WEBVTT - How to Protect and Build Wealth After Divorce

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<v Speaker 2>So let me ask you this switching gears huh. But

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<v Speaker 2>also important conversation when it comes to wealth. I know,

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<v Speaker 2>you know in your life everybody has challenges. You went

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<v Speaker 2>through a divorce. Oh yeah, so talk about how you

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<v Speaker 2>can navigate keeping your wealth after a divorce.

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<v Speaker 3>I love that, you know, And uh ra shad, that's

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<v Speaker 3>a book I actually want to write. It's I kind

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<v Speaker 3>of become a millionaire after divorce because you know, divorce

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<v Speaker 3>wipes out people financially. It's a complete reset. And you

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<v Speaker 3>know I went through a divorce. You know kind of

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<v Speaker 3>at a worse time, at a worse time when you know,

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<v Speaker 3>my business was in two thousand and two, two thousand

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<v Speaker 3>and three was the big dot com bust, and I

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<v Speaker 3>was into consulting big. I used to work for Delitten,

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<v Speaker 3>Ernst and Young and I and I was on my

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<v Speaker 3>own at that time, and clients didn't want to see

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<v Speaker 3>a consultant after Y two K. They're like, we're tired

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<v Speaker 3>of spending all this money on advice. And you know,

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<v Speaker 3>Y two K wasn't as big as it was, and

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<v Speaker 3>the dot com isn't as big as it was supposed

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<v Speaker 3>to be. So business was tough. I mean two thousand

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<v Speaker 3>and two, two thousand and three and I was in

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<v Speaker 3>red ink, and that was the same time my ex wife,

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<v Speaker 3>my son's mothers, and I decide to go our separate ways,

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<v Speaker 3>and I was left for the half a million dollars

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<v Speaker 3>in debt from UH with Wills Argle Bank. My line

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<v Speaker 3>of credit was called because I was using my line

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<v Speaker 3>of credit to keep the business afloat. And so, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>so if you're getting a situation you find yourself getting divorced,

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<v Speaker 3>I think the first thing that you have to really

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<v Speaker 3>do is kind of focus on your offense, focus on

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<v Speaker 3>keeping your income strong, focus on your skills. And then

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<v Speaker 3>also you have to be steady about what you do

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<v Speaker 3>with your money because now you have less money to do.

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<v Speaker 3>And for me, I had to stop paying for my

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<v Speaker 3>son's college funds, you know, for a few years until

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<v Speaker 3>I resorted out my finances right. And my divorce you know,

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<v Speaker 3>caused me to sell my big house in Oakland Hills

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<v Speaker 3>and pretty much give her all the proceeds. But I

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<v Speaker 3>kept my apartment buildings. So if you have multiple assets

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<v Speaker 3>in your family, what I did with my ex wife,

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<v Speaker 3>I was like, okay, we've got this, we have this

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<v Speaker 3>equity in our house. I'm buying out my apartment buildings,

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<v Speaker 3>the ones I had in Jersey City back in two

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<v Speaker 3>thousand and three and in DC, right, So I bought

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<v Speaker 3>her out of those and held onto those, and there

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<v Speaker 3>was a year where I could even pay myself. So

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<v Speaker 3>people think I got a job and I get a divorce,

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<v Speaker 3>and that's bad, But think about being an entrepreneur getting

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<v Speaker 3>a divorce, having to split up half of your assets

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<v Speaker 3>and having to pay alimony and child support and trying

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<v Speaker 3>to figure out your life moving forward. But what was

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<v Speaker 3>really helpful Joy is about, was the fact that I

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<v Speaker 3>kept a frugal mindset and I was really responsible in

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<v Speaker 3>doing what I was supposed to do to my ex

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<v Speaker 3>wife and my kids. So I kept a frugal mindset

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<v Speaker 3>and I just went low to the ground.

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<v Speaker 1>Man.

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<v Speaker 3>People wouldn't have known it, but I was not spending

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<v Speaker 3>money on clothes. I wasn't spending money on anything. But

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<v Speaker 3>I held on to my investments, and in fact, I

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<v Speaker 3>figured out a way to convest more because I had assets.

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<v Speaker 3>So my advice to people going through that is to

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<v Speaker 3>develop this frugal mindset. You'll lay low and keep moving forward,

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<v Speaker 3>keep investing your way, and in time you'll see your

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<v Speaker 3>way out of it. And so and so that's really

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<v Speaker 3>really key. And one of the things, like I said,

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<v Speaker 3>that work for me was buying real estate in Jersey

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<v Speaker 3>City in two thousand and three. And if you guys

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<v Speaker 3>live in New York and know what's happening with Jersey City,

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<v Speaker 3>it's exploded, booming, it's booting, it's booming. So it's a

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<v Speaker 3>matter of basically, make sure you take care of your responsibility,

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<v Speaker 3>make sure you do what you have to do, continue

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<v Speaker 3>to invest, continue to work on your income, and you'll

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<v Speaker 3>dig your way out of it. But too many people

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<v Speaker 3>look at divorces saying I don't want to make no

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<v Speaker 3>more money because if I do, she's going to hit

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<v Speaker 3>me up for more child support. I'm like, don't punk out.

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<v Speaker 3>Just you be responsible, do what you have to do.

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<v Speaker 3>But get busy in your offense, Get busy building up

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<v Speaker 3>your income and continue to invest. And although it may

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<v Speaker 3>not feel like this, ten, fifteen, twenty years down the road,

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<v Speaker 3>like Steve Jobs connecting the dots looking forward, you'll see

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<v Speaker 3>that it worked out. My three boys graduated college, one

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<v Speaker 3>of them got as NBA and finance know, we have

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<v Speaker 3>a great relationship. My net worth is gone up probably,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, probably fifteen twenty times since then because I

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<v Speaker 3>didn't give up. And that's really what it's all about

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<v Speaker 3>about the pre nu Oh yeah, well yeah, I hate

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<v Speaker 3>to air my dirty laundry. But I've been married twice.

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<v Speaker 3>But anyway, so the first time I didn't have to

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<v Speaker 3>got divorced twice. I got divorced twice. That's the book.

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<v Speaker 3>That's the next book. Yeah, I've been divorced twice, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>which is interesting Rashad because my second wife, her and

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<v Speaker 3>I were really still good friends. She worked at my

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<v Speaker 3>company for a lot of years. She's a lawyer. And

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<v Speaker 3>what was interesting about is that we came into the

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<v Speaker 3>into the marriage unequally financially yield, which was challenging. Right,

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<v Speaker 3>my net worth is here. She was, you know, she

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<v Speaker 3>was about ten years younger than me, and.

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<v Speaker 1>She can you raise your hand a little high and

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<v Speaker 1>went under the screen.

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<v Speaker 3>My net worth was here and hers was down here.

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<v Speaker 3>So in the prenup, you know which that started. That

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<v Speaker 3>set the relationship off the wrong foot, right, Huh.

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<v Speaker 1>The prenup bore the imbalance in.

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<v Speaker 3>The prenup, which it often does, even though women say, well,

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<v Speaker 3>I'll gladly signed a prenup, that's no problem. Okay, Well,

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<v Speaker 3>I didn't really know what a prenup was. A lot

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<v Speaker 3>of people don't know what it really is. So I

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<v Speaker 3>went and hired an attorney through my recommendations, and my

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<v Speaker 3>attorney was putting my prenup together and we were getting

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<v Speaker 3>married and he was running behind on getting it done,

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<v Speaker 3>so it was kind of forcing some pressure there. So

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<v Speaker 3>by the time he delivered the prenup and her attorney

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<v Speaker 3>reviewed it, she was like, she felt like she really

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<v Speaker 3>couldn't trust me anymore. She already had doubts anyway, but

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<v Speaker 3>she really felt like she couldn't trust me. Because what

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<v Speaker 3>a prenup is is when you get married, there are

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<v Speaker 3>inalienable rights to a marriage that the state gives you right.

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<v Speaker 3>And so when you get a prenup, what it's saying is,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm waving my right to this, his income, I'm waving

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<v Speaker 3>my rights to this, his assets. I'm waving my rights

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<v Speaker 3>to all these things. And you're like, wait a minute,

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<v Speaker 3>it feels awkward. It's like I have a right for that,

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<v Speaker 3>and then now I'm giving it away. So a lot

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<v Speaker 3>of people it kind of blows their mind. Even though

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<v Speaker 3>there are concessions that says, well, if we got a

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<v Speaker 3>divorced by this time, you would get this, but hey,

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<v Speaker 3>you're a lawyer, you make good money. It's like, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>and you have a child and I got three boys.

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<v Speaker 3>So it was very, very difficult. And the moment that

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<v Speaker 3>we signed it, which was like it was supposed to

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<v Speaker 3>not be through duress, but it ended up being kind

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<v Speaker 3>of through dress because she waited until last minute right

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<v Speaker 3>before we got married. It just put the marriage on

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<v Speaker 3>the wrong foot. So after dating for ten years and

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<v Speaker 3>being married for five years, we ended up calling it

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<v Speaker 3>quits and my prenup, you know, it held. And so

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<v Speaker 3>what's interesting is about the prenup is like a lot

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<v Speaker 3>of people say they want until they read it and

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<v Speaker 3>their lawyers give them feedback, and it's difficult.

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<v Speaker 4>Then her lawyer wanted to go right, her lawyer wanted

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<v Speaker 4>to write my prenup. After that, she was like, oh no,

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<v Speaker 4>let me rewrite it. I was like, no, you can't

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<v Speaker 4>write a prenup to protect my assets, right, yeah, I'm

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<v Speaker 4>not going to go for that. So it's very complicated

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<v Speaker 4>and a lot of people struggle with that notion. But

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<v Speaker 4>look at it this way.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know if you can. I mean, I know

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<v Speaker 3>you guys have a one son or kid, and I

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<v Speaker 3>know Troy you have two or three kids. I was thinking, like,

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<v Speaker 3>I can't get a divorce you have two kids. Okay,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm sorry, list we married right right too. But the

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<v Speaker 3>whole point is like if I got a divorce to

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<v Speaker 3>my second wife and I because I had a will too,

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<v Speaker 3>because if I died, she was I was going to

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<v Speaker 3>give her twenty five percent of my assets. The other

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<v Speaker 3>seventy five percent was going to my son's. But if

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<v Speaker 3>I died and my assets went to her without a prenup,

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<v Speaker 3>then and my sons could have had a situation where

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<v Speaker 3>she wouldn't have paid for their college. My sons could

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<v Speaker 3>have been in a situation where they've got nothing. So

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<v Speaker 3>my rationale for a prenup was, you know, my sons

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<v Speaker 3>are everything to me. There's no in the word I'm

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<v Speaker 3>gonna work this hard and not like my dad say,

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<v Speaker 3>have them start from my shoulders, yep, not from the ground.

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<v Speaker 3>So I needed to make sure that they were taken

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<v Speaker 3>care of, and that was the crux of the peanup.

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<v Speaker 3>What's interesting is there's three sides of her peanup. There's

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<v Speaker 3>my I'm make sure my hands on the camera. There's

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<v Speaker 3>my assets, her assets and hours. And so how it

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<v Speaker 3>goes is my assets could continue to grow, right, and

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<v Speaker 3>I would still own them as long as they were

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<v Speaker 3>they were they were titled to me. And then her

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<v Speaker 3>assets would do the same thing, right, she had a

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<v Speaker 3>condo that would continue to grow. But if we titled

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<v Speaker 3>assets together, that's what we would split, and that's how

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<v Speaker 3>it was written. So we never really had any assets together.

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<v Speaker 3>So therefore we got a divorce. I kept my assets,

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<v Speaker 3>she kept hers, and I entered the concession part of

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<v Speaker 3>my prina. But it's an interesting thing, and it really

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<v Speaker 3>sometimes damages relationships because people start looking at you like

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<v Speaker 3>do you trust me or whatever. We end up divorce,

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<v Speaker 3>we end up good friends. She stayed in my company

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<v Speaker 3>for a lot of years. She's now a tech lawyer

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<v Speaker 3>for major government contracting businesses because she worked in my business.

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<v Speaker 3>And I raised her daughter like my daughter. So it's like,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, it's all good, but that's the challenge.

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<v Speaker 5>An illegal alien from Guatemala charged with raping a child

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<v Speaker 5>in Massachusetts. An MS thirteen gang member from El Salvador

0:11:44.720 --> 0:11:48.839
<v Speaker 5>accused of murdering a Texas man of Venezuelan charged with

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<v Speaker 5>filming and selling child pornography in Michigan. These are just

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<v Speaker 5>some of the heinous migrant criminals caught because of President

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<v Speaker 5>Donald J. Trump's leadership. I'm Christine Noman, the United State

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<v Speaker 5>Secretary of Homeland Security. Under President Trump, attempted illegal border

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<v Speaker 5>crossings are at the lowest levels ever recorded, and over

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<v Speaker 5>one hundred thousand illegal aliens have been arrested. If you

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<v Speaker 5>are here illegally, your next you will be fine. Nearly

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<v Speaker 5>one thousand dollars a day imprisoned and deported, you will

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<v Speaker 5>never return. But if you register using our CBP home

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<v Speaker 5>app and leave now, you could be allowed to return legally.

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<v Speaker 5>Do what's right. Leave now. Under President Trump America's laws,

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<v Speaker 5>border and families will be protected.

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<v Speaker 1>Sponsored by the United States Department of Homeland Security,