Speaker 1: Are you leave in I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 2: Either way, we want to be there. Doesn't matter how
Speaker 2: much baggage you claim and give us time and a
Speaker 2: terminol and gay a. We want to send you off InStyle.
Speaker 2: We want to welcome you back home. Tell us all
Speaker 2: about it.
Speaker 1: We scared her? Was it fine?
Speaker 3: Now? Porn?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need.
Speaker 4: With Karen and Chris welcome to Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: This is Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 1: And this is Karen kill Garraff. Hello Karen, Hello Chris.
Speaker 4: Before we introduce our guests, I just want to give
Speaker 4: a little background. He's like my older brother in comedy
Speaker 4: or bigger brother.
Speaker 1: Yeah, much larger.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's much larger.
Speaker 4: And also if I he might correct me later. But
Speaker 4: I believe one of the reasons you and I started
Speaker 4: podcasting together is as Jimmy suggested you as a possible
Speaker 4: podcast partner, and so did Greg Barrent. And that was
Speaker 4: all the all the research I'd done, but two out
Speaker 4: of two people said Karen Kilgarriff. And then after a
Speaker 4: year I mustered up the courage to ask you because
Speaker 4: I was a shy, scared boy. And look at us
Speaker 4: now listen, this podcast is fifty percent responsible, or I mean,
Speaker 4: you know what I mean for hard guest today, mister
Speaker 4: Jimmy Parno, was that my intro? It was Yeah, it
Speaker 4: was shoddy.
Speaker 1: It almost didn't happen.
Speaker 4: Yeah, real smokes. Yeah, not the best.
Speaker 5: I guess that's why I didn't know if I was
Speaker 5: supposed to jump in. Am I still waiting for the
Speaker 5: curtain to be open? So I walk out? Am I
Speaker 5: tripping over the curtain because I walked out too soon?
Speaker 3: You know what?
Speaker 4: That's how I feel. Sometimes I'm never not funny. Not
Speaker 4: to just hold the mirror. I don't know when to
Speaker 4: jump in. Sometimes it's unclear.
Speaker 3: It's very clear you're welcome to jump in any time.
Speaker 3: And and I give a nice ramp up.
Speaker 5: I give a nice Please welcome a funny guy. We
Speaker 5: just watched his special. My son thinks it's the funny,
Speaker 5: especially seen in ages. Please welcome Chris Fairbanks. I give
Speaker 5: a nice build up. Not this stutter stammer crap. Yeah,
Speaker 5: well it's my signature. Stutter scammer. Hard to understand.
Speaker 4: That's why I got the big Bucks fair Banks brand.
Speaker 1: Jimmy, how are you?
Speaker 3: I'm good, I'm honored to be here. What I find
Speaker 3: funny about this, guys, and I mean funny, weird, not funny, haha,
Speaker 3: clownish is you guys have asked me to do your
Speaker 3: program before. It never worked out.
Speaker 5: Nobody was ever interested in coming to Baldoon Hills to
Speaker 5: pick me up, to bring me anywhere. So it took
Speaker 5: a pandemic and me sitting in my own home to
Speaker 5: be on a show that involves being in a vehicle.
Speaker 4: That's right, Well, the silver lining is right now, you're safe.
Speaker 4: You know a lot of these people were putting their
Speaker 4: lines in their hands. We almost killed Eddie Pepatone. I
Speaker 4: don't think he was looking out the right window, but
Speaker 4: he he almost perished at our hands.
Speaker 6: We've had a lot of near misses on this podcast,
Speaker 6: a lot of danger.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: When you said he was looking out the window, could
Speaker 5: he see past the saliva that was covering the glass?
Speaker 4: Is that minor? His I guess spits a lot, is
Speaker 4: my points? Eddie spitz lot when he speaks. That's what
Speaker 4: defense I've been I have been at. Say it, don't
Speaker 4: spray it kid from the beginning.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I thought you just meant that I have a
Speaker 6: very messy car, which I was like, that's true.
Speaker 3: No insult somebody that's here. I take. I take swipes
Speaker 3: of people that can't defend themselves. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's the part of way, that's the brand.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Karen did used to have dog saliva on her
Speaker 4: back windows sometimes.
Speaker 5: I did not know that, so there therefore, that's why
Speaker 5: Karen stared at me through the zoom lens as if
Speaker 5: Pardo was saying the most offensive thing in the world.
Speaker 3: And I was like, holy crap, is Pepatone right behind me?
Speaker 3: Why is that the Jimmy?
Speaker 6: That's just my eyebrows. That's the way pencil my eyebrows,
Speaker 6: and it always looks like that.
Speaker 1: Dos I pencil them?
Speaker 4: D It's very jimmy.
Speaker 3: What do you say, Chris?
Speaker 4: It's very common these days. I wish that when you
Speaker 4: put on those glasses there was a little uh groucho
Speaker 4: marks eyebrows on them.
Speaker 3: That is what I wanted.
Speaker 1: Those are her specialty eyebrow glasses.
Speaker 3: What if what if I put.
Speaker 5: Them on and they were those Chinese glasses that people
Speaker 5: used to think were funny to put on oh boy,
Speaker 5: the hair, the little Chinese eyes in there.
Speaker 3: And people would like wear them them.
Speaker 6: The zoom would automatically end because it's twenty twenty one
Speaker 6: and you cannot do it anymore.
Speaker 3: Anywoll Carol, Let me see yourr Let me see your brows. Please.
Speaker 4: They are nice house, they have it.
Speaker 6: They cut thanks. I have that happened natural. I'm not
Speaker 6: really buying this from you.
Speaker 3: I think, yeah, they do. It's like little skepticism with
Speaker 3: the brow with a pencil brow. I think it was
Speaker 3: very nice. It looks very natural.
Speaker 5: I would not have known that you were penciling them
Speaker 5: in via the zoom.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 5: I don't know if if I get closer to you,
Speaker 5: and I don't know if Auberty is close that I
Speaker 5: would be so close.
Speaker 3: That I would know that it's pencil and not real hair.
Speaker 3: That would be very intimate.
Speaker 1: It's it's like I keep people at a distance.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like another man's shoes and shawshank. You're never
Speaker 4: really looking at someone's eyebrows. You're making full eye contact.
Speaker 6: Unless every once in a while I'll buy the wrong
Speaker 6: color because in the kind of eyebrow powder that I
Speaker 6: use there really is. There's about fifteen choices, and I've
Speaker 6: definitely used too dark where everything else looks kind of natural,
Speaker 6: and my rows look sharp, beat on like.
Speaker 1: It's very disturbing.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I've gone the wrong way many times, so you
Speaker 6: kind of know. But I think the thing these days
Speaker 6: is everyone is so good at eyebrows these days. This
Speaker 6: is the thing both of you would never be interested
Speaker 6: in talking about. But eyebrows are a real high art
Speaker 6: these days.
Speaker 1: And I will.
Speaker 3: Tell you this.
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, go ahead, Chris, No, No, I just want
Speaker 4: to say that it is the day for the man
Speaker 4: to pay attention to their eyebrows. I find when I
Speaker 4: let them mine go, I look like a college math professor.
Speaker 4: They curl, and the minute they touch my eyelid, I
Speaker 4: know it's time to pull out the groomer.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I have a hey.
Speaker 5: I'm always told whatever I'm on the whenever I when
Speaker 5: I used to do television shows, back when people gave
Speaker 5: a damn about me in my career, whenever they would
Speaker 5: do makeup, they would always say, in this particular eyebrow
Speaker 5: that I might I want to consider on my left eyebrow,
Speaker 5: consider getting a tattoo. My eyebrows tattooed on because I'm
Speaker 5: missing like a little part there of my eyebrow. So
Speaker 5: they suggested that so that it doesn't look penciled in
Speaker 5: when I am on camera, and I went, you know what,
Speaker 5: three times a.
Speaker 3: Year eight worth me getting a tattoo of eyebrows.
Speaker 6: Also, I would disagree or I would like to see
Speaker 6: I would love to see a camera test of that,
Speaker 6: because how is a tattoo looking better than the pencil?
Speaker 1: They are with you or she had lighton.
Speaker 3: She says that it would. I don't know the answer
Speaker 3: to that.
Speaker 1: So maybe it's just the way they do it.
Speaker 4: Technically, your first and only a tattoo would be a
Speaker 4: face tatt which is you know.
Speaker 3: Oh no, I have two tattoos, do you Yeah? I
Speaker 3: have a bright I got one on none of them
Speaker 3: and the other ones on your business.
Speaker 6: So that's so here and there is around your belly
Speaker 6: button and ankle, of course.
Speaker 5: I have a dolphin on my ale and a daisy
Speaker 5: on my belly bumbon. I have a on this arm,
Speaker 5: I nope, on this arm.
Speaker 3: I have a shark. On my right arm.
Speaker 5: I have a shark, and on my left arm, I
Speaker 5: have an anchor with Oliver's my son, Oliver's.
Speaker 3: Name on it. Oh, because he stabilizes me. See he's
Speaker 3: he keeps me, he keeps me stable.
Speaker 5: And it's a shark represent if I, if I knew,
Speaker 5: if I had a vocabulary, I would have said more, yes, yes,
Speaker 5: the shark is.
Speaker 3: I just I'm a big fan of sharks.
Speaker 5: I think they're they're neat and uh and I.
Speaker 3: As I jokingly always says, I love the sea. So
Speaker 3: that is the other Obviously, these would be the two
Speaker 3: tattoos Jimmy Parter would get. The other two would be
Speaker 3: never when I get tattoos. I had a little nervous
Speaker 3: breakdown when Oliver was born. Five weeks after he was born,
Speaker 3: I found myself getting a tattoo, thinking I had never
Speaker 3: done anything exciting with my life, and now I'm a father,
Speaker 3: I should do something.
Speaker 5: So I got a tattoo, and then when hey, that
Speaker 5: one seems lonely, I should get another tattoo.
Speaker 3: So that's why it's either that or a Corvette.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I couldn't afford that I could have worn
Speaker 5: a couple hundred bucks with some guy still smoking directly
Speaker 5: into my face while he put a tattoo on.
Speaker 6: I love the idea that a stand up comedian, like
Speaker 6: a lifelong stand up comedian that's been on TV and
Speaker 6: done all this stuff, you'd never done anything exciting with
Speaker 6: your life.
Speaker 1: What more do you want? Karen?
Speaker 3: Can I say? Can I tell you something?
Speaker 5: I have said this a thousand times, and you are
Speaker 5: the first person to understand how ridiculous it is that
Speaker 5: I think I've done nothing with Like, really, you lived
Speaker 5: out of your car, going across the country doing stand
Speaker 5: up at saloons.
Speaker 3: You did something, You did do daring things.
Speaker 6: It's the one thing most people say will say to you,
Speaker 6: I could never do what thing to do? I could
Speaker 6: never do that, could never stand up in front of
Speaker 6: five people and speak much less two hundred every night,
Speaker 6: new material, blah blah blah. Right, Yeah, but that's I
Speaker 6: think that's what we all do. Comedians never appreciate how
Speaker 6: hard comedy is because we can do it, so it's
Speaker 6: it doesn't feel as big of a deal.
Speaker 4: Yes, I feel like I I haven't lived life because
Speaker 4: I've never had a nine to five job, which is
Speaker 4: quite the opposite of what everyone wants.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's exactly the opposite of what we were talking about. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: but I get you're hey, can I can I shoehorn
Speaker 3: this in real fast one time?
Speaker 5: And this goes back to the eyebrows, and it was
Speaker 5: really the only time that I would This is the
Speaker 5: one hundred per cent of this is the first time
Speaker 5: I ever noted somebody's eyebrows. And now I can't stop
Speaker 5: looking at people's eyebrows. I was on a I was
Speaker 5: on a flight from Los Angeles to Dallas. I was
Speaker 5: on an American Airline. Salute that tail, it's got a
Speaker 5: flag on.
Speaker 3: It, and.
Speaker 5: I'm sitting next to somebody, and I don't recognize. At first,
Speaker 5: I don't recognize who that person is, and then I
Speaker 5: recognize that. I see that, I recognize that face, and
Speaker 5: now I recognize that face, and then I recognized that face.
Speaker 3: And then the woman who sat behind me.
Speaker 5: She and her daughter started talking to me because at
Speaker 5: the time, I had a UCB sweatshirt jacket on. And
Speaker 5: she said, I guess the younger kids call those hoodies.
Speaker 3: And sweater jacket. I call a sweater jacket.
Speaker 5: So she she says, hey, my daughter takes classes at
Speaker 5: the UCB, And I said, oh, oh, I started with
Speaker 5: those guys met and I started in Chicago. I started
Speaker 5: with all the guys that run the UCB. I started
Speaker 5: with them, do we stand up? And they're like, oh,
Speaker 5: you're standing And that woman turns out to be Charlene Tilton.
Speaker 5: TV showed Dallas and then I said, what are you doing?
Speaker 5: She goes, oh, we're going to a convention. It's a
Speaker 5: Dallas Reunion convention. I was like, that's where I recognize everybody.
Speaker 5: And so it then dawned to me that I'm literally
Speaker 5: the only person in first class.
Speaker 3: I was bumped up. I got points bumped up on
Speaker 3: points in the world.
Speaker 5: So I'm the only person in first class that was
Speaker 5: not a member of the Dallas cast. And I turned
Speaker 5: next to me to I, well, who's the guy next
Speaker 5: to me? And he turns to me and says hello
Speaker 5: and goes He raises his eyebrows up and down in
Speaker 5: a crazy manner, and it was Larry Hagman and his
Speaker 5: eyebrows though had their own plane ticket. That's how bananas
Speaker 5: his eyebrows were like. They were like.
Speaker 3: Nobody said, hey, Larry, cut those things like they were
Speaker 3: they were literally three inches off of his face.
Speaker 5: They were insane. Old man was he jr? Ewing that
Speaker 5: that actor that was major Healey from I Dream of Jeanie.
Speaker 4: I never I never made it past the opening sequence
Speaker 4: of the Dallas Skyline. I never watched a minute of
Speaker 4: that program was to me either.
Speaker 3: For me, it's so good.
Speaker 6: We get that was if we like were getting babysat
Speaker 6: or there was something happening where our parents weren't paying attention,
Speaker 6: you got to watch Dallas. So there was this extra
Speaker 6: thrill where you're just like, look at Bobby and what's
Speaker 6: her name? Talking to each other, like we would watch
Speaker 6: it as if it was the most wonderful, amazing show.
Speaker 6: And when I think I was probably eight years old
Speaker 6: or so, when the whole who shot Jr? The most
Speaker 6: brilliant like television publicity idea of all time, which is JR,
Speaker 6: who was like the big mean guy on the show,
Speaker 6: gets shot, no one knows who did it, and then
Speaker 6: there's it's like an entire season dedicated to figuring out
Speaker 6: on a show that's otherwise just a nighttime soap opera.
Speaker 6: It turned into like a crime procedural.
Speaker 5: We also spent the entire because it was a cliffhanger
Speaker 5: from one season to the next. And when I say we,
Speaker 5: I mean the country spent the entire summer talking about
Speaker 5: who shot JR. So Heark's point, like it got a
Speaker 5: morning radio talked about it, Evening radio talked about it,
Speaker 5: middays talked about overnights.
Speaker 3: Everybodys talking about in radio.
Speaker 1: Yeah, different times.
Speaker 6: Back then it was there were four networks or three networks,
Speaker 6: so like we all were watching the same shows and
Speaker 6: talking about it. I mean it was like you kind
Speaker 6: of had no choice. But yeah, who shot Jr? Was
Speaker 6: a very big deal.
Speaker 3: I remember we were a Dynasty household. I go ahead.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I keep interacting. No, no zoom leg. I'm not
Speaker 3: being rude. It's the zoom leg.
Speaker 1: It's zoom.
Speaker 4: When I said, j are you ing, I thought, maybe, uh, oh,
Speaker 4: this is Dynasty. They are the same shows to me.
Speaker 4: I do not know the difference. One takes place in Texas,
Speaker 4: That's all I know.
Speaker 5: Like I said, we were a Dynasty house and I
Speaker 5: couldn't tell you where that was. Maybe New York, La
Speaker 5: is La.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Oh, we weren't allowed to watch Dynasty.
Speaker 3: Oh for some reason.
Speaker 1: That was like they drew the line. I don't know.
Speaker 6: I think all of it was against the rules, But
Speaker 6: like the one we would try to watch if we
Speaker 6: could was Dallas, And maybe it was because it was
Speaker 6: like a little country and there was kind of like
Speaker 6: that relatable like look at they have a ranch, whereas
Speaker 6: Dynasty was just like very fancy, rich people, you know,
Speaker 6: coming downstairs and yelling at each other and stuff.
Speaker 3: I got that was every episode, Every episode had some
Speaker 3: rich person using the stairs to full effect.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's why I wasn't allowed to watch it. My
Speaker 4: parents did not ever want me to know. We were
Speaker 4: simply middle to.
Speaker 1: Lower class, like where are our stairs?
Speaker 4: Yeah, if you don't see it on TV, you think
Speaker 4: you're rich. I think only rich kids have their father
Speaker 4: make their toys out of wood for them, I'm rich.
Speaker 6: What was Jimmy at that time? What was your favorite?
Speaker 6: Like what was a point and TV for you? Was
Speaker 6: it Dallas or Dynasty?
Speaker 4: Or was there Dynasty?
Speaker 6: Uh?
Speaker 5: Well, I mean sitcoms? Was you know, Happy Days, Learn
Speaker 5: and Shirley, Welcome Back, Caught Her, Chico and the Man.
Speaker 3: There was one more of the way that we always
Speaker 3: talked about.
Speaker 5: And then of course TV and Started Life, Started Life.
Speaker 5: Stanford Somewhere was a little bit before that. We watched
Speaker 5: that reruns more than anything else. Yeah, wa TVs appreciation. Uh,
Speaker 5: and then the dramas were we would watch Love Boat
Speaker 5: Fantasy Island every Saturday.
Speaker 3: That would be me. That was that was that was
Speaker 3: no question appointment TV. To watch those two shows back
Speaker 3: to back.
Speaker 6: Fantasy Island was such a good idea for the whole
Speaker 6: like whole family, because we were watching like anything can happen,
Speaker 6: but it was always, of course adult stuff that would
Speaker 6: be happening. Do you remember the one where Barbie Benton
Speaker 6: I think it was Barbie Benton.
Speaker 1: She was fat and then.
Speaker 6: Her fantasy was that she would be thin, and so
Speaker 6: then she she was like basically in a fat suit
Speaker 6: in the beginning, and then she went running through the
Speaker 6: jungle and when she came back oach she had a
Speaker 6: revett and body.
Speaker 1: I think it was her.
Speaker 6: It was like that was one of those things I
Speaker 6: was like, well, this show is incredible, Like it to
Speaker 6: me was the most brilliant writing of all time.
Speaker 4: Except what about running through a jungle makes you drop
Speaker 4: that kind of weight? The humidity?
Speaker 3: Oh it's humidity, I think, Chris, Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, just with one jungle run.
Speaker 1: She went to a magical part of the jungle.
Speaker 4: Oh gotcha, gotcha?
Speaker 5: She uh Karen, I guess you you kind of answer
Speaker 5: this what I'm curious. I don't think I understood what
Speaker 5: that Fantasy Island was adult stuff.
Speaker 3: I don't think I understood the the uh.
Speaker 5: The layers of Fantasy Island when I was a kid.
Speaker 5: I think I just liked, Hey, Sonny Bono is singing
Speaker 5: like I think it was like that aspect of it
Speaker 5: that I.
Speaker 1: Liked I was little, and the other guys.
Speaker 5: Yeah, the guy talks funny. Hey, speaking of Barbie Betten,
Speaker 5: I've been binging McLoud. That is, That's what I've I've
Speaker 5: already gone through Kojak and Colombo and all that, so
Speaker 5: I'm on to McLoud and Barbie Benton was recently playing.
Speaker 5: She was a country music singer on McLoud. And guess
Speaker 5: who can't sing?
Speaker 1: Herbie?
Speaker 3: Yeah, not very good singing.
Speaker 1: They were just letting her actually do the singing.
Speaker 5: She was doing the singing, And it must have been
Speaker 5: very hard to find an actual gorgeous woman in Los Angeles.
Speaker 5: They could sing at that time. Yeah, apparently.
Speaker 4: Yeah, they lesed to cast things just based on headshots.
Speaker 4: I think you never had to wish into a room
Speaker 4: singing dance. There's no dubbing had best date by ten Or.
Speaker 6: What if it was a thing where Barbie Benton wanted
Speaker 6: to go into music and this was her like some
Speaker 6: power agent was just like, you will cast her and
Speaker 6: she will sing it herself, and then that's what it
Speaker 6: turned out.
Speaker 5: What maybe that makes more sense because otherwise I don't
Speaker 5: understand why she was the choice.
Speaker 3: Yeah, me too, that I'm wrong. She was on Broadway
Speaker 3: for seventeen years.
Speaker 6: It's just your personal tasty. You don't like her style sing,
Speaker 6: you know what?
Speaker 3: Yeh, the hell of mine? Maybe she has a wonderful
Speaker 3: recording career, it's just not your bag.
Speaker 6: The show that I love from that era and love
Speaker 6: to watch reruns of now it like it's so satisfying
Speaker 6: in so many ways, is hard to heart because they
Speaker 6: it's all the and I wonder if you saw the
Speaker 6: same thing. And I don't remember McCloud specifically, but back then,
Speaker 6: like late seventies early eighties TV, they did a lot.
Speaker 1: Of everything was real time.
Speaker 6: They wouldn't cut to like, hey, we're going to go
Speaker 6: to that We're going to go investigate that building. Then
Speaker 6: they'd show the people walking to their car, heading in,
Speaker 6: driving to the building, getting out, taking the elevator up.
Speaker 6: It was invensane and I think now I realized it.
Speaker 1: They were just.
Speaker 6: Killing time and then our long drama and they were
Speaker 6: it was kind of filler. But it's stuff that as
Speaker 6: I watch it, it makes like and hard to heart.
Speaker 6: They drive all over Los Angeles, so you can see
Speaker 6: like nineteen eighty Los Angeles in those episodes.
Speaker 1: It's the best.
Speaker 3: I love it, I was telling Dandiell. I was why
Speaker 3: I went through a that girl phase during the pandemic
Speaker 3: and I lasted about a season and a half and
Speaker 3: then I was like, I can't take the show any warry.
Speaker 3: But I loved it.
Speaker 5: But they like they literally would show Anne leave the
Speaker 5: shoot okay, I'll be right down, like somebody would say
Speaker 5: I'm at the front door, and they would or I'm leaving,
Speaker 5: and she would leave her apartment. They would show relieve
Speaker 5: apartment used to elevator go down and then wait out.
Speaker 5: They would show her waiting outside and then flagging the
Speaker 5: car down like kid, and then.
Speaker 3: The car driving away with her in it. All of
Speaker 3: that was included I and I loved it.
Speaker 4: Yes, I guess that is how I noticed that Dragon.
Speaker 4: I had to watch a bunch of old Dragnet episodes
Speaker 4: because we were doing that green screen thing where I
Speaker 4: get thrown in and then not only did they show
Speaker 4: the driving across town and the entering of buildings, it
Speaker 4: was part of the narration, like they'd say, four thirty
Speaker 4: eight pm, we drove to the building and went inside,
Speaker 4: and it shows there's like narration. If if it's not
Speaker 4: enough to just watch it, there's also a confirmation with narration.
Speaker 3: That's what you're seeing.
Speaker 1: What you're seeing is what's.
Speaker 4: Happening, and it's time stamped. Also for half that's half
Speaker 4: the episode.
Speaker 6: What was Remington Steele used to do that too, there's
Speaker 6: a Remington Steel was very much like we better go
Speaker 6: and take take a look and investigate. And then it
Speaker 6: would be a four minute scene of them driving to
Speaker 6: a place that was four minutes away from where they were.
Speaker 3: And that's awesome.
Speaker 4: Again, that's the same show It's Heart to Heart for Me,
Speaker 4: which one had Robert Wagner Hard to heart Okay, Pierce
Speaker 4: brad Yeah, he's a handsome guy.
Speaker 3: Huh, Jimmy, I will never use any excuse not to
Speaker 3: mention that when he was backstage when I worked at
Speaker 3: Conad O'Brian on a regular basis and I was in
Speaker 3: the green room and just watching the show on the monitor,
Speaker 3: and all of a sudden, next to me.
Speaker 5: I didn't, I didn't, I didn't see who it was,
Speaker 5: but I just felt stardom standing next to me. And
Speaker 5: then I turned to my left and out of his
Speaker 5: dressing room watching the show on monitor, and the monitor
Speaker 5: as well in the in the group green room was
Speaker 5: the most handed, some prettiest man I've ever seen in
Speaker 5: my life.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like Corinthian Leather.
Speaker 3: Oh I'm not kidding. I've never seen a more handsome
Speaker 3: human being on this planet.
Speaker 6: Yeah, because he also has It's like the expression on
Speaker 6: his face constantly is pure confidence, you know what I mean.
Speaker 6: Like it's like he's kind of surveying the room, like
Speaker 6: who's good enough to be near me?
Speaker 1: No one in here like it.
Speaker 6: He has the you know, it's fascinating and I love
Speaker 6: having myself worked on a talk show. There really are
Speaker 6: these people that have it where like you can feel
Speaker 6: them coming. There's like when you're in the room with them,
Speaker 6: you're just like, holy shit, there they are, like you
Speaker 6: can feel them an aura of specialness.
Speaker 3: It's bananas.
Speaker 5: And by the way, to that point, what I very
Speaker 5: It was rare when somebody would come out of their
Speaker 5: dressing room to watch the show in the green room,
Speaker 5: and so it was.
Speaker 3: Always like, can you believe that?
Speaker 5: How don't earth that guy is so like you would
Speaker 5: never think Paris Brosna would be one of those guys.
Speaker 5: You would think he'd behind closed doors looking in a mirror.
Speaker 5: But he came out and joined in was talking like,
Speaker 5: I'm fascinated by that because I'm with you, like you
Speaker 5: just feel that stardom come at you. Yeah, but then
Speaker 5: there's others that you go, I don't get why you're
Speaker 5: the lead guest.
Speaker 1: All right, okay, all right, well okay, I.
Speaker 3: Guess we'll get through this. All right.
Speaker 4: I get that when I was been in the same
Speaker 4: room as John Hamm, who I think is your friend,
Speaker 4: and I had that same feeling. I'm like, I didn't
Speaker 4: know what to say. I was tongue tied, which I
Speaker 4: usually am anyway. But he yeah, he's got that look
Speaker 4: about him where I'm like, you can just smell the
Speaker 4: handsomeness coming off.
Speaker 3: Now listen, Chris is handsome.
Speaker 5: And by the way, let's make no mistake, Yes, John
Speaker 5: is my friend, but he is one of the most
Speaker 5: handsome men on the planet. Brosden wins. Yeah, yeah, Brosnen
Speaker 5: beats John Hamm. That's how handsome Pierce Brosnen is.
Speaker 1: You know what, because John ham could, You wouldn't want.
Speaker 6: To cast him as a regular guy, but if you
Speaker 6: had to, you could, like in those times times where
Speaker 6: his character on Madmen was, you know, super drunk and
Speaker 6: fucked up and whatever. You're like, oh yeah, it looks
Speaker 6: kind of rough. You can't do that to Pierce Brows
Speaker 6: good luck. You can mess his hair up a little bit,
Speaker 6: but the face is going to stay the same.
Speaker 3: They made his hair askew.
Speaker 4: I think for Matador, where he's like a washed up
Speaker 4: guy living in a hotel.
Speaker 1: Skill hanswer, that's a great movie. Yeah, Matador him.
Speaker 4: Yeah, everyone write that down.
Speaker 1: Also, it's such a good one.
Speaker 4: Jimmy, you your interview with John Hamm with for your
Speaker 4: behind the scenes what was your conan behind the scenes
Speaker 4: interview show?
Speaker 3: The part of Patrol is that online.
Speaker 4: It's so funny and it was fun to see how
Speaker 4: funny John Hamm is because you don't know that he
Speaker 4: is a comedically trained he's legit hilaric.
Speaker 3: Right, Hey, well, I say thank you on both of
Speaker 3: our behalfs it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it's great. Yeah, you're both you're good in
Speaker 4: it too. That's what I meant to say.
Speaker 3: Oh, thank you.
Speaker 4: And you call it the podcast and he's like, that's
Speaker 4: not what this is though, and then I.
Speaker 3: Said let's do it again. He's like, nope, because.
Speaker 4: My sister went to see you do stand up somewhere.
Speaker 4: I don't remember. You've met my sister Spokane?
Speaker 3: Was it Spokane?
Speaker 4: And I made her watch that interview first, and it's
Speaker 4: her favorite. She memorized it, makes references to it like
Speaker 4: it was a movie that is very funny.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, thank you very much. And it was a
Speaker 3: delight meeting your your sister.
Speaker 5: And I think she felt that she was taking up
Speaker 5: my time and that was not the case.
Speaker 3: Like was like, no, I welcome talking to somebody please.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah.
Speaker 4: She's always very careful and apologietic about but she'll yeah,
Speaker 4: she'll she'll talk to you. She's the best.
Speaker 3: But she didn't. I had to chase her down. I
Speaker 3: forced her into the back of the car to have
Speaker 3: a conversation with me.
Speaker 4: Right, yeah, I remember she called me she said, joke
Speaker 4: one has he ever kidnapped someone before? And I'm like,
Speaker 4: he can't.
Speaker 1: Get in the trunk to have a conversation. It's very odd.
Speaker 3: I listen, it's quiet, you're not bothered by anybody. He
Speaker 3: has a light in my mouth. It's a muffled.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 3: You know what.
Speaker 5: Another time, I was at the Barnes and Noble at
Speaker 5: the Grove and I was checking out and then the
Speaker 5: other the other cashier said I'll take the next customer here,
Speaker 5: and Stardom came next to me. And it took me
Speaker 5: a second because this was years past his prime and
Speaker 5: it was Matt Dylan. And it was one of those
Speaker 5: times where I was like, not only understand when people
Speaker 5: say I discovered somebody at the soda shop, because if
Speaker 5: I was an agent, I would have gone up to
Speaker 5: that guy and went, I don't know who you are,
Speaker 5: but we're signing a contract today. Like it was, there
Speaker 5: was something magic happening with Matt Dylan buying a magazine.
Speaker 6: Matt Dylan is mine and my sister's like, you know,
Speaker 6: grammar school, like very early crush. He was in his
Speaker 6: prime when we were you know, twelve or whatever, and
Speaker 6: always loved him. My sister kind of loved him the most.
Speaker 6: I was more of a Scott Bao girl. He's well,
Speaker 6: those Italians. But Matt Dylan, I mean he was just
Speaker 6: like heart throbbed. He was undeniable. So cut to when
Speaker 6: I'm twenty and I'm in San Francisco working at the
Speaker 6: Gap and it's the end of like an eight hour
Speaker 6: shift and I'm over by the dressing rooms, folding down
Speaker 6: a bunch of sweaters and sweaty I haven't I put
Speaker 6: on makeup eight hours previous, you know.
Speaker 1: And it's the Gap. Nothing ever happened there.
Speaker 6: It was the one that's in the upper market where
Speaker 6: it's kind of like you're not in the Castro yet
Speaker 6: you're in this weird, you know, man's land. And it
Speaker 6: was just a you know, boring retail job. And we're
Speaker 6: sitting there and I look up and Matt Dylan walks
Speaker 6: in the store, and I swear to god, I was
Speaker 6: just like, how how Like I don't even get to
Speaker 6: brush my hair or have one moment of like a
Speaker 6: little bit of powder or something.
Speaker 1: And as I'm watching him, I'm I'm starstruck.
Speaker 6: I mean, it was like I felt him on the
Speaker 6: sidewalk coming through the door and he comes in.
Speaker 1: I probably have told the story Chris on this show
Speaker 1: before No No, which this is.
Speaker 6: It's one of my faves, because you in San Francisco,
Speaker 6: you would get famous people, like there are people who
Speaker 6: lived in the city, but it was like Alice Walker
Speaker 6: and Tracy Chapman, you know what I mean. It would
Speaker 6: be people who had been very We live in San Francisco,
Speaker 6: so it's maybe. I ran into Robin Williams one time
Speaker 6: at Green Apple Books. Literally was looking down at my
Speaker 6: feet as I was walking, looked up.
Speaker 1: And it was him, and he was like, excuse men.
Speaker 1: Gave me a smile.
Speaker 6: But other than that, there was no chance of a
Speaker 6: celebrity sighting in San Francisco.
Speaker 1: And it's fucking Matt Dillon.
Speaker 6: So it's he. It's just the most beautiful man. And
Speaker 6: as I'm watching him walk in, my friend Jason has
Speaker 6: spotted him from the back of the store and is
Speaker 6: running toward the cash register to be the one to
Speaker 6: help him. But our manager Corby was there first. And
Speaker 6: Corby was the best. He was so funny, he was
Speaker 6: really nice, but he was a little bit of like
Speaker 6: an airhead and you know what I mean, just kind
Speaker 6: of like not paying attention type of guy. And Mac
Speaker 6: Dylan walks up to Corby and goes, hey, man, can
Speaker 6: I use your phone? Some guys following me. I need
Speaker 6: to call a cab And Krby picks up the phone
Speaker 6: and puts on the Hunter and goes, that happens to
Speaker 6: me all the time. He had no idea it was
Speaker 6: not Dylan, and just like no, no, we both went
Speaker 6: up and just kind of like wiped the counterdown for
Speaker 6: no reason, just so we could be nearby.
Speaker 3: Like it was.
Speaker 1: We couldn't believe it. It was like a miracle.
Speaker 4: Why was Corby being followed around? Was he a famous
Speaker 4: gap manager?
Speaker 6: No? He was basically saying that because they were most
Speaker 6: of the guys that worked at that gap were gay,
Speaker 6: and basically it was just like some He just assumed
Speaker 6: it was another gay guy that was like some some
Speaker 6: drunk guy out of a bar. Was like being too
Speaker 6: pushy or something. Yeah, is that cruising mentality?
Speaker 3: It was a guy cruising.
Speaker 6: I think I had these I had people follow me too.
Speaker 6: Don't worry, You're not alone.
Speaker 4: It was like, you're not special, You're not special, beauty. Yes,
Speaker 4: was that the gap that was right by the punchline?
Speaker 4: Kind of? Was it in the Oh? No, that's where
Speaker 4: I know.
Speaker 6: That's the Ambarcadero, so we were we were way up market,
Speaker 6: out of even then, like if you were at the Umbarcadero,
Speaker 6: Like I one time went to the movie theater that
Speaker 6: was there when we were all up there for Sketch Fest,
Speaker 6: and I went to see the Amy Winehouse documentary and
Speaker 6: walked out and was like crying because it was so
Speaker 6: amazing and beautiful, and came around the corner and Pat Carney,
Speaker 6: the drummer for the.
Speaker 4: Jimmy you know that.
Speaker 3: No, that's it's drummer.
Speaker 6: So I don't know the Black Keys, thank you, Steven. Yes,
Speaker 6: the drummer for the Black Keys is just standing on
Speaker 6: the sidewalk, and I was just like, what the fuck,
Speaker 6: Like it was so shocking because it just kind of
Speaker 6: doesn't happen in San Francisco. But if it's going to happen,
Speaker 6: it would happen downtown, like you know what I mean,
Speaker 6: that's like where people go. The upper you know, like
Speaker 6: Upper Castros or the upper Upper Market area is just
Speaker 6: kind of out of.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's all over there, not an exciting spot.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Karen, are you okay? You kind of lost interest
Speaker 3: in your own story there at.
Speaker 6: When I couldn't think of the name of the Black Keys,
Speaker 6: and I just started thinking, why do I Why am
Speaker 6: I still podcast?
Speaker 4: I was just I was thankful that it steered me
Speaker 4: away from my boring gap story. I was about to
Speaker 4: talk about underwear I bought and the the car I got.
Speaker 4: Oh great, now I'm telling the story.
Speaker 1: I just yourself out of it.
Speaker 4: I got a gap credit card and I didn't know
Speaker 4: what that meant, and it turned into debt. Anyway, I
Speaker 4: still have those underwear today, and I wear them out
Speaker 4: of out of revenge for that debt.
Speaker 3: That'll show them.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that will show those underwear.
Speaker 3: That'll get them.
Speaker 5: I was just going to I was just gonna tell Chris,
Speaker 5: you could also use that credit card Banana Republic.
Speaker 6: That was it.
Speaker 3: That's all I was going to say. That's all I
Speaker 3: at the time.
Speaker 4: I think I knew that, and I love their slacks,
Speaker 4: so I would have I love the cure saying their
Speaker 4: slacks at the time.
Speaker 6: One of my favorite jokes when we worked on Zach
Speaker 6: califhan Akis's talk show, I believe it's called Up All
Speaker 6: Night or something like that or Friday Night. Uh. When
Speaker 6: this people from v H one, which is the network
Speaker 6: it was on, would come to like the executives would
Speaker 6: come to give us notes. Zach used to call them
Speaker 6: the bananas because they all wore Banana.
Speaker 1: Republic clothes, so you'd be like, the bananas are on
Speaker 1: their way.
Speaker 6: Anyway, I was just going to ask you, aside from
Speaker 6: these ones that we just talked about, do you have
Speaker 6: a do you have a favorite star sighting? Like not
Speaker 6: at work, where you would of course see stars, but
Speaker 6: like in the wild.
Speaker 5: You know, my very first one ever was I was
Speaker 5: out in it is what I was going to the
Speaker 5: I think it was when I was going to the
Speaker 5: American Academy for Medic Arts and I went to a
Speaker 5: movie theater and which is now closed on Pico. And
Speaker 5: I don't even remember why I was at that movie theater,
Speaker 5: but I came out of the bathroom and I thought
Speaker 5: of this, because of what you said about Robin Williams.
Speaker 5: I kind of wasn't paying any attention, and I turned
Speaker 5: the corner and my face went directly into this man's
Speaker 5: chest and it was Gary Busey, And so I turned
Speaker 5: the corner, smashed my face into Gary Busey's chest and
Speaker 5: then looked up and just went, I panted, and I went,
Speaker 5: I love you, and then I walked away.
Speaker 3: I didn't know what to do. And then so many many, many, many, many, many,
Speaker 3: many many many men, many.
Speaker 5: Many years later, I was going to see my doctor,
Speaker 5: doctor Joe Sugarman in Beverly Hills, Aaron O's Throat, guid
Speaker 5: to the Stars. Oh and Sugarman, everybody goes to the sweet,
Speaker 5: sweet Sugarman. Paul Stanley of Kissed, Everybody goes to him. Now, listen,
Speaker 5: here's the thing. So I'm turning the corner off of
Speaker 5: a little Santa Monica onto what whatever that street is,
Speaker 5: and I see a guy staring at there's a bronze
Speaker 5: statue of two kids flying a kite, you know, some sculpture,
Speaker 5: and there's a guy staring at it. And then he
Speaker 5: salutes it.
Speaker 3: And then he turns around and it's Gary Busey, and
Speaker 3: he goes he goes by right, gives a little all right,
Speaker 3: and salutes it, and then he looks at me. He
Speaker 3: goes beautiful in it. And I don't really know what
Speaker 3: he was.
Speaker 5: If he was saluting them flying a metal kite in
Speaker 5: the wind, if he liked the artistic approach, I don't
Speaker 5: know what he liked, but I liked that I got
Speaker 5: to see him saluting it.
Speaker 3: Did you see I still love you? Scary if I
Speaker 3: met There was a time back in nineteen eighty seven
Speaker 3: where I ran into you. You were hot off of
Speaker 3: the Buddy Holly story.
Speaker 4: Somewhere in between those sightings, he had a horrific motorcycle rack,
Speaker 4: and I think he became a different, perhaps might I say,
Speaker 4: strange person after that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, he was not the same guy that I ran
Speaker 5: into at the movie theater. There's no doubt about that rise.
Speaker 6: Although have you ever been caught in public doing a
Speaker 6: thing because you thought no one was around? I one
Speaker 6: time there used to be a bookstore in the Beverly Connection,
Speaker 6: and I was in there one night and saw a
Speaker 6: book that was I think it was some kind of
Speaker 6: a Menner from Mars Wimmer. There was like that mena
Speaker 6: for Mars women are from Venus trend that went crazy wher.
Speaker 6: It was just like man and women have nothing to
Speaker 6: do with each other, and they'll never understand each other,
Speaker 6: and you have to do these things and actually you all.
Speaker 1: Hate each other.
Speaker 6: And so there was some book I was reading the
Speaker 6: cover of and then I just started laughing and I
Speaker 6: kicked the book and it was just I was just
Speaker 6: by myself.
Speaker 1: And just was like fuck you. And right at the.
Speaker 6: Same time, this guy I knew Dave was coming around
Speaker 6: the corner and he started like I basically got caught
Speaker 6: doing something I thought. I was just by myself having
Speaker 6: a moment with this book, and he completely caught me
Speaker 6: being a complete weirdo.
Speaker 1: It was really embarrassing and funny.
Speaker 6: So sometimes that just happens when you're just like, hey,
Speaker 6: I salute good art, right and.
Speaker 5: You don't you don't know if some reason, well who
Speaker 5: cares good for Gary Busey for enjoying his life.
Speaker 3: That's what I say.
Speaker 1: Just do it, Just go for it.
Speaker 3: Just do it.
Speaker 4: Nike it up, Jimmy. How many times? There's two that
Speaker 4: stand out the mouse, but I opened for you in
Speaker 4: many a city and many some we had scary We
Speaker 4: did some scary gigs together.
Speaker 1: Road dog stories.
Speaker 3: Well there's Rooster t.
Speaker 4: Feathers where the guy there was a guy on a
Speaker 4: speakerphone or he had a bluetooth and he was having
Speaker 4: a full volume conversation where you could hear the other person.
Speaker 4: And then I said, don't you have a dogfight to
Speaker 4: be betting on? And then he waited, he waited in
Speaker 4: the parking lot and they wouldn't let us leave because
Speaker 4: he said, I'm going to kill that guy, and so
Speaker 4: I had to wait in the club with the night spent.
Speaker 4: But the time you and I did that bench sure,
Speaker 4: there is a New Year's show that we did at
Speaker 4: the Venture A comedy club, and I mean, do you
Speaker 4: want to take the reins on this story?
Speaker 3: I sure it?
Speaker 5: Uh and if I don't, if I don't nail this,
Speaker 5: please remind me. So it was Boris Hamilton was mc ing. Yeah,
Speaker 5: you were. You were the feature act, and I of course.
Speaker 3: Was headlining as I would from show business and yes, so,
Speaker 3: uh sense what at the time?
Speaker 1: Yes, so, Jimmy, you weird?
Speaker 5: No mis understood, I'm I'm closing it arc Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 5: he was a job what made it really bizarre? Okay,
Speaker 5: So we did a show the night before New Year's Eve,
Speaker 5: which I believe is on the thirtieth of December, and.
Speaker 3: We're uh and it went okay. The show went okay,
Speaker 3: but the owner of the club panicked and called all
Speaker 3: of us and uh what threatened to fire everybody.
Speaker 5: Told me I'm gonna fire everybody. I'm firing everybody. If
Speaker 5: you guys don't pick it up for you know you guys,
Speaker 5: they better have good first shows or they're or they're fired,
Speaker 5: and I'll find two other people open for you for
Speaker 5: the New Year show.
Speaker 4: Yeah, didn't he say he almost fired Boris at one
Speaker 4: point after the first that wasn't up to snuff. He's gone,
Speaker 4: wait a minute, it's one show, and he was.
Speaker 3: And by the way, it wasn't all that shitty. It
Speaker 3: was fine, it was fine. Yeah, well we were.
Speaker 5: We expect a lot more on MC's you can't you're
Speaker 5: a you're a tourist trap. So he he puts the
Speaker 5: fear of God in everybody that if it doesn't if
Speaker 5: the first show doesn't go well, you're all fired, and
Speaker 5: so like, yeah, exactly, like everybody's on their heels. So
Speaker 5: then the second show. So, by the way, first show
Speaker 5: goes great, nobody gets.
Speaker 3: Fired and uh he So the second show starts, Boris
Speaker 3: on stage. Uh, Chris goes up, and this guy and
Speaker 3: his wife are are bothering Chris. They're they're they're heckling
Speaker 3: Chris NonStop.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 4: A guy who looks like g Gordon Liddy is the
Speaker 4: best way to describe me. I actually remember him as
Speaker 4: the bare knuckle boxer, the bald guy with the curly
Speaker 4: mustache and Indiana Jones that he fights next to the airplane.
Speaker 4: To me, he looked like an old time a boxer
Speaker 4: where his knuckles at beat towards his face.
Speaker 3: He's the old guy, like the old the weightlifter guy
Speaker 3: who is like a cartoon. Yeah, we're with the wrong weights.
Speaker 3: And he's bald and he's got the mustache.
Speaker 4: Before the show, he was outside and he said, these
Speaker 4: motherfuckers better be funny. While he is outside tweaking and
Speaker 4: smoking menthols. Okay, yeah, continue.
Speaker 5: So so he and his lady friend are disrupting Chris,
Speaker 5: and Chris is dealing with it but also trying to
Speaker 5: do his act. And he also Chris is also going, well,
Speaker 5: I can't do everything I need to do because Pardo
Speaker 5: needs to go up next to so I don't. I
Speaker 5: can't sabotage the show by completely destroying this guy because
Speaker 5: that will ruin everybody's New Year's Eve.
Speaker 3: So, which is a professional thing to do.
Speaker 5: Other guys would go, hey, it's my time, and I
Speaker 5: got a fucking my men, there's still a show you
Speaker 5: got to do, and Chris, Chris knew that and so
Speaker 5: thank you I got up on stage and Chris did great.
Speaker 3: And then I get up there and the guy, I
Speaker 3: forget what he said to me, uh, and.
Speaker 4: He was on his phone and he said, oh, just
Speaker 4: watching some short mother smart ass, short smart ass. I
Speaker 4: think it was something like that.
Speaker 5: It was something like that. And then but and I lost.
Speaker 5: I just was like, you know what, I I'm not
Speaker 5: like the other guys. I'm not going to fucking tolerate
Speaker 5: your shit or something like that. And then he like,
Speaker 5: are you talking to me? But exactly I'm talking to you,
Speaker 5: and I'm now, of course, my heart is pounding like
Speaker 5: it's never been, you know, like like it's never pounded
Speaker 5: that hard, because like I'm about to die like this
Speaker 5: guy's so he stands up and like it's it's almost
Speaker 5: like a joke, like if it was Scooby Doo, his
Speaker 5: shadow would have attacked me.
Speaker 3: Like it was that huge of a man.
Speaker 4: He was huge, Yeah, he was. He was almost he
Speaker 4: was sick something and also four feet wide like he was.
Speaker 4: He was all buffed and huge, huge, So I did
Speaker 4: the thing. A comic out of the Midwest taught me
Speaker 4: this that if you ever think that somebody's coming at
Speaker 4: the stage, grabbed the mic stand because that's your that's
Speaker 4: your weapon, like that's you know, just hit him with
Speaker 4: the mic stand if they come at you and you're
Speaker 4: gonna win.
Speaker 3: Yeah. So yeah, And so.
Speaker 5: I'm holding that and then just and I'm and I'm
Speaker 5: holding the MIC's in, I'm talking and I'm trying not
Speaker 5: to engage with them at the same time, trying to
Speaker 5: diffuse it. And an ashtray whizzes past my head. No,
Speaker 5: I'm sure non ashtray a shot class wow, past my
Speaker 5: head and hits the woman sitting across the stage from
Speaker 5: that woman's see I.
Speaker 3: Do not remember that either. Wow. Yeah.
Speaker 5: So then that woman says, hey, what the fuck or whatever,
Speaker 5: and I went, yeah, that's a little crazy, and then
Speaker 5: she throws something else at me, and then I forget
Speaker 5: what I said to them, Chris. But the guy then
Speaker 5: starts coming after me. Yeah right, and they so again
Speaker 5: here if I could interject, the entire part of the
Speaker 5: part of the ticket price that night was some kind
Speaker 5: of a fish dinner provided by a neighboring restaurant.
Speaker 4: Uh they didn't have enough fish. Only half the people
Speaker 4: got the meal. Uh they paid for. So they were
Speaker 4: hungry and they were angry half of them. So yeah,
Speaker 4: it was tense already. And so fishermen were wandering in
Speaker 4: covered with fish gills, yelling and they'd have to be
Speaker 4: ushered out. So already tense up to this moment.
Speaker 1: Geez, and I.
Speaker 6: Bet you that if you didn't get a fish dinner,
Speaker 6: they were like, you get one drink for free.
Speaker 5: Oh they had so yeah they yeah. So they're drunk
Speaker 5: now on exactly to make up for it. So he
Speaker 5: starts coming after me, and uh. These two guys who
Speaker 5: were there that two guys that were off duty policemen
Speaker 5: who were dating the waitresses. They were like, hey, we
Speaker 5: probably should get involved here since nobody in the club
Speaker 5: seems interested in stopping this. So they come over to
Speaker 5: stop it, and so they go to, uh, I forget
Speaker 5: what they did, like they went to like slowly get on.
Speaker 3: They like jump corned them out.
Speaker 4: I think they said, uh, we're gonna take you outside, sir,
Speaker 4: like in a gentlemanly way. I did also notice they
Speaker 4: both were wearing tap Out brand polo shirts, so they
Speaker 4: gotta dress up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, they were wearing Paulo.
Speaker 4: That's important.
Speaker 3: And by the way, Magan, they're the heroes in this story,
Speaker 3: these two guys are the heroes.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so they they come over, but this guy's so big.
Speaker 5: They're kind of like hanging on his arms like that,
Speaker 5: Like that's how big this dude is. Like, they're trying
Speaker 5: to wrangle him down. And that guy's wife jumps on top,
Speaker 5: jumps on the back of one of these off duty cops,
Speaker 5: but he doesn't know who it is, so he turns
Speaker 5: around and punches the woman in the face, and.
Speaker 4: She flies into a giant Christmas tree, which then topples
Speaker 4: onto one of the tables this giant Christmas tree.
Speaker 3: Blood goes flying everywhere from this woman's nose. I remember
Speaker 3: the man bleeding. They both bled. Apparently they're both blood.
Speaker 6: But sorry, the person that got punched was the correct person.
Speaker 1: It was the woman from this office.
Speaker 5: Yes, yes, the guy. The guy did feel bad. He's like,
Speaker 5: I never would have punched her and punched it if
Speaker 5: I knew it was her. I didn't know who it was.
Speaker 5: Somebody jumped on my back and I just instinctively remember that,
Speaker 5: turned around and punched it.
Speaker 6: No, if you jump on someone's back, if hands fly,
Speaker 6: that's what you signed up.
Speaker 4: And these two people the whole time they are sitting there.
Speaker 4: They were fidgeting and jiggling their legs in a way
Speaker 4: I think only can be provided by math.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they were all methed up. There's no them that
Speaker 3: they were tweaking.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, because I was going to say sorry.
Speaker 6: Usually someone that's that big doesn't feel the need to
Speaker 6: flex that way. Usually big guys are underplaying it because
Speaker 6: they get so much attention.
Speaker 1: Of like, oh, what do you want to fight me
Speaker 1: or whatever.
Speaker 6: That's what surprised me is like it feels to me
Speaker 6: like those guys don't do that.
Speaker 3: That up.
Speaker 5: Well, I'll say this, Karen. I'm not defending him in
Speaker 5: any ways, ship or form. This guy ruined people's New
Speaker 5: Year's eves. But he, you know, he would say something
Speaker 5: and I would be me and be very funny and
Speaker 5: make him look stupid, and he wasn't going to tolerate that.
Speaker 5: So that's why he was flexing, because how dare this
Speaker 5: little piece of shit guy make you know, win this fight?
Speaker 5: And well, I know how I can win it. I
Speaker 5: will stand up and destroy this guy with one punch.
Speaker 3: Yeah, does he.
Speaker 1: Think it's gonna happen if he's on the phone and being.
Speaker 4: An appall him and gave him free tickets. That guy
Speaker 4: did not sign up to be there. They just showed
Speaker 4: up because they were out of rowdy powder, you know
Speaker 4: what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, I mean yeah,
Speaker 4: it's pretty clear, of course. You know what, sometimes I
Speaker 4: just sway that at the end. You know what I'm saying, Jimmy,
Speaker 4: Yeah you want to tell me? And what I'm saying, yeah, you.
Speaker 1: Got the r P.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I got it. They finally get these people out, Karen,
Speaker 3: and and then it's like twelve minutes left of the show,
Speaker 3: and I was like, so, I guess I continue, and
Speaker 3: some people one woman's like, nope, you're ruin our night,
Speaker 3: and I go, then scram, I don't need you here,
Speaker 3: and she left, and then some other people. Everybody else stayed,
Speaker 3: and it ended up being okay, right, Chris at the end.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you pulled it off. And I didn't think it
Speaker 4: was possible. This happened a quarter to midnight, and then
Speaker 4: it finally, after recognizing what had happened, you diffused it
Speaker 4: and we rang in the New Year, and it ended fine.
Speaker 4: But what I'm remembering is them choking this man out
Speaker 4: and he fell and hit his head on the stage
Speaker 4: and bloodshot out of his head at his heart rate.
Speaker 4: To you were on stage and you dodged his flying blood,
Speaker 4: you had to slam it. That was a traumatic thing
Speaker 4: and I think everyone there screamed. I don't think that's
Speaker 4: not something you see every day, as a man bleeding
Speaker 4: at his heart rate in a in a squirt gun
Speaker 4: like es and this is very great. I'm sorry, but
Speaker 4: it was crazy. Blood everywhere. These guys were professional MMA fighters.
Speaker 4: They were feeding them the knees.
Speaker 3: It was.
Speaker 4: It was scary to watch. And I've you know, I
Speaker 4: know how much you love fights, Karen, watching people really
Speaker 4: do feed each other the boots these but this was
Speaker 4: a violent, scary one with people that And.
Speaker 3: Then these guys came in.
Speaker 4: They're like, we're sorry, everybody, we had to do something.
Speaker 4: They felt bad, and their jeans were covered in blood.
Speaker 3: They're la.
Speaker 4: And the fight kept happening. As he was ringing in
Speaker 4: the New Year, you could hear them yelling and s
Speaker 4: coupling outside and then the police. The police came an
Speaker 4: hour later or something.
Speaker 6: Did the audience that I know, the one lady was like,
Speaker 6: you run our New Year's whatever. But but once the
Speaker 6: guy was out of the those people were out of
Speaker 6: the room. Were you able to get.
Speaker 1: That audience back in any agent?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I got that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was pretty amazing. Like talk about legendary talking
Speaker 4: about it, yeah, talk about an obstacle.
Speaker 3: Uh you did it? Yeah? You know what.
Speaker 5: The other thing the woman said when she said, uh,
Speaker 5: you ruine a night, she said this was your fault.
Speaker 4: She blamed like, oh I remember, was this my fault?
Speaker 3: The guy's on the phone and then threw something at me.
Speaker 3: This isn't my fault at all.
Speaker 4: All these are harbor people. She was probably his cousin.
Speaker 1: It's your folk were on crystal meth.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just awful.
Speaker 4: And then and the fisherman kept coming, these fishermen in
Speaker 4: yellow rain.
Speaker 3: Suits covered in shots.
Speaker 4: We want a beer full volume from Russia. There's a
Speaker 4: comedy concert happening, sir, please stop yelling in your fishy
Speaker 4: man voice.
Speaker 1: So big was this club?
Speaker 3: Was it?
Speaker 1: Can you compare it to a club?
Speaker 6: I know?
Speaker 1: Like, is it? Was it smaller or bigger?
Speaker 3: What would you say, Chris?
Speaker 4: I think you could pack two hundred people into that
Speaker 4: two hundred Yeah.
Speaker 1: So like the improv with no curtain clo.
Speaker 3: You know what, the improv with no curtain closes a
Speaker 3: perfect shape and size and everything.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, Jesus, oh yes Christmas. That giant Christmas tree
Speaker 4: had no business being in a club that small. I
Speaker 4: think the tree committed suicide when it tove onto that
Speaker 4: table of people. Ornaments everywhere, glass into champagne glasses.
Speaker 6: Oh Jimmy, can you remember what your when you got
Speaker 6: were getting the audience back with the first joke you had,
Speaker 6: was like, no, what just happened?
Speaker 3: I'm sure it was just all that, you know.
Speaker 5: I do remember at one point while it was all happening,
Speaker 5: is like, so, I guess I just do play by play?
Speaker 3: What do I do now?
Speaker 6: Like?
Speaker 3: I remember saying that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you As they were fighting, he was commentating
Speaker 4: the fight. Oh, they got him in some kind of
Speaker 4: I guess that's a choke hold war blood. It was
Speaker 4: going to be a great year and that you know,
Speaker 4: I'm in my tuxedo like an idiot.
Speaker 1: O splatters of blood on your tu It looked.
Speaker 3: Very nice on the white shirt costuming.
Speaker 4: Oh it was a horrifying sticks his head.
Speaker 1: Out and goes, no, I'm not the bad guy, am I?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: No, I seem pretty good.
Speaker 3: Don't Are you to come back tomorrow?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 3: Of course?
Speaker 4: Meanwhile, the guy that was laying down the law during
Speaker 4: that fight, and he was a big fireman, mustached looking guy.
Speaker 4: He was hiding behind the front kiosk, pretending the fight
Speaker 4: wasn't happening. He was nowhere to be found. Jimmy's like,
Speaker 4: is there a police or someone that could be called?
Speaker 4: There's a fight happening, and the guys just neighbor and
Speaker 4: home improvement. He was so he was petrified, scary. Yeah,
Speaker 4: we have done some Uh, we've come a long way, Jimmy, Oh,
Speaker 4: we sure have. You know, we sure have those gigs anymore?
Speaker 1: Do you missicus? Do you miss the road?
Speaker 3: Sort of?
Speaker 5: I mean I miss you know what I mean? I
Speaker 5: miss meeting the people afterwards. I mean, that's sincerely. I
Speaker 5: miss that's the part of it that I miss. And
Speaker 5: I guess I missed the time on stage. I don't
Speaker 5: miss any of the other aspects of it at all
Speaker 5: at all.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Even last night I did a virtual show on a
Speaker 4: stage but with the zoom audience and afterwards there's a
Speaker 4: little hangout and it was by far my favorite part.
Speaker 3: Wait a second, So you're in a club and they're
Speaker 3: videotaping like you on stage at the club and then.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a warehouse where they put in a stage
Speaker 4: and it looks like there's a brick wall and a
Speaker 4: cool like Edison Bull lamp and it looks beautifu. But yeah,
Speaker 4: no one in there. So you have to get used
Speaker 4: to firing off your jokes to just barely hearing laughter.
Speaker 4: But I'm I it's the only thing we can do
Speaker 4: right now, so I'm trying to enjoy it. But it
Speaker 4: is hard. It is hard to do.
Speaker 3: That sounds impossible, it's it's not.
Speaker 4: It is possible, but you have to forget what you
Speaker 4: know about how you usually depend on laughter to keep.
Speaker 1: You going and what you like.
Speaker 3: You have to forget what makes you and settle for
Speaker 3: the opposite.
Speaker 6: Well, because remember that show Ian Abramson used to do
Speaker 6: that show where you would do your you would do your.
Speaker 1: Act in like a in like.
Speaker 6: A sealed off room separately, so the audience would be
Speaker 6: laughing at you, but you couldn't hear, so you just
Speaker 6: had to keep going.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, that's yeah. Why did that happen and why
Speaker 3: did people say yes to do it? To do it?
Speaker 6: It was because it was basically like, here's worst case
Speaker 6: scenario comedy. So at like a comedy festival. You'd be
Speaker 6: at Bridgetown, but then you'd go do this crazy show
Speaker 6: where the audience knew how miserable you were and people
Speaker 6: were trying to do stuff, and it would just be like,
Speaker 6: like I remember it was when Drennan and I were
Speaker 6: doing songs, and we were doing these songs, we would
Speaker 6: like it would be over and then I would just
Speaker 6: be like that was bad, Like you just can't not
Speaker 6: kill that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I did feel bad last night, and I think
Speaker 4: it went well and people enjoyed it, but I need
Speaker 4: to hear the laughs. I can't imagine doing it like that, like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 4: I'm doing a half hour and Joe Rogan's Deprivation Tank
Speaker 4: coming there. Oh God, to where you hear nothing. That
Speaker 4: would be so hard.
Speaker 5: Yeah, But here's the irony of that is we've all
Speaker 5: done plenty of shows where there's a room full of
Speaker 5: people where we.
Speaker 3: Don't get a single laugh, right right.
Speaker 5: I just have this set when you bomb miserably, and
Speaker 5: somehow that feels better than doing it on zoom where
Speaker 5: you know that people are enjoying it but you can't.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, how am I comfortable with when I know it's
Speaker 4: my fault entirely. I guess that just sucked tonight.
Speaker 1: There's something I do love when it's a when I'm bombing.
Speaker 6: It has to be very specific, though, because if it's
Speaker 6: a smaller room, like if it's if it's quiet, because
Speaker 6: the audience is small, and then I'm bombing, I suddenly
Speaker 6: become the most creative mind of all time because it's
Speaker 6: the one way I can go none of this matters.
Speaker 6: But if it's like slightly bigger and it's just like
Speaker 6: the things don't come when they're supposed to come, it's
Speaker 6: first I hate myself, but then I hate them ten
Speaker 6: times more, and it is I can't. I can't get
Speaker 6: around it, like I can't have fun with it. I'm
Speaker 6: always in such awe of the kind of people who
Speaker 6: can be eating it and still kind of staying on.
Speaker 1: That like this is fun and it's fine and who cares.
Speaker 1: I don't know how you do that.
Speaker 3: I don't either.
Speaker 4: For me, it's just a defense mechanism. When your back's
Speaker 4: against the wall like that and you're scared. That is
Speaker 4: how I used to get out of fights. That's how
Speaker 4: I mean. And Jimmy, you probably don't. You don't remember
Speaker 4: what you said during that horrible nineteen twenties bar fight.
Speaker 4: But you said funny things and you probably if they
Speaker 4: were just spilling out of your mouth because you thought
Speaker 4: you were about to die.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you gotta get off the gems before while you can. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Really, that's one that it's like when people always say
Speaker 5: to me, you know, because I improvised my show so much,
Speaker 5: like do you record? You must record every night? Then
Speaker 5: remember what you said? It like, I don't record at all.
Speaker 5: But it's nice like that. It was like, damn it,
Speaker 5: they're right, I should be recording everything because this would
Speaker 5: be amazing to have documentation of Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that was your version of the guy that hit
Speaker 4: the audience member with the guitar, except was no video
Speaker 4: of that.
Speaker 6: I wonder if you guys should call that club if
Speaker 6: it's still open, and see if they recorded it. Yeah,
Speaker 6: wouldn't that be amazing if there's just videos sitting somewhere.
Speaker 4: That they watch every Christmas telling a version of the
Speaker 4: same story and then that except their version was that
Speaker 4: guy was like half owner of the comedy club. The
Speaker 4: guy up front, he looked just like the own. They
Speaker 4: were both tall guys with mustaches. I think he was
Speaker 4: in on it. I think it was.
Speaker 3: He was a good guy by the way. He just
Speaker 3: he was. He was panicked about his business.
Speaker 4: Yea, all, hey all yeah, all people, remember, as you said,
Speaker 4: our jobs were on the line, he was going to
Speaker 4: fire us.
Speaker 3: That's true. Well true, as you and bores did suck.
Speaker 4: I knew it. I knew it was coming Roastmaster.
Speaker 6: The pressure he applied seemed to really work, because then
Speaker 6: you guys totally came back.
Speaker 1: You killed it.
Speaker 6: You did well that you built the tension high enough
Speaker 6: so that blood was spilled.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I thought, you man, literally sorry blood. I told
Speaker 4: you that.
Speaker 1: I just wanted it in my job.
Speaker 4: No, I just I was. I was nervous because I
Speaker 4: was like, oh, I'm going to blow it and then
Speaker 4: that'll be the end of my career. And Jimmy's not
Speaker 4: ever going to take me to another one of these
Speaker 4: violent chuckle buckets with him. But I do miss those
Speaker 4: where usually we had fun, and usually fun I learned
Speaker 4: a lot opening for Jimmy and the Maid.
Speaker 6: That was If you would say that was the worst
Speaker 6: show you guys did together, for sure, it was what
Speaker 6: was the best show that you did together?
Speaker 5: This is to me, it's the same show Yeah, it's funny.
Speaker 3: I know. We had great shows at places.
Speaker 4: If something goes well, though, I'm like, yeah, that's how
Speaker 4: it should go, and I delete it from my memory.
Speaker 4: If it's horrifying and my life is on the line,
Speaker 4: goddamn right, I remember.
Speaker 3: It every day.
Speaker 4: I just remember the bad things and the good things. Yeah,
Speaker 4: that's how it should be.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 4: No, we had fun in Kirkland. You went with me
Speaker 4: about some of my first luggage.
Speaker 3: You brought a piece of luggage in the rain.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that zipper blew out immediately it was raining. And
Speaker 4: then you kept every restaurant we went to. Jimmy always
Speaker 4: like my son is this is my son? He's new
Speaker 4: in town. He's a graphic artist. Is there any academy
Speaker 4: where he can learn? He likes to draw and paint specifically,
Speaker 4: like just to the waitress, and then i'd it was
Speaker 4: a challenge for me to then play along and be like,
Speaker 4: yes I am this is my father, and yes I'm
Speaker 4: going to art in school. Otherwise I would have Jimmy
Speaker 4: would have given it to me.
Speaker 3: I'm fun. That sounds fun to me.
Speaker 5: I sound fun you are, or I sound like the
Speaker 5: obnoxious comic who can't shut it off.
Speaker 3: That's either way. Either you can listen to that story
Speaker 3: and take it either way.
Speaker 1: Does it depend what mood you're in, how much sleep you've gone.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, it was fun, Karen.
Speaker 1: To be honestly, it sounds fun to me.
Speaker 3: I like stuff like that.
Speaker 4: I think your son, Oliver thinks you're fun, and uh,
Speaker 4: I do.
Speaker 3: I do think he thinks I'm fun.
Speaker 4: I think he's got Yeah, he likes comedy. I like
Speaker 4: that kid. He's he's also, Karen, interested in miniatures. He
Speaker 4: makes these dioramas dedicated to different TV shows. He's very
Speaker 4: creative and yeah, he just I've never met all of everybody.
Speaker 4: Seems like the sweetest kid ever, Karen. He made me
Speaker 4: a Mary Tyler Moore action figure for Christmas. That was
Speaker 4: my Christmas guest.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, wait, how how old does he know?
Speaker 3: He's thirteen? And the truth that I kind of made
Speaker 3: the joke earlier.
Speaker 5: But the truth is, we watch Chris's special and it
Speaker 5: is Oliver's favorite stand up special.
Speaker 4: That we watched that's so great.
Speaker 3: He quotes it almost every day.
Speaker 5: And we've watched other We've watched great comics, and uh,
Speaker 5: and I love the fact. The truth is, I love
Speaker 5: the fact that he loves good comedy. And I don't
Speaker 5: have to pretend that somebody that sucks is good, you
Speaker 5: know what I mean.
Speaker 3: I don't have to no, no, no, no that you know, yeah,
Speaker 3: you know, I know that guy. He's a good guy.
Speaker 3: I don't have to do any of that. I get
Speaker 3: to go.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Fair Makes is great, Nate Bargotzi is great, Tig
Speaker 5: is great. You know whatever specials we've watched. Yeah, Maria
Speaker 5: Bamford is great.
Speaker 3: Thank god.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, he gets it, Yeah, he does get it.
Speaker 6: It's between you and Danielle, though. I can't imagine it
Speaker 6: would be like almost like an Alex P. Keaton thing
Speaker 6: if he didn't know good.
Speaker 4: Right, he's just the tiniest little Republican in a suit
Speaker 4: talking about studying law. Yeah, he his favorite thing.
Speaker 3: This happens a couple of years ago. We read Toys
Speaker 3: r Us. They were still open, that's who all the
Speaker 3: story is.
Speaker 5: So he was much younger, and you know, I don't
Speaker 5: like scatological humor. I don't like poop poop peepee sort
Speaker 5: of stuff at all.
Speaker 3: I just I don't. I hate faart. I hate that word.
Speaker 3: It's just not part of me.
Speaker 5: And so we were looking at the games, at the
Speaker 5: board games, and one of them was, you know, flush
Speaker 5: the toilet, and then another one was who who shit
Speaker 5: the bed or whatever it's called. And then there's like
Speaker 5: all these games where it's like, you know, move your
Speaker 5: piece of poop around like it was, and.
Speaker 3: I literally section it was. I don't know, it was
Speaker 3: in the kids section. Kids find that funny apparently, so yeah,
Speaker 3: but I.
Speaker 5: Didn't realize that that that I said it out loud.
Speaker 5: I just kind of and I just went, what the
Speaker 5: fuck is going on? And Oliver laughed like crazy. He
Speaker 5: couldn't wait to get home until Danielle like, hey, we're
Speaker 5: in the we're in the game thing and Dad said
Speaker 5: this and it was the funniest thing in the world
Speaker 5: because it was like, seriously, what was going on?
Speaker 3: Why were all these games happening? Mom? It was the greatest.
Speaker 5: You must have been like nine or ten, even though like,
Speaker 5: but I couldn't even control my filthy mouth from coming out.
Speaker 1: But it is that thing.
Speaker 6: It feels like that's the kind of thing where there
Speaker 6: was a turn where for a long time it was
Speaker 6: like adults making games for kids that were, oh, this
Speaker 6: is you'll learn to count money or you'll learn to
Speaker 6: you know, the game of life where you put little
Speaker 6: things in your car and you'll make the decisions or
Speaker 6: whatever and they're actually yeah or whatever the fuck you know,
Speaker 6: or you'll just learn to count or how cards work
Speaker 6: or whatever. But then that turn of like we're just
Speaker 6: going to market to the lowest common denominator and just
Speaker 6: try to make money off of the like what the
Speaker 6: first thing a third grader thinks of, Yeah, it's just
Speaker 6: so cynical and like such a bummer to see that.
Speaker 1: It's just obviously what that is.
Speaker 5: That's what that was, and that's what it was. It
Speaker 5: was like a guttural reaction of saying everything you just said.
Speaker 5: Articularly I just thought, it's just go, what the fuck
Speaker 5: is going on?
Speaker 3: Like that? Just beaten down by it like that.
Speaker 4: That's where we're at. Okay, great, Yeah, I'm surprised. I
Speaker 4: mean you U have to go behind a curtain that
Speaker 4: shows topless greeting cards at Spencer Gifts to fight for
Speaker 4: specific games.
Speaker 3: Right toilet ring toss, and it's just so awful.
Speaker 6: You know, when you you can get the new iPods,
Speaker 6: know I the earbuds.
Speaker 1: Yes, I never called them right name, and I'm.
Speaker 4: Not to call iPads and I always will.
Speaker 6: Yeah, But basically you can get the case that they
Speaker 6: now come in personalized, so you can get your initials,
Speaker 6: you can get something award written, and you can also
Speaker 6: put any emoji on there. And I was looking like, oh,
Speaker 6: this is kind of cool whatever, and then the ship emoji.
Speaker 1: Is one of the options.
Speaker 6: I was like, do that, Like, what kind of low
Speaker 6: self esteem must you where You're just like, you know,
Speaker 6: it's my it's my iPad, but you know.
Speaker 1: Put some ship on there too.
Speaker 3: They think it's the funniest thing. Put a gun in
Speaker 3: your mouth, Jesus.
Speaker 4: Worst, the worst.
Speaker 1: He just leaves.
Speaker 4: We slap our our laptop shut if there's silence.
Speaker 6: Jimmy, I keep seeing someone made a gift of you
Speaker 6: and I talking when I think it was when I
Speaker 6: was on Never Not Funny last time when you said
Speaker 6: you people from Largo were assholes and I was like,
Speaker 6: you weren't you weren't a dream yourself or something laughing?
Speaker 1: Do you remember that?
Speaker 3: I don't at all.
Speaker 1: Somebody made a gift of it.
Speaker 6: And I was looking at the other day and it's
Speaker 6: so funny because the words at the bottom are really mean,
Speaker 6: and we're both laughing and just.
Speaker 1: Like, this is so what it's like to be a comedian.
Speaker 6: We're just like, if you just saw the words, you'd
Speaker 6: think we were completely like confronting each other, like we're
Speaker 6: on a reality show together, and instead we're just both laughing,
Speaker 6: just being like, you're a prick.
Speaker 1: Well you were an asshole too.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: When I first met you, I didn't know just how
Speaker 4: sarcastic you were. I was only impressed that you came
Speaker 4: to Cap City in Austin once a year and you
Speaker 4: remembered my name and that I was from Montana. But
Speaker 4: then you started making fun of me, and I totally
Speaker 4: thought you were serious. And then you walked away and
Speaker 4: you were shaking your head, and like ten minutes later
Speaker 4: you came over and he said, you know, I'm kidding,
Speaker 4: right that that's what I do. I go to the
Speaker 4: ultimate end of what you can do with sarcasm, and uh,
Speaker 4: that's what I just did. And I'm like, oh, okay,
Speaker 4: I'll get it from now on.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: See, it's fun just I have I think it's always
Speaker 5: best when you have to explain that you just had
Speaker 5: a good time, right, that's the best comedy. Karen is
Speaker 5: your camera somehow getting more vasolene on it as this
Speaker 5: show goes on.
Speaker 1: Probably oh this, yeah, that's it. That's it.
Speaker 3: It's looking more more civil Shepherdy as we go. Yeah,
Speaker 3: thank you.
Speaker 1: Wait good or bad?
Speaker 4: Good?
Speaker 3: Bad?
Speaker 6: It's the sun is going down, so I'm facing I
Speaker 6: literally face like the sunset direction.
Speaker 1: So here it as it goes down.
Speaker 6: Yes, I basically start to disappear the darkness of the room.
Speaker 4: It did look exactly like a romantic dream sequence from Moonlighting.
Speaker 3: You are very much.
Speaker 1: It could just be my beauty.
Speaker 3: Well, that's always on the table, Kara. Nobody's dismissing that.
Speaker 1: It's ability.
Speaker 4: Let's lord, it's your dog's bit. It's not saliva again.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I just have the dog come up and lick
Speaker 6: the camera right before every zoom.
Speaker 4: Hey, you gotta clean it somehow clean that lens, doggy.
Speaker 3: I'm glad, glad you brought back that callback of me
Speaker 3: insulting Eddy Pepatone for no reason whatsoever. Thanks for bringing
Speaker 3: that back.
Speaker 1: Christ Everyone can take it. Everyone can take it.
Speaker 6: That's our love language hatred, right.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Eddie Pepperton knows you love him, and I do
Speaker 4: love Eddi Peppatone.
Speaker 5: I see Eddie Pepatone every year. I didn't see him
Speaker 5: this year because of the pandemic, but every year we
Speaker 5: Janieith Wilson. Wilson puts together a little thing for the
Speaker 5: the women shelters. She puts together at Christmas a party
Speaker 5: for them. Sure, Eddie, my wife volunteers. Eddi Pepatone volunteers.
Speaker 3: I show up and shake some hands and the kids
Speaker 3: get a nice charge out of me when I shows up.
Speaker 5: Hey, it's the guy from the Game show from two
Speaker 5: thousand and five. That's great, take a nice charge.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 4: Oh, Merry Christmas. Children and I see every year, and
Speaker 4: he's great. I haven't seen him in many years. I
Speaker 4: haven't seen anyone in a while.
Speaker 3: But uh, Chris, Chris word of pandemic. Nobody sees anybody.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it's specific to me when I think about
Speaker 4: the situation I'm in. He's a little different. You know,
Speaker 4: I don't have roommates. My apartment is up on a hill.
Speaker 4: I did there's no one passing by.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, Matt Dylan never happens into your apartment.
Speaker 4: If I did, I'd kiss faces with him and say
Speaker 4: I love him the butt heads and then say I
Speaker 4: love him.
Speaker 1: Jimmy, do you have anything to plug or do you
Speaker 1: want to talk about upcoming events in your life that
Speaker 1: you would like people to attend.
Speaker 5: Oh, well, of course I got the ord WINNI podcast
Speaker 5: Never not Funny that we enjoy of course having both
Speaker 5: of you on fan Favorites. And I do a thing
Speaker 5: on YouTube called Jimmy's Records and Tapes that it's at
Speaker 5: YouTube dot com, slash number not funny that it's me
Speaker 5: talking this season, it's my five favorite of a certain topic,
Speaker 5: be it, you know, my five favorite prog rock songs,
Speaker 5: my five favorite.
Speaker 3: Horn songs, so on and so forth. But you're not
Speaker 3: coming to it for musical expertise. You're coming to watch
Speaker 3: me via jackass talking about music.
Speaker 4: Yeah, topic doesn't matter, but you are.
Speaker 6: You are a musical expert because I did back when
Speaker 6: Julian McCullough used to do Julian Love's music. I did
Speaker 6: that with you a couple times and you pulled out
Speaker 6: some esoteric information that was so mind blowing. Like a
Speaker 6: couple of times we played games and you had like
Speaker 6: you listed things by year, where I was just like,
Speaker 6: what is going on?
Speaker 1: Like you really do know your stuff.
Speaker 3: I know I know what I know.
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 5: But if you start talking about the Black Keys and
Speaker 5: saying that you saw the drummer.
Speaker 3: I don't know. I couldn't even pick a song of theirs,
Speaker 3: Like if you started playing it, I would go, who's that?
Speaker 5: I wouldn't have a clue. But what I know, I
Speaker 5: know all of it. I'm in okay, yeah, yeah, I'm
Speaker 5: in got it. I'm also doing a live thank you
Speaker 5: ver ask Karen and I only bring this up I
Speaker 5: think it's February seventeenth. I'm doing a Nope wrong about
Speaker 5: that dates February nineteenth at Flapperscomedy dot com. I've been
Speaker 5: doing these monthly shows where I figured out a way
Speaker 5: to do virtual crowd work and I'm doing it where
Speaker 5: I interview the people and like the producer in the
Speaker 5: showroom find it just picks anybody at random. I interview
Speaker 5: that person and then I asked that. I say, hey,
Speaker 5: what story or bit would you like to hear from
Speaker 5: my act? And I'll do it and if it's like
Speaker 5: an old thing, I kind of find my way through
Speaker 5: it and maybe mangle it which is funny, or I
Speaker 5: nail it and that's funny. So those have been a
Speaker 5: lot of fun So come out buy for that. If
Speaker 5: that interests you in any way.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that one time Karen and I did that with
Speaker 4: Greg Barrett where we assigned each other bits that we
Speaker 4: remembered from the other person and we had to do
Speaker 4: them in a live at that live podcast.
Speaker 3: Fine, right, it was so yes, it was, you know,
Speaker 3: it's it's amazing that you say that. Christ.
Speaker 5: Going back to the live setting, I worked with Pam Stone.
Speaker 5: Remember Pam Stone, very funny, talk tall, but she's very
Speaker 5: tall because I'm five foot four, everybody's tall.
Speaker 3: She was on coach. She was very funny and she.
Speaker 5: It just makes me think of them camaraderie that at
Speaker 5: one point some comics used to have and maybe they
Speaker 5: still have it, and I just don't, not with the
Speaker 5: right people anymore, but like give each other words to
Speaker 5: say on stage or hey, hey, I dare you to
Speaker 5: do that bit that always bombed. And so I was
Speaker 5: working with I was working with Pam Stone, and she
Speaker 5: told me to say, uh what did she I don't
Speaker 5: remember what words she told me to say, but I
Speaker 5: thought she told me to say C O N T.
Speaker 3: That's what I thought she told me to say. And
Speaker 3: so I figure out a way to say it on stage,
Speaker 3: and then I come off, and she goes, what the
Speaker 3: fuck is the matter with you? Why don't you say
Speaker 3: that word? I go, you told you doubt me to
Speaker 3: and she's like, no, I told you to say dixie Cup.
Speaker 3: Like I don't know what I thought you said, but
Speaker 3: I loved I love that ship. So I would love
Speaker 3: to do a show with you guys where we do that,
Speaker 3: where we try to find a way to.
Speaker 4: Hope it was and I hope you in your act
Speaker 4: you said dixie content at some point it paints a
Speaker 4: very Southern picture.
Speaker 5: I love it well. She is from the South, So
Speaker 5: there's a good point that she made. I think she
Speaker 5: said to say that word and then backpedaled when the
Speaker 5: audiences care for it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's like I would never.
Speaker 3: You, sir, Yeah, that that would be r.
Speaker 6: At this point, it would be a dream to do
Speaker 6: a night of comedy with you guys, Oh my gosh,
Speaker 6: as someone who like I was trying to get back
Speaker 6: into it and then I just didn't like it and
Speaker 6: I wouldn't work on it, and blah blah blah. And
Speaker 6: at this point, a year, a year into this fucking quarantine,
Speaker 6: I would try my best.
Speaker 1: I would write any things I would.
Speaker 6: I would do everything I could to do in a
Speaker 6: night of comedy with my friends.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it would be wonderful when we do it.
Speaker 4: We have to give each other assignments. I like that
Speaker 4: idea here it is, yeah, yes, for sure. Well, if
Speaker 4: you haven't heard Jimmy Pardos podcast Never Not Funny, it
Speaker 4: is I think the first podcast that I ever knew about,
Speaker 4: and certainly the first one I was ever a guest on.
Speaker 4: And uh yeah, I've learned a lot from Jimmy and
Speaker 4: he's great. And you just heard how funny he is.
Speaker 3: So uh oh.
Speaker 4: This is a conclusionary statement, and I think a pretty
Speaker 4: good one.
Speaker 3: Pretty good. I ramped down.
Speaker 1: Nice, You're definitely warming it down.
Speaker 4: That's yeah. You gotta cool off a lot of people
Speaker 4: if you just abruptly end, they pull a hammy or something,
Speaker 4: they pull up rustle in their leg.
Speaker 3: You can't he got cool.
Speaker 1: Down, Jimmy, thank you so much for doing I am.
Speaker 5: Honored, honest to god. I'm so great to see you guys,
Speaker 5: my friends. It was great to see you, and as
Speaker 5: being part of the show was great to see you.
Speaker 5: So thank you, thank you, and say hello come back.
Speaker 4: So yeah, yeah, say hello to Danielle and Oliver please, yes,
Speaker 4: of course you've been listening to Do you need a ride?
Speaker 3: D y n A R? Are you leaving? I?
Speaker 2: You wanna way back home? Either way we want to
Speaker 2: be there. Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and
Speaker 2: give us time and a turmano and gage.
Speaker 1: We want to send you.
Speaker 2: Off instead, we want to welcome you back home.
Speaker 6: Tell us all about ity scared her?
Speaker 1: Was it fine?
Speaker 6: Malborn?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need.
Speaker 4: With Karen and chriss
Speaker 6: M h