1
00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:16,560
Speaker 1: So there's an article on Shanna Moakler and Travis Barker

2
00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:20,800
Speaker 1: and Courtney Kardashian and a term called parental alien nation,

3
00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:25,799
Speaker 1: where Shanna Moakler is effectively saying that she can't compete

4
00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:32,239
Speaker 1: with Travis and Courtney and that she's implying that the

5
00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:36,920
Speaker 1: extravagance and their fame and I guess the ga wagons

6
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:41,760
Speaker 1: and the Prada is creating parental alien nation and that

7
00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:44,720
Speaker 1: Travis really set out to be the favorite parent and

8
00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:49,199
Speaker 1: the star dad, and that it's alienating her and that

9
00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:52,080
Speaker 1: she's just going to be there waiting being a good

10
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,680
Speaker 1: mother and that the kids are her priority, and that

11
00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:58,920
Speaker 1: she can't compete. This is a very common aspect. First

12
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:02,320
Speaker 1: of all, what happens is is it happens more with men,

13
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:05,000
Speaker 1: where men who seem like they're letting the woman be

14
00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:07,520
Speaker 1: in the driver's seat with the parenting and the activities

15
00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:10,760
Speaker 1: and the kids and the doctors and all those things.

16
00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:13,480
Speaker 1: All of a sudden a divorce starts to happen and

17
00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:16,160
Speaker 1: the father becomes what they call superdad. The father is

18
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,920
Speaker 1: super involved and now he wants to do everything with

19
00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:23,120
Speaker 1: the kids and often with the next spouse or girlfriend.

20
00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:26,080
Speaker 1: They're even more involved, and the previous spouse is sitting

21
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,200
Speaker 1: here saying, what the hell this is like a sham, Like,

22
00:01:28,240 --> 00:01:29,880
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, now he's superdad.

23
00:01:30,240 --> 00:01:31,920
Speaker 2: It could be for many reasons. It could be the

24
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:33,119
Speaker 2: kids are older.

25
00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:37,760
Speaker 1: And the man is identifying and connecting to them more.

26
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,640
Speaker 1: It could be that the man was suffocating in their

27
00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:42,320
Speaker 1: own marriage, staying away from it because they weren't happy.

28
00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:45,319
Speaker 1: It could be that it's competitive now and it's a battle,

29
00:01:45,319 --> 00:01:47,120
Speaker 1: so it's a divorce battle, and they just sort of like,

30
00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:51,400
Speaker 1: you know, you hate the other parent more than you

31
00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:54,120
Speaker 1: love your kid, and it's a competition. It could be

32
00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:57,200
Speaker 1: a million things. It's just it could be in security.

33
00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:58,640
Speaker 1: All of a sudden, your word, your kids are gonna

34
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:01,440
Speaker 1: hate you. When you had the secure of the one house,

35
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:05,960
Speaker 1: everything was sort of, you know, solid and secure and peaceful,

36
00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:08,640
Speaker 1: and now all of a sudden, you're the pariah and

37
00:02:08,639 --> 00:02:10,800
Speaker 1: you're in another house. So you need to throw money

38
00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,760
Speaker 1: at the problem, buy your kid's presence, spoil them, no rules,

39
00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:16,519
Speaker 1: et cetera. So a couple of things. Number one, those

40
00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:19,840
Speaker 1: things don't really work. Kids really overall can't be bought.

41
00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:22,920
Speaker 1: If they can be bought, they'll take the trappings. Of

42
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:26,120
Speaker 1: course they're not stupid, but they'll ultimately know what it means.

43
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:29,240
Speaker 1: So kids really do realize it starts to happen around

44
00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:31,520
Speaker 1: like eleven and twelve, when they become their own people

45
00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:33,920
Speaker 1: that have their own voices and opinions, that they start

46
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:38,000
Speaker 1: to really realize what's going on between parents, and any

47
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:41,320
Speaker 1: mud slinging from one parent to the other ends up

48
00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:44,240
Speaker 1: really coming back on the one slinging the mud. And

49
00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:47,600
Speaker 1: you know, kids can't articulate that, they don't even realize it.

50
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:50,000
Speaker 1: But you know, it can be subtleties like one parents

51
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,840
Speaker 1: saying to the kid, I know you don't want to

52
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,320
Speaker 1: go to your mommy, or I know you don't want

53
00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:56,120
Speaker 1: to go to your daddy, but you'll be back with

54
00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,760
Speaker 1: me soon and I love you so much, and we

55
00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:01,400
Speaker 1: do things differently here. And it can be passive aggressive,

56
00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:04,760
Speaker 1: It can be aggressive. It could be talking totally negatively

57
00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:07,399
Speaker 1: about the other parent. All of it doesn't work. Kids

58
00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:11,560
Speaker 1: are very intuitive, Kids are very smart. Kids totally get it.

59
00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:15,040
Speaker 1: And what happens is once their brains, their emotions, their minds,

60
00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:19,560
Speaker 1: their emotional intelligence start to form, they then later put

61
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,920
Speaker 1: the puzzle pieces of what's happened for years before. So

62
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:25,119
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, everything starts to shuffle into place

63
00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:27,560
Speaker 1: and they start to realize things that they kind of

64
00:03:28,639 --> 00:03:31,640
Speaker 1: saw or experienced as a young child but couldn't process.

65
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,080
Speaker 1: And then they start to really realize which parent is

66
00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:37,800
Speaker 1: trying to, you know, pit the kid against the other

67
00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:39,720
Speaker 1: parent or put the kid in the middle.

68
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:43,200
Speaker 2: It's just a bad, dangerous game. So the parental alienation

69
00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:44,920
Speaker 2: thing is a serious thing, and.

70
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:51,840
Speaker 1: It's overused as a term because judges will actually file

71
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,520
Speaker 1: and say that will rule in favor of it. But

72
00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:57,160
Speaker 1: it's not that common, like parents use terms like that

73
00:03:57,280 --> 00:04:02,320
Speaker 1: all the time, basically meaning like, oh, my ex is

74
00:04:02,400 --> 00:04:04,280
Speaker 1: kind of trying to pin my kids against me. But

75
00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:07,520
Speaker 1: parental alienation is a real thing, and it's a systematic thing,

76
00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:10,880
Speaker 1: and it's a consistent thing, and it's something that means

77
00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:13,200
Speaker 1: that the one parent is really doing a number and

78
00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:16,400
Speaker 1: a job on getting the kids to really have no

79
00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:17,839
Speaker 1: relationship with the other parent.

80
00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:19,800
Speaker 2: It's only bad for the kids.

81
00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:25,200
Speaker 1: You want to set up positive relationships with both sexes

82
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:28,159
Speaker 1: for your kids so they don't model their life and

83
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:32,640
Speaker 1: their choices based on negativity and the home. So it's

84
00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:34,920
Speaker 1: just a terrible idea. It's a boomerang. I'm not saying

85
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:37,880
Speaker 1: any of this is actually happening. I definitely have an

86
00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:41,960
Speaker 1: opinion on kids getting g wagons for Christmas and you know,

87
00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:44,320
Speaker 1: things like that. I just don't believe in spoiling kids.

88
00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:47,880
Speaker 1: It's very hard. It's hard for anyone. It's it's I

89
00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:49,760
Speaker 1: guess hard for me. Although I crack the whip and

90
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,680
Speaker 1: I'm on it, I can't imagine it's got to be

91
00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:54,560
Speaker 1: a million, a billion times harder for Kardashians who just

92
00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:57,640
Speaker 1: get everything handed to them. But there's a discipline, and

93
00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:01,920
Speaker 1: just because you're a billionaire doesn't mean your kids need

94
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:03,440
Speaker 1: to be draped in arimez and diamonds.

95
00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:04,240
Speaker 2: I don't believe in that.

96
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,680
Speaker 1: So possibly the trappings and also living in LA and

97
00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:11,120
Speaker 1: Beverly Hills and entertainment and fame and celebrity. So I'm

98
00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:14,400
Speaker 1: definitely not saying that parental alienation was happening. I'm just

99
00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:17,040
Speaker 1: talking about it as a concept, and it is relatable

100
00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:20,120
Speaker 1: for Shanna to feel like she can't win, she can't compete,

101
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:21,360
Speaker 1: she can't afford.

102
00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:23,200
Speaker 2: But love is what kids want.

103
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:26,880
Speaker 1: Discipline, structure, They want to know where they should be.

104
00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:27,479
Speaker 2: Coming and going.

105
00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:32,560
Speaker 1: They want rules, they want unconditional love. They want tough love.

106
00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:34,279
Speaker 1: They don't need your parent to be your best friend.

107
00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:36,120
Speaker 1: They don't need your parents to be your sugar daddy.

108
00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:40,080
Speaker 1: They want traditional parenting, and that's a mistake the parents

109
00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:43,320
Speaker 1: make in life and in divorce. There's no denying that

110
00:05:43,320 --> 00:05:46,760
Speaker 1: the Kardashians are a force to be competing with. Kanye

111
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:49,839
Speaker 1: struggled with when was he going to see his kids?

112
00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:53,440
Speaker 1: How could he get to be a part of what

113
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:55,560
Speaker 1: school they'd go to or what church they'd go to.

114
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:58,240
Speaker 1: Whether you like Kanye agree with him or not, it's

115
00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:02,279
Speaker 1: definitely the Kardashians have an infrastructure.

116
00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:06,120
Speaker 2: They have a dynasty.

117
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:13,400
Speaker 1: A power house structure, a layered structure of just so

118
00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:15,760
Speaker 1: many people and so much money and so much fame

119
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:18,360
Speaker 1: and so much power and so much influence and the shows, etc.

120
00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:20,400
Speaker 2: That it's hard to compete with that.

121
00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:23,800
Speaker 1: So, you know, if you're the ex wife of someone

122
00:06:23,839 --> 00:06:27,440
Speaker 1: and your kids are now being raised by Kardashians, how

123
00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:30,039
Speaker 1: can you possibly compete with that? That's like competing with

124
00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:33,960
Speaker 1: the royal family, you know. But as parents, it's important

125
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,120
Speaker 1: that you want the best for your kids. For me,

126
00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:38,479
Speaker 1: I want my child to have meaningful time with me

127
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:41,120
Speaker 1: and with her father. I want her to be around

128
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:44,960
Speaker 1: people that treat her well. I want her to be

129
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:49,320
Speaker 1: around yes, experiences that yes, we do have privilege and

130
00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:51,359
Speaker 1: she does get to do amazing, interesting things, but I

131
00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,960
Speaker 1: also want her to see what it's like for people

132
00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:57,200
Speaker 1: who can't afford to do lavish things. I want her

133
00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:00,240
Speaker 1: to have a well rounded, reasonable life to say her

134
00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:02,320
Speaker 1: up for success. I don't want to wrap her in

135
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,440
Speaker 1: Airmez bubble wrap and have her think that life is

136
00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:07,880
Speaker 1: just going to be so perfect and easy because it's

137
00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:10,320
Speaker 1: not textured, and you end up getting depressed and you

138
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:13,760
Speaker 1: end up being in some sort of void in some

139
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:17,400
Speaker 1: hole because you didn't do anything for yourself. There's something

140
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:20,520
Speaker 1: very strong to be said for building something on your own,

141
00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:24,440
Speaker 1: making money on your own, doing it yourself, having passion

142
00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:25,920
Speaker 1: accomplishing something.

143
00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:30,840
Speaker 2: And I think that parental alienation.

144
00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:34,840
Speaker 1: Is a term that is very serious but can also

145
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:38,160
Speaker 1: be overused because it's a very very serious term that

146
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:41,440
Speaker 1: judges take very seriously, and they don't rule in favor

147
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,080
Speaker 1: of it very often. It would have to be very

148
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:47,280
Speaker 1: hard to prove that one parent was systematically trying to

149
00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:47,880
Speaker 1: alienate

150
00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:50,520
Speaker 2: The child from the other