1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:04,160 Speaker 1: Did you really make a list this week? Like, well, 2 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:06,280 Speaker 1: that's what happens when you get called out for Like, 3 00:00:06,559 --> 00:00:09,879 Speaker 1: that's why I left it in. I knew. I was like, 4 00:00:10,039 --> 00:00:14,680 Speaker 1: you know what he needs, he needs a consequence. Yeah, 5 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:17,279 Speaker 1: there should be consequences. And I also thought, you know, 6 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:21,120 Speaker 1: it's like people need to understand that this is fucking real, 7 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:25,600 Speaker 1: you know, like what this podcast? Well yeah, and like us, 8 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:28,200 Speaker 1: it's like, you know, we're doing it in real time. 9 00:00:28,480 --> 00:00:32,159 Speaker 1: So it's you know, I want like we should be 10 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:34,600 Speaker 1: able to call each other out, like because I remember 11 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,239 Speaker 1: you were like should I edit that out? And I'm like, no, 12 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:38,640 Speaker 1: leave it in there. Embarrassed me. Like that's what we 13 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:40,639 Speaker 1: would do. If we were in public and I did 14 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:43,680 Speaker 1: something embarrassing, you wouldn't be like you would be filming 15 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:48,200 Speaker 1: at media in a second. In fact, you might even 16 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:53,199 Speaker 1: like go live. Remember we needed that love that we 17 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:56,640 Speaker 1: don't tempt me. It's like, so I was in the mood. 18 00:00:56,720 --> 00:01:01,440 Speaker 1: I was already like in a mood at you. Basically yeah, 19 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:03,040 Speaker 1: I think it was the same day, wasn't it. That's 20 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:06,720 Speaker 1: the same day. So if anyone's like, what are they 21 00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:09,440 Speaker 1: talking about? This seems like a foreign language. Last week 22 00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:16,080 Speaker 1: on the podcast. I read entire listener email and asked 23 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:18,679 Speaker 1: Hip for his opinion right after, and he did not 24 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:21,360 Speaker 1: hear an ounce of what I read. He was like 25 00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:28,920 Speaker 1: responding to some work emails separately. I'm like, hello, you 26 00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:30,680 Speaker 1: were like, so what do you think? And I was like, 27 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:33,560 Speaker 1: I don't know. I didn't listen. Yeah, you were like, 28 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:36,880 Speaker 1: because you reread it, and I'm like, absolutely not. First 29 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:40,520 Speaker 1: of all, the listeners actually did listen, and I listened 30 00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:45,960 Speaker 1: to myself, so none of us want to you know, 31 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:50,560 Speaker 1: I I deserved it. Yeah, I left it in the part. Well. Also, 32 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:57,160 Speaker 1: this isn't the first time. Chip. Let's get I got 33 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,760 Speaker 1: a long time ago, and I kind of had your 34 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:01,520 Speaker 1: back and I was like, you know what, Susan's right 35 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:07,680 Speaker 1: was onto something. And that's the thing is sism was 36 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:13,760 Speaker 1: always right. I was just me deflexing. Talking was just deflecting. Sorry, Susan, 37 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,760 Speaker 1: I owe you a drink. So then the other thing 38 00:02:17,160 --> 00:02:19,839 Speaker 1: was we went to a friend's birthday party right after, 39 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,040 Speaker 1: which was also the other reason that I couldn't edit, 40 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:25,720 Speaker 1: Like this had to go to press immediately, and so 41 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:29,160 Speaker 1: it got sent off. I left it in the first thing. 42 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:31,480 Speaker 1: Chip announces when we go to the surprise party is 43 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:33,600 Speaker 1: that he got caught out on the podcast for not 44 00:02:33,639 --> 00:02:37,960 Speaker 1: paying attention. And then we go to dinner after the 45 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:43,600 Speaker 1: party and he was singing Indigo Girls along other day 46 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:46,080 Speaker 1: and he said he dared me to go live on 47 00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:48,880 Speaker 1: my Instagram, and so I did because I was like, 48 00:02:49,120 --> 00:02:53,359 Speaker 1: don't dare me? So I so I gave the performance 49 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:59,040 Speaker 1: of a lifetime. Well yeah, I didn't get any more 50 00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:06,760 Speaker 1: follow It wasn't actually got no people were on, but 51 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:11,680 Speaker 1: I think they were so confused. And then one of 52 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:14,280 Speaker 1: our friends said to me, you should probably in this, 53 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:18,360 Speaker 1: and I was like okay. So it was like the 54 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:21,919 Speaker 1: slow like lower of the thumb, like okay, fine. She's 55 00:03:21,919 --> 00:03:23,880 Speaker 1: like it's funny to us, but I mean no one 56 00:03:23,919 --> 00:03:25,520 Speaker 1: else gets it. And I was like, I know, I'm 57 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:29,680 Speaker 1: just trying to punish Chip today because the punish over 58 00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:34,200 Speaker 1: here anyway. I know the justice piece, man, I'm still 59 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:38,360 Speaker 1: working on it. So it's October, which is actually my 60 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 1: favorite month, so I'm very happy. The weather in Nashville 61 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:45,400 Speaker 1: has been amazing. It's just like there's something that happens 62 00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:48,680 Speaker 1: that day. You feel the switch. It's like this crisp 63 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:53,400 Speaker 1: fall air, the leaves start changing. I don't know, the energy, 64 00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:56,000 Speaker 1: like the it's football season. I want to make a 65 00:03:56,040 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 1: bowl of chili every weekend. Like it's just a cozy time, 66 00:04:00,760 --> 00:04:05,920 Speaker 1: wouldn't you say? A hundred and like it is. I 67 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,600 Speaker 1: mean today it's it's a little schizophrenic, which is kind 68 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 1: of nice. But it's always it's just in this like 69 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:13,960 Speaker 1: nice nice, Like I'm wearing a sweatshirt today because it 70 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:16,400 Speaker 1: was chili this morning. I went outside for lunch and 71 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:24,320 Speaker 1: did yeah. Yeah. But always it's it ends upsettling on this, 72 00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:28,240 Speaker 1: Like the evenings are amazing, the mornings are amazing. I 73 00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:31,080 Speaker 1: love this time of year and the same exact time 74 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:33,440 Speaker 1: in the spring where it's like you're coming out of 75 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:37,680 Speaker 1: the winter and like you see that first flower bloom 76 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:40,800 Speaker 1: and someone's brave enough to put shorts on and you're 77 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:46,240 Speaker 1: just like here we go. Yeah it's time. Yeah, I agree, 78 00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:48,960 Speaker 1: I agree, and I'm ready for it. But we were 79 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:51,440 Speaker 1: talking about just you know, we do a theme every 80 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:54,720 Speaker 1: month here on the Velvet Edge podcast, and we were like, 81 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:57,400 Speaker 1: what would October feel like, because it does feel cozy 82 00:04:57,400 --> 00:05:01,200 Speaker 1: and it's always sayings and it's also spooky season. It's 83 00:05:01,240 --> 00:05:04,440 Speaker 1: like it's Halloween and there's all of these different energies 84 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:08,480 Speaker 1: of just like a little bit scary. There's a lot 85 00:05:08,520 --> 00:05:12,400 Speaker 1: of transition. It's scorpios season. We're still in libor right now, 86 00:05:12,440 --> 00:05:15,840 Speaker 1: but you know there's a lot of like that scorpio energy, 87 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:20,120 Speaker 1: which is really about a deep dive into your shadow. 88 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:27,000 Speaker 1: So shadow work, fear, scaryes spooky season, and we were like, oh, 89 00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:30,279 Speaker 1: we have to talk about fear and just overcoming fear, 90 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:34,720 Speaker 1: so everything related on We'll go ahead. I was gonna say, 91 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:36,480 Speaker 1: I'm a Scorpio. Is that why I kind of lived 92 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:41,960 Speaker 1: a fear? Oh? Interesting, that's a question for your therapist, 93 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:47,200 Speaker 1: call mar Yeah, well Marv is going to be on 94 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,680 Speaker 1: the podcast talking about that, so maybe I'll ask him 95 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:53,320 Speaker 1: for you. Um. But well, if I was a special 96 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:56,720 Speaker 1: guest on that eppisode, you can jump in always. You 97 00:05:56,880 --> 00:05:58,920 Speaker 1: welcome as long as you take notes and pay attention. 98 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:06,000 Speaker 1: Um okay, um no. But like, there are a lot 99 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:08,839 Speaker 1: of fear things going around, and like we want to 100 00:06:08,880 --> 00:06:11,599 Speaker 1: take the power back against fear. You know, like I 101 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:14,320 Speaker 1: think as you work in your shadows sometimes and look 102 00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:18,080 Speaker 1: at the hard parts, the benefit of that is that 103 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,800 Speaker 1: you can feel immense amounts of joy, and so it's 104 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,120 Speaker 1: the same with fear. Like, if you are unaware of 105 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:27,680 Speaker 1: the fear that's driving you, you're making really strong decisions 106 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:31,719 Speaker 1: based on something that's probably not actually in alignment with you. Um. 107 00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:33,960 Speaker 1: And so if you can like look at the fears 108 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:37,839 Speaker 1: and face the fears and overcome the fears, there's probably 109 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:40,440 Speaker 1: a whole other side of it that is like a 110 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:45,000 Speaker 1: life that you never even knew existed, right right. Well, 111 00:06:45,080 --> 00:06:48,080 Speaker 1: you know it's funny because when we started talking about 112 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:52,600 Speaker 1: this being the topic, it reminded me I can't in 113 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,760 Speaker 1: front of mind posted this on Instagram and I was like, 114 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:57,640 Speaker 1: it kind of shook me. So I'm gonna start with us. 115 00:06:58,040 --> 00:06:59,880 Speaker 1: I don't I don't know this doctor. Her name is 116 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:04,760 Speaker 1: Airline Leaf. She's like a neurow neurow something, neuroscientist. No 117 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:09,800 Speaker 1: it's not that neuro psychologist something whatever something, but she 118 00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:12,000 Speaker 1: it was like a handwritten quote that she wrote just 119 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:13,920 Speaker 1: on a blank sheet of white paper, and it said, 120 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:19,240 Speaker 1: worry is a misuse of imagination. And it kind of 121 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:23,960 Speaker 1: like just shook me because it it is you're just like, um, 122 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:26,720 Speaker 1: when you live in that sort of fear cycle and 123 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:31,720 Speaker 1: in any in any sense of the imagination, like what 124 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:34,680 Speaker 1: a waste of time you know, you're you're literally just 125 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:40,480 Speaker 1: running through outcomes that are likely never to be versus 126 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:44,360 Speaker 1: getting to an outcome and having to react to it. 127 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:49,760 Speaker 1: What like what a like it's like robbing yourself of 128 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:53,800 Speaker 1: potential joy. That's exactly right, And that's why I think 129 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:56,360 Speaker 1: it's so important to just kind of address the fears, 130 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:59,080 Speaker 1: are even addressed the unknown. Like you and I were 131 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:02,480 Speaker 1: talking about we're gonna have one a dominatrix this month, 132 00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:05,000 Speaker 1: which is so exciting to me. It's something I know 133 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,680 Speaker 1: nothing about. I had talked about this before because I 134 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:09,320 Speaker 1: was going to go to a workshop she puts on. 135 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:14,120 Speaker 1: Um it's all about power play, and I couldn't it 136 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:16,880 Speaker 1: couldn't go because of COVID. It ended up not happening, 137 00:08:16,920 --> 00:08:19,280 Speaker 1: But um, she's going to come on and talk about 138 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:21,880 Speaker 1: like the work that she does and the power and 139 00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:24,400 Speaker 1: the power dynamics and and you and I were saying, 140 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,800 Speaker 1: like this is like foreign territory and so it's a 141 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,000 Speaker 1: little scary and the unknown, and you know, I think 142 00:08:30,040 --> 00:08:31,480 Speaker 1: a lot of people would be like, oh my god, 143 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:35,520 Speaker 1: a dominatrix. Are you serious? But that's what's cool about life, right, 144 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:38,480 Speaker 1: It's like we have all of these things and all 145 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:41,120 Speaker 1: of these people. And I think we can so often 146 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,480 Speaker 1: just get kind of like in our little box, in 147 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:46,520 Speaker 1: our little world and our little circle, and you don't 148 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:50,120 Speaker 1: expand your vision because we're scared. Like, I think that 149 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,640 Speaker 1: is a huge thing of what's happening in our culture 150 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:55,120 Speaker 1: right now at all. Like when we were first talking 151 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:58,440 Speaker 1: about even doing this podcast today, you and I both 152 00:08:58,440 --> 00:09:01,520 Speaker 1: were so scared to pick a pop culture topic because 153 00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:03,840 Speaker 1: we're like, we're gonna get canceled if we say that. 154 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:06,760 Speaker 1: We get it's just like it's so fucking scary to 155 00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,320 Speaker 1: talk right now and to have an opinion. And I 156 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:12,600 Speaker 1: think so much of what's happening is everyone's retreating back 157 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:15,600 Speaker 1: into their little like world with the people that think 158 00:09:15,679 --> 00:09:20,199 Speaker 1: exactly like them, um, because we're scared of the unknown 159 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:23,920 Speaker 1: and the things that we don't know anything about. Well, 160 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:26,559 Speaker 1: and also like it plays into I mean, we won't 161 00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:28,880 Speaker 1: go into the topic that we chose not to talk about, 162 00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:32,680 Speaker 1: but your opinion had changed. So there's also the fear 163 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:36,800 Speaker 1: of change. You know, we're we're not only do we 164 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:42,280 Speaker 1: fear change ourselves, but we fear people seeing us change 165 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:47,000 Speaker 1: and like being like I changed my mind, which is 166 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:50,680 Speaker 1: a very human thing to do. But it's like we 167 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:55,000 Speaker 1: expect things of ourselves, like to never have a different 168 00:09:55,040 --> 00:10:00,000 Speaker 1: opinion from you know, our circle, or to never change 169 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,079 Speaker 1: your mind to get it right the first time, And 170 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:06,800 Speaker 1: that's so unrealistic even have a conversation about it, because 171 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:10,040 Speaker 1: I'm so scared I'm gonna piss eight million people off. 172 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:17,480 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I can't take any more trolls, goddamn it. Yeah, 173 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:21,880 Speaker 1: I mean it's I, um, it's definitely a fear of mine. 174 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:27,040 Speaker 1: Like I I operate from a place of not wanting 175 00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:31,600 Speaker 1: to do something, um or say something unless I know 176 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:35,439 Speaker 1: it's right or I'm good at something, and like how 177 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,640 Speaker 1: much am I missing out on? Like oh, no, I 178 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,520 Speaker 1: don't want to play pickle ball because I'm not going 179 00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:41,280 Speaker 1: to be good at it. Like I could end up 180 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:43,520 Speaker 1: being fucking great at it if I gave it a 181 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:47,240 Speaker 1: shot to be good at it when you pick it 182 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:50,680 Speaker 1: up the first time, you know, right, of course. Yeah, 183 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:55,440 Speaker 1: it's a defense mechanism. Yeah, you know, it's it's easier 184 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:59,040 Speaker 1: to say no because I'm worried about failing. But of 185 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:03,520 Speaker 1: course you're going to fail until you learn something. It's learning, 186 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:07,360 Speaker 1: you know, It's it's crazy, but but it's it's I mean, 187 00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:09,360 Speaker 1: I think it is a pretty common part of the 188 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:13,600 Speaker 1: human condition. I think we want to feel safe. Um. 189 00:11:13,679 --> 00:11:15,400 Speaker 1: It made that that whole thing just made me think 190 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:16,880 Speaker 1: of a quote that I read the other day from 191 00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:20,520 Speaker 1: a broadcast journalist named Andy Roney. Had said, everyone wants 192 00:11:20,559 --> 00:11:22,719 Speaker 1: to live on the top of the mountain, but all 193 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:25,560 Speaker 1: the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it. It 194 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:29,760 Speaker 1: is so it's so true, and it's like it's also 195 00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:33,559 Speaker 1: where the scary shit happens to. Um. But I think 196 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:36,760 Speaker 1: if you can have the courage to face your fear, 197 00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:41,320 Speaker 1: to find the joy to do all the things, then 198 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,520 Speaker 1: the top of the mountain is something that's always going 199 00:11:44,559 --> 00:11:46,040 Speaker 1: to be in front of you because you live in 200 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:50,040 Speaker 1: a space that allows you to fail and breathe and 201 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:54,040 Speaker 1: learn and laugh and all of the things that make 202 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:57,680 Speaker 1: you human. Hell um, And and you can just sort 203 00:11:57,679 --> 00:12:00,760 Speaker 1: of accept that that is the true human in condition 204 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:05,360 Speaker 1: and you're not like it's the top of the mountain. 205 00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:07,960 Speaker 1: Isn't just something that you'll never get to Like, at 206 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:12,040 Speaker 1: a certain point, you love yourself and the journey enough 207 00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:16,960 Speaker 1: that like the destination doesn't matter. It's right, And I 208 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:21,000 Speaker 1: think the destination is nice but I do feel like 209 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:23,480 Speaker 1: I say this a lot in the interviews that I do, 210 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:26,920 Speaker 1: because I like to know people's backstories and how they 211 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:30,320 Speaker 1: got to where they are, because so often we hear 212 00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:34,320 Speaker 1: about all the successes and all of the you know, 213 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:36,600 Speaker 1: accolades that people are getting, and we look at them 214 00:12:36,640 --> 00:12:38,400 Speaker 1: and we're like, oh my god, they're amazing, and we 215 00:12:38,559 --> 00:12:41,760 Speaker 1: don't know the journey, the climb, the mountain, all the 216 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:44,040 Speaker 1: stuff that you're talking about. You know, we missed that 217 00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:48,120 Speaker 1: part of it, which is such it's such a sad thing. 218 00:12:48,240 --> 00:12:51,360 Speaker 1: It's like a detriment to me. It's a detriment to 219 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:56,400 Speaker 1: society because it's like everyone's comparing themselves to the person 220 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:58,720 Speaker 1: that's successful, but they don't look at like how much 221 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:01,680 Speaker 1: work went into something or how many times they failed 222 00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:05,240 Speaker 1: before they succeeded, And so we all have these unrealistic 223 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:08,240 Speaker 1: expectations of ourselves because of that, you know, Like I 224 00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:11,520 Speaker 1: just think that narrative of the whole story is so 225 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:15,080 Speaker 1: important so that a lot of times we can maybe 226 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:17,400 Speaker 1: face some of our fears and put ourselves out there 227 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:21,720 Speaker 1: or not let the fear stop us, knowing it's a 228 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:25,680 Speaker 1: journey and like we will eventually get to whatever destination 229 00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:29,120 Speaker 1: we're supposed to. That's like it's already mapped out, like 230 00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:33,640 Speaker 1: Marv always says, but but if we don't do the climb, 231 00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:38,920 Speaker 1: will never get there. Yeah, yeah, it's Um. I wonder 232 00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:41,839 Speaker 1: how much social media has sort of amplified and made 233 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:48,400 Speaker 1: this fear um larger and all of us um because 234 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:51,920 Speaker 1: we it's like we if you look at you know, 235 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:55,040 Speaker 1: Instagram for example, it is people putting their best lives 236 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:58,319 Speaker 1: out there. So it's like we're it's to be playing 237 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:00,680 Speaker 1: that comparison game. You're always looking and being like, God, 238 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:03,440 Speaker 1: their life looks so amazing, but they're not put people 239 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:05,679 Speaker 1: out putting their failures. And now I work with an 240 00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:07,800 Speaker 1: artist named Jesse Wilson and we're going to shoot something 241 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:10,080 Speaker 1: next week and she's an independent artist, doesn't have a 242 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:13,600 Speaker 1: ton of money, um, and we're shooting this on a 243 00:14:13,679 --> 00:14:16,280 Speaker 1: shoestring budget. And I was like, Hey, I just want 244 00:14:16,320 --> 00:14:18,280 Speaker 1: to let you know, like, I think you look fantastic 245 00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:20,280 Speaker 1: when you put yourself on camera, you do your glam 246 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,880 Speaker 1: really well, you look beautiful. That I think that's one 247 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:25,200 Speaker 1: of the things that we can probably skimp on. And 248 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:28,920 Speaker 1: she says to me, which I thought was like, um, 249 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:31,480 Speaker 1: it's just well informed about herself. She was like, yeah, 250 00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:33,720 Speaker 1: you know, I've been thinking about that. She's like, why 251 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,600 Speaker 1: do I need to make myself look like I'm a 252 00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:41,200 Speaker 1: big successful artist when I'm not. Like, I'll get there, 253 00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:43,200 Speaker 1: but I want to look like I did my own 254 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,720 Speaker 1: hair and makeup. And I thought that was like a 255 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:51,200 Speaker 1: really like brave thing to say, especially in the business 256 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:54,080 Speaker 1: that we're in where it's about making everything look like 257 00:14:54,120 --> 00:15:01,600 Speaker 1: it's perfect and everyone's already succeeded. It's so interesting because God, 258 00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:03,480 Speaker 1: I love that first of all. I mean, it's just 259 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:06,480 Speaker 1: kind of accepting where you are and leaning in and knowing. 260 00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,920 Speaker 1: I love that she said I'll get there, and like 261 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:12,240 Speaker 1: that she has the confidence like this is just a 262 00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:18,280 Speaker 1: stepping stone to that destination. Um. But what's interesting about 263 00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:21,760 Speaker 1: social media? I think, and and I'm saying this because 264 00:15:21,800 --> 00:15:25,560 Speaker 1: like I have tried to really be open about where 265 00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:27,440 Speaker 1: I've been the last couple of years, and it's been 266 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:32,800 Speaker 1: messy and ugly and there's been breakdowns and all the things, 267 00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:37,440 Speaker 1: and I share that, um, And then I feel the 268 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:41,080 Speaker 1: pressure almost to like get my ship together, because if 269 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:43,760 Speaker 1: you do it for too long or too much or 270 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:48,720 Speaker 1: too often, people kind of are like, but is she okay? 271 00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:52,400 Speaker 1: Or is like they start to really like, girl, you okay? 272 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,040 Speaker 1: You know, instead the whole like, thank you so much 273 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:59,080 Speaker 1: for being vulnerable. It's switches really fast, and so we 274 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:02,320 Speaker 1: don't really like we kind of want it. But then 275 00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:05,200 Speaker 1: I think all of us have this thing that kicks 276 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:06,720 Speaker 1: in where we kind of need to go back to 277 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:09,560 Speaker 1: the fantasy, you know, Like I mean I really feel 278 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:12,360 Speaker 1: that with Brady Speakers right now, so like I need 279 00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:14,600 Speaker 1: writty back. But I mean, I don't know what's going 280 00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:16,520 Speaker 1: on there. I don't know if there's real mental health issues. 281 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:18,440 Speaker 1: I don't know who to believe in that story. It 282 00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:21,240 Speaker 1: feels so confused about the whole thing. But but I 283 00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:27,000 Speaker 1: think she's definitely not helping herself out there. At the 284 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:29,480 Speaker 1: same time, because I know where I've been, I start 285 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:33,000 Speaker 1: to go, is she mentally ill and is this as 286 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:35,000 Speaker 1: bad as we think it is? Or she just like 287 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,600 Speaker 1: fuck it and she's just doing the ebbs and flows 288 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:40,280 Speaker 1: of her feelings, you know, and like as she processes 289 00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:45,920 Speaker 1: a super traumatic decade or almost two decades of her life. Oh. 290 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,760 Speaker 1: I mean, it's hard to know because we're not in 291 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:50,320 Speaker 1: that situation, but I do think it's like we have 292 00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:53,000 Speaker 1: a really we want it a little bit, but then 293 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,120 Speaker 1: we have a low tolerance, and I think that's because 294 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:59,200 Speaker 1: of our own fears. It's like people want to know 295 00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:02,800 Speaker 1: my full story or whatever, and it starts to scare 296 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:04,440 Speaker 1: them if I don't get my shows together and get 297 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:07,639 Speaker 1: back to like empowerment pretty fast or something, you know 298 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:10,119 Speaker 1: what I mean. Like that's that's how I interpret it, 299 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:14,840 Speaker 1: And I think that's interesting. Yeah, I mean I don't 300 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:18,040 Speaker 1: It's I don't really have I haven't ever really had 301 00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:22,520 Speaker 1: anything play out publicly, so um, I can't really speak 302 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:25,280 Speaker 1: to that experience. But I mean I guess I could 303 00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:29,680 Speaker 1: look at like, um, you know how I differ from 304 00:17:29,720 --> 00:17:31,600 Speaker 1: my family, and I was the kid that like flew 305 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:34,640 Speaker 1: to Coop and I work in this like flashy world 306 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:38,000 Speaker 1: and it's, um, you know, there's a little bit of like, 307 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:41,800 Speaker 1: um feeling like I need to give that fantasy to 308 00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:43,920 Speaker 1: my friend, Like what my mom is never going to 309 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:47,800 Speaker 1: understand what I do, fully like because it's so outside 310 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:51,360 Speaker 1: of her just wheelhouse in general. And you know, I'll 311 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,040 Speaker 1: be on the phone with her and she'll tell me, like, 312 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,880 Speaker 1: you know, I ran into sde SO and they asked 313 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:58,040 Speaker 1: about you, and I told him he's also running around 314 00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:01,400 Speaker 1: with all these famous people, and it's like, in her mind, 315 00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,000 Speaker 1: that's what it is. You know. It's like, that's not 316 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:08,560 Speaker 1: what I'm doing. You know, I work with some famous people, 317 00:18:08,680 --> 00:18:10,760 Speaker 1: but I know I'm not just running around with a 318 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:13,280 Speaker 1: famous people. Like shit, I wish that was my life. 319 00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:16,960 Speaker 1: It would be a whole lot easier. But yeah, it's 320 00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:20,160 Speaker 1: But so in some ways it's like I don't correct 321 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:23,760 Speaker 1: her because it's like that fantasy is really important to her. 322 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,359 Speaker 1: But then I also like, well, how much of my 323 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:32,399 Speaker 1: like actually trying to make that real for her versus 324 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:33,840 Speaker 1: just getting the job done? You know what I mean. 325 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:37,720 Speaker 1: It's like, um, and it's not that I feel like 326 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:40,199 Speaker 1: some incredible pressure from it, but like that might be 327 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:45,199 Speaker 1: the closest example in my life what you've experienced with 328 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:48,919 Speaker 1: like these public things happening. So yeah, and I mean 329 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:51,840 Speaker 1: I think it just becomes then to bring it back 330 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:54,959 Speaker 1: to fear, you just get a little bit scared of 331 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,920 Speaker 1: how much you can show people. And I think that's 332 00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:00,200 Speaker 1: just all of us. I don't think that means that's 333 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,440 Speaker 1: because stuff of mine has played out publicly. I think 334 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:05,000 Speaker 1: it's like, you know, we have to decide who we 335 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,280 Speaker 1: can share our insides with and who's safe for that? 336 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:12,040 Speaker 1: And um, and it's just yeah, it's just a fine line. 337 00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:14,120 Speaker 1: But the social media thing does add a whole another 338 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,879 Speaker 1: layer to all of our fears, I think, and especially 339 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:19,159 Speaker 1: because of the comparison peace, like we can all just 340 00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:22,000 Speaker 1: kind of compare and all this stuff. I thought that 341 00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:25,320 Speaker 1: article you sent me was really really interesting though about 342 00:19:25,359 --> 00:19:28,520 Speaker 1: the reasons. What was it? It was like the ten 343 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:34,960 Speaker 1: top ten fears that hold people back in life according 344 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,880 Speaker 1: to a psychotherapist according Okay, is this the same one 345 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:41,440 Speaker 1: that you referenced earlier? Now it's a different psychotherapist. Um, yeah, 346 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,439 Speaker 1: different psychist therapist. That one was one that I just 347 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:46,840 Speaker 1: saw on Instagram, a one shared. Yeah, and all of 348 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:51,120 Speaker 1: them I read with a very like yep. And it's 349 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:53,280 Speaker 1: just interesting and we can we'll tell we'll tell you 350 00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:55,959 Speaker 1: guys what the top ten reasons are in just a second. 351 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:59,520 Speaker 1: But it's interesting because as we've watched the stuff play 352 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:03,639 Speaker 1: out with the pandemic, with now inflation and you know, 353 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:07,040 Speaker 1: an impending recession, all the things like that, I think 354 00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:11,280 Speaker 1: they're God vaccines and like, I mean, everything I can 355 00:20:11,359 --> 00:20:14,320 Speaker 1: there's like I can't even name them all because there's 356 00:20:14,359 --> 00:20:18,399 Speaker 1: so many things that are just like based off of fear, 357 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:22,320 Speaker 1: and it's like, no wonder most of us are feeling overwhelmed, 358 00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:26,439 Speaker 1: like maybe depressed, not knowing where to pick up and 359 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:30,320 Speaker 1: start over, like put our energy because it's like all 360 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:33,840 Speaker 1: ten of these things have been brought probably to everyone's 361 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:36,560 Speaker 1: life in some capacity over the last couple of years. 362 00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:39,800 Speaker 1: Wouldn't you say, well, yeah, And I think again not 363 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,080 Speaker 1: to blame it all on social media, but I think 364 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:45,760 Speaker 1: it's amplified it because you know, you're you're getting so 365 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:51,600 Speaker 1: much more information from various sources, You're being judged in 366 00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:54,320 Speaker 1: a way that you know you haven't been judged before. 367 00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:59,520 Speaker 1: You're feeling a pressure to make everything look like life 368 00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:06,240 Speaker 1: is grand into a hunky dory. UM. I just like, UM, 369 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,560 Speaker 1: we live in a time now that like we're all 370 00:21:08,640 --> 00:21:12,840 Speaker 1: navigating this new space and it's and it's it's really 371 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:15,960 Speaker 1: really scary, and I think that UM, it's important for 372 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:19,040 Speaker 1: us to reflect on it and figure out the best 373 00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:24,720 Speaker 1: path forward, UM, because I I know I I struggle 374 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:30,400 Speaker 1: with it like most people probably would. You know, UM 375 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:36,960 Speaker 1: with fear probably choose to UM live a little less 376 00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:41,159 Speaker 1: risk averse lives with which could lead to some of 377 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:45,760 Speaker 1: these things like loneliness and sadness and um and probably 378 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:50,720 Speaker 1: and eventually depression if you if you shelter yourself enough, UM, 379 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:54,240 Speaker 1: it can lead to a really sad, depressing situation where 380 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:58,560 Speaker 1: I try to live the most exciting life but recognize 381 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:03,680 Speaker 1: that I don't won't um give enough attention to my 382 00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:10,520 Speaker 1: sadness and um, I just don't reflect enough on that stuff. Um. 383 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:12,800 Speaker 1: And in some ways it's like, okay, cool, it's like 384 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:15,199 Speaker 1: if it if it's not bothering me, that it's just 385 00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:17,800 Speaker 1: power on. But I do think it's really important sometimes 386 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:21,240 Speaker 1: to um sort of live in those and you have 387 00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:25,080 Speaker 1: to live in those emotions. UM. And I am really 388 00:22:25,119 --> 00:22:27,320 Speaker 1: bad about it, like I kind of ignore when I'm saying, 389 00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:28,720 Speaker 1: I'd just like to want to get up and move 390 00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:30,480 Speaker 1: on to the next thing. And that's because you're on 391 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:35,560 Speaker 1: angiogram seven. Luckily you have me in your life, and 392 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,399 Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't not feel my feeling. I'll let 393 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,040 Speaker 1: you do the cry and I'll let you do that. 394 00:22:40,119 --> 00:22:42,159 Speaker 1: You're just saying, like you know, you always have a 395 00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:47,800 Speaker 1: safe place to land with feelings because here, yeah, floor 396 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,680 Speaker 1: over here, I'll sit with you all day and that 397 00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:56,159 Speaker 1: ship one of the hot things on that list that 398 00:22:56,359 --> 00:22:58,240 Speaker 1: was changed. And so just to speak to what you 399 00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:00,920 Speaker 1: were just saying, there is so much change happening, and 400 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:02,400 Speaker 1: I think a lot of us will keep going back 401 00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:06,280 Speaker 1: into denial of like, hey, when life gets back to normal, 402 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:10,920 Speaker 1: and it's probably not like there's a new normal, And 403 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:13,520 Speaker 1: I hate when people say that a little bit um 404 00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:15,320 Speaker 1: and I think, but I think the most scary part 405 00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:17,399 Speaker 1: for that of that for most of us is like 406 00:23:17,520 --> 00:23:20,119 Speaker 1: we don't really know what that looks like, and so 407 00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,800 Speaker 1: you do go back to your old ways, you know. 408 00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,239 Speaker 1: And I mean it could be as simple as like 409 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:27,320 Speaker 1: I talked about this all the time of my battle 410 00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:29,879 Speaker 1: with myself on social media, like there's this part of 411 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:32,800 Speaker 1: me that really wants to be seen fully and so 412 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:35,600 Speaker 1: it's like, here's my insides. But then I'm like, yeah, 413 00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:37,720 Speaker 1: and I still love to make a pretty picture because 414 00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:41,320 Speaker 1: my whole job in life is like working on outsides 415 00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:43,840 Speaker 1: and I love it, you know, that's where my creativity 416 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:46,000 Speaker 1: comes out. And so I don't know, it's just so 417 00:23:46,119 --> 00:23:48,040 Speaker 1: it's an interesting battle that I think we're all kind 418 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:51,399 Speaker 1: of going through on our own different layers or different 419 00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:55,080 Speaker 1: capacities of just like the change happening in our culture 420 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:58,240 Speaker 1: and our world, and like what do we do next? 421 00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:02,600 Speaker 1: Because it's uncertain. I don't know, do you know? No, 422 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:05,399 Speaker 1: I mean I would be a lot richer if I 423 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:09,440 Speaker 1: had figured that out. Yeah, I mean, look, it's I 424 00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:13,280 Speaker 1: even think that, like it can be scary to change 425 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:16,000 Speaker 1: for the better, Like there there is fear, like just 426 00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:19,320 Speaker 1: overall change, like changing for the better. It can be 427 00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:24,040 Speaker 1: scary too, because, um, it affects your life and it's 428 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:29,000 Speaker 1: really easy to be comfortable in what you're used to. Um. 429 00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:32,480 Speaker 1: I mean I've I know that. You know, I've tried 430 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:35,000 Speaker 1: to buy a new house a couple of times and 431 00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:39,720 Speaker 1: even downsizing, and it's like the idea of having to 432 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:44,919 Speaker 1: rewrite what my life looks like by moving to another 433 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:48,080 Speaker 1: neighborhood in the city that I live in is scary 434 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,560 Speaker 1: and it's like it definitely there were talking about them, 435 00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:52,040 Speaker 1: like I love this house, but I just can't. I 436 00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:55,280 Speaker 1: can't deal with it right now. You know. It's like, um, 437 00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:59,480 Speaker 1: maybe the overwhelmed to shut you down right right when 438 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:02,800 Speaker 1: I when I also know my critical brain like that 439 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:06,800 Speaker 1: what I really want to do is move. Oh yeah, 440 00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:08,760 Speaker 1: I want to smallow our house, Like I know that 441 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:13,080 Speaker 1: would make me happier. Um, but the change is scary. Yeah, 442 00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:16,439 Speaker 1: change is always scary. Some of the other ones you 443 00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:22,480 Speaker 1: mentioned loneliness, failure, rejection, rejection is a big one, especially 444 00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:27,080 Speaker 1: in dating. Yeah, it holds me back, it does. Oh 445 00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:29,719 Speaker 1: my god. Yeah, that's I mean. I think it's one 446 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:32,040 Speaker 1: of the main reasons why I'm single is because it's 447 00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:34,600 Speaker 1: easier to be single than it is to feel like 448 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:37,320 Speaker 1: no one wants me. Do you know that the apps 449 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:40,879 Speaker 1: are actually helping me with that? Which is it maybe 450 00:25:40,880 --> 00:25:47,720 Speaker 1: like sounds weird, but because there's like well no, no, 451 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:50,639 Speaker 1: I mean I guess it could there could be like 452 00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:54,399 Speaker 1: there's always another or whatever kind of mentality. But I 453 00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:57,399 Speaker 1: think because it's not so solely focused on one person, 454 00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:59,600 Speaker 1: like I'm a little more worried about when I do 455 00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:03,520 Speaker 1: act actually find someone I like, like the rejection piece 456 00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:06,439 Speaker 1: kicking in there, like will he like me back? Or 457 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,040 Speaker 1: what if I like we go on a couple of 458 00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:11,480 Speaker 1: dates and it gets a little more serious, Like that 459 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:14,640 Speaker 1: seems to me be to me where maybe my fear 460 00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:17,720 Speaker 1: of rejection would kick in more than like this initial 461 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:19,520 Speaker 1: when I'm just going to meet these guys on coffee 462 00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:21,760 Speaker 1: that I don't know at all, and then it's just 463 00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:25,199 Speaker 1: like a quick hey, that's this isn't a match for 464 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,560 Speaker 1: me because it just doesn't feel as personal. It's like 465 00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:30,280 Speaker 1: such a non event. I was saying that else, like 466 00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:33,760 Speaker 1: it's just it sounds so scary at first, like it's 467 00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:36,359 Speaker 1: what's kept me off of the apps for so many years. 468 00:26:37,320 --> 00:26:39,800 Speaker 1: But then like you go do it and you're just 469 00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:42,280 Speaker 1: kind of like, well, this is fine. It's just like 470 00:26:42,359 --> 00:26:44,480 Speaker 1: a way to meet new people and some of them 471 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:46,679 Speaker 1: are going to stay your friends. Maybe there will be 472 00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:49,159 Speaker 1: a romantic connection, but for the most part, you're just 473 00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:52,439 Speaker 1: like okay, cool and like respectfully just walk away, and like, 474 00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:56,720 Speaker 1: I guess it just doesn't feel as big. Maybe, like 475 00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:01,000 Speaker 1: does that make sense? I don't know. Yeah, well, I 476 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:04,920 Speaker 1: mean I I do think that like it creates a 477 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:10,439 Speaker 1: smoother runway to it, because it's like, um, if the 478 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:13,680 Speaker 1: conversation is really good or they're witty or something like that, 479 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:17,480 Speaker 1: Like you can go into a first date with somebody 480 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,560 Speaker 1: being like they do make me laugh and I know 481 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,440 Speaker 1: that already, versus like seeing someone cute across the bar 482 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,240 Speaker 1: and being like I'm gonna go hit on that person 483 00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:29,440 Speaker 1: and see if it works. Like that is instant rejection, 484 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:32,480 Speaker 1: you know, whereas this is like I don't think people 485 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:35,639 Speaker 1: do that anymore, though I really don't. I mean, I 486 00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:39,159 Speaker 1: feel like I know people that do. You do. My 487 00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:43,000 Speaker 1: friend John gets girls numbers all the time, and he's 488 00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:45,399 Speaker 1: kind of just like I could walk out of this 489 00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:47,879 Speaker 1: coffee shop right now and never see that person again, 490 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:51,400 Speaker 1: or I could shoot my shot. And like I think 491 00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:54,359 Speaker 1: most of times people I mean, he's a good looking dude, 492 00:27:54,480 --> 00:27:57,639 Speaker 1: so I think most most of the time it works 493 00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:00,800 Speaker 1: for him. But like I mean, I love that mentality. 494 00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:02,760 Speaker 1: I wish I had a little bit of that in me. 495 00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:07,080 Speaker 1: You know, it's like, why not, right if you're going 496 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:09,080 Speaker 1: to spend your life wondering what happened to that girl 497 00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:13,560 Speaker 1: in the coffee shop, is it worth? Is it worth 498 00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:16,920 Speaker 1: not shooting your shot? I don't think it's probably not. 499 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:20,000 Speaker 1: But I don't have I don't have that in me 500 00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:22,800 Speaker 1: to do it. You know. Well, I think the thing 501 00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:26,959 Speaker 1: about rejection is so often when someone and I'm speaking 502 00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:30,480 Speaker 1: specifically about dating, but when someone's not picking us or whatever, 503 00:28:30,560 --> 00:28:34,240 Speaker 1: it feels so personal. And that's maybe something I'm learning 504 00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:39,040 Speaker 1: even is that like in most cases when I'm saying 505 00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:41,880 Speaker 1: no to these guys, it's actually not personal to them 506 00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,240 Speaker 1: a lot of times. It's just I'm starting to learn myself. 507 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:46,000 Speaker 1: I'm a little bit more, and I'm like, I don't 508 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,760 Speaker 1: want to waste their time or my time because I 509 00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:51,120 Speaker 1: know X, Y and Z doesn't work for me or 510 00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:54,040 Speaker 1: I know this won't work for them in my life, 511 00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:55,760 Speaker 1: you know. And I can just see it a little 512 00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:59,120 Speaker 1: more clearly, which isn't Actually like all the guys that 513 00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:01,760 Speaker 1: I've gone out with, I'm like, they're good dudes, They're cute, 514 00:29:01,800 --> 00:29:03,880 Speaker 1: They're like, like two of them I've actually set up 515 00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:07,720 Speaker 1: with friends of mine. Right, the fucking matchmaker Now, I 516 00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:11,640 Speaker 1: don't even know. It's like now I'm just matchmaking. I 517 00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:16,320 Speaker 1: don't I'm just interviewing people from my friends. Literally, it's 518 00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:20,240 Speaker 1: like so interesting. But um but yeah, but listen, it's 519 00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:22,120 Speaker 1: just like it's not a personal thing. So I think 520 00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:25,840 Speaker 1: if you can take away the personalization of someone's rejection, 521 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:30,000 Speaker 1: it might lessen the blow, you know, if you do 522 00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:33,600 Speaker 1: get rejected. Well and and too, I think it's like 523 00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:37,320 Speaker 1: it makes me think about how many people did I 524 00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:40,440 Speaker 1: assume would not be into me? Right, you don't even 525 00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:43,040 Speaker 1: know I made the decision for them, and then it's 526 00:29:43,120 --> 00:29:47,400 Speaker 1: me that it's hurt by my own decision. Do you 527 00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:49,560 Speaker 1: think someone's out of your leak? And I'm walking down 528 00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:51,200 Speaker 1: the street and I'll see people that I'm like, they 529 00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:54,760 Speaker 1: don't look like a physical match, but someone had the 530 00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:59,760 Speaker 1: balls to try. I actually had this super hot guy 531 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:04,440 Speaker 1: recently tell me that he did not um approached me 532 00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:06,320 Speaker 1: back in the day because he was like, I don't know, 533 00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:09,600 Speaker 1: I was just like so intimidated or something, and I 534 00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:14,640 Speaker 1: was like, what I mean. I was literally was like 535 00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:19,480 Speaker 1: god because now he's not single anyfore, but we were 536 00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:22,320 Speaker 1: having a conversation as like friends, you know, and it 537 00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:24,480 Speaker 1: wasn't at all like that, but that it did made 538 00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:26,640 Speaker 1: me think too of what I give off, like how 539 00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:28,840 Speaker 1: maybe I'm not I don't I don't give off that 540 00:30:28,880 --> 00:30:31,400 Speaker 1: I would be approachable or something. I don't know. And 541 00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:34,040 Speaker 1: it's funny though, because if I do that, it's mostly 542 00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:36,440 Speaker 1: because of what's happening inside of me, Like I'm have 543 00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:39,640 Speaker 1: like you know, I get overwhelmed and put like big 544 00:30:39,680 --> 00:30:42,600 Speaker 1: crowds and stuff because I'm an impath or it's just like, look, 545 00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:44,840 Speaker 1: I get shy and I like kind of shut down, 546 00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:47,360 Speaker 1: and that doesn't fully line up with like who I 547 00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:49,840 Speaker 1: am once you get to know me. It's just like 548 00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:52,959 Speaker 1: at first I get a little stressed out in certain scenarios. 549 00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:55,320 Speaker 1: That has nothing to do with the person though, like 550 00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:58,320 Speaker 1: we're saying, and so it's like I gotta just like 551 00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:05,920 Speaker 1: change my energy so I'm more welcoming out one. I mean, 552 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:10,840 Speaker 1: I definitely I think that I give up unavailable vibes 553 00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:19,480 Speaker 1: it of energy. Yeah, needs work on that. Uncertainty is 554 00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:22,640 Speaker 1: another big one. Something bad happening, Like the fear of 555 00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:25,120 Speaker 1: something bad happening that the waiting for the other shooter 556 00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:27,880 Speaker 1: a job. That's a big one for me in relationships, 557 00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:31,280 Speaker 1: like I don't want to lose them, you know, and 558 00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:34,840 Speaker 1: so then I get scared of something bad happening. And 559 00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:38,840 Speaker 1: I think that one in particular is often informed by 560 00:31:39,200 --> 00:31:44,040 Speaker 1: previous experiences. Yeah, there's traumas that really calls that, you know, 561 00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:50,680 Speaker 1: getting hurt, being judged. That's another one. Um this I 562 00:31:50,800 --> 00:31:52,480 Speaker 1: life that it's said here it said it's normal to 563 00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:54,640 Speaker 1: want to be liked, but the fear of being judged 564 00:31:54,680 --> 00:31:59,120 Speaker 1: can prevent you from being your true self true think 565 00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:03,000 Speaker 1: about that with social media, that's like such to me. 566 00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:06,640 Speaker 1: The prime example, we're also scared of not looking perfect 567 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:09,280 Speaker 1: or like we have all our ship figured out. Yeah. 568 00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:12,480 Speaker 1: And then what's funny too, is like the lesson that 569 00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:15,680 Speaker 1: we never really seem to learn like all the time, 570 00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:24,160 Speaker 1: like I when people are incredibly vulnerable and do sort 571 00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:28,240 Speaker 1: of let that guard down and push away that fear 572 00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:31,960 Speaker 1: of judgment, particularly online, Like I feel like so many 573 00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:34,800 Speaker 1: people are attracted to that because when you see someone 574 00:32:34,920 --> 00:32:39,480 Speaker 1: operating in their authenticity, it's like it's attractive. Yeah, but 575 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:42,640 Speaker 1: so why why doesn't that inspire more of us to 576 00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:46,520 Speaker 1: do that? I don't know. It's just that fear of judgment, 577 00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:49,479 Speaker 1: That's what that is. I feel like I can do 578 00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:52,120 Speaker 1: it some days, and then it's like there's like this 579 00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,840 Speaker 1: thing that clicks and I just want to pull back, 580 00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:58,760 Speaker 1: you know where I think some people really can stand 581 00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:01,240 Speaker 1: there often and I do you know what I think 582 00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:04,280 Speaker 1: the key is? And I'm learning this for myself. It's 583 00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:07,800 Speaker 1: like the more you know yourself, the easier that gets. 584 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,400 Speaker 1: Because the less if you know yourself and you love 585 00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:14,400 Speaker 1: yourself anyway for whatever it is, like if you're connected 586 00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:18,040 Speaker 1: to yourself or you're um, you're just like this is 587 00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:21,000 Speaker 1: who I am. Those are the people that can operate 588 00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:23,680 Speaker 1: from that authenticity and they can just put it out 589 00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:27,640 Speaker 1: there because they're like they've accepted who they are, and 590 00:33:27,680 --> 00:33:30,040 Speaker 1: I think some of us are who are still navigating 591 00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:33,280 Speaker 1: maybe getting to know themselves or it's changing, you know, 592 00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:35,920 Speaker 1: like I've just been on a huge evolution journey and 593 00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:38,880 Speaker 1: just changing and growing and it's a good thing. But 594 00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:41,280 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh god, I don't know how I feel 595 00:33:41,320 --> 00:33:43,040 Speaker 1: about that, or you know, like there's these things that 596 00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:45,200 Speaker 1: I haven't quite figured out about myself yet. And so 597 00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:49,440 Speaker 1: that journey makes it scary because you're some days up, 598 00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:52,520 Speaker 1: some days down, some days mad, some days sad, some 599 00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:54,720 Speaker 1: days happy, you know, whatever it is, and so you 600 00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:59,400 Speaker 1: don't it looks schizophrenic as you're you're allowed to change, 601 00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:05,320 Speaker 1: you know, No, But that's the same thing. It's like I, 602 00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:07,440 Speaker 1: you know, being a people pleaser, Like I feel like 603 00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:10,000 Speaker 1: I always have to be happy, and it's like because 604 00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:12,080 Speaker 1: I also don't want people to be like what's wrong? 605 00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:14,560 Speaker 1: I know, I'm like, can I just talking be in 606 00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:19,560 Speaker 1: a bad mood or be sad and not right? I 607 00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:25,440 Speaker 1: don't want to talk about it, leave me alone, right right? Um. Inadequacy, 608 00:34:25,480 --> 00:34:28,040 Speaker 1: that's a big one loss of freedom. I like the 609 00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:30,279 Speaker 1: example they gave here because I think a lot of 610 00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,680 Speaker 1: times we equate that to relationship. But they talked about 611 00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:37,080 Speaker 1: a job, and like, maybe you would instead of going 612 00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:39,319 Speaker 1: to work for an employer, you pick a job where 613 00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:43,000 Speaker 1: you work for yourself. I like totally think i'd do this. Um, 614 00:34:43,040 --> 00:34:45,360 Speaker 1: but because instead of going to work for an employer 615 00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:48,480 Speaker 1: where you'd have like the structure, you're like, no, I 616 00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:50,280 Speaker 1: need my freedom. I need to make my own schedule 617 00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:53,080 Speaker 1: all the stuff. And then you like kind of put 618 00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:56,399 Speaker 1: yourself into this bind in other ways, whether it's financially 619 00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:59,440 Speaker 1: or like the hustle to have to get jobs, Like 620 00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:02,160 Speaker 1: there's all the these other stresses that come that maybe 621 00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:07,560 Speaker 1: actually aren't getting freedom that like it's just an interesting dynamic. 622 00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:13,440 Speaker 1: Well you know, I, Um, when I moved to Los Angeles, 623 00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:16,319 Speaker 1: I had a dog, and when it came time for 624 00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:19,000 Speaker 1: me to find a job, I said to myself, I 625 00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,240 Speaker 1: won't work anywhere that I can't take my dog to work. 626 00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:23,560 Speaker 1: Like I put that boundary on myself. And I found 627 00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:24,920 Speaker 1: a job where I could take my dog and it 628 00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:28,600 Speaker 1: was amazing, Like, um, but ever since, I will not 629 00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:30,120 Speaker 1: take a job and once I can take my dog's 630 00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:32,520 Speaker 1: to work and I don't have to take them every day. 631 00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:34,680 Speaker 1: But I want the opportunity to be able to bring 632 00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:37,719 Speaker 1: them and um, and you know, look, there haven't been 633 00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:39,640 Speaker 1: a ton of There hasn't been a ton of instances 634 00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:42,200 Speaker 1: where I'm like, fuck, I need a new job. Um, 635 00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:44,560 Speaker 1: so I haven't been pushed to that point of like 636 00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:48,160 Speaker 1: turning things down that I wonder what have I been 637 00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:50,120 Speaker 1: the same because I'm not even going to consider it 638 00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:51,560 Speaker 1: because I want to be able to bring my dog's 639 00:35:51,600 --> 00:35:55,200 Speaker 1: to work. Yeah, and that is that would be loss 640 00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:58,440 Speaker 1: of freedom, which, by the way, like my dogs just 641 00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:04,160 Speaker 1: sleep all day whether they're at my else. Right, It's like, yeah, 642 00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:06,960 Speaker 1: I mean it's truly like their emotional support dogs for me. 643 00:36:07,120 --> 00:36:09,959 Speaker 1: Like it's not a clinical thing. But yeah, that must 644 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:14,960 Speaker 1: be what it is. Maybe you know it's really interesting. Yeah, 645 00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,640 Speaker 1: well I loved all those ten reasons. That article was amazing. 646 00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:19,239 Speaker 1: It was on dot com if you guys want to 647 00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:26,359 Speaker 1: check it out. Um, I all right, what candle, I mean, 648 00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:29,840 Speaker 1: we're almost done, and we made it so far through 649 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:33,360 Speaker 1: without some sort of distraction. I've been stepping this candle 650 00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:37,680 Speaker 1: the whole time. You just noticed it. Finally, Oh I'm 651 00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:41,600 Speaker 1: actually trying to at it. No, I'm actually more distracted 652 00:36:41,600 --> 00:36:47,400 Speaker 1: by the vaginas on your shirt. I can't stop thinking 653 00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:49,600 Speaker 1: about Is that what they are? The fact that you 654 00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:52,440 Speaker 1: just said I can't stop thinking about a vagina. I 655 00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:57,680 Speaker 1: thought that you're wearing six little cartoon vaginas on your shirt. Yes, 656 00:36:57,760 --> 00:37:00,400 Speaker 1: that is what this is. And the backs us Oh 657 00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:04,600 Speaker 1: but the pussy is brave. Um, it's been toasted on 658 00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:11,759 Speaker 1: my Instagram and it's like controversial. I can't want them all, 659 00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:15,359 Speaker 1: you know, I can't be toasted about vagina is though, guys, Yeah, 660 00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:21,000 Speaker 1: no fear here that vagina. Okay, let's let's pick one 661 00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:24,200 Speaker 1: thing we are going to focus on in our lives 662 00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:26,920 Speaker 1: this month, and listeners, maybe you guys can pick this 663 00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,759 Speaker 1: one thing and do this with us. Um, I'm gonna 664 00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:32,240 Speaker 1: pick one thing that I'm going to face my fear 665 00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:34,560 Speaker 1: with and I want you to do the same. Chip, 666 00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:36,440 Speaker 1: I just scrung this on. You said, do you have 667 00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:38,520 Speaker 1: one yet? Or you want me to go first? I 668 00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:40,400 Speaker 1: want to I want you to go first, because I 669 00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:42,360 Speaker 1: thought you were just gonna ask me what what my 670 00:37:42,440 --> 00:37:45,440 Speaker 1: greatest fear was this month. That's a little different, so 671 00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:47,279 Speaker 1: I kind of want to wrap my head around this. 672 00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:50,040 Speaker 1: I already know what I want yours to be, so 673 00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:54,960 Speaker 1: it's not my life, so let go Oh my god, Okay, 674 00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:58,640 Speaker 1: So I um, I did a podcast actually came out 675 00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:03,200 Speaker 1: on Wednesday of this week with a girl Hannah, who 676 00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:05,919 Speaker 1: was amazing Hannah kaneg I think is how you say 677 00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:11,360 Speaker 1: her last name. But she focuses on wealth management, money matters, 678 00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:14,839 Speaker 1: she works for Forbes, all of the things. And I 679 00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:17,320 Speaker 1: get really stressed out. Like my family was a family 680 00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:19,560 Speaker 1: we didn't talk about money, and so I just get 681 00:38:19,600 --> 00:38:21,920 Speaker 1: stressed out about the topic of money. And so I 682 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:24,480 Speaker 1: think I have all these like mentalities that are there 683 00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:27,399 Speaker 1: for like no reason, you know, like it's not I 684 00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:30,080 Speaker 1: had just to have this like programming around it where 685 00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:32,520 Speaker 1: I just want to shut down when it comes to money. 686 00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:36,919 Speaker 1: So I'm gonna do her workshop that is actually for free, 687 00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:40,000 Speaker 1: and you guys can go listen to that podcast um 688 00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:41,520 Speaker 1: that ran earlier this week if you want to know 689 00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:43,880 Speaker 1: the information on it. But I'm gonna do it, and 690 00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:48,120 Speaker 1: I'm gonna just like really kind of make sure I'm 691 00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:50,719 Speaker 1: like doing the right making the right financial choices and 692 00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:53,319 Speaker 1: see if there's places I can eliminate spending that you know, 693 00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:55,359 Speaker 1: we talked to she and I talked about like how 694 00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:58,040 Speaker 1: we just waste our money like we work really hard 695 00:38:58,120 --> 00:39:00,200 Speaker 1: for it. And my mentality most of the time is like, 696 00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:02,680 Speaker 1: oh then I'll just go make more And so I'm 697 00:39:02,719 --> 00:39:05,880 Speaker 1: just hustling to go make more money, versus like looking 698 00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:10,000 Speaker 1: at ways that maybe I'm spending money, uh frivolously. You know, 699 00:39:10,239 --> 00:39:12,200 Speaker 1: I've noticed that during COVID, I was like, oh my god, 700 00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:15,960 Speaker 1: the amount of money has been on Postmates is insane. 701 00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:19,360 Speaker 1: So just like stuff like that, and then making sure 702 00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:22,880 Speaker 1: if I could be investing things in certain places, or 703 00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:26,480 Speaker 1: just like, you know, really getting that being an adult 704 00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:29,600 Speaker 1: about money and and talking about it and talking about 705 00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:32,880 Speaker 1: any fears that have around it and just looking at it. 706 00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:34,880 Speaker 1: And I'm gonna do that. So it's gonna be my 707 00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:39,759 Speaker 1: thing this month. Focusing the yes. Um well, I mean 708 00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:44,080 Speaker 1: my my thing was, um, I don't even know if 709 00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:47,759 Speaker 1: this is doing the exercise right, because I thought it 710 00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:49,640 Speaker 1: was going to be like which of these exercise I 711 00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:53,399 Speaker 1: just made up? Well, I thought it was like, which 712 00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:57,600 Speaker 1: of these ten are you going to work on? What 713 00:39:57,760 --> 00:40:00,880 Speaker 1: could be that? I was just thinking the two examples 714 00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,600 Speaker 1: you gave up things you're scared of that would be 715 00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:05,919 Speaker 1: really easy things for you to actually face this month, 716 00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:09,080 Speaker 1: but maybe you're like trying not to face themthing you know, well, no, 717 00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:12,319 Speaker 1: I mean, look, I have ah. This is a kind 718 00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:18,839 Speaker 1: of like insanely busy launch month for me, Launch month, 719 00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:22,359 Speaker 1: launch month at work for me, and there's a lot 720 00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:24,439 Speaker 1: of new things that I'm doing for the first time. 721 00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:28,400 Speaker 1: So the fear of failure keeps, you know, trying to 722 00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:31,560 Speaker 1: creep into my mind, like you're gonna sunk this up, 723 00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:33,879 Speaker 1: like you're not gonna do this right, You're not good 724 00:40:33,920 --> 00:40:37,279 Speaker 1: at this, and um, I am trying to make a 725 00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:43,560 Speaker 1: concerted effort to um approach this with excitement about how 726 00:40:43,640 --> 00:40:46,640 Speaker 1: much I'm gonna learn because I know, like I know 727 00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:49,759 Speaker 1: in my gut I fucking got this and I'm gonna 728 00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:53,400 Speaker 1: do it well and I'm gonna crush it. Um. And 729 00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:56,560 Speaker 1: you know, even what I questioned myself, it shouldn't be 730 00:40:56,680 --> 00:40:58,759 Speaker 1: out of fear. It should be about like how do 731 00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,920 Speaker 1: I do things better? How do I improve? How do 732 00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:05,399 Speaker 1: I grow? What do I take away like? And if 733 00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:07,680 Speaker 1: I do fail at some of the things, embrace it 734 00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:12,040 Speaker 1: and know that it's just an opportunity to learn because 735 00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:14,319 Speaker 1: I gotta get it done. So it's like there's no 736 00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:18,760 Speaker 1: need in me sayings like using failure as like something 737 00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:21,000 Speaker 1: around my feet to not just move forward to get 738 00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:25,239 Speaker 1: it done. That that might be a really lame example 739 00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:29,040 Speaker 1: because it's related. Who wanted you to like make a 740 00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:32,719 Speaker 1: conscious effort to like ten minutes every morning to be 741 00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:38,160 Speaker 1: on dating apps. I'm always doing that. Oh you just 742 00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:41,480 Speaker 1: don't tell me about I'm always up on app the 743 00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:46,200 Speaker 1: app or over there. Ye. I mean, but I think 744 00:41:46,239 --> 00:41:49,279 Speaker 1: I'm just exhausted by because I've literally been like I've 745 00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:51,000 Speaker 1: seen the end of the Internet when it comes to 746 00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:54,920 Speaker 1: the dating apps. Really, yeah, it's just like a bumble 747 00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:59,359 Speaker 1: what I was. I didn't really love it. Well that reason. 748 00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:01,520 Speaker 1: I'm asking because we're traveling to Boston at the end 749 00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:02,799 Speaker 1: of the month, and I was like, you should turn 750 00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:05,160 Speaker 1: it on travel mode and put it on Boston. Now, 751 00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:07,520 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, maybe I could do that. I think I 752 00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:11,640 Speaker 1: could look ahead on Tinder to actually quite like I 753 00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:15,960 Speaker 1: didn't the best. Yeah, I feel like it's got the best. Um, 754 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:17,759 Speaker 1: you know, I don't all. I literally to them all, 755 00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:21,719 Speaker 1: there's okay, I want three. It's like they each have 756 00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:24,480 Speaker 1: their own benefits and say, I'm like, I don't know, 757 00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:26,399 Speaker 1: I'll go through a phase where I'm just on one 758 00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:28,680 Speaker 1: for a minute, and then I'm like, I'll check out 759 00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:32,080 Speaker 1: Hinge today and I'm like, no, I'm going back to Rya, 760 00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:36,960 Speaker 1: or then I'm no, I'm in a bumble mood. Yeah, 761 00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:39,719 Speaker 1: I'm just saying, you're just like I'm just learning which 762 00:42:39,719 --> 00:42:42,239 Speaker 1: ones I like and don't like to I won't do 763 00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:48,160 Speaker 1: them all forever, but okay, so we're to. I mean, really, 764 00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:50,920 Speaker 1: my goal should be to like try and just meet 765 00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:53,160 Speaker 1: someone in a wild like that's what I should My 766 00:42:53,239 --> 00:42:57,759 Speaker 1: goal really should be like go go out go something. Yeah, 767 00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:00,920 Speaker 1: go to a bar with their gay people. Right, we 768 00:43:01,000 --> 00:43:05,000 Speaker 1: did that. Once we got it, we got to go 769 00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:12,160 Speaker 1: more than one every um. I feel like another thing 770 00:43:12,239 --> 00:43:15,360 Speaker 1: you could make your goal is when you're the voices 771 00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:18,080 Speaker 1: start to kick in and you're like doubting yourself. You 772 00:43:18,080 --> 00:43:20,480 Speaker 1: can like my dad taught me this, but you say, oh, 773 00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:22,920 Speaker 1: thank you for sharing, and then you change the narrative. 774 00:43:23,360 --> 00:43:25,799 Speaker 1: You know, it's like thank you, thank you, fear I 775 00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:27,879 Speaker 1: see you, I recognize you, because a lot of times 776 00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:30,799 Speaker 1: it won't stop until we acknowledge it. But just to 777 00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:34,560 Speaker 1: maybe acknowledge it and then move on so you can 778 00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:36,359 Speaker 1: report back in on that at the end of the month, 779 00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:40,120 Speaker 1: how you did that if it too. It's so funny 780 00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:43,319 Speaker 1: because I like my inner dialogue, Like I've never really 781 00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:46,000 Speaker 1: engaged it, you know, I don't like that way, you know, 782 00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:50,680 Speaker 1: like that's part of you. That yeah, someone else taught 783 00:43:50,680 --> 00:43:52,440 Speaker 1: me that. It was someone on this podcast. But like, 784 00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:55,040 Speaker 1: your inner dialogue is a part of you, So just 785 00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:58,399 Speaker 1: talk to it, like own it, make it, like make 786 00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:01,840 Speaker 1: it known as part of your person ality. Mine is 787 00:44:01,920 --> 00:44:03,800 Speaker 1: so mean to me, and I'm like, well, no, wonder 788 00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:06,719 Speaker 1: I keep dating assholes who talked to me bad. It's 789 00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:13,040 Speaker 1: like that's how I talked to myself. So of course, anyway, 790 00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:18,239 Speaker 1: I'll probably edit that out. I know. I think it's 791 00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:20,600 Speaker 1: important for people to know that, like you beat yourself 792 00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:27,440 Speaker 1: up to I do mad. Yeah, okay, well I think 793 00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:31,560 Speaker 1: we have our fear not human listeners. You are loved. 794 00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:35,280 Speaker 1: This is true. I love that. And we have a lot, 795 00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:38,640 Speaker 1: a lot of interesting topics for you guys this month. 796 00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:42,680 Speaker 1: I actually am super excited about this topic, the guests 797 00:44:42,719 --> 00:44:44,440 Speaker 1: that we have coming on, and I think it's going 798 00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:46,440 Speaker 1: to be helpful, I know for me of just like 799 00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:50,520 Speaker 1: opening up and maybe facing some of my own fears. 800 00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:55,000 Speaker 1: So yeah, everybody, your homework is to sit at home 801 00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:58,200 Speaker 1: tonight on a piece of paper, right down what fear 802 00:44:58,239 --> 00:45:00,360 Speaker 1: you're facing, and report back into to us at the 803 00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:02,239 Speaker 1: end of the month when we do listener emails and 804 00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:07,680 Speaker 1: chiven I I'll tell you guys, all right, like it too, homework. 805 00:45:07,719 --> 00:45:12,200 Speaker 1: I'm gonna write that down. Did you write it? Yeah? 806 00:45:12,200 --> 00:45:15,759 Speaker 1: I just scribbled. For the sound of fact. I'm good 807 00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:18,800 Speaker 1: in hear it. All right, you guys can always find 808 00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:23,400 Speaker 1: me at Velvet's Edge on Instagram, chip at Chip DOORSH 809 00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:27,400 Speaker 1: P D O R S. H. Neck didn't move as 810 00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:33,080 Speaker 1: much on that one there. It was okay, okay, okay, okay, 811 00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:34,680 Speaker 1: all right. Well, as you guys are going into your 812 00:45:34,680 --> 00:45:37,480 Speaker 1: weekends and you're living on the edge, I feel like 813 00:45:37,480 --> 00:45:39,400 Speaker 1: I need another line in there, because it's just like 814 00:45:39,880 --> 00:45:41,600 Speaker 1: the plate is about the take off, the way that 815 00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:46,719 Speaker 1: the tone that you're talking. Oh, it's like my and 816 00:45:46,800 --> 00:45:52,320 Speaker 1: the pilot like that flight, isn't it? Okay, ladies and gentlemen, 817 00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:57,240 Speaker 1: Mr Captain speaking. And as you go into your weekends 818 00:45:57,400 --> 00:45:59,480 Speaker 1: and you're living on the edge, I hope you always 819 00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:02,560 Speaker 1: remember too. You childre are