Speaker 1: You're listening to Comedy Central took them down my show.
Speaker 1: My name is John Stewart.
Speaker 2: We have a tremendous show planned for you this evening.
Speaker 2: We have prepared it with the greatest of care, the
Speaker 2: greatest of love. Our guest tonight a young actor named Carol.
Speaker 2: Carol Steve Carell. I'm not familiar, but I hear good things.
Speaker 1: But first, last night.
Speaker 2: We poked a little fun at the APEX summit in
Speaker 2: Beijing for making world leaders wear goofy clothes and displaying
Speaker 2: what I believe pyrotechnic professionals referred to as fireworks.
Speaker 1: Out the yin Yang. But fairs fair, there were some results.
Speaker 3: President Obama and President Chixhin Ping of China announced a
Speaker 3: major deal on climate change.
Speaker 4: The world's two biggest polluts agreed to reduce the combin emissions.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. That's I had no idea that was
Speaker 1: going to happen.
Speaker 2: Less carbon emissions from the two of the world's largest polluters.
Speaker 1: This calls for a celebration.
Speaker 5: Is that?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 6: That? No?
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no no.
Speaker 2: The fireworks thing is actually working. Okay, I think this
Speaker 2: deal is going to call for a bit of a
Speaker 2: cultural shift. But listen, this is great, So obviously you
Speaker 2: can't do anything real about the environment without China on board,
Speaker 2: which brings us to our next issue.
Speaker 3: Chinese gangs are being accused of smuggling huge amounts of
Speaker 3: ivory from Tanzania with the help of Tanzania, as.
Speaker 7: Chinese embassy staff were major buyers of their ivory. The
Speaker 7: consignments of ivory were sent to China in diplomatic bags
Speaker 7: on the presidential plane.
Speaker 2: Ivory sent and diplomatic bags.
Speaker 1: What's that in my bag?
Speaker 8: No, no, no, it's not an elephant tusk.
Speaker 1: It's a giant dildo, not made of ivory.
Speaker 2: I have a thing for incredibly oversized ringd dildo. So
Speaker 2: if you excuse me, the punisher and I have to
Speaker 2: catch a plane. How could you, China providing a market
Speaker 2: for illegal poachers. I don't know how you China can
Speaker 2: even look at yourself and your incredibly intricately carved gilded
Speaker 2: ivory mirrors. What kind of solace and moral country would
Speaker 2: be the largest retail market for ivory.
Speaker 9: The United States is the second largest retail market for
Speaker 9: elephant ivory.
Speaker 4: Hella, wait, how can that possibly be unless the eye
Speaker 4: stands for ivory?
Speaker 1: I always thought it was white plastic.
Speaker 2: Needless to say, our insatiable hunger for ivory trinkets you
Speaker 2: enjoy that.
Speaker 1: Our insatiable hunger for ivory.
Speaker 2: Trinkets is having a catastrophic impact on the ivory's original owners.
Speaker 9: One hundred thousand elephants were killed for their tasks over
Speaker 9: just three years. The animals have reached a tipping point,
Speaker 9: with more elephants killed each year than those being born.
Speaker 9: If it continues, they'll be wiped out.
Speaker 2: All right, it's clear we've got two options people. Either
Speaker 2: we as humans can decrease our consumption of ivory by
Speaker 2: no longer buying trinkets we don't even need. Our elephants
Speaker 2: can lose this to your gestation thing and start shooting
Speaker 2: out pumps like a T shirt.
Speaker 1: Canny, I mean, chop, chop elephants. Your careers can wait,
Speaker 1: Come on, start, come on.
Speaker 2: Look, clearly, we're not gonna save elephants because it's the
Speaker 2: right thing to do.
Speaker 1: That's just not us.
Speaker 2: So sweeten the pot. What's in it for us? The
Speaker 2: tusk lists terrorist.
Speaker 3: Groups have another source of fast cash to buy guns
Speaker 3: and fund the rest of their illegal activities. They're slaughtering
Speaker 3: African elephants. And selling the Ivory tusks for a lot
Speaker 3: of money.
Speaker 8: Only one point six tusks would be required to fund
Speaker 8: the spectacular double terrorist attack on two embassies in East Africa.
Speaker 2: So you're saying saving elephants can actually keep us from
Speaker 2: being victims in terrorist attacks. I mean, if we'll take
Speaker 2: off our shoes at air where it's to prevent terrorism,
Speaker 2: surely we can stop buying souvenir Ivory figurines made in
Speaker 2: the likeness of the Ivory donor. Apparently, Ivory money is
Speaker 2: funding almost every civil war, genocidal militia, and terrorist group
Speaker 2: in Africa, from Al Shabab to Boko Haram. You may
Speaker 2: be saying to yourself in the US ban Ivory imports.
Speaker 2: It's like nineteen eighty nine, to which I would say, oh,
Speaker 2: you have a research team too, because I was not
Speaker 2: aware of that, but we did. We did ban it.
Speaker 2: But that'll be tusk size loopholes in it.
Speaker 1: To me, brother, you've.
Speaker 7: Been able to walk the streets of New York and
Speaker 7: find Ivory for sale, and if you're a cop and
Speaker 7: say I think you're Ivory's illegal, the first thing that
Speaker 7: the Ivory seller will say to you is no, no, no,
Speaker 7: mine is antique.
Speaker 1: Oh, it's antique. Antique.
Speaker 2: Ivory is grandfather, And that's the loophole. People pretend things
Speaker 2: are antique.
Speaker 1: Guess what. That's not how our laws work for anything else.
Speaker 2: You can't say, oh, g officer, that cocaine was purchased
Speaker 2: by my grandmother in nineteen twelve.
Speaker 1: So I think we're good here.
Speaker 2: You know what, back then, people were polite, they had respect.
Speaker 2: Would you like the cocaine? That's why Earlier this year,
Speaker 2: the Obama administration proposed a new ban on all commercial
Speaker 2: ivory sales within the United States and stricter documentation requirements
Speaker 2: for antiques.
Speaker 4: The new regulations, they effectively changed the burden approof.
Speaker 1: That's exactly right.
Speaker 7: It shifts the burden of proof from the government to
Speaker 7: the holder of the ivory to prove any ivory they
Speaker 7: have is antique.
Speaker 2: Now, you know, Democrats are going to support these rules.
Speaker 2: There's no animal they won't protect. It's why thousands of
Speaker 2: seven year old's heads have been set aside as national
Speaker 2: life preserves. But Republicans, Republicans except new regulation from the
Speaker 2: Obama administration, even one designed to save their beloved mascot.
Speaker 8: You have terrorists and rubble groups capitalizing on this trade.
Speaker 1: We need very aggressive action.
Speaker 10: I just find it horrendous that people are doing this
Speaker 10: in the twenty first century.
Speaker 1: Nail these people.
Speaker 2: We have just witnessed something rarer in nature than the
Speaker 2: African elephant. Bipartisan commitment to an issue.
Speaker 1: No, it makes sense, It makes total sense.
Speaker 2: Elephants get preserved, terrorists get denied funding.
Speaker 1: What kind of an asshole would be opposed to it?
Speaker 11: What we are first doing is trying to defeat this
Speaker 11: ivory band.
Speaker 1: Oh an NR asshole? Oh nra.
Speaker 2: Is there anything that you won't try to kill that
Speaker 2: keeps other things from being killed?
Speaker 1: Why?
Speaker 2: Why would you be against something that keeps illicit money
Speaker 2: out of the hands of terrorists.
Speaker 4: It's also a firearms issue, but it's really an issue
Speaker 4: for anybody who has ivory.
Speaker 1: It's crazy. This investment that you just inherited is worthless.
Speaker 11: It's going to drive the price of ivory up.
Speaker 5: Make the owner's criminal designed to hurt Americans.
Speaker 2: So I guess the only things that should be hurt
Speaker 2: here are giant land mammals and victims of African terrorism. Look,
Speaker 2: you know what, why you're not sitting around in the
Speaker 2: studio yacking on the radio that can't put a dent
Speaker 2: on this just and powerful by partisan congressional resolve, no
Speaker 2: lawmaker is going to take debait.
Speaker 5: For those who are concerned that this administration is trying
Speaker 5: to take away our guns, well this regulation could actually
Speaker 5: do that. I've introduced legislation S. Twenty five eighty seven,
Speaker 5: the Lawful Ivory Protection Act of twenty fourteen, to stop
Speaker 5: this misguided policy from going forward.
Speaker 2: See this is why we can't have nice things.
Speaker 1: Like elephants. We'll be right back. What about the show?
Speaker 2: I know, you know, we cover a lot of bad news.
Speaker 2: Let's look at something that's good. But America from the
Speaker 2: great state of.
Speaker 12: Minnesota, community organizers were on the ground in their neighborhoods,
Speaker 12: canvassing to encourage people to get out and vote. One
Speaker 12: of the volunteers, the woman you see here in a
Speaker 12: purple hoodie sweatshirt, is Minneapolis Mayor Betsy Hodges. She's posing
Speaker 12: for a photo with another volunteer named Novelle Gordon.
Speaker 1: You know what, that's awesome.
Speaker 2: It's grassroots democracy at its finest.
Speaker 1: Or to put that another way.
Speaker 10: This is a photo of Minneapolis Mayor Betsy Hodges arm
Speaker 10: in arm with a man flashing what law enforcement agencies
Speaker 10: tell us is a known gang sign for a North
Speaker 10: Side gang.
Speaker 1: That's a gang sign.
Speaker 2: All this time, I've been the lead in for a
Speaker 2: notorious gang member.
Speaker 1: Terrible. You know what, I don't want that gang member.
Speaker 1: I want that guy gone by the end of the year. Anyway.
Speaker 2: KTSP Eyewitness News five is taking.
Speaker 1: This story very seriously.
Speaker 2: Tonight, law enforcement sources alerted us to a photo that
Speaker 2: has them fuming over the actions of Minneapples mayor Betsy Hodges.
Speaker 10: They want to know why the mayor would take a
Speaker 10: picture with a convicted criminal while he and the mayor
Speaker 10: flashing gang signs.
Speaker 2: I think it's obvious it's to warn clown ass bitches
Speaker 2: not to snatch. Since it's just not a sentence, I say,
Speaker 2: a lot in trouble. How on earth can the mayor's
Speaker 2: office explain this blatant endorsement of criminal activity.
Speaker 10: A spokesperson concludes by saying, quote, she and the man
Speaker 10: in the photo are just pointing at one another, to
Speaker 10: which the head of the police union says.
Speaker 1: She's been around long enough, she knows better.
Speaker 8: Come on, She's held elective office since two thousand and five,
Speaker 8: whereas pointing as a gesture only goes back to literally.
Speaker 2: The very first form of human communication. By the way, that,
Speaker 2: of course, oh, do not encourage notorious gang kingpin.
Speaker 1: Huggy d all Right.
Speaker 2: Samara Betsy Hodges was doing voter registration work with a
Speaker 2: man who wasn't in a gang and was brazenly flashing
Speaker 2: a not gang sign.
Speaker 1: So how does this get painted as a gang thing?
Speaker 12: One month ago, she took a strong position on law
Speaker 12: enforcement and community relations. She wrote this in an open
Speaker 12: letter to the community. Quote, some officers abuse the trust
Speaker 12: that is afforded to them and take advantage of their
Speaker 12: roles to do harm rather than prevented.
Speaker 1: Oh, I get what this is about. This isn't so much.
Speaker 2: About the mayor flashing this sign I a supposed gang member,
Speaker 2: as it is about the police union flashing.
Speaker 1: This sign, not the mayor.
Speaker 2: Not anyway, The cops are mad because the mayor criticized
Speaker 2: their conduct, so when they came across this picture, they
Speaker 2: told that everyone that it was actually this picture, which means, unfortunately,
Speaker 2: it's time to once again update our list of innocent
Speaker 2: things black people do that look suspicious.
Speaker 1: Hold on, hold on, here we go.
Speaker 2: Don't wear a hoodie, don't carry skittles, don't carry keys,
Speaker 2: don't reach for a wallet, don't drive in a car
Speaker 2: in a nice neighborhood, don't drive in a car, don't
Speaker 2: be a passenger at a car, don't knock on a
Speaker 2: white person's door. And now don't point, which, of course,
Speaker 2: for God's sakes, means black people. Whatever you do, stay
Speaker 2: away from sporting events.
Speaker 1: We'll be right back.
Speaker 2: What about if I got fini ah, A gentleman has
Speaker 2: a new film out called Fox Catcher.
Speaker 1: He's welcome back to the program.
Speaker 6: Steve Carell, you cannot to explain something to me.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna need some help there. I'm gonna need some
Speaker 1: help there.
Speaker 2: So I go, and this is something and I don't
Speaker 2: mean in no way to be disrespectful. I go to
Speaker 2: see the movie Fox Catcher. I see the movie Fox.
Speaker 2: It's a brilliant movie. It's a wonder them of the
Speaker 2: performances are incredible.
Speaker 1: You're not in it. No, I don't see. I watched
Speaker 1: the whole thing.
Speaker 2: They keep telling me, Steve Carell, he's great in this.
Speaker 2: You won't believe it. He's so good.
Speaker 1: I know you. You're not in this movie. No, I
Speaker 1: am not you weren't in that clip. I looked all
Speaker 1: over the thing.
Speaker 2: There is a gentleman in it who is phenomenal, but.
Speaker 1: I've never tell me about that.
Speaker 2: He plays this character DuPont, who is sort of a
Speaker 2: twisted He's an eccentric rich He plays.
Speaker 1: It, he inhabits it. He doesn't play it.
Speaker 2: It's not even acting, it's being it.
Speaker 11: Does he disappear?
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something.
Speaker 2: I'm watching it with al Pacino, Al and I went
Speaker 2: to the movie and Al turns to me and he says,
Speaker 2: in the middle of it, I don't know who that
Speaker 2: guy is, but I'm.
Speaker 1: Quitting because that guy is so acting. What would they
Speaker 1: call it? Good acting? Good acting?
Speaker 2: It's it's ridiculous, dude, did you have any when you
Speaker 2: watch it?
Speaker 1: Does it even feel like you? Does it?
Speaker 2: Do you even remember it? It's it's an incredible pickre
Speaker 2: it was.
Speaker 11: I'll admit it was weird. It was weird. He went
Speaker 11: away for three months and that was three hours every
Speaker 11: day getting into that stuff, and it was strange. I mean,
Speaker 11: this is a real guy and we modeled it after
Speaker 11: this real guy.
Speaker 2: But the gestures of the voice, everything, and it doesn't
Speaker 2: feel you know, sometimes you can watch a movie and
Speaker 2: you go, oh, look at that guy acting showing the acting.
Speaker 1: It doesn't feel like that at alls.
Speaker 2: It's it's like an inhabiting And you were here for
Speaker 2: years and I never thought you were talented. I mean
Speaker 2: you were, you were you know, we we'd have you
Speaker 2: out there. You're eating crisco, you're getting drunk, you're in shorts, you're.
Speaker 1: You know why didn't you say anything?
Speaker 11: I tried, but you would never listen to me. Can
Speaker 11: I just say I saw John Stewart's.
Speaker 1: Move, Yes, he did see that.
Speaker 11: It is equally, yes, remarkable and fantastic, fantastic.
Speaker 1: Let's have you know what we should do?
Speaker 13: What we do.
Speaker 1: Here's what we should do is let's have a fawn off.
Speaker 1: A fawn off.
Speaker 2: All right, you're acting Shakespeare from the Grave, got an erection?
Speaker 2: Watch in your movie.
Speaker 11: I have never seen a director achieve in any movie
Speaker 11: in history what you were able to achieve in the
Speaker 11: movie Rose Watch.
Speaker 13: It.
Speaker 11: No, honestly, honestly, it is it is. I know you're
Speaker 11: trying to you're blocking John fuck because you don't you
Speaker 11: don't want you don't want me to embarrass you.
Speaker 1: No, I'm very fantastic, Thank you so much, you know what.
Speaker 2: He came to see it in Tell Your Ride, and
Speaker 2: I have to say it was the first time we
Speaker 2: showed it to a crowd. It was so when I
Speaker 2: saw Steve come out through the crowd, it really did
Speaker 2: like I got like watery, like you came up and
Speaker 2: I was just like, I know you, like.
Speaker 11: It was like what are we doing?
Speaker 1: And no oxygen? Did you know? Had you been to
Speaker 1: Tell Your Ride previously? No?
Speaker 7: I had.
Speaker 2: It's fifty thousand feet above sea levels. Yeah, I felt
Speaker 2: like you tell me if you felt like this when
Speaker 2: I got off. There's like gondolas that take you places
Speaker 2: because you can't walk, and I remember not being able
Speaker 2: to breathe, but everybody else was walking. You felt like
Speaker 2: I was in a science fiction movie.
Speaker 11: Yeah, everybody was fine.
Speaker 1: Everybody's walking around and you need a mask.
Speaker 11: You need some sort of oxygen masks to walk around up.
Speaker 2: There, right, And I wanted to grab people and go,
Speaker 2: don't you see they're suffocating us?
Speaker 11: Yeah, you just have a perpetual headache up there.
Speaker 2: Beautiful though it is, we think or maybe that was
Speaker 2: a hallucination.
Speaker 1: The when when you when you.
Speaker 2: Go through this process though, and you inhabit something like
Speaker 2: this and it's a dark place for three months. And
Speaker 2: you are not a dark individual. I've known you for
Speaker 2: a very long time. You are not right now this
Speaker 2: or or or what question do you want to answer?
Speaker 2: It's really up to you. It's up to you, whatever question.
Speaker 2: But do you understand you know, you're just a good person.
Speaker 2: I would think it's difficult to live in that for
Speaker 2: a while.
Speaker 11: It was strange and I'm actually we shot it in Pittsburgh,
Speaker 11: and I'm glad I went home on the weekend. But
Speaker 11: it is a weird thing. And not to sound too
Speaker 11: actory or methody, but you kind of stay in it.
Speaker 11: Not like I was walking around in character the whole time,
Speaker 11: but you sort of you stay in that tone and
Speaker 11: it's pretty heavy and it's dark.
Speaker 2: Kids are still too there's too young to see this.
Speaker 11: Oh yeah, no, they wouldn't. It would not be a
Speaker 11: good It wouldn't be a good thing to see dad
Speaker 11: doing that.
Speaker 2: You know it's going to be awesome though, when they're
Speaker 2: like eighteen and they're acting up a little bit and
Speaker 2: you go give in this room, put on the DVD.
Speaker 1: Player and I'll sit behind and going, well.
Speaker 2: I gotta tell you, it's remarkable. And I'm going to
Speaker 2: say this, and I know you don't want to hear it,
Speaker 2: but here's how good it was. Oscar the statue will
Speaker 2: open his arms and embrace Steve Carrell.
Speaker 1: Put that on the post here. It is Your moment.
Speaker 13: Is that Karen Hag plans to fight the two hundred
Speaker 13: and thirty dollars tickets you got on Halloween Day, accused
Speaker 13: with dozens of the drivers of not stopping to let
Speaker 13: a six foot four Donald Duck across the street.
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