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Speaker 1: This is John, This is okay storytime podcast hosts, and

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Speaker 1: we have some good story is coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: That's right. But before that, we have a little morsel

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Speaker 1: of a two minute outbreak from the sponsors keeping the

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Speaker 1: show delicious. Hmm.

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Speaker 2: My mother's side of the family is awful, So I'm

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Speaker 2: skipping my cousin's wedding.

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Speaker 1: Sounds like a good move.

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Speaker 2: Tree warning for verbal abuse. This is a long one,

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Speaker 2: but I want to know if the following is enough

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Speaker 2: for me to stay away from my mother's side of

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Speaker 2: the family. These are microaggressions I've been experienced since I

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Speaker 2: was a child. My cousin is getting married, and while

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Speaker 2: I love her and her parents, I don't love my

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Speaker 2: mother's sisters and their kids. I'm going to skip the

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Speaker 2: wedding and take a vacation to Greece or Italy instead.

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Speaker 2: Maybe Province. That sounds so much better.

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Speaker 1: Where is Province?

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Isn't that like Rhodeye? No, that's Providence. Yeah that's not.

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Speaker 2: D Nah, Yeah that's not right.

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Speaker 1: I might go to Greece or Italy or Rhode Island,

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Speaker 1: or maybe it's the Isle of Rhodes and who knows.

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Speaker 2: By the way, This comes from Quick University eighty eight

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Speaker 2: thirty six, and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay storytime suppured it. I'm Sophia,

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Speaker 2: I'm Dakota, and we're here to give good advice. Goofully,

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Speaker 2: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

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Speaker 2: what we do, So let us know what you would

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Speaker 2: do in the comments. And OHP says I was staying

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Speaker 2: in my aunt's house with my cousin. Another male cousin

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Speaker 2: came to stay for a few days. I was vacuuming

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Speaker 2: and he physically wrangles the vacuum away from me. I

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Speaker 2: try to fight him off, but he's six foot tall

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Speaker 2: and muscular, and I literally couldn't. Does he really want

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Speaker 2: to vacuum that?

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Speaker 1: That is? Is op a lady?

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Speaker 2: Uh? We don't know.

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Speaker 1: I just imagine what if this is all just an

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Speaker 1: attempt to be chivalrous gone wrong.

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Speaker 2: I said, no, you shouldn't be kick your feet up,

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Speaker 2: you shouldn't be vacuuming.

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Speaker 1: No woman will do chores on my.

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Speaker 2: I went downstairs to tell my cousin so she could

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Speaker 2: get it away from him, but she was talking to

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Speaker 2: my aunt. I sat on the couch and waited for

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Speaker 2: them to finish. I was diagnosed with add as a

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Speaker 2: very young child, and I started watching something on my

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Speaker 2: phone and got totally distracted. She came up to me

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Speaker 2: and started screaming at me, saying I am so rude

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Speaker 2: for letting guests do housework, and berating me so meanly.

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Speaker 2: She did not let me get a word in, and

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Speaker 2: I was literally overpowered and trying to do the right thing.

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Speaker 2: We were walking through the mall when the same cousin

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Speaker 2: turned to me and snapped in the rudest tone, everybody

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Speaker 2: knows you're the pretty one. Everyone knows you're the pretty one.

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Speaker 1: Starting to get real confused here, Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think I think he's starting to be nice too,

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Speaker 2: but he.

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Speaker 1: Does it really aggressively. I really don't know what to think.

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Speaker 2: He's like, stop, i'll do it, give me the back,

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Speaker 2: and he starts back because we know that he started

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Speaker 2: acting because yeah, because was the mom or the aunt kid.

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Speaker 1: She's like, Okay, how dare you? How dare you?

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Speaker 2: Dare you?

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Speaker 1: And then you just I don't know, it just comes

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Speaker 1: down to like a you know, debate class kind of technique.

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Speaker 2: I think the issue that we're finding here is tone.

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Speaker 2: Cousin just doesn't know how to do the right tone.

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Speaker 2: He wants to do good things, but they just come

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Speaker 2: out wrong. We were in the car, all of us cousins.

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Speaker 2: I'm very intelligent, as is my brother. He didn't say

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Speaker 2: you're stupid, he said you just the pretty one. I

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Speaker 2: know something about everything and know a lot of things

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Speaker 2: because I read a lot and love knowledge and understanding.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but I roll. I gotta roll my eyes

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Speaker 1: a little bit at that.

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Speaker 2: I think must be like a teenage girl.

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Speaker 1: I'm just a teen age girly baby.

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Speaker 2: A top that came up and I started speaking on it,

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Speaker 2: making the same cousin insecure. I guess she started making

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Speaker 2: sad faces. My other male cousin turned to me and

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Speaker 2: told me to shut up.

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Speaker 1: Sorry, how did you do that? Sometimes I do that

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Speaker 1: and it scares me already.

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Speaker 2: Crying, but I hid it from everyone. This is so sad.

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Speaker 1: Wait.

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Speaker 2: So he's just like, oh my god, did you hear

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Speaker 2: about how like whales eat krill? And they were like

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Speaker 2: shot up.

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Speaker 1: But she was like, shut up. Surely everyone knows you

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Speaker 1: know about porpoises. You don't care, don't freaking care. Wait,

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Speaker 1: No whales are mammals. Yeah, do dolphins are Dang it,

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Speaker 1: she'd be so disappointed in me.

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Speaker 2: Shut up, everyone Knowsang. It really broke my heart, but

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Speaker 2: never my self confidence and self belief.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. I know this is really serious for Opie,

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Speaker 1: but this is kind of hilarious. It's just kind of funny.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, it's.

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Speaker 2: Just kind of funny. I was in my cousin's room

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Speaker 2: and my eyeshadow palette broke in her cupboard. I was

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Speaker 2: terrified of what my cousin would say and how she

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Speaker 2: would scream at me, so I locked the door and

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Speaker 2: began cleaning it up with makeup wipes as quickly as

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Speaker 2: I could. There was powder everywhere and it was hard

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Speaker 2: to clean it all up.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so I get it right. Everyone is afraid of

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Speaker 1: someone being like, oh you something broke and it's your fault. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but the solution can't be locking yourself in the room

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Speaker 1: and trying to clean it up before anyone notices because

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Speaker 1: dad's wrong.

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Speaker 2: Just clean it up.

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Speaker 1: You just got to say, yeah, this happened, I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: I'm taking care of it. Hear it.

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Speaker 2: I opened the door and she started yelling at me, saying,

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Speaker 2: I'm so rude. Now, dare I lock a door to

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Speaker 2: a room in someone else's house it's her sister's room.

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Speaker 2: Blah blah blah. My father's sisters have always showered me

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Speaker 2: with jewelry and really tasteful pieces. Other people don't even

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Speaker 2: know where to buy.

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Speaker 1: It's just funny. It's just there's no way around it.

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Speaker 2: No one knows where to buy these really tasteful pieces.

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Speaker 2: Oh piece just sounds rich.

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Speaker 1: Now, rich and smart and gny.

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Speaker 2: I didn't know, but I guess this has always made

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Speaker 2: my cousin's insecure. My mother's sister came up to me

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Speaker 2: one day randomly out of bloody nowhere, dragging my cousin

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Speaker 2: along with her. She shoved the cousin's hand in my

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Speaker 2: face and said, look at the ring I brought her.

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Speaker 2: It's got diamonds and rubies and this, and that it

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Speaker 2: was for her birthday. Ten years later, she randomly pulled

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Speaker 2: off a ring off her hand with a loud sigh

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Speaker 2: and handed it to me. I got rid of it, begone,

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Speaker 2: which the same aunt did this to me with her

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Speaker 2: daughter in law, who I've always been kind to and

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Speaker 2: given loads of expensive makeup and gifts to in my life.

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Speaker 2: Out of my own earnings. She turns to me at

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Speaker 2: my cousin's wedding when we're in the car, saying, look

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Speaker 2: at the anklets we bought your sister in law the

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Speaker 2: real diamonds. I was flabbergasted. Why would anyone spend that

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Speaker 2: much money on a pair of anklets?

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Speaker 1: Oh, pie, I'm gonna just say this. I think we

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Speaker 1: need to learn how to master our emotions.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, my sister in law began sort of showing them

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Speaker 2: off with a smug look on her face. I mean,

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Speaker 2: to be fair, they seem pretty nice, like they're meant

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Speaker 2: to be shown off.

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Speaker 1: You might be a little smug about that.

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Speaker 2: When I met that daughter in law for the first time,

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Speaker 2: I made her really insecure because I dress very nicely

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Speaker 2: and do my makeup very nicely. I was only seventeen.

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Speaker 2: My aunt told me to wear less makeup and jewelry

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Speaker 2: because of that. Than kept singing her praises around me. Begone,

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Speaker 2: which get your evil eyes off my face? Makeup, jewelry

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Speaker 2: and clothes you and your daughter in law. The docter

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Speaker 2: in law would always have some weird microaggressions around me.

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Speaker 2: She made fun of me or spoke rudely about trips

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Speaker 2: I want to go on, which other people have gone on.

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Speaker 2: She was trying to establish her intelligence over mine. Girl,

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Speaker 2: if you were smarter, you wouldn't have to speak to

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Speaker 2: me that way. She even told me being a doctor

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Speaker 2: isn't worth it and tried to dissuade me from pursuing medicine.

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Speaker 2: I'm a scientist who will get her PhD, a more

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Speaker 2: advanced degree where you actually discover something new and invent something,

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Speaker 2: which I've already done in my role as a research scientist.

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Speaker 2: So now we know that ops, not a teenage girl.

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Speaker 1: Maybe a great thing to say when you're writing a

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Speaker 1: Reddit post and you're seventeen I must and you're not

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Speaker 1: technically allowed to write it? Is you go? I was seventeen.

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Speaker 2: I was seventeen, But now I have a PhD and

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Speaker 2: I do research job.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I have a PhD in science and I'm in

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Speaker 1: charge of making all of the medicine.

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Speaker 2: And I'm smart and you're dumb.

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Speaker 1: I think the moral of this story so far is

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Speaker 1: learning to just be comfortable with yourself, yeah, without having

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Speaker 1: it be impacted by the stinky opinions or words of other.

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Speaker 2: Typically, you already know that you got nice stuff. You're smart,

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Speaker 2: you're pretty, got cool jewelry, great makeup.

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Speaker 1: You rock.

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Speaker 2: Who cares if they're all, like, you know, trying to

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Speaker 2: show off to you, because you apparently have self confidence

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Speaker 2: to be like, I'm so much better than them. When

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Speaker 2: my cousin was getting married, she came to the venue.

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Speaker 2: I went up to her so excited because she was

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Speaker 2: dressed as a bride. She told me straight to my face,

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Speaker 2: get out of my way. Annie. She was just going

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Speaker 2: into a room to wait for the time when she

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Speaker 2: had to end to the wedding hall. I didn't do

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Speaker 2: anything wrong. I live on different continents here every five years.

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Speaker 1: Maybe, well, I hate to break a teach any wedding day, Annie,

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Speaker 1: you might have been in the way. It's in her

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Speaker 1: wed I don't know if you were in the way.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't there. Yeah, but if someone says get out

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Speaker 1: the way, there's only one thing, and she's.

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Speaker 2: Dressed in her wedding gown and she's probably a little stressed,

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Speaker 2: you might have been in the wrong, Opie. Also, I

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Speaker 2: wouldn't have ever married her husband if I met him

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Speaker 2: in the wild. He's not attractive to me at all. Well, perfect, yes,

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Speaker 2: not marrying him.

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Speaker 1: That's not your husbands, another that you learn from your PhD.

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Speaker 2: As we've established, your cousin is dressed as a bride

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Speaker 2: today on her wedding day, marrying her husband, So you're

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Speaker 2: you're in the clear. When her husband came over, I

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Speaker 2: was only twenty one, and I try to click a

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Speaker 2: selfie with him because we were sitting next to each other.

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Speaker 1: What do you mean?

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Speaker 2: In my family, we were all very close. He's literally

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Speaker 2: my brother.

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Speaker 1: What hold on, hold on, No, you were speaking out

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Speaker 1: of both sides. What's going on?

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Speaker 2: She started freaking out, saying, take the picture with me instead,

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Speaker 2: because she thought he and I looked better together. Did

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Speaker 2: she think bet or did she just want to take

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Speaker 2: a picture with her cousin.

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Speaker 1: I'm kind of glad for all parties involved that you

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Speaker 1: might be skipping the wedding here.

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Speaker 2: No, but she's at this wedding. She's at the wedding.

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Speaker 2: She's at her cousin's way. Wait, no, he's another cousin.

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Speaker 1: I'm skipping the wedding of Yeah, wait whose wedding was this?

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Speaker 2: I think no? But she started off the story saying,

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Speaker 2: I want to skip the wedding, and then we we've

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Speaker 2: got the pudding.

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Speaker 1: Is this the same wedding or a different one. We

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Speaker 1: just had such a switch up. She was like yeah,

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Speaker 1: and she was like, get out of my way. And

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Speaker 1: her husband's so ugly anyway, I was sitting on the

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Speaker 1: couch taking a selfie with him, napping a picture. She says,

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Speaker 1: because we are so close. He's like my brother.

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Speaker 2: She said, I clicked a selfie with him. He's ugly,

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Speaker 2: but he's like my brother. And then my cousin said, hey, wait,

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Speaker 2: I want a picture because she knew tru that I

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Speaker 2: looked better with her ugly husband. Her mom my aunt

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Speaker 2: also felt some way about it. Her elder sister is

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Speaker 2: the same way. She's fine with her husband literally hugging

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Speaker 2: her ugly younger sister and being all brothers sister with

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Speaker 2: her taking loads of pics. But with me, she freaks

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Speaker 2: if she sees us talking. I have a beautiful house

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Speaker 2: in India. That's my father's property, built by my grandparents.

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Speaker 1: Using articles, hold on time out, I just want to

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Speaker 1: really quickly say, your father has a beautiful property in India, right, Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Is that something they didn't teach you at PhD school?

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Speaker 2: This is like rich, rich, rich people in India that

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Speaker 2: have a lot of money comes from a wealthy.

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Speaker 1: Family floating it out there. Yeah, I don't think Op

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Speaker 1: has a PhD yet. I think it's like on the table.

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Speaker 1: I'm working towards it. I don't think we're there.

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Speaker 2: I think, well, maybe she's like in school persona, but

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Speaker 2: like like when like med students are like, yeah, I'm

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Speaker 2: a doctor. Yes, I'd feel like it's that level.

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Speaker 1: Could be.

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Speaker 2: I was discussing it with my brother's sister and she said,

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Speaker 2: but it isn't pretty on the inside though, and added,

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Speaker 2: my husband has an even bigger house. I woke up

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Speaker 2: my aunt's house and went downstairs. I saw there were

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Speaker 2: dishes and immediately began washing them. My uncle comes up

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Speaker 2: to me and says, you never do any housework?

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Speaker 1: Do you?

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Speaker 2: Snarling at me out of nowhere, But you're literally washing

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Speaker 2: the He came up to you while you were washing

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Speaker 2: the dishes and said you never do housework.

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Speaker 1: He's like, I could tell by the way you're washing

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Speaker 1: those dishes you've never.

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Speaker 2: Met a day you're live. Maybe that's what he meant.

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Speaker 2: Maybe he was like, you're washing those dishes so poorly.

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Speaker 2: You probably have like people who wash your dishes for you.

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Speaker 1: And that's when you just go you want to.

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Speaker 2: Wash the dishes, get in their bud. The malice in

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Speaker 2: his voice was something else. I was walking into the

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Speaker 2: living room and my phone light was on, and he

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Speaker 2: started yelling at me, asking me why I had it on.

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Speaker 2: All the lights were on in the house, so it

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Speaker 2: was barely noticeable. My aunt told me I can't have

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Speaker 2: anything at my wedding, that her daughters didn't have it theirs.

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Speaker 2: Well ignore her. Then she told me to marry a

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Speaker 2: guy in the UK and wear my cousin's hideous old

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Speaker 2: wedding dress that she wore for her own wedding. I

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Speaker 2: told my cousin that I was and her sister. I

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Speaker 2: was her cousin because of the way they have always

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Speaker 2: treated me. Well, I think what op is saying is that,

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Speaker 2: like a lot of these people are like siblings, maybe culturally,

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Speaker 2: and so she's saying, you're not my sister because of

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Speaker 2: the way that you treated me.

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Speaker 1: Oh, okay, so you're not my sister, but your husband,

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Speaker 1: who's ugly but nice, is my brother. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think that's like the vibe. I think everyone is

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Speaker 2: like sister brother. Gosh, unless you are mean, in which

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Speaker 2: case you're just cousin.

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Speaker 1: It's the Sister Brother Wife show.

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Speaker 2: She told me I was a nafty girl and said,

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Speaker 2: look at the mirror. Crazy. They have never treated me

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Speaker 2: as a sister. Both girls are older than me and

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Speaker 2: they never reach out to ask me how I am

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Speaker 2: or talk to me. Then they have the gall to say,

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Speaker 2: whenever you leave the UK, we don't hear from you

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Speaker 2: for five years. Like I was a kid, it's the

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Speaker 2: adult's responsibility to maintain relations. At my cousin's wedding, we

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Speaker 2: were dancing and I accidentally hid her face lightly with

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Speaker 2: my finger and she literally yelled at me and stormed off.

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Speaker 2: I was about to burst into tears. Then she came

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Speaker 2: back and said, it's okay. When I was seventeen, my

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Speaker 2: older cousin was getting married. I come from a religious

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Speaker 2: family and my mom doesn't do hairstyles. She covers her head.

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Speaker 2: The cousin getting married had her hair done a certain

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Speaker 2: way for her pre wedding function, and I knew nothing

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Speaker 2: about hairstyles. My other cousin and I were bridesmaids. Everyone

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Speaker 2: including her mom, wanted us to match, got us the

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Speaker 2: same clothes the whole nine yards. My cousin and I

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Speaker 2: asked the hairstylist on the day of the wedding for

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Speaker 2: the same style, and she was so mad at me.

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Speaker 2: I didn't know what else to ask for. I said,

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Speaker 2: do what you did in my cousin a few days ago,

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Speaker 2: because I had no other reference. Then we went to

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Speaker 2: get our makeup done for the reception and she asked

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Speaker 2: the hairstylist to change her hair. Then she got mad

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Speaker 2: at me because we both asked for smoky eyes. Smoky

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Speaker 2: eyes are what you do for a wedding reception. She

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Speaker 2: kept ranting that everyone wants us to match, snapping on

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Speaker 2: and off the entire day. But there is a little

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Speaker 2: bit left to this story. Any final thoughts for our

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Speaker 2: young protagonists.

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Speaker 1: There's clearly a lot of moving pieces. Yeah, to the

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Speaker 1: interrelational dynamics.

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Speaker 2: I think, oh, he's just like a young girl somewhere

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Speaker 2: in the age of seventeen to twenty one. And I

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Speaker 2: think that she's dealing with a lot of like pattie

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Speaker 2: behavior from cousins and also just like mean behavior from

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Speaker 2: cousins and family, maybe because she's wealthier than them and

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Speaker 2: there is like a little bit of jealousy and stuff.

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Speaker 2: But I think that there also seems to be a

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Speaker 2: little bit of like snootiness on Ope's part too. It's

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Speaker 2: kind of good.

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Speaker 1: There's a boat, there's a both sides.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely.

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Speaker 1: I think at the end of the day, everyone here

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Speaker 1: has been a little bit of a silly baby.

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Speaker 2: I agree. If you want advice for what you need

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Speaker 2: to do, it's just ignore these people. And it's hard,

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Speaker 2: but like, don't let them get under your skin. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's my.

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Speaker 1: Ad need to have a concrete vision of what who

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Speaker 1: you want to be and who you are and know

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Speaker 1: that just because someone is like, like has like a

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Speaker 1: rude tone in their voice, does it mean that that

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Speaker 1: has to then like rule your emotions for however long

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Speaker 1: it does. You can just go, well, that guy was

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Speaker 1: being a silly baby yelling at me about doing the dishes.

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Speaker 1: That's crazy. Yeah, it's And I'm gonna move on.

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Speaker 2: Confident you said multiple times at you're confident, to just

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Speaker 2: like assert that and be like, you know what, I'm confident.

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Speaker 2: I know I'm doing it, so it's fine. Whatever. But

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Speaker 2: there's a little bit left. At one of the pre

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Speaker 2: wedding functions for her sister's wedding, I went outside with

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Speaker 2: my other cousins to chill out and laugh and talk.

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Speaker 2: She came stalking after me and snapped at me rudely

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Speaker 2: for being outside while I'm a bridesmaid. They needed nothing

357
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Speaker 2: from me, no tasks at all. I honestly don't want

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Speaker 2: to be around any of these people. I don't like them,

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Speaker 2: I don't enjoy spending time with them. I don't consider

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Speaker 2: them to be my family. Would I be wrong for

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Speaker 2: not attending the wedding and not keeping relationships with any

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Speaker 2: of them in the future. So I guess there is

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Speaker 2: another wedding coming up, and know people, boy, if you

364
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Speaker 2: should go to it, honestly.

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Speaker 1: I think you should. I think you should, and you

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Speaker 1: should practice not letting these people bother you.

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Speaker 2: I was gonna say, I feel like there's a lot

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Speaker 2: of cultural stuff that comes into play with not showing

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Speaker 2: up to a wedding, and like a big event like this,

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Speaker 2: so take into account how much harassment you would get

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Speaker 2: from not showing up to the Wedding's just like a

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Speaker 2: little bit of harassment on the day of.

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Speaker 1: I think this is a really good practice practice opportunity

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Speaker 1: because I think your.

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Speaker 2: Options right now are like learn out of kind of

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Speaker 2: just push their annoying behavior to the side, or cut

377
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Speaker 2: them off which I don't think you want to do. So, yeah,

378
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Speaker 2: I think it's just learning how to do that. But

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Speaker 2: that's the end of that story, and we've got another

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Speaker 2: one coming right up.

381
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Speaker 1: Yes we do. I want my overprotective aunt to leave.

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00:17:51,119 --> 00:17:51,760
Speaker 2: Get out of you.

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Speaker 1: So my sister, Kelly sixteen, female, is a hemophiliac. Luckily,

384
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Speaker 1: her case is pretty mild and it only really plays

385
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Speaker 1: a role when she has a major injury or needs surgery.

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Speaker 1: We do keep her out of sports. Lucky kid got

387
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Speaker 1: to sit out of gym class a lot. That's not lucky.

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Speaker 1: Jim class was fun.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I liked Jim class. There was we had like

390
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:16,440
Speaker 2: two girls who always sat out of gym class. I

391
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:19,199
Speaker 2: think as they had like some doctor's note or something.

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Speaker 2: I think they liked it. Though, you don't ever want

393
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Speaker 2: to just.

394
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Speaker 1: Not use your body.

395
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Speaker 2: You gotta use your body.

396
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Speaker 1: You only get so much time with your body before

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Speaker 1: it breaks apart.

398
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Speaker 2: M m. Yeah, someone get rasputant in here. If only

399
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Speaker 2: you get that reference right? But do you understand why

400
00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:38,359
Speaker 2: I brought it up in this case? Oh?

401
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:46,160
Speaker 1: Because the boy had Yeah, yes, okay, didn't understand the joke.

402
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,959
Speaker 1: I thought you were saying it because of my broken body. Nope.

403
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Speaker 2: Anyway, she does have to be.

404
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:54,000
Speaker 1: A little more careful, but it really doesn't play a

405
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:56,840
Speaker 1: major role in her daily life, and for the most part,

406
00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:59,640
Speaker 1: she's a normal teenager except for when there's a full

407
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,520
Speaker 1: moon and she turns into a wolf. We only found

408
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,120
Speaker 1: out about her condition after a surgery when she was eight,

409
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:07,320
Speaker 1: and as far as we know, there's no history of

410
00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:09,680
Speaker 1: it on either side of the family. By the way,

411
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:11,359
Speaker 1: this comes from us, your hemo throw and if you

412
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:12,879
Speaker 1: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

413
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Speaker 1: slash Okay storytime subrendit. I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia, and we're

414
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:18,720
Speaker 1: here to give you good advice. Goofley, but we don't

415
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:20,359
Speaker 1: have all the answers. We only know what we would do,

416
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:22,159
Speaker 1: so if you would do something different, let us know

417
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:26,000
Speaker 1: in the comments. And Op says, the problem is my

418
00:19:26,119 --> 00:19:29,960
Speaker 1: aunt Lana Forty's female. She's the kind of person who

419
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:33,439
Speaker 1: worries about everything and then gets hysterical over it. So

420
00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:36,240
Speaker 1: when my parents first told the family about Kelly's condition,

421
00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:41,199
Speaker 1: she freaked out. Despite numerous attempts to explain Kelly's hemophilia

422
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:44,800
Speaker 1: isn't severe, She's basically convinced Kelly could end up in

423
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Speaker 1: the ICU from a paper cut. More than one family

424
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:51,920
Speaker 1: function was almost ruined by aunt Lana hysterically screaming upon

425
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:55,040
Speaker 1: seeing Kelly playing tag with our cousins outside, which I

426
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:55,560
Speaker 1: feel like, is.

427
00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:59,200
Speaker 2: So frustrating for Kelly to, you know, have to deal with,

428
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,600
Speaker 2: you know, she's try a little normal child life. And

429
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Speaker 2: then Iron is like, dam damn it, stop it.

430
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Speaker 1: You're gonna turn into a wall and those kids are

431
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:13,399
Speaker 1: in danger. What if that's that'd Beth, that's what she

432
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:16,040
Speaker 1: really thinks, or she thinks that she's a vampire, so

433
00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:19,240
Speaker 1: if there's any other blood out there, then she's gonna

434
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:22,320
Speaker 1: get like these blood The Edward Colin like.

435
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:25,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, she thinks that she's really into blood.

436
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:29,320
Speaker 1: Luckily, aunt Lana lives an hour away, so we didn't

437
00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:33,080
Speaker 1: see her too often outside of the usual family functions. However,

438
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:37,160
Speaker 1: recently various things happened and Aunt Lana needs to stay

439
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,600
Speaker 1: in our city for about a month. Since hotel rates

440
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:41,720
Speaker 1: here can fluctuate a bit around this time of year,

441
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:43,760
Speaker 1: my parents offered to let her stay with us instead.

442
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:47,000
Speaker 1: She accepted and moved into the guest room about a

443
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:50,879
Speaker 1: week ago. Since then, she's basically become a helicopter parent

444
00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:54,440
Speaker 1: to Kelly and is smothering her. She's freaked out over

445
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,160
Speaker 1: Kelly's health more times than I can count, and it's

446
00:20:57,240 --> 00:21:00,760
Speaker 1: not fun for Kelly or me. So examples of Aunt

447
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:05,240
Speaker 1: Lana's more notable episodes on trash Day, Kelly's bus usually

448
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:08,320
Speaker 1: arrived shortly after the garbage truck come by, so she

449
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,080
Speaker 1: brings up the trash can on her way to the

450
00:21:10,119 --> 00:21:13,320
Speaker 1: house if I haven't yet. When aunt Lana saw this,

451
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:16,840
Speaker 1: she ran out and snatched the trash can, scolding Kelly

452
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,240
Speaker 1: for possibly getting hurt if the trash can turned over,

453
00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:22,119
Speaker 1: apparently it would somehow fall on her and squish her

454
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:22,919
Speaker 1: like a bug.

455
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:25,080
Speaker 2: And at that point, I feel like you gotta go

456
00:21:25,119 --> 00:21:29,120
Speaker 2: to your parents and say, hey, aunt Lana's acting inappropriately.

457
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:33,440
Speaker 2: This is, you know, bothering both Kelly and I and

458
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,840
Speaker 2: it's not helpful for Kelly. And if your parents don't

459
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:38,720
Speaker 2: treat Kelly like that, then hopefully they would be supportive

460
00:21:38,720 --> 00:21:39,480
Speaker 2: of you and your sister.

461
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:41,920
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think there also needs to come a time

462
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:47,679
Speaker 1: where Kelly, yeah, I'm sixteen, sixteen, I stop it. Yeah,

463
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:50,840
Speaker 1: I'm not a bug. Yeah that will be swished by

464
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:54,160
Speaker 1: the trash can. You need to leave me alone about

465
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:57,879
Speaker 1: this stuff. Kelly likes to sculpt clay statues. Some of

466
00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:01,320
Speaker 1: her tools have sharp edges, and Kelly working on something.

467
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:05,440
Speaker 1: Alana confiscated the tools and hid them and she won't

468
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:07,160
Speaker 1: tell us where they are again.

469
00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:10,679
Speaker 2: Talk to your parents, say hey, this is totally inappropriate.

470
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,720
Speaker 2: She cannot, like, I don't. We don't want her to

471
00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:15,120
Speaker 2: stay here. If she's gonna keep doing this, like, tell

472
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:15,800
Speaker 2: her to stop.

473
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 1: It's it's absurd. It sounds like she I don't know

474
00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:21,480
Speaker 1: what it sounds like. I asked Kelly to get the mail.

475
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:24,560
Speaker 1: When she came inside, Aunt Lana intercepted her and freaked

476
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:26,680
Speaker 1: out over her potentially getting a paper cut just from

477
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:29,480
Speaker 1: holding the other Does she think all of the blood

478
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:32,040
Speaker 1: in your body's gonna spill out of you if you

479
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:35,440
Speaker 1: have a cut. What is wrong with this lady? Yeah,

480
00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:37,000
Speaker 1: she just uneducated.

481
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,160
Speaker 2: I think so. And they also told her that it's

482
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 2: not even like an aggressive Obviously, you have to be

483
00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:44,520
Speaker 2: careful when you have humophilia about like any sort of

484
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:49,639
Speaker 2: like injuries and stuff. But the fact that she clearly

485
00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:53,320
Speaker 2: doesn't know anything and is being, you know, hyper vigilant

486
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:56,200
Speaker 2: about Kelly's life and not letting her live. It is

487
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,280
Speaker 2: a problem that needs to be addressed by your parents.

488
00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:00,919
Speaker 1: It's not like she's like I want to be a

489
00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:04,440
Speaker 1: traveling circus performer where knives get thrown at me all day,

490
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:06,240
Speaker 1: Like that's not.

491
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:08,040
Speaker 2: Happening, not happening. Ugh.

492
00:23:08,359 --> 00:23:11,199
Speaker 1: When I tried to intervene at how ridiculous this was,

493
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:15,080
Speaker 1: Aunt Lana accused me of being neglectful and not caring

494
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:18,320
Speaker 1: enough about my sister. Our couch is old and the

495
00:23:18,359 --> 00:23:20,640
Speaker 1: cushions sink in around the edges when you sit down,

496
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:23,000
Speaker 1: and between two of the cushions is a spot where

497
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:26,879
Speaker 1: the edges of some springs or piping are partially exposed.

498
00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:30,440
Speaker 1: If you're sitting it's totally harmless, but if you're laying down,

499
00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:32,560
Speaker 1: it can snag on your pants and tear them when

500
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:35,200
Speaker 1: you get up. I'm usually the only one who actually

501
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:37,960
Speaker 1: lies down on it, but recently my aunt discovered this

502
00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:42,600
Speaker 1: q panic about what if Kelly gets scratched, and heavy

503
00:23:42,640 --> 00:23:46,159
Speaker 1: insistence that my parents buy a new couch. This one.

504
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:49,160
Speaker 1: I don't mind that couch needs replacing anyway, No one's fair.

505
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,879
Speaker 1: You could have not included that one. Yeah, we have

506
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:55,560
Speaker 1: a dog. This dog needs walking in playtime. Kelly likes

507
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,480
Speaker 1: doing both. Aunt Lana does not like Kelly doing either.

508
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,440
Speaker 1: She refuses to let Kelly do either, claiming she could

509
00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:04,240
Speaker 1: slip and fall and get hurt on the walk entire

510
00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:07,440
Speaker 1: blocks away from our house, or the dog might get

511
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:10,639
Speaker 1: excited and accidentally hurt her while playing. So dog duties

512
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:12,800
Speaker 1: have fallen one hundred percent on me, which is not

513
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 1: totally ideal since I have homework, including two online classes.

514
00:24:16,119 --> 00:24:18,200
Speaker 2: Wait, I don't understand what's going on with me either.

515
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:20,639
Speaker 2: What do you mean she won't let you do that?

516
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:22,560
Speaker 2: But where where are your parents?

517
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:24,040
Speaker 1: Why is she the authority?

518
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:27,040
Speaker 2: Yeah? I don't understand why your parents are allowing her

519
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:29,679
Speaker 2: to have any authority over you guys, and what your

520
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:30,360
Speaker 2: chores are.

521
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:32,840
Speaker 1: I think what might be happening is like, I don't know,

522
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,560
Speaker 1: we don't know what happened to make her live here

523
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:38,040
Speaker 1: for a month. Yeah, but I bet I don't think

524
00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:42,040
Speaker 1: Lana's going to work. Yeah, and maybe OPI's parents are.

525
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:44,959
Speaker 1: And so while they're not there, Aunt Lana's just like

526
00:24:45,119 --> 00:24:47,640
Speaker 1: running rampant and it's crazy.

527
00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:49,200
Speaker 2: Parents, Why are they letting this happen?

528
00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:52,200
Speaker 1: You need to resist what happened? A good old fashioned

529
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:53,320
Speaker 1: teenage rebellion.

530
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:56,400
Speaker 2: Literally, just start walking that dog anyway. What you gonna do? Yeah,

531
00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:57,840
Speaker 2: hurt You can't.

532
00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:01,000
Speaker 1: Guess what if she follows you around, screaming at you

533
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:04,920
Speaker 1: and threatening you, she'll get arrested because yeah.

534
00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:07,159
Speaker 2: If she tries to grab you, you go my hmophilia.

535
00:25:07,520 --> 00:25:11,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, play on her fears. Yes, aunt Lana has

536
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:15,920
Speaker 1: shown an increasing resistance to Kelly leaving the house in general.

537
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:18,560
Speaker 1: She walks with Kelly to the bus stop in the mornings,

538
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:21,600
Speaker 1: and since the trash can incident, she started waiting there

539
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:24,639
Speaker 1: in the afternoons. Kelly wants to go outside for any reason,

540
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,919
Speaker 1: even just to look at a bird in the backyard,

541
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:29,679
Speaker 1: Aunt Lana would follow her and fuss over her the

542
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 1: entire time. Not fun. This is how you create like

543
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:37,560
Speaker 1: a monster. Yeah, this is only a month, but imagine

544
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 1: if her parents had been this way. Yeah, if I

545
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:43,919
Speaker 1: was Kelly, I'd be like, first opportunity I get, I'm

546
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:48,080
Speaker 1: riding a motorcycle backwards with no helmet, I'm doing handstands

547
00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:51,360
Speaker 1: while walking across, swinging swords.

548
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:52,399
Speaker 2: And you do more dangerous stuff.

549
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,639
Speaker 1: Yeah. This Sunday, Kelly and I wanted to go to

550
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:59,960
Speaker 1: the mall, but Lana insisted on coming along to chaperona

551
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:03,400
Speaker 1: this loser. You literally could just God and weave. You're

552
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:07,199
Speaker 1: just such well behaved children. Yeah, our parents pressured us

553
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:10,480
Speaker 1: to accept because it was just one time, and the

554
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:13,639
Speaker 1: trip was absolutely miserable for both of us. I'm still

555
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:15,760
Speaker 1: mad at our parents for making us take her. They

556
00:26:16,160 --> 00:26:17,640
Speaker 1: told your parents anything else?

557
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:19,240
Speaker 2: What do they know because they're saying it's just one

558
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:21,879
Speaker 2: time when this has been going on for this whole month.

559
00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:24,920
Speaker 1: Bad as this all is. Everything really came to a

560
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:29,160
Speaker 1: head yesterday. Kelly had yesterday and today off for fall break,

561
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:31,880
Speaker 1: and we were left alone with Aunt Lana while our

562
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 1: parents were at work. She took this to mean she

563
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,800
Speaker 1: was in charge. Yesterday, Kelly planned to go to the

564
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:41,119
Speaker 1: movies with her friends, but Aunt Lana refused to let

565
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:45,439
Speaker 1: her go, and I mean she outright refused going was

566
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:49,119
Speaker 1: not an option. When her friends arrived, she basically chased

567
00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:52,640
Speaker 1: them off, while Kelly just locked herself in her room crying.

568
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:57,200
Speaker 1: I've never been more furious. Luckily for us, one of

569
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:59,159
Speaker 1: our neighbors is a great stay at home mom, and

570
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 1: after I told her about the situation today, she invited

571
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:04,840
Speaker 1: Lana over to distract her for a few hours. So

572
00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:07,760
Speaker 1: Kelly could sneak out and see the movie with her friends.

573
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:10,520
Speaker 2: But honestly, like, if you're already sneaking out at that

574
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:13,280
Speaker 2: point to go, I don't know. I mean, I guess

575
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:16,280
Speaker 2: I wouldn't do this because if some authority figures started

576
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:18,479
Speaker 2: yelling at me and I was sixteen, I probably wouldn't go.

577
00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:19,720
Speaker 2: I guess she's an authority thing.

578
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:21,439
Speaker 1: I mean, if it was because of X, Y and

579
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:23,320
Speaker 1: Z reason instead of just like.

580
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:26,000
Speaker 3: Because if you go to the movies you will dissolve

581
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:29,320
Speaker 3: into a buddle of grease. Yeah, I would be like

582
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:32,959
Speaker 3: the most rebellious person on hers. I'd start doing like

583
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:35,560
Speaker 3: cartwheels and somersaults in the house.

584
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 2: Really, I just I'd be like stop, stop, and I'd.

585
00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:43,360
Speaker 1: Be like, look, I'm gonna cut onions. Ooh, what happens

586
00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:46,119
Speaker 1: if I nicked my finger and all of the blood

587
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:49,400
Speaker 1: in my body pours out of me like a fire hose.

588
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,159
Speaker 2: Genuinely, I feel like you. I mean, I don't want

589
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:55,240
Speaker 2: you to put your life in danger, but like, is

590
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 2: there any way that we can just start She says

591
00:27:57,520 --> 00:27:59,639
Speaker 2: that the outside world is dangerous? Can we prove that

592
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:00,959
Speaker 2: the end world is dangerous?

593
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:03,520
Speaker 1: Let's make the inside world very dangerous.

594
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:05,840
Speaker 2: I don't know, maybe that will make it worse.

595
00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:08,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, the fact that we had to go to these

596
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:13,719
Speaker 1: extremes at all just makes me furious. Kelly shouldn't have

597
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:16,119
Speaker 1: to sneak out of her house to see a movie,

598
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:18,840
Speaker 1: and we shouldn't need a giant complex plan to get

599
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:22,040
Speaker 1: around this woman. We shouldn't need to worry about constant

600
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:25,199
Speaker 1: meltdowns and her policing all of our actions. Twenty four

601
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:27,840
Speaker 1: to seven, and we still have another three weeks with

602
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,959
Speaker 1: this woman. She's this bad after just a week. We

603
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:34,080
Speaker 1: can't live with her any longer. We've tried talking to

604
00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:37,680
Speaker 1: our parents about all of this earlier, but so far

605
00:28:37,800 --> 00:28:40,640
Speaker 1: they don't understand just how bad it is because most

606
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:43,520
Speaker 1: of these episodes happened while they were at work. They

607
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:46,360
Speaker 1: think we're exaggerating and just tell us to put up

608
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 1: with it because she's family. But the stress is eating

609
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:50,080
Speaker 1: us alive.

610
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:53,960
Speaker 2: I don't know. Maybe the approach is saying like, okay, well,

611
00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 2: when she says that we can't go out, can we

612
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:59,000
Speaker 2: go out? And they say, oh yeah, you know, Like

613
00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:02,720
Speaker 2: see what they say to that, just ask like, okay, yeah,

614
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:05,320
Speaker 2: she's behaving like this, You guys don't really care. Do

615
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:07,120
Speaker 2: we have permission to ignore her?

616
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:09,760
Speaker 1: And there's also this thing that you might have even

617
00:29:09,840 --> 00:29:12,880
Speaker 1: used to write this post where you can record your

618
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:17,120
Speaker 1: aunt having these freakouts, because I assume when her friend

619
00:29:17,160 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 1: showed up and you said she chased them out, she

620
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:23,000
Speaker 1: probably did go ahead and go. You have to leave

621
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:25,280
Speaker 1: this child. This a sick child.

622
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:25,800
Speaker 2: Deck.

623
00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:29,720
Speaker 1: You can't have this sick child. She's sick, She's sick,

624
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:32,960
Speaker 1: All the blood in her body is trying to escape.

625
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:34,160
Speaker 2: Trying to dissolve her.

626
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:37,760
Speaker 1: I work day and night to keep this child safe

627
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 1: from you degenerates.

628
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:40,080
Speaker 2: Yeah.

629
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:43,960
Speaker 1: I even skipped my classes today just to make sure

630
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:47,480
Speaker 1: Lana didn't come back and find Kelly missing. And I

631
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:51,720
Speaker 1: never skipped my classes. It's that serious. After today, Kelly

632
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:53,480
Speaker 1: and I decided we're going to try talking to my

633
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 1: parents again tomorrow. Lana needs to go. You know, she

634
00:29:57,560 --> 00:30:00,360
Speaker 1: can afford the hotel rooms my parents. I did her

635
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:03,480
Speaker 1: only out of familial duty, but that doesn't matter when

636
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:06,440
Speaker 1: it causes this much stress. Kelly says she has a

637
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:09,480
Speaker 1: possible trump card to use in the conversation, but she

638
00:30:09,480 --> 00:30:11,479
Speaker 1: won't tell me what it is because she can't confirm

639
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:13,680
Speaker 1: it until tomorrow. So I don't want to count on.

640
00:30:13,720 --> 00:30:16,480
Speaker 2: It's like, hold on, I've got an idea and he's like,

641
00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:18,560
Speaker 2: what does that? Just hold on.

642
00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:24,080
Speaker 1: You wait, just do dude. Just hold those horses, you

643
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:27,720
Speaker 1: hold them, Hold the horses tight. Reddit, can you give

644
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 1: me some tips on how to best get through to

645
00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:34,040
Speaker 1: our parents that aunt Lana needs to go? And there

646
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:36,479
Speaker 1: is an update? Hey it's Sam. We're gonna get back

647
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:39,200
Speaker 1: to the stories. But here's three minutes bads from our sponsors.

648
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:42,600
Speaker 1: I honestly think that you need the evidence of her

649
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:46,520
Speaker 1: freaking and like your parents should be able to hear like, yeah,

650
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:49,640
Speaker 1: she restricted me from going out to the movies with

651
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:52,840
Speaker 1: my friends and I locked myself in my room and

652
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:53,600
Speaker 1: I was crying.

653
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, and they should hear that and go and maybe

654
00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:58,760
Speaker 2: you have them go ask Lana. I don't think she

655
00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,480
Speaker 2: would lie about it. I feel she might tell it

656
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:03,640
Speaker 2: a little differently. Yeah, But I feel like if they

657
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:06,360
Speaker 2: went and said, hey, did you tell Kelly that she

658
00:31:06,480 --> 00:31:09,080
Speaker 2: can't go to the movies, she'd probably go of course

659
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:10,400
Speaker 2: it's too dangerous.

660
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,880
Speaker 1: She'd probably be like, I'm glad you brought this up there. Actually,

661
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:16,120
Speaker 1: I don't think she should have actually been meaning to

662
00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:18,720
Speaker 1: talk to you about this. I've been here for a

663
00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:23,280
Speaker 1: week and the amount of danger that you put Kelly through,

664
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:26,080
Speaker 1: frankly sickens me to my core.

665
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:30,600
Speaker 2: I've actually child locked every cabinet, including the knife drawer.

666
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:32,400
Speaker 2: It's so hard to get into down.

667
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 1: I've dulled all of the forks and spoons as well

668
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:36,920
Speaker 1: as the blades.

669
00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:39,400
Speaker 2: Blunt the knives. She's only been there for a week.

670
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:41,000
Speaker 1: She's going to be there for a month.

671
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:44,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I will say it does kind of make

672
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:47,040
Speaker 2: sense why the parents are probably a little bit more

673
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:50,120
Speaker 2: like or not listening as much because she's only been

674
00:31:50,160 --> 00:31:51,960
Speaker 2: there for a week. So they'm like, God, it's only

675
00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:54,920
Speaker 2: been a week, you know, probably cool down. But I

676
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:58,640
Speaker 2: think just if they don't listen to you, then just ask, hey,

677
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:00,800
Speaker 2: if she says that I can't do this, can I

678
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:03,120
Speaker 2: do it? And then you have, you know, your gut

679
00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:04,000
Speaker 2: and she can't complain.

680
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:07,440
Speaker 1: There you go, Well we have an update. I think

681
00:32:07,520 --> 00:32:10,880
Speaker 1: the parents are gonna get involved here. Oh boy, by

682
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:13,320
Speaker 1: the way, to all the people saying we, especially me

683
00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:16,200
Speaker 1: as a twenty year old, didn't need to listen to her,

684
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:19,680
Speaker 1: have you ever tried ignoring or reasoning with a hysterical

685
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:22,479
Speaker 1: middle aged woman practically screeching at the top of her

686
00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:25,560
Speaker 1: lungs about how your sister is going to pass away

687
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:28,240
Speaker 1: from a scraped knee if she steps foot outside the

688
00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:31,959
Speaker 1: front door. No, but I it's the same technique every time.

689
00:32:32,560 --> 00:32:33,520
Speaker 1: You just leave.

690
00:32:33,840 --> 00:32:35,600
Speaker 2: I mean, I've never been in this situation, but I

691
00:32:35,640 --> 00:32:39,720
Speaker 2: feel like just leaving that situation is probably the best

692
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 2: thing to do.

693
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:43,400
Speaker 1: You leave, and you do not engage, and then she tells.

694
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:45,760
Speaker 2: Your parents and she said they left, and they go, Well,

695
00:32:45,880 --> 00:32:46,560
Speaker 2: she was allowed to.

696
00:32:46,880 --> 00:32:49,520
Speaker 1: You've got the added layer of if you know, she

697
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 1: tries to restrain Kelly, Yeah, you go, Kelly, goeshmophilia. I

698
00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:58,360
Speaker 1: can I feel the blood.

699
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:02,200
Speaker 2: I can't heal. The blood tried to force its way

700
00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:05,120
Speaker 2: out of every part of me. Was squeezing the blood

701
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:07,880
Speaker 2: out of me. Yeah, and you just play on her fears.

702
00:33:08,080 --> 00:33:10,280
Speaker 2: She can't touch you, man, You squeeze.

703
00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:13,000
Speaker 1: Me too hot on my juice will leave me? You can't.

704
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:16,880
Speaker 1: You cannot reason with this person, especially if she sees

705
00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 1: you as an irresponsible kid. Anyway, onto the update again,

706
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:24,480
Speaker 1: whatever happened to good old fashion rebellion? Yeah, so Aunt

707
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 1: Lana had dinner with a friend on Thursday. So Kelly

708
00:33:27,040 --> 00:33:29,720
Speaker 1: and I decided to talk to our parents then instead

709
00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:32,160
Speaker 1: of Wednesday, so we brought it up during dinner, and

710
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:35,240
Speaker 1: as usual, they dismissed our concerns, saying, oh, that's just

711
00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:37,960
Speaker 1: how Lana is. After trying to get them to listen

712
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 1: for about five minutes, Kelly finally just calmly set down

713
00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 1: her fork, got up and said, okay, then I'll leave instead,

714
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:48,680
Speaker 1: and that got their attention. It turns out the trump

715
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:51,640
Speaker 1: card Kelly mentioned was that one of her friends offered

716
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:54,400
Speaker 1: to let her stay with her family until Aunt Lana left.

717
00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 1: They got the idea last Tuesday while they were driving

718
00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:00,320
Speaker 1: to the movie theater, and after hearing about the situation,

719
00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:04,240
Speaker 1: the friend's parents let Kelly stay with them. In my opinion,

720
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:08,160
Speaker 1: this trump card is really crazy and could have backfired

721
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:12,600
Speaker 1: in a million ways. You are the sweetest little children.

722
00:34:13,840 --> 00:34:16,520
Speaker 2: Her trump card was like, Okay, well I'm sleeping over it,

723
00:34:16,880 --> 00:34:18,600
Speaker 2: Tiffany sy slumber party.

724
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:24,319
Speaker 1: Is the really crazy, backfired in a million ways situation.

725
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:27,719
Speaker 1: I can maybe think of two ways it could have backfired,

726
00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:31,239
Speaker 1: Like one way is that your parents just say no,

727
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:35,640
Speaker 1: or Lana is like I'll sleep over too. Of course,

728
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:39,480
Speaker 1: she couldn't actually stay there without my parents' permission.

729
00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:42,080
Speaker 2: I mean, that's true, you could get charged for kidnapping

730
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:42,680
Speaker 2: she's sixteen.

731
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:45,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, But I mean, are your parents going to like

732
00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:48,719
Speaker 1: call the police for kidnapping on your friend's parents for

733
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:52,719
Speaker 1: offering to let you stay somewhere because your aunt is crazy?

734
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:54,959
Speaker 2: Hopefully not. Your parents don't see crazy. They just seem

735
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 2: kind of like ignorant of what's going on.

736
00:34:57,480 --> 00:35:00,680
Speaker 1: Fortunately for us, though, this did get there at and

737
00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:04,080
Speaker 1: they finally decided to take us seriously. We described the

738
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:06,560
Speaker 1: situation in detail and covered a few of the points

739
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:10,560
Speaker 1: commenters mentioned, particularly about how our parents were enabling her

740
00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:14,040
Speaker 1: behavior due to some other family circumstances. We knew that

741
00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:17,320
Speaker 1: the term enabler would cut them pretty deep, and it did.

742
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:21,520
Speaker 1: This time, they listened without interrupting, and once we finished,

743
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:24,640
Speaker 1: they offered their side. As it turns out, when Atlana

744
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:29,280
Speaker 1: was a kid, her best friend's brother was a severe hemophiliac,

745
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:32,160
Speaker 1: and she got to see the extent of it firsthand

746
00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:35,920
Speaker 1: since she visited their house so much. The brother actually

747
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:39,520
Speaker 1: ended up passing away from complications from an injury, which

748
00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:43,319
Speaker 1: Aunt Lana witnessed, and it was pretty traumatizing for her.

749
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 1: And it all makes and we go.

750
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:49,880
Speaker 2: But why wouldn't I don't know, Like, why wouldn't your

751
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:51,759
Speaker 2: parents tell you all of this?

752
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:54,640
Speaker 1: I agree, what is up with that we have to

753
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:58,240
Speaker 1: shelter our twenty year old and sixteen year old daughters

754
00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:00,239
Speaker 1: from just like what like.

755
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:03,920
Speaker 2: Nana's trauma the reason why she's acting this crazy.

756
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:07,880
Speaker 1: So Kelly's condition brought up a lot of bad memories

757
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:08,239
Speaker 1: for her.

758
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:11,240
Speaker 2: Why would you even want her staying there? Like, honestly,

759
00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:14,799
Speaker 2: it doesn't matterfit Kelly, it doesn't benefit Lana, yeah to

760
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:17,000
Speaker 2: be staying there, And if she can afford to stay

761
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,120
Speaker 2: in the hotel, then I'd be like, hey, it seems

762
00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 2: like this is really triggering when you stay here around Kelly,

763
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:25,560
Speaker 2: So maybe we just you know, we help you out

764
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:26,279
Speaker 2: whenever you need it.

765
00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:29,239
Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean, given the context, it's gonna be

766
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:32,600
Speaker 1: absolutely miserable to just be in like constant panic mode

767
00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:35,480
Speaker 1: all the time, thinking Kelly's just gonna she.

768
00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:37,760
Speaker 2: Can't even think about getting back on her feet, getting

769
00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:40,719
Speaker 2: a job, getting you know, because she's just worrying about.

770
00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:44,040
Speaker 1: Lana, and that, combined with her already anxious nature, is

771
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:47,560
Speaker 1: the main reason mom and dad didn't do much about her. So, yeah,

772
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:49,879
Speaker 1: we do have an explanation now for why they put

773
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:52,319
Speaker 1: up with her for so long. They agreed it wasn't

774
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:54,799
Speaker 1: fair to us to force us to go along with

775
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:57,920
Speaker 1: aunt Lana's wishes and ruin Kelly's social life just so

776
00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:00,640
Speaker 1: they wouldn't have to deal with her freakouts, even for

777
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:03,239
Speaker 1: just a month. When Aunt Lana got back, they sent

778
00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:05,480
Speaker 1: us to our rooms and had a long talk with

779
00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:08,080
Speaker 1: her in private. I don't know exactly what was said,

780
00:37:08,120 --> 00:37:12,200
Speaker 1: but voices were raised, and aunt Lana spent Friday sulking

781
00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:14,759
Speaker 1: in her room for most of the weekend. Auntlana didn't

782
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:17,440
Speaker 1: really talk to us. Then on Sunday, Kelly tried to

783
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:19,600
Speaker 1: take the dog for a walk while my parents were

784
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:23,439
Speaker 1: at the grocery store, and aunt Lana freaked. Long story short,

785
00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:26,600
Speaker 1: Kelly went to her friend's house and is probably staying

786
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:28,520
Speaker 1: there for the rest of the week, and my parents

787
00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:30,279
Speaker 1: have told Aunt Lana she needs to be in a

788
00:37:30,320 --> 00:37:31,760
Speaker 1: hotel by Friday.

789
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,440
Speaker 2: Yay, you only had to deal with her for a week.

790
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:37,520
Speaker 1: Here we go. This is the correct move anyway.

791
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:40,440
Speaker 2: I think that that was good and you only had

792
00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:43,399
Speaker 2: to deal with her for an annoying week, and that's

793
00:37:43,440 --> 00:37:45,520
Speaker 2: better than a lot of people that we read stories

794
00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:47,720
Speaker 2: about so there you go, this is true, but there.

795
00:37:47,640 --> 00:37:49,520
Speaker 1: Is a little bit more to the story. Let's finish

796
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:51,960
Speaker 1: this story. Whoop. There's also a bit of a flame

797
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:54,680
Speaker 1: war on Facebook now because aunt Lana decided to vent

798
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:58,160
Speaker 1: on there about my parents neglecting Kelly and not caring

799
00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:00,480
Speaker 1: about her health, and it's gotten a lot of family

800
00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:03,040
Speaker 1: members riled up, though it's mostly over the fact my

801
00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:06,720
Speaker 1: parents are letting Kelly stay with friends during a school

802
00:38:06,719 --> 00:38:09,840
Speaker 1: week rather than her health. So that's kind of good,

803
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:13,239
Speaker 1: I guess. Yeah. The next big family event is Thanksgiving,

804
00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:16,279
Speaker 1: and I'm pretty sure it's gonna be pretty messy, but

805
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:18,719
Speaker 1: at least we're making some progress now and Kelly is

806
00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:22,080
Speaker 1: safe from aunt Lana's freakouts, So as far as I'm concerned,

807
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:25,200
Speaker 1: this is a pretty good update. With luck. It's the

808
00:38:25,239 --> 00:38:28,520
Speaker 1: only one I'll need. Thank you for your advice, everyone,

809
00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:31,719
Speaker 1: and that is the end of that story. Good luck,

810
00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:33,800
Speaker 1: Wowie zowie, thanksgivin.

811
00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:36,920
Speaker 2: You just say she's alive, she's kick, and she's fine.

812
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:39,959
Speaker 2: When everyone says he got taking care of her health

813
00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:40,960
Speaker 2: and that's it.

814
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:45,000
Speaker 1: You just go, uh oh, Lota, look there's a fork.

815
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:49,360
Speaker 1: What if I touch my finger? With it. Oh what

816
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:51,280
Speaker 1: if I just poke a little Well.

817
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:54,640
Speaker 2: Okay, I guess.

818
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:56,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is all coming from a place of like

819
00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:58,839
Speaker 1: she's actually like so traumatized.

820
00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:01,160
Speaker 2: Traumatized, which is bad because all of the other family

821
00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:03,439
Speaker 2: members are like riling r up and taking her side

822
00:39:03,480 --> 00:39:05,960
Speaker 2: when this woman is clearly deeply traumatized.

823
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:10,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, she just needs like she understand like that this

824
00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:13,839
Speaker 1: is at the same situation she was in with her

825
00:39:13,920 --> 00:39:15,160
Speaker 1: friend and their brother.

826
00:39:15,719 --> 00:39:18,600
Speaker 2: But that's the end of that story. It is the end,

827
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:20,360
Speaker 2: and we got another one coming right up.

828
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:22,400
Speaker 1: Done here, we're gonna get back to this juicy story,

829
00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:24,840
Speaker 1: but a quick three minute break of ads from our sponsors.

830
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:28,400
Speaker 2: I caught off my parents after years of disrespecting my

831
00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:32,279
Speaker 2: husband fair enough, and this comes directly from the r

832
00:39:32,360 --> 00:39:33,960
Speaker 2: slash Okay storytime seate.

833
00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:35,600
Speaker 1: Even fairer enougher.

834
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:38,879
Speaker 2: I don't know if I'm looking for advice, validation, or

835
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:41,440
Speaker 2: just trying to process all of this, but I need

836
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:43,839
Speaker 2: to get it off my chest. My husband, let's call

837
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:47,000
Speaker 2: him Ray, thirty four male and I thirty two female,

838
00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:50,520
Speaker 2: have been together since I was eighteen, my freshman year

839
00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:52,840
Speaker 2: of college. He had immigrated to the US from the

840
00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:56,279
Speaker 2: Caribbean about eight years before we met. By the way,

841
00:39:56,400 --> 00:40:00,239
Speaker 2: this comes from Sufficient Finding six fourteen. Do you want

842
00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:01,960
Speaker 2: to smit your own stories? Goord to the r slash

843
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:05,799
Speaker 2: okay storytime separate it. I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, and we're

844
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:07,920
Speaker 2: here to give good advice goofully. But we don't have

845
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:10,400
Speaker 2: all the answers. We only know what we'd do, So

846
00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:12,400
Speaker 2: let us know what you would do in the comments

847
00:40:12,719 --> 00:40:16,800
Speaker 2: and OP says from the very beginning, my parents, fifty

848
00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:20,480
Speaker 2: six female and fifty male, disapproved. At first. They said

849
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:23,880
Speaker 2: it was because they didn't know him, but really it

850
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:26,520
Speaker 2: was because I didn't bring him around right away. The

851
00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:29,480
Speaker 2: truth is I knew they'd be judgmental. I was a

852
00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:32,520
Speaker 2: recovering Keeople pleaser and this was my first real relationship.

853
00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:34,920
Speaker 2: I wanted to figure things out on my own without

854
00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:39,040
Speaker 2: them influencing every step. Looking back, I stand by that decision.

855
00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:42,000
Speaker 2: But what started as we don't know him turned into

856
00:40:42,520 --> 00:40:47,840
Speaker 2: he's controlling and eventually spiraled into full blown rumors that

857
00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:50,880
Speaker 2: he would use me for citizenship, that he was emotionally,

858
00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:55,239
Speaker 2: mentally and financially harmful, that he isolated me and manipulated me.

859
00:40:56,040 --> 00:40:59,719
Speaker 2: None of it was based in reality, just harmful stereotypes

860
00:40:59,719 --> 00:41:02,520
Speaker 2: and a assumptions. The most ironic part is that my

861
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:07,560
Speaker 2: dad stepdad, is half Caribbean, and yet somehow that nuance

862
00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:10,560
Speaker 2: gets ignored. Despite all that, Ray and I built a

863
00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:14,000
Speaker 2: beautiful life together. Two years into our relationship, he was

864
00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:17,560
Speaker 2: able to earn citizenship through his career choice. No help

865
00:41:17,600 --> 00:41:20,600
Speaker 2: for me, you needed, hands down. He's been my rock.

866
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:26,480
Speaker 2: He's supportive, kind, patient, emotionally present, and genuinely my best friend.

867
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:29,880
Speaker 2: Six years into our relationship, we got married. A year later,

868
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:32,759
Speaker 2: we had our first child. That's when I learned my

869
00:41:32,840 --> 00:41:37,000
Speaker 2: mom has quietly been planting seeds of doubt about our

870
00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:42,160
Speaker 2: relationship within the family, telling people I was being isolated, manipulated,

871
00:41:42,640 --> 00:41:47,360
Speaker 2: even mistreated. When I confronted her, her reasoning honestly shocked me.

872
00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:51,040
Speaker 2: She pointed to basic life decisions like getting a credit card,

873
00:41:51,239 --> 00:41:54,879
Speaker 2: buying a car, or renting an apartment, all of which

874
00:41:54,920 --> 00:41:57,719
Speaker 2: I made after discussing them with Ray while we were

875
00:41:57,719 --> 00:42:00,799
Speaker 2: still dating. She criticized me for moving overseas to be

876
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:03,880
Speaker 2: with him while he was stationed abroad, even though he

877
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,200
Speaker 2: found me a job in the area and supported me

878
00:42:06,280 --> 00:42:09,359
Speaker 2: while I pursued part time work and school. She even

879
00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:13,640
Speaker 2: told people he pressured me inta having children. Here's some context.

880
00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:17,440
Speaker 2: I didn't originally want kids or marriage Ray did, but

881
00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:20,279
Speaker 2: over the years we had open and honest conversations. I

882
00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:23,640
Speaker 2: had many chances to leave if we weren't aligned. Instead,

883
00:42:23,719 --> 00:42:26,640
Speaker 2: I chose to build this life with him, marriage, kids,

884
00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:29,600
Speaker 2: all of it. Our sons six and daughter four are

885
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:32,239
Speaker 2: the light of my life and I can't imagine it

886
00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:34,520
Speaker 2: any other way. It's kay to be child free, and

887
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:37,600
Speaker 2: it's okay to change your mind, But my mom uses

888
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:39,719
Speaker 2: my change of heart as another weapon to say I

889
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:43,080
Speaker 2: was manipulated. After my son was born, I struggled with

890
00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:47,280
Speaker 2: postpartum anxiety. I confided in my mom, hoping for support,

891
00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:51,160
Speaker 2: but instead she used it as more proof that Ray

892
00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:55,120
Speaker 2: was failing me. In reality, he along with a few friends,

893
00:42:55,280 --> 00:42:58,560
Speaker 2: encouraged me to go to therapy and supported me through

894
00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:01,879
Speaker 2: every step of recovery. Therapy helped me face a lot

895
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:05,040
Speaker 2: of my own child to trauma and build healthier boundaries

896
00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:08,560
Speaker 2: again with Ray right there beside me. Ray is always

897
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:12,080
Speaker 2: looking out for me, anticipating my needs, supporting my hobbies,

898
00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:16,600
Speaker 2: and encouraging even my wildest ideas. Whatever I dream up,

899
00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:19,160
Speaker 2: he does everything he can to help make it happen.

900
00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:21,960
Speaker 2: We always laugh about this one episode of Modern Family

901
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:25,160
Speaker 2: where they talk about how every relationship has a dreamer

902
00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:28,520
Speaker 2: and a doer. In ours, I'm definitely the dreamer and

903
00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:31,319
Speaker 2: Ray is one hundred percent my clare. It's funny how

904
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:35,720
Speaker 2: art imitates life sometimes because that dynamic fits us perfectly. Still,

905
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:39,160
Speaker 2: after fourteen years, my parents have never had a kind

906
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:41,279
Speaker 2: word to stay about him. They go out of their

907
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:45,600
Speaker 2: way to exclude him, make passive aggressive comments, and constantly

908
00:43:45,719 --> 00:43:49,680
Speaker 2: question his involvement in anything related to our family, even

909
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:52,480
Speaker 2: during times of morning when he was simply standing by

910
00:43:52,560 --> 00:43:55,920
Speaker 2: me as my husband. They treated him like an inconvenience

911
00:43:56,120 --> 00:43:58,960
Speaker 2: rather than a source of support. And yet despite all

912
00:43:59,000 --> 00:44:02,920
Speaker 2: of this, they still expect full access to our children,

913
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:07,720
Speaker 2: his children. It's the most painful hypocrisy watching them treat

914
00:44:07,760 --> 00:44:11,160
Speaker 2: the father of my kids like a villain while insisting

915
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:14,320
Speaker 2: they want to be in our lives. I've spent years

916
00:44:14,560 --> 00:44:18,520
Speaker 2: trying to compartmentalize their roles as grandparents versus in laws,

917
00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:21,680
Speaker 2: and it's exhausting. Ray has always taken the high road.

918
00:44:21,680 --> 00:44:23,560
Speaker 2: He's told me again and again that he doesn't want

919
00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:26,759
Speaker 2: to come between me and my family, even when they

920
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:30,440
Speaker 2: belittled or disrespected him directly. And the truth is I

921
00:44:30,480 --> 00:44:33,160
Speaker 2: haven't always defended him the way I should have. I've

922
00:44:33,239 --> 00:44:36,080
Speaker 2: let things slide to keep the peace even when it

923
00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 2: hurt him.

924
00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:40,080
Speaker 1: Well, I think there is some like relevance to doing that,

925
00:44:40,239 --> 00:44:44,279
Speaker 1: Like when if it's happened before, and it's happening, I

926
00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:45,840
Speaker 1: mean at this point you said, it's been happening for

927
00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:48,040
Speaker 1: fourteen years. Yeah, so these people probably aren't going to

928
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:50,000
Speaker 1: change the way that they talk about him. So if

929
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:51,680
Speaker 1: you are going to maintain a relationship with them, it

930
00:44:51,719 --> 00:44:53,000
Speaker 1: has to be a thing where you hear it and

931
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:56,400
Speaker 1: you just go like, these people are like, it's silly, baby.

932
00:44:56,560 --> 00:44:59,719
Speaker 1: It's like, it's not letting people's words when they are

933
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:04,600
Speaker 1: me beingless and just meant to provoke something have any power.

934
00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:06,919
Speaker 1: But there also does come that point where you reach

935
00:45:07,000 --> 00:45:09,080
Speaker 1: your limit of being able to do that and.

936
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:12,520
Speaker 2: Also protecting your partner because it's not you that's getting belittled.

937
00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:14,000
Speaker 2: I mean, in a way, it is.

938
00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:16,560
Speaker 1: It's also him being like, well, I'm not gonna come

939
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:18,400
Speaker 1: between you and your family, and if he can just

940
00:45:18,440 --> 00:45:21,600
Speaker 1: be like, yeah, they're we're just weird, they're weird and crazy.

941
00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:23,759
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna let the stuff that they say, like

942
00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:26,560
Speaker 1: get down into me, because it's like, you know, that's

943
00:45:26,600 --> 00:45:29,480
Speaker 1: its own thing, and just being self assured is another thing.

944
00:45:29,520 --> 00:45:31,799
Speaker 1: But that doesn't work for everybody. It doesn't work for

945
00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:34,600
Speaker 1: every situation anyway, silly babies, your family.

946
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:38,120
Speaker 2: The breaking point should have come long ago, but alas

947
00:45:38,680 --> 00:45:41,319
Speaker 2: about two months ago, my mom calls e vent for

948
00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:45,160
Speaker 2: four hours about how badly my dad treats her, how

949
00:45:45,200 --> 00:45:48,920
Speaker 2: he ignores her needs, dismisses her feelings, and refuses to

950
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:52,080
Speaker 2: help with anything. The conversation include examples of how our

951
00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:55,880
Speaker 2: trust was broken, how he played it off, his defensiveness

952
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:57,680
Speaker 2: and half attempts and groveling.

953
00:45:57,920 --> 00:46:01,080
Speaker 1: I just don't think it's a good move for parents

954
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:04,000
Speaker 1: to have that kind of conversation with their children.

955
00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:06,640
Speaker 2: I think it's terrible. It's always a good idea. Don't

956
00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:08,600
Speaker 2: talk to your therapist, talk to your friends. Don't talk

957
00:46:08,600 --> 00:46:08,839
Speaker 2: to me.

958
00:46:09,160 --> 00:46:11,120
Speaker 1: No matter what age they are. They could be twelve,

959
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:14,880
Speaker 1: they could be forty, I don't care. Don't talk to

960
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:18,520
Speaker 1: me about how you hate my dad or my mom whatever.

961
00:46:18,680 --> 00:46:21,879
Speaker 2: All I could think was you defend him, you justify him,

962
00:46:21,920 --> 00:46:24,680
Speaker 2: you stay with him. At one point during this call,

963
00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:28,080
Speaker 2: I actually reference this. The thing my mom confided in

964
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:31,600
Speaker 2: me about Ray is never and would never do. And

965
00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:33,720
Speaker 2: it hurt that my own mom could be so willing

966
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:36,799
Speaker 2: to forgive terrible behavior and be so encouraging to men,

967
00:46:37,000 --> 00:46:40,760
Speaker 2: including my dad, who are awful partners. Yeah, my husband,

968
00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:43,440
Speaker 2: who has supported me, helped raise our kids, stood by

969
00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:47,920
Speaker 2: me through mental health struggles, career changes, military moves, and

970
00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:52,680
Speaker 2: toxic family dynamics, genuinely loves me is never good enough.

971
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:55,280
Speaker 2: I've tried more than once to bridge the gap between

972
00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:59,080
Speaker 2: my parents and my husband. I have had direct conversations

973
00:46:59,080 --> 00:47:01,440
Speaker 2: with them about their real and the way they speak

974
00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:04,640
Speaker 2: about him, But instead of owning their actions, they deflect

975
00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:07,680
Speaker 2: in gaslight. I hear things like I never said I

976
00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:11,000
Speaker 2: didn't like her husband, or it's not me, he's the

977
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:15,040
Speaker 2: one with the problem. Sometimes they claim we've misunderstood or

978
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:18,240
Speaker 2: taken things out of context, as if over a decade

979
00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:21,440
Speaker 2: of dismissive comments and disrespect and just be waved away.

980
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:23,839
Speaker 2: It's been two months since I last spoke to them.

981
00:47:24,040 --> 00:47:26,400
Speaker 2: I didn't make an announcement or set a boundary. I

982
00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:29,840
Speaker 2: just stopped responding, and in that silence, I've been sitting

983
00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:32,680
Speaker 2: with all of it. The guilt, the grief, the anger.

984
00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:36,520
Speaker 2: I feel torn and exhausted of it all. It feels

985
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:39,839
Speaker 2: like I've chosen my husband over my parents, but I

986
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:42,399
Speaker 2: know deep down it's not about choosing one or the other.

987
00:47:42,719 --> 00:47:45,520
Speaker 2: I still love my parents, I miss them, but I

988
00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:49,239
Speaker 2: can't keep pretending everything's fine, letting them play the part

989
00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:53,160
Speaker 2: of loving parents and doting grandparents while continuing to treat

990
00:47:53,200 --> 00:47:55,439
Speaker 2: my husband like he doesn't belong in the family we've

991
00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:58,560
Speaker 2: built together. Last night, my sister, a thirty seven female,

992
00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:00,799
Speaker 2: reached out to let me know that our mom had

993
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:04,960
Speaker 2: contacted her unexpectedly. They haven't spoken in months, so it

994
00:48:05,000 --> 00:48:08,160
Speaker 2: was surprising. The call was mostly about me. My mom

995
00:48:08,239 --> 00:48:10,520
Speaker 2: was asking if something was wrong with me, but the

996
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:16,320
Speaker 2: conversation quickly shifted into placing blame on Ray as usual.

997
00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:19,080
Speaker 2: But there is a little bit left to this story.

998
00:48:19,280 --> 00:48:20,280
Speaker 2: Any final thoughts.

999
00:48:20,560 --> 00:48:22,719
Speaker 1: I think you should totally set boundary with your parents,

1000
00:48:22,719 --> 00:48:24,400
Speaker 1: but I think they should know. I don't think you

1001
00:48:24,400 --> 00:48:27,360
Speaker 1: should just go. No, I think you pelling them. I

1002
00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:29,759
Speaker 1: think you said, hey, I'm done communicating with you all

1003
00:48:29,800 --> 00:48:30,560
Speaker 1: because of this.

1004
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:33,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, and if they go by my way away, you go,

1005
00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:36,439
Speaker 2: I don't care by piece, And you did the same

1006
00:48:36,440 --> 00:48:38,399
Speaker 2: thing that you are already planning to do, but they

1007
00:48:38,480 --> 00:48:40,600
Speaker 2: just know why. But there is a little bit left.

1008
00:48:40,840 --> 00:48:45,120
Speaker 2: I understand it's not my sister's job to defend or

1009
00:48:45,160 --> 00:48:48,720
Speaker 2: explain my choices, but I wish she had been more direct.

1010
00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:51,719
Speaker 2: Her responses were vague, which left a lot of room

1011
00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:56,520
Speaker 2: for misinterpretation or manipulation. One example they discussed was a

1012
00:48:56,600 --> 00:48:58,759
Speaker 2: time I was lying in my parents' bed with my

1013
00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:01,319
Speaker 2: son and Ray came into check on us. After that,

1014
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:04,480
Speaker 2: my parents started locking their bedroom door, basically saying it

1015
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:06,439
Speaker 2: was fine for me and our son to be in there,

1016
00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:09,799
Speaker 2: but not Ray. They're locking their bedroom door because your

1017
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:14,040
Speaker 2: husband is there with you and your child.

1018
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:15,560
Speaker 1: You really don't like this.

1019
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:19,360
Speaker 2: Guy somehow, and my mom's retelling and my sister's responses,

1020
00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:22,560
Speaker 2: the story morphed into Ray claiming they locked the door

1021
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:25,680
Speaker 2: with my son still inside, which isn't true, but now

1022
00:49:25,719 --> 00:49:31,120
Speaker 2: that's the version going around. What these people are wild. Yeah,

1023
00:49:31,239 --> 00:49:33,440
Speaker 2: I think it's time to like tell them why you're

1024
00:49:33,440 --> 00:49:35,640
Speaker 2: cutting them off, and then cut them off because this

1025
00:49:35,719 --> 00:49:36,719
Speaker 2: is just unacceptable.

1026
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:38,359
Speaker 1: I think you've got a lot to work with too.

1027
00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:41,360
Speaker 1: I mean, if your mom's calling you being like my husband,

1028
00:49:41,400 --> 00:49:44,279
Speaker 1: this my husband that blah blah blah, he sucks so bad,

1029
00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:46,239
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. You'd be like, you know who, I

1030
00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:50,160
Speaker 1: don't feel any of those feelings about Really, my husband

1031
00:49:50,520 --> 00:49:54,280
Speaker 1: is pretty great. Yeah, the one that you hate so bad? Yeah?

1032
00:49:54,440 --> 00:49:54,800
Speaker 2: Cool?

1033
00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:57,600
Speaker 1: And how are you gonna it's like you've had two children,

1034
00:49:58,040 --> 00:50:00,680
Speaker 1: trying to be like, oh, he manipulated you into having

1035
00:50:00,719 --> 00:50:05,160
Speaker 1: these kids. What It's like You can just at some

1036
00:50:05,239 --> 00:50:07,160
Speaker 1: point be like, I don't think I want kids, and

1037
00:50:07,200 --> 00:50:09,680
Speaker 1: then over time be like, no, no, yeah, I would

1038
00:50:09,680 --> 00:50:11,440
Speaker 1: want kids. Now you have two of them.

1039
00:50:11,680 --> 00:50:14,480
Speaker 2: Now you have them both, and that's okay. It's okay

1040
00:50:14,520 --> 00:50:17,439
Speaker 2: for people to change their mind about decisions. Either way.

1041
00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:19,359
Speaker 2: You could say, oh, I grew up thinking I want

1042
00:50:19,360 --> 00:50:21,239
Speaker 2: the kids, now I'm really going I don't want them,

1043
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:23,080
Speaker 2: or I grew up thinking I didn't want kids, now

1044
00:50:23,120 --> 00:50:26,720
Speaker 2: I do want them. It's fine. Just communicate with your partners. Yep,

1045
00:50:26,880 --> 00:50:30,440
Speaker 2: we have comments. Comments are from the video Lost My

1046
00:50:30,560 --> 00:50:33,880
Speaker 2: Dream Guy to an arranged marriage and this was posted

1047
00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:38,120
Speaker 2: October thirtieth, twenty twenty five. Tildars OPI met a charming

1048
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:41,720
Speaker 2: British lawyer on Hinge Ivy League grad plays in bands

1049
00:50:41,800 --> 00:50:46,800
Speaker 2: Total Dream Guy. They clicked instantly, had amazing dates, real chemistry,

1050
00:50:47,120 --> 00:50:49,720
Speaker 2: but then he dropped the bomb. His parents are arranging

1051
00:50:49,719 --> 00:50:53,799
Speaker 2: a marriage for him. Opiad to decide whether to keep

1052
00:50:53,840 --> 00:50:56,960
Speaker 2: seeing him until she moves or walk away before getting

1053
00:50:56,960 --> 00:50:59,920
Speaker 2: her heart broken. If you're curious to know the full story,

1054
00:51:00,160 --> 00:51:02,080
Speaker 2: you can go watch the full video and we have

1055
00:51:02,160 --> 00:51:07,439
Speaker 2: some comment. Comment by Catherine Alvarez nineteen to sixteen story one.

1056
00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:10,440
Speaker 2: This guy was obviously a scumback who wanted to keep

1057
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:13,480
Speaker 2: Op as a side piece. That or he was wildly

1058
00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:16,920
Speaker 2: naive bridget in reference. Yeah, the guys who kept talking

1059
00:51:16,920 --> 00:51:20,799
Speaker 2: about honor was Anthony and sometimes Colin, and both got

1060
00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:23,120
Speaker 2: the girls they loved. Colin just went for it and

1061
00:51:23,160 --> 00:51:26,080
Speaker 2: got engaged with Penelope after one carriage ride, and that

1062
00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:28,799
Speaker 2: was normal compared to Anthony, who did everything wrong and

1063
00:51:28,840 --> 00:51:31,560
Speaker 2: managed to end with Kate Pate played by Samoane Ashley.

1064
00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:36,840
Speaker 1: Damn Bridgerton spoilers and also, who are any of those people?

1065
00:51:36,880 --> 00:51:37,959
Speaker 1: I have never seen that show.

1066
00:51:38,040 --> 00:51:40,239
Speaker 2: I think Op is saying like this guy, if he

1067
00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:43,600
Speaker 2: actually was into could be like, I don't want to

1068
00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:45,120
Speaker 2: get married to this random person.

1069
00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:47,040
Speaker 1: This guy was into you, he'd say I want to

1070
00:51:47,040 --> 00:51:49,160
Speaker 1: marry you and the guy, I'm gonna take you for

1071
00:51:49,239 --> 00:51:52,040
Speaker 1: a carriage ride, and then we're gonna get married by

1072
00:51:52,080 --> 00:51:53,200
Speaker 1: the horse. Sure.

1073
00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:57,720
Speaker 2: Comment by Ingoos says, in the West we have strong

1074
00:51:57,920 --> 00:52:01,040
Speaker 2: family values. If you were few us the arranged marriage,

1075
00:52:01,080 --> 00:52:03,600
Speaker 2: it could bring shame to the whole family. And another

1076
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:06,840
Speaker 2: comment from Multi Dark Angel says, I've seen this among

1077
00:52:07,280 --> 00:52:12,279
Speaker 2: Hmong communities. It's not unusual for Asian parents to have

1078
00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:15,400
Speaker 2: arranged marriage. It's seen as outdated, but the parents do

1079
00:52:15,440 --> 00:52:18,160
Speaker 2: it because they fear of having a foreign wife. I've

1080
00:52:18,200 --> 00:52:20,520
Speaker 2: had friends and coworkers that were dating a guy for

1081
00:52:20,719 --> 00:52:24,280
Speaker 2: years and the guy promises to break the arranged marriage

1082
00:52:24,280 --> 00:52:26,319
Speaker 2: so they could get married. I have yet to see

1083
00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:28,960
Speaker 2: a guy keep his word. Every single one caves to

1084
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:32,160
Speaker 2: their parents' demands and the girl's reputation is destroyed. It's

1085
00:52:32,239 --> 00:52:35,719
Speaker 2: messed up. Yeah, I remember reading this one. While you

1086
00:52:35,800 --> 00:52:39,120
Speaker 2: might feel that he was going well, I think in

1087
00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:41,840
Speaker 2: the long run, if he's one didn't tell you that

1088
00:52:41,880 --> 00:52:44,520
Speaker 2: he had arranged marriage, but also isn't willing to break

1089
00:52:44,600 --> 00:52:47,240
Speaker 2: up that arranged marriage, then you'll find someone better.

1090
00:52:47,400 --> 00:52:49,239
Speaker 1: One hundred percent. I agree with that.

1091
00:52:49,520 --> 00:52:52,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's the end of that story and the

1092
00:52:52,280 --> 00:52:55,000
Speaker 2: end of this episode, so if you love us, make

1093
00:52:55,040 --> 00:52:55,960
Speaker 2: sure to subscribe.

1094
00:52:56,000 --> 00:53:00,200
Speaker 1: We love you and see that themor wh