1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,920 Speaker 1: My husband makes one hundred and forty thousand dollars a year, 2 00:00:02,080 --> 00:00:05,120 Speaker 1: but we are severely in debt. I had no idea 3 00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:07,160 Speaker 1: where that money was going until today. 4 00:00:07,560 --> 00:00:11,560 Speaker 2: Oh oh, this sounds like some piping hot. 5 00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:13,560 Speaker 3: Da, there's some joics in this story. 6 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:17,599 Speaker 1: John Fresh, squeeze, Oh you're a dollar only a dollar? 7 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:18,520 Speaker 3: Come over, get this. 8 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:20,840 Speaker 2: Joice, Let me suck the juice out of it. 9 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:23,960 Speaker 1: Such that juicy jews baby. My husband makes a hundred 10 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:26,360 Speaker 1: forty thousand dollars a year. I was making thirty thousand 11 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,800 Speaker 1: dollars a year. We had no credit card debt when 12 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:31,520 Speaker 1: I quit my job. Our mortgage and home equity loan 13 00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 1: combined are two thousand dollars a month. My car payments 14 00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:37,199 Speaker 1: combined are five hundred dollars a month. Okay, And I 15 00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:40,960 Speaker 1: know Reddit thinks women asexually produced children and then forced 16 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:45,120 Speaker 1: men to support them. But my husband enthusiastically wanted children 17 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:48,080 Speaker 1: as well and had an equal role in creating them. 18 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,479 Speaker 1: I didn't know it was a thing, now learned the 19 00:00:50,479 --> 00:00:52,479 Speaker 1: in cells on Reddit. Come on, there we are. My 20 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 1: salary would not have justified the cost of daycare. So 21 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:57,800 Speaker 1: we both did the numbers one hundred different ways, and 22 00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:01,480 Speaker 1: it should still be working. I don't know what the 23 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:04,399 Speaker 1: f he's spending money on, or even the extent of 24 00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 1: the issue, but I know I didn't priviously spend money 25 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:10,280 Speaker 1: like an effing idiot. I bust my ass to keep 26 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:12,959 Speaker 1: our expenses low. The plan was that I would finish 27 00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:15,279 Speaker 1: school and start working again by the time my middle 28 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:17,560 Speaker 1: was in kindergarten, so we would have only one child 29 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 1: in daycare. Okay, it was a good plan. It would 30 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:25,240 Speaker 1: have worked. But then I found out something. What did 31 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:28,839 Speaker 1: ope find out, Samuel, Well, we are fifty thousand dollars 32 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:29,720 Speaker 1: in credit card debt. 33 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:33,200 Speaker 3: In credit card debt, I did not know about this. 34 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:33,840 Speaker 3: Oh my god. 35 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:37,200 Speaker 1: We are also fifty thousand in debt on a home 36 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:37,880 Speaker 1: equity loan. 37 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,000 Speaker 3: Oh, come on, I did know about that. 38 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:44,640 Speaker 1: Okay, We're two months behind on our mortgage and severely 39 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:45,959 Speaker 1: behind on our car payment. 40 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:46,800 Speaker 3: Oh. 41 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,800 Speaker 1: I quit my job when we decided to have the 42 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:51,720 Speaker 1: middle child three years ago. Then we had our youngest 43 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:54,720 Speaker 1: a year ago, and I thought we were fine. I 44 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:58,200 Speaker 1: don't know how this happened. I love him so much. 45 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:01,840 Speaker 1: By all accounts, our our marriage is an ideal marriage, 46 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:04,920 Speaker 1: is it. I thought we did everything right, but I 47 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:07,640 Speaker 1: don't know. I have no idea how we will ever 48 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,440 Speaker 1: come back from this. It'll take years to pay this off. 49 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,560 Speaker 1: I am in school full time, but we'll need to 50 00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:15,880 Speaker 1: drop out because we can obviously no longer afford childcare 51 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:19,640 Speaker 1: while I'm in Classang that just sets us back even 52 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:23,880 Speaker 1: more because my earning potential is lower. The most eft 53 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,120 Speaker 1: up part is that my dad did the same exact 54 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,520 Speaker 1: thing to my mom. It was awful to live through 55 00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:31,200 Speaker 1: as a teenager. It was a serious contributor to me 56 00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:34,840 Speaker 1: being resistant to commitment or even relying on anyone for anything. 57 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:37,959 Speaker 1: My husband obviously knew about this. It was my number 58 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,840 Speaker 1: one reservation when I was quitting my job. I can't 59 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:43,640 Speaker 1: believe I was so stupid. This is my worst fear 60 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:47,520 Speaker 1: coming true, and I have no idea what to do. 61 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:50,280 Speaker 1: And to be clear, we're not living large here. I 62 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:53,280 Speaker 1: cook everything from scratch. We don't get takeout. I use 63 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:56,520 Speaker 1: cloth diapers. I buy kids clothes secondhand or get hand 64 00:02:56,560 --> 00:03:00,080 Speaker 1: me downs. Our cars aren't new, our mortgage is very reasonable. Well, 65 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,480 Speaker 1: we cut all the extra out when I stopped working 66 00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:05,119 Speaker 1: because my job would hardly have paid for daycare. There 67 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:08,640 Speaker 1: is no reason his income should not be enough. I 68 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:11,399 Speaker 1: don't know what he spent money on, but it clearly 69 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:16,920 Speaker 1: wasn't our bills dot dot dot dot dot. Oh we 70 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:17,720 Speaker 1: got an update. 71 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:21,639 Speaker 2: Oh dear, I've sence the direction this is going. 72 00:03:21,720 --> 00:03:22,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, what do you think this update is? 73 00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:28,000 Speaker 2: I think he got some side poot dang some side boot. 74 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:28,320 Speaker 3: Day. 75 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 1: I just realized how bad this is. Oh no, I 76 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,800 Speaker 1: spent the day going through everything and talking to my 77 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:38,760 Speaker 1: husband and he's cheating on me. 78 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,080 Speaker 3: Oh. 79 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:44,320 Speaker 1: The woman has two kids, and I guess he's been 80 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:48,120 Speaker 1: helping her with them, two kids that they have together. 81 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:51,720 Speaker 1: Oh no, they could be his for all I know. Okay, 82 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:55,720 Speaker 1: but she's not sure. Wow, he's currently vomiting and crying 83 00:03:55,720 --> 00:04:00,120 Speaker 1: in the bathroom, So that's something great. I Unfortunately they 84 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:02,080 Speaker 1: have to stay married to him long enough to figure 85 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 1: out the finances, and I'm talking to a bankruptcy lawyer 86 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:08,080 Speaker 1: on Monday. Thank you to everyone who made me feel 87 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:11,520 Speaker 1: a little less known today. Damn, op, I feel for you. 88 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,160 Speaker 3: My God. 89 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:16,760 Speaker 2: Also, like when she said she said in the story, uh, 90 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:20,960 Speaker 2: we have an ideal marriage, I was like, that seems 91 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:21,240 Speaker 2: to me. 92 00:04:21,279 --> 00:04:22,799 Speaker 3: I don't know, it's. 93 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:27,719 Speaker 1: Rocky ground rocky Wow, how do you not notice? 94 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:30,400 Speaker 3: Like? How did you find out just then and not 95 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:30,920 Speaker 3: notice before. 96 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:32,400 Speaker 2: I mean, I've heard one thing I've been doing in 97 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:35,400 Speaker 2: the past few months is like unless she's not stop yeah, yeah, 98 00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:37,839 Speaker 2: Like I used to be like the most insane like 99 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:40,120 Speaker 2: budget dr I would like get envelopes from the bank 100 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:42,599 Speaker 2: for like my groceries and stuff. And then I've like 101 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:45,039 Speaker 2: stopped doing that, and it's like nice to not be 102 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,800 Speaker 2: like constantly thinking about it. Maybe that's what she was doing, 103 00:04:47,839 --> 00:04:49,840 Speaker 2: Like Okay, let me like we have we have the plan. 104 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:50,200 Speaker 3: We've done. 105 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,680 Speaker 2: They crunched the math the DAC or the mortgage, the 106 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:55,160 Speaker 2: car payments, like like she said in the beginning, the 107 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:58,640 Speaker 2: math all worked out, assuming that's what they were spending on, right, 108 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:01,160 Speaker 2: But he probably would able to maybe go under her 109 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,040 Speaker 2: nose because she wasn't. 110 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:05,000 Speaker 1: But like what is he not like putting money in 111 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,239 Speaker 1: the bank account, like the joint bank account every day 112 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:09,520 Speaker 1: or every week or something or every two weeks. 113 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,320 Speaker 2: I think the thing that's crazy is that it went 114 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:13,840 Speaker 2: this this fall. Yeah, I could I could see. I 115 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,120 Speaker 2: could see her like catching it maybe like two or 116 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:17,880 Speaker 2: three months in and being like wait to see yeah, 117 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,720 Speaker 2: some things, but like this sounds like years. 118 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:24,680 Speaker 1: I'm honestly not sure it's fifty thousand dollars in credit 119 00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:26,960 Speaker 1: card debt. Actually that much If you're making one hundred 120 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:27,480 Speaker 1: and forty K. 121 00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:30,360 Speaker 2: Fifty thousand in credit card debt is very bad because 122 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:31,560 Speaker 2: the what. 123 00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:33,240 Speaker 3: Does fifty thousand in credit card debt mean? 124 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:36,280 Speaker 2: It means so you have to pay. They're probably paying 125 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:40,119 Speaker 2: eighteen to thirty percent interest on it. Oh so every 126 00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:43,480 Speaker 2: single month they get charged one twelfth of whatever their 127 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:44,280 Speaker 2: interest rate is. 128 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:46,320 Speaker 3: Oh, so that's that's fucked. 129 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:50,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, let's see fifty times. So they're paying ten grand 130 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:54,440 Speaker 2: a year in interest alone, an interest alone, and that's 131 00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:55,960 Speaker 2: that's like, well, no, no, a thousand. 132 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:57,760 Speaker 1: It would be more than ten grand a year, right 133 00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 1: if it's so let's say it's fifty time twelve No, 134 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:04,440 Speaker 1: so is. 135 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:06,800 Speaker 3: It not fifteen percent a month? No? 136 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,480 Speaker 2: No, no no, So it's like twenty percent annually, So 137 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:11,479 Speaker 2: you divide that by the month. But I mean, I 138 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:15,080 Speaker 2: mean still they could literally pay eight hundred and thirty 139 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,880 Speaker 2: dollars a month on their credit card and literally not 140 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:21,680 Speaker 2: pay off a cent like they could spend. If they 141 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:24,360 Speaker 2: paid down their their credit card bill like like ten 142 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:26,640 Speaker 2: k for the whole year, they would still be fifty 143 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:30,000 Speaker 2: k in debt. 144 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:33,200 Speaker 1: Bad but all right, but even even if that's true, 145 00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:35,039 Speaker 1: like like if you're making one hundred and forty k, 146 00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:38,560 Speaker 1: I feel like that should be like not terrible to 147 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:42,920 Speaker 1: pay off h forty k is like I forget her. 148 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:45,640 Speaker 2: It was good that she put the numbers in the beginning, 149 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:48,400 Speaker 2: but like, how much is there more? How much is 150 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:49,560 Speaker 2: there like so it's. 151 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:51,839 Speaker 1: Two thousand, so yeah, actually, let's let's look through this. 152 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:56,760 Speaker 1: So two thousand dollars a month for the home loan yep, 153 00:06:57,320 --> 00:07:01,479 Speaker 1: five hundred a month for car payments, child care for 154 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:03,880 Speaker 1: three kids, another three grand a month. 155 00:07:03,839 --> 00:07:07,039 Speaker 2: Yeah, for extraneous so I mean six point six point 156 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:11,119 Speaker 2: five sixty five hundred a month and expenses probably okay, 157 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:16,720 Speaker 2: and then you're making eleven thousand, six hundred before taxes. 158 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:20,080 Speaker 2: So maybe that's let's say, let's say he's making around 159 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:21,160 Speaker 2: like nine or ten grand. 160 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:22,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, you're right, you're right. 161 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:26,280 Speaker 2: I mean that's he's still making ten grand, which which. 162 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:29,360 Speaker 3: Probably have like a grand leftover for. 163 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:33,960 Speaker 2: Which isn't which isn't crazy considering that, Well, the crazy 164 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,000 Speaker 2: part is how did he get so in debt? I mean, 165 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:39,280 Speaker 2: he must have been spending a lot on that family. 166 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,440 Speaker 2: That's the only way I want to maybe got a 167 00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:46,040 Speaker 2: credit card in his in his name without without her 168 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:49,840 Speaker 2: having a the account access, so it's like, ye found 169 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:51,840 Speaker 2: out maybe that was like under their joint or his 170 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:53,720 Speaker 2: name or whatever, and then it's like he just never 171 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:56,040 Speaker 2: told her about it and she would never know. 172 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:59,800 Speaker 1: Spooky dude, spooky dang. If you liked that story, check 173 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:03,640 Speaker 1: out this one. I Arrested my fiance for cheatingh