Y'all tune in every Thursday and The Black Effect iHeart Radio,

1:06:52.840 --> 1:06:55.480
<v Speaker 1>Apple Way, but the fuck you get your podcast? This

1:06:55.600 --> 1:06:59.360
<v Speaker 1>your co host a j Holiday two point zero on

1:06:59.680 --> 1:07:03.040
<v Speaker 1>instant grams. Kick a tad oh, y'all, followed Dasha too,

1:07:03.160 --> 1:07:08.600
<v Speaker 1>Dosha mink mink my cat can't Dasha mink mink. D

1:07:08.680 --> 1:07:12.760
<v Speaker 1>a s h a mink mink.

1:07:13.440 --> 1:07:16.200
<v Speaker 2>Y'all, it is official. Tam Bam on Instagram social media.

1:07:16.480 --> 1:07:19.040
<v Speaker 2>I love y'all so much. If nobody loves y'all, Tan

1:07:19.160 --> 1:07:22.880
<v Speaker 2>Bam love y'all, But don't forget to love yourself most

1:07:22.920 --> 1:07:34.080
<v Speaker 2>of all. Remember speak now. I don't know I speak now,

1:07:34.920 --> 1:07:37.960
<v Speaker 2>and be peaceful.

1:07:39.000 --> 1:07:40.000
<v Speaker 1>Never hold your peace.

1:07:43.000 --> 1:07:49.880
<v Speaker 2>No, be peaceful, Speak now and never hold its Yeah.

1:07:50.120 --> 1:07:54.560
<v Speaker 1>For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit the iHeart Radio app,

1:07:54.680 --> 1:07:57.600
<v Speaker 1>Apple Podcasts or whatever. You listen to your favorite shows