Speaker 1: Welcome to We Talk Back Podcast, the production of iHeartRadio
Speaker 1: and the Black Effect Network Talk.
Speaker 2: We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion. Who
Speaker 2: talks back.
Speaker 1: What's up y'all? Is your girl a j holiday? What's up?
Speaker 2: Tandem? Hey girl, Hey y'all. I love y'all.
Speaker 1: We back, Chad. How was your weekend?
Speaker 2: How was my weekend? Damn bitch, I don't even remember
Speaker 2: the weekend. It was just you ain't do shit. I
Speaker 2: think I went to work and later around and that's it.
Speaker 1: Talks about, right, what did you do? Renig on? Everybody
Speaker 1: all fucking weekend, even up until yesterday.
Speaker 2: It was cold.
Speaker 1: I know, Like, why y'all want to be outside? I'm confused.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I ain't with that. I don't like that, coach.
Speaker 1: I'm really a summer baby. I gotta be in the house.
Speaker 2: To me too. I like to be bundled up watching
Speaker 2: a good TV show, but I could not get into anything.
Speaker 2: It's because my phone. When I tried to watch a
Speaker 2: show called Severance on Apple.
Speaker 1: TV that was good, I've seen the preview.
Speaker 2: For that, and I just could not unplug from my
Speaker 2: phone to tune into the TV. I think I started
Speaker 2: the episodes over and over and over and over and
Speaker 2: over again. So then I just stopped and then I've
Speaker 2: rewatched Harlem, so because that's about to come on.
Speaker 1: You know, it's weird that you say that, because they
Speaker 1: must be doing something with the social media this week
Speaker 1: for real, or these last couple of days, because I
Speaker 1: have really spent an excessive amount of time scrolling these
Speaker 1: last couple of days. For sure.
Speaker 2: Absolutely me too. I just was I could never tune
Speaker 2: into the TV. I could not put my phone down,
Speaker 2: and that's crazy. I mean, well, TikTok was only gone
Speaker 2: for twelve hours, so it wasn't like we lost a
Speaker 2: lot of that. Oh, I went to my friends' birthday
Speaker 2: party this weekend. I'm lying. I went to an eighties party.
Speaker 2: It was so fun, like she curated this party so nice,
Speaker 2: Like she had valet when you pull up at the
Speaker 2: house when she got big as Yeah, so she had
Speaker 2: valet downstairs. Homegirl got like a jumbo tron on the ceiling.
Speaker 2: I mean, you know how a person would have that
Speaker 2: tea a wall with TV's they made one TV screen
Speaker 2: had that down there. The DJ. It was just a
Speaker 2: really nice everybody was dressed up. Yeah, everybody was dressed
Speaker 2: like eighty dope eighties dope dealers. Honestly, that's how I
Speaker 2: felt like. Everybody looked dookie ropes, the bucket had you know.
Speaker 2: It was nice, It was a good time.
Speaker 1: Well, that's one thing I skipped out on on Saturday
Speaker 1: was the seventies. I mean Sunday was a seventies party.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that would have been fun too. Then go nope, Yeah,
Speaker 2: this is one of them parties with one of their friends.
Speaker 2: Like if you don't show up, they're gonna be looking
Speaker 2: at you like crazy, like how you didn't come? You know?
Speaker 2: So I definitely made sure my face was in the building.
Speaker 2: And then I hung out with Jamaican Raquel. Shout out
Speaker 2: to Jamaican rackuere the bitches because shots. They could take
Speaker 2: some shots.
Speaker 1: Do you think it's because Jamaica workouts so fucking hard.
Speaker 1: She definitely used to be the bitch like drink drink drink,
Speaker 1: and I never seen her drunk.
Speaker 2: She's still that bitch. She's still I can't hay.
Speaker 1: What type of body? Wait, what you got going on Sunday?
Speaker 2: I had to get up and do like some hair
Speaker 2: and makeup, and I was her team. Yeah, so that
Speaker 2: was my weekend. That's it.
Speaker 1: Well, I didn't go out this past weekend. I let
Speaker 1: me tell you all what I did do last week though,
Speaker 1: which while I was in the middle of doing it,
Speaker 1: I was like, damn, we should do a photo shoot
Speaker 1: doing this? What getting a fucking mammogram?
Speaker 2: I got put out.
Speaker 1: Awareness, you know, bitch, just be playing with their fucking health.
Speaker 1: Chid definitely the fuck up because you know, these last
Speaker 1: couple of years, it's like a lot of people and
Speaker 1: I wasn't afraid. One of my homegirls was like, you
Speaker 1: weren't nervous going to your appointment. I'm like, no, bitch,
Speaker 1: because I know I'm healthy, right. I'm always like put
Speaker 1: that in the universe, even if I fe some type
Speaker 1: of way, I am healthy, right, But yeah, I let
Speaker 1: them smash my titties up. Everything look okay, and nobody
Speaker 1: no doctor has reviewed my ship yet. I reviewed it myself,
Speaker 1: like I could they send you? Ain't nothing on there,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, So I guess I'm good.
Speaker 1: Ain't no radiologists reviewed it still today, Like that appointment
Speaker 1: was last week Tuesday, and it's nothing in your charge,
Speaker 1: nothing except for the you know, the.
Speaker 2: News is good news when it comes to health exactly.
Speaker 1: So these titties, good y'all.
Speaker 2: Let me see him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And you know the thing is, I was having
Speaker 1: like little sharp pings and both of them though, like
Speaker 1: just randomly occasionally, so a little piece in the back
Speaker 1: of my head.
Speaker 2: Like, but I that's not how it works. It's not
Speaker 2: gonna be in both titties. I ain't never heard nobody
Speaker 2: having girl. I don't know.
Speaker 1: People have had double what do you call them? Second? Yeah,
Speaker 1: people have had.
Speaker 2: Double Yeah, but that is it because it was in
Speaker 2: both breasts, or because the potential was there for both breasts,
Speaker 2: so they just cut them both off. I don't know.
Speaker 2: Maybe if you've had one, you know, sliding our DMS, and.
Speaker 1: I believe because both breasts may have been a cancer. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you may have had like some type of masks in
Speaker 1: them that was cancers. Because ain't no way, like, okay,
Speaker 1: just cut the one titty off so only have to
Speaker 1: get one implant. Ain't no way you just cut my
Speaker 1: other titty off just to match me up.
Speaker 2: Might as well, Shit, no, I would do it. You
Speaker 2: know what. Speaking of titties, AJ gonna send me last
Speaker 2: night a video of somebody with little titties and was like,
Speaker 2: this is your sign to keep them little ass titties,
Speaker 2: because I always would be like I think I want
Speaker 2: to get like a little a small implant. And then
Speaker 2: AJ is like, this is your sign to lead.
Speaker 1: Them titties alone, is what I said.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm I'm at a place where I'm not cutting
Speaker 2: on myself.
Speaker 1: So yeah, good titties. Them niggas is not complaining about
Speaker 1: them titties. Has any nigga ever said, a baby, you
Speaker 1: could use a little C cup? Well you probably a C.
Speaker 1: You can use a little double D cup. Has anybody
Speaker 1: ever said that? No, just do some wall push ups.
Speaker 1: If anything, I don't know, that'll.
Speaker 2: Make that a titty up that'll lift your titties.
Speaker 1: So yeah, and I mean I need to do some
Speaker 1: wall these titties is what I gained. Weight is like
Speaker 1: the first thing to go and these titties get bloated
Speaker 1: and like lose weight is the first thing to defleat.
Speaker 1: Really hell yeah, so I gotta do like I be
Speaker 1: doing like a lot of these things and chest stuff
Speaker 1: to keep.
Speaker 2: This is my back, my back. Like when they say
Speaker 2: I'm big your back, that's who they speaking to me. Baby,
Speaker 2: Like I try to wear this fur coat, I look
Speaker 2: like the cowardly lion off wiscuse my back so big,
Speaker 2: and then I got that big hair. Uh, I can't
Speaker 2: wear that at shit. Crazy.
Speaker 1: We be so hard on ourself man, and nigga like,
Speaker 1: she looks good. Oh yeah, I said, I look up like, well,
Speaker 1: thank you, because bitch, I feel like a mess right now.
Speaker 2: Right And it'd be when you're looking the worst, but
Speaker 2: the nigga think you look the best, so you look.
Speaker 2: That's what it is. Niggas all we really got to
Speaker 2: be like. I can look at pictures of when I
Speaker 2: was smaller and more have more collagen and all that
Speaker 2: good ship. And I remember saying being hard on myself.
Speaker 1: Then and now you want to get back to that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I was like, why didn't I embrace that
Speaker 2: when I had it? So I need to do the
Speaker 2: same thing right now because there will be a time
Speaker 2: where I look back on this version of myself and
Speaker 2: be like, oh, she was fine. You know exactly.
Speaker 1: Y'all love every moment of this journey exactly. Whatever body
Speaker 1: you in love it today, child, yep, and work on it.
Speaker 1: Let's get into stupid internet news.
Speaker 2: What happened y'all?
Speaker 1: Y'all know we was in a last week, like like
Speaker 1: Rocco hairline. Child, they got on Rocco Monica baby Daddy.
Speaker 1: We got arrested for I think like disorderly conduct or
Speaker 1: some type of assault some ship. This nigga got arrested
Speaker 1: for in Atlanta and they posted his mugshot online and
Speaker 1: Rock I don't even understand, Like he literally has a
Speaker 1: cone head and then he has the Fred Sandford on
Speaker 1: the side. So all this time his nigga been hat
Speaker 1: fishing and lace front wearing, okay, and we didn't know.
Speaker 1: But see Monica loved you anyway.
Speaker 2: And that just goes to show you are not ugly,
Speaker 2: you are poor.
Speaker 1: Ugly because a nigga responds to people laughing, is did
Speaker 1: y'all get some money today? Like that's really all niggas
Speaker 1: care about. It's getting money, like his hairline. But really
Speaker 1: you care about the hairline, nigga.
Speaker 2: Right, you ain't want them pictures out there like that?
Speaker 2: Don't nobody who wear a wig? We're want pitches with
Speaker 2: their wig off out there like that.
Speaker 1: But he can't even do a ball head, Like is
Speaker 1: that the real shape of the head. It doesn't look
Speaker 1: like that with the hair on?
Speaker 2: Is that the real shape of the head is a
Speaker 2: crazy question for real.
Speaker 1: Because did you see it? It's like comed up at
Speaker 1: the top, so it doesn't look like that when he
Speaker 1: has his lace run.
Speaker 2: On, maybe because he have like more hair. Like the
Speaker 2: barber is a good barber, and he makes it look
Speaker 2: like the illusion of flatness when it's really hair on
Speaker 2: the side of that cone.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, Yo, it's magic.
Speaker 2: Do you just believe in magic? While lie Magi?
Speaker 1: But this the nigga who was playing with Big Monica manesh,
Speaker 1: I can't believe it. I can't believe it.
Speaker 2: Well it happens.
Speaker 1: Shout out to that nigga here.
Speaker 2: Line, but are you like, would you carry out? I'm
Speaker 2: a fan of the man wigs. Some of these niggas
Speaker 2: be upgrading ten thousand percent with that little man.
Speaker 1: I actually like ball heads, like I have convinced a
Speaker 1: few niggas in my lifetime to let it go. And
Speaker 1: I feel like men don't know no better until they
Speaker 1: meet a real one. Be like, Nigga, just try it.
Speaker 1: Just cut it off and see how you look and
Speaker 1: with the body.
Speaker 2: But if you can get a way with a man
Speaker 2: wig and it looked nice, do it. I'm not opposed
Speaker 2: if it's done right now. If it looked like.
Speaker 1: You gonna date one, I would, oh, okay, yeah I would.
Speaker 1: I don't think I wouldn't hate on a nigga if
Speaker 1: he were again, I would probably try to get him
Speaker 1: to go do hearing plants, because I got a couple
Speaker 1: of homeboys that went over there to Turkey and they
Speaker 1: came back a bad bitch nigga.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, but what I don't like is that paint.
Speaker 2: Don't do that paint. I don't like that.
Speaker 1: And you're gonna go through an ugly stage with the
Speaker 1: hearing plants. Yeah, but it's gonna get better, like you know,
Speaker 1: oncey heels and all that shit and your new hair
Speaker 1: start coming in like you're gonna be lit all of it.
Speaker 2: You know. One of my homegirls did that. She said
Speaker 2: something slick to me and she had that ship tied
Speaker 2: around her hair real tight. I was like, bitch, you
Speaker 2: look like Frankistan right now.
Speaker 1: And she got her hairlined back.
Speaker 2: She had she had just cut back from getting her
Speaker 2: hairlined and she had like it was like a turner
Speaker 2: kid on that. Brother. You can't be talking shit to
Speaker 2: be looking like that right now, bitch. It looked good.
Speaker 2: It look good.
Speaker 1: Now, just got a hold on, hold on, at bit
Speaker 1: what else we had going on? This one?
Speaker 2: Newton? So Cam Newton did that show. It's a lot
Speaker 2: of celebrities on that show. I want to watch it.
Speaker 2: It's like a Special Forces kind of fear factor situation.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I saw him like jumping from a boat
Speaker 1: to the plane.
Speaker 2: Yeah, very athletic. Athleticism has not declined human because I
Speaker 2: would not. First of all, why am I here on
Speaker 2: this world? I would not participate in no Special Forces ship.
Speaker 2: I am too delicate to be out there doing those
Speaker 2: type of challenges and stuff like that. But Cam Newton
Speaker 2: was on there and he was speaking about, you know,
Speaker 2: not being out of the NFL for three years now
Speaker 2: and those checks not rolling in the same and him
Speaker 2: having eight children and him feeling like he can't provide
Speaker 2: the way he used to. And I'm sure he still
Speaker 2: can provide exceptionally in comparison to the average American, but
Speaker 2: in his eyes, it's not the same and it makes
Speaker 2: him feel he said he's superman, but really he's just
Speaker 2: a man, you know. And I thought that was good,
Speaker 2: you know, for everybody to hear, because oftentimes men and
Speaker 2: women treat men like their value is based on how
Speaker 2: much they can provide? Do you agree?
Speaker 1: We'll save my response to for the show. It's kind
Speaker 1: of aligned with this conversation regarding Cam Newton. So no,
Speaker 1: that is not that doesn't like what a man makes
Speaker 1: or like his what he can produce. That does not
Speaker 1: like just equate like to just who this man is,
Speaker 1: you know, because of what he can provide. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: say that, but I think that both men and women
Speaker 1: know that they should be providing. And I don't think
Speaker 1: a man is comfortable when he can. And Cam Newton
Speaker 1: just said that, you know what I'm saying. So I
Speaker 1: think when you take a man's job away right as
Speaker 1: the provider, some of them might have a little bit
Speaker 1: of resentment towards you. They may say they're okay with
Speaker 1: their woman making more money than them, but are they
Speaker 1: really are you now in a situation where your man
Speaker 1: is in competition with you, is he really comfortable in
Speaker 1: that position? So I'm pretty sure some men are, but
Speaker 1: most men aspire right to be able to take care
Speaker 1: of people. How many other people they can?
Speaker 2: I agree?
Speaker 1: Yeah, So anyway, y'a, it's going to be kind of
Speaker 1: aligned with.
Speaker 2: Our topic today.
Speaker 1: But you know that I think I love that Cam
Speaker 1: Newton was very vulnerable in that moment and then talking
Speaker 1: to the men while doing it. I'd like to see it.
Speaker 1: But then you get on these shows like when you
Speaker 1: had Doctor Bryan Brian on and the things that she say,
Speaker 1: you try to make it look like it's not like
Speaker 1: she's wrong, right with you creating these broken homes, and
Speaker 1: it's just hard for a man to actually provide in
Speaker 1: the way that he wants to when everybody's in different households. Also,
Speaker 1: so if you have all your kids in one place
Speaker 1: with one woman, y'all both are working at this thing together.
Speaker 1: Now you got to do with this attitude and what
Speaker 1: else this one got going on? If she might be
Speaker 1: shortering some shit over there and you're used to taking
Speaker 1: care of all these different households, I can't like, you know,
Speaker 1: it's it's it's fucking stressful, and I think you might
Speaker 1: do better under stressed. Maybe right, But they also have
Speaker 1: a high day rate of suicide when she gets too
Speaker 1: out of control. They can't really take it. Not how
Speaker 1: women handle stress. Women handle stress better than men.
Speaker 2: I believe men.
Speaker 1: Are just quiet with the stress. But peace and quiet
Speaker 1: is two different things.
Speaker 2: Just because you quiet, you at peace, you peaceful, that's
Speaker 2: for sure, like you really stressed out and just working
Speaker 2: shit out in your mind, which is not.
Speaker 1: Good all the time.
Speaker 2: I agree.
Speaker 1: So, yeah, he has stretched himself then, so it's good
Speaker 1: that he can now recognize that while talking to these men.
Speaker 1: But please keep that same type of energy when you're
Speaker 1: talking to women when they pointing out things. I just
Speaker 1: think that men prefer to hear shit from men.
Speaker 2: Don't blow through your money. Guys, don't blow through your money.
Speaker 2: You know, they have.
Speaker 1: To give financial advisors. I just don't know, and I
Speaker 1: don't even think it's a situation with blowing through money.
Speaker 1: Like he literally is taking care of too many people.
Speaker 1: So you let your dick make a slave out of you.
Speaker 1: So now you gotta keep doing all these different things
Speaker 1: now to keep up. I think he has the hustle,
Speaker 1: for sure, he'll be okay.
Speaker 2: Yeah, eight kids, it's a lot of mouths to feed. Well,
Speaker 2: But think about it. Back in the day, great grandma
Speaker 2: and great grandpa had thirteen and nine and thirteen kids,
Speaker 2: you know, and they were all in the same outside
Speaker 2: the house.
Speaker 1: Yeah, somebody the whole household somewhere else, but the times
Speaker 1: was different, you know what I'm saying. I don't like
Speaker 1: how the older generation, like the baby Boomers and shit,
Speaker 1: be trying to talk shit about us, like y'all niggas
Speaker 1: literally ain't really have to go to high school though,
Speaker 1: Like y'all who was able to get jobs and buy
Speaker 1: a house for fifty thousand dollars like we a house
Speaker 1: is half a million dollars now, It's.
Speaker 2: Just yeah, it's just not the same plan field.
Speaker 1: It's not. It's not the same. They still want three
Speaker 1: times your income for a for a rental, and.
Speaker 2: Then the wages have not increased the same as the
Speaker 2: prices exactly.
Speaker 1: So imagine three times your your income, I mean three
Speaker 1: times the rent has to be your income, right, but
Speaker 1: your rent is two thousand dollars a month, right, you
Speaker 1: have to make one hundred thousand dollars a year now
Speaker 1: to rent an apartment in most.
Speaker 2: Places basically.
Speaker 1: The math and mathing right.
Speaker 2: Sometimes it's just literally like they're setting it up right
Speaker 2: now where you need the partner or selling.
Speaker 1: Drugs, like you're gonna have to do some illegal shit.
Speaker 2: What they'll go say because that did telling drugs is
Speaker 2: dead to ship you had to get on some scamming
Speaker 2: on students.
Speaker 1: Tell little Asian little boy like twenty one twenty two,
Speaker 1: he got arrested. He was selecting online. But he done
Speaker 1: have hacked into some people's uh bitcoin accounts and stole
Speaker 1: like four hundred million, four four hundred million dollars I
Speaker 1: believe worth a bitcoin. Mhm.
Speaker 2: Oh, he was greedy. He should have just took one
Speaker 2: or two million. They may not have even noticed.
Speaker 1: Flexing on the ground with all the whips in the club.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm, that's crazy. All right, So hold on, so
Speaker 2: did you see.
Speaker 1: This just came in hot? I guess I don't watch
Speaker 1: reality TV like that. I think it's just kind of
Speaker 1: not the best representation of black people. I'm not opposed
Speaker 1: to doing reality here though, but I just think, like
Speaker 1: the ship that be on T very, I don't know, man,
Speaker 1: we'd be having our moments in real life, yeah, we'd
Speaker 1: be ratcheting, But I just don't really be liking to
Speaker 1: see it on TV for real for other people to see.
Speaker 1: Because now white people really don't have to be our friends.
Speaker 1: They just get a little piece of us online to
Speaker 1: see and they be like, oh, that's not all these
Speaker 1: niggas are.
Speaker 2: We ain't gotta be the motherfucker friend either.
Speaker 1: On an episode of Love and Hip Hop Miami, whoever
Speaker 1: this person is Flow, do you know who that is?
Speaker 2: No, I don't. I don't watch I don't watch reality. Yeah,
Speaker 2: sometimes I watch Baddy. So I won't even hold you
Speaker 2: on the treadmill because I need something to take my
Speaker 2: mind off the burn baby sh but go ahead.
Speaker 1: So love them hip Hop Miami. Flow and amer Le
Speaker 1: Negra got into an argument and the girl Flow said
Speaker 1: that's how black bitches hit on light skin girls. That
Speaker 1: was the end of it. And Amra was like, say
Speaker 1: that again. See that's how you just let people talk
Speaker 1: right and they be done said the wrong shit. She
Speaker 1: was like one more time so you could hear yourself.
Speaker 2: Too, right, because all these beautiful black women at this table,
Speaker 2: and first of all, where is the light skin girl?
Speaker 2: Because she who is she?
Speaker 1: What? A licened girl? Please stand up?
Speaker 2: Because she wouldn't even light skinned by my barometer, you know.
Speaker 1: But apparently Flow cells U skin brightening uh creams and
Speaker 1: stuff online as well.
Speaker 2: So I never understood the concepts of that.
Speaker 1: It's just so contradicting, because why the hell, y'all be like,
Speaker 1: black is beautiful, but y'all be.
Speaker 2: Woulting to look yellow, right, I don't understand that.
Speaker 1: I'm confused. And on top of the brightening, on top
Speaker 1: of the makeup, then you add a filter on it too,
Speaker 1: So really, do you really believe black is beautiful?
Speaker 2: I do?
Speaker 1: I do too, Okay, because old girl don't matter how
Speaker 1: yellow she looks, she ain't She is not fucking with
Speaker 1: Amara Mara Amara face like she's not fucking with that girl.
Speaker 2: Face face eats down. That baby looked like a woman,
Speaker 2: look like a damn Barbie doll, a chock beautiful black Barbie. Absolutely,
Speaker 2: we don't need to be arguing about looks with this one.
Speaker 1: And just because you like skin does not automatically make
Speaker 1: you cute either, you know what I'm saying. So I
Speaker 1: understand like i'd be understanding the plight between both of
Speaker 1: these people. We had an.
Speaker 2: Episode of yeah, being each other friends, we need each
Speaker 2: other ship exactly.
Speaker 1: We got.
Speaker 2: Race, yeah, you know, so.
Speaker 1: Air Kamina chimed in, you know, because she got fired
Speaker 1: from Love and Hip Hop Atlanta essentially when her and
Speaker 1: Spice got into it, and she did she call her
Speaker 1: a monkey?
Speaker 2: I think she did.
Speaker 1: And you know now she's on Zeus network, so she
Speaker 1: took that as an opportunity to you know, advertise for Zeus.
Speaker 1: But she's saying, basically, how the fuck y'all, y'all, this
Speaker 1: is the same shit happened to me. Y'all gonna fire
Speaker 1: her like somebody would coming for me. I said some
Speaker 1: shit in the midst of an argument to win, you know.
Speaker 2: And she does have a point there. I just think
Speaker 2: they don't like you, so any reason to get rid
Speaker 2: of you would have done. That's really what it boils
Speaker 2: down to.
Speaker 1: But she said she recorded, I think I don't think
Speaker 1: that's what it was. She was saying, how she you know,
Speaker 1: worked months after that. It wasn't until that episode hit
Speaker 1: online like it hit the public.
Speaker 2: So the public outrages what got her.
Speaker 1: The public outrages what got her fired the people. The
Speaker 1: people canceled her.
Speaker 2: Yo, I'm sorry, my voice, everybody sick, everybody going through it, Okay,
Speaker 2: So I apologize.
Speaker 1: We both drinking tea.
Speaker 2: Yes, like the neurovirus, upper respiratory invections. What else is
Speaker 2: going around? Good gosh, I had all of them.
Speaker 1: And that's another reason why I stay my ass to
Speaker 1: fucking the house. But I have a significant other who
Speaker 1: was very social, So now I gotta get sick every
Speaker 1: time this nigga come in here with some bullshit because
Speaker 1: you don't.
Speaker 2: Know you might as well you hear me.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I got to talk for a living, Like
Speaker 1: I can't be getting sick. Yeah, that is very inconsiderate.
Speaker 1: Like why I'm telling his girl, ass man, come me
Speaker 1: your fucking mouth. He's just in here hacking up, and
Speaker 1: now not even twenty four hours later, by the time
Speaker 1: I wake up, I'm sick.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I call her the other day She's like hello,
Speaker 2: I was like, damn.
Speaker 1: Okay. So when we come back from break, y'all. I
Speaker 1: don't know if y'all saw this clip of doctor Umar.
Speaker 1: He was on a podcast called Bittersweet I think it was,
Speaker 1: and there's a couple of clips from that podcast on
Speaker 1: social media right now.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: I did attempt to watch the full episode give that
Speaker 1: Girl of You, but I didn't get through it because
Speaker 1: somebody call my phone. But I want to talk about
Speaker 1: some of the things that doctor Umar has been singingly,
Speaker 1: and it kind of ties into, you know, with Cam
Speaker 1: Newton expressed on this new show he's on.
Speaker 2: So we'll be back let's get into it.
Speaker 1: Okay, y'all. So we're back, and so doctor Umar says that, well, okay,
Speaker 1: on this on this podcast, the girl asked her him
Speaker 1: about like it was wasn't even an ask. It was
Speaker 1: a conversation about dating women, you know, black women. And
Speaker 1: this is somebody in Australia. Now near he's on this podcast.
Speaker 1: It shows in Australian but as a black woman African,
Speaker 1: so he's even there. They're talking about dating and black
Speaker 1: women not being able to find uh suitable maids and
Speaker 1: partners blah blah blah blah blah blah. So Doctor Umar
Speaker 1: upon himself to say that, you know, black women are
Speaker 1: overly concerned about how much money a man makes, and
Speaker 1: we cannot and should not expect for a black man
Speaker 1: to have the means and be able to take care
Speaker 1: of us like white men do their wives, right, how
Speaker 1: they do their white women. And I just found it
Speaker 1: kind of offensive a little bit, right, because why is
Speaker 1: it that black women are the only group of people
Speaker 1: who cannot ask for more? Right? I think when black
Speaker 1: men in particular goal to these other groups of people,
Speaker 1: they know they got to come with more, but they
Speaker 1: while with us, they expect us to struggle with them.
Speaker 2: And we do. That's the crazy part.
Speaker 1: That's why I want to talk about it exactly. We
Speaker 1: fucking do.
Speaker 2: Right, this narrative that black women are just after finances,
Speaker 2: We be in the trenches with these men.
Speaker 1: All the time. Yeah, okay all the time. So it's
Speaker 1: just and then where's your fucking wife, doctor, Umar, where's
Speaker 1: your black wife? Where's your black woman? While you're out
Speaker 1: here telling black men and women how the relationship?
Speaker 2: Because who is he dating? Is he dating anyone? Because
Speaker 2: I mean he does have a lot of advice for
Speaker 2: black women, and I just don't see him ever with
Speaker 2: the one or any woman for that matter, Like have
Speaker 2: we seen him?
Speaker 1: We know, I think he got I think he got
Speaker 1: like three kids with a turn. If you got him,
Speaker 1: where the women? Do you like him?
Speaker 2: Or are you creating broken homes?
Speaker 1: I'm confused.
Speaker 2: Somebody, somebody help me understand what's going on here.
Speaker 1: But here's the thing. Black men are way more hypergamous
Speaker 1: than black women, meaning black men date the fuck up, okay,
Speaker 1: And if they're not dating up, you're a stepping stool
Speaker 1: until they get the women that they actually think they deserve.
Speaker 2: So when you say men date up, it's not in
Speaker 2: terms of finance. Is this in terms of beauty? Often
Speaker 2: like are what they deem beauty like, they'll be with
Speaker 2: the average looking around the way chick like that'll be
Speaker 2: their first baby mama. And then when they get money,
Speaker 2: it might be some exotic looking or more glamorous looking,
Speaker 2: or more fit or more something that's esthetically pleasing to
Speaker 2: the eye. Perhaps when you say, is that what you mean.
Speaker 1: By no, I'm talking about straight up finances. I'm talking
Speaker 1: about finances. Black men date up when you see a
Speaker 1: black Okay, So this is this had been an ongoing
Speaker 1: argument with me and this nigga, right because, and I
Speaker 1: mean for years. This is an argument because he would
Speaker 1: make comments like black women only date white men for
Speaker 1: a come up, and I'm like, that's a lie. Usually
Speaker 1: when a black woman dates a black dates a white
Speaker 1: man date she actually likes white people, white men. Excuse me,
Speaker 1: chause he likes the white people, white men. She prefers
Speaker 1: white men, right, And she's also well established. A lot
Speaker 1: of the time, they're highly educated, great jobs, you know,
Speaker 1: deep in their professions in their careers, and they go
Speaker 1: get a white guy, right because that's what they want. Right.
Speaker 1: When a black man dates a white woman, it's usually
Speaker 1: for a come up so he can reposition himself so
Speaker 1: he can have more access that it's not the same
Speaker 1: when black women do it.
Speaker 2: I agree.
Speaker 1: So that's what I mean by when doctor Lumar says
Speaker 1: that black women have this expectation from black men. I
Speaker 1: feel like black men have an expectation from black women
Speaker 1: that they don't have from other groups of women.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they ask us.
Speaker 1: What we bring it to the table and somebody else
Speaker 1: can just come sit down, because that they go after
Speaker 1: something different once they arrive, once they get their finances
Speaker 1: in order, A lot of times they go after something different.
Speaker 1: It may not be a white woman right right, but
Speaker 1: it's not always an afrocentric black woman. That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So why are we expected right to not at least
Speaker 1: have a man, Like I said when we were talking
Speaker 1: about Cam Newton, at least have a man and who's
Speaker 1: aspiring to take care of I'm not asking you to
Speaker 1: have everything today. We know women have potential. We be
Speaker 1: fucking with niggas because of potential a.
Speaker 2: Lot, right, but in our all right, So here's me
Speaker 2: playing devil's advocate all the time. Right now, Black women
Speaker 2: make more money and are more educated than black men.
Speaker 2: So with that, knowing that statistic, all of us ain't
Speaker 2: gonna be able to get a man who's making as
Speaker 2: much as us because they don't exist.
Speaker 1: Black women are also more in debt than black men,
Speaker 1: So yeah, you're making more money, but that education costs
Speaker 1: you one hundred two hundred thousand dollars you coming to
Speaker 1: the table, we're more debt, so it kind of evens out.
Speaker 2: Actually, But if you're saying, oh, I only make it,
Speaker 2: look I only want today a man who is equally
Speaker 2: yoked when it comes to financing as me, making as
Speaker 2: much as me, some of us gonna miss out because
Speaker 2: there's just not enough black men to make that happen.
Speaker 2: So what do we do do we day outside of
Speaker 2: our race? Do we decide to just be alone? Do
Speaker 2: we you know, are we date down?
Speaker 1: No? Those are I can't the men come up, right,
Speaker 1: you don't have to work for somebody. Most black women
Speaker 1: are working corporate jobs. You know, they get their educations. No, they,
Speaker 1: like a lot of black women do have businesses they've
Speaker 1: created as well. Right, But a lot of my like
Speaker 1: guy friends, like these niggas own businesses. They don't have
Speaker 1: a degree, you know what I'm saying. It might have
Speaker 1: been in a military at some point, something like that.
Speaker 1: But they created the riches, they created their wealth. Right,
Speaker 1: you can do that, I think. I think the problem
Speaker 1: is is that why are we acting? Why are we
Speaker 1: being asked to step down as opposed to the men
Speaker 1: actually elevated elevator? Because I feel like if every woman
Speaker 1: required a man to have a house, a car, and
Speaker 1: a job, every man would have a house, a car,
Speaker 1: and a job. But because there are some women that
Speaker 1: would allow a man to come sleep on their couch
Speaker 1: and their house, some men feel like they don't have
Speaker 1: to get to it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but can we love a man until he gets
Speaker 2: a house, a car and a job. Do we need
Speaker 2: to already he needs to already come with that? I'm
Speaker 2: just thinking about our twenties, no, so so all right,
Speaker 2: I'm thinking about remember the movie with Taraji.
Speaker 1: P Hensen Oh Acrimony.
Speaker 2: Acrimony, and how the woman he ended up marrying pretty
Speaker 2: much took him in and he was in a low place.
Speaker 2: He ain't have no money. He just had an idea
Speaker 2: that was brilliant, you know, But.
Speaker 1: How many years was Taraji with him with the idea
Speaker 1: this woman reaped the benefits when he finally arrived. Do
Speaker 1: you see what I'm say?
Speaker 2: No, No, he didn't arrive, He arrived with her. She
Speaker 2: she got him out the trenches. He was working in
Speaker 2: the kitchen at a restaurant washing dishes.
Speaker 1: You watch that movie. Yeah, he put up Taraji p
Speaker 1: Henson Mama house for that, for that, for that his creation.
Speaker 1: The girl worked at the firm that he was trying
Speaker 1: to get his foot into. That's how he was able.
Speaker 1: She she basically got him in the door. Now, Taraji
Speaker 1: Pinson wasn't in this woman's position to actually get him
Speaker 1: in that door. She happened to work at the place
Speaker 1: right right.
Speaker 2: But what I'm saying is she didn't get him from
Speaker 2: He wasn't already glowed up when she snatched him up.
Speaker 2: He was down.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But I think I don't know if that's a
Speaker 1: good example, because Taraji p Henson lost her mind literally
Speaker 1: she did, staying with him through the thick mm hmm.
Speaker 1: She literally lost her fucking mind, and some other woman
Speaker 1: gets to benefit, you know, and you know this is
Speaker 1: why they So, this is why you could be in
Speaker 1: a situation with somebody where either this person want to
Speaker 1: be moving mountains with you or they gonna be the
Speaker 1: mountain you gotta move mm hmm. So it could be
Speaker 1: the energy from the other person why you're not advancing
Speaker 1: and get into where you need to be at. It's
Speaker 1: a lot of men and women situations like that, just
Speaker 1: with the wrong partner and they're holding on to this thing,
Speaker 1: and maybe that relationship is what they actually got to
Speaker 1: let go of to get to the.
Speaker 2: Next to elevate. Yep, I agree, But.
Speaker 1: How long was she supposed to cater to his thing?
Speaker 2: How long?
Speaker 1: How long do we struggle in the relationship? And why
Speaker 1: do we have to struggle?
Speaker 2: That's what doctor Umar said, because the black man doesn't
Speaker 2: have the privilege that the white man has, So that's
Speaker 2: why you have to struggle with them. Listen. I don't
Speaker 2: I don't, I don't. I don't subscribe to the idea
Speaker 2: of struggle. I don't want to struggle in any stretch
Speaker 2: of the imagination. But I'm willing to.
Speaker 1: Like we do with I just don't like because we
Speaker 1: do it, we do it, we do we do Yeah.
Speaker 1: So it's just like where do all where are all
Speaker 1: these men with all this money that black women just
Speaker 1: not fucking with? I mean with no money. I mean, like,
Speaker 1: where are where are all these men? Bitch is pregnant? Yeah, there,
Speaker 1: it's more. It's more black people period. Black men and
Speaker 1: women that don't have nothing, no money, right, living paycheck
Speaker 1: to paycheck. They be doing it together.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm I agree.
Speaker 1: So what I think the group of people that these
Speaker 1: men get on podcasts and who they're talking about are
Speaker 1: the women who are now choosing to be single and
Speaker 1: they have standards, right, Those are the women that men
Speaker 1: have a problem with, right, because a lot of those
Speaker 1: women are getting comfortable being by themselves. Right.
Speaker 2: I ain't comfortable. I'm gonna let y'all know, right.
Speaker 1: Be comfortable for real by myself because I'm a relationship person, right,
Speaker 1: kind of like a hybrid kinda like I said, I
Speaker 1: want to be single in a relationship.
Speaker 2: I remember I came home from work and I was
Speaker 2: living in this high rise. Everything was beautiful, and I
Speaker 2: put my little factor meal in the microwave and I
Speaker 2: sat down on the couch at my little uh TV
Speaker 2: TV tray and I was like, this is not what
Speaker 2: God intended me eating this motherfucking factor meal by myself
Speaker 2: in this house. This is not how it's supposed to be,
Speaker 2: and I know the.
Speaker 1: Life is based on double occupancy. Y'all can tell what
Speaker 1: these damn bills Okay, yeah, the price of cost.
Speaker 2: In the same breath, I'm not willing to just lay
Speaker 2: my standards down by the riverside just to have somebody right,
Speaker 2: I'll be alone until I meet someone that but it's
Speaker 2: just so it. I don't know how it's become so difficult,
Speaker 2: you know. I think social media plays a role because
Speaker 2: we have access to too many people exactly, you know,
Speaker 2: I think that plays a huge role. The DMS is
Speaker 2: never it's endless. It's endless niggas in there which make
Speaker 2: you not kind of want to it. I don't like
Speaker 2: because it, oh don't nobody's lie harder than somebody else. Husband,
Speaker 2: and the damn slipping and sliding boy, get yeah that.
Speaker 1: I really don't want us to be girls girls because
Speaker 1: y'all be in.
Speaker 2: Trouble, right, It benefits me nothing, So I don't even
Speaker 2: like entertain But then my husband might be right sitting
Speaker 2: in that DM wait on me to respond, you know,
Speaker 2: because where else I'm gonna meet him at we talk back,
Speaker 2: ain't not. But it's a bunch of bitches. It's a
Speaker 2: bunch of us. Or then I work in the industry
Speaker 2: where it's nothing but women and gay men, so I
Speaker 2: don't I'm not even in environments where I get to
Speaker 2: meet men. So then now I get to I got
Speaker 2: to either use social media and I just want to
Speaker 2: talk about this real quick. I downloaded this app called Luxy.
Speaker 2: It's a dating app. It's supposed to be like an
Speaker 2: upscale dating app. And the motherfucker's trying to charge me
Speaker 2: five hundred dollars. I don't want no man that bad.
Speaker 2: You're buying a Yeah, I don't want no nigga for
Speaker 2: five hundred dollars match Maker, not when the DMS that's free.
Speaker 2: It's the same ship. You know. What's what makes it
Speaker 2: any different?
Speaker 1: So is it white men on Luxy or the any
Speaker 1: black men on there?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's different, like all kinds of men white, black, uh,
Speaker 2: Middle Eastern all.
Speaker 1: I guess that's the investment, right to so you can
Speaker 1: find somebody who is to you got five hundreds exactly,
Speaker 1: that's the fee you gotta pay to let people know
Speaker 1: like this is real, Like you gotta that's an investment.
Speaker 2: I went. I reached out to one of those like
Speaker 2: million dollar match maker companies that I saw, like I
Speaker 2: think it was on like Housewives of Atlanta or something.
Speaker 2: I saw it on and I reached out to them
Speaker 2: and I got an interview and they liked me and
Speaker 2: all that stuff, and they was like, oh, yeah, we
Speaker 2: definitely can pair you with somebody. You seem like a
Speaker 2: great option, you know, candidate for the type of minute
Speaker 2: we have here. She's like, we're just going to need
Speaker 2: you to invest ten thousand dollars as it. Excuse me,
Speaker 2: say what ten thousand? I'm not paying five hundred. I'm
Speaker 2: definitely not paying ten thousand dollars. Like, we just want
Speaker 2: to make sure that this is something that you want.
Speaker 2: They want to make sure that you're not just looking
Speaker 2: for a man with money to come take care of you.
Speaker 2: I'm assuming because you got ten thousand of your own
Speaker 2: to invest into. And they was like, we'll keep sending
Speaker 2: you on dates until we find your husband forever. Once
Speaker 2: she paid this ten grand, I was like, Rachel, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna call you back in about thirty minutes.
Speaker 1: Isle as a portion of it.
Speaker 2: Refundable, No, it's not refundable. This is the feed to
Speaker 2: be a million dollar matched in stacks. So if y'all
Speaker 2: got ten grand. Y'all better if y'all have ten grand
Speaker 2: that you're willing to invest in. You know, being paired
Speaker 2: and you're someone who really cares about finances in a
Speaker 2: relationship and you want a man who has a lot
Speaker 2: of money, that is an option for you, you know,
Speaker 2: throw ten thousand dollars at it. I'm not willing to
Speaker 2: take ten thousand of my money to invest in that
Speaker 2: because I just feel like I can the best romance
Speaker 2: for me will happen organically. You know, I'm not paying
Speaker 2: five hundred that I'm trying to see here?
Speaker 1: How does that? How does that correlate to what we're
Speaker 1: talking about? Because it's something there with that, Right, So
Speaker 1: the woman has to have some means in order to
Speaker 1: get a man with money, right, right, And that's a
Speaker 1: I think that's another part that some women don't consider.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: You want, you want a certain type of man, and
Speaker 1: that if he's not a rapper or a street nigga, like,
Speaker 1: you have to present a certain way too. You got
Speaker 1: people who be in these these there's a lot of
Speaker 1: affluent black families, right, and they be real cut throat,
Speaker 1: like they're not just letting anybody into their circle, Like,
Speaker 1: who's this outside bitch? Because you could have married one
Speaker 1: of these other bitches that we in Debutante and all
Speaker 1: this shit I can't exactly a member of exactly. It's
Speaker 1: a mean girl. Shit goes on. So who are you
Speaker 1: some random ass bitch and where you come from?
Speaker 2: Right? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Like shit, get real, so are you even are you
Speaker 1: even that breed?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: Do you do? You have what it takes to even
Speaker 1: keep up with that lifestyle once you get that man
Speaker 1: in the upper echelon? Like, how can you maintain.
Speaker 2: That man? Can you maintain that man and that family
Speaker 2: that comes with that man?
Speaker 1: Hold on, Tom, let's stay some bills.
Speaker 2: Because do you feel like when you marry a man,
Speaker 2: you marry the family.
Speaker 1: I used to feel like that, and I feel like
Speaker 1: it is important to have a good rapport with whoever
Speaker 1: you went with their family. But at this big age,
Speaker 1: I'm like, fuck your sister, fuck them. People ain't coming.
Speaker 1: I ain't going really well luckily.
Speaker 2: I just always aspire to like really lock in with
Speaker 2: my my partner's family.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've done it in some situations and others I
Speaker 1: don't give a fuck.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I come from a very small like I don't
Speaker 2: have like a huge family, so it would be important
Speaker 2: for me to have a healthy relationship with my partners family.
Speaker 2: I've always like prioritized that where even after we break up,
Speaker 2: the mom would still be like, I want to hook
Speaker 2: you up with my doctor, you know, like I prioritize that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, most most of the time, like mamas love me,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Sisters hook me up with
Speaker 1: their brothers, and you know what, I definitely then happens
Speaker 1: over time, like they get some I think, I don't
Speaker 1: know if they're not. Like I always be saying, if
Speaker 1: the mom, I don't really like niggas with mamas, but
Speaker 1: if you have one, I just need her to be
Speaker 1: in a healthy relationship. I need your sister being in
Speaker 1: a healthy relationship and she's not interfering with our relationship.
Speaker 2: Like my my my high school boyfriend, his family did
Speaker 2: not his sister and mom did not think I was
Speaker 2: good enough for him. But that's because I was from
Speaker 2: the hood and they were like upper class wax in Columbia,
Speaker 2: you know, good well. And it was so crazy because
Speaker 2: I was definitely like an honorall student. I was in
Speaker 2: all the clubs. I was like highest ranking in ROTC.
Speaker 2: I was an exchange student.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: I was just very a cheerleader. I did it all
Speaker 2: and I but I just was from the hood, you know,
Speaker 2: I didn't I was a good girl, you know, but
Speaker 2: they just did not like me for any I mean,
Speaker 2: who export fast forward, we got kids with Listen, I
Speaker 2: ain't gonna put all the business out like that, but
Speaker 2: I'll just.
Speaker 1: Say who y'all was playing with?
Speaker 2: Yeah, who y'all was playing with? Period.
Speaker 1: That's why. That's what That's a part of my reason
Speaker 1: for not like imagine imagine it being the opposite. Though
Speaker 1: I ain't from the hood like both of my parents,
Speaker 1: like they from the hood of the Hood of the
Speaker 1: Hoods and Charlston, but they the niggas that made it right.
Speaker 1: So I all my sisters have lived in the projects
Speaker 1: and they was kids, but I never experienced that. My
Speaker 1: mom is still liveing in the same house that she
Speaker 1: bought that they bought her, my husband, my dad bought
Speaker 1: I don't know, a month or two before I was born, right,
Speaker 1: So that's that's stability, right. But imagine being with somebody
Speaker 1: who motherfucking people don't look like where they come from,
Speaker 1: but bit you from the hood and you treating me indifferent? Yeah,
Speaker 1: because she got all the things, like you know, she
Speaker 1: got a little Louis bag and all that. You living
Speaker 1: in a house that's damn there, dilapidated and treating me
Speaker 1: some type of way. Imagine that Treating like I'm not
Speaker 1: good enough for your brother.
Speaker 2: This was oh for their brother.
Speaker 1: Yes, treating me like I'm the one that's not good enough.
Speaker 2: That's crazy. But but being from the hood does not
Speaker 2: make you not good exactly.
Speaker 1: It's it's all this stuff is a state of mind,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, Like country is a state
Speaker 1: of mind. Hood is a state of mind. You don't
Speaker 1: have to look like where you're from, right, you don't
Speaker 1: have to be like where you're from.
Speaker 2: Right, I agree?
Speaker 1: And that's but that's what I was talking about with
Speaker 1: these mean girl groups, Like these people live this way.
Speaker 1: They whole lies. So even if you were the hood
Speaker 1: chick that made it, they will still be looking at
Speaker 1: you like an outsider, like you're not You're not like us.
Speaker 2: Right, it is. It is a class system, you know
Speaker 2: that happens within our culture. But does that does that
Speaker 2: mean like, because all right, honestly, I've met some men
Speaker 2: that were like really really nice and successful and really
Speaker 2: liked me, but they were just too stuffy.
Speaker 1: I need, like I need to I need to do
Speaker 1: it me neither, like I need to be able to
Speaker 1: be myself because I can be like that, right, but
Speaker 1: I can also I'm like renaissance woman. I can do
Speaker 1: all the things.
Speaker 2: That's why I feel like you could take me anywhere
Speaker 2: from the White House to the our House and I can,
Speaker 2: you know, maneuver, maneuver. But I don't need someone who's
Speaker 2: just so stuffy like you laught like an englishman, get
Speaker 2: out the face. Yeah, I can't do stuffy. It needs
Speaker 2: to be balanced for me. So but maybe I need
Speaker 2: to not be so you know, maybe I need to
Speaker 2: relax that. Maybe I don't like I'm asking him to,
Speaker 2: you know, people to accept me with my I you know,
Speaker 2: upbringing and the things that I've experienced and I can't.
Speaker 2: I'm saying, Oh, I can't date a STUFFI ass nigga.
Speaker 2: Maybe I need to date me a STUFFI ass nigga.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. I think that I
Speaker 1: just balance is always good. I don't like anybody. That's
Speaker 1: just just one way, you know what I'm saying. I
Speaker 1: have a friend who is like raising the hood, single
Speaker 1: mama that made. Those are generally the type of men
Speaker 1: that I like. I like niggas that maiden, I like
Speaker 1: men who they just did. Just the character is just different,
Speaker 1: and it's just.
Speaker 2: Something about a person who uh no struggle that Yeah,
Speaker 2: I think, I don't know. Sometimes I feel like they
Speaker 2: have a greater appreciation for things and wealth and relationships
Speaker 2: and I don't know, they just mo. Yeah, someone who's
Speaker 2: you know, had everything provided and give it to them
Speaker 2: their whole life. No, I could, you know what. I
Speaker 2: don't want to discredit them, because everybody's bottom is different,
Speaker 2: you know, So I don't want to like say that
Speaker 2: about people who've been provided everything. But it is a difference.
Speaker 2: There is a difference in gratitude perhaps.
Speaker 1: And see I even my I was not in my
Speaker 1: in my house and my upbringing, we were not provided everything.
Speaker 1: We were provided what we needed and we never went
Speaker 1: without things, right, So just real life middle class for real.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: But I mean, like I would see people who was
Speaker 1: in the hood, they had all the New Jordan's I'm
Speaker 1: always not. I had the basic ass fucking nikes, basic,
Speaker 1: all the basic shit, like, so the things that I
Speaker 1: buy now. Is because I was a proud of those
Speaker 1: things as a kid a mama, but we always had
Speaker 1: a house, So her priorities were different because she was
Speaker 1: also a single with three fucking kids, working all day
Speaker 1: long like a lot of other people moms. But the
Speaker 1: priorities and what was important was just different, right, So
Speaker 1: people will I have dated a nigga who judged me
Speaker 1: I would wear like wool coats. This nigga was like,
Speaker 1: you got that Manhattan jacket on? Like, what, this is
Speaker 1: a nice colt? I wanted to buy me thye of
Speaker 1: those timberlands, those thigh high timberlands that came out. I
Speaker 1: was like, your baby mama might like them. I don't
Speaker 1: like those, Like that's bit. No, they weren't.
Speaker 2: You're talking about the knee high Uh. Yes, they had
Speaker 2: a good run. When they came out. They was cute.
Speaker 2: You had no I didn't.
Speaker 1: Have that exactly, you ain't. But they was cute for them.
Speaker 1: It was not cute for me. I like, it weren't cute.
Speaker 2: I'm not saying what about the Manola blons.
Speaker 1: But then when they came out with all the knockoffs,
Speaker 1: I'm like it's over with.
Speaker 2: Everybody came out with. That's just like the shark boots.
Speaker 1: It's over it. I still like them, shark boots, fucking
Speaker 1: knee high ones. Yeah, the kids those are nice.
Speaker 2: I like them too, but I don't say they over
Speaker 2: so I guess people can't worry them.
Speaker 1: And now the same man right has strived. Right, he
Speaker 1: bought his kids at home. They don't know his struggle.
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.
Speaker 1: So basically you was hating on your kids because I
Speaker 1: would I represent your children. Basically, my parents tried to
Speaker 1: do all the things so that I didn't have to
Speaker 1: grow up how they did. He did all the things,
Speaker 1: so his children have to grow up like he did.
Speaker 1: But while dating me, you trying to make me feel
Speaker 1: bad because my bottom was different from yours.
Speaker 2: Right, I still got struggle and uncarmedy children like kids,
Speaker 2: be like, oh you got daddy had.
Speaker 1: I'm talking about grown people though, we in our fucking
Speaker 1: twenties thirties, like, and you coming at me because I
Speaker 1: have a different upbringing. Yeah, why are you dating me?
Speaker 1: Why are you dating up?
Speaker 2: Nigga?
Speaker 1: Stay where you say that? The fuck? That's what I'm
Speaker 1: talking about. Men are her pergamus. Okay, they're gonna date
Speaker 1: up and I met that nigga in a gas station, okay,
Speaker 1: working mopping the floor and a gas station. But when
Speaker 1: I once I spoke to him, once I talked, this
Speaker 1: is a nigga now who's doing very well in life. Okay,
Speaker 1: I saw his potential. Then he was mopping the gas
Speaker 1: station floor by uh at this gas station where by
Speaker 1: where my apartment was at in Columbia, South Carolina, and
Speaker 1: he was working there only to get enough gas money
Speaker 1: to get to Orangeburg. Fazi's a mechanics.
Speaker 2: Schooling me and brother. Okay, that's right, that's what I'm
Speaker 2: talking about. So why can't you catch a man there?
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, You can catch a man
Speaker 2: there at that point, That's.
Speaker 1: What Umar was saying, Like black women don't catch men
Speaker 1: in progress. That's a lie. We be in progress with
Speaker 1: black men all the time. Yeah, I agree, But when
Speaker 1: a man hasn't arrived at his final destination, they are
Speaker 1: oftentimes disgruntled and mad and upset, and it takes time
Speaker 1: for them to be comfortable with their situation. Because really,
Speaker 1: guess what, nigga, you should not be.
Speaker 2: Comfortable, right, But you don't have to be mean though,
Speaker 2: that's the thing.
Speaker 1: But they don't have nothing.
Speaker 2: Neither one of us are comfortable. Neither one of us
Speaker 2: are comfortable right now, but only one of us is nice. Listen,
Speaker 2: my ex bodriend. I used to come home from work
Speaker 2: and I'd be like, hey, He's like, why the fuck
Speaker 2: you so happy all the time?
Speaker 1: Leave him? The minute the nigga says some shit like that,
Speaker 1: leave him.
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm just happy to see I'll never
Speaker 2: forget this. He was like, why the fuck you happy
Speaker 2: so much all the time. I was like, I'm just happy,
Speaker 2: need to see you. He's like, you went to work
Speaker 2: for eight hours, you see me eight hours ago.
Speaker 1: But imagine if you came home this is why people
Speaker 1: like abuse. Imagine if you came home with his attitude
Speaker 1: every day, he would be loving and your draws people.
Speaker 2: That's crazy. What the fuck is so happy about? Like?
Speaker 1: Girl a minute and nigga act like that? Too many times?
Speaker 1: Did you say too many? Little Get the fuck up
Speaker 1: out of there.
Speaker 2: It was time to go. It got to the point
Speaker 2: where I would come home from work and just sit
Speaker 2: in the car for a little while because I knew
Speaker 2: I was gonna come into some energy that wasn't the same.
Speaker 2: It was gonna shift my spirit, you know, like y'all
Speaker 2: had a good day. I'm happy. I come in and
Speaker 2: I need to tone down my happiness to match the vibes.
Speaker 1: And see I can't. I'm learning to thrive in any situation,
Speaker 1: but toxicity that should be crumbling me a little bit.
Speaker 1: Dog my last relationship. You know how the men be like, oh,
Speaker 1: and I've said this before. They want peace, they want
Speaker 1: piece piece piece. All men are not fucking peaceful. That's
Speaker 1: how it would be when that nigga would walk in
Speaker 1: the house. It it would be a dark cloud over
Speaker 1: anybody that's in there. Soon as you could be so
Speaker 1: happy the sun was shining in that motherfucking bit. As
Speaker 1: soon as that keep going, that lock dark cloud.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you got to go. And if you are listening
Speaker 2: to this and you are living in a space where
Speaker 2: your man come in and it's darkness, brothers, baby, start
Speaker 2: getting your exit strategy together there.
Speaker 1: To live, get the fuck up out of there.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, men and women, if you come if your
Speaker 2: woman come home and you listen to this and every
Speaker 2: time she come home, it's darkness.
Speaker 1: Gons, it's a rainbow on the other side.
Speaker 2: You know, I ain't gonna say just get out of there.
Speaker 2: Maybe try to navigate why is dark and fix that.
Speaker 2: But if you can't navigate why is dark and can't
Speaker 2: fix it, baby, life is too short to be sitting
Speaker 2: in the rain cloud all the time. If anybody asking you,
Speaker 2: why are you happy every time?
Speaker 1: What you have to smile for? We got bills due, like,
Speaker 1: I'm happy to pay them. I'm happy to be able
Speaker 1: to pay my bills. To find gratitude, man, and all
Speaker 1: the things right the fuck like, that's how you get
Speaker 1: more gratitude. That's it anyway, Fuck you, doctor Lumar. He
Speaker 1: also said about Yeah. He also says some about the
Speaker 1: snow bunnies versus black women and how the black women,
Speaker 1: black men and black women Like I just said that
Speaker 1: black women will catch I mean white women, the snow
Speaker 1: bunnies will catch men in progress? Right, black women ain't
Speaker 1: doing that. That is not fucking treating me. And the
Speaker 1: thing what y'all until y'all get to where y'all going
Speaker 1: and then somehow you don't want us no more. That
Speaker 1: happens a lot. So why should we keep putting our
Speaker 1: fucking life on the line? When do we choose us? Yeah?
Speaker 1: This is why men, this is why the podcasts are
Speaker 1: in such uproar because black women have started to choose themselves.
Speaker 1: And even if choosing yourself looks like you being by yourself,
Speaker 1: these niggas is fucking mad. How dare you? You're the
Speaker 1: one thing that we should always have control of and
Speaker 1: care But once we realize we the fucking gods? Okay,
Speaker 1: because God is.
Speaker 2: But I just don't want the narrative to change so
Speaker 2: we can start pairing. Like there needs to be like
Speaker 2: a major paradigm shift so we can start.
Speaker 1: I think it's happening. It's just some of these some
Speaker 1: of these people, black men and women will just have
Speaker 1: to be thrown to the wayside. The niggas gotta get
Speaker 1: thrown to the wayside, and then we just gotta deal
Speaker 1: with black people. Yeah, I'm sorry, it's just different. It's different.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know. I don't know because
Speaker 2: I'm just looking at, you know, the youth and some
Speaker 2: of the behavior and some of the it's scary, you know,
Speaker 2: it's scary. It seems very divisive, you know, the young
Speaker 2: the young people, are.
Speaker 1: They smarter?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I just need to know why is y'all ass out?
Speaker 2: Why are not wearing them skirts? With their ass out.
Speaker 2: I don't come in my DMS and tell me why
Speaker 2: when did that? Like, how did that become?
Speaker 1: Girl? Bitch has been wearing their ass. You forget about
Speaker 1: freakneek and everything else. The Coucie cutters, like that's been
Speaker 1: the thing.
Speaker 2: No, I'm talking about these little skirts with the whole
Speaker 2: booty hanging out the back.
Speaker 1: Oh, like the Gothic ship.
Speaker 2: It's like a little lamp shade, just like a little
Speaker 2: lamp shade over as. They don't cover the ass up
Speaker 2: at all.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know, but I mean it's no different
Speaker 1: from the Kuccie cutters. People ask what is literally hanging out?
Speaker 2: I had Kouchie cutters back in the day, but they
Speaker 2: was not as little as these pasts come now. I'm
Speaker 2: sorry they were short, but there was not this short
Speaker 2: Cuccie cutters.
Speaker 1: You ain't having Cuccie cutters in because Kuccie cutters literally
Speaker 1: you got the kucie. You can see it in the
Speaker 1: front and then you could see that ass hanging it
Speaker 1: from the bottom.
Speaker 2: Oh no, I didn't. My mama wouldn't allow that.
Speaker 1: You aboub have had some shorts with a little fringe
Speaker 1: on it. They might have been.
Speaker 2: We would cut off our jeans. We cut up old
Speaker 2: jeans and then like cut little like little lines and
Speaker 2: then wash it and dry so it'd be like freely
Speaker 2: at the bottom.
Speaker 1: And see that even a little frilly thing that covered
Speaker 1: the booty a little bit at the bottom. But you
Speaker 1: have they just really walk around with the ass out
Speaker 1: and at the top. When low Rides came out, remember
Speaker 1: Loki low rise jeans.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and they had their little throng. Yeah, we
Speaker 2: did all I did too. I did that. I definitely
Speaker 2: had a little my little little strip on the side show.
Speaker 1: We did all the things too. I think it's just
Speaker 1: we're just older now and looking at the things and
Speaker 1: you don't have to do all that.
Speaker 2: I don't know, it just seemed very super suggestive. Now.
Speaker 2: Maybe it is because I'm older, older mm hmmm, because
Speaker 2: I'm so tired of looking at y'all. Motherfucking ass. I
Speaker 2: ain't gonna hold you. It ain't even good bookie. All Right,
Speaker 2: we start y'all beautiful, y'all.
Speaker 1: Valentine's Day coming up, y'all, find y'all some love. Okay,
Speaker 1: if y'all ain't get nobody during cuffing season, uh, you
Speaker 1: still got some time. You got some time to get
Speaker 1: a little little Valentine. Niggas hate Valentine. Nigga, don't wan't
Speaker 1: give no gift by ship.
Speaker 2: Like that's not true. Niggas to be lacking Valentine's.
Speaker 1: They get your niggasun for Valentine's. If you got a man,
Speaker 1: get your man. I've been trying to find out, like
Speaker 1: figure out what I'm gonna get mine for Valentine's Day.
Speaker 2: I got a good idea for y'all, for y'all Valentine's
Speaker 2: Day for a nigga, this is thoughtful. Y'all heard it
Speaker 2: here tam Ban, share this with y'all. Make go buy
Speaker 2: a photo album. Put a picture like from when y'all
Speaker 2: first started kicking it, however long that is. Put that
Speaker 2: in the front. And then the next page put like
Speaker 2: a gift card. It says, Oh, you look so good
Speaker 2: with a fresh cut. Here's a cut to pay for
Speaker 2: the bar Here's some money to pay for a barber.
Speaker 2: VI's a gift card for sixty dollars. The next page
Speaker 2: is like, don't ever walk out of my life, and
Speaker 2: it'll be a gift card to like a where he
Speaker 2: gets his sneakers from. And then uh, pull up on
Speaker 2: me on the next page and it'll be a gas
Speaker 2: gift card. Then on the next page it'll be like
Speaker 2: I want it when I can't cook for you, but
Speaker 2: I want you to be fed, and it'll be a
Speaker 2: gift card to his favorite restaurant. And then the next page,
Speaker 2: this is just some cash because I like tricking on you,
Speaker 2: and it just be cashing that slot. Just and then
Speaker 2: just the of all the things that your man pays
Speaker 2: for for himself, and create a slot where you help
Speaker 2: participate in that and put a cute little caption over it,
Speaker 2: and yeah, had a photo album. That'll be a cute
Speaker 2: little gift.
Speaker 1: Then make sure your your gift that he's to gift
Speaker 1: you totals up the amount of money that you said.
Speaker 2: Don't worry about.
Speaker 1: That don't worry about was like trying to give the
Speaker 1: same amount of money. That mean I might as well
Speaker 1: buy my own ship.
Speaker 2: You buy a ship. That's why you should not think
Speaker 2: about that.
Speaker 1: Why are we doing that?
Speaker 2: But just don't let my gift be more right m hm?
Speaker 2: Because practice like over here one Christmas and this nigga,
Speaker 2: we got each other gifts and I bought him like
Speaker 2: two expensive pairs of designer sneakers and he bought me
Speaker 2: this little Gucci wallace. I was like, I know the
Speaker 2: fuck you didn't buy me the look goddamn sticks back right,
Speaker 2: but it is what it is. I'm joking, all right,
Speaker 2: So y'all guess what on Valentine's Day. For our Valentine's
Speaker 2: Day episode by A J. A J wants to do
Speaker 2: this because she thinks it's gonna be fun for y'all
Speaker 2: and her the love of tambaw for the love of
Speaker 2: tam Ban. We're gonna have some gentlemen suitors to shoot.
Speaker 2: They shot because I think it's gonna be fun. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that's what you said. You said, it's gonna be fun,
Speaker 2: I said, for.
Speaker 1: Who's going if we actually, if we do some YouTube ship,
Speaker 1: I mean we can actually have people come.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Wenna have to come. But y'all, I get nervous
Speaker 2: and awkward, so it's gonna be autism. Well, y'all know
Speaker 2: I retarded. Please said, We're not gonna speak that over me.
Speaker 2: I have I retarded, Okay, I just sometimes I get
Speaker 2: social anxiety and I might get a little weird, but
Speaker 2: it's okay.
Speaker 1: Might start rapping, might start freestyling, fucking weird ass and like.
Speaker 2: To stick my hands under my armpits and smell like this.
Speaker 1: He was like, just not cool, Hi yo, man, Okay,
Speaker 1: just do what you want to do, man, love for
Speaker 1: you love. If you're comfortable by yourself, stay there. This
Speaker 1: is my last last. Stay comfortable by yourself. Then I
Speaker 1: listen to these niggas like Umar Johnson man because he
Speaker 1: don't got dance this way.
Speaker 2: He he do drop some gems every now and then,
Speaker 2: but when it comes to.
Speaker 1: It, be skewed when it comes to black women, man.
Speaker 2: Like saying that women aren't into trenches and not we are.
Speaker 2: We are there for each other more than people like
Speaker 2: to give us credit for so continuing to be I
Speaker 2: think it's the light in someone's life and being the
Speaker 2: light for your own self, huh.
Speaker 1: I think it's entitlement. They feel entitled to black women,
Speaker 1: so you don't really respect what you feel like is
Speaker 1: supposed to be given. We're not a given anymore.
Speaker 2: No, we aren't. But we do love them, and I
Speaker 2: believe they love us. We just need to get back
Speaker 2: to a healthy dynamic with each other. Absolutely, all right,
Speaker 2: I gotta go to work.
Speaker 1: If y'all enjoyed this episode, y'all tune in every Thursday
Speaker 1: on the Black Effect iHeartRadio app. And this is our
Speaker 1: first episode of season five.
Speaker 2: Niggas, Yeah, happy season five? Ain't j all right? Five
Speaker 2: years y'all live?
Speaker 1: Okay, it's what we're going into.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean coratulations.
Speaker 1: Y'all tune in every Thursday and The Black Effect iHeart Radio,
Speaker 1: Apple Way, but the fuck you get your podcast? This
Speaker 1: your co host a j Holiday two point zero on
Speaker 1: instant grams. Kick a tad oh, y'all, followed Dasha too,
Speaker 1: Dosha mink mink my cat can't Dasha mink mink. D
Speaker 1: a s h a mink mink.
Speaker 2: Y'all, it is official. Tam Bam on Instagram social media.
Speaker 2: I love y'all so much. If nobody loves y'all, Tan
Speaker 2: Bam love y'all, But don't forget to love yourself most
Speaker 2: of all. Remember speak now. I don't know I speak now,
Speaker 2: and be peaceful.
Speaker 1: Never hold your peace.
Speaker 2: No, be peaceful, Speak now and never hold its Yeah.
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