1 00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:07,840 Speaker 1: Hey, guys, welcome to Tommy Talk. And today's topic is 2 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:14,680 Speaker 1: holding space for grief during the holidays. So grief is 3 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:19,240 Speaker 1: a it's a tricky thing because it never fully goes away. 4 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:23,040 Speaker 1: And I talked about earlier this year how I lost 5 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:27,120 Speaker 1: my mentor, and it's still very hard for me. I mean, 6 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:32,479 Speaker 1: if anybody brings up loss or somebody passing away, I 7 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:36,240 Speaker 1: feel the tears instantly forming in the back of my eyes, 8 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:41,680 Speaker 1: desperate to come out. It's still fresh. And you know, 9 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:45,159 Speaker 1: it's not something that I think about necessarily every second 10 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:49,800 Speaker 1: of the day, but when something triggers a memory or 11 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:53,880 Speaker 1: triggers me to think about my mentor who passed, I 12 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:55,800 Speaker 1: feel it and I instantly just want to break down 13 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:59,000 Speaker 1: and cry and fall apart. And that's grief, and that's grief. 14 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:05,200 Speaker 1: It's a real complicated, understandably difficult thing to wrap your 15 00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:08,160 Speaker 1: head around, and it comes in waves, and you don't 16 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:11,959 Speaker 1: ever fully stop grieving somebody you lose or have lost, 17 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:15,160 Speaker 1: especially when it's fresh, especially when it happened not too 18 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:19,000 Speaker 1: long ago. So the holidays can really it can make 19 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:23,080 Speaker 1: it difficult because you want them with you. You feel 20 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:27,400 Speaker 1: the sense of nostalgia and togetherness and then you look 21 00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:31,080 Speaker 1: at an empty chair at the table, or a text 22 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:34,679 Speaker 1: that didn't come through, or your empty voicemails and you 23 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:37,160 Speaker 1: don't see the name that you so badly want to see, 24 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:40,440 Speaker 1: or maybe it's a post on Facebook she loved Facebook 25 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:43,640 Speaker 1: that she would write every holiday season, and those things 26 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:47,640 Speaker 1: are all not there anymore. So it can be a 27 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:51,800 Speaker 1: really difficult thing to get through the season, and to 28 00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:55,840 Speaker 1: get through the holidays when you are losing that person 29 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:59,480 Speaker 1: or have lost that person I should say in your life. 30 00:02:00,440 --> 00:02:04,360 Speaker 1: I think that the holidays do make you think about 31 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:07,120 Speaker 1: people more that you lost, and they are described as 32 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:08,880 Speaker 1: the most wonderful time of the year. And I am 33 00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:12,959 Speaker 1: a holiday die hard. I love Christmas time so much 34 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:15,280 Speaker 1: and to me, it is the best time of the year. 35 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:17,720 Speaker 1: But it also can be a painful time of year 36 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:21,080 Speaker 1: for so many people. And that pain might come and 37 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:24,520 Speaker 1: go and ebbs and flows, but it exists and it's there. 38 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:29,760 Speaker 1: So the truth is that grief just doesn't take a holiday. 39 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:32,040 Speaker 1: I would love to be able to put it away 40 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,839 Speaker 1: and say leave me alone for the month. I want 41 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:38,679 Speaker 1: to just be happy and joyous and celibratory. And that's 42 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,359 Speaker 1: to say. All that's to say is I am not 43 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:44,160 Speaker 1: going to not be those things, because I am, but 44 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:48,760 Speaker 1: you do still feel the knife of pain every once 45 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:51,440 Speaker 1: in a while, to put it dramatically, that might come 46 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:55,760 Speaker 1: your way. So I think that there are ways to 47 00:02:55,960 --> 00:03:00,960 Speaker 1: honor your grief and make space for those moments so 48 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:03,640 Speaker 1: that they don't make you fall apart, and so that 49 00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 1: you don't feel completely debilitated when you're trying to be 50 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:10,639 Speaker 1: joyous and celibratory with friends and family. There's a way 51 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:14,800 Speaker 1: for all of that to exist grief, I think, at 52 00:03:14,919 --> 00:03:18,120 Speaker 1: least for me, I'm totally speaking from my experience. Grief 53 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:22,239 Speaker 1: eases when I let it exist. So when I allow 54 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:28,000 Speaker 1: myself to feel grief, it doesn't feel as painful as 55 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,560 Speaker 1: it does when I try to push it away, because 56 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:33,040 Speaker 1: I've been there and I've done that, and that's the worst. 57 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:36,520 Speaker 1: So when I allow it to sneak in and take 58 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:40,080 Speaker 1: over my body and then feel what I feel and 59 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:43,360 Speaker 1: then move on from it until the next time it hits, 60 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,400 Speaker 1: that's when I feel like I can process it in 61 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:51,280 Speaker 1: the best way possible. So here are some ways that 62 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:54,760 Speaker 1: I don't know can make your grief feel a little 63 00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:58,120 Speaker 1: bit less heavy this holiday season. And again, these are 64 00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 1: things that work for me, so I hope this can 65 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,720 Speaker 1: be helpful. I'm not this all knowing guru, but I 66 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:05,440 Speaker 1: think that I know these help me feel like I 67 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:08,920 Speaker 1: can be my strongest when I need to get through 68 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:16,760 Speaker 1: those tougher times. The first thing is set boundaries. Set boundaries. 69 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:19,719 Speaker 1: There's a lot of demands during the holidays. Can you 70 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:21,880 Speaker 1: come to my Christmas party? Can you come to this 71 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:25,080 Speaker 1: luncheon there's a company event, or if I have company 72 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:27,440 Speaker 1: events where people are in town and they want to 73 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:31,600 Speaker 1: see you. There's so much obligation and so many things 74 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,640 Speaker 1: to do during the holiday season that if you're having 75 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:37,600 Speaker 1: a bad day or you're just not feeling up for it, 76 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:40,120 Speaker 1: it's okay to say no. It is okay. It is 77 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:42,880 Speaker 1: one hundred percent okay to say no instead of saying 78 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:45,360 Speaker 1: yes and going to something where you're then going to 79 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:48,599 Speaker 1: fall apart, because that's not fair to you and you 80 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:50,960 Speaker 1: don't want to be put in that position. So set 81 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,440 Speaker 1: those boundaries. Know that if you are having an off 82 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:55,240 Speaker 1: day and you just need to kind of be in 83 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:59,000 Speaker 1: your private space and deal with what you're dealing with, 84 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:01,600 Speaker 1: then do that, because then hopefully you'll wake up the 85 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:03,760 Speaker 1: next day and feel much better, and then you can 86 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:07,040 Speaker 1: go be celibratory or do something joyous with the people 87 00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:09,680 Speaker 1: you want, but don't beat yourself up. If you're having 88 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,880 Speaker 1: one bad day and just need to be home, or 89 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:15,520 Speaker 1: two bad days, it's okay. It's okay, and it's important 90 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:18,280 Speaker 1: to set those boundaries. You absolutely have to do it. 91 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:23,599 Speaker 1: I think creating a ritual of remembrance is also really 92 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:26,320 Speaker 1: special and important, and that's helped me. So there's a 93 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:29,560 Speaker 1: gorgeous church on my street and I've gone in a 94 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:32,479 Speaker 1: few times and I've lit candles for Joanna, and that's 95 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:35,599 Speaker 1: my mentor, and it just makes me feel close to her. 96 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:38,600 Speaker 1: It makes me feel like she's with me. It makes 97 00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:41,640 Speaker 1: me feel like I'm honoring her. It makes me feel 98 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:44,719 Speaker 1: like I'm keeping her memory alive. So I think finding 99 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:47,760 Speaker 1: a ritual that allows you to remember the person in 100 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:52,120 Speaker 1: your life is really important. I even lit a candle 101 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:54,360 Speaker 1: in Milan when I was in Italy not too long ago, 102 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:56,520 Speaker 1: for her. So that ritual for me, brings me a 103 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:59,039 Speaker 1: lot of comfort and peace. It really does. But it 104 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:01,760 Speaker 1: can be anything. It can be an ornament that you 105 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:05,040 Speaker 1: hang to honor this person on your tree every year 106 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:06,840 Speaker 1: and you look at it and it just makes you smile. 107 00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:09,240 Speaker 1: Maybe it's cooking a meal that makes you think of 108 00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:12,000 Speaker 1: this person, or that you know this person loved so 109 00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:15,680 Speaker 1: very much. I think the point of this is not 110 00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:19,440 Speaker 1: to dwell necessarily, but to honor, and honoring somebody is 111 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:23,279 Speaker 1: a really beautiful thing. So yeah, I'm smiling right now 112 00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:26,160 Speaker 1: thinking about the candles I've lit for Joanna, and in fact, 113 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,640 Speaker 1: I want to go light another one. I'm feeling very inspired. 114 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:32,880 Speaker 1: I think it's also really important to confide in someone, 115 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:34,600 Speaker 1: to lean on someone. And I'm going to be really 116 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:37,520 Speaker 1: vulnerable with you in telling you that I have a 117 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:39,600 Speaker 1: hard time with this. I have a very hard time 118 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:43,920 Speaker 1: showing what I perceive as weakness, and it's not weakness. 119 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:45,920 Speaker 1: We all know that it's not weakness to be a 120 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:49,440 Speaker 1: human and feel, and that's something I work through. I 121 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:53,080 Speaker 1: just never want to necessarily dump my problems or feelings 122 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:55,599 Speaker 1: on someone else. And that's such a ridiculous way to think, 123 00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:58,960 Speaker 1: because that's what friends are for. They are there for 124 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:00,960 Speaker 1: you to vent too. And I am very blessed that 125 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:02,920 Speaker 1: I have some incredible people in my life who have 126 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,480 Speaker 1: lifted me up when I need it at most. And 127 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:09,040 Speaker 1: it's okay to confide in someone and say I'm really 128 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:11,880 Speaker 1: having a hard time. I in fact just did that 129 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:14,920 Speaker 1: with Geo, where he didn't realize I'm still kind of 130 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:18,280 Speaker 1: struggling with the loss of Joanna because I don't vocalize 131 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:21,000 Speaker 1: it a lot, and I just kind of had a 132 00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 1: little mini breakdown and it caught him by surprise, I think, 133 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:26,880 Speaker 1: because he would hope that I open up about when 134 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:29,600 Speaker 1: I'm feeling sad. That's what he's for, right, He's so 135 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:32,080 Speaker 1: supportive and amazing, But it's my own thing that I 136 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:35,119 Speaker 1: have to work through, and I just, for whatever reason, 137 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,520 Speaker 1: wasn't opening up about her or my aunt too sick, 138 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:39,640 Speaker 1: and it all hit me at once and I had 139 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:42,840 Speaker 1: a breakdown. So to avoid having those breakdowns, I think 140 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:46,800 Speaker 1: it's really important to confide in somebody and talk things 141 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,560 Speaker 1: through in real time as are happening, so that you 142 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,560 Speaker 1: don't feel the weight of the world or I should say, 143 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:54,560 Speaker 1: the weight of grief on your shoulders at all times, 144 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:57,000 Speaker 1: because that is a really hard thing to feel, and 145 00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:59,720 Speaker 1: we don't deserve to feel that. It's not fair to 146 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,960 Speaker 1: our and our being, not at all. I think it's 147 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:09,200 Speaker 1: also really important to say that you should you should 148 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:14,880 Speaker 1: give yourself permission to feel both joy and sorrow. They 149 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:22,440 Speaker 1: can coexist. Sometimes you feel guilty for feeling happiness when 150 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:26,120 Speaker 1: you think you should be mourning right or sometimes you 151 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:31,520 Speaker 1: feel annoy that you're feeling sadness so much when you 152 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:34,600 Speaker 1: should be feeling joy for the other blessings in your life. 153 00:08:34,800 --> 00:08:38,960 Speaker 1: Both can exist, and it's okay for them to both exist. 154 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,760 Speaker 1: There's a world where they both very much do exist. 155 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:44,960 Speaker 1: And I don't think we have to always pretend like 156 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:48,440 Speaker 1: it's either one or the other. No, it's both. That's 157 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:51,720 Speaker 1: human and that's okay. So allow yourself that grace to 158 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:54,839 Speaker 1: feel that, because you're entitled to that, and nobody can 159 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,080 Speaker 1: tell you when that grief should end or when that 160 00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:00,640 Speaker 1: grief shouldn't end. It's it's important to not beat yourself 161 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:03,600 Speaker 1: up crying about something one day. It doesn't mean you're broken, 162 00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:06,040 Speaker 1: it means you're human. And then, like I said earlier, 163 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:08,360 Speaker 1: you hopefully pick yourself up and carry on and have 164 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:12,320 Speaker 1: another great day after that, because that's what happens. There's 165 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:15,320 Speaker 1: waves when you're grieving someone. So it's okay to feel 166 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:17,240 Speaker 1: both of those things. I think that's a really important 167 00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:20,559 Speaker 1: thing to note. I also think taking care of yourself 168 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:23,680 Speaker 1: is so important we forget to do that so often, right, 169 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:26,640 Speaker 1: and when you're really feeling grief, take care of yourself. 170 00:09:26,679 --> 00:09:29,040 Speaker 1: And I'm guilty of this too, Like I told you all, 171 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:31,800 Speaker 1: I'm not perfect. I get stuck in the work cycle 172 00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:34,520 Speaker 1: and that fifteen minute walk I wanted to do to 173 00:09:34,559 --> 00:09:36,880 Speaker 1: clear my mind when I'm feeling a little heavy or 174 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:39,120 Speaker 1: full of grief, I don't take and then I feel worse. 175 00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:43,120 Speaker 1: You know, Go on that walk, Go do that workout class, 176 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:46,320 Speaker 1: Go schedule FaceTime with your best friend. Do the things 177 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:49,920 Speaker 1: that feed your soul and that bring you peace, especially 178 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,320 Speaker 1: when you're grieving. You have to take care of yourself. 179 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:54,240 Speaker 1: And I know so many of you are working your 180 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,880 Speaker 1: butts off and you have families and you're always taking 181 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:59,440 Speaker 1: care of other people. But you can't fully take care 182 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:01,600 Speaker 1: of other people if you don't take care of yourself. 183 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:04,280 Speaker 1: So try to get a little bit more sleep, try 184 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:06,440 Speaker 1: to eat the foods that make you feel good, because 185 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:08,960 Speaker 1: you deserve that. You deserve that, and when you don't 186 00:10:08,960 --> 00:10:11,160 Speaker 1: have all of that, it intensifies your grief because you're 187 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:16,160 Speaker 1: feeling overworked and exhausted and mentally depleted. So you really 188 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,280 Speaker 1: want to try to practice as much self care as 189 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,280 Speaker 1: you can, because that's how you can show up for 190 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:23,800 Speaker 1: yourself in the best way possible and other people. And 191 00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:28,400 Speaker 1: I think that Lastly, if there's a tradition this holiday 192 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:32,120 Speaker 1: season that's just too painful for you to participate in, 193 00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:35,800 Speaker 1: don't It's okay. You can take a year off. No 194 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:38,120 Speaker 1: one says you have to do the same thing every year. 195 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:40,520 Speaker 1: If it reminds you too much of somebody and it's 196 00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:43,120 Speaker 1: too painful and the grief is too hard, switch it up. 197 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:44,800 Speaker 1: Say you know what, I'm going to put that one 198 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:47,199 Speaker 1: away for now. I'm going to start a new tradition. 199 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:50,320 Speaker 1: Whatever that tradition may be, whatever you decide you want 200 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:52,480 Speaker 1: it to be, and maybe that's part of honoring the person. 201 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:56,000 Speaker 1: But start a new tradition, that's okay. There are no rules. 202 00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:59,440 Speaker 1: You cannot put the pressure on yourself to be this 203 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:02,680 Speaker 1: warrior or when you're not feeling that way, honor and 204 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:06,800 Speaker 1: acknowledge your feelings. It's something I'm working on because Lord 205 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:10,480 Speaker 1: knows I need help doing that. It's it's just so 206 00:11:10,559 --> 00:11:14,280 Speaker 1: important for you. I guess I want to wrap up 207 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:18,559 Speaker 1: by saying that if you're feeling grief this holiday season, 208 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:26,760 Speaker 1: it's not a sign that you're failing or it's not 209 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:31,160 Speaker 1: a sign that you're, you know, doing a bad job. 210 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:35,000 Speaker 1: It's a sign that you're human. And grief is a 211 00:11:35,040 --> 00:11:39,160 Speaker 1: sign that you have loved somebody so incredibly much in 212 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:44,400 Speaker 1: your life that them not being here is painful. And 213 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:47,760 Speaker 1: that's okay. It's okay to feel that. I certainly feel it. 214 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:50,600 Speaker 1: I feel it every day in some way, shape or form. 215 00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:54,840 Speaker 1: I tremendously feel the loss of this person in my 216 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:58,000 Speaker 1: life because of how pivotal she was to me. And 217 00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,440 Speaker 1: that's okay. It doesn't mean I'm doing a bad job 218 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:03,720 Speaker 1: at life or that I'm dwelling in negativity. That is grief. 219 00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:07,080 Speaker 1: But hopefully you can pick yourself up and have a 220 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:09,120 Speaker 1: better day the next day, and that when those waves 221 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,520 Speaker 1: of grief come at you, you can handle it, maybe 222 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,600 Speaker 1: a little gentler or a little better. With some of 223 00:12:14,640 --> 00:12:18,480 Speaker 1: the things I talked about today, we all miss the 224 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:20,880 Speaker 1: people in our lives that are no longer here. The 225 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:25,400 Speaker 1: holidays make us think of them, and I think that 226 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:28,800 Speaker 1: as long as we honor those memories and hold those 227 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:32,880 Speaker 1: people close, that's all we can do. And all we 228 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:34,920 Speaker 1: can do is the best we can do, and that's that. 229 00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:39,400 Speaker 1: But just remember to be human. It's okay. It's okay 230 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:41,320 Speaker 1: to be human. I have to remind myself of that 231 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:43,800 Speaker 1: all the time. It is okay to be human this 232 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:47,800 Speaker 1: holiday season and feel the things you feel, let yourself 233 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:51,400 Speaker 1: feel them, and hopefully you have some great days mixed 234 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:53,680 Speaker 1: in with the days where the grief is a little 235 00:12:53,679 --> 00:12:56,880 Speaker 1: bit heavier. I feel you, I see you. I hope 236 00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:59,080 Speaker 1: that if you're grieving this holiday season, you can still 237 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:02,240 Speaker 1: find some time to enjoy the joyous things about it 238 00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:04,560 Speaker 1: and lean on the people that make you feel safe 239 00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:07,480 Speaker 1: and secure because they got you, and I hope you 240 00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:14,800 Speaker 1: know that I got you after listening to this I've 241 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:18,160 Speaker 1: Never Said This Before is hosted by Me Tommy Dedario. 242 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:23,080 Speaker 1: This podcast is executive produced by Andrew Puglisi at iHeartRadio 243 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:27,520 Speaker 1: and by Me Tommy, with editing by Joshua Colaudney. I've 244 00:13:27,559 --> 00:13:29,959 Speaker 1: Never Said This Before is part of the Elvis Duran 245 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:34,320 Speaker 1: podcast Network on iHeart Podcasts. For more, rate review and 246 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:37,319 Speaker 1: subscribe to our show and if you liked this episode, 247 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:40,880 Speaker 1: tell your friends. Until next time, I'm Tommy de Dario.