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Speaker 1: Raddy's never let me define my self worth based on

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Speaker 1: my success. So when I first started to experience success,

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Speaker 1: Raddy didn't celebrate it in the way I wanted her to,

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Speaker 1: and I would want. Look, I'd wanted my wife to

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Speaker 1: be my number one fan and my biggest cheerleader, and

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Speaker 1: she wasn't for my career. But I had to realize

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Speaker 1: if I skewed my perspective, she was for who I was,

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Speaker 1: So if it came to my character, that's what she

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Speaker 1: was back in. I think we all want to be

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Speaker 1: loved for who we are and not loved for what

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Speaker 1: we achieve.

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Speaker 2: I did start listening to a podcast last year. I mean, that's.

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Speaker 3: Hella Loves.

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Speaker 4: I'm Andrea Wards King, and that was Jay Shetty reflecting

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Speaker 4: on the true foundation of love. It's about choosing each

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Speaker 4: other every single day. Welcome to My Legacy, a podcast

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Speaker 4: hosted me, my husband, Martin Luther King, the third eldest

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Speaker 4: son of doctor Martin Luther King Junior, and Coretta Scott King,

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Speaker 4: and our good friends New York Times bestselling authors Mark

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Speaker 4: and Greg Kilberger. Today we're joined by Jay Shetty and

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Speaker 4: his incredible wife, Roddy dev Lukia You may think you

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Speaker 4: know Jay from his number one podcast, but Arti is

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Speaker 4: giving us a whole new look at the side of him.

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Speaker 3: The world rarely sees their love.

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Speaker 4: Their challenges, and the daily choices that make their marriage thrive. Today,

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Speaker 4: they give us a glimpse inside their relationship, sharing with

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Speaker 4: us the hard won lessons about communication, commitment, and how

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Speaker 4: to nurture love through life's toughest moments.

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Speaker 3: Let's dive in.

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Speaker 5: Welcome to My Legacy Podcast, where we explore what it

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Speaker 5: truly means to create a living legacy through our actions,

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Speaker 5: our choices, and the way we show up for others

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Speaker 5: every day. Ro honor to be joined by Jay Shetty,

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Speaker 5: global bestselling author and purpose driven entrepreneur whose wisdom on love, mindfulness,

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Speaker 5: and personal transformation has reached millions through his number one

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Speaker 5: podcast on Purpose Now. Of course, what makes My Legacy

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Speaker 5: Podcast unique is we don't just hear from extraordinary individuals.

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Speaker 5: We hear from their life partners, their friends, the people

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Speaker 5: who know them best. And we're beyond lucky because Jay

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Speaker 5: is joined today by his incredible wife, Roddi de Vlukia.

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Speaker 5: She is a nutritionist. She is a best selling author

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Speaker 5: of joy Full She is the host of her own podcast,

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Speaker 5: A Really Good Cry. I love that title. She's a

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Speaker 5: powerful force for wellness, for conscious living, and for joyful cooking.

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Speaker 5: Welcome to you.

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Speaker 2: Both, Thank you so much.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm so grateful to be back with you and

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Speaker 1: reunited with all of you. Thank you so much for

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Speaker 1: having us. We're so honored and so grateful. Truly, it

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Speaker 1: was such wonderful to be in your presence a year

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Speaker 1: ago now or is it even longer?

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Speaker 3: It was about a year ago, about a year.

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Speaker 1: Ago, So wonderful to be reunited, and I wish you

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Speaker 1: were meeting Rady in person too. Why we'll settle for this.

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Speaker 4: We must do dinner when we're all on the same

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Speaker 4: coast again.

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Speaker 1: We would love that absolutely, yes.

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Speaker 5: Yes, yes, well, Jay on that note, because we want

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Speaker 5: to know you over well gosh, probably a decade now,

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Speaker 5: but we don't know Rady as well. So if I

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Speaker 5: can put you on the spot, the two of you

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Speaker 5: have created this incredible relationship based on conscious living, on Purpose,

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Speaker 5: on joy. So how did you first meet this incredible

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Speaker 5: woman and how did you know that she was your person?

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Speaker 1: So the interesting thing is the first episode of my

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Speaker 1: podcast On Purpose ever was me and Rady telling this

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Speaker 1: story together. And I always wanted to start the show

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Speaker 1: at a really authentic, genuine, conscious place, and I thought,

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Speaker 1: why not do it with the person who knows me

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Speaker 1: best and knows me most. And so the long story,

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Speaker 1: short version is, I was in my final year of

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Speaker 1: college and I knew that I was going to become

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Speaker 1: a monk after I graduated, and I would go to

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Speaker 1: my local temple to serve and assist on the weekends

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Speaker 1: just to stay out of trouble. And when I was

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Speaker 1: doing that service, I was asked to show a woman

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Speaker 1: around who was around my mom's age, with different chores

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Speaker 1: and different practices at the temple. I'd never been asked

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Speaker 1: to do this before. This was the first time I

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Speaker 1: showed her around. She was very sweet, and then at

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Speaker 1: the end of it, she said to me, I have

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Speaker 1: a daughter that i'd love to introduce to spirituality and meditation.

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Speaker 1: And I said, well, I'm going to become a monk,

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Speaker 1: so I can introduce her to my younger sister who's

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Speaker 1: also involved in the community, and why don't you bring

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Speaker 1: her in? And so you know, that week she brought

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Speaker 1: her in and it happened to be my wife's mom,

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Speaker 1: and Raley was her daughter who came in and I

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Speaker 1: introduced Radi and my sister, and I remember seeing Rally

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Speaker 1: and thinking she was the most beautiful woman in the world,

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Speaker 1: and I thought, no, no, no, focus, focus, focus is

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Speaker 1: going to become a monk, and so I kind of

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Speaker 1: like shut it out. And then when I came back

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Speaker 1: from the monastery, Radi and my sister had become best friends,

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Speaker 1: and so my sister was our matchmaker. So that's how

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Speaker 1: we met, and then how I knew she was the one.

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Speaker 5: You know, it's really interesting.

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Speaker 1: Someone asked me this question recently, and I think I

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Speaker 1: gave at least what I believe to be a truthful

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Speaker 1: and honest answer, and is that I don't know if

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Speaker 1: you ever know. I think you commit and invest to

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Speaker 1: building something together, and you know because the other person

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Speaker 1: also wants to commit and build and invest in you,

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Speaker 1: and that's what makes them the one. And I really

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Speaker 1: believe that it's quite naive to think when you meet someone,

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Speaker 1: or when you move in with someone, or when you

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Speaker 1: marry someone, that this is going to be the person

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Speaker 1: you're with for three or four or five decades in

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Speaker 1: today's world, and so for me, I know that Radi's

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Speaker 1: the one because she invents every day today more than

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Speaker 1: even when we started. And that's something that I can

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Speaker 1: only discover today, and I couldn't have known twelve years

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Speaker 1: ago when we first got together, and nine years ago

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Speaker 1: when we got married, I couldn't have possibly known that.

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Speaker 1: And so I hope that freezes people up from this

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Speaker 1: pressure and expectation that I've got to find this person

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Speaker 1: on day one and know that they're going to be

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Speaker 1: perfect and the person. When I probably would have said

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Speaker 1: that twelve years ago if you asked me, like, I

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Speaker 1: found the one, I know it now when I look back,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I'm I'm lucky. She's proved me right,

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Speaker 1: but she very easily could have proved me wrong. And

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Speaker 1: so I'm very grateful that she's, you know, stood by

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Speaker 1: me through so many ups and downs and so many

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Speaker 1: incredible journeys that we've been on.

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Speaker 3: So roddy, I'm very very curious.

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Speaker 4: So you're at a temple and you see this wonderful

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Speaker 4: human being that was training to be a monk at

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Speaker 4: what was going through your mind when you first when

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Speaker 4: you first met him.

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Speaker 2: That's a really good question, you know, I he was

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Speaker 2: in like he was in white robes at the time,

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Speaker 2: weren't you. Yeah, he was training to be a monk.

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Speaker 2: He was in white robes. He knew my mom. It

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Speaker 2: was like a very odd situation. My mom was introducing us,

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Speaker 2: and so when I saw him, it was it was

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Speaker 2: interesting because he had like tattoos in monk clothes, was

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Speaker 2: a very like, well spoken person, where normally, in my mind,

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Speaker 2: a monk was someone who was from India and I,

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Speaker 2: you know, usually would have to speak to them in

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Speaker 2: another language. And so it was kind of changing a

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Speaker 2: lot of narratives in my mind of what I expected

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Speaker 2: to see when my mom was like, oh, I want

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Speaker 2: to introduce you to this monk. So I think I

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Speaker 2: was readjusting to my expectations. And then I mean I

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Speaker 2: started going to his classes and hearing him speak about spirituality,

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Speaker 2: and honestly, I think I felt in awe of him

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Speaker 2: through watching him in those spaces and in the community,

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Speaker 2: and you know, I ended up being an observer of

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Speaker 2: him rather than a friend at the beginning, because we

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Speaker 2: didn't really have a friendship or a relationship at all

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Speaker 2: when we first met. So it was quite nice seeing

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Speaker 2: him in his own environment doing something that he loved

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Speaker 2: and so at first it was almost like he had

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Speaker 2: He felt like a teacher and a guide more than

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Speaker 2: he felt like someone that I was thinking I could

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Speaker 2: be with. But then when I became friends with his

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Speaker 2: sister and she kept telling me all these amazing things

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Speaker 2: about him, I was like, Oh, he's so sweet and

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Speaker 2: they have the sweetest relationship he you know, he is

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Speaker 2: like a father figure to her, and she loves him

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Speaker 2: so much. And I thought, well, someone who's got that

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Speaker 2: relationship with their sister, and usually your sibling has the

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Speaker 2: best and worst things to say about you, And she

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Speaker 2: just loved him so much. And so there was moments

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Speaker 2: where you know, I kept saying to I was like,

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Speaker 2: you know, I think every like your brother, and she

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Speaker 2: was like, you can't. He's going to be a monk

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Speaker 2: for the rest of his life. I leave him alone.

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Speaker 2: She was like, I need you to leave him, please. Yeah, please,

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Speaker 2: I'm just telling you he wants to be a monk forever.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, I kind of gave up on that idea.

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Speaker 2: And so as soon as he came out from being

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Speaker 2: a monk and we got to know each other, we

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Speaker 2: both just realized how how right we ended up being

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Speaker 2: about each other, as he said, And it was a

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Speaker 2: nice surprise because it could have gone both ways.

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Speaker 4: You know, I love that she said fell in awe

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Speaker 4: rather than fell in love. I don't think I've ever

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Speaker 4: really heard that. That's a beautiful Yes, yes, it fell

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Speaker 4: in awe.

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Speaker 1: But the one thing she left out was that she

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Speaker 1: usually tells a bit like you didn't you didn't clarify

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Speaker 1: that actually when we first met, you just didn't notice me.

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Speaker 3: And I didn't like, just yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well I did notice you. I just wasn't like. It

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Speaker 2: wasn't like my mom saying, hey, here's someone for you

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Speaker 2: to meet in that way, Hey, here's a monk from.

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Speaker 3: Him, here's a monk.

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Speaker 4: Every great journey begins with the foundation that we come from,

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Speaker 4: the people who raised us, those who you know, sewed

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Speaker 4: into us, the people who believed in us. So, Jay,

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Speaker 4: who were the most influential people in your life in

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Speaker 4: your childhood, and what would you say are some of

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Speaker 4: the biggest lessons that they passed on to you.

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Speaker 1: That's such an interesting question. I feel I was very,

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Speaker 1: very fortunate that the most influential people in my life

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Speaker 1: became people I discovered through autobiographies and biographies. So and

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Speaker 1: that's because I think I was the eldest and I

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Speaker 1: kind of was a bit rebellious, so I didn't really

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Speaker 1: fit in, and I don't think I was getting that

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Speaker 1: much great advice from my family or extended family. And

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Speaker 1: I fell in love with I mean, you know, I

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Speaker 1: think I mentioned this to you when we first met.

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Speaker 1: I fell in love with the writings of Dr Martin

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Speaker 1: Luther King. I fell in love with Malcolm X. I

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Speaker 1: fell in love with Dwayne the Rock Johnson and David Beckham.

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Speaker 1: So my reading, my reading spectrum was fairly wide, but

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Speaker 1: I was reading the biographies and autobiographies and writings of

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Speaker 1: all of these individuals, and so there were pop culture

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Speaker 1: icons like David Beckham and Draine the Rock Johnson, and

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Speaker 1: then these incredible history oracle figures to me in Martin

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Speaker 1: Luther King and in Malcolm X. And that really truly

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Speaker 1: became the basis of the advice in my life. I

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Speaker 1: really really believed that I associated with these people through

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Speaker 1: their writing. I really believed that they became my wise advisors.

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Speaker 1: They became my board of directors, and they became the

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Speaker 1: people that I turned to in times of difficulty because

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Speaker 1: they'd been through so much so much more than i'd

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Speaker 1: ever even have to fathom going through. And so there

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Speaker 1: felt to be an incredible strength in that. And I

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Speaker 1: think because my dad was fairly aloof and disconnected from

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Speaker 1: me when I was young, it really gave me a

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Speaker 1: freedom to look for that. And now I look back,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't know this then, but I assume I

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Speaker 1: was looking for male role models at the time, more

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Speaker 1: people that I could hold onto. So it's no surprise

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Speaker 1: that all the books I was reading were men. And

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Speaker 1: at the same time, my monk teachers, who I really

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Speaker 1: do see as father figures to me as well, have

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Speaker 1: become incredible pillar in my life. And I'm really grateful

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Speaker 1: to my dad for that. You know, I think a

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Speaker 1: lot of people may feel that if their parents are

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Speaker 1: slightly disconnected or aloof, it can be a bad thing.

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Speaker 1: For me, it was great. I got to become the

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Speaker 1: man I wanted to be. I got to build an

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Speaker 1: image of who I wanted to be, and I got

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Speaker 1: to choose the people that I really aspired to learn

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Speaker 1: from and gain from and gain insight from. And so

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Speaker 1: those individuals, whether it was reading about how David Beckham

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Speaker 1: on a Friday night would tie a car tire in

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Speaker 1: the top hand corner of a goalpost and practice taking

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Speaker 1: free kicks while all his friends were out drinking and

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Speaker 1: partying and all the rest of it. Or whether it

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Speaker 1: was talking about drained the Rock, Johnson's challenges with depression

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Speaker 1: and finding himself, or whether, of course it was the

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Speaker 1: incredible work of Martin Luther King and Malcolm X. It

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Speaker 1: was just fascinating to gain insight from what I believe

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Speaker 1: to be some of the most powerful, incredible and beautiful

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Speaker 1: people who walked the earth.

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Speaker 4: That's so amazing and it resonates so deeply with me

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Speaker 4: because you all know how much I love reading. I'm

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Speaker 4: a I love love reading. And I don't know if

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Speaker 4: we talked about this Jay when we were together, but

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Speaker 4: when I was a little girl in elementary school, I

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Speaker 4: spent a lot of time in the library.

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Speaker 3: Of my school and I read. I mean I went

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Speaker 3: through almost.

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Speaker 4: The entire autobiography and biography section of my school.

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Speaker 3: I got special awards for that.

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Speaker 4: So I really resonate with that, like you know, taking

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Speaker 4: bits and pieces of I always found inspiration in people's stories.

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Speaker 5: Well we can testify to this because you two haven't

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Speaker 5: I don't think yet been to the King's house. We

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Speaker 5: got to make this happen though. But you've got the

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Speaker 5: amazing shoe closet that's full of books.

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Speaker 3: Books.

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Speaker 2: I love it.

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Speaker 3: I love it.

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Speaker 6: Not just a shoe closet, it's everywhere. You just kind

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Speaker 6: of walk in and you're goneer knowledge. You don't even

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Speaker 6: have to open.

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Speaker 4: Although Martin hates traveling with me and with the with

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Speaker 4: my with my book.

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Speaker 1: Heavy Lift, that's so true. When we moved to New

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Speaker 1: York nine years ago, I had one suit I only

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Speaker 1: had like two suitcases with me, and one of them

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Speaker 1: was full of clothes and things like that, and the

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Speaker 1: other one was completely full of books. Yes, and that's

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Speaker 1: that's how we traveled. And I was like, no, I

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Speaker 1: can't leave these behind. And I'm I'm still into physical books.

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Speaker 1: I'm not a fan of digital books.

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Speaker 3: At talks, you're not both and Radia.

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Speaker 4: You said that your family's journey from being refugees to

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Speaker 4: building a new life shape the way that you see

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Speaker 4: the world. What lesson from your upbringing would you say

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Speaker 4: continues to guide you today?

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Speaker 2: So many things. My you know, my grandma was born

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Speaker 2: and raised in India and then moved to Uganda when

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Speaker 2: she got married. To my granddad and from there she

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Speaker 2: then became a refugee when she came into Scotland and

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Speaker 2: with absolutely nothing. They couldn't bring anything with them. And

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Speaker 2: it was so interesting because even from the moment that

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Speaker 2: I like my first memory of my grandma has been

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Speaker 2: she has spent her whole life just in service to family,

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Speaker 2: to community, whether it was in the refugee camp. She

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Speaker 2: was one of the first people to start cooking in

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Speaker 2: the kitchen for the community because they weren't used to

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Speaker 2: eating the food from from the UK. They wanted to

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Speaker 2: eat food that was part of their culture. And so

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Speaker 2: my grandma got in the kitchen and she was cooking

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Speaker 2: for everyone. Even when she had nothing, she was still

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Speaker 2: doing things for other people. And so I think that's

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Speaker 2: been a thread of all I've seen her do, and

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Speaker 2: not ever have I seen a moment of resentment through

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Speaker 2: doing it. And you know, I always think about, you

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Speaker 2: know you're doing too much or beyond your capacity when

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Speaker 2: you start becoming resentful or feeling like you deserve something

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Speaker 2: back for doing what you've been doing. But my Grandma,

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Speaker 2: I've never seen. She's ninety one now and she is

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Speaker 2: still the most joyful, content like self. Content human that

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Speaker 2: I I've met, and I honestly think it's because she

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Speaker 2: gave with zero expectation throughout her life and certain situations

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Speaker 2: put her into a into a moment where she had

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Speaker 2: to do that whether she wanted to or not, but

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Speaker 2: it became part of her. And so I think that

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Speaker 2: watching her has wanted like has made me want to

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Speaker 2: do the same for people around me. And you know,

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Speaker 2: also her deep spiritual practice, like my grandma speaks to

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Speaker 2: God more than she speaks to humans. And I don't

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Speaker 2: say that lightly. She spends more hours of her day

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Speaker 2: in prayer speaking to God than she does actually interacting

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Speaker 2: with humans, at least for the past ten years that

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Speaker 2: I've seen. She wakes up in the morning at like

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Speaker 2: three point thirty in the morning, She's praying till nine am.

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Speaker 2: She's then back in prayer by two pm till three o'clock,

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Speaker 2: back in prayer again from six pm till eight pm,

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Speaker 2: and then again in the evening before she goes to bed.

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Speaker 2: And so I think you can only really give that

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Speaker 2: two people when you've when you've given yourself that deeper

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Speaker 2: connection to God or the universe that's empowering you to

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Speaker 2: be able to actually give to others in that capacity.

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Speaker 2: So those are just a couple of the things, but yeah,

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Speaker 2: so many things, and my mum and my dad both

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Speaker 2: emulate that same nature too.

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Speaker 5: More of this inspiring and powerful conversation after the break.

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Speaker 5: Now back to my legacy with Jay Shetty and his

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Speaker 5: wife Roddy.

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Speaker 6: You know, from my experience it's often the struggles that

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Speaker 6: define who we are. Many times we know the glory,

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Speaker 6: but we don't necessarily know the story of the individual.

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Speaker 6: So Jay, can you share or take us back to

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Speaker 6: one of the toughest moments in your journey and what

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Speaker 6: ultimately it taught you.

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Speaker 1: It's so interesting, isn't it. When you're asked to think

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Speaker 1: about a tough moment in your life, you almost just

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Speaker 1: see it as your life, and so you don't I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I never grew up. I only recognize when

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Speaker 1: I got older and I spoke to people about experiences

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Speaker 1: I went through that they were tough, because up until

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Speaker 1: that point they were just my life and they just

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Speaker 1: felt normal. And you kind of assume everyone's going through

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Speaker 1: those things, and so I think we all walk around

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Speaker 1: thinking that everyone should understand us because they went through

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Speaker 1: the same thing and the truth is we don't understand

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Speaker 1: each other because we went through very different things. And

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Speaker 1: until you meet someone who's gone through something that you

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Speaker 1: can connect with or resonate with, it's really hard to

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Speaker 1: reconcile it. I think for me, a big part of

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Speaker 1: it was that I grew up in a home that

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Speaker 1: I mediated my parents' marriage, and I would say that

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Speaker 1: that was the most challenging thing growing up because I

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Speaker 1: didn't wake up to a great environment and I think

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Speaker 1: for me that made me who I am today, and

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Speaker 1: so I have a lot of gratitude for that and

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Speaker 1: appreciation for that. But I think a lot of people

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Speaker 1: see me and the work I do today, and they

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Speaker 1: often see the marriage I have with my wife today

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Speaker 1: in our connection and relationship, and it comes from just

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Speaker 1: having a long list of what not to do. And

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Speaker 1: so I think often in life you could get an

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Speaker 1: amazing experience, and when you get that, you should write

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Speaker 1: down everything you should do, and sometimes you're going to

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Speaker 1: get a really painful experience, and in that you should

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Speaker 1: write down everything you should never do. And so so

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Speaker 1: partly what I'm grateful to have today is a list

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Speaker 1: of what not to do in a relationship. And I'm

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Speaker 1: very grateful that I got those lessons and those messages

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Speaker 1: because they allowed me to really be conscious about who

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Speaker 1: I wanted to be, what I wanted to build, how

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Speaker 1: I wanted to grow. And so that was very very

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Speaker 1: early on in my life, and I really believe that today.

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Speaker 1: The reason why I have the ability to listen to

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Speaker 1: people and their pain, and why I feel empathetic and

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Speaker 1: compassionate to pretty much all experiences is because I remember

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Speaker 1: doing that for my parents. I remember listening to my

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Speaker 1: mom for hours and hearing her challenges and recognizing that

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Speaker 1: they were real. And I remember listening sitting to my

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Speaker 1: dad for hours and recognizing his challenges and that they

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Speaker 1: were real. And what it taught me was to look

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Speaker 1: beyond the person and find context to how they became

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Speaker 1: that way. And I think this is what we often

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Speaker 1: don't think. We think, why are you that way? But

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Speaker 1: we don't ask the question, how did you become that way?

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Speaker 1: Or what happened to you that that's where you are today?

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Speaker 1: And I think that's a better question. And I think

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Speaker 1: when I started to look into the past of my parents,

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Speaker 1: I started to notice so much more information and experiences

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Speaker 1: and pain and stress that they'd been through that had

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Speaker 1: made them that way, and so I felt very grateful

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Speaker 1: to be loved by both of them, and to this

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Speaker 1: day feel my mother's unconditional love in the most special way.

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Speaker 1: But being there for both of them was a really

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Speaker 1: interesting challenge growing up that it's why I do what

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Speaker 1: I do for a living today, So I'm not mad

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Speaker 1: about it.

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Speaker 7: Well, Jay, we're so inspired by that context of how

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Speaker 7: you've become such an incredible voice. Raddi, I wanted to

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Speaker 7: ask you a question. You've dedicated so much of your

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Speaker 7: life to helping others heal. What's a moment in your

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Speaker 7: life where you've had to heal yourself.

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Speaker 2: Question? I feel like I'm healing on a daily basis,

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Speaker 2: But I'd say a place where I felt I needed

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Speaker 2: the most amount of growth and noticed the most amount

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Speaker 2: of growth was when me and Ja first got married.

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Speaker 2: We moved to New York and it was the first

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Speaker 2: time i'd really moved away from family, moved away from home,

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Speaker 2: moved to a place where I pretty much knew nobody,

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Speaker 2: and we were starting from scratch. And I grew up

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Speaker 2: as the youngest child where most things were done for me.

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Speaker 2: I was whether it was like me doing my homework late.

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Speaker 2: My sister would stay up late and help me whether

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Speaker 2: any part, any decision I would make, my mom would

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Speaker 2: help me make it. You know, I really wasn't used

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Speaker 2: to doing things for myself or by myself, and so

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Speaker 2: when we moved to New York, I also had been

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Speaker 2: studying for a long time, only to move with Jay

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Speaker 2: to have a spouse visa where I couldn't work, And

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Speaker 2: so I found myself in a weird position of just

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Speaker 2: feeling lost and having to get to know myself in

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Speaker 2: ways that I never had before. I was able to

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Speaker 2: hide behind the work I did, or my family or

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Speaker 2: the community I was part of, and all of that

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Speaker 2: was kind of stripped away from me to only come

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Speaker 2: to realize I absolutely did not know myself at all.

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Speaker 2: I didn't know how to choose colors of things that

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Speaker 2: I liked. I didn't know how to make decisions for myself.

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00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,159
Speaker 2: I didn't know whether I wanted something or didn't. And

439
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:23,600
Speaker 2: so it became this journey that of just starting to

440
00:23:23,680 --> 00:23:27,119
Speaker 2: learn about who I actually was, Like I grew up

441
00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:29,639
Speaker 2: just thinking I wanted what my family wanted or I

442
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:33,679
Speaker 2: liked what my sister liked. Because I didn't spend the

443
00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:35,560
Speaker 2: time to really get to know what my wants or

444
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:38,320
Speaker 2: needs were. And so I spent a lot of my

445
00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:41,639
Speaker 2: time in New York walking around, well one crying, crying

446
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,080
Speaker 2: down the streets, which seemed really normal in New York,

447
00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:48,760
Speaker 2: no one seemed to care. And then having to do

448
00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:52,479
Speaker 2: some seriously deep work of figuring out what is it

449
00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:55,240
Speaker 2: that I like and dislike and want in my life.

450
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:59,160
Speaker 2: And so I'd say that took a lot of healing

451
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:03,080
Speaker 2: because I had to also unlearn things that I had

452
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:06,639
Speaker 2: I thought that I knew about myself based on other people,

453
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 2: and I had to realize that those were all views

454
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:13,040
Speaker 2: from others and perceptions of others that I had to

455
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:15,959
Speaker 2: step away from because maybe I didn't want that narrative

456
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,960
Speaker 2: of myself and I wanted to create a new one.

457
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:21,320
Speaker 2: So yeah, they say that was probably the time I've

458
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:22,240
Speaker 2: had to heal the most.

459
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:24,480
Speaker 3: That's beautiful.

460
00:24:24,560 --> 00:24:27,760
Speaker 4: It's interesting too, because so we have an eldest child

461
00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 4: married to a younger child, so.

462
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:33,960
Speaker 3: You're making it work.

463
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:40,000
Speaker 4: And as I'm hearing your idea, I think that obviously

464
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,160
Speaker 4: all of our stories are so unique, but I do

465
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:46,560
Speaker 4: think that that what you just shared is so indicative

466
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:49,160
Speaker 4: to a lot of women as well, you know, kind

467
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:52,600
Speaker 4: of finding our voices, kind of finding what it is

468
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:56,920
Speaker 4: that our you know, aligning to our desires and honoring

469
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:57,800
Speaker 4: our desires.

470
00:24:57,840 --> 00:24:58,880
Speaker 3: And so I think.

471
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:02,040
Speaker 4: That that was a beautiful share and I think that

472
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:07,080
Speaker 4: so many women in particular can find themselves within that story.

473
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:09,200
Speaker 2: No, I was just thinking about, you know, I think

474
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:11,640
Speaker 2: we go through this ebb and flow of being lost

475
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:14,320
Speaker 2: and found regularly. And I always used to think that

476
00:25:14,359 --> 00:25:16,199
Speaker 2: you just once you figure out what you want to

477
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:18,840
Speaker 2: do or who you are, it's just an upward trajectory.

478
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 2: But I've realized that you end up, you know, when

479
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:24,560
Speaker 2: you end up not realizing that being lost is part

480
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:27,160
Speaker 2: of life's journey. Like you are always going to feel

481
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:29,600
Speaker 2: a little bit lost as you go along life because

482
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:33,720
Speaker 2: experiences happened, things happen that you don't expect to. You

483
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:35,840
Speaker 2: realize that it's actually part of it. It's not an

484
00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:38,320
Speaker 2: obscure thing that only you are going through. Because I

485
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:41,439
Speaker 2: feel like I've gone through moments of feeling really found

486
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:44,800
Speaker 2: and understood to only feel really lost again, and then

487
00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:47,440
Speaker 2: I feel really in my purpose and in my power,

488
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:49,680
Speaker 2: and then I feel lost again. And so I think

489
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:52,679
Speaker 2: that ebb and flow is something that we have to

490
00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:54,840
Speaker 2: realize is actually just part of it. I don't think

491
00:25:54,880 --> 00:25:57,720
Speaker 2: it is. I don't think it's the exception. I think

492
00:25:57,760 --> 00:25:59,880
Speaker 2: it is actually the rule of life, and it's part

493
00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:00,679
Speaker 2: of post of it.

494
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 3: Yes, I love that.

495
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:06,360
Speaker 4: I think also that's almost the progress as it relates

496
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:08,880
Speaker 4: to humanity in a way.

497
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:12,439
Speaker 3: I think we all we think that progress is linear,

498
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:14,560
Speaker 3: but it really is.

499
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:18,080
Speaker 4: It is more in the ebbs and flow and keeping

500
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:22,440
Speaker 4: hold to that, that vision and that the dream that's

501
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:27,240
Speaker 4: inside of you. So, okay, we know the challenges of

502
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:28,400
Speaker 4: working with.

503
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:31,080
Speaker 3: Your your partner.

504
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:33,280
Speaker 7: There's challenges.

505
00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:37,000
Speaker 3: Really, you know, it's.

506
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:46,160
Speaker 2: Wonderful right now, It's so wonderful all the time, every day.

507
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:50,360
Speaker 4: How do you all navigate through through those challenges?

508
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:52,920
Speaker 1: How do we deal with working with each other?

509
00:26:53,359 --> 00:26:55,880
Speaker 5: I notice very wisely questions.

510
00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:04,920
Speaker 2: Let me see what she says. My perspective, I would say,

511
00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:08,320
Speaker 2: you know, the good thing is we both have extremely

512
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:11,600
Speaker 2: different skill sets, like we are very different humans. And

513
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:16,480
Speaker 2: so what's great in that sense is Jay handles a

514
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:19,040
Speaker 2: lot of the things that I don't want to or

515
00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:21,120
Speaker 2: don't have the skills too. I would say, like he's

516
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:25,600
Speaker 2: really good at the business side of things, and I

517
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:28,640
Speaker 2: really enjoy the creative side of things, and so especially

518
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:31,560
Speaker 2: for the main project we work on together is Junior,

519
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:36,000
Speaker 2: our tea company, and so he does a lot of

520
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,320
Speaker 2: the business management calls. Is that what you'd call it?

521
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:38,880
Speaker 1: Sure?

522
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:44,879
Speaker 2: Like the finance stuff and what else would you call it?

523
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:49,919
Speaker 2: The strategic stuff? Yeah? And I really like doing the creative,

524
00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:54,680
Speaker 2: working with the team to do events and building the brands,

525
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:59,800
Speaker 2: the flavors of yeah, the flavors, the intricacies behind what

526
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:03,440
Speaker 2: we actually put into the product. And so honestly we're

527
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:06,879
Speaker 2: not often on the same calls, and so we do

528
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:12,680
Speaker 2: work together, but I wouldn't say.

529
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we've only ever the only thing we've

530
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:19,440
Speaker 1: ever done together work wise is our decompany Juni, and

531
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:22,760
Speaker 1: that was really exciting because that was something that we

532
00:28:22,840 --> 00:28:26,439
Speaker 1: shared in common. We both wanted to drink drinks that

533
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:28,560
Speaker 1: didn't have sugar, so we wanted to build a zero

534
00:28:28,640 --> 00:28:31,520
Speaker 1: gram sugar drink. We wanted something with low calories, so

535
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 1: only as five calories. We wanted something that was filled

536
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:38,120
Speaker 1: with ashwagandha and rishi mushroom and all these things that

537
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:40,280
Speaker 1: we know we should be taking. And so that's why

538
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:42,600
Speaker 1: we focused on that. But the reason why it is

539
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 1: easy to work on it together is because we founded

540
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 1: the company many years into our marriage, and I think

541
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:51,680
Speaker 1: by then we have a good understanding of each other's

542
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:54,240
Speaker 1: strengths and weaknesses, and we have a lot of trust.

543
00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:57,560
Speaker 1: So I know, if Radi's on a call about flavor profiles,

544
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 1: I know she understands flavor profiles far better than I

545
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:04,600
Speaker 1: ever would. My palette is really basic. Right before I

546
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 1: met her, I had no idea what any of these

547
00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:11,480
Speaker 1: incredible herbs and plant extracts and adaptations are. And so

548
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:13,640
Speaker 1: her level of knowledge in that field is something I

549
00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 1: can trust. It's something I would back, It's something I

550
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 1: feel very confident in, and thankfully she feels that way

551
00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:21,800
Speaker 1: about me and my strength, and so I think that's

552
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 1: why it works for us. I don't think I could.

553
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:26,960
Speaker 1: I think I'd find it hard if we had similar

554
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:29,960
Speaker 1: skill sets and we were constantly debating and figuring it out.

555
00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:33,800
Speaker 1: I quite like the dividing conquers who works well well.

556
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,160
Speaker 7: We love your tea company, we love your t brand.

557
00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:36,560
Speaker 2: Jay.

558
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 7: In your international best selling book Eight Rules of Love,

559
00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:42,280
Speaker 7: you talk about what it takes to nurture a relationship.

560
00:29:42,560 --> 00:29:44,040
Speaker 7: Can you give us one or two of your top

561
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:49,400
Speaker 7: suggestions on how you can continuously strengthen bonds between couples.

562
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:54,000
Speaker 1: Should be asking all of you this, but I'll try

563
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:56,120
Speaker 1: my best. I'm sure there's a lot more wisdom on

564
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,720
Speaker 1: that side of the table, So I feel underqualified, but

565
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:06,440
Speaker 1: I would say one of my favorite ones is I

566
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:08,400
Speaker 1: have a chapter in the book called your partner is

567
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:13,520
Speaker 1: Your Guru. And what I mean by that is that

568
00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:20,440
Speaker 1: not that they're an authoritative, judgmental, dictatorial individual, because that's

569
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:23,360
Speaker 1: not what a guru is. A guru is someone who's

570
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:28,280
Speaker 1: dedicated to your growth, who's committed to helping you find

571
00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:32,280
Speaker 1: your path, and who's patient while you do it. That's

572
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:35,760
Speaker 1: actually what a guru is, especially in the Eastern traditions.

573
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:38,600
Speaker 1: And one of my favorite things about that is that

574
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:42,120
Speaker 1: your partner is really a mirror. And the challenge we

575
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:46,360
Speaker 1: have in relationships is that the right partner holds up

576
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:51,200
Speaker 1: the mirror in a non judgmental way, but we're so

577
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:54,440
Speaker 1: convinced that the mirror is broken because we don't like

578
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:58,160
Speaker 1: what we see that we reject them. So we reject

579
00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:01,360
Speaker 1: the one person who actually has the ability to help

580
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:06,240
Speaker 1: us grow. And so RADI has been completely non judgmental

581
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 1: empathetic and compassionate about my health journey. When I met RADI,

582
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:13,280
Speaker 1: I was addicted to sugar, I ate a lot of

583
00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:17,400
Speaker 1: fried food, I was fairly unhealthy physically, and because I

584
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:20,960
Speaker 1: had a strong mind and meditated daily and felt like

585
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:23,680
Speaker 1: I'd got somewhere with that journey, I felt like my

586
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:25,880
Speaker 1: body almost didn't matter. I almost felt like it was

587
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:30,040
Speaker 1: a afterthought. And she didn't teach me by telling me

588
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:32,240
Speaker 1: I was wrong and that I was wasting time, that

589
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,720
Speaker 1: I was being lazy, and that I should work out more,

590
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:37,120
Speaker 1: because none of those things would have helped me, because

591
00:31:37,160 --> 00:31:40,000
Speaker 1: my ego would have come to my defense and been

592
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:42,240
Speaker 1: a shield and pushed back, and I would have been

593
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:45,080
Speaker 1: affected by that, like I think we all are. Instead,

594
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 1: she set the example. She's worked out every day i've

595
00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:51,720
Speaker 1: known her. She's eaten a clean diet, she's always cooked

596
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:54,880
Speaker 1: healthy food. She encouraged me and educated me in the

597
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:57,760
Speaker 1: challenges of how I was living without making me feel

598
00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:00,400
Speaker 1: bad about them. And she's been my gurup for my

599
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 1: health and so to me, when your partners your guru,

600
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 1: and you allow your partner to teach you in a

601
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 1: non judgmental, non confrontational, non finger pointing way that is

602
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:15,840
Speaker 1: the person who can help you grow. There's no one

603
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:18,600
Speaker 1: on planet Earth who could make you a better human

604
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:20,560
Speaker 1: being than the person you spend the most time with.

605
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 1: So that your partners, your guru is probably one of them.

606
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:25,760
Speaker 1: And I think you said a couple. I would add

607
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:31,400
Speaker 1: that the problem is we often want our partners to change,

608
00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:35,000
Speaker 1: but what we don't have is the patience that it

609
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:38,760
Speaker 1: takes to watch them change. And we also want them

610
00:32:38,800 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 1: to change into the people we want them to be,

611
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:45,280
Speaker 1: not the people that they want them to be. We

612
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 1: see their potential and we say you must rise to this.

613
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:51,960
Speaker 1: We see the possibility and we say you must reach this.

614
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:56,800
Speaker 1: We see the result for them that we've projected, and

615
00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,280
Speaker 1: we say, if you don't get to this, you've failed.

616
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:03,040
Speaker 1: And never have we asked them, who do you want

617
00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:07,880
Speaker 1: to be? How do you want to live your life?

618
00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:11,800
Speaker 1: What are you trying to accomplish? And it's really interesting

619
00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:15,000
Speaker 1: to me that we believe, just because we want to

620
00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:19,200
Speaker 1: invest in them, that that care is greater than their ambition.

621
00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:22,360
Speaker 1: And I think we work so hard we want to

622
00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 1: be their savior. We want to be the person to

623
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:28,920
Speaker 1: solve all their problems. We want to be the person

624
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:33,640
Speaker 1: who fixes everything for them just to feel good about ourselves.

625
00:33:34,240 --> 00:33:37,240
Speaker 1: We don't actually want them to be happy. We just

626
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 1: want to be happy that we're doing something for them,

627
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:43,480
Speaker 1: and so we don't really give them the patience, the time,

628
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:46,720
Speaker 1: the energy to find who they are and move in

629
00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:49,320
Speaker 1: that direction for themselves, because we want to feel like

630
00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:51,600
Speaker 1: we're helping, we're fixing, We're I'm here to solve all

631
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:54,120
Speaker 1: your problems, and in that you try to be the

632
00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:56,360
Speaker 1: person who saves them, but actually you push them away.

633
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:59,120
Speaker 1: So those would be my two biggest things that I

634
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:01,880
Speaker 1: think if we can, on the first time, learn to

635
00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 1: be a guru that's non judgmental, and on the second hand,

636
00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:09,359
Speaker 1: learn to be patient and let people become who they

637
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:11,480
Speaker 1: want to be, not try to make them who we

638
00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:12,120
Speaker 1: want them to be.

639
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:16,000
Speaker 5: I love that on a personal note because I'm going

640
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:18,440
Speaker 5: to own that, and I think a lot of guys

641
00:34:18,840 --> 00:34:22,080
Speaker 5: who are husbands need to own that. Just being radically transparent,

642
00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:24,880
Speaker 5: because you called it as it is, like it is

643
00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:28,640
Speaker 5: this male desire to want to help, to want to protect,

644
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:32,560
Speaker 5: and so often it is that instead that patience that's

645
00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:34,960
Speaker 5: sitting in it. And I love I love that phrase.

646
00:34:35,000 --> 00:34:37,200
Speaker 5: I wrote that down like you know, the idea of

647
00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:39,960
Speaker 5: supporting who they want to be, asking them you know

648
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:41,799
Speaker 5: who they want to be, and then supporting them with

649
00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:44,480
Speaker 5: that patience on that journey, not wanting to help, not

650
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:45,960
Speaker 5: want to even though it comes from a good place,

651
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:49,960
Speaker 5: just giving the space. I just so many husbands out there,

652
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:55,640
Speaker 5: anyone who's listening, who wants to play that clip back

653
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:59,359
Speaker 5: on social media for someone in their life to sit with.

654
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:01,960
Speaker 5: I just want to cruise them to sit with that

655
00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:05,720
Speaker 5: for a few minutes. I love the honesty of that advice.

656
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:10,160
Speaker 7: Well, and the partner is your guru is just so profound.

657
00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:12,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's changed my life. I didn't know all this

658
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:14,480
Speaker 1: before I got married. I think you figure it out

659
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:16,880
Speaker 1: when you are married, and then you start learning how

660
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:19,040
Speaker 1: much it has to teach you and how much better

661
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:20,880
Speaker 1: you have to become because you love someone. And I

662
00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:24,520
Speaker 1: think that's the difference. The right person inspires you to

663
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:27,520
Speaker 1: want to become better, not want to make them better.

664
00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:30,719
Speaker 1: Like you know, I think we're constantly worrying about oh God,

665
00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:32,440
Speaker 1: they're not doing this, and they're not doing that, and

666
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:34,480
Speaker 1: they're not doing this, and the right person makes you

667
00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:36,359
Speaker 1: look at yourself and go, well, I'm not doing that,

668
00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:38,319
Speaker 1: So let me start there.

669
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:41,560
Speaker 5: Grab a refill on your coffee or tea because you

670
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 5: won't want to miss the rest of this conversation. We'll

671
00:35:44,080 --> 00:36:19,239
Speaker 5: be right back now back to my legacy with Jay

672
00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:21,479
Speaker 5: Shetty and his wife Roddy.

673
00:36:22,239 --> 00:36:25,480
Speaker 6: This is a very simple thing, but it's very important.

674
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:30,799
Speaker 6: I rarely get sick and I'm blessed and fortunate. But

675
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:35,719
Speaker 6: a lot of that, in my mind is because every day,

676
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:38,560
Speaker 6: not a day goes by that Andrea doesn't put out

677
00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:41,200
Speaker 6: vitamins from me. Now, I would like to be.

678
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:42,000
Speaker 2: That's a simple thing.

679
00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:44,040
Speaker 6: I'd love to be able to do that, and I

680
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:49,839
Speaker 6: will get there, but that constantly reinforces. You know, when

681
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:52,279
Speaker 6: your partner loves you so much that they are very

682
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:56,319
Speaker 6: concerned about your being healthy, being able to go out

683
00:36:56,360 --> 00:36:58,719
Speaker 6: into the world as many of us have to do.

684
00:36:58,840 --> 00:37:01,839
Speaker 6: So I want to ask you both, what simple thing

685
00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 6: does your partner do to show that they love you?

686
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:10,840
Speaker 2: Ah? My gosh, Jason, Well, Jason very expressive person, but

687
00:37:11,800 --> 00:37:14,080
Speaker 2: it's not just the words that he uses like he

688
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:16,360
Speaker 2: is someone who will verbally check in and be like,

689
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,319
Speaker 2: what can I do to make you happier? Is there

690
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:19,840
Speaker 2: anyway I can help you? And he says that to

691
00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:23,000
Speaker 2: me on a regular basis. So I think one part

692
00:37:23,040 --> 00:37:26,200
Speaker 2: of it is being vocal about how you want to

693
00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:29,440
Speaker 2: be there for your partner, which I actually wasn't very

694
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:31,400
Speaker 2: good at and I'm still getting better at to actually

695
00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:34,239
Speaker 2: vocalize it. I've you know, in my mind, I'm I

696
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:36,080
Speaker 2: see myself more of an active service, which is how

697
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:38,160
Speaker 2: I've seen my parents be. So I'd be like, oh,

698
00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:41,359
Speaker 2: but in my mind, I've cooked a meal and I've

699
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:45,240
Speaker 2: done this little thing. But sometimes you realize that actually

700
00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:48,359
Speaker 2: having those vocal moments are really important and how much

701
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:51,640
Speaker 2: that makes a difference in a relationship. But then in action,

702
00:37:51,719 --> 00:37:54,319
Speaker 2: it's like the little things of you know, even if

703
00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:56,440
Speaker 2: he's just sat down, when I've sat down and I

704
00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:58,919
Speaker 2: need something, he'll get back up, Like if I won't

705
00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:00,480
Speaker 2: get back up, he'll get back up to get it

706
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:08,040
Speaker 2: from me. Or if I am paying, you still do it,

707
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:10,640
Speaker 2: and you know those little things where you just notice

708
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 2: someone going out of their way for you, because not

709
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:14,000
Speaker 2: many people want to go out of their way for you.

710
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:18,680
Speaker 2: And then another one is whenever I'm having I'm quite

711
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:21,000
Speaker 2: an emotional person, and whenever he feels my energy is

712
00:38:21,000 --> 00:38:22,960
Speaker 2: a little bit off He'll always no matter what he's

713
00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:25,480
Speaker 2: got going on, he'll always make space and time to

714
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:27,279
Speaker 2: just check in and be like, do you need do

715
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 2: you need help with anything? Can I sit with you?

716
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:31,680
Speaker 2: I can work through whether it's a work thing, whether

717
00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:34,279
Speaker 2: it's a family thing. You know, he always creates the

718
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:37,239
Speaker 2: time and space, no matter how busy, to have those

719
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:39,920
Speaker 2: moments of connection if he feels like I really need it,

720
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,440
Speaker 2: and so, I mean I could probably go on, but

721
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:44,399
Speaker 2: I'll leave it that. There's are a couple of them.

722
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:47,960
Speaker 2: But yeah, there's so many different ways he expresses himself.

723
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:53,160
Speaker 1: Actually, Jay, Yeah, so many as well. I think for

724
00:38:53,239 --> 00:38:57,479
Speaker 1: me the biggest one is I think when we first

725
00:38:57,480 --> 00:38:59,759
Speaker 1: got married and we moved to New York and then

726
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:01,640
Speaker 1: we were kind of there for a couple of years,

727
00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:04,160
Speaker 1: the moving to LA and we've just been through so

728
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:09,759
Speaker 1: much change and change that wasn't anticipated or expected, so

729
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,320
Speaker 1: changed that we both had planned to live our whole

730
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:17,439
Speaker 1: lives fifteen minutes from our local temple in England and

731
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:21,160
Speaker 1: five minutes away from Radi's parents' home. And actually that

732
00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:25,400
Speaker 1: was one of her requirements for us getting married, was

733
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:28,600
Speaker 1: that she could be a one mile radius away from

734
00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:31,880
Speaker 1: her parents' home. And I'd committed to that, and I

735
00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:34,080
Speaker 1: genuinely had committed to that. It was something that I

736
00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:36,319
Speaker 1: thought was very real. All of our friends are in

737
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:40,000
Speaker 1: that area, families in that area. It made sense. And

738
00:39:40,040 --> 00:39:42,200
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, my career took a turn

739
00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:45,240
Speaker 1: in twenty sixteen when this part of my life started

740
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:49,000
Speaker 1: to grow, and it's continued to for the nine years, thankfully.

741
00:39:49,840 --> 00:39:53,080
Speaker 1: And if I'm completely honest, that was completely not part

742
00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:55,080
Speaker 1: of the plan, not my plan, not her plan, not

743
00:39:55,200 --> 00:39:59,719
Speaker 1: our plan. But it was what I couldn't even have

744
00:39:59,800 --> 00:40:06,600
Speaker 1: dream And not once in the last nine years has

745
00:40:06,719 --> 00:40:09,080
Speaker 1: Radi ever said to me, look what I gave up

746
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:12,799
Speaker 1: for you. And oh god, I could cry saying this,

747
00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:15,680
Speaker 1: but it's one of those things. It's like I know

748
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:19,359
Speaker 1: how much her parents mean to her, now much her

749
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:21,880
Speaker 1: family friends mean to her. I know how much London

750
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:25,480
Speaker 1: means to her, and for her to move away, for

751
00:40:25,520 --> 00:40:28,800
Speaker 1: her to give that up when we didn't have clarity,

752
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:32,200
Speaker 1: like you know, we're very fortunate today to have a

753
00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:36,160
Speaker 1: wonderful life, but getting here wasn't easy. I was away

754
00:40:36,200 --> 00:40:39,279
Speaker 1: a lot, I traveled a lot for work, I was

755
00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:42,600
Speaker 1: building things, moving around, And never once did she say

756
00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:46,080
Speaker 1: I gave this all up for you, you're never around

757
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:50,680
Speaker 1: you work too hard. And I think that kind of

758
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:57,000
Speaker 1: trust without nagging, without making someone feel bad when I

759
00:40:57,080 --> 00:41:00,120
Speaker 1: was already carrying the burden of it myself. And I

760
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:02,799
Speaker 1: think that's the feeling that makes you feel loved where

761
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:06,239
Speaker 1: you're like, I was already feeling that way myself. So

762
00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:07,560
Speaker 1: if she would have said it to me, it probably

763
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:10,640
Speaker 1: would have broken me. But the fact that she didn't

764
00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:13,560
Speaker 1: feel that she had to say it to me makes

765
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:18,760
Speaker 1: me feel loved. So not blaming, not shaming, not pushing,

766
00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:21,920
Speaker 1: not prodding is is. It feels like a small thing,

767
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:26,920
Speaker 1: but actually it's huge. And even at the most difficult

768
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:32,440
Speaker 1: times in our life, whether we were financially struggling, you know,

769
00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:35,600
Speaker 1: struggling with moving, changing, whatever things were going on in

770
00:41:35,640 --> 00:41:38,360
Speaker 1: our life, every time i'd update her on what would happen,

771
00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:42,560
Speaker 1: she'd always say, I trust you. And hearing your partner

772
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:44,640
Speaker 1: say that when you don't even know what's going to

773
00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:48,480
Speaker 1: happen next is the greatest sign of love. And so

774
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:53,800
Speaker 1: and and you know, she radly decided to date me

775
00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:56,600
Speaker 1: and commit to a relationship with me when I had

776
00:41:56,640 --> 00:42:01,040
Speaker 1: nothing to offer about myself. And so that's a pretty

777
00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:04,000
Speaker 1: big thing. She could have married anyone she wanted to marry,

778
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,960
Speaker 1: and so her decision to be with someone who didn't

779
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:10,480
Speaker 1: have a even a secure job when we first started dating,

780
00:42:10,560 --> 00:42:12,920
Speaker 1: and you know, someone who'd been in the monastery for

781
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:15,759
Speaker 1: three years and didn't have any sort of savings or

782
00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:19,680
Speaker 1: any sort of plan, I think it shows her character

783
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:23,280
Speaker 1: and her ability to you know, go beyond material things.

784
00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:27,680
Speaker 1: And the more recent one, I mean, I could go

785
00:42:27,719 --> 00:42:28,120
Speaker 1: on as well.

786
00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:29,839
Speaker 2: I think the more recently shed I need to get one.

787
00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:36,520
Speaker 1: Radi's never let me define my self worth based on

788
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:41,160
Speaker 1: my success. So when I first started to experience success,

789
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:44,799
Speaker 1: Raddi didn't celebrate it in the way I wanted her to,

790
00:42:46,160 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 1: and I would want. Look, I'd wanted my wife to

791
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:52,520
Speaker 1: be my number one fan and my biggest cheerleader, and

792
00:42:52,600 --> 00:42:56,680
Speaker 1: she wasn't for my career. But I had to realize

793
00:42:56,719 --> 00:42:59,120
Speaker 1: if I skewed my perspective, she was for who I was,

794
00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:02,440
Speaker 1: So if it came to my character, that's what she

795
00:43:02,560 --> 00:43:05,400
Speaker 1: was backing. She wasn't backing me because of my career,

796
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:10,000
Speaker 1: and that took me. That helped me detach from valuing

797
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:12,759
Speaker 1: myself based on the success of my career because I

798
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:14,520
Speaker 1: think that's what I would have done and what I

799
00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:17,280
Speaker 1: would have wanted if she had fallen in that way.

800
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:21,239
Speaker 1: And so her lack of validation for my career was

801
00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:24,600
Speaker 1: the greatest validation for my career.

802
00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:24,920
Speaker 5: I'm not.

803
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:29,200
Speaker 3: Great, but I mean, I think.

804
00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:30,880
Speaker 1: It's a cute say. And again going back to the

805
00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:33,319
Speaker 1: men point, I think a lot of men like we

806
00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:36,399
Speaker 1: want our partners to be like front row. We want

807
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:39,120
Speaker 1: them to be the cheerleader, like we've we've got that culture.

808
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:40,800
Speaker 1: And I'm not saying that my wife isn't my cheerleader

809
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:44,280
Speaker 1: and that, but I'm saying, your wife's cheerleading your character,

810
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:47,440
Speaker 1: not your career. That's better because the career is up

811
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:49,360
Speaker 1: and down, Like the career is going to do whatever

812
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:51,719
Speaker 1: it's going to do, But your characters who you are,

813
00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:53,319
Speaker 1: Like what do you want to be loved for? Do

814
00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:54,920
Speaker 1: you want to be loved for the amount of followers

815
00:43:54,920 --> 00:43:56,759
Speaker 1: you have? Or do you want to be loved for

816
00:43:57,120 --> 00:43:58,839
Speaker 1: who you are and how you show up and what

817
00:43:58,880 --> 00:44:01,960
Speaker 1: she believes you represent? Then, and so I think it's

818
00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:04,080
Speaker 1: genuinely been laughing about it, and it kind of have

819
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:07,000
Speaker 1: funny connotations, but I want to clarify, Like the point

820
00:44:07,120 --> 00:44:08,400
Speaker 1: is I think we all want to be loved for

821
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:11,200
Speaker 1: who we are and not loved for what we achieve.

822
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:13,160
Speaker 2: I did start listening to your podcast last year.

823
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:20,640
Speaker 7: That's guys, are hilarious.

824
00:44:20,719 --> 00:44:21,279
Speaker 2: I love this.

825
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:31,440
Speaker 5: I love that your your voice was cracking, like they.

826
00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:32,120
Speaker 3: Stop stopping.

827
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:34,640
Speaker 5: I can see like's eyes starting welling out the two

828
00:44:34,640 --> 00:44:34,799
Speaker 5: of you.

829
00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:35,480
Speaker 2: It's awesome.

830
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:40,279
Speaker 4: They're a great lesson in the languages of love and

831
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:44,760
Speaker 4: acknowledging that that you know that we all love different ways,

832
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:49,160
Speaker 4: and we receive love differently. And the ongoing challenge is

833
00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:52,879
Speaker 4: to find the love language of your partners, or your

834
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:56,439
Speaker 4: or your children or your work, you know, because and

835
00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:59,439
Speaker 4: what I keep hearing is that you all, you all

836
00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:02,320
Speaker 4: do that you all kind of ask of what language

837
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:05,920
Speaker 4: does Roddy speak and show love? Or what language does

838
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:08,839
Speaker 4: Jay speak? And then how can I show them love

839
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:10,000
Speaker 4: in my language?

840
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:12,799
Speaker 3: And I just think that's such a beautiful, beautiful thing.

841
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:17,839
Speaker 4: And we're just getting started with Jay and Roddy. Jay

842
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:22,040
Speaker 4: and Roddy's journey isn't just about love. It's about becoming

843
00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:26,279
Speaker 4: the best version of yourself. Next week we shift from

844
00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:29,920
Speaker 4: love to life's greatest lessons what they do for their

845
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:33,640
Speaker 4: own mental health. Wellness and the unexpected daily habits that

846
00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:37,319
Speaker 4: keep them grounded. If you think part one was insightful,

847
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:41,400
Speaker 4: just wait until you hear part two. Trust me, you

848
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:44,640
Speaker 4: want to miss it. Join us next week for Part

849
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:49,239
Speaker 4: two of My Legacy. Thank you for joining us. We

850
00:45:49,320 --> 00:45:52,720
Speaker 4: are so grateful to have you as part of this journey.

851
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:57,640
Speaker 4: If you enjoyed today's conversation, subscribe and share the podcast

852
00:45:57,680 --> 00:46:01,080
Speaker 4: with friends, family, and loved one, and follow us on

853
00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:04,680
Speaker 4: social media at my Legacy Movement. At the heart of

854
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:08,239
Speaker 4: this podcast is doctor King's vision of the beloved community

855
00:46:08,560 --> 00:46:12,520
Speaker 4: and the power of connection. This podcast is a testament

856
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:16,719
Speaker 4: to that vision and the product of collective effort, enriched by.

857
00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:19,720
Speaker 3: The voices, stories, and support of so many.

858
00:46:20,560 --> 00:46:26,160
Speaker 4: A Legacy Plus studio production distributed by iHeartMedia creative and

859
00:46:26,239 --> 00:46:31,520
Speaker 4: executive producer Suzanne Hayward co executive producer Lisa Lyle. My

860
00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:36,040
Speaker 4: Legacy podcast is available on the iHeartRadio app or wherever

861
00:46:36,080 --> 00:46:40,240
Speaker 4: you get your podcasts. Until next time, may you find

862
00:46:40,360 --> 00:46:49,440
Speaker 4: connection and inspiration to live your most fulfilled life.