Speaker 1: Hell I Sucking with Dengler, Dared Haven and I heard
Speaker 1: radio podcast What's going on? Sucky Daters. We're here for
Speaker 1: all new episode of your favorite podcast. It's called Help
Speaker 1: I Suck At Dating. Usual suspects are here. It's myself,
Speaker 1: Jared Haven somewhere on the East Coast, and a woman
Speaker 1: that we've seen on this podcast before. She's gonna be
Speaker 1: co hosting with us this week. It's Analyze Puccini. What
Speaker 1: is up? Analyse? How are you? I'm good. It's good
Speaker 1: to see you, guys. It's been forever. It has been
Speaker 1: a while. We'll fill us in. Why has it been
Speaker 1: so long? What have you been doing? Analys What have
Speaker 1: you been up to? I feel like we have. Like
Speaker 1: you said, it's been forever, So what's been going on
Speaker 1: in your life? Give us an update? Like we haven't
Speaker 1: talked him favorite, Well, if you haven't heard, there's a
Speaker 1: quarantine going on each other. That's that's a good way.
Speaker 1: That's a good way to put it. Let's say like
Speaker 1: aliens came to Earth and they have no idea what's
Speaker 1: going on, and you have to describe you're to them
Speaker 1: to kind of fill them out what's going on? So
Speaker 1: what's analysis been like? It started out really great and
Speaker 1: I think probably like many of us, were super excited
Speaker 1: about twenty right, We're all like vision, It's going to
Speaker 1: be so amazing, and then proof, Um, you know, I
Speaker 1: felt really guilty a lot of times during this year
Speaker 1: because I was like, my year has been pretty great,
Speaker 1: and then I think I just had like streams like
Speaker 1: a lot of us too, it was like I don't
Speaker 1: know how the world's doing, but I'm doing pretty good.
Speaker 1: I felt really I felt really bad because people would
Speaker 1: be like, how are you. I'm like, I'm living in
Speaker 1: how I went on a road trip like life was
Speaker 1: pretty good, and then all of a sudden, like my
Speaker 1: hit that that like bang that everyone else had been
Speaker 1: going through and just had been feeling it to front
Speaker 1: times during this whole year, right, like we've all gone
Speaker 1: through our extreme highs and lows. So when did I
Speaker 1: When did I see you? Was it earlier this year?
Speaker 1: Was it last year? I think I saw you guys
Speaker 1: for it was right around Was it Valentine's Day last year?
Speaker 1: Or was it or this year? I think it might
Speaker 1: have been Valentine's Day this year. That's insane to think
Speaker 1: that we were in a crowded auditorium just in February. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're yeah, we did, but right, yeah it was it
Speaker 1: was almost famous live podcast. Uh. And it was in
Speaker 1: front of like three people and you were there. Uh.
Speaker 1: Jed was there to do a musical performance. Interesting choice,
Speaker 1: but I actually quite enjoyed Jed. He was quite nice. Uh.
Speaker 1: And yeah, to think that that was in February. So
Speaker 1: that was the last time I saw you. And the
Speaker 1: fact that we were in a room with four other
Speaker 1: people is insane. Actually, I saw you guys a lot
Speaker 1: at the beginning of the year. And then this is
Speaker 1: making me sad too, because I was like, oh, I
Speaker 1: usually see Dean pewbl Beach at the program. That won't
Speaker 1: be happening. But he's not golfing though, because if you
Speaker 1: got the pebble Beach, he'd shoot at least a one
Speaker 1: oh five. I don't know. I've been playing pretty good lately.
Speaker 1: I joined the country club. I gotta play golf whenever
Speaker 1: I want. For country club, Yeah, you should join. Actually,
Speaker 1: I got a good referral bonus if you joined. Where's
Speaker 1: the country club. It's called Bramar Country Club. It's just
Speaker 1: like it's like Tarzana Ah that's the most anti Dean
Speaker 1: thing I've ever heard. You joined on. Let me get
Speaker 1: this straight. In the past month, you've put a lease
Speaker 1: in a place in Los Angeles, and you've bought a
Speaker 1: place in Nevada. You've joined a country club. Who the
Speaker 1: hell are you? I know, Calin's really domesticated me. It's
Speaker 1: kind of embarrassing to be to be totally honest, but
Speaker 1: that's not the topic of conversation. Here. Join the country club.
Speaker 1: I'll show you how much, how how capable I am
Speaker 1: of handling you at Pebble Beach if it comes to that,
Speaker 1: But analyze. So You're right, we do normally see a
Speaker 1: lot of each other in that Pebble Beach. I've got
Speaker 1: a question for you. I think did I see something
Speaker 1: that you moved to Hawaii? Is that where you are
Speaker 1: right now? I am. I had to close on my
Speaker 1: windows because the sun is coming up right now and
Speaker 1: the birds go crazy, so kind of like your dog's Jared,
Speaker 1: the birds would be echoing in the Dude, I don't
Speaker 1: know what the hell is going on outside this door.
Speaker 1: But like I just texted Ashley, I was like, what
Speaker 1: the hell is going on? Is the mailman? Like antagonizing
Speaker 1: the dogs right outside the window. They're losing it. For
Speaker 1: the record, Jared, every single week, it seems like you
Speaker 1: have no idea what's going on with them, because they
Speaker 1: definitely are just a rambunctious couple of pups. Well, Lois
Speaker 1: is quite adorable, but she's also quite unpredictable. Well, it's
Speaker 1: it's funny because you're on East Coast time, which is
Speaker 1: twelve noon when we started this, I'm on West Coast
Speaker 1: time nine am, and analyze, it's got to be six
Speaker 1: am over there it's seven. Luckily they don't. They don't savings,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh. But still, I mean, that's even getting
Speaker 1: up for a nine am. I was like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: what time you usually wake up? Antaly's I keep all
Speaker 1: of my windows and so I rise with the sun.
Speaker 1: It's pretty great, I would say, I get up. I
Speaker 1: get six thirty probably every day, just naturally six. So
Speaker 1: all right, well let's let's ask the question. At least
Speaker 1: you we have to know about your relationship status, because
Speaker 1: obviously bachelor help my second dating. So are you dating
Speaker 1: someone right now? I'm not. That was kind of when
Speaker 1: I moved to Hawaii. To be honest, I was with
Speaker 1: my X and we signed a six month lease to
Speaker 1: move to Hawaii together, and he broke up with me
Speaker 1: two days before moving, and so I in our house
Speaker 1: for two weeks by myself. It was like the most
Speaker 1: beautiful difficult I don't even know it was the It
Speaker 1: was intense two weeks. I had like no TV, no distractions.
Speaker 1: I took a break from social media, and I just
Speaker 1: was like in it. I like read five books, I
Speaker 1: started therapy again. I did all the things. And then
Speaker 1: I got out of quarantining in that house. I got
Speaker 1: my own place, I bought a car, um and then
Speaker 1: he moved here less than a month later with his
Speaker 1: new girlfriend. Me. What yeah, so that is my quarantine
Speaker 1: love story. All right? Hold on, how long were you
Speaker 1: guys dating before you decided, hey, let's move to Hawaii.
Speaker 1: So we met actually the weekend that I was with
Speaker 1: you guys. I met him in February, um, and then
Speaker 1: it was just like a very We just hit it
Speaker 1: off instantly. We like skied in Tahoe. We met in Tahoe,
Speaker 1: but he was living in San Francisco too, and so
Speaker 1: we like we're able to see each other a ton.
Speaker 1: And then obviously because of like San Francisco kind of
Speaker 1: shutting down. All the big cities are sort of doing that.
Speaker 1: He moved in with me, so we lived in Tahoe together.
Speaker 1: We like we went on at a big road trip
Speaker 1: and um, we spent a lot of time with his
Speaker 1: family and my family, and then we were like, what
Speaker 1: are we gonna do because being are not going to
Speaker 1: be opening back up in San Francisco for a while.
Speaker 1: So we were like, where can we do all of
Speaker 1: the things still and just be outside And he chose why, Um,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I'm in the same same little town as him.
Speaker 1: Because our initial plan was to get here and like
Speaker 1: work on things. It was just to like take a
Speaker 1: step back because we were like we really were that
Speaker 1: relationship where I think a lot of people can relate
Speaker 1: where it's like you met and then it was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: well do you want to be alone? No, so like
Speaker 1: let's just move in together and just be together all
Speaker 1: the time. So we were like, maybe we just need
Speaker 1: to slow things down and like take a step back.
Speaker 1: So that was the plan. The plan was like he
Speaker 1: would still have the place, I would get my own place,
Speaker 1: maybe like do some couples therapy, like date like you know,
Speaker 1: not just be like living together immediately, but date, and
Speaker 1: so that was that kind of went out the window
Speaker 1: when he brought his new girlfriend. That's so crazy to
Speaker 1: me that he brought his new girl for it. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Like two days after we broke up, he was like
Speaker 1: posting pictures with her already. I was like, cool, have
Speaker 1: you have you confronted him about it at all or
Speaker 1: like like almost daily and he has yet to say
Speaker 1: one word to me, But what the hell is going on?
Speaker 1: Hold on, so you're telling me that you guys dated
Speaker 1: med in February. It was a pretty intense relationship obviously
Speaker 1: because during quarantine, you moved in together. Then you guys decided, hey,
Speaker 1: let's move to Hawaii together. But you were getting two
Speaker 1: separate places but moving to the same town in Hawaii. No,
Speaker 1: you're only were getting one place. But then when he
Speaker 1: broke up with me, it was like it was like
Speaker 1: a week long breakup of like, Okay, do we really
Speaker 1: want this? Maybe we don't, and so it was like
Speaker 1: maybe we just need to take a step back. So
Speaker 1: so it was like, but during that two weeks we
Speaker 1: were broken up, and then during that I guess twenty
Speaker 1: four hours after we broke up, though, he was like
Speaker 1: onto the next so overlap. I have no idea what
Speaker 1: was going on there, but I feel like, because I
Speaker 1: need to figure you this out. So so then after
Speaker 1: you guys broke up, You're like, okay, you you still
Speaker 1: decided I'm going to still move to Hawaii. And he
Speaker 1: was like, I'm still going to move to Hawaii as well.
Speaker 1: He was a little bit more iffy. He wasn't sure,
Speaker 1: and I wasn't sure how long I was going to
Speaker 1: do it for. I had had a bunch of stuff
Speaker 1: already sent here, and so I was like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna go and like do me like this
Speaker 1: is still my just as much my experience, and I'm
Speaker 1: like it's a great place to heal and I do
Speaker 1: know some people here, and so I was like, I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna go, and maybe I'll only stay for two weeks.
Speaker 1: Maybe I quarantined in the house for two weeks, pack
Speaker 1: up my stuff, and I fly back to San Francisco.
Speaker 1: Um So that was like a total possibility. But then
Speaker 1: I got out of it and I was like, you
Speaker 1: know what, no, Like he doesn't win this this experience,
Speaker 1: Like I can move to Hawaii to I've moved to
Speaker 1: different countries and other skates and like I've done alone time,
Speaker 1: I'm I can do it, and I was like thriving.
Speaker 1: I Um yeah, I just felt like a total badass.
Speaker 1: To be honest, those two weeks, I was like I
Speaker 1: started writing a book. I just was. I was like,
Speaker 1: maybe this is what maybe this whole experience was meant
Speaker 1: to bring me here. This sounds like the story from
Speaker 1: Forgetting Sarah Marshall, where like they break up a hundred
Speaker 1: and I rewatched that movie and I was like, this
Speaker 1: is my life. You are Jason Siegel, which means that
Speaker 1: whoever this girl is, that that's dude is dating as
Speaker 1: Russell Brand. And I don't like this. So I'm confused,
Speaker 1: Like how he thought it was okay for him to
Speaker 1: move into the same town again. Wouldn't he be like,
Speaker 1: all right, if I'm gonna go to Hawaii, First of all,
Speaker 1: why would I go to Hawaii when my ex girlfriend
Speaker 1: is already going to go there. And I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: to Hawaii with my new girlfriend and not only to Hawaii,
Speaker 1: but the same town that I know my ex girlfriend
Speaker 1: is now in. Yeah, that's wrong with this guy. We
Speaker 1: may never know. Well, I'm sorry, they have to go
Speaker 1: through that. And you see him daily, you say, I mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: pretty frequently. It's a small town. So I see him
Speaker 1: at the grocery store, walking on the beach, surfing, like,
Speaker 1: and he even acknowledge existence. Nope, well you can do
Speaker 1: much better than this guy. I'll tell you that. Oh.
Speaker 1: I mean that's the thing. Like, it's definitely been difficult
Speaker 1: because he was like my my person during all this,
Speaker 1: like he was my safety neck. He was the person
Speaker 1: I felt the most comfortable with. We got, you know,
Speaker 1: like six and a half months together during quarantine. Living
Speaker 1: with just one person, that's like two years. That's like
Speaker 1: we spent a month with my family, a month with
Speaker 1: his family. I mean you're like you're in it twenty
Speaker 1: four hours a day. So we got to know each
Speaker 1: other really well. So I think the hardest thing for
Speaker 1: me right now is just like the I do miss
Speaker 1: like my my like buddy, like my best friend that
Speaker 1: I had for six months that we did all the
Speaker 1: fun things. But now I'm I'm like I can still
Speaker 1: It's the same thing with coming to my It's like
Speaker 1: I can still do all those things. Like I don't
Speaker 1: need him. I don't need a man so that's where
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm surfing, I'm golfing, I'm joining your country
Speaker 1: club to d and say so in ways that all
Speaker 1: things considered then have you like obviously with with COVID
Speaker 1: and stuff, it makes a little bit more difficult. But
Speaker 1: what is the dating scene as a as a newly
Speaker 1: single woman out and how I've been like, um, it's
Speaker 1: not easy, but I'm definitely dating. Like it's a weird.
Speaker 1: It's very strange to be dating during COVID. Um, I
Speaker 1: don't know. I feel like people here it's like such
Speaker 1: a community, such a small community. That's one of the
Speaker 1: things I'm super grateful for. But people really like rally
Speaker 1: around to especially in my situation, a lot of people
Speaker 1: know and they're just like as soon as there's some
Speaker 1: single guy that they know that is an eligible bachelor,
Speaker 1: they're like, hey, let me let me introduce you. So,
Speaker 1: I mean, the dates here are a lot of just
Speaker 1: like let's go hike a waterfall and um, or let's
Speaker 1: go surfing together or something like that. So their chill
Speaker 1: I've had Like it's a small island though too, so
Speaker 1: there's numerous conversations that I've already had to have where
Speaker 1: I'm just like, I don't I don't want to have
Speaker 1: like a reputation. I don't want to be like dating everyone,
Speaker 1: so like I just want to be friends with you
Speaker 1: and like if it develops into something down the road whatever,
Speaker 1: but like just friends. Now this sounds like Bachelor in Paradise. No,
Speaker 1: I mean, I do feel like my boundaries. I don't
Speaker 1: know if it's like coming off of a breakup or
Speaker 1: if it's like again being on a small island. Maybe
Speaker 1: it's a good thing, but there's definitely I have much
Speaker 1: stronger boundaries that I'm putting up and just like being
Speaker 1: a lot more open um about like where I'm at
Speaker 1: and like what my expectations are in relationships. So I've
Speaker 1: been super super upfront with everyone that I've met because
Speaker 1: I don't want to lead anyone on. That's the other
Speaker 1: thing I think in this, Like during all of this,
Speaker 1: it's super easy to just be like, oh I am lonely,
Speaker 1: and that's like the wrong reason to ever be with anyone.
Speaker 1: So um, I need to just be good on my
Speaker 1: own and like have If there's somebody that really sparks
Speaker 1: my interest, great, but there just hasn't been anyone that
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I kind of want to make out
Speaker 1: with you. I feel like dating in Hawaii has to
Speaker 1: be similar to dating from like a mountain town where
Speaker 1: I grew up, and it's just like it's so small
Speaker 1: that everyone kind of like knows each other. Uh. Single
Speaker 1: people don't stay single along and like if they do,
Speaker 1: you like they're probably single for a reason sort of thing.
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's just it's tricky because it's like
Speaker 1: everyone kind of knows each other. Uh, and then the
Speaker 1: second someone gets single, it's like, okay, uh, We're like
Speaker 1: then they're like off the market just as quick because
Speaker 1: they were on it, and you just don't have quite
Speaker 1: as much like options, I guess, you know, so you
Speaker 1: have to be you have just play things a little
Speaker 1: bit differently. It's just everyone says here, they're like you
Speaker 1: gotta get them fresh off the plane, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: maybe from an uber driver, just like from the airport.
Speaker 1: So that right, how are you in town for? All? Right? Well, analyze,
Speaker 1: we have to take a quick break. But I do
Speaker 1: kind of want to play a game with you. Have
Speaker 1: you have you been watching Bachelorette? Haven't you haven't? No,
Speaker 1: never mind, we're not playing the game. Then I was
Speaker 1: gonna say who. I was gonna see who you wanted
Speaker 1: to see down in Paradise, because if you're single and
Speaker 1: you go back to Bachelor in Paradise, which I've already
Speaker 1: announced is going to happen again in one, I'm interested
Speaker 1: to see who you analyse would like to see down
Speaker 1: in that island. And I was gonna play a game
Speaker 1: with you with this season, but darn it, never mind.
Speaker 1: Then I said, we played anyways and just based off
Speaker 1: the names. All right, cool, are you down to play analyze?
Speaker 1: I know that there's I think there's two three guys
Speaker 1: maybe that I people have been like you should date
Speaker 1: this person, but all right, well, don't say their names
Speaker 1: right now. We'll tell we'll tell you. We're gonna tell
Speaker 1: suck Army what the three names are the analyes of
Speaker 1: the three names that guys that anally should date down
Speaker 1: in Bachelor in Paradise right after we take a quick break.
Speaker 1: All right, welcome back to help I suck at dating myself.
Speaker 1: I'm jared by the way, Dean we have analyze of
Speaker 1: course you know her from our season of The Bachelor
Speaker 1: and Bachelor in Paradise. Uh, and analyze before we took
Speaker 1: a break with tease that there were three guys. A
Speaker 1: lot of people have been commenting to you that you
Speaker 1: should be uh keeping an eye out in case you
Speaker 1: walk down those faithful stairs and bachelor and Paradise again.
Speaker 1: Can you tell us who the three guys are? Okay,
Speaker 1: so I don't know their names. I was literally just
Speaker 1: gonna google it. But Dean I started this just made
Speaker 1: me think of you a little bit, um because I
Speaker 1: feel like you were on a similar trajectory. You were
Speaker 1: like never going on Paradise again. You were living in
Speaker 1: a van. I was like living in a trailer for
Speaker 1: a good portion of this summer. I'm like never going
Speaker 1: on Paradise again. And now you guys are asking me
Speaker 1: about her days. Well, I mean he followed the path
Speaker 1: to success. I walked so you could run analyis. Yeah, Well,
Speaker 1: I mean it feels like the farthest thing from anything
Speaker 1: I would want to do right now? Um, okay, wait,
Speaker 1: should I just google? I don't even know the names
Speaker 1: of any of the of the guys on this season?
Speaker 1: Well how about this? How about how about jaredald say
Speaker 1: the name that he thinks and then explain the guy
Speaker 1: and why he thinks. You guys would be good for
Speaker 1: each other. That's what I think we should do. So
Speaker 1: this is just this is gonna be really Jared, We're
Speaker 1: relying pretty heavily on you here, all right. Well, the
Speaker 1: first guy, obviously, he was a big name on this season. Uh.
Speaker 1: He fell in love with Asia. She let him go,
Speaker 1: but then he came back. But then, of course, ultimately
Speaker 1: it shows somebody else. I'm talking about Ben Smith. Now
Speaker 1: do you know who Ben Smith is? Annaly's Um, yes,
Speaker 1: they do, alright, perfect, very good looking, great body. He
Speaker 1: also at one point during the season stripped Nate Kid
Speaker 1: in front of Tasta, just so his vulnerability. Interesting choice,
Speaker 1: but I think uh a lot of women out there
Speaker 1: enjoyed it. Uh. So he is from Indianapolis, so kind
Speaker 1: of far, but you know, long distance relationships can work.
Speaker 1: I'm sure he'd be very open to moving to Hawaii.
Speaker 1: He's a coach at Deuce Jim Deuce. Interesting choice, uh
Speaker 1: for the name of Jim, but I like it. Uh.
Speaker 1: And he's one of the Bachelor's who Uh he went
Speaker 1: on Claire season. Uh. And he was a part of
Speaker 1: the recasting apparently after so he was not a part
Speaker 1: of the original cast. I didn't know that that's insane. Uh.
Speaker 1: And then COVID hit and then there was like this
Speaker 1: six month delay and then they cast it into beyond Clais.
Speaker 1: He's a pretty interesting so judging by his picture, how
Speaker 1: old is he? Ben is? He's twenty nine years old.
Speaker 1: He lives in Venice right now, but he's from Indianapolis.
Speaker 1: He's an army vet. Uh. He works at a gym
Speaker 1: fitness guy. What do you think, Um, I would go
Speaker 1: on a date with him. I don't know if I'd
Speaker 1: go on a date with him in Paradise, but I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do. I mean, I would go on a date
Speaker 1: with him. He's very good looking and charming. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna lie. Um. Yeah, he I actually have seen you know,
Speaker 1: when you go to the homepage on Instagram or the
Speaker 1: search or whatever and you can see people, it always
Speaker 1: pops up with everything. So that's the only way that
Speaker 1: I'm aware of things going on on on Bachelor at
Speaker 1: this season. But I've seen him pop up, all right.
Speaker 1: The next guy that I want to talk about. His
Speaker 1: name is Bennett. Bennett. Jordan's Annalys. Have you heard about Bennett. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's gonna be a hard pass through me, but let
Speaker 1: me give you the bio is so Bennett, of course
Speaker 1: is a gentleman of Harvard. Uh, something that I strive
Speaker 1: to be. He's thirty seven, so a little you know, mature.
Speaker 1: He's from Atlanta. I don't know if he lives there
Speaker 1: right now. I think he lives in New York. Uh.
Speaker 1: And again he was one of the recasting guys. Uh.
Speaker 1: He wasn't originally on the show, got recascid after COVID.
Speaker 1: He's an interesting human being, very Uh. How how the
Speaker 1: hell do you even explained Bennett? Just like such a
Speaker 1: caricature of what a gentleman of Harvard would be. But
Speaker 1: that's just like who he actually is. So we're gonna
Speaker 1: go hard pass with Bennett. Somebody wrote on my like
Speaker 1: a comment, so they said you should date Bennett. Uh.
Speaker 1: I could see you guys in the Hampton's eating lobster together,
Speaker 1: and I was like, m I don't really think that
Speaker 1: that's my vibe at the moment. It's more like walking
Speaker 1: a mile with no shoes on and not brushing my
Speaker 1: hair for a week vibe. I don't know if Bennett
Speaker 1: would be into it. Is that your perfect date? Like
Speaker 1: if you had to explain your perfect first date? What
Speaker 1: would it be. I mean right now, it would be
Speaker 1: probably like surfing and then getting fish tacos afterwards, or yeah,
Speaker 1: that sounds like an incredible first day and then getting
Speaker 1: fish taco is afterwards. Anything involved in fish tacle is
Speaker 1: maybe a cocktail, some water activity I'm in Yeah, maybe
Speaker 1: like a like by the beach. I'd like to point
Speaker 1: out to that Becky, one of the producers on our podcast,
Speaker 1: found her boyfriend through this podcast. So maybe someone on
Speaker 1: this unnamed, unnamed island in Hawaii is listening to this
Speaker 1: and being do you want to hear speaking of astrology
Speaker 1: my horoscope this morning? I was like, maybe I am
Speaker 1: meeting him on on help. I stuck at dating today.
Speaker 1: What did it say? It says a new person could
Speaker 1: come into your life who's powerful, magnetic magnetic charisma you
Speaker 1: find captivating, but be careful it doesn't distract you from
Speaker 1: what you need to get done. There's a lot more,
Speaker 1: but but that was what it started with. So who
Speaker 1: is powerful and has magnetic charisma? Baby Bennett would definitely
Speaker 1: not deaner myself, No, absolutely not, and always have a
Speaker 1: question for you. Actually that I think is very pertinent
Speaker 1: to this conversation. So you've dated both people from you know,
Speaker 1: after your experience both people from Vachelination and people that
Speaker 1: are not from Vachelination, do you have a preference of
Speaker 1: one or the other. I mean, people are people at
Speaker 1: the end of the day. I gotta I have to
Speaker 1: feel like for me, I would hope that people would
Speaker 1: give me a chance. My experience though, is that it
Speaker 1: is not easy dating people who have not been on
Speaker 1: The Bachelor after having been on it. That makes sense,
Speaker 1: Like you're saying, you're saying it's easier, but I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: not as easy. It's not easy. Like I do think
Speaker 1: that that was a huge um. I think it's exciting
Speaker 1: and then scary. Maybe if somebody was like an influencer
Speaker 1: or something too, they kind of understand the the like
Speaker 1: hype around it sometimes. But I think I think it's
Speaker 1: fun in the beginning. Like I think the guys that
Speaker 1: I've dated are like, oh my god, you got recognized,
Speaker 1: Like that was kind of cool. They maybe don't say that,
Speaker 1: but you can like sense that from their vibe. And
Speaker 1: then after you're like a couple of months in and
Speaker 1: you're you want to post a picture or something like that,
Speaker 1: and there's like, like, for instance, my ex um. I
Speaker 1: remember when I posted pictures of him, like all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, it was like, I think it just became
Speaker 1: a little too overwhelming. It was like, well, this is
Speaker 1: a lot you know, Oh totally, I can completely understand.
Speaker 1: We talked about this with a lot of previous cast
Speaker 1: members and how it just adds another layer of pressure
Speaker 1: to the relationship that isn't there unless you've been on Bachelor,
Speaker 1: because everybody knows you from dating on television, so they're
Speaker 1: gonna talk about your relationships. They're gonna talk about your
Speaker 1: ex is, They're going to talk about who they think
Speaker 1: you should be with, or it's just like this weird dynamic.
Speaker 1: And even like you said, if you want to post
Speaker 1: a picture of a new relationship, it's not just you
Speaker 1: posting a picture of your boyfriend. It's posting a picture
Speaker 1: of someone that people are going to comment and judge
Speaker 1: and and think that you are in like this really deep,
Speaker 1: loving relationship when maybe it's just a good relationship and
Speaker 1: you don't know where it's going. But so you have
Speaker 1: to keep it private on Instagram and then overthink things
Speaker 1: and it just complicates everything. It's weird. Yeah, Well, and
Speaker 1: then it's also just like family and friends and things
Speaker 1: like that, like with my ax. I remember when I
Speaker 1: when I first posted like the night that I met him,
Speaker 1: we um went it was a drunk night, but we
Speaker 1: went into his hot tub and I posted not of
Speaker 1: him just walking down the steps to his hot tub.
Speaker 1: And his friends, I guess followed me on the East Coast,
Speaker 1: who like I didn't know, but they followed me and
Speaker 1: they messaged him and we're like, oh my god, are
Speaker 1: you hanging out with me? An at least right now?
Speaker 1: And so then like they had opinions about me because
Speaker 1: they had watched me on the show. So like his girls,
Speaker 1: his friends that were girls were like, oh man, she's
Speaker 1: this bad and the other thing. And it's just stuper
Speaker 1: unfair because it's like, I mean, luckily to know me
Speaker 1: and liked me, but it's um it also puts that
Speaker 1: target on your back, like, oh is she gonna just
Speaker 1: want this? Like is you know? Like what are like?
Speaker 1: I get a lot of times like what are your motives?
Speaker 1: Or things like that. I'm like, what are you? Like?
Speaker 1: Why do I have motives? You know? Like I'm just
Speaker 1: a person who wants to date somebody. And if I
Speaker 1: have a connection with you, I have a connection with you,
Speaker 1: but um, people bring your character from TV into who
Speaker 1: you are in real life. Also, I like to always
Speaker 1: point out we're all about to grow and change constantly,
Speaker 1: and that's actually a great thing. We should all be
Speaker 1: growing and changing. So I am not the person I
Speaker 1: was a year ago, let alone three years ago. So
Speaker 1: I am changing and evolving daily. And yeah, I like,
Speaker 1: you're not even the same person that you were when
Speaker 1: you started this podcast. No, oh my god, growing and
Speaker 1: evolving second by second. No, but that does frustrate me
Speaker 1: a lot when people are like, yeah, but you were
Speaker 1: this person and I'm like, yeah, and you know, like
Speaker 1: you said, we're all we're all changing and growing. If
Speaker 1: we're not changing and we're not rown, then something is wrong.
Speaker 1: But I totally agree. I remember going on dates like
Speaker 1: after the show and people would come up and I'd
Speaker 1: be with, you know, a girl on a date, and
Speaker 1: then like girls would come up and asked me about
Speaker 1: Ashley and Caitlin and I was like, this is freaking awkward.
Speaker 1: Uh So totally get where you're coming. All right, one
Speaker 1: last guy and then we're gonna move on. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: ask you about a guy who is easy on the eyes.
Speaker 1: He's thirty. He's a Massachusetts guy. He's a local for me,
Speaker 1: you know, I love my New England boys. His name
Speaker 1: is Brendan Morris. Brandon. Uh is known for wearing his
Speaker 1: turtlenecks on the show Very Nice Man Again. He was
Speaker 1: recasted after the pandemic Great Choice thirty years old. Massachusetts
Speaker 1: guy loves turtlenecks, so analyzes. Could you see yourself dating
Speaker 1: a guy who loves turtlenecks even though you're looking white? Um?
Speaker 1: He could just get what are they called? Like are
Speaker 1: they dick what are those things? But you know, just
Speaker 1: like the half turtleneck. It's just the turtleneck with like
Speaker 1: the neck and you put it under like another sweater
Speaker 1: or it's like a collar, but it doesn't it's not
Speaker 1: a full shirt. Is that for like cold weather? No,
Speaker 1: it's just like I think back in the eighties people
Speaker 1: would do it a lot, like they have like a yeah,
Speaker 1: a dickie, I think is what it's called. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: google a dickie and if something bad comes up, I'm
Speaker 1: blaming you. Uh yeah, he could just like rock board
Speaker 1: shorts and and a little turtleneck dickie. Um, sounds so bad. Uh. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he was one of the top guys, right what you're
Speaker 1: talking He was third. I think he's cute. He seems nice. Alright, cool, alright, perfect,
Speaker 1: So we got it. We got two out of three
Speaker 1: dates for you, you know, paradise, real life, wherever happens.
Speaker 1: At least we got two out of three. We're hitting sixty.
Speaker 1: By the way. I also just googled turtleneck dickie, and
Speaker 1: that's exactly what came up. I've never seen this in
Speaker 1: my life. It's like a cowl. It's like the Batman
Speaker 1: cowl that goes over your neck and then you tuck
Speaker 1: it under your shirt. Why wouldn't you just buy a turtleneck?
Speaker 1: What's the point of this um layering? I don't know,
Speaker 1: if you have like a blade. Well, yeah, I feel
Speaker 1: like it was like back in the day when you
Speaker 1: wear like a turtleneck within like a sweatshirt on top.
Speaker 1: Like in the eighties, people would do stuff like like that.
Speaker 1: You know, the eighties. God, what a great decade. At
Speaker 1: least I've got a question. Oh that is so interesting.
Speaker 1: I just googled it too. It's it's funny, uh of
Speaker 1: all of the because even on Paradise twice, right, correct
Speaker 1: me if I'm wrong. Yes, Is there anyone that you
Speaker 1: maybe wish that you got to know better? While we're
Speaker 1: on the topic of dating Bachelor contestants, is there anyone
Speaker 1: that you maybe didn't give enough of a chance to
Speaker 1: that you later regretted. No, Remember when you and Kenny,
Speaker 1: when you're in Kenny we're an item. I thought that
Speaker 1: was so great. I love Kenny. He's fantastic. And obviously
Speaker 1: he left because he had to get back to his daughter,
Speaker 1: I think is what it was. But that was just
Speaker 1: that was a pairing that I didn't expect. But the
Speaker 1: second I saw it, I was like, that's great. Any
Speaker 1: more of this. I'm sad that didn't happen, that that
Speaker 1: did become a bigger thing, you know. I mean, he's
Speaker 1: in a serious relationship now, so I feel like it
Speaker 1: was not meant to be for us. Um. But the
Speaker 1: thing that I do love about Paradise and hate about
Speaker 1: I'm like being reminded now of like getting back into
Speaker 1: the dating world. Paradise is one of those things where
Speaker 1: you like, we really get to know everyone on such
Speaker 1: a different level, and so you give people a chance
Speaker 1: that maybe you normally wouldn't, like, for instance, our swipe culture.
Speaker 1: That's what's so hard about dating, especially like in COVID times,
Speaker 1: because you can't go out to like a bar and
Speaker 1: and just meet somebody in person. Is it. Like people
Speaker 1: will message me and they'll be like, oh, I want
Speaker 1: to set you up with somebody, and they'll send me
Speaker 1: a picture and then you just instantly get a vibe
Speaker 1: sometimes from a picture and you're like no, But if
Speaker 1: you actually meet the person and get to know them,
Speaker 1: if you're like, oh, they're into the same things as
Speaker 1: I am, Like we just have really great banter. Um,
Speaker 1: you don't know those things unless you're like face to
Speaker 1: face with somebody. And in Paradise, that's one of the
Speaker 1: things that I like is that you you maybe go
Speaker 1: in with your top picks, but until you actually like
Speaker 1: sit and have a conversation. Like Kenny was so so smart,
Speaker 1: and I remember him like reciting poetry that like he
Speaker 1: had memorized and um what moves. I remember there was
Speaker 1: one night, Well, you're like reciting poetry together. I was like,
Speaker 1: this is pretty freaking cool. Uh So yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: you don't know those things about people until you actually,
Speaker 1: Like he and I were friends, you know, and then
Speaker 1: and then it developed, and then I was like, I
Speaker 1: think it's just a friend's thing, but um, but it
Speaker 1: was nice to explore it and see if there was
Speaker 1: something there. You know. Do you have you ever recited
Speaker 1: poetry to Caitlin? Um? Yeah, probably such a dramatic pause. Yes,
Speaker 1: they answer that question, Jared is a resounding yes. What
Speaker 1: was it? Well, I mean, let's be real, every time
Speaker 1: I speak it basically poetry obviously, how could I have
Speaker 1: possibly forgotten that poetry is Yeah, I mean sexy, it's
Speaker 1: I mean I've saying happy birthday for her before. That's
Speaker 1: kind of a poem in a sense. Uh uh yeah.
Speaker 1: What about you, Jake? Uh? Well, I think that there
Speaker 1: really is no you know, there really is no barrier
Speaker 1: to what a poem could be. Especially it just kind
Speaker 1: of bloils down to your willingness to recite it in
Speaker 1: a way that is poetic. So yeah, I would say
Speaker 1: I would say that I've I've read poetry to her.
Speaker 1: What about you? Have you ever read poetry to? Actually? Well,
Speaker 1: I've written cards, like I've said before, whether it be
Speaker 1: Valentine's Day, birthdays, Chris Smiths, where I write, I guess
Speaker 1: rhyming poems to Ash. Uh. They're very you know, like
Speaker 1: third grade level, but it's really just the thought behind it.
Speaker 1: Sometimes I use a crayon just to really hammer home
Speaker 1: the inner child of the whole thing. Kind of creepy,
Speaker 1: but you know, it works. Sometimes it's it's quite nice.
Speaker 1: But I gotta really get on Kenny's level, because Kenny
Speaker 1: just sounds way more uh seductive and uh and romantic
Speaker 1: than me writing a rhyming poem to Ash. I don't
Speaker 1: know why I didn't remember this, but when we were
Speaker 1: in Paradise, Kaitlin and I, when we were filming, I
Speaker 1: wrote her two poems for her birthday, And obviously we
Speaker 1: all know what happened at the end of the birthday.
Speaker 1: But there were two poems. One of them was silly
Speaker 1: talking about I can't remember what it was, well, I
Speaker 1: can't remember, but it was inappropriate, so I'm not going
Speaker 1: to share it. And the other one was like a
Speaker 1: cute little poem and she read them and then it
Speaker 1: aired any of it, and I was very sad because
Speaker 1: I worked very hard on those poems. Well, I'm sure
Speaker 1: it's but it isn't the counts man. I'm sure she
Speaker 1: enjoyed it. Yeah, yeah, she it. I think at least
Speaker 1: she claims to have. She had to enjoy it at
Speaker 1: least a little bit right right right, right right right
Speaker 1: well in at least the years in the rear view mirror. Uh,
Speaker 1: tell us what you have in store for yourself, what
Speaker 1: you're excited about, what you're leaving behind, And to stay
Speaker 1: on topic of dating, what someone might be able to
Speaker 1: do in to catch your attention moving forward. Oh man,
Speaker 1: I feel like I need to do some journaling today
Speaker 1: and these are some questions I need to be asking myself. Um,
Speaker 1: let's see. Well, um, I'm I'm writing a book that's
Speaker 1: coming out in the beginning of the year. So um
Speaker 1: so that's definitely like very exciting. Congratulations. Yeah. And speaking Approachry,
Speaker 1: it's a book approetry. That's something that I got back
Speaker 1: into this year. Uh. I think lois for me, like
Speaker 1: for a romantic a partner. I'm really looking for somebody
Speaker 1: who uh like doesn't walks the walk and talks the talk,
Speaker 1: like especially in healing. I feel like that's been a
Speaker 1: big thing for me recently. Is just uh, it's somebody
Speaker 1: who's willing to do the work on themselves. Is like
Speaker 1: a really big thing for me right now, because I
Speaker 1: feel like there's a lot of people who just are
Speaker 1: too afraid of like the demons that they're going to
Speaker 1: face if they go to therapy or or just sit
Speaker 1: in their thoughts, and so I think that that's going
Speaker 1: to be somebody. I want somebody who's evolved in that way. Um. Interesting,
Speaker 1: that's a good explanation to find someone, because I find
Speaker 1: that a lot of people suffer from those demons not
Speaker 1: willing to try to fix themselves. Yeah, it's um. I
Speaker 1: think it's been the downfall of a lot of and
Speaker 1: I'm not blaming I think this year or I've gotten
Speaker 1: back into therapy and I've done a lot of work
Speaker 1: on myself, and so I want somebody who matches me
Speaker 1: at that level and is not afraid to like to
Speaker 1: know that they've gone through difficult times and then face
Speaker 1: it and try to actually grow and become a better person.
Speaker 1: So I want somebody who can meet me at that
Speaker 1: level and who, um is willing to work on things
Speaker 1: together too, because I find a lot of the relationships
Speaker 1: that I'm in like it comes to a close very abruptly,
Speaker 1: and I'm always like, this is it, This is not
Speaker 1: like how a relationship you don't just like end it.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like a you work on things or
Speaker 1: you know, and um, and I'm like, I want somebody
Speaker 1: who is willing to work on things. If there's a
Speaker 1: can we circle that for a second, because I've got
Speaker 1: a question for you, and I agree. I think you
Speaker 1: definitely need to be not you specifically, but just everyone
Speaker 1: in general. Like you know, blanket, you need to be
Speaker 1: able to like self reflect, focus on the negatives and
Speaker 1: and kind of trying to turn them into positive and
Speaker 1: grow from them. In at least you seem to put
Speaker 1: your all unto relationships and you can never be faulted
Speaker 1: for that. Why do you feel because I feel like
Speaker 1: every time we have a conversation it's like the guy, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, like this for like ended abruptly. This guy,
Speaker 1: So what do you think? Because I mean, and you're great.
Speaker 1: We obviously all know you're great, What do you think
Speaker 1: it is that you might be doing that might have
Speaker 1: these guys ending things so abruptly? Because I can't it's
Speaker 1: hard for me to imagine what it would be because
Speaker 1: obviously all I know you is as a friend, and
Speaker 1: you you are fantastic and I can't really ever imagine
Speaker 1: why guy would do these things. So I'm I'm just
Speaker 1: curious what you think that might be. Um, I mean
Speaker 1: this has been like that's something that I've been really
Speaker 1: reflecting on myself because I almost, I almost can say
Speaker 1: every relationship that's ended, every serious relationship has been a
Speaker 1: you are perfect, you were the girl I'm gonna marry.
Speaker 1: I just can't now. So I've never had to take
Speaker 1: accountability for what my part of it is because it's
Speaker 1: always just been the guy saying like I don't know
Speaker 1: what's going on with me. There's just like I'm just
Speaker 1: not ready. And so this last relationship was the first
Speaker 1: time where it was like, Okay, you know what, I
Speaker 1: cannot keep going around this cycle and this like track
Speaker 1: of this same the same ending. Um. I mean my
Speaker 1: relationship that ended before my this most current X, he
Speaker 1: broke up with me two days before we were supposed
Speaker 1: to go spend two weeks in France together. I'm like
Speaker 1: the two days two days before kind of thing, and
Speaker 1: it's just like gone overdone. I don't get a say
Speaker 1: in it. Um. I think. I mean there's a lot
Speaker 1: that I've I've a lot of healing and learning that
Speaker 1: I've I've done on myself, um in the last couple
Speaker 1: of months in trying to figure those things out. And
Speaker 1: I think a lot of it has to do with
Speaker 1: my boundaries, my attachment style. Um, the I put I
Speaker 1: do put so much into relationships. I am somebody Like
Speaker 1: talking to my therapist, I was like, I've discovered I
Speaker 1: want an all encompassing relationship. I like that, I like
Speaker 1: being with my partner all the time, and um, not
Speaker 1: a codependent. I mean, I think there's some codependency in
Speaker 1: every relationship, but um, not like an unhealthy codependent relationship.
Speaker 1: But I want somebody who is my best friend to
Speaker 1: like we do surf, we do golf, we do hike,
Speaker 1: we ski, like we do all of the things together. Yes,
Speaker 1: we have our own alone times and friends and things
Speaker 1: like that too. But um, in this last relationship when
Speaker 1: it ended, there was a lot of like it was
Speaker 1: a lot of questions at the end from him of
Speaker 1: like I was almost thirty six. That I was like
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks before my birthday and so he
Speaker 1: was like, you're almost thirty six, Like what are you
Speaker 1: doing with your life? And like you know, um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean they were pretty crappy questions, but at the
Speaker 1: time it really did get me thinking of like who
Speaker 1: I am, because I think that's a huge thing. I
Speaker 1: don't know if you guys feel this way, but since
Speaker 1: doing The Bachelor, and I think it was probably before
Speaker 1: then too, but I think the Bachelor only, like uh,
Speaker 1: intensified it for me because I don't think I've known
Speaker 1: who I was the last couple of years. I am
Speaker 1: who I am through the eyes of others, and so
Speaker 1: this was like the first time for me to step
Speaker 1: back and be like, wait, I'm like I am a
Speaker 1: total badass. Like I don't know where along the wine
Speaker 1: I forgot that, Like when I was thirty, I went
Speaker 1: and did a solo trip through Europe for six months
Speaker 1: on my own. Like I've lived in other countries, Like
Speaker 1: I said before, I've done all sorts of cool things. Um,
Speaker 1: I've been through a lot and like where along the
Speaker 1: lines did I lose my confidence and like not in
Speaker 1: my worth. And so I've been working a lot on
Speaker 1: like reminding myself of who I am and my value
Speaker 1: and what I bring to the table. And like I
Speaker 1: remember him saying to me, like what do you bring
Speaker 1: to the table? And now I'm like, oh, I bring
Speaker 1: a lot to the same Damn what what a dick?
Speaker 1: What an asshole thing to ask? That's crazy, But yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it was a lot of my a lot
Speaker 1: of myself to him was about like what I'm doing
Speaker 1: professionally and um, which is like, listen, you're living in
Speaker 1: Hawaii right now, you know by you're doing just fine. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know you're kicking asks. You know. It's funny. I
Speaker 1: did a lot of self reflecting after the show too,
Speaker 1: and it's it's that's awesome because you are a badass
Speaker 1: and I'm glad you recognize it. So funny because when
Speaker 1: I did stuff for reflecting, I was like, man, I'm
Speaker 1: a complete mess and I really need to come to
Speaker 1: terms with this. It's so interesting to hear you say
Speaker 1: that you are who you are through the lens of
Speaker 1: others because I agree with you, especially when you like
Speaker 1: because I feel the same way and I did for
Speaker 1: a long time. Uh. I think one of the one
Speaker 1: of the biggest things that I kind of like similar
Speaker 1: but slightly tangential at the same time, one of my
Speaker 1: biggest anxiety drivers after going on the TV show was
Speaker 1: I felt like there was so much possibility for me
Speaker 1: to do things, and I wasn't like realizing the full
Speaker 1: constraints of the possibilities, you know, Like I was like underachieving,
Speaker 1: uh in whatever ways it was. And I still feel
Speaker 1: like I am pretty greatly. But I think that maybe
Speaker 1: that's kind of one of the self I like, I
Speaker 1: had very little self worth for a long time because
Speaker 1: of that thought process where I was like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I can do all these things, but I'm not doing
Speaker 1: any of them. Um. And I would say therapy helped
Speaker 1: me with that quite a bit, But I think it's
Speaker 1: kind of just like an ongoing process, you know, in
Speaker 1: my opinion at least, But I agree it sounds like
Speaker 1: this guy is a jerk anyways. What kind of questions
Speaker 1: this is he asking? Like what does he help to
Speaker 1: get out of asking you those questions? You know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Like what an asshole? I mean. The one
Speaker 1: beautiful thing in it, though, is it got me to
Speaker 1: ask those questions to myself, because, like I said, I've
Speaker 1: never was taking any ownership in the previous breakups, and
Speaker 1: in this one it was the first time that I
Speaker 1: was like, what am I doing with my life? What
Speaker 1: do it? One thing that I realized just that I've
Speaker 1: been living, and I think this is like exactly why
Speaker 1: The Bachelor was like, yes, let's cast her. Um, I
Speaker 1: was living the life that I designed for myself at
Speaker 1: like eighteen, I thought like by the time I'm twenty six,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be married. By the time I'm thirty, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna have babies. And so I've basically just been like
Speaker 1: waiting for those things to happen for so my life
Speaker 1: could be like back on track in some way. But
Speaker 1: then I'm like, Okay, I'm thirty six, and now, like
Speaker 1: what do I want with my life now? Do I
Speaker 1: want kids? Like I don't even know if I want that?
Speaker 1: Like do I want to get married. I don't know
Speaker 1: if I want to get married. I would like to
Speaker 1: have a life partner. But there's like all of these
Speaker 1: things that because um of who I was on TV.
Speaker 1: Also then somehow it's really difficult because and I feel
Speaker 1: like I have to prove myself. So now I'm kind
Speaker 1: of like back back into this place of like and
Speaker 1: this is where I'm really happy to be in Hawaii
Speaker 1: because I don't feel like there's anyone around that I
Speaker 1: have to prove myself to or be anyone. But me, Um,
Speaker 1: but it is hard, like I do fall back into
Speaker 1: the lens of others. Is like the but you you
Speaker 1: are that girl that wants to get married and have babies,
Speaker 1: you are desperate, and I'm like, no, I'm not any
Speaker 1: of those things. Like it's it's a label that was
Speaker 1: put on me for the enjoyment of others. But like
Speaker 1: I am me and I know my truth more than anyone,
Speaker 1: and so like I'm trying to read, like really hone
Speaker 1: in on that, and I think that's only going to
Speaker 1: make me a better partner. And it's gonna like draw
Speaker 1: my partner, my ideal match, like to me too, you
Speaker 1: know absolutely, no, that's great. Um. I think that's awesome.
Speaker 1: And we're super happy for you and we're rooting for you, analyst. Um.
Speaker 1: And uh, I you're gonna be fine, Like you're beautiful,
Speaker 1: you're living in Hawaii. Uh, You're I I have only
Speaker 1: good I can only think that good things are gonna
Speaker 1: happen for you. Uh. And so we're gonna take a
Speaker 1: quick break, uh, and then we're gonna come back on
Speaker 1: the other side. We have a dating term. We have
Speaker 1: some rapid fire questions for Dean and antially and then
Speaker 1: of course we're going to answer an email of yours
Speaker 1: and we're gonna be right back. All right, welcome back
Speaker 1: to what help I suck at dating? I almost said
Speaker 1: welcome back to suck Army. Well, welcome back suck Army
Speaker 1: to help I suck at dating. Like we said before
Speaker 1: the break, we have some rapid fire questions for both
Speaker 1: analyzes and deany babies. We have an email from you guys,
Speaker 1: and we also have a dating term. So let's do
Speaker 1: the dating term first. So, Analyst, I don't know if
Speaker 1: you know this, but we define a dating term. I
Speaker 1: present a new dating term for the week, and then
Speaker 1: everybody here on the panel helps to define it. So
Speaker 1: the first dating term of twenty one is cloaking. What
Speaker 1: could cloaking mean in the new year one of dating?
Speaker 1: I'll start with this one, and obviously Mark Easton, Becky
Speaker 1: whoever else wants to chime and feel free, I think cloaking.
Speaker 1: If the dating term drives from cloaking, of course, you
Speaker 1: know that's the word, which, in my interpretation of it
Speaker 1: means to like conceal or to hide yourself. And so
Speaker 1: cloaking is when you are dating someone. And then it's
Speaker 1: basically like ghosting. All of a sudden, you disappear, you hide,
Speaker 1: and you hope that they go away forever. That's what
Speaker 1: cloaking is in my in my professional judgment, I have
Speaker 1: no idea, but I like had a whole story going
Speaker 1: off in my head. But then I'm like, okay, wait,
Speaker 1: let me bring it back to like what it actually
Speaker 1: might mean. Um maybe because I'm going off of what
Speaker 1: Dean said a little bit. Uh something to do with
Speaker 1: your mask or like you only ever have your mask on,
Speaker 1: Like if your video chatting with somebody or sending pictures
Speaker 1: to each other, you always have your mask on, so
Speaker 1: you're like concealing yourself and very interesting good thinking process there, Becky.
Speaker 1: I think it's kind of like catfishing, like you like
Speaker 1: a mix between analysis and Deans where it's like you
Speaker 1: have your mask on and then you take it like
Speaker 1: you're hiding some features, but you take it off and
Speaker 1: you're you're a totally different progerson. I think it's more
Speaker 1: like stealth, like a stealth bomber. I think you are
Speaker 1: going using a fake Instagram or fake social media account
Speaker 1: to uh stock x is to see what your current
Speaker 1: is up to, going into their friends lift stuff like that,
Speaker 1: using fake social media to investigate and be cloaked while
Speaker 1: you're doing it. Yeah, so you're cloaking, so you can
Speaker 1: just be a stalker. I like that. Uh so this
Speaker 1: one cloaking is obviously very straightforward. But I love the
Speaker 1: guesses everybody because if we've ever seen, if anybody here
Speaker 1: has seen a Harry Potter movie or read one of
Speaker 1: the books, as analyst is raising her hand, now, of
Speaker 1: course you have, uh what I was gonna say properly,
Speaker 1: I feel like the actual answer is what you were
Speaker 1: what you're gonna say, of course it is. And uh,
Speaker 1: if you know Harry Potter obviously has his invisibility cloak. Uh,
Speaker 1: you're not far off. If that obviously came to mind
Speaker 1: where being ghosted involved your potential love interests, simply going
Speaker 1: radio silent on all channels of communications, getting quote cloaked
Speaker 1: means that you've not only disappeared, but these people have
Speaker 1: straight up unmatched and blocked you on all the apps.
Speaker 1: How rude that is cloaking in the dating world there
Speaker 1: there it is like it's savage. Indeed, we do have
Speaker 1: an email from you, wonderful listeners, suck army Mark, would
Speaker 1: you be so kind to read this, It would be
Speaker 1: my pleasure. All right, This is from Sally. Yesterday I
Speaker 1: contacted a local grocery delivery service in my area. It's
Speaker 1: like Insta cart, but with local people. The delivery person
Speaker 1: began having a conversation with me about school. I told
Speaker 1: him I was a biology major, and then I wanted
Speaker 1: to teach. The next day, I get a text from
Speaker 1: the delivery service saying missing you, sad face. Then I
Speaker 1: get a friend request on Snapchat and that says this
Speaker 1: person added me through my phone number. Along with the
Speaker 1: friend request, he said aloha, and I asked if I
Speaker 1: knew him. He lied and said he knew me from school.
Speaker 1: I said, oh, I'm bad with memory. Did we have
Speaker 1: a class together? And he said yes. Science. Now that's
Speaker 1: when I knew he was lying, because nobody that's in
Speaker 1: the actual major ever says science class. These are definite
Speaker 1: red flags, right or should I give him the benefit
Speaker 1: of the doubt and see where this goes? Red flags?
Speaker 1: Those flags are redder than I've ever seen in my
Speaker 1: entire life. Stay stay away, Sally. That is just that
Speaker 1: is like, I don't want to say, like stalker level,
Speaker 1: but it's it's bordering it's borderline stalker, super creepy. Also,
Speaker 1: way too many coincidence in that one my mom's namess
Speaker 1: dally and then the aloha. I was like, um, oh interesting,
Speaker 1: Um yeah, No, that's creepy. I don't like it. No,
Speaker 1: I don't like it at all. First of all, he lied.
Speaker 1: Why is he lying? Why couldn't he had just said, Oh,
Speaker 1: I met you the other day. I was the person
Speaker 1: that dropped off the groceries. I'd love to get to
Speaker 1: know you more, like if you ever want to grab
Speaker 1: a drink or whatever. Why is he lying right off
Speaker 1: the bat about meeting her in science classes? He insecure
Speaker 1: about his job? Does he want to come off? I
Speaker 1: don't know what his end game is, but this is
Speaker 1: a major red flag. Here's what I got from this email.
Speaker 1: This guy must have been so hot. I mean for
Speaker 1: her to look past all of these things and think
Speaker 1: maybe he must have been stunning. Yeah, what is Tyler Cameron?
Speaker 1: Your grocery store drop off guy? So to realize how
Speaker 1: weird this is, picture him as whatever your definition is
Speaker 1: of hideously unattractive. If you picture him that way, you
Speaker 1: realize how very, very disturbing all of this behavior is. Right,
Speaker 1: the missing you sad faces, Really what did it for me?
Speaker 1: And then? And I don't know, but let's have an
Speaker 1: alternate reality here. Maybe this guy actually is in one
Speaker 1: of her science classes, and yet he also drives for
Speaker 1: the food delivery on the side, and he you know,
Speaker 1: that's how a way that he got a number. Maybe
Speaker 1: he's shy Jared and everyone's out going and as as
Speaker 1: boisterous as you are. I mean, oh my god, he'd
Speaker 1: red flag. There's a whole sea of flags out there,
Speaker 1: and every single one of them is red. I'm just
Speaker 1: trying to provide an alternate reality where this is more
Speaker 1: seemingly adorable that because obviously she, like Mark said, she
Speaker 1: thinks there's some potential there for some weird reason. So
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of what type of scenario it
Speaker 1: would take for us to be like, oh, okay, we
Speaker 1: understand that. But I agree, I think, Sally, don't respond,
Speaker 1: don't give this man the time of day. There's like
Speaker 1: a million ways to approach someone and start a conversation,
Speaker 1: and I don't really think this is one of them.
Speaker 1: The friend requesting the aloha, the missing you, missing you.
Speaker 1: All you ever had with this person was an interaction
Speaker 1: when you dropped food off for them? How are you
Speaker 1: missing them? I don't like it. I don't like this
Speaker 1: one bit. Stay away, Sally, I say, stay away. Sorry.
Speaker 1: If the grocery guy, you know, he listens to the podcast,
Speaker 1: we appreciate you listening, but I don't know. Definitely, don't
Speaker 1: lie right off the bat like that. All right, we
Speaker 1: have a couple of rapid fire questions for both Analyze
Speaker 1: and Dean. So Deen and Analyze, I'm just gonna raffle
Speaker 1: off some quick questions and you're gonna give me the
Speaker 1: answer that first comes to your head. Okay, okay, great,
Speaker 1: here we go. All right, here we go. Analyze, Dean,
Speaker 1: what is your favorite part of your body? Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: sorry my smile, mustache? What is your favorite part of
Speaker 1: a your partner's body? Or like if your movies? What
Speaker 1: do you Okay, mobies are good? We'll find out hopefully, Son, Well,
Speaker 1: what like when you first see a man? What's like
Speaker 1: the first thing you see when you see a guy?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm like a whole picture kind of person,
Speaker 1: but I'll do like eyes and our eyes are a
Speaker 1: good one. Eyes are big for me? And then smile
Speaker 1: at least as you say, smile is when you see
Speaker 1: someone smile and it like really just gives you butterflies.
Speaker 1: It's like that's good stuff right there. All right, what's
Speaker 1: the perfectification to go on trip to Hawaii? Uh? Convince it? Um,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, trying to think of where it's like
Speaker 1: on the top of my list right now. I want
Speaker 1: to do like bally Bally sounds very nice, but I'd
Speaker 1: like to go clean shaven or facial hair. I like, scrap.
Speaker 1: What am I supposed to do with that one? I
Speaker 1: don't know? You answer anyway? You want facial texting or
Speaker 1: talking texting? Uh, that's like a both. Um. I feel
Speaker 1: like it's so that for me is like a red
Speaker 1: flag if a guy won't like pick up the phone
Speaker 1: and actually talk to you on the phone. So if
Speaker 1: it's only texting, then that's the problem. So I would
Speaker 1: I'll say talking, what's your favorite day of the week? Sunday, Friday, Sunday?
Speaker 1: Just because of football? I'm so basic? Uh what? Uh?
Speaker 1: Drinks on a beach or hot drink in front of
Speaker 1: a fireplace in cold weather? Drinks on the beach? No, actually,
Speaker 1: I verstand. I say by a fireplace. I'm gonna say
Speaker 1: by a fireplace, just because it's different than what I
Speaker 1: am right now. Little hot cocoa in front of a
Speaker 1: fireplace when it's like thirty degrees and you're wearing a coat,
Speaker 1: that is good stuff right there. Well, you can't have
Speaker 1: you know, main or beach, mountain, mountain. On a scale
Speaker 1: of one to ten. How good of a driver are you?
Speaker 1: What kind of you say, I'm the best driver in
Speaker 1: the world. You ever got a ticket? Yeah? Not since
Speaker 1: I was like young. I mean, yeah, I got no
Speaker 1: motorcycle action last week, but that wasn't my fault. That
Speaker 1: was that guy's. Also. Also, I hit my driver really
Speaker 1: well on the golf course, so I'm really good at
Speaker 1: that driving too. That's what I was saying. I'm like,
Speaker 1: what kind of fair point? First celebrity crush, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: mine is probably J T T. Jonathan Taylor Thomas back
Speaker 1: in the day. That's a good one. Uh, Lizzie McGuire,
Speaker 1: Hillary Duff, Yeah, no, Lizzie McGuire, Yeah, god mine, it
Speaker 1: was the role of Hillary played obviously. Yeah, that's a
Speaker 1: fair point. Mine was obviously the pink Ranger. And last,
Speaker 1: but not least, because we just got a holiday season
Speaker 1: what's your favorite holiday? Good one? Halloween? Nice? Oh that
Speaker 1: is good? Mine is Christmas? How is Christmas in Hawaii?
Speaker 1: I mean, did it happen? I have no idea, Marca. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's fair. Yeah, it doesn't feel like the holidays at all.
Speaker 1: I just had this whole big argument with my brother.
Speaker 1: He was like, oh, I love Christmas. Christmas is my
Speaker 1: favorite holiday. I was like, did Christmas freaking sucks? And
Speaker 1: we had a whole big blow up argument about it.
Speaker 1: And so that's when I was like, July fourth is
Speaker 1: definitely the only really good holiday because it's like everyone
Speaker 1: comes together. You get delicious barbecue, you get a drink
Speaker 1: with your friends, there's no expectations for presents, just the
Speaker 1: best Christmas. Halloween is like Halloween's good, borderline good. I
Speaker 1: would say more good than bad. But you get your
Speaker 1: dress up in candy, I mean, and candy to the
Speaker 1: candy is definitely a big selling point. You guys are
Speaker 1: really starting to change my mind. Halloween is sounding better
Speaker 1: and better with each day. Uh well, Annelius, thank you
Speaker 1: so much for joining us on help my second dating.
Speaker 1: You are always welcome and we really appreciate any time
Speaker 1: you stop by. Um, we know you have your book
Speaker 1: coming out, which is super exciting. Is there anything you
Speaker 1: could tease with that? And it's a it's a book
Speaker 1: of poetry and my art, So I'm yeah, I feel
Speaker 1: like it's just a it's a little I keep saying
Speaker 1: this and it sounds so cheesy, but I feel like
Speaker 1: it's like a love letter to myself. It's just like
Speaker 1: my heart on paper. Well that's great. I feel like
Speaker 1: that always makes the best kind of books, when you
Speaker 1: just pour out your heart and you're authentic and real,
Speaker 1: super exciting. Well, everybody look forward to that. Uh, And
Speaker 1: of course you can follow Analy's Puccini on Instagram. Thank
Speaker 1: you to Sally for sending in that email. We really
Speaker 1: appreciate all of the emailers who continue to tell us
Speaker 1: their dating stories. Please continue that into one follow us
Speaker 1: on Instagram. Of course we are a help. I suck
Speaker 1: at dating. Thank you Dean for just being as wonderful
Speaker 1: as you are, especially with that mustache. It's really coming
Speaker 1: in full now. Huh. Look at that. Yeah, that is
Speaker 1: a full caterpillar right there. Thank you everybody who's listening,
Speaker 1: and make sure you guys tune in next week, where
Speaker 1: hopefully we all suck just a little less follow help
Speaker 1: by suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever
Speaker 1: you listen to podcast Who