Speaker 1: Welcome to Can'tflee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio and
Speaker 1: The Black Effects. Before we get into this episode, y'all,
Speaker 1: let me tell you so. We had the first ever
Speaker 1: Black Effect podcast festival, and y'all know, me and Charlamagne
Speaker 1: hosted it, well technically me. Charlamagne was reading the cause
Speaker 1: like he was hooked on phonicshaw And I was so
Speaker 1: nervous because that was my first time ever doing that shit, right,
Speaker 1: you know, and I'm too I'm not, you know, I'm
Speaker 1: transparent enough to let y'all know that. I was very nervous.
Speaker 1: But when I got there and like the just to
Speaker 1: see how the crowd embraced me, yo, it was amazing.
Speaker 1: I had so much fun. We had Porscha Williams, Robin Dixon,
Speaker 1: Giselle Bryant, Michelle Williams, Mandy and Weezy. What the fuck? Listen? Listen, y'all.
Speaker 1: I got the footage, some footage coming. Make sure you
Speaker 1: visit the Can'tfully Reckless page. The girls from Horrible Decisions
Speaker 1: They had my ass up there, walking them like dogs.
Speaker 1: Mandy and licked my damn shoe. They's some freaky holes, okay, theys,
Speaker 1: some freaky bitches I lovem'na have to go. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: have to go on horrible decisions. I'm gonna have to
Speaker 1: you it may be a good decision for me to
Speaker 1: go on horrible decisions. I ain't gonna lie. I like
Speaker 1: them girls, Man, Tam, Bam, and aj. It was so
Speaker 1: many black creators up in the house. Shout out to
Speaker 1: Black Effect y'all. That is not the only festival. We're
Speaker 1: coming back doing this shit yearly. And yes, your girl
Speaker 1: Just Hilarious will be hosting next year too. I mean
Speaker 1: they don't know yet, but y'all gotta put y'all bidding.
Speaker 1: Y'all gotta let them know. Just Larious needs to host
Speaker 1: every Black Effect podcast festivals. And just like that, we're
Speaker 1: back on the air. Might check once you want two
Speaker 1: A real bitch spent the black. What is you gonna do?
Speaker 1: You're gonna listen, Ain't you're gonna listen because we're back
Speaker 1: with Just Fix My Mess. Another catholic, reckless episode coming
Speaker 1: to you right now. We're gonna jump straight in and
Speaker 1: this episode we got people writing me. God damn it,
Speaker 1: y'all don't want to send in y'all voices. Now listen,
Speaker 1: Like last season, I said, I'm gonna keep on saying it.
Speaker 1: I will read, Yes, I will read it. Ain't like
Speaker 1: I don't want to. I will read as long as
Speaker 1: y'all sound smart enough, as long as y'all writing this
Speaker 1: shit smart, okay, because I don't want to sound a
Speaker 1: literate when I'm trying to help y'all fix y'all mess shit.
Speaker 1: A lot of y'all need to get hooked throwing motherfucking
Speaker 1: phonics before y'all try to send me some goddamn mess
Speaker 1: all these long run on essay sentences. How's somebody gonna
Speaker 1: write me a whole fucking Oh this this shit is juicy,
Speaker 1: but it ain't not one punctuation mark in this motherfucker
Speaker 1: Jesus Aret. Hey, Jess, I've been dealing with this situation
Speaker 1: where my family has been treating my as a toddler. Okay,
Speaker 1: she must admit herself. My family has been treating me
Speaker 1: as a toddler, and I honestly can't stand it. I
Speaker 1: may only be eighteen. Oh yeah, she was definitely talking
Speaker 1: about herself. I may only be eighteen, but I don't
Speaker 1: even get treated like an eighteen year old. Keep in mind,
Speaker 1: I'm not even the youngest child. There are many kids
Speaker 1: born after me. My family keeps talking about marriage, and
Speaker 1: my ex's mom is convinced that I could possibly be pregnant.
Speaker 1: But I'm going through college and I would like to
Speaker 1: form my life in a way where if I were
Speaker 1: to get pregnant, it would be at a time where
Speaker 1: I could give my child everything or she needs as
Speaker 1: a mother and be different. Girl. I don't want to
Speaker 1: give up on my family, and I really value you
Speaker 1: and your opinion. But how do I get my family
Speaker 1: to stop treating me like I'm still in eighth grade
Speaker 1: and trust me enough to make decisions for myself that
Speaker 1: require simple common sense. I've prayed about it, but I
Speaker 1: feel like I need another woman's perspective. I may not
Speaker 1: be grown, but I deserve my credit where it's due.
Speaker 1: I'm not still messing with my ex. I have value.
Speaker 1: I know that's right, Boogie. I have moved on, but
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to break up with his mom at
Speaker 1: this point. Ooh, okay, so you're still close with his mom. Okay.
Speaker 1: First of all, I love that you reached out to me.
Speaker 1: Being as young as you are, I know y'all can
Speaker 1: have a lot of pride oh my god, and y'all
Speaker 1: don't want nobody in y'all business. Although y'all put it
Speaker 1: all a little Instagram and shit, I'm not putting you
Speaker 1: with them. I'm just saying, y'all because you is one
Speaker 1: of them, all right. But I absolutely love how you
Speaker 1: are mature enough to reach out to me on this
Speaker 1: platform and that you don't mind sharing your story because
Speaker 1: there are other teenagers that I'm pretty sure feel this
Speaker 1: way and get treated like a baby, and you know,
Speaker 1: they actually want to grow up. I have one of
Speaker 1: my friends. Her daughter is nineteen, and she will not
Speaker 1: let this little girl grow up. She will not the
Speaker 1: girl to my baby girl to moved out. Well that's
Speaker 1: her baby girl too, but she's my baby girl too.
Speaker 1: She has moved out of her mom's house and everything,
Speaker 1: you know, and the mom just still comes over her house.
Speaker 1: And this is one of my friends. So I try
Speaker 1: to talk to her all the time, like, yo, let
Speaker 1: that girl grow up. Let her grow up. She has
Speaker 1: a job, she's making her own money, she got her
Speaker 1: own car, she's working. He's not in college, but she
Speaker 1: is an entrepreneur. She has her own business. And these
Speaker 1: are all qualities that her mom instilled in her, but
Speaker 1: she's just not ready to see her grow up. Also,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you this advice coming from a mother
Speaker 1: to someone that's not a mother yet. I have an
Speaker 1: eleven year old, okay, and I know it's gonna be
Speaker 1: hard for me to just see him leave the nest.
Speaker 1: He's my only child, and you know, I'm a boy mom,
Speaker 1: and he is a mama's boy. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: And it's hard. It's hard. My dad babied me until
Speaker 1: I was until I got pregnant with my son. That's
Speaker 1: when I officially was not a baby in my dad's
Speaker 1: eyes anymore. And that was at twenty years old. I
Speaker 1: got pregnant at twenty. You know, my dad did not
Speaker 1: want me to move out. My dad actually got upset
Speaker 1: with my mom because she let me move out. She
Speaker 1: didn't fight me on it. Look, that's enough about my
Speaker 1: father child, because I can go all day on being
Speaker 1: a daddy's girl and just you know, growing up like that.
Speaker 1: Back to you, now, you're not gonna like this pool.
Speaker 1: But you are only eighteen. No, you're not legally grown.
Speaker 1: You are a young lady, but you're not a I
Speaker 1: can't even say you're not a one. I want to
Speaker 1: say that you're not a woman yet, babe, You're not
Speaker 1: not just yet. I would say twenty one, twenty one,
Speaker 1: You got another three years until you can go buy
Speaker 1: some drinks. You got another three years until you can
Speaker 1: even get in a goddamn club. Girl. You got three years,
Speaker 1: three years until your parents are gonna say that you
Speaker 1: word grown, okay, And I want to say this, Hey,
Speaker 1: at least you still got your parents. You know, a
Speaker 1: lot of eighteen year olds are out here having to
Speaker 1: fend for themselves and are wishing to have parents that
Speaker 1: could still treat them like a baby. You know, I
Speaker 1: love that, the fact that you're being nurtured. It's a
Speaker 1: lot of shit going on out in this world, sex trafficking,
Speaker 1: young women and children are being targeted by older men,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, and out the country both
Speaker 1: it used to be outside the country more. But what
Speaker 1: social media has done, which can sometimes be a gift
Speaker 1: in the curse that social media, it has opened up
Speaker 1: our eyes to see what is more publicized now, and
Speaker 1: that is crime, a lot of fucking crime. You gotta
Speaker 1: be careful. These men are praying on y'all. Young girls,
Speaker 1: on these dating apps and on social media, and they're
Speaker 1: watching what y'all post, y'all revealing y'all body parts, and
Speaker 1: like not saying you, but I'm saying y'all because you
Speaker 1: are eighteen, so you're a part of the you know,
Speaker 1: the younger generation, you know, the millennials. I'd say, but
Speaker 1: I want you to be more grateful for that than
Speaker 1: upset about it, because there will be one day that
Speaker 1: you look back and you're gonna be like, it wasn't
Speaker 1: so bad. It wasn't so bad. They've done well with
Speaker 1: you to this point. You know, they have done well
Speaker 1: with you. You seem to be a great young lady,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna give that credit to your parents, you know,
Speaker 1: and then just you growing up figuring out who you are.
Speaker 1: You know, you got three more years for that. You
Speaker 1: got well the rest of your life for that. But
Speaker 1: you got three more years until you'll be on your
Speaker 1: own for everything, with everything. So I don't have advice
Speaker 1: on how you can be growner or show that you
Speaker 1: are so grown that you don't need them to be
Speaker 1: on your back all the time. No, I say I
Speaker 1: love it. I say I love it. H And if
Speaker 1: you value me in my opinion, then you would love
Speaker 1: what I just said to you. Okay, baby girl, Now
Speaker 1: what's all this about this ex mama who thinks that
Speaker 1: you are pregnant and all of that shit? What the
Speaker 1: hell's going on with that? I need to see what's
Speaker 1: going on. And then that also tells me. If the
Speaker 1: mom thinks that you're pregnant, then you two are having sex?
Speaker 1: Is what that means? And that also promised me to
Speaker 1: ask you, is that why you think you so damn
Speaker 1: grown and that they shouldn't baby you all the time?
Speaker 1: It's because you out here having sex? Is that? Why
Speaker 1: does that have anything to do with it? And then
Speaker 1: that much to have come from her son, your ex
Speaker 1: boyfriend if she thinks it, unless you done gave her
Speaker 1: some type of little inkling to think that you're pregnant,
Speaker 1: she ain't gonna thank you pregnant for no reason pool
Speaker 1: mm hm. So you need to figure that out, and
Speaker 1: I need to know if you are as well, because
Speaker 1: that also is gonna be a reason that that also
Speaker 1: could be a reason why you don't want nobody to
Speaker 1: baby you because you got a little baby in you
Speaker 1: and you bet not. Okay, you got college and some
Speaker 1: good things and some businesses to run and some shit
Speaker 1: to do before you need to sit down and have
Speaker 1: a baby. Okay, And I know I'm not the only
Speaker 1: one that has told you this. Okay, Actually that ex'es
Speaker 1: mom need to be telling you this. I don't know
Speaker 1: if she's one of them that's trying to be your
Speaker 1: fucking friend or what you know, and trying to be
Speaker 1: so cool with your little ass that she don't want
Speaker 1: to tell you that this is wrong. And look at
Speaker 1: the bigger picture. I want to also know how old
Speaker 1: her ass is and did you did y'all have sex
Speaker 1: in her house? And uh uh huh, because it don't
Speaker 1: seem like you could be having sex and you are
Speaker 1: not with your parents ban all over your back, which
Speaker 1: is a good thing and my opinion, So check back
Speaker 1: in with me. I love you, I love you. I
Speaker 1: love you. This is not me coming down hard on you.
Speaker 1: This is not me trying to sound like everybody else.
Speaker 1: This is just the truth and cold hard facts. Be
Speaker 1: careful out here, Do not try to grow up too fast.
Speaker 1: Be careful, Be careful for as long as you can
Speaker 1: hold up. Hold up. I noticed shit getting good. But
Speaker 1: listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If
Speaker 1: you love me, you'll listen. Moving on, guys, Hey, Jess,
Speaker 1: my bestie of over a decade became friends with this
Speaker 1: girl that really hurt me and bullied me for years.
Speaker 1: This girl, let's call her Shila, has even snaked my
Speaker 1: best friend let's call her Mira as well. Mira and
Speaker 1: I had a falling out and recently picked up where
Speaker 1: we left off, and she told me that her sisters
Speaker 1: is friends with Shila, but she is not. Mia posted
Speaker 1: on her ig both of them going out to eat.
Speaker 1: I texted her a long paragraph telling her that I
Speaker 1: love her, but I cannot continue to be friends with
Speaker 1: someone that is friends with Sheila. Mara texted back, ensuring
Speaker 1: me that she has no problem cutting her off for
Speaker 1: me because she is loyal to me. I said, okay, cool.
Speaker 1: She started making me feel weird and made it seem
Speaker 1: like I forced her to cut her off and I
Speaker 1: did not. All I said was I do not want
Speaker 1: to be associated with someone that is comfortable being friends
Speaker 1: with someone that hurt me, and she's the one that
Speaker 1: decided to cut her off and keep me as her friend.
Speaker 1: Mara doesn't have me on Snapchat anymore since we fell
Speaker 1: out last time, but I still remember her snap name.
Speaker 1: I had a weird feeling one day I looked up
Speaker 1: her name and saw that she posted up at Shyla's house. Dumb.
Speaker 1: I screenshot at the snaps and texted her that I
Speaker 1: am not interested in being friends with her anymore and
Speaker 1: broke down in tears because I felt that in my
Speaker 1: soul that our friendship was really done this time. I'm
Speaker 1: so sad, but I also feel like I'm starting to
Speaker 1: have standards for myself, and I'm a little proud of
Speaker 1: myself for deciding to no longer deal with fake friends.
Speaker 1: My question is am I wrong in this situation. I've
Speaker 1: never had real friends before because I used to be
Speaker 1: the type of person to be friends with anyone. Now
Speaker 1: that I'm twenty seven, I'm finally figuring out what type
Speaker 1: of people I want in my circle, and be that
Speaker 1: as it may. You are right, Okay, No, you are
Speaker 1: not wrong in this situation, baby girl. First of all,
Speaker 1: thank you for sending in your story. You're twenty seven. Yes,
Speaker 1: you're still young. You know you're not a teenager, but
Speaker 1: you are a young woman, and I think this is
Speaker 1: the good time. What better time. It's a perfect time
Speaker 1: to be growing in to the woman that you want
Speaker 1: to become, you know, because you got three more years
Speaker 1: until thirty. And they say, you know, and based off
Speaker 1: of my own experience around that time at twenty seven,
Speaker 1: twenty eight, twenty nine, thirty, I started losing friends. I
Speaker 1: started losing you know. I was what they call a
Speaker 1: hopeless romantic in relationships and friendships as well. I would
Speaker 1: give anybody a chance to be my friend, backstab me,
Speaker 1: do this, do that, and you know, fuck around with
Speaker 1: people who I You know, I've been in your situation
Speaker 1: before around that same age. And so you're doing everything
Speaker 1: that you can do possibly right to set standards for yourself.
Speaker 1: That's good. You're figuring out who you are, like you said,
Speaker 1: and everybody can't come with you. People outgrow people. I
Speaker 1: just got finished telling a friend this the other day. Yes,
Speaker 1: people do outgrow each other. You know. That goes for relationships,
Speaker 1: that goes for family members, that goes for friendships. You know,
Speaker 1: everybody's not going to be on your level, whether you're
Speaker 1: higher or lower, whether you're the one taking forever to
Speaker 1: evolve or whether they're the ones that's taking forever to evolve.
Speaker 1: Everybody can't stay glued together, you know, because people have
Speaker 1: to go separate ways to grow and then you come back.
Speaker 1: You can revisit a friendship. But sometimes it's not meant
Speaker 1: for you guys to stay as close or to be
Speaker 1: as close as you guys once were. Sometimes you have
Speaker 1: to be friends from a distance. You don't have to be.
Speaker 1: But that can be that homegirl that you call every
Speaker 1: now and then to check on, and it's like no
Speaker 1: bad blood, but no harm done, no harm, no foul,
Speaker 1: no love lost. You know, you could be the homegirl
Speaker 1: that she calls every now and then. I'm just calling
Speaker 1: to check on you, see where you are in your life.
Speaker 1: If you need anything, love your girl, talk to you soon.
Speaker 1: It could be that it doesn't have to be a beef,
Speaker 1: but it doesn't necessarily have to be a best friendship either.
Speaker 1: Also in her defense, in Mira's defense, I can understand
Speaker 1: if she's the type of female that feels like this
Speaker 1: she hurt you, she didn't hurt me. We were all
Speaker 1: friends at one point, and this girl hurt you, she
Speaker 1: didn't hurt me. I can tell her about herself all
Speaker 1: goddamn day. I can tell her my opinion on how
Speaker 1: she did you as my friend and how she did
Speaker 1: our friend. That was fucked up, that was wrong. Maybe
Speaker 1: she realized that it was wrong. But you didn't want
Speaker 1: to be Shayla's friend anymore because of how badly she
Speaker 1: treated you as a friend once before, bullied you and
Speaker 1: all that. She could have grown out of that, but
Speaker 1: you don't want. You don't have no words for her
Speaker 1: because you can't forgive that and be that as it may.
Speaker 1: Maybe you can't forgive that. But if Mia and Sheila
Speaker 1: were friends before, they could still have a friendship, and
Speaker 1: Marra could still be loyal to you as long as
Speaker 1: Sheila don't talk shit about you to Mirah. I think
Speaker 1: they're good, you know, I think I think that's how
Speaker 1: Mara feels. And I think Mara just was caught in
Speaker 1: a situation where she didn't want you to be mad
Speaker 1: at her, because you obviously are one of her good friends,
Speaker 1: and she's obviously one of your good friends too, you know,
Speaker 1: or was one of your good friends. You know. She
Speaker 1: just was caught in the middle, and she didn't want
Speaker 1: to choose, so she was sneaking going to hang with Sheila.
Speaker 1: Her and Sheila could have a bond, They could do
Speaker 1: something for each other. She could be a good that
Speaker 1: that confidant for Sheila. She Shyla could be that for her,
Speaker 1: you know, you know, I think that you kind of
Speaker 1: made it about her being friends with Sheila instead of
Speaker 1: making it about the loyalty and the friendship in the
Speaker 1: bond that you and Mirah made. Because nothing can break that,
Speaker 1: not even a bitch that don't like you, not even
Speaker 1: a bitch you don't like. It's supposed to be able
Speaker 1: to come in between you and your good friend, you know.
Speaker 1: And do you feel that they talk about you? Do
Speaker 1: you feel shayless still? You know, talks about you to Mirah.
Speaker 1: Do you feel like they set up and key key
Speaker 1: about you and shit like that. If that's the case,
Speaker 1: then know you're not wrong in this situation. And then
Speaker 1: you just need to leave both of them alone. You know,
Speaker 1: you need to leave Miraa alone. But y'all don't have
Speaker 1: to beef. Y'all could just be long distance homegirls, you know,
Speaker 1: homegirls from a distance associates if you will, you know,
Speaker 1: but check back in, let me know, let me know.
Speaker 1: I am all for you growing into the woman that
Speaker 1: you want to become, and I'm all for you setting
Speaker 1: these standards because at some point in our lives. We
Speaker 1: all have to do that. Okay, I love your girl.
Speaker 1: Check back in with me. If you love me, you'll
Speaker 1: listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back
Speaker 1: and the last story moving on. This is a quick one. Hey, Jazz,
Speaker 1: I'm just going to get straight into it. I need
Speaker 1: you to fix my mess. I've been dealing with this
Speaker 1: guy for six years. Damn, you just been dealing with
Speaker 1: him for six years? What the fuck? And we made
Speaker 1: it official two years ago. I just found out that
Speaker 1: he was married. So now I literally don't know what
Speaker 1: to do. After six years of knowing him and growing
Speaker 1: to be in love with him, two years of being official,
Speaker 1: it's just hard to walk away. Uh well, bitch, throw
Speaker 1: on some skates and roll the fuck on out. What
Speaker 1: the hell is going on? What do you mean? You
Speaker 1: found out he was married, so you've been a mistress.
Speaker 1: You've unknowingly been a mistress for six years, and you
Speaker 1: didn't know how to fuck You ain't know what the
Speaker 1: fuck his wife is a What the fuck? What is she?
Speaker 1: A deaf mute? How to fuck you that live in Antarctica?
Speaker 1: How the fuck you don't know? Oh my god, I
Speaker 1: need to talk to him. Now, how to fuck you
Speaker 1: to the hats? What you done? Hit somebody for six years?
Speaker 1: You hit two women for six years? Unless the wife
Speaker 1: knew about you? How the hell did he hide the
Speaker 1: wife from you for six years and hid you from
Speaker 1: the wife for six years? What the fuck? Girl? Just leave?
Speaker 1: I don't have no advice for that other than leave, girl,
Speaker 1: fucking leave, leave, leave, leave, leave leave. I got so
Speaker 1: many questions. Did you meet the wife yet? How did
Speaker 1: you find out about the wife? Does he live with her?
Speaker 1: What the hell is happening? How old are you? Shit?
Speaker 1: How old is he? We all live? What y'all be doing? God? Damn, girl,
Speaker 1: you don't got much fucking but did he? Oh my god?
Speaker 1: Does he have kids with the wife? Do y'all have children? What? Girl?
Speaker 1: You're gonna send me four sentences and say help me?
Speaker 1: What the fuck? And just like that we come to
Speaker 1: the end of another girl. I gotta get out of here.
Speaker 1: I gotta get out of here this shit. Just tune
Speaker 1: in next week. I hope this bitch come back with something.
Speaker 1: Shit next week, y'all, next week? Out of here? Peace
Speaker 1: can't fully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The
Speaker 1: Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Speaker 1: Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.