WEBVTT - CZM Book Club: The Flair by Nick Mamatas 0:00:01.720 --> 0:00:03.280 Cool Zone Media. 0:00:05.000 --> 0:00:11.360 Book Club Club Club Club Club. It's the Cool Zone 0:00:11.520 --> 0:00:16.320 Media book Club. That's the jingle. It's the same every time. 0:00:16.600 --> 0:00:19.680 I don't know what you're talking about, it doesn't change. 0:00:21.600 --> 0:00:24.200 Welcome to Cool Zone Media book Club. I'm your host 0:00:24.320 --> 0:00:26.920 Maria Giljoy with me as my guest as Mia. 0:00:26.960 --> 0:00:32.680 Woe he ya, Hello book club chanting. We are, we 0:00:32.720 --> 0:00:34.920 are booking, We're clubbing. It's a good time. 0:00:35.280 --> 0:00:39.640 Yeah, that's right. Two weapons, books and clubs. Books are 0:00:39.680 --> 0:00:42.680 weapons in the pen is mightier than the sword way. 0:00:42.720 --> 0:00:44.600 But also if you put one in a big sock, 0:00:45.760 --> 0:00:48.560 like ideally a hardcover and a big sock, that's also 0:00:48.800 --> 0:00:53.400 a reasonable weapon. That's not what today's story is about. 0:00:53.800 --> 0:00:56.960 In the slightest, Cool Zone Media book Club is your 0:00:57.160 --> 0:01:01.920 weekly reminder that fiction is fun. Where I read someone 0:01:01.960 --> 0:01:06.959 a story, and today I'm reading Mia story. I'm reading 0:01:07.000 --> 0:01:11.440 Mia story by someone named Nick Mammaitas. Have you ever 0:01:11.440 --> 0:01:15.479 heard of Nick Mammatas by any brandam chance? No, Nick 0:01:15.520 --> 0:01:20.200 Mammotas is awesome. Nick Mammotas is a very hard working 0:01:20.240 --> 0:01:24.039 fiction writer who writes just a honest stuff, especially short fiction, 0:01:24.120 --> 0:01:25.880 but not exclusively. I guess I could just read you 0:01:26.000 --> 0:01:29.800 their bio or his bio rather. Nick Mammatas is the 0:01:29.840 --> 0:01:32.280 author of several novels, including The Second Shooter and I 0:01:32.360 --> 0:01:35.880 Am Providence. His short fiction has appeared in McSweeney's Best 0:01:35.880 --> 0:01:40.240 American Mystery Stories, tour dot Com, Weird Tales, Asthma, Science Fiction, 0:01:40.400 --> 0:01:43.840 and many other venues. Nick is also an anthologist. His 0:01:43.920 --> 0:01:47.880 most recent title is Wondering Glory Forever All Inspiring Lovecrafty 0:01:47.920 --> 0:01:52.120 and Fiction. Nick's fiction and editorial work have been variously 0:01:52.160 --> 0:01:56.200 nominated for the Hugo, Bram Stoker, Shirley Jackson, Locus, and 0:01:56.280 --> 0:02:00.960 World Fantasy Awards. But the story is about clowns. It's 0:02:01.000 --> 0:02:02.800 not really about clowns, but there's a clown in it, 0:02:03.800 --> 0:02:06.440 and so that's why I'm reading it. That's not why 0:02:06.480 --> 0:02:08.680 I'm reading the story. But I think it's clubby. This 0:02:08.840 --> 0:02:13.320 is a story about space lasers and clowns and clown down. 0:02:14.280 --> 0:02:15.120 Yeah. 0:02:15.360 --> 0:02:18.280 Yeah, didn't give you enough of a warning about what 0:02:18.320 --> 0:02:22.920 you were signing up for. This story is called the Flare. 0:02:23.800 --> 0:02:26.320 The Light Brigade has a flare for the dramatic, or 0:02:26.360 --> 0:02:28.760 at least the absurd. What I can tell you is 0:02:28.760 --> 0:02:30.600 that they're located somewhere in the western end of the 0:02:30.639 --> 0:02:33.040 Great Basin in California, and that I drove to meet 0:02:33.040 --> 0:02:34.880 them in a car I rented at what's left of 0:02:34.919 --> 0:02:39.000 the Reno Tahoe International Airport. Ten flights daily and on 0:02:39.040 --> 0:02:42.519 Sundays eleven, that one being a quick hop to Vancouver. 0:02:42.680 --> 0:02:46.120 Just to hang on to the name International do not recommend. 0:02:46.800 --> 0:02:49.200 I traveled north in the early evening, when the temperature 0:02:49.240 --> 0:02:51.320 was bearable but not so cold i'd need to heat 0:02:51.360 --> 0:02:54.760 the car and waste precious juice. There were no charging 0:02:54.800 --> 0:02:57.960 stations once I passed Pyramid Lake, but the brigade promised 0:02:57.960 --> 0:03:00.360 that they already had power sufficient to reach our my 0:03:00.400 --> 0:03:04.320 model te They also promised that I would instantly know 0:03:04.320 --> 0:03:06.760 where to pull off the highway and pick up my liaison, 0:03:07.440 --> 0:03:11.440 and they were right. Desert roads are always lonely, and 0:03:11.480 --> 0:03:14.000 when the sun finished its descent, the only light came 0:03:14.040 --> 0:03:18.280 from a failing Beaklin TM low orbit billboard and my 0:03:18.440 --> 0:03:22.120 ride's headlamps. They were not even any animals prowling the 0:03:22.120 --> 0:03:24.840 bush near the highway. No quick flashes of glowing eyes, 0:03:24.919 --> 0:03:28.160 no glintse of track or collars in the shadows. Nothing 0:03:28.200 --> 0:03:30.640 suddenly there and then gone in a blink. Both literal 0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:35.040 and figurative, just brush and a low sky like black slate. 0:03:36.560 --> 0:03:40.160 There was, however, on the shoulder of the road, a 0:03:40.200 --> 0:03:44.600 circus clown, complete with red nose, great flipper shoes, and 0:03:44.680 --> 0:03:48.280 a comically oversized hitchhiker's thumb. She wore a pair of 0:03:48.320 --> 0:03:52.320 reflective yellow genie pants, a floofy sleeved crop top just 0:03:52.360 --> 0:03:55.760 as vibrant, and a single red rose upon her left breast. 0:03:56.320 --> 0:03:58.840 The clown's hair was pale blue and pink and pointed 0:03:58.920 --> 0:04:02.040 straight up, a bit like the flame from a gas burner. 0:04:02.280 --> 0:04:07.040 Turned all the way up, going my way, I asked, 0:04:07.800 --> 0:04:10.440 She docked and entered the car headfirst, like an animal, 0:04:10.560 --> 0:04:12.680 or at least someone unused to being a passenger in 0:04:12.760 --> 0:04:16.200 anything smaller than a bus. I almost ate a mouthful 0:04:16.240 --> 0:04:19.880 of her cotton candy colored hair. It was stiff, coated 0:04:19.920 --> 0:04:26.040 and dried glue quick clowning around funny face, Hong Kong, 0:04:26.200 --> 0:04:29.120 she said, as she squeezed her funny nose. It was 0:04:29.160 --> 0:04:31.880 half broken and sounded like a wounded animal. But she 0:04:31.880 --> 0:04:35.880 did her best to compensate broken animals. But trying our best. 0:04:36.480 --> 0:04:39.200 That's what life has been for the past fifteen years. 0:04:40.720 --> 0:04:42.839 The light Brigade had invited me out to their secret 0:04:42.880 --> 0:04:45.280 headquarters to witness and write about the launch of their 0:04:45.279 --> 0:04:49.320 home brew laser satellite. Just two years ago, the Brigade 0:04:49.320 --> 0:04:52.320 had created and uploaded open source plans for the improvement 0:04:52.720 --> 0:04:56.480 of your backyard photovoltaic receivers to convert solar powered laser 0:04:56.600 --> 0:05:00.960 energy into good old DC electricity. It was a provocative 0:05:01.000 --> 0:05:04.120 move by this assemblage of hackers, engineers, and from the 0:05:04.120 --> 0:05:07.839 look of the looks of the clown under employed performance artists, 0:05:09.080 --> 0:05:12.120 especially provocative since there was and there is nothing for 0:05:12.160 --> 0:05:17.800 photovoltaic receivers to collect that isn't just coming from the Sun. Already, 0:05:18.560 --> 0:05:21.240 solar power satellites have been on the drawing boards and 0:05:21.440 --> 0:05:24.600 some of the most hopeful PowerPoint slide presentations ever created 0:05:25.279 --> 0:05:29.240 for almost seventy years. Indeed, there are a handful of 0:05:29.279 --> 0:05:32.680 microwave transmitting satellites in low orbit right now, but they're 0:05:32.720 --> 0:05:36.760 not pointed toward the Earth. Instead, they are oriented towards 0:05:36.839 --> 0:05:41.640 the four long Wang weapons platforms located thirty five thousand 0:05:41.680 --> 0:05:45.200 kilometers overhead, to keep them powered up and ever ready 0:05:45.240 --> 0:05:48.960 for war. But that the Light Brigade wants you to 0:05:49.000 --> 0:05:53.520 know is going to change. We didn't travel much more 0:05:53.560 --> 0:05:56.000 than a mile before the clown, whose name was Elektra, 0:05:56.240 --> 0:05:58.279 told me to pull over and get out of the car. 0:05:58.960 --> 0:06:01.240 She pointed her novelty thumb at me, then dug it 0:06:01.279 --> 0:06:03.240 into my ribs as if it were a pistol and 0:06:03.279 --> 0:06:07.560 she a mobster. It was fine, all part of our agreement. 0:06:08.440 --> 0:06:11.000 The night was frigid, but it's the kind of cold 0:06:11.040 --> 0:06:13.320 that's a relief, like walking by the open door of 0:06:13.360 --> 0:06:15.799 the store you could never afford to enter a freelance 0:06:15.880 --> 0:06:19.520 journalist's salary. She kept me waiting outside, where I took 0:06:19.600 --> 0:06:22.440 nips now and again from my flask while she programmed 0:06:22.480 --> 0:06:25.200 a new route into the car's navigation system. Then stepped 0:06:25.240 --> 0:06:29.240 back out and said, want to sniff my flower? Before 0:06:29.279 --> 0:06:32.320 I could even say yes, it's squirted, and something sticky 0:06:32.400 --> 0:06:34.560 that smells of lavender hit me full in the face. 0:06:35.760 --> 0:06:38.279 I woke up blindfolded, still in the passenger seat of 0:06:38.279 --> 0:06:41.200 my car, but definitely off road. A hard jostle sent 0:06:41.200 --> 0:06:43.479 my head up to the roof and nearly lost consciousness 0:06:43.520 --> 0:06:47.479 A second time, Easy said, Electra, we're close to the Shonzai. 0:06:48.040 --> 0:06:50.240 I was intrigued to hear that bit of Mandarin. It 0:06:50.320 --> 0:06:54.320 meant she trusted me. Shonzi distant strongholds beyond the reach 0:06:54.320 --> 0:06:58.159 of the emperor in ancient times, Shonzi bandit bands resisting 0:06:58.200 --> 0:07:03.080 centralized power. In the merely pre modern era, Shonzi underground, 0:07:03.080 --> 0:07:06.640 non hierarchical factories for knockoff cell phones with extra features, 0:07:07.200 --> 0:07:10.280 and spider Man action figures in turquoise and purple instead 0:07:10.280 --> 0:07:13.640 of red and blue. In the recent past and today, 0:07:14.240 --> 0:07:18.040 Shonzai meant all those things and something more. I had 0:07:18.080 --> 0:07:20.040 a million questions, but I wasn't going to ask them 0:07:20.040 --> 0:07:23.240 well blindfolded. It was another thirty minutes perhaps before we 0:07:23.280 --> 0:07:26.120 pulled up to the Shanzai. Stay in the car for 0:07:26.160 --> 0:07:29.080 one minute, please, the clown said. She stepped out and 0:07:29.080 --> 0:07:31.800 closed the door. I could hear other people milling around, 0:07:31.840 --> 0:07:34.400 and they made me wait for much longer than a minute. 0:07:34.560 --> 0:07:37.480 But finally the passenger door opened, and a man's hand 0:07:37.480 --> 0:07:41.160 pressed against my chest and told me one sec He 0:07:41.200 --> 0:07:43.440 took off my blindfold and then stepped back and said 0:07:43.920 --> 0:07:47.360 get out. There were six of them, including my chauffeur. 0:07:48.440 --> 0:07:51.400 They introduced themselves. A couple shared their pronouns and won 0:07:51.440 --> 0:07:54.640 a brief list of headmtes only the clown and a 0:07:54.680 --> 0:07:57.560 woman with whom she was now holding hands, said welcome 0:07:57.560 --> 0:08:01.160 to the Light Brigade. We launched at dawn. They spoke 0:08:01.200 --> 0:08:04.360 in an eerie practiced harmony like creepy twins in a movie, 0:08:04.480 --> 0:08:07.720 then broke into laughter. And you know what else is 0:08:08.920 --> 0:08:11.160 like creepy twins in a movie? 0:08:11.920 --> 0:08:13.640 Man? You know, I thought you were gonna go for 0:08:13.720 --> 0:08:15.760 the launching it done one, but that one's funnier. 0:08:16.360 --> 0:08:18.680 Oh yeah, no, launching it done. Oh I kind of no. 0:08:18.920 --> 0:08:20.640 I feel bad. I feel like that should have been 0:08:20.640 --> 0:08:24.520 the that should have been the ad pivot. Well, you know, 0:08:24.680 --> 0:08:27.840 there's no going back. It's a forward only medium. That 0:08:27.880 --> 0:08:32.240 they say classically about pre recorded audio. It's just like radio, 0:08:32.760 --> 0:08:36.360 and that it's here's ads. Listen to them, or press 0:08:36.400 --> 0:08:39.360 the forward fifteen seconds button a couple of times, maybe 0:08:39.400 --> 0:08:42.280 six times, whatever, until you hear the jingle music again, 0:08:57.040 --> 0:09:02.880 and we're back. The brigade's rules were simple, no photos, 0:09:03.120 --> 0:09:06.280 no extensive physical descriptions. They let me know that none 0:09:06.280 --> 0:09:08.760 of the communicative tech I might have, including my watch, 0:09:08.800 --> 0:09:11.920 would work out wherever they were. I could only talk 0:09:11.960 --> 0:09:14.840 to the clown, her girlfriend, and one fellow who agreed 0:09:14.840 --> 0:09:17.000 to answer questions if I addressed them just to him, 0:09:17.360 --> 0:09:21.040 and if they were sensible. There had been a vote 0:09:21.040 --> 0:09:23.080 about my presence here, and it was a tie, so 0:09:23.320 --> 0:09:26.880 everybody one, according to half the Shanzai, I wasn't there, 0:09:28.440 --> 0:09:31.280 so why a clown suit? I asked, over a meal 0:09:31.320 --> 0:09:34.560 of grilled grow meats and pine nut soup. We were 0:09:34.600 --> 0:09:38.200 sitting outside a top military surplus sleeping bags on the 0:09:38.200 --> 0:09:41.320 ice over floor of the desert. I wasn't allowed inside 0:09:41.320 --> 0:09:43.199 any of the structures, but I am allowed to say 0:09:43.280 --> 0:09:45.920 that they appeared to be hoop houses with opaque plastic 0:09:45.960 --> 0:09:50.760 canvases stretched over the frames. We needed helium, said Electra 0:09:50.840 --> 0:09:54.160 the clown. She casually confessed to a series of crimes 0:09:54.600 --> 0:09:57.599 involving an illicit helium smuggling ring that caters to the 0:09:57.679 --> 0:10:00.880 more nostalgic members of the ultra rich for their children's 0:10:00.920 --> 0:10:04.440 birthday parties, her infiltration of the same, and a sudden 0:10:04.480 --> 0:10:08.280 and perhaps violent hijacking of a truck of canisters. Her 0:10:08.320 --> 0:10:11.359 girlfriend rubbed her back as she spoke of brandishing a firearm. 0:10:11.679 --> 0:10:13.880 How she convinced the truck driver that helium was as 0:10:13.880 --> 0:10:17.160 flammable as hydrogen through sheer force of will, And what 0:10:17.240 --> 0:10:19.520 a challenge. It was unloading the truck in a safe 0:10:19.520 --> 0:10:22.800 house and then slowly transporting the canisters in ones and 0:10:22.840 --> 0:10:26.560 twos to this location. I kept the suit because I 0:10:26.600 --> 0:10:29.439 knew you'd stop for it, she finished. Who could resist? 0:10:30.520 --> 0:10:34.920 Nobody can resist, said the clown's girlfriend. Electra had told 0:10:34.960 --> 0:10:37.480 me much about the plans of the Light Brigade, just 0:10:37.520 --> 0:10:40.720 from sharing that one anecdote, the brigade would not be 0:10:40.800 --> 0:10:45.080 launching a microwave transmitting satellite. These six people were likely 0:10:45.120 --> 0:10:48.040 the whole of the organization. There was no broad movement, 0:10:48.160 --> 0:10:52.720 no multinational organization stealing and smuggling, borrowing and building to 0:10:52.760 --> 0:10:55.319 create the means to provide free power to the masses. 0:10:56.960 --> 0:11:01.040 May I see your raccoon, I asked, Yeah, said the girlfriend. 0:11:01.559 --> 0:11:07.000 You can call me Robin, by the way, Tracy, said Electra, 0:11:07.080 --> 0:11:09.679 who finally took off her large wig and plucked off 0:11:09.720 --> 0:11:12.400 her nose and tossed it into the wigs cap. The 0:11:12.440 --> 0:11:14.480 other person, who agreed to speak to me only if 0:11:14.480 --> 0:11:18.679 I asked sensible questions, identified himself as Lee. Though as 0:11:18.800 --> 0:11:20.760 Lee was the one with the headmates, I knew that 0:11:20.840 --> 0:11:22.840 agreement might be altered at any moment. 0:11:23.600 --> 0:11:24.319 It was like that. 0:11:26.600 --> 0:11:30.560 Raccoon is a portmanteau of rocket and balloon, a twentieth 0:11:30.559 --> 0:11:34.880 century technology obsolete for a full century. A balloon hoists 0:11:34.920 --> 0:11:37.800 the rocket up into the upper atmosphere, then the engine 0:11:37.800 --> 0:11:41.200 ignites in the rocket, usually a solid fuel number can 0:11:41.240 --> 0:11:44.360 get even higher without needing all that much fuel. In 0:11:44.400 --> 0:11:48.760 the nineteen forties, raccoons were used for atmospheric and meteorological study, 0:11:49.360 --> 0:11:52.800 but or quickly superseded by liquid fuels and rockets capable 0:11:52.840 --> 0:11:57.120 of reaching orbit from the ground. Raccoons were still technically useful, 0:11:57.160 --> 0:12:00.280 but the missile synic doocic of war. Even when there 0:12:00.320 --> 0:12:03.080 was no possible worry that an upper atmosphere mission would 0:12:03.080 --> 0:12:05.960 be targeted by an enemy, the very fact that raccoon 0:12:06.080 --> 0:12:09.080 seemed easy to shoot down was enough to mothball the 0:12:09.160 --> 0:12:14.000 inexpensive flexible technology. Tracy and Robin were happy to show 0:12:14.000 --> 0:12:17.680 off the disused minute Mann silo. The moon was new, 0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:20.560 and for obvious reasons, the Light Brigade kept its work 0:12:20.600 --> 0:12:23.839 areas dark. We're not worried about the police, per se, 0:12:24.040 --> 0:12:26.280 Robin explained. As we picked our way through the bush, 0:12:26.360 --> 0:12:29.200 led by nothing but the lights of our wristwatches, my 0:12:29.280 --> 0:12:32.040 little ball of light found a scorpion on the desert floor. 0:12:32.520 --> 0:12:35.320 It didn't scuttle away or flex its tail, and I 0:12:35.360 --> 0:12:38.480 too found myself frozen, both terrified and feeling the cold 0:12:38.480 --> 0:12:41.720 of the night air for the first time. Tracy knocked 0:12:41.720 --> 0:12:46.560 the iraqnet away with her oversized shoe. Be careful, she said, 0:12:46.600 --> 0:12:49.720 but she wasn't talking about the scorpion. Not a minute later, 0:12:49.800 --> 0:12:53.280 both women grabbed my forearms and kept me from taking 0:12:53.280 --> 0:12:56.120 a fatal step down the concrete tunnel they were leading 0:12:56.160 --> 0:13:00.400 me to. The silo wasn't capped, and the rocket sand's 0:13:00.480 --> 0:13:03.480 nose cone was much smaller than the Minuteman for which 0:13:03.480 --> 0:13:07.600 it was originally designed. There was a low concrete building 0:13:07.640 --> 0:13:09.480 on the far side of the lip of the silo, 0:13:09.679 --> 0:13:11.960 but it was dark enough, and I'd been focused enough 0:13:11.960 --> 0:13:14.640 on where I've been stepping, but I hadn't noticed it 0:13:14.679 --> 0:13:18.560 at all. They wouldn't talk about the missile very much, 0:13:18.600 --> 0:13:21.040 except to saying that it was a solid propellant rocket 0:13:21.320 --> 0:13:25.240 and that its fuel was environmentally friendly Hexa nitro hexa's 0:13:25.320 --> 0:13:29.120 iso wurtzsustain, a word that danced on their tongues even 0:13:29.160 --> 0:13:33.040 through their giggles, but that utterly confused my transcription software. 0:13:33.760 --> 0:13:36.240 More importantly, and why this fuel was used during this 0:13:36.320 --> 0:13:41.000 straight conflict, is that Hexa nitro hexa's iso wurtz tain 0:13:41.600 --> 0:13:45.840 burning rockets don't leave much of a visible trail. Thanks 0:13:45.920 --> 0:13:49.120 Nick for including that word twice in the story so 0:13:49.200 --> 0:13:54.080 that I had to read it. Thanks good looking out. 0:13:56.120 --> 0:13:58.600 I realized the ladies could toss me into the hole. 0:13:59.160 --> 0:14:01.840 They both had strong grips on my arms. This wouldn't 0:14:01.840 --> 0:14:04.520 be the first bunch of hackers or makers or burners 0:14:04.600 --> 0:14:07.960 or post rats or socialists or whatever the Light Brigade 0:14:08.040 --> 0:14:09.720 was hoping to be calm out here in the Great 0:14:09.760 --> 0:14:14.800 Basin to simply devolve into madness. It's a good one, 0:14:15.160 --> 0:14:18.000 I said, idiotically, not that I've seen too many up close. 0:14:19.120 --> 0:14:22.320 The balloon the satellite. My clever idea was to give 0:14:22.360 --> 0:14:24.200 them a reason to lead me away from the silo 0:14:24.320 --> 0:14:26.600 rather than truck me down into it for whatever blood 0:14:26.600 --> 0:14:29.960 baptism they thought would help the mission. We'll show you 0:14:30.000 --> 0:14:34.360 everything except that which cannot be shown, Tracy said. Robin 0:14:34.400 --> 0:14:38.040 giggled at that none of this was helping. Except for 0:14:38.080 --> 0:14:40.560 the small cement pillbox by the silo. There didn't seem 0:14:40.560 --> 0:14:43.440 to be any other buildings around their grips didn't lighten 0:14:43.560 --> 0:14:45.320 up as they led me off into the night, like 0:14:45.360 --> 0:14:48.000 two prison guards bringing a drunk to a holding cell. 0:14:48.760 --> 0:14:52.560 I was a little tipsy. Robin began making an unusual 0:14:52.600 --> 0:14:55.680 clicking noise with her tongue and cheeks. I opened my 0:14:55.720 --> 0:14:58.200 mouth to say something, but Tracy put a gloved finger 0:14:58.280 --> 0:15:01.840 to my lips. They stepped lightly, and I aped their 0:15:01.880 --> 0:15:05.200 tentative shuffling, thanks only partially to the hold they had 0:15:05.240 --> 0:15:08.760 on my arms. The beam of watchlight passed over something 0:15:08.800 --> 0:15:12.000 and vanished into it. Then Robin disappeared for a moment, 0:15:12.080 --> 0:15:14.560 only to come back, holding the Knight in her hands 0:15:14.640 --> 0:15:17.120 and directing my attention to a flight of cement steps 0:15:17.160 --> 0:15:25.800 going underground hyperblack. I said, you were echo locating drones 0:15:25.800 --> 0:15:29.320 are everywhere, and satellite's too, the Tracy, as she nudged 0:15:29.320 --> 0:15:33.880 me onto the top step. Satellites are everywhere. There's one 0:15:33.880 --> 0:15:36.520 in the subterranean warehouse into which I was walked alone 0:15:36.640 --> 0:15:39.360 at Tracy and Robin's urging. It was not quite as 0:15:39.440 --> 0:15:42.280 dark as the hyperblack tarp's top side, but it was 0:15:42.320 --> 0:15:46.160 pretty dim. Lee, the third member of the Shenzai who 0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:48.880 deigned to speak to me, sparked an old fashioned cigarette lighter, 0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:52.600 perhaps ten yards away. Everything from his eyeglasses to the 0:15:52.640 --> 0:15:54.880 size of the room was bigger than I imagined it 0:15:54.920 --> 0:15:59.240 could possibly be, except for the satellite itself. He wouldn't 0:15:59.240 --> 0:16:01.480 show me the whole thing at once, but casually walked 0:16:01.480 --> 0:16:04.920 a tight circle around an object roughly the size and 0:16:05.040 --> 0:16:08.120 shape of a very nice propane gas grill, of the 0:16:08.120 --> 0:16:11.160 sort your parents might have once owned. It's the kind 0:16:11.160 --> 0:16:13.400 of thing you might look at and be compelled to say, 0:16:13.880 --> 0:16:16.600 what a butte, and then offer a pull from a flask. 0:16:17.360 --> 0:16:21.640 But I resisted, I should not have. This is just 0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:25.120 the laser, Lee explained. His eyes were obscured by the 0:16:25.160 --> 0:16:28.359 triple refraction of the firelight and the lenses of his spectacles. 0:16:29.360 --> 0:16:32.000 A few more watts and he'd be the one shooting lasers. 0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:36.920 Diode pump alkali. We get potash from the desert. How 0:16:36.920 --> 0:16:38.720 do you know it works, I asked, How do you 0:16:38.720 --> 0:16:41.480 know any of it works? The laser, the satellite, the raccoon. 0:16:42.520 --> 0:16:44.480 Why are you asking me, Li said, because you think 0:16:44.480 --> 0:16:47.960 I'm a man. Examine your biases, madame. He extinguished the 0:16:48.040 --> 0:16:51.320 lighter with the top of his thumb. Somewhere behind and 0:16:51.360 --> 0:16:54.640 above me, a clown nose honked for second after that, 0:16:55.200 --> 0:17:00.840 I didn't hear the echolocational clicking behind me. Journalists say, 0:17:01.520 --> 0:17:04.919 or they used to say, don't bury the lead, but 0:17:05.000 --> 0:17:08.119 I have done just that. I simply wasn't expecting the 0:17:08.160 --> 0:17:13.480 story I ended up living through. Here's the lead. Fifteen 0:17:13.600 --> 0:17:17.879 years ago, third party transnational belligerents used laser satellites in 0:17:17.920 --> 0:17:21.520 low earth orbit to attack both Chinese and NATO positions 0:17:21.560 --> 0:17:24.359 along the Taiwan Strait during the Second Battle of the 0:17:24.440 --> 0:17:30.600 Davis Line and now the Nutcraft. The satellites existed in 0:17:30.720 --> 0:17:34.240 multiple sweet spots. Their orbits were too high for anti 0:17:34.280 --> 0:17:37.440 aircraft fire or drones to take out, but too low 0:17:37.480 --> 0:17:40.639 for the orbital platforms to target without possibly striking their 0:17:40.680 --> 0:17:43.679 own forces on the ground. They were big enough to 0:17:43.720 --> 0:17:46.800 pump out lasers, capable of melting flight decks and combusting 0:17:46.840 --> 0:17:50.000 individual sailors unfortunate enough to be standing in the wrong place, 0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:54.000 too small to be spotted amidst all the other war 0:17:54.119 --> 0:17:56.840 drunk in the skies until they warmed up and started 0:17:56.880 --> 0:18:01.040 firing deadly enough that both said I had scored propaganda 0:18:01.119 --> 0:18:03.960 victories by blaming the other for violations of the laws 0:18:04.000 --> 0:18:07.879 of war insufficiently destructive to be anything more than a 0:18:07.920 --> 0:18:14.440 political anomaly. After the fact, ten fatalities, dozens of casualties, 0:18:14.960 --> 0:18:18.400 mostly blindness and other vision impairments, some second and third 0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:22.680 degree burns. A single human pictogram in the infographic detailing 0:18:22.720 --> 0:18:25.920 the carnage of the battle, made special by the asterisk 0:18:26.320 --> 0:18:31.480 explaining what had happened. The simple collapse of the world 0:18:31.480 --> 0:18:35.280 petroleum supply brought both sides to the negotiating table soon enough, 0:18:35.840 --> 0:18:39.679 and with the Treaty of Taipei, a significant population exchange, 0:18:39.720 --> 0:18:42.600 and the launch of Long Wang, the peace of pure 0:18:42.680 --> 0:18:46.760 exhaustion settled upon the world. But not here in the 0:18:46.760 --> 0:18:51.560 California Great Basin. I asked Lee one further question, could 0:18:51.560 --> 0:18:54.959 this be weaponized? And then I got a whiff of 0:18:55.000 --> 0:18:59.600 Tracy's clown flower and fell down. Then woke up, this 0:18:59.680 --> 0:19:03.560 time just before dawn, in my car and not where 0:19:03.560 --> 0:19:06.720 I left it, parked on the grounds of the Light Brigade. 0:19:06.800 --> 0:19:09.639 The car's controls had been locked and my hands cuffed 0:19:09.680 --> 0:19:12.440 behind my back. I didn't think they'd knocked me out, 0:19:12.480 --> 0:19:14.320 stuffed me into my ride and programmed it to make 0:19:14.359 --> 0:19:16.480 a sharp right turn into a desert so that I 0:19:16.480 --> 0:19:19.560 could be cooked like a potato and die. I thought 0:19:19.600 --> 0:19:22.359 I was going back to the airport. The cuffs, I 0:19:22.440 --> 0:19:25.280 guessed were the typical police issue that any security guard 0:19:25.320 --> 0:19:28.080 with the universal key could unlock for me after I 0:19:28.200 --> 0:19:32.520 rolled up to the parking lot attendants little box, probably, 0:19:32.640 --> 0:19:34.840 and as a bonus, I was going to need to 0:19:34.920 --> 0:19:37.320 pee before the car got me to my destination. Though 0:19:38.840 --> 0:19:42.199 JA school one oh one, start with softball questions, as 0:19:42.240 --> 0:19:44.439 the source might wig out or just end the interview 0:19:44.480 --> 0:19:47.720 if you begin with provocations. But I was thinking of 0:19:47.720 --> 0:19:50.160 this article as a puff piece more than anything else. 0:19:50.680 --> 0:19:53.359 Check out the product and personalities, throw in a charming 0:19:53.400 --> 0:19:58.000 anecdote or two, and post. The fact is that there's 0:19:58.080 --> 0:20:00.639 never been a decent business case for peace full laser 0:20:00.680 --> 0:20:05.359 transmitting solar powered satellites. Historically, they don't collect enough extra 0:20:05.400 --> 0:20:08.399 solar radiation to make it profitable to build, launch, and 0:20:08.480 --> 0:20:11.560 maintain them, no matter how dark the black one paints 0:20:11.560 --> 0:20:14.400 their solar panels, no matter how much helium one steals 0:20:14.400 --> 0:20:18.480 from the children of billionaires. In our post oil nineteen 0:20:18.480 --> 0:20:21.959 degree celsius era, when a cloudy day is practically an 0:20:21.960 --> 0:20:26.000 economical holiday and cheap and shiny photovol take collectors fill 0:20:26.040 --> 0:20:29.080 the parking lots of most defunct strip malls. There's just 0:20:29.160 --> 0:20:32.680 no profit to be had. The only laser transmitting satellites 0:20:32.720 --> 0:20:35.760 that have ever been commercially deployed were used for space 0:20:35.800 --> 0:20:41.399 to space communication or wide scale high detail mapping. Those 0:20:41.920 --> 0:20:45.240 and the Davis line direct energy weapons fifteen years ago. 0:20:47.280 --> 0:20:50.280 You know what else promises to be commercially for one 0:20:50.359 --> 0:20:53.920 thing but feeds into a culture of war? 0:20:55.480 --> 0:20:58.520 Is it the space lasers you can buy from our advertisers. 0:20:59.400 --> 0:21:05.960 Yes, go buy a space laser because that's a thing 0:21:07.520 --> 0:21:12.359 that you can do and would be moral and there's 0:21:12.400 --> 0:21:14.720 nothing complicated about that. 0:21:16.119 --> 0:21:29.840 Here's some ads. 0:21:30.920 --> 0:21:33.800 Welcome back, unless you have cooler zone media, in which case, 0:21:34.280 --> 0:21:36.840 well it's still welcome back. But it's just welcome back 0:21:36.880 --> 0:21:39.200 for me talking about ads to me talking about coming 0:21:39.240 --> 0:21:41.560 back from ads. Aren't you so glad that you pay 0:21:41.680 --> 0:21:43.720 a small amount every month in order to not hear 0:21:43.760 --> 0:21:47.080 ads but instead to hear Margaret toss to ads and 0:21:47.080 --> 0:21:50.040 then come back, because really, tossing to ads is the 0:21:50.119 --> 0:21:53.440 high point of her day because it's where I can 0:21:53.480 --> 0:21:58.240 make sir joke. Anyway, here's the story. The sun begins 0:21:58.320 --> 0:22:01.159 to bubble up on the horizon. In my rear view mirror, 0:22:01.200 --> 0:22:03.719 I see a black ball dragging a gray arrow up 0:22:03.720 --> 0:22:06.800 into the sky and tell the mirror to start recording. 0:22:07.560 --> 0:22:09.720 If I'm a war reporter, now I might as well 0:22:09.720 --> 0:22:13.280 get some good visuals from the model t's tiny hatch. 0:22:13.320 --> 0:22:17.160 I hear a voice say, oh good, you're awake. Tracy 0:22:17.240 --> 0:22:20.280 kicks out the armrest between the rear seats and unfolds herself, 0:22:20.359 --> 0:22:23.159 legs first out of the trunk, then slithers into the 0:22:23.200 --> 0:22:27.520 front passenger seat. Sorry, there was a coup. She glances 0:22:27.520 --> 0:22:31.879 down at my wrists, ah, handcuffs. Also, they're after us 0:22:31.880 --> 0:22:36.440 by now? Probably you uh? I start? I am a 0:22:36.560 --> 0:22:40.879 legitimate master of the circus arts, Tracy says, who is 0:22:40.920 --> 0:22:43.600 after us? I say, there's a lot to know, now, 0:22:44.040 --> 0:22:48.679 who what when journalism is inscribed upon my nervous system? Robin, 0:22:50.040 --> 0:22:52.320 the investors, Tracy says, not all of them. 0:22:52.320 --> 0:22:52.720 Of course. 0:22:52.760 --> 0:22:55.639 We raised funds to buy the silo via the blockchain, 0:22:55.800 --> 0:22:58.800 so most of the people funding the project know little 0:22:58.800 --> 0:23:02.840 more about it than already real estate guaranteed twenty percent return. 0:23:03.440 --> 0:23:07.000 And no, not Robin. They are three on site investor 0:23:07.000 --> 0:23:10.680 Onbud's folks tied us both up and went to get you. 0:23:11.160 --> 0:23:13.040 Robin and I have built up a tolerance to the 0:23:13.080 --> 0:23:16.320 spray they knocked Lee out with it, though there's not 0:23:16.440 --> 0:23:18.719 much to do in the desert, so Robin taught one 0:23:18.720 --> 0:23:22.879 of the investors how to echo locate. Sorry, also, I 0:23:22.920 --> 0:23:24.960 talk a lot when I'm with a new person. Sorry 0:23:24.960 --> 0:23:27.919 about that too, Where why? 0:23:28.560 --> 0:23:28.800 How? 0:23:29.920 --> 0:23:31.760 I should have been clearer, but I'm too confused to 0:23:31.760 --> 0:23:35.199 make my question specific. How did you escape? Is answered 0:23:35.240 --> 0:23:37.800 wordlessly as Tracy picks the lock on my cuffs with 0:23:37.840 --> 0:23:40.960 a paper clip. Where were she and Robin locked up? 0:23:41.160 --> 0:23:44.800