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Speaker 1: Welcome to the podcast. We're so glad you're here, especially

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Speaker 1: to start off your Monday. Yeah, it's Brooke and Jeffrey,

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Speaker 1: the home of the Second Date Update, and you found us.

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Speaker 1: We've got a brand new one for you today where

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Speaker 1: you are going to learn all about the Tow of Steve. Oh, yes,

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Speaker 1: very educational. Did they know about this before? Moose? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's a thing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Had you ever abided by the rules?

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I just kind of randomly get action.

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Speaker 2: It's a blessing to me. Oh no, town.

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Speaker 1: All right, let's find out what it is. The show

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Speaker 1: starts right now.

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Speaker 2: Second Date Updated. We got an email from one of

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Speaker 2: our listeners who says he's been living his life by

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Speaker 2: a dating philosophy that's been circulating on the internet now

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Speaker 2: for about two decades.

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Speaker 1: Over decades.

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Speaker 2: It's called the Tow of Steve. That is Tao of Steve.

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Speaker 2: And I've not heard anything about this, but according to him,

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Speaker 2: it involves three basic rules that men must live by.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Number one be desireless.

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Speaker 1: Number two nobody wants you.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm good at that one.

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Speaker 3: I'm not sure. I guess we'll find out.

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Speaker 2: Number two is be excellent and number three be gone.

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Speaker 2: And if you can live by all three of those

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Speaker 2: rules as a man, you will become irresistible to any

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Speaker 2: woman on earth, even married women.

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Speaker 3: Brooks, So look out. Maybe get your ear plugs ready

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Speaker 3: before we talk to him.

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Speaker 1: I love those gone boys.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we're gonna learn more in a second. First, let's

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Speaker 2: say hello to Bobby, who needs our spiritual guidance today.

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Speaker 3: Bobby, welcome to the show.

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Speaker 4: Hey guys, how you doing.

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Speaker 1: I wanted you to be Steve, the originator of all

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Speaker 1: of this, but barely you're Bobby. That works too.

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Speaker 4: Oh it can't be everything. I guess all the time.

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Speaker 4: I'm doing my best here, I'm doing my best.

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Speaker 1: It isn't calling our show breaking rules one in three

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Speaker 1: already of your exec Yeah.

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Speaker 4: You guys are on to me. But it's a deasperate situation.

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Speaker 2: I need you.

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Speaker 1: That's rule number four. Be desperate. Jeffer just didn't get it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so tell us who's this woman and that's making

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Speaker 2: you go against everything you believe in. Her name is Tory.

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Speaker 4: She's super hot and she's super nice and we just

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Speaker 4: had an amazing date and like, I don't know, Normally

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Speaker 4: a woman would respond to all these philosophical things I've done,

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Speaker 4: but it's completely backfiring on me now, I.

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Speaker 1: Know, because if you're excited about someone and it's like

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Speaker 1: the first time you've ever felt this way, like lean

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Speaker 1: into it, like life's too short to be desireless. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you could tell sometimes if someone's like purposely waiting till.

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Speaker 2: You ry to do it, Like, yeah, next thing you know,

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Speaker 2: you end up on this show and you hit your

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Speaker 2: rock bottom. So wow, Bobby, tell us how did you

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Speaker 2: get to this point? Like, tell us about your date

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Speaker 2: with toy?

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Speaker 1: How did you know her? Is it an online thing

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Speaker 1: or no?

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Speaker 4: No, I met her at a bar. I just kind

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Speaker 4: of bumped into her, and it had to be desireful

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Speaker 4: in the beginning, and then you be desire less. Okay,

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Speaker 4: that's how it works.

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Speaker 3: Okay, it makes sense.

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Speaker 4: I'm in the phase between desireless and the excellent and

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Speaker 4: we're waiting outside the restaurant because it's like a popular.

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Speaker 5: Place, you know.

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Speaker 4: Okay, So I had my opportunity to be excellent just

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Speaker 4: come upon me.

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Speaker 5: It was awesome.

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Speaker 3: What are you excellent at?

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Speaker 2: Friend?

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Speaker 5: Oh?

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Speaker 1: I'm excited. What this opportunity was?

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Speaker 3: What happened?

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Speaker 4: So this foreign family I'm not sure where they were from.

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Speaker 4: I didn't speak whatever language they like. Vaguely, I can

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Speaker 4: tell they're looking for a specific museum, like a really

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Speaker 4: famous read.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so they're like tourists in the area and they

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Speaker 1: need some help.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, Okay, they weren't understanding my directions, so I

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Speaker 4: was just like with my fingers. I was like, I

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Speaker 4: will walk you there, you know, like little like walking

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Speaker 4: man finger Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Most people would pull out Google Translate on their phone

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Speaker 1: and pull it up on their phone on Google Maps.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but okay, yeah.

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Speaker 4: But Google Maps is an excellent I want.

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Speaker 1: To be You're gonna leave your date standing in front

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Speaker 1: of the restaurant while you walk this family. Absolutely not.

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Speaker 2: I took her with me. So now you're demonstrating that

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Speaker 2: you're a guy who's willing to help strangers. You know

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Speaker 2: your way around the neighborhood generally a lot of excellent quality.

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Speaker 1: You know what a museum is, yes, you know exactly.

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Speaker 2: So did you go straight to the bedroom from the museum?

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Speaker 2: Did you have to do more?

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Speaker 4: Well, you know, if you have the chance to be

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Speaker 4: excellent twice, let's do it twice. And luckily for your

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Speaker 4: boy here he was excellent. Twice in one night.

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Speaker 3: Whoa at the museum?

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Speaker 2: So many directions back to the restaurant.

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Speaker 1: Wow, what'd you do the second time?

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Speaker 4: So second time we're having dinner. Dinner is like pretty

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Speaker 4: much finishing up and you could just tell like someone

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Speaker 4: dined and dashed, someone hadn't paid their bill. Woh yeah,

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Speaker 4: Like the waiters were all huddling together and stuff, and

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Speaker 4: like it's an expensive bill.

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Speaker 2: It was a big deal. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I took care of the bill and I tipped the waiter,

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Speaker 4: just kind of nonchalant.

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Speaker 3: Like, oh wow, super nice, bro.

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Speaker 1: I thought you were going to go to hear them

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Speaker 1: and tackle the dining dasher, but you just took care

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Speaker 1: of it.

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Speaker 4: I mean, I think tackling the dining dasher is cool,

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Speaker 4: but it's even cooler to be nonchalante.

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Speaker 2: How do you be nonchalant after just going over and

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Speaker 2: paying someone else's bill? Like, what do you say to

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Speaker 2: Tory when you come back to the table.

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Speaker 4: Well, the thing is you say nothing, and you wait

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Speaker 4: for her to question you what was that?

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Speaker 1: And then you reveal, wow, did she fall into that? Ploy?

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Speaker 4: She was like what was that? I was like, I

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Speaker 4: just took care of it. A little shoulder shrug, No, biggie.

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Speaker 1: No, while you're checking your bake, stage me to make

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Speaker 1: sure it doesn't bounce.

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Speaker 4: These things, these are investments. Okay, you are investing though,

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Speaker 4: because you know she's gonna think about little things.

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Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, it's a gentleman thing to do.

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Speaker 3: We're all impressed. Did it work on Tory?

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Speaker 4: If you had asked me in the moment, I was like,

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Speaker 4: couldn't be better. I walked her home, we hugged, I

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Speaker 4: gave her a peck on the cheek, said we'd talk, dude.

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Speaker 4: And it turns out she goned me.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, yeah, the gonner got gone.

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Speaker 2: You never hit me up.

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Speaker 1: How long did you wait before you contacted her after

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Speaker 1: the date?

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Speaker 4: Well, I mean, like according to the pools I live by,

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Speaker 4: and trying to be gone. So I was trying to

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Speaker 4: be gone for a while.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's your answer right there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Do you think she thought she got ghosts me?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: You don't hear from someone after a first date, you're not, yea.

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Speaker 2: So maybe your rules are playing against you if you're

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Speaker 2: sticking to them.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, But like after like four or five days, I

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Speaker 4: just couldn't take it anymore and I just started texting

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Speaker 4: her and I was absolutely desireful, not excellent, and I

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Speaker 4: was pregnant.

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Speaker 2: Man, she broke you. I feel you, Steve, would be

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Speaker 2: so disappointed in your behavior.

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Speaker 1: When I tell myself I'm gonna eat healthy and then

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Speaker 1: what do you know, a whole box of oreos ends

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Speaker 1: up in my mouth.

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Speaker 2: You know, and now you're reaching out to us, which

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Speaker 2: I think breaks your first rule of like be desireless,

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Speaker 2: because now you're asking a radio show to show how

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Speaker 2: much you want to hang out.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean all the rules are out of the

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Speaker 4: window at this point. I want to so bad.

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Speaker 2: Oh, we're throwing every rule that we know out the

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Speaker 2: window when we come back and call Tory for you

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Speaker 2: and try to get her to agree to abide by

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Speaker 2: the towe of Bobby and give you one more chance

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Speaker 2: with your second date update right after this hold on

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Speaker 2: second date update. You know you're in a good place

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Speaker 2: when you find yourself abandoning your entire belief system to

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Speaker 2: score a date with a woman. I've abandoned my belief

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Speaker 2: six times since I got to work today.

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Speaker 3: Oh, and it feels great.

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Speaker 1: I don't know we can call a dating strategy your

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Speaker 1: belief system that he's a little dramatic.

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Speaker 2: Well, that's what Bobby says. He told us he used

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Speaker 2: to live by a dating philosophy called the Tow of Steve, which,

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Speaker 2: if you didn't hear, it's basically three rules about demonstrating

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Speaker 2: your value while also not coming across as desperate.

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Speaker 3: Or two available.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so he's stuck to those very strictly until he

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Speaker 2: met Tory Yeah, and said, screw it, Tory is way

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Speaker 2: too hot.

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Speaker 3: I need to know why she's not calling me back

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Speaker 3: right now.

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Speaker 1: I mean, he lasted four days until he started incessantly

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Speaker 1: texting her exactly with no response.

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Speaker 2: Now, Bobby, I'm assuming you don't want us to tell

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Speaker 2: Tory about your mantra and the rules that you follow,

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Speaker 2: unless how you already told her, did you?

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Speaker 4: No? No, no, I didn't tell her my philosophy.

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Speaker 2: Don't tell her. That's part of it. You don't say it.

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Speaker 1: But also, do you assume most singles out there try

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Speaker 1: to do the same general thing, play hard to get,

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Speaker 1: not be too available. It's pretty be excellent.

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Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah, but like this is my secret, sauce.

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Speaker 4: Tell the secret, sauce.

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Speaker 2: I think it's admirable that as a plan, because mine

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Speaker 2: is just drink a lot and hope for the best.

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Speaker 3: So, Bobby, you earn a better spot than a lot

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Speaker 3: of people.

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Speaker 1: And we've all seen you after you drink a lot.

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Speaker 1: It's not.

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Speaker 3: What she's a crier to.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well that's exactly right. Let's call Tory. We'll see

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Speaker 2: what she has to say why she's not calling you back.

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Speaker 3: Hopefully she picks up, and I'm dialing your number right

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Speaker 3: now here we go pick up for us. Hello, Hey,

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Speaker 3: we're looking to speak with toy.

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Speaker 5: I can I ask you's calling?

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Speaker 3: Yes, you can. We're a radio show. We're called Brook

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Speaker 3: and Jeffrey in the morning.

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Speaker 1: Hey, Tori al shows here.

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Speaker 5: I'm sorry, what's going on?

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Speaker 2: We're doing a segment on our show called the Second

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Speaker 2: Date Update where we're trying to help out one of

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Speaker 2: our listeners get in touch with you after you already

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Speaker 2: went on one day with him.

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Speaker 5: Is just like some internet thing or no, no.

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Speaker 3: It's much more disgraceful. It's a radio thing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's also a podcast.

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Speaker 3: Focus on the radio part.

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Speaker 2: That's the cool bit of this, because we're just trying

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Speaker 2: to get some answers for Bobby about why you're not

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Speaker 2: hanging out again or even talking to him at all.

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Speaker 5: I mean it was a.

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Speaker 1: Date, okay, I mean you could see it's probably pretty

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Speaker 1: obvious that it's driving him nuts, not knowing why you're

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Speaker 1: not calling, because.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, it's kind of just felt like I

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Speaker 5: was on a date with someone who was giving attention

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Speaker 5: to everyone and everything else except me.

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Speaker 1: Why do you say that?

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Speaker 5: Even when we first got to the restaurant, we were

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Speaker 5: waiting and he offered to show some people that were

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Speaker 5: lost the way to the museum.

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Speaker 3: But that's nice.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, but I was starving and we lost our reservation

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Speaker 5: so we had to wait another thirty minutes.

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Speaker 3: Because you were gone.

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Speaker 1: I could see that happening. Actually, I'm sorry, not if

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Speaker 1: she's in heels, like it's not comfortable to walk.

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Speaker 2: Okay, So you don't value helping people.

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Speaker 3: You value material.

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Speaker 1: Things, like don't come at her like that.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I'm trying to understand where your thought processes.

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Speaker 5: I mean, that was just one part of the date.

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Speaker 5: Like even when we were inside, he would compliment the

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Speaker 5: wait staff. But how dare he never once complimented me?

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Speaker 2: Interesting, Oh that's important, like the focus of the whole night,

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Speaker 2: or told the white staff to compliment you for going

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Speaker 2: to do it.

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Speaker 3: Directly looks so beautiful? Could you also relay that to her?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we didn't compliment you, because I mean he gushed

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Speaker 1: about you to us, about and lovely and nice you were.

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Speaker 1: He never said anything like that to you.

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Speaker 5: No. I mean even when I was in the middle

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Speaker 5: of a story. I was telling him about my vacation

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Speaker 5: to Europe, and he got up in the middle of

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Speaker 5: it and went picked up a nap and somebody else

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Speaker 5: dropped at another table.

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Speaker 2: He's almost like his gonna sound funny, He's almost like

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Speaker 2: two nice.

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Speaker 1: No, guys, you think she cares about things that she does,

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Speaker 1: Like guys think girls are impressed by those things, not

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Speaker 1: just listening to them.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, and like even at the end he held the

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Speaker 5: door up and for someone else and then went out

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Speaker 5: behind them, not holding the door for.

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Speaker 4: Me and didn't hold What the heck do you think

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Speaker 4: here's the thing?

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Speaker 1: Obviously he's a kind person. Do you think that he

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Speaker 1: was just nervous and maybe that's why those things didn't

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Speaker 1: happen for.

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Speaker 5: You and seem nervous And he was super nice, polite,

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Speaker 5: talkative with everyone else.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, but a lot of times guys don't want

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Speaker 2: to like seem too desperate in front of a girl

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Speaker 2: and won't say the thing that they're feeling because it

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Speaker 2: don't make them seem you know.

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Speaker 3: Beta, which which is a thing.

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Speaker 2: It's a complex that guys have and.

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Speaker 1: That's why they slam doors in their face.

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Speaker 2: Is But maybe he was just in his own head

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Speaker 2: too much, and we should probably ask him about it,

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Speaker 2: because Bobby is waiting on the other line wanting to

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Speaker 2: compliment you profusely.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry, what, Yeah, he's been listening to this call, Bobby.

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Speaker 6: You there a coming a little smooth, Bobby, anything you

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Speaker 6: want to say to her story?

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Speaker 4: You didn't like all those excellent things I did set

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Speaker 4: you up there?

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Speaker 5: I mean, what was the point of me being there

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Speaker 5: if you weren't going to give any attention or participate

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Speaker 5: in the date at all.

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Speaker 4: I mean, you didn't really give me a lot of

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Speaker 4: attention after the date, you know, I gave you a

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Speaker 4: lot of texts and calls and stuff.

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Speaker 5: Why would I do that, give attention to someone who

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Speaker 5: clearly didn't have the time of day for me.

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Speaker 4: No, that's that's really that's for you.

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Speaker 1: That's not it.

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Speaker 4: Okay, So basically.

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Speaker 2: Bobby, wait, wait, hold on, are you sure you want

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Speaker 2: to do this.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just like apologize and compliment her.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but like you guys want me to lie there,

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Speaker 4: I don't want to lie there. I gotta be honest.

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Speaker 2: We say, compliment her, that's a lot, go for it,

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Speaker 2: then all right, clear your chests.

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Speaker 3: Man, then go for it.

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Speaker 5: Bobby, what do you have to tell me? But can

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Speaker 5: you hurry up? I got things to do?

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Speaker 4: Okay, okay, So, like I live by these these philosophical rules,

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Speaker 4: all of which you don't really need to know about.

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Speaker 4: But basically, like I was, I was trying to demonstrate

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Speaker 4: value and be excellent for you to other people. You know,

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Speaker 4: maybe it came off as like I didn't care about you,

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Speaker 4: but I was like trying to do these things to

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Speaker 4: show you what I am capable of, like my potential

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Speaker 4: and stuff.

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Speaker 3: I can pick up a napkin so fast, yes.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, I can pick up a napkin so fast.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: Right now, I don't even know what you're talking about

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Speaker 5: right now, Like all you have to do is ask

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Speaker 5: me questions and listen and compliment.

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Speaker 1: That is a lot to ask for.

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Speaker 2: That is the thing is complimenting kind of goes against

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Speaker 2: the philosophy that he believes in so.

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Speaker 1: Well, that would be part of being excellent.

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Speaker 3: No, i'd be breaking desireless.

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Speaker 2: But yeah, but you do that.

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Speaker 1: He said after the first eight. See, this is the

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Speaker 1: whole thing with rules, Like they get so complicated. Why

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Speaker 1: don't you just be a normal human and have a

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Speaker 1: good conversation.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, let's get rid of laws too, Jeff, that doesn't

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Speaker 2: no structure.

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Speaker 4: I think I know what she's taught talking about. I

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Speaker 4: think she just doesn't like people who do good things.

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Speaker 1: Here's a question, Tory. If he would have done those

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Speaker 1: things for the other people and also listened and complimented

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Speaker 1: you and asked you questions, how would you have felt.

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Speaker 5: I mean, it would have been better. But I'm not

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Speaker 5: sure why he needed to focus on everything else except

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Speaker 5: our date.

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Speaker 4: But I can't do all those things. I was already

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Speaker 4: tired doing the other stuff.

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Speaker 3: It's a lot, man.

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Speaker 1: So it's one or the other for you.

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Speaker 4: You're either fully thinking, strategizing, or you're doing nothing.

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Speaker 1: He's not a multitasker.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, Like, I'm sorry for being excellent.

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Speaker 1: That's not the apology that she was stepped in before that.

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Speaker 2: But the one thing that he is focused on right now, Tory,

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Speaker 2: his only focus is getting another date with you. That

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Speaker 2: is why he reached out to a radio show to

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Speaker 2: get a hold of you and arrange a second meet up.

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Speaker 2: And we would pay for if you're willing to give

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Speaker 2: him a second chance.

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Speaker 5: I think I'm good. I don't want to be with

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Speaker 5: someone who just likes to grand stand.

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Speaker 2: But remember, Bobby's not good, He's excellent, so you could

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Speaker 2: level up.

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Speaker 1: I mean now, he knows right like now, the expectations

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Speaker 1: of what you're looking for out there, like you might

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Speaker 1: as well give him a chance to make that happen,

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Speaker 1: don't you think.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm listening out. Look you're hot, and I'll pick

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Speaker 4: up your napkin and like you want me to ask

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Speaker 4: you questions? What are you doing next Friday? Let's get dinner.

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Speaker 1: That was actually the smoothest thing he's ever done.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Tory, what do you think I'm gonna pass?

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Speaker 5: We did our best, honestly, he just he came on

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Speaker 5: way too strong at the end and act just like

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Speaker 5: a simp.

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Speaker 2: Oh, Bobby, you're back to square one, dude.

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Speaker 4: These rules just like don't work for some people, Like

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Speaker 4: I'm desireless. Doesn't work.

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Speaker 2: I'm desireful.

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Speaker 5: It doesn't work.

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Speaker 2: I'm excellent.

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Speaker 4: Them too excellent. I'm gone, I'm too gone.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to dating women, buddy, It's going to be a

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Speaker 2: long road.

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Speaker 1: Nobody said too excellent but.

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Speaker 2: Yourself, Jeffrey in the morning. You know, after thousands of

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Speaker 2: second date calls, I'm starting to notice a trend.

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Speaker 3: Sometimes men don't listen very good.

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Speaker 1: Wait are you just now hearing that?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm thousands.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if anybody saw this, But even when

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Speaker 2: guys get her like beating over the head with good information,

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Speaker 2: sometimes it just doesn't register for guys.

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Speaker 4: We're also sometimes information doesn't register.

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Speaker 1: Like it's hard to sometimes change right? What this guy?

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Speaker 5: Sorry?

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Speaker 2: What were you saying?

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Speaker 1: This guy was so like stuck on his plan that

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Speaker 1: when it was the problem, he couldn't like he could

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Speaker 1: ship pivot.

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Speaker 2: What is Brooks saying?

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: Next time you get angry at a man for not listening,

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Speaker 2: maybe earn your attention to God for making us that way.

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Speaker 1: It's icy, it's it's God's fun.

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Speaker 2: Thanks a lot. God put us in a bad spot

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00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,800
Speaker 2: over here, but we can put you into a good

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00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:12,560
Speaker 2: spot in your dating life. If you want some help

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00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:14,880
Speaker 2: with that, at least we'll try email the show, we'll

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Speaker 2: call that person who's not calling you back, and two

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Speaker 2: out of.

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Speaker 1: The four of us will actually hear what you said.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe on a good day.

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Speaker 3: I'm just happy to be here.

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Speaker 2: Go check out all of our second Day podcast wherever

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Speaker 2: you get yours at Brook and

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Speaker 1: Jeffrey Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning