1 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:14,080 Speaker 1: I got a couple of bumps in the road with 2 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:17,600 Speaker 1: the core lately. Ironically it's that I'm charging too little. 3 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,759 Speaker 1: And this is going to sound crazy. So the matchmakers 4 00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:24,360 Speaker 1: charge like fifty to like two hundred and fifty thousand dollars, 5 00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:26,119 Speaker 1: and then you try to lock them and they'll guarantee 6 00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:29,000 Speaker 1: you six to eight matches, and then they're scrambling just 7 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:30,920 Speaker 1: to check the box, which is how women get paid, 8 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:32,919 Speaker 1: which is how the same men are like sent out 9 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:36,760 Speaker 1: in circles like horses in the barn. And the thing 10 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:39,360 Speaker 1: is you'll find that if you're doing a design job, 11 00:00:39,560 --> 00:00:42,960 Speaker 1: or you're a travel agent or whatever your chef, it 12 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,800 Speaker 1: doesn't matter if people pay less or more. And the 13 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:48,000 Speaker 1: ones who get a better deal and pay less are 14 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:51,000 Speaker 1: often more of a nightmare and expect more. So there 15 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:53,920 Speaker 1: are people that have paid between literally twenty five hundred 16 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:56,880 Speaker 1: and now it's up to ten thousand dollars, who have 17 00:00:57,080 --> 00:01:01,000 Speaker 1: had like four dates, and I mean with major successful people, 18 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:04,000 Speaker 1: so like a matchmaker would have charged twenty five thousand 19 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:07,040 Speaker 1: to one hundred twenty five thousand for what we've given them. 20 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:10,600 Speaker 1: But the model isn't really just about money, and it's 21 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 1: not just about guaranteeing connections at all. It's a whole 22 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:16,080 Speaker 1: thing that I'm not going to get into great detail 23 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:21,640 Speaker 1: about now. But what's happening is because there's a quality, 24 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:25,839 Speaker 1: and the person has to be a good person, meaning 25 00:01:25,959 --> 00:01:28,640 Speaker 1: someone could be a teacher, a hairdresser. Being a good 26 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:31,240 Speaker 1: person is most important. There are a lot of people 27 00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:34,280 Speaker 1: that are very successful and highly educated, and they might 28 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:37,040 Speaker 1: want someone who's more of an intellectual aligned with them. 29 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:39,640 Speaker 1: There are people that are hot, there are people that 30 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:42,520 Speaker 1: are rich. So many women want someone wealthy, so many 31 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,200 Speaker 1: men want someone hot. But we had an event and 32 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:48,160 Speaker 1: I would not have any of sort of the quote 33 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:52,280 Speaker 1: unquote hot women that never wanted to pay and just 34 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:55,240 Speaker 1: said we never pay and have their handout because they're 35 00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,080 Speaker 1: used to going out with guys to buy them handbags 36 00:01:57,120 --> 00:01:58,960 Speaker 1: and they're not going to marry them and they're sort 37 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,200 Speaker 1: of like users or gold diggers. So we're not going 38 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,400 Speaker 1: to have any of them. So we had had a 39 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:06,760 Speaker 1: storm and ten people had to cancel, and like I've 40 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,880 Speaker 1: said before, we have thousands and thousands of person waitless. 41 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,240 Speaker 1: But I wasn't going to just invite people because they 42 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:15,919 Speaker 1: like look hot in a room, you know, even though 43 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:18,080 Speaker 1: we had many beautiful people in the room. It's just 44 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:20,240 Speaker 1: you have to be more discerning when you're trying to 45 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:23,800 Speaker 1: really line up good people, and a lot of guys 46 00:02:23,919 --> 00:02:26,720 Speaker 1: really just only want the hot girl. Then they want 47 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:28,800 Speaker 1: to complain that the girl's a gold digger or was 48 00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:29,960 Speaker 1: using them for their money. 49 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:31,320 Speaker 2: So you're trying to. 50 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:34,200 Speaker 1: Really keep it tight, you know, because you want everyone 51 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,240 Speaker 1: to feel like open and like they're talking to someone 52 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:39,800 Speaker 1: that's a good person. So there's one guy who's older 53 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,799 Speaker 1: and looks older, and he just strongly believes that he 54 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:46,120 Speaker 1: should be with someone young who looks a certain way. 55 00:02:46,720 --> 00:02:48,800 Speaker 1: So we've had to say to certain people, like we're 56 00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:50,720 Speaker 1: going to let you go and give you your money back, 57 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:53,840 Speaker 1: even though you're a catch and you're good looking, because 58 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,120 Speaker 1: we don't want to be responsible for this type of 59 00:02:56,120 --> 00:02:59,080 Speaker 1: person that we're going to bring in here to connect 60 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:01,520 Speaker 1: with you, because we don't think that that's the right alignment. 61 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:04,000 Speaker 1: Like it's in other words, someone might like sugar, but 62 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:06,000 Speaker 1: they're diabetic, they're not supposed to have it. Like if 63 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,560 Speaker 1: a person comes in and wants someone good, and someone 64 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:10,880 Speaker 1: shouldn't be in here if they just want to like fuck, 65 00:03:10,919 --> 00:03:12,840 Speaker 1: you're allowed to go out and want to fuck. But anyway, 66 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:14,440 Speaker 1: when we have events, which I don't think I'll do 67 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 1: that many more of, there's such high pressure and they're 68 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:20,240 Speaker 1: also not a reflection of everyone in the community, Like 69 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,120 Speaker 1: people come and I don't want people to expect that, 70 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:25,640 Speaker 1: like at this event, even though people did connect and 71 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:28,240 Speaker 1: go out after and like each other. I don't want 72 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:30,080 Speaker 1: there to be the expectation that this is like speed 73 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:32,200 Speaker 1: dating and every you have two hours to meet the 74 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:32,880 Speaker 1: love of your life. 75 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:34,440 Speaker 2: It kind of just reflects. 76 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:39,720 Speaker 1: Overall who's in this community, in this area, like Palm 77 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:40,560 Speaker 1: Beach or Miami. 78 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:41,840 Speaker 2: So I'm learning a lot. 79 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:44,080 Speaker 1: I don't even know how far I'm going to take this, 80 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:47,160 Speaker 1: but I love it. So I just keep going, Meaning 81 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:49,920 Speaker 1: Kristin cavalarid be great in here, she'd be great in here. 82 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,320 Speaker 1: But it takes a lot of time because you don't 83 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:54,040 Speaker 1: want to throw spaghetti against the wall and you want 84 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:56,560 Speaker 1: to connect people in a meaningful way. And it's working. 85 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:59,320 Speaker 1: Like I said, we have life partners. That's what keeps 86 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:02,160 Speaker 1: me going. But I keep thinking, like how much time 87 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,880 Speaker 1: and energy am I going to focus on this while 88 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:06,200 Speaker 1: I have this other career. So part of me thinks 89 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,960 Speaker 1: like I would like to have ten committed life couples 90 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:12,440 Speaker 1: and then evaluate, you know, I'm meeting a grape and 91 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:17,440 Speaker 1: then maybe just fund a certain group that we keep 92 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:20,120 Speaker 1: in here. The girls and guys that I've working for 93 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:23,000 Speaker 1: me keep their jobs, but keep it super boutique. 94 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:24,720 Speaker 2: I don't know. I love it. 95 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:29,560 Speaker 1: It's better every day. It's certainly not easy. People have 96 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:33,440 Speaker 1: unrealistic expectations. You would be shocked they should. One man 97 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:39,359 Speaker 1: said he's a sexual dynamo, like the iron Man, athlete 98 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:44,680 Speaker 1: of sex, with expectations of how much sex they want. 99 00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:47,159 Speaker 1: And I thought it was fascinating, and I thought it 100 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,120 Speaker 1: was honest, and I thought, okay, I would never be 101 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,719 Speaker 1: able to go out with someone who has that strong 102 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:54,279 Speaker 1: of a sexual appetite. That's good for people to be 103 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:58,599 Speaker 1: aligned and transparent, you know. And then also and I 104 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:01,360 Speaker 1: suggested this actress, very famous actress to him. 105 00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:02,400 Speaker 2: He didn't even bite. 106 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:05,800 Speaker 1: I was also surprised by people, not even people really 107 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 1: who want to find their person. They're not really interested 108 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:12,040 Speaker 1: in fame, they're not necessarily only interested in money. Like 109 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:15,040 Speaker 1: everything really has to line up. And I find that 110 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,480 Speaker 1: to be hopeful when you think that. If I said 111 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:21,520 Speaker 1: to any man, okay, sexual man, well, I have the hottest, 112 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:25,320 Speaker 1: most beautiful actress in the world, and that that person 113 00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 1: didn't even bite, And I was thinking, you're fucking great. 114 00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:32,120 Speaker 1: Like interesting. I just love people being honest, Like, be honest. 115 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:34,680 Speaker 1: If you want money, you want money. If you want blowjobs, 116 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:36,640 Speaker 1: you want blow jobs. If you want hot big tits, 117 00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:38,720 Speaker 1: you want hot big tits. You have to be honest. 118 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:40,960 Speaker 1: If someone can't help you in the store, then they 119 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,839 Speaker 1: can't help you. So a person who just wants like 120 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:47,159 Speaker 1: superficial big tits and also doesn't want to pay for 121 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,680 Speaker 1: the woman with the big tits was something we could do. 122 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:51,960 Speaker 1: We're not letting the entitled woman come in for a 123 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,720 Speaker 1: free ride. You didn't pay that much. I don't know 124 00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,800 Speaker 1: if we can help you. I think it's good. And 125 00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:59,720 Speaker 1: it's not about my dating community. It's about you being 126 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:04,400 Speaker 1: hones in your life and surrounding yourself with people that 127 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:07,120 Speaker 1: are what you're looking for. Like the one thing I'll 128 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:09,120 Speaker 1: say is that it's nice when we do an event 129 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:11,039 Speaker 1: or we have a community, we know that everybody in 130 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:12,360 Speaker 1: here wants to meet a life partner. 131 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:12,960 Speaker 2: That's what they want. 132 00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:16,039 Speaker 1: They're all going to try to make an effort to 133 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:21,239 Speaker 1: find a life partner. Here's another thing be direct about misalignment. 134 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:26,320 Speaker 1: There's a man that I had dated and we reconnected 135 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:27,960 Speaker 1: and there was an idea about it. There was a 136 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,960 Speaker 1: way that I handled myself that I always regretted. But 137 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,440 Speaker 1: there was a reason why I wasn't that into this 138 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:35,240 Speaker 1: person back then and why I handle myself that way. Okay, 139 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:37,560 Speaker 1: Yet you could be into someone years later. 140 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 2: Okay. 141 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 1: It can go both ways. It could be exactly the same, 142 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:42,240 Speaker 1: it can be different. Usually when you get back with someone, 143 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:46,960 Speaker 1: it's not that different. So anyway, this person and I, 144 00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:49,440 Speaker 1: it was an ideal. It was like the idea of something. 145 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:51,400 Speaker 1: And also when we first met. You know, when you 146 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,839 Speaker 1: first meet someone, it's like sexy. It could be on vacation, 147 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:55,400 Speaker 1: it could be let's say it was doing a show 148 00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:58,159 Speaker 1: or doing a play, or you were having an affair. 149 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,360 Speaker 1: I'm not saying this is an affair by any means saying. 150 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:02,599 Speaker 1: Whatever the circumstances are, it was fueled by alcohol, it 151 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:05,839 Speaker 1: was few by passion, fear, your kids knew each other. 152 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:08,359 Speaker 1: I don't know, it doesn't matter whatever the situation. The 153 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:10,200 Speaker 1: romance of you met each other on a train and 154 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:13,400 Speaker 1: a nightclub in Turks and caicos. It doesn't matter. But 155 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:15,880 Speaker 1: like sometimes it's on fumes, it's not based in reality. 156 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,320 Speaker 1: So you come back and you try to date that person. 157 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,880 Speaker 1: It just doesn't seem the same, but you're trying to, 158 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:23,120 Speaker 1: like chase the dragon. It could also happen when you 159 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:25,320 Speaker 1: get back together with an X that you were in 160 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:27,840 Speaker 1: love with and the idea you missed the idea you're insecure, 161 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:30,000 Speaker 1: you miss the security blanket. You try to get back, 162 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,520 Speaker 1: you can't get it back. Then you're weird. I think 163 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:36,240 Speaker 1: it's important to be honest about misalignment. At the exact 164 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:40,280 Speaker 1: same time, the day after spending time with someone, I've 165 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:42,480 Speaker 1: had a conversation with them where they've been like can 166 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:45,720 Speaker 1: we talk, They're like, I'm not sure, and I literally said, 167 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:47,960 Speaker 1: I said, I just texted my friend the same thing. 168 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,840 Speaker 1: It's okay. We're not sure because it's not a fit, 169 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:55,080 Speaker 1: and that's okay. It has nothing to do with looks, money, boobs, height, age, religion. 170 00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:59,280 Speaker 1: We're not a fit, we're not vibing. So let's find 171 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:01,720 Speaker 1: you what you want. But you're welcome to be in 172 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:03,480 Speaker 1: the core. I would love to introduce you to someone 173 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:06,200 Speaker 1: or vice versa. So like it's Okay, it's okay to 174 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:24,720 Speaker 1: be misaligned. Another thing, people go crazy or sane when 175 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:27,680 Speaker 1: they get divorced or become single. Okay, what do I mean. 176 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:31,600 Speaker 1: Some people become very sane. They were not in the 177 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:35,880 Speaker 1: right relationship. They feel free, they're calm, they trust the process. 178 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:37,840 Speaker 1: They will meet someone, they won't meet someone. They want 179 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:39,199 Speaker 1: to figure out what they want. They want to eat, 180 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,240 Speaker 1: play love, they want to cut their hair, diep bland, 181 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:44,559 Speaker 1: go take up yoga, have the mid life crisis, get 182 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,960 Speaker 1: in shape by a sports car. Whatever the thing is. 183 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:50,120 Speaker 1: Some people go sane. They just are calm. They're out, 184 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,240 Speaker 1: they're being thoughtful, they're in therapy, they're taking it easy. 185 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:56,160 Speaker 2: They're not ready yet. This is the sane model. Okay. 186 00:08:56,320 --> 00:09:04,120 Speaker 1: Some people go sane. Other people go insane. They are manic. 187 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:07,439 Speaker 1: They don't know what they want. They are critical, they're paranoid. 188 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:11,960 Speaker 1: They don't understand how to date. They criticize everyone who 189 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:14,720 Speaker 1: doesn't like them. They think they want a date. Then 190 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:16,920 Speaker 1: they are just Then they can't handle it. They dump 191 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:18,960 Speaker 1: their whole story out on somebody else. The minute they 192 00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,280 Speaker 1: get together with them. They start talking about their exes, 193 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:25,160 Speaker 1: their break up, the money, the divorce, the situation, their kids. 194 00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:29,440 Speaker 1: They're a fucking disaster. They over emote, they NonStop talk 195 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:32,040 Speaker 1: about it. They like think they're ready, but they're really not. 196 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,440 Speaker 1: They involve other people in their fucking shrapnel, which is 197 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:38,760 Speaker 1: why people should really not be dating until like a 198 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:42,240 Speaker 1: year after the divorce or separation. And it's all that 199 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:45,160 Speaker 1: they want to do because they want to feel safe, 200 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 1: like it's going to be okay. They're a certain age. 201 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:48,880 Speaker 1: Is someone gonna love me? Do I still have game? 202 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:54,000 Speaker 1: Does Celligator groove back? Like? They're fucking insane, And it's 203 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,240 Speaker 1: really bad because the people that are insane are the 204 00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:59,600 Speaker 1: ones that want to be in the game the most. 205 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:03,960 Speaker 1: They're shrapnel, they are radioactive, they are toxic. I'm thinking 206 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:07,400 Speaker 1: about one person that decided to date and like couldn't 207 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,600 Speaker 1: handle it and was just being critical of everything and 208 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:13,120 Speaker 1: everyone and the process, and it was like, dude, it 209 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:16,360 Speaker 1: is not them, it's you. And it's hard to tell 210 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:18,440 Speaker 1: that person that because they're fucking unhinged and they can't 211 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:21,320 Speaker 1: even hear it. So you have to figure out whether 212 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:25,400 Speaker 1: you are sane or insane after breaking up with someone 213 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:28,240 Speaker 1: or getting a divorce, and you have to control yourself. 214 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:31,400 Speaker 1: You have to contain yourself. You are radioactive. You have 215 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:33,920 Speaker 1: to get through until you're in a calm place, because 216 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:36,840 Speaker 1: you will never be able to have a successful relationship 217 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,280 Speaker 1: if you're a fucking mess. And that also includes if 218 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 1: you're going through things like I've been going through something 219 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:47,760 Speaker 1: personally and I believe it is affecting my ability to date. 220 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:50,360 Speaker 1: So I have maybe like talked to someone but then 221 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:53,360 Speaker 1: backed out, and maybe I seem like a person who's 222 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,880 Speaker 1: bread crumbing or ghosting and the person that you're dealing 223 00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:58,520 Speaker 1: with never knows what you're actually going through. And what 224 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:02,080 Speaker 1: I'm going through is so serious and intense that it's 225 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,880 Speaker 1: two things at the same time. I want relief and 226 00:11:04,920 --> 00:11:06,360 Speaker 1: I want a date, and I want to go out 227 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:09,240 Speaker 1: with someone, so I would be totally transparent. But I 228 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:12,480 Speaker 1: also and not necessarily emotionally equipped, because I have to 229 00:11:12,559 --> 00:11:15,720 Speaker 1: drop things for something right away, And so you want 230 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 1: to be emotionally nurtured and you want a support system, 231 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:21,920 Speaker 1: but you really can't get someone involved in your shrapnel 232 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:26,400 Speaker 1: and in the carnage and casualties of what's going on 233 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:28,800 Speaker 1: with you. So I am a little bit in that, 234 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:32,000 Speaker 1: and I will have to explain to anybody that I 235 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:34,880 Speaker 1: am ghosting or bread crumbing, that I am going through 236 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:36,559 Speaker 1: something that I don't know them well and that it's 237 00:11:36,559 --> 00:11:39,760 Speaker 1: impossible to share. But then maybe I should be on 238 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:45,760 Speaker 1: the bench. Impossibly choosy daters are past the point of 239 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:50,000 Speaker 1: being selective and being picky. They are self sabotaging. They 240 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,480 Speaker 1: don't really want it. They say no to everything, They 241 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:56,120 Speaker 1: find fault in everything because they are either a not 242 00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:59,920 Speaker 1: ready be not over their X see, they're dealing with 243 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:03,200 Speaker 1: something else that they're not sharing, and they are trying 244 00:12:03,280 --> 00:12:08,040 Speaker 1: to create distance between themselves and whatever. This is self sabotage. 245 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:11,000 Speaker 1: They really they think they want it. They see the island, 246 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,760 Speaker 1: but they have no idea how to get there. That 247 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:17,320 Speaker 1: is also something that happens with a very recently divorced person. 248 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:19,920 Speaker 1: That is also something that happens with a person who's 249 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:23,000 Speaker 1: going through something emotional. They want a relationship because you 250 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,000 Speaker 1: want to feel loved and nurture it impaired up and 251 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:26,400 Speaker 1: you want to go to a dinner with someone, on 252 00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:29,439 Speaker 1: a vacation with someone. You want to blend a family 253 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:31,520 Speaker 1: for your child. You want all these things, but you 254 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:34,360 Speaker 1: can't just add water and create it. And sometimes you 255 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:36,000 Speaker 1: can see the island, but you can't get there because 256 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,040 Speaker 1: you're not ready to get there, and that fucking does suck. 257 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:40,560 Speaker 1: But you have to be honest because you cannot involve 258 00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:43,040 Speaker 1: someone else, and if you meet the right person at 259 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:45,880 Speaker 1: the wrong time, you're going to really fuck it up. 260 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:47,040 Speaker 2: You'd rather just put. 261 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:49,439 Speaker 1: Somebody on ice and get to know them and be 262 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:51,839 Speaker 1: a friend to them, and it will work later. It's 263 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:54,200 Speaker 1: all going to work the way it should and you 264 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:57,520 Speaker 1: really shouldn't be like forcing when something isn't right or 265 00:12:57,520 --> 00:12:59,920 Speaker 1: doesn't feel right. It doesn't matter if someone's that an. 266 00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:02,400 Speaker 1: It doesn't mean you're not pretty, it doesn't mean you're 267 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:03,960 Speaker 1: not smart, It doesn't mean anything. 268 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:05,280 Speaker 2: It means that that. 269 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:10,320 Speaker 1: Person likes pistaschio versus black raspberry. It just means that 270 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:12,880 Speaker 1: they're maybe not even aligned. They may like you, think 271 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:14,520 Speaker 1: you're hot, they may want to have sex with you, 272 00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:17,359 Speaker 1: but you may not align with them from a religious 273 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:20,440 Speaker 1: or a cultural or a food, or a likes comedy 274 00:13:20,679 --> 00:13:23,240 Speaker 1: or a likes to sleep or travel or ski, or 275 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:28,160 Speaker 1: references in music or too many children or anything like. 276 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:29,080 Speaker 2: It is so hard. 277 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:31,560 Speaker 1: It's why I keep repeating when someone's like, oh, you're 278 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,280 Speaker 1: just doing it so you could take all the guys, 279 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:35,160 Speaker 1: like as if I could just put guys in my 280 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:37,240 Speaker 1: trunk and like keep them. Like I met a very 281 00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:41,840 Speaker 1: good looking, extraordinarily wealthy man, very interested in me. He's 282 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:47,520 Speaker 1: geographically undesirable, has a child that is younger than I 283 00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:51,880 Speaker 1: would like, one child, and has multiple children, more children 284 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:55,120 Speaker 1: than I would like. That's just a personal choice. So 285 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:57,280 Speaker 1: I could like fall in love with him, have sex 286 00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,160 Speaker 1: with him, be attracted to him, be interested in him. 287 00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:00,719 Speaker 1: But if I get down on the road, these other 288 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:04,200 Speaker 1: things are gonna bother me. So he's great. I like him, 289 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:06,800 Speaker 1: he likes me. It doesn't mean we're supposed to be together. 290 00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:10,360 Speaker 1: It's a very serious distinction. And get yourself secure enough 291 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:29,400 Speaker 1: to realize that I met a catch, a catch in 292 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:33,080 Speaker 1: so many different ways, like a catch, okay at the 293 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:36,200 Speaker 1: core event, a very successful man, not part of the core. 294 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:39,000 Speaker 1: I don't want to get into the details, but like 295 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:43,040 Speaker 1: a very successful man who wanted to just sort of 296 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:45,640 Speaker 1: stop by because he was in the building and he 297 00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,160 Speaker 1: was a person of note, and he came by and 298 00:14:48,160 --> 00:14:49,160 Speaker 1: we chatted. 299 00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,800 Speaker 2: And we exchanged information. 300 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:55,680 Speaker 1: And he's international, so we were messaging on WhatsApp and 301 00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:58,640 Speaker 1: I was mentioning I'm going to Paris, and he lives 302 00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:00,680 Speaker 1: in Paris, and where are my stay? And just back 303 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:02,080 Speaker 1: and forth and when he comes to New York we'll 304 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:03,720 Speaker 1: get together, et cetera. 305 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:05,920 Speaker 2: So last night I decided to. 306 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,720 Speaker 1: Check in because I'm trying to be more on my 307 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:10,280 Speaker 1: feminine side, and I've learned that when you are proactive, 308 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:12,520 Speaker 1: it sort of works better with men than I ever thought. 309 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:15,680 Speaker 1: Not aggressive, but like some version of proactive, because men 310 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:17,920 Speaker 1: are just as insecure as we are, which none of 311 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:22,120 Speaker 1: us realize. And I've learned that too through someone telling 312 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:24,480 Speaker 1: me that on the apps it's sixty five percent seventy 313 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:26,760 Speaker 1: five percent men and they don't like that women ghost 314 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:29,360 Speaker 1: them and bread crumb and it's just it's wild shocking. 315 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:32,200 Speaker 1: So to this person I reached out yesterday, it's just like, hey, 316 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:34,320 Speaker 1: how are you doing? We went back and forth and 317 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:36,040 Speaker 1: I asked a question and went back and forth and 318 00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:38,080 Speaker 1: he was like a huh because I asked a question 319 00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:40,640 Speaker 1: that was like an inside joke from that evening and 320 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:42,120 Speaker 1: he was like huh. And I'm like, he's like what, 321 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,760 Speaker 1: And I then said what I meant and he was like, 322 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:46,440 Speaker 1: I don't know what you're talking about. And I didn't 323 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,440 Speaker 1: looked down and realized that I was what's apping the 324 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:51,760 Speaker 1: wrong person and I was what's apping a photographer that 325 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:54,960 Speaker 1: I know from fashion Week, and he was crying and 326 00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:57,040 Speaker 1: we were crying, and I realized I hadn't been speaking 327 00:15:57,080 --> 00:16:00,040 Speaker 1: to that person at all, literally at all. And I 328 00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:02,800 Speaker 1: the time that I met multiple people, like I was 329 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:05,680 Speaker 1: dating years ago, and I met multiple people on a 330 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:07,680 Speaker 1: dating app, And it gets to be a lot to 331 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:11,360 Speaker 1: crowd up your contact list with Joe from this app, 332 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:13,160 Speaker 1: Like you're sort of keeping people with just a phone 333 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,280 Speaker 1: numbers and something in the conversation will remind you and 334 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:17,560 Speaker 1: you're gonna delete them soon enough anyway, because I hate everyone. 335 00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:21,440 Speaker 1: So basically, I had my company Christmas party, meeting my 336 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,840 Speaker 1: team Christmas party, like probably fifteen twenty people because I 337 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:28,040 Speaker 1: had my publicist and other people and glam people at 338 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:30,000 Speaker 1: what was the fucking name of that place? It was 339 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,800 Speaker 1: great in New York. What the hell is that place? 340 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:36,880 Speaker 1: That's going to annoy me? Now? Stanton Social Club because 341 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:39,360 Speaker 1: I had amazing French onion soup dumplings, and I had 342 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:42,440 Speaker 1: a Christmas party upstairs in a private area with like 343 00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:46,320 Speaker 1: all of us sitting down and a man walked in 344 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:50,800 Speaker 1: to my Christmas dinner with my staff, my holiday dinner, 345 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:53,680 Speaker 1: holiday party, my staff, whatever am I do? I speak English? 346 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:56,360 Speaker 1: My staff holiday party. And I looked up at this 347 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:57,920 Speaker 1: man that I had gone on a date with and 348 00:16:57,920 --> 00:17:00,000 Speaker 1: didn't like. I'd gone on a date with him at 349 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,280 Speaker 1: Lore for lunch and he was fine. So I'm like, 350 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:04,239 Speaker 1: I disliked him. I just was not going to date 351 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,560 Speaker 1: him or marry him. He was a fine human being 352 00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:09,040 Speaker 1: that I'll never speak to again. And this human being 353 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:11,919 Speaker 1: walked into Stanton Social Club in the private area upstairs, 354 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:14,520 Speaker 1: and I looked at him and I was like, Hi, what. 355 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:15,280 Speaker 2: Are you doing here? 356 00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:18,520 Speaker 1: He goes you texted me to meet you after because 357 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:19,760 Speaker 1: we were all going to go out to like a 358 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,640 Speaker 1: club and drink and party. And that was the year 359 00:17:22,640 --> 00:17:24,840 Speaker 1: that Laney, my housekeeper, was with me and we both 360 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:29,080 Speaker 1: drank like seventy five spicy skinny Girl Margarita's. And the 361 00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:31,280 Speaker 1: next day I called and I want I was so sick. 362 00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:32,800 Speaker 1: I was like, Laney, I need you to help me 363 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:34,200 Speaker 1: and I need an IV and She's like, I need 364 00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,280 Speaker 1: you to help me. I'm calling in drunk, So she 365 00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:37,960 Speaker 1: didn't come into work. I was throwing up over my 366 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,040 Speaker 1: apartment and I was dying, So we had like seventy 367 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:42,359 Speaker 1: five margaritas and we were going out to a night club, 368 00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:44,439 Speaker 1: and I guess I texted somebody that I did like 369 00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:47,000 Speaker 1: to meet us after and the guy that I didn't 370 00:17:47,119 --> 00:17:51,199 Speaker 1: care for comes to my holiday Christmas party early. I 371 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:53,760 Speaker 1: told him after, and he comes like three quarters through 372 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:56,439 Speaker 1: the dinner. So we spent my holiday Christmas party and 373 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:59,480 Speaker 1: the after party with a fucking stranger who I didn't like. 374 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:02,240 Speaker 1: Becase because I was messaging the wrong person. So there 375 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:05,800 Speaker 1: is a theme. So yes, I messaged an amazing catch 376 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:08,119 Speaker 1: that I met and it wasn't him at all. That 377 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:11,080 Speaker 1: person and I are not messaging whatsoever, So what a 378 00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:13,920 Speaker 1: fucking loser. No surprise is detected.