1
00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:06,880
Speaker 1: You don't hear me confession, I can't take back our arms.

2
00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:13,280
Speaker 1: Mouse speaker text to seventy eighty five ninety two says

3
00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:16,639
Speaker 1: I had no idea old sitcoms were taped in front

4
00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:19,079
Speaker 1: of actual live studio audiences.

5
00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:19,639
Speaker 2: Yeah.

6
00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:23,239
Speaker 1: When I used to watch shows and I heard people laughing,

7
00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:26,720
Speaker 1: I thought that was the rest of the world at home,

8
00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:31,160
Speaker 1: laughing into their TVs. So I used to laugh extra

9
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:34,400
Speaker 1: hard right into the speakers so they could hear me too.

10
00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:37,440
Speaker 3: I like that, I mean, I like this. She still

11
00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:39,680
Speaker 3: wanted to be the center of attention.

12
00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:43,120
Speaker 1: That is not how television works. I would have discovered

13
00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:46,360
Speaker 1: a long time ago with this last. Yeah, only radio

14
00:00:46,440 --> 00:00:49,120
Speaker 1: works that way. We can hear you laughing in your

15
00:00:49,159 --> 00:00:51,640
Speaker 1: cars right now, so make sure to laugh directly into

16
00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:54,880
Speaker 1: your dashboard as one of our listeners shares their confession

17
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:57,600
Speaker 1: here on the mass speaker. And today's caller who's ready

18
00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:59,760
Speaker 1: to hear the world laugh with him is a man.

19
00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:02,240
Speaker 1: You sing the fake name Eric, So Eric, welcome to

20
00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:02,640
Speaker 1: the show.

21
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,200
Speaker 4: Hey, thank you guys, appreciate it.

22
00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:08,880
Speaker 3: Eric. Is your confession funny? Because if it's something really sad,

23
00:01:08,959 --> 00:01:10,240
Speaker 3: this is a terrible.

24
00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:13,800
Speaker 4: No, it's not about dead dogs. Dying or something like that.

25
00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:17,080
Speaker 1: Okay, that's totally what I thought it was going to

26
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:20,279
Speaker 1: be about. So thank god, we're ready to hear whatever

27
00:01:20,319 --> 00:01:22,680
Speaker 1: it is. Voice changer is on. You are the mass speaker.

28
00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:24,800
Speaker 1: When you're ready, let's hear your confession.

29
00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:26,640
Speaker 4: Okay.

30
00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:30,520
Speaker 2: So about five years ago, around COVID time, we were

31
00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:35,280
Speaker 2: all locked inside our houses, right, and my wife developed

32
00:01:35,319 --> 00:01:39,560
Speaker 2: this obsession with ordering tons of stuff on Amazon.

33
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:41,600
Speaker 3: Okay, so do the rest of the world. Yeah, it's

34
00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:43,600
Speaker 3: a very big right, minted before.

35
00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:46,399
Speaker 4: She was born.

36
00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:51,560
Speaker 5: She just started buying like Panini presses, backcratchers.

37
00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:53,920
Speaker 1: You convince yourself you need those things.

38
00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:55,520
Speaker 3: That's the year all the hobbies came about.

39
00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:58,520
Speaker 1: I mean, and a Panini presser that really ups your

40
00:01:58,520 --> 00:01:59,120
Speaker 1: sandwich game.

41
00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:02,240
Speaker 3: She's not gonna lie. Why is it so much better smash?

42
00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:05,680
Speaker 4: It really is just chunky, just really.

43
00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:07,400
Speaker 1: Don't need Yeah, you don't need it, but it is

44
00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:07,960
Speaker 1: kind of nice.

45
00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:10,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know. So all these boxes were arriving to

46
00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:12,560
Speaker 3: your house, which is a page yeah yeah.

47
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:17,560
Speaker 4: And it continued on for like a while, and as her.

48
00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:20,480
Speaker 5: Husband, you know, I love her to death, but I

49
00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:23,200
Speaker 5: tried talking to her and saying like, look, can we

50
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,919
Speaker 5: like relax on our spending.

51
00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:26,600
Speaker 2: Yeah.

52
00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:29,040
Speaker 1: Women love that conversation.

53
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:33,760
Speaker 3: And then she left you. I mean, the thing is,

54
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:35,880
Speaker 3: it's your credit card debt together, so.

55
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:37,960
Speaker 2: To bring it.

56
00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:40,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, what did she say when you asked her to

57
00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:41,639
Speaker 1: cut back on it?

58
00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:44,000
Speaker 5: I'm pretty sure all the women in the room can

59
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:47,720
Speaker 5: identify She's like, oh, yeah, sure, whatever, No, I.

60
00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:52,160
Speaker 3: Can't identify it. That's generalization that I don't appreciate. But

61
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,160
Speaker 3: you can continue.

62
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,120
Speaker 1: She think like she was going to go along with it,

63
00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:57,519
Speaker 1: but was like, well, yeah, sure whatever.

64
00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:00,280
Speaker 5: Now she didn't go along with anything. COVID ended and

65
00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:01,120
Speaker 5: it didn't stop.

66
00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:03,880
Speaker 3: Oh my god, she's got like a shopping addiction on

67
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:04,560
Speaker 3: my Yeah.

68
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,200
Speaker 4: I mean she made me feel like, oh, it's been

69
00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:08,000
Speaker 4: a couple of days since I bought something.

70
00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,560
Speaker 3: And she's like yeah.

71
00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:11,800
Speaker 5: And I'd say, you look, honey, do we really really

72
00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:14,160
Speaker 5: need an outdoor smart thermometer?

73
00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:14,960
Speaker 4: I mean, come on.

74
00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:19,840
Speaker 1: A smart one, and she.

75
00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:22,919
Speaker 5: Was she was so adimant, like, we don't need this,

76
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,760
Speaker 5: but the discount was just too good not to buy it.

77
00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:29,280
Speaker 3: You're really not winning any of these discussions.

78
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:33,920
Speaker 1: He's married, Okay.

79
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:37,480
Speaker 5: However, However, I did figure out a way to stop

80
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:42,080
Speaker 5: her by being sneaky and This is probably why I

81
00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:45,200
Speaker 5: think I need my voice change, because I really really

82
00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:47,280
Speaker 5: don't want people to know I did this.

83
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:49,760
Speaker 3: You're bite people. You mean your.

84
00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:52,680
Speaker 5: Wife, happy wife, happy life.

85
00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:53,840
Speaker 4: She doesn't need to know I did this.

86
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:55,520
Speaker 1: Okay, what did you do?

87
00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:56,400
Speaker 4: So?

88
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:59,800
Speaker 5: I wrote a fake letter from her h o A

89
00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:04,760
Speaker 5: and it basically said each family member was being limited

90
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:08,680
Speaker 5: to five cardboard boxes per recycle bin every week.

91
00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:12,080
Speaker 3: I thought you were just going to like cancel the

92
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:13,600
Speaker 3: Amazon subject.

93
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:18,640
Speaker 5: Prime also putting a letter that you know, we went

94
00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:20,680
Speaker 5: over this limit, we'd be fined.

95
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,920
Speaker 4: So I end up mailing it to our mailbox.

96
00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:29,400
Speaker 5: She was kind of resistant at first, so I had

97
00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:31,880
Speaker 5: if I had my buddy swing by secretly and put

98
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,880
Speaker 5: a tag on a recycle bin and a note said, hey,

99
00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:37,880
Speaker 5: you went over your five cardboard box limit. This is

100
00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:40,680
Speaker 5: your only warning. Next violation, you're going to be fined

101
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:46,000
Speaker 5: on a box first. I know, I know, it's crazy,

102
00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:46,560
Speaker 5: that's crazy.

103
00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:52,400
Speaker 3: It actually is believable that the nature would do. There'd

104
00:04:52,400 --> 00:04:54,960
Speaker 3: be an HOA officer that's actually counting people's boxes.

105
00:04:56,520 --> 00:05:00,360
Speaker 1: Oh man, you got your buddy in to help you

106
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:02,280
Speaker 1: lie to your wife, essentially.

107
00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:05,880
Speaker 5: And she believed hook line and sinker, and she cut

108
00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:08,200
Speaker 5: back to buying only five things a week instead of

109
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:09,360
Speaker 5: fifteen to twenty.

110
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:13,800
Speaker 1: Wow, crazy lined up for the next four years. Now

111
00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,919
Speaker 1: she's like five things this week and next week.

112
00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:21,520
Speaker 5: And yeah, what's you gotta do in prime day hits?

113
00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:23,760
Speaker 4: It's buy sometimes.

114
00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:26,920
Speaker 5: She asked if they've lifted the restriction when the box

115
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,839
Speaker 5: lin and I said, you know what, let me do this.

116
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,000
Speaker 5: Let me go to the meeting and I'll find out.

117
00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:34,760
Speaker 3: Good husband, I think you should make it one box.

118
00:05:34,839 --> 00:05:38,960
Speaker 3: But there's no reason that is crazy.

119
00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:41,279
Speaker 1: What do they say at the ho A meetings that

120
00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:42,440
Speaker 1: you definitely attend.

121
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:43,560
Speaker 4: I couldn't tell.

122
00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,680
Speaker 5: You what they said because instead I just usually hit

123
00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:47,880
Speaker 5: the bar, go play pickleball, and I come back and

124
00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:49,360
Speaker 5: I say, nope, same deal.

125
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:54,200
Speaker 4: But hud for you. I really argued for you.

126
00:05:54,520 --> 00:05:57,560
Speaker 3: It'll be in so much trouble if you get caught. Yeah,

127
00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,680
Speaker 3: there's a lot of wine and.

128
00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:02,400
Speaker 4: I can get that. But look, here's the best part.

129
00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:04,920
Speaker 5: I saved a ton of money and it helped us

130
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:06,200
Speaker 5: pay for a trip to Portugal.

131
00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:08,159
Speaker 4: And guess what we're leaving in two months?

132
00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:12,000
Speaker 1: Oh woh whoa you get on the plane. They're like, sir,

133
00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:16,880
Speaker 1: you're only limited a one bag yeah, She's.

134
00:06:16,760 --> 00:06:18,239
Speaker 3: Like, did you talk to my ah away?

135
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:21,040
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Eric, I don't know.

136
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,200
Speaker 3: You solved the problem. You may have created a bigger

137
00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:26,039
Speaker 3: one down the road for yet, but you.

138
00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:27,960
Speaker 1: Get a ton of sneaky points for us. If we

139
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,680
Speaker 1: hand out sneaky points on this show, you get the most,

140
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:34,320
Speaker 1: so enjoy those. Thank you for confessing and texting in

141
00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,000
Speaker 1: the seven eighty five nine to two. If you have

142
00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:38,039
Speaker 1: a confession you've been holding on to, we can hide

143
00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:40,200
Speaker 1: your identity, mask your voice, and make you our next

144
00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:40,839
Speaker 1: mass speaker.

145
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:42,840
Speaker 4: Brook and Jeffrey in the morning