WEBVTT - You Hid 2 Women For How Long?!

0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.320
<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Can'tflee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio and

0:00:03.360 --> 0:00:17.079
<v Speaker 1>The Black Effects. Before we get into this episode, y'all,

0:00:17.160 --> 0:00:19.040
<v Speaker 1>let me tell you so. We had the first ever

0:00:19.120 --> 0:00:22.240
<v Speaker 1>Black Effect podcast festival, and y'all know, me and Charlamagne

0:00:22.239 --> 0:00:25.480
<v Speaker 1>hosted it, well technically me. Charlamagne was reading the cause

0:00:25.520 --> 0:00:27.520
<v Speaker 1>like he was hooked on phonicshaw And I was so

0:00:27.600 --> 0:00:29.800
<v Speaker 1>nervous because that was my first time ever doing that shit, right,

0:00:29.840 --> 0:00:32.000
<v Speaker 1>you know, and I'm too I'm not, you know, I'm

0:00:32.000 --> 0:00:34.760
<v Speaker 1>transparent enough to let y'all know that. I was very nervous.

0:00:34.800 --> 0:00:38.000
<v Speaker 1>But when I got there and like the just to

0:00:38.000 --> 0:00:41.320
<v Speaker 1>see how the crowd embraced me, yo, it was amazing.

0:00:41.360 --> 0:00:44.320
<v Speaker 1>I had so much fun. We had Porscha Williams, Robin Dixon,

0:00:44.400 --> 0:00:49.520
<v Speaker 1>Giselle Bryant, Michelle Williams, Mandy and Weezy. What the fuck? Listen? Listen, y'all.

0:00:49.560 --> 0:00:52.040
<v Speaker 1>I got the footage, some footage coming. Make sure you

0:00:52.159 --> 0:00:55.240
<v Speaker 1>visit the Can'tfully Reckless page. The girls from Horrible Decisions

0:00:55.280 --> 0:00:58.240
<v Speaker 1>They had my ass up there, walking them like dogs.

0:00:58.240 --> 0:01:02.320
<v Speaker 1>Mandy and licked my damn shoe. They's some freaky holes, okay, theys,

0:01:02.320 --> 0:01:04.200
<v Speaker 1>some freaky bitches I lovem'na have to go. I'm gonna

0:01:04.240 --> 0:01:06.120
<v Speaker 1>have to go on horrible decisions. I'm gonna have to

0:01:06.120 --> 0:01:07.959
<v Speaker 1>you it may be a good decision for me to

0:01:07.959 --> 0:01:10.480
<v Speaker 1>go on horrible decisions. I ain't gonna lie. I like

0:01:10.560 --> 0:01:13.240
<v Speaker 1>them girls, Man, Tam, Bam, and aj. It was so

0:01:13.360 --> 0:01:16.440
<v Speaker 1>many black creators up in the house. Shout out to

0:01:16.480 --> 0:01:19.360
<v Speaker 1>Black Effect y'all. That is not the only festival. We're

0:01:19.360 --> 0:01:21.319
<v Speaker 1>coming back doing this shit yearly. And yes, your girl

0:01:21.400 --> 0:01:23.880
<v Speaker 1>Just Hilarious will be hosting next year too. I mean

0:01:23.920 --> 0:01:25.880
<v Speaker 1>they don't know yet, but y'all gotta put y'all bidding.

0:01:25.920 --> 0:01:28.759
<v Speaker 1>Y'all gotta let them know. Just Larious needs to host

0:01:28.880 --> 0:01:43.920
<v Speaker 1>every Black Effect podcast festivals. And just like that, we're

0:01:43.959 --> 0:01:46.679
<v Speaker 1>back on the air. Might check once you want two

0:01:46.760 --> 0:01:49.360
<v Speaker 1>A real bitch spent the black. What is you gonna do?

0:01:50.080 --> 0:01:52.320
<v Speaker 1>You're gonna listen, Ain't you're gonna listen because we're back

0:01:52.320 --> 0:01:55.400
<v Speaker 1>with Just Fix My Mess. Another catholic, reckless episode coming

0:01:55.400 --> 0:01:57.360
<v Speaker 1>to you right now. We're gonna jump straight in and

0:01:57.560 --> 0:02:00.920
<v Speaker 1>this episode we got people writing me. God damn it,

0:02:01.200 --> 0:02:03.520
<v Speaker 1>y'all don't want to send in y'all voices. Now listen,

0:02:03.760 --> 0:02:06.000
<v Speaker 1>Like last season, I said, I'm gonna keep on saying it.

0:02:07.280 --> 0:02:09.600
<v Speaker 1>I will read, Yes, I will read it. Ain't like

0:02:09.639 --> 0:02:11.360
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to. I will read as long as

0:02:11.440 --> 0:02:13.520
<v Speaker 1>y'all sound smart enough, as long as y'all writing this

0:02:13.560 --> 0:02:15.560
<v Speaker 1>shit smart, okay, because I don't want to sound a

0:02:15.639 --> 0:02:18.760
<v Speaker 1>literate when I'm trying to help y'all fix y'all mess shit.

0:02:19.320 --> 0:02:21.120
<v Speaker 1>A lot of y'all need to get hooked throwing motherfucking

0:02:21.120 --> 0:02:23.560
<v Speaker 1>phonics before y'all try to send me some goddamn mess

0:02:23.960 --> 0:02:28.200
<v Speaker 1>all these long run on essay sentences. How's somebody gonna

0:02:28.200 --> 0:02:31.359
<v Speaker 1>write me a whole fucking Oh this this shit is juicy,

0:02:31.400 --> 0:02:34.040
<v Speaker 1>but it ain't not one punctuation mark in this motherfucker

0:02:34.520 --> 0:02:39.160
<v Speaker 1>Jesus Aret. Hey, Jess, I've been dealing with this situation

0:02:39.200 --> 0:02:43.840
<v Speaker 1>where my family has been treating my as a toddler. Okay,

0:02:43.880 --> 0:02:46.240
<v Speaker 1>she must admit herself. My family has been treating me

0:02:46.440 --> 0:02:48.920
<v Speaker 1>as a toddler, and I honestly can't stand it. I

0:02:49.000 --> 0:02:51.200
<v Speaker 1>may only be eighteen. Oh yeah, she was definitely talking

0:02:51.200 --> 0:02:54.359
<v Speaker 1>about herself. I may only be eighteen, but I don't

0:02:54.360 --> 0:02:57.440
<v Speaker 1>even get treated like an eighteen year old. Keep in mind,

0:02:57.880 --> 0:03:01.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm not even the youngest child. There are many kids

0:03:01.200 --> 0:03:04.840
<v Speaker 1>born after me. My family keeps talking about marriage, and

0:03:04.919 --> 0:03:09.680
<v Speaker 1>my ex's mom is convinced that I could possibly be pregnant.

0:03:10.000 --> 0:03:12.320
<v Speaker 1>But I'm going through college and I would like to

0:03:12.360 --> 0:03:15.280
<v Speaker 1>form my life in a way where if I were

0:03:15.360 --> 0:03:17.200
<v Speaker 1>to get pregnant, it would be at a time where

0:03:17.200 --> 0:03:20.440
<v Speaker 1>I could give my child everything or she needs as

0:03:21.040 --> 0:03:25.000
<v Speaker 1>a mother and be different. Girl. I don't want to

0:03:25.000 --> 0:03:27.320
<v Speaker 1>give up on my family, and I really value you

0:03:27.600 --> 0:03:30.280
<v Speaker 1>and your opinion. But how do I get my family

0:03:30.320 --> 0:03:33.000
<v Speaker 1>to stop treating me like I'm still in eighth grade

0:03:33.680 --> 0:03:36.480
<v Speaker 1>and trust me enough to make decisions for myself that

0:03:36.600 --> 0:03:40.440
<v Speaker 1>require simple common sense. I've prayed about it, but I

0:03:40.480 --> 0:03:43.560
<v Speaker 1>feel like I need another woman's perspective. I may not

0:03:43.640 --> 0:03:46.360
<v Speaker 1>be grown, but I deserve my credit where it's due.

0:03:46.840 --> 0:03:50.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm not still messing with my ex. I have value.

0:03:50.280 --> 0:03:53.080
<v Speaker 1>I know that's right, Boogie. I have moved on, but

0:03:53.120 --> 0:03:55.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna have to break up with his mom at

0:03:55.240 --> 0:03:59.760
<v Speaker 1>this point. Ooh, okay, so you're still close with his mom. Okay.

0:04:00.120 --> 0:04:02.280
<v Speaker 1>First of all, I love that you reached out to me.

0:04:02.480 --> 0:04:05.120
<v Speaker 1>Being as young as you are, I know y'all can

0:04:05.160 --> 0:04:07.000
<v Speaker 1>have a lot of pride oh my god, and y'all

0:04:07.000 --> 0:04:09.200
<v Speaker 1>don't want nobody in y'all business. Although y'all put it

0:04:09.200 --> 0:04:11.160
<v Speaker 1>all a little Instagram and shit, I'm not putting you

0:04:11.200 --> 0:04:13.000
<v Speaker 1>with them. I'm just saying, y'all because you is one

0:04:13.040 --> 0:04:16.320
<v Speaker 1>of them, all right. But I absolutely love how you

0:04:16.400 --> 0:04:18.680
<v Speaker 1>are mature enough to reach out to me on this

0:04:18.720 --> 0:04:21.920
<v Speaker 1>platform and that you don't mind sharing your story because

0:04:22.080 --> 0:04:24.760
<v Speaker 1>there are other teenagers that I'm pretty sure feel this

0:04:24.800 --> 0:04:27.840
<v Speaker 1>way and get treated like a baby, and you know,

0:04:27.960 --> 0:04:31.120
<v Speaker 1>they actually want to grow up. I have one of

0:04:31.120 --> 0:04:35.080
<v Speaker 1>my friends. Her daughter is nineteen, and she will not

0:04:35.160 --> 0:04:37.000
<v Speaker 1>let this little girl grow up. She will not the

0:04:37.000 --> 0:04:39.080
<v Speaker 1>girl to my baby girl to moved out. Well that's

0:04:39.080 --> 0:04:41.039
<v Speaker 1>her baby girl too, but she's my baby girl too.

0:04:42.200 --> 0:04:44.680
<v Speaker 1>She has moved out of her mom's house and everything,

0:04:44.720 --> 0:04:47.160
<v Speaker 1>you know, and the mom just still comes over her house.

0:04:47.279 --> 0:04:50.320
<v Speaker 1>And this is one of my friends. So I try

0:04:50.360 --> 0:04:52.200
<v Speaker 1>to talk to her all the time, like, yo, let

0:04:52.200 --> 0:04:55.000
<v Speaker 1>that girl grow up. Let her grow up. She has

0:04:55.000 --> 0:04:57.080
<v Speaker 1>a job, she's making her own money, she got her

0:04:57.640 --> 0:05:01.159
<v Speaker 1>own car, she's working. He's not in college, but she

0:05:01.320 --> 0:05:03.880
<v Speaker 1>is an entrepreneur. She has her own business. And these

0:05:03.920 --> 0:05:07.039
<v Speaker 1>are all qualities that her mom instilled in her, but

0:05:07.120 --> 0:05:09.560
<v Speaker 1>she's just not ready to see her grow up. Also,

0:05:10.279 --> 0:05:13.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna give you this advice coming from a mother

0:05:13.320 --> 0:05:15.599
<v Speaker 1>to someone that's not a mother yet. I have an

0:05:15.600 --> 0:05:20.320
<v Speaker 1>eleven year old, okay, and I know it's gonna be

0:05:20.400 --> 0:05:24.040
<v Speaker 1>hard for me to just see him leave the nest.

0:05:24.560 --> 0:05:27.400
<v Speaker 1>He's my only child, and you know, I'm a boy mom,

0:05:27.480 --> 0:05:30.880
<v Speaker 1>and he is a mama's boy. You know what I'm saying.

0:05:31.040 --> 0:05:34.559
<v Speaker 1>And it's hard. It's hard. My dad babied me until

0:05:34.560 --> 0:05:37.080
<v Speaker 1>I was until I got pregnant with my son. That's

0:05:37.120 --> 0:05:39.440
<v Speaker 1>when I officially was not a baby in my dad's

0:05:39.480 --> 0:05:41.400
<v Speaker 1>eyes anymore. And that was at twenty years old. I

0:05:41.400 --> 0:05:43.599
<v Speaker 1>got pregnant at twenty. You know, my dad did not

0:05:43.640 --> 0:05:45.960
<v Speaker 1>want me to move out. My dad actually got upset

0:05:46.000 --> 0:05:48.080
<v Speaker 1>with my mom because she let me move out. She

0:05:48.120 --> 0:05:50.160
<v Speaker 1>didn't fight me on it. Look, that's enough about my

0:05:50.160 --> 0:05:52.080
<v Speaker 1>father child, because I can go all day on being

0:05:52.080 --> 0:05:55.320
<v Speaker 1>a daddy's girl and just you know, growing up like that.

0:05:56.040 --> 0:05:58.920
<v Speaker 1>Back to you, now, you're not gonna like this pool.

0:05:59.080 --> 0:06:04.279
<v Speaker 1>But you are only eighteen. No, you're not legally grown.

0:06:04.520 --> 0:06:09.880
<v Speaker 1>You are a young lady, but you're not a I

0:06:09.920 --> 0:06:11.760
<v Speaker 1>can't even say you're not a one. I want to

0:06:11.800 --> 0:06:14.520
<v Speaker 1>say that you're not a woman yet, babe, You're not

0:06:14.520 --> 0:06:17.960
<v Speaker 1>not just yet. I would say twenty one, twenty one,

0:06:17.960 --> 0:06:20.000
<v Speaker 1>You got another three years until you can go buy

0:06:20.080 --> 0:06:22.279
<v Speaker 1>some drinks. You got another three years until you can

0:06:22.480 --> 0:06:25.560
<v Speaker 1>even get in a goddamn club. Girl. You got three years,

0:06:25.920 --> 0:06:29.599
<v Speaker 1>three years until your parents are gonna say that you

0:06:29.720 --> 0:06:34.440
<v Speaker 1>word grown, okay, And I want to say this, Hey,

0:06:34.480 --> 0:06:37.279
<v Speaker 1>at least you still got your parents. You know, a

0:06:37.279 --> 0:06:39.120
<v Speaker 1>lot of eighteen year olds are out here having to

0:06:39.200 --> 0:06:42.640
<v Speaker 1>fend for themselves and are wishing to have parents that

0:06:42.839 --> 0:06:45.000
<v Speaker 1>could still treat them like a baby. You know, I

0:06:45.040 --> 0:06:47.480
<v Speaker 1>love that, the fact that you're being nurtured. It's a

0:06:47.480 --> 0:06:51.279
<v Speaker 1>lot of shit going on out in this world, sex trafficking,

0:06:51.480 --> 0:06:54.760
<v Speaker 1>young women and children are being targeted by older men,

0:06:55.520 --> 0:06:58.200
<v Speaker 1>you know what I'm saying, and out the country both

0:06:58.800 --> 0:07:02.080
<v Speaker 1>it used to be outside the country more. But what

0:07:02.240 --> 0:07:05.159
<v Speaker 1>social media has done, which can sometimes be a gift

0:07:05.200 --> 0:07:07.240
<v Speaker 1>in the curse that social media, it has opened up

0:07:07.240 --> 0:07:09.800
<v Speaker 1>our eyes to see what is more publicized now, and

0:07:09.840 --> 0:07:11.800
<v Speaker 1>that is crime, a lot of fucking crime. You gotta

0:07:11.840 --> 0:07:14.200
<v Speaker 1>be careful. These men are praying on y'all. Young girls,

0:07:14.720 --> 0:07:17.960
<v Speaker 1>on these dating apps and on social media, and they're

0:07:18.000 --> 0:07:20.880
<v Speaker 1>watching what y'all post, y'all revealing y'all body parts, and

0:07:21.160 --> 0:07:23.640
<v Speaker 1>like not saying you, but I'm saying y'all because you

0:07:23.760 --> 0:07:26.800
<v Speaker 1>are eighteen, so you're a part of the you know,

0:07:26.880 --> 0:07:31.280
<v Speaker 1>the younger generation, you know, the millennials. I'd say, but

0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:36.600
<v Speaker 1>I want you to be more grateful for that than

0:07:37.440 --> 0:07:40.600
<v Speaker 1>upset about it, because there will be one day that

0:07:40.680 --> 0:07:43.440
<v Speaker 1>you look back and you're gonna be like, it wasn't

0:07:43.480 --> 0:07:46.520
<v Speaker 1>so bad. It wasn't so bad. They've done well with

0:07:46.560 --> 0:07:49.200
<v Speaker 1>you to this point. You know, they have done well

0:07:49.240 --> 0:07:52.920
<v Speaker 1>with you. You seem to be a great young lady,

0:07:53.240 --> 0:07:55.280
<v Speaker 1>and I'm gonna give that credit to your parents, you know,

0:07:55.320 --> 0:07:57.320
<v Speaker 1>and then just you growing up figuring out who you are.

0:07:57.720 --> 0:07:59.480
<v Speaker 1>You know, you got three more years for that. You

0:07:59.520 --> 0:08:01.280
<v Speaker 1>got well the rest of your life for that. But

0:08:01.320 --> 0:08:03.520
<v Speaker 1>you got three more years until you'll be on your

0:08:03.560 --> 0:08:08.160
<v Speaker 1>own for everything, with everything. So I don't have advice

0:08:08.240 --> 0:08:11.800
<v Speaker 1>on how you can be growner or show that you

0:08:11.880 --> 0:08:14.120
<v Speaker 1>are so grown that you don't need them to be

0:08:14.200 --> 0:08:16.960
<v Speaker 1>on your back all the time. No, I say I

0:08:17.000 --> 0:08:20.240
<v Speaker 1>love it. I say I love it. H And if

0:08:20.280 --> 0:08:23.680
<v Speaker 1>you value me in my opinion, then you would love

0:08:24.000 --> 0:08:27.920
<v Speaker 1>what I just said to you. Okay, baby girl, Now

0:08:28.120 --> 0:08:31.280
<v Speaker 1>what's all this about this ex mama who thinks that

0:08:31.440 --> 0:08:33.640
<v Speaker 1>you are pregnant and all of that shit? What the

0:08:33.640 --> 0:08:35.920
<v Speaker 1>hell's going on with that? I need to see what's

0:08:35.960 --> 0:08:38.360
<v Speaker 1>going on. And then that also tells me. If the

0:08:38.440 --> 0:08:42.400
<v Speaker 1>mom thinks that you're pregnant, then you two are having sex?

0:08:42.920 --> 0:08:47.400
<v Speaker 1>Is what that means? And that also promised me to

0:08:47.440 --> 0:08:50.760
<v Speaker 1>ask you, is that why you think you so damn

0:08:50.800 --> 0:08:54.400
<v Speaker 1>grown and that they shouldn't baby you all the time?

0:08:54.440 --> 0:08:56.920
<v Speaker 1>It's because you out here having sex? Is that? Why

0:08:57.000 --> 0:08:59.160
<v Speaker 1>does that have anything to do with it? And then

0:08:59.600 --> 0:09:02.320
<v Speaker 1>that much to have come from her son, your ex

0:09:02.360 --> 0:09:05.160
<v Speaker 1>boyfriend if she thinks it, unless you done gave her

0:09:05.200 --> 0:09:08.319
<v Speaker 1>some type of little inkling to think that you're pregnant,

0:09:08.320 --> 0:09:10.560
<v Speaker 1>she ain't gonna thank you pregnant for no reason pool

0:09:11.120 --> 0:09:13.720
<v Speaker 1>mm hm. So you need to figure that out, and

0:09:13.840 --> 0:09:16.520
<v Speaker 1>I need to know if you are as well, because

0:09:16.520 --> 0:09:19.120
<v Speaker 1>that also is gonna be a reason that that also

0:09:19.120 --> 0:09:20.640
<v Speaker 1>could be a reason why you don't want nobody to

0:09:20.640 --> 0:09:22.439
<v Speaker 1>baby you because you got a little baby in you

0:09:23.480 --> 0:09:27.200
<v Speaker 1>and you bet not. Okay, you got college and some

0:09:27.240 --> 0:09:29.560
<v Speaker 1>good things and some businesses to run and some shit

0:09:29.640 --> 0:09:31.480
<v Speaker 1>to do before you need to sit down and have

0:09:31.520 --> 0:09:33.600
<v Speaker 1>a baby. Okay, And I know I'm not the only

0:09:33.640 --> 0:09:37.199
<v Speaker 1>one that has told you this. Okay, Actually that ex'es

0:09:37.679 --> 0:09:39.320
<v Speaker 1>mom need to be telling you this. I don't know

0:09:39.320 --> 0:09:40.920
<v Speaker 1>if she's one of them that's trying to be your

0:09:41.000 --> 0:09:44.560
<v Speaker 1>fucking friend or what you know, and trying to be

0:09:44.640 --> 0:09:47.960
<v Speaker 1>so cool with your little ass that she don't want

0:09:48.000 --> 0:09:49.760
<v Speaker 1>to tell you that this is wrong. And look at

0:09:49.760 --> 0:09:52.040
<v Speaker 1>the bigger picture. I want to also know how old

0:09:52.080 --> 0:09:54.160
<v Speaker 1>her ass is and did you did y'all have sex

0:09:54.200 --> 0:09:57.800
<v Speaker 1>in her house? And uh uh huh, because it don't

0:09:57.840 --> 0:09:59.960
<v Speaker 1>seem like you could be having sex and you are

0:10:00.679 --> 0:10:02.600
<v Speaker 1>not with your parents ban all over your back, which

0:10:02.640 --> 0:10:04.959
<v Speaker 1>is a good thing and my opinion, So check back

0:10:05.000 --> 0:10:06.720
<v Speaker 1>in with me. I love you, I love you. I

0:10:06.760 --> 0:10:09.080
<v Speaker 1>love you. This is not me coming down hard on you.

0:10:09.160 --> 0:10:11.600
<v Speaker 1>This is not me trying to sound like everybody else.

0:10:11.720 --> 0:10:14.360
<v Speaker 1>This is just the truth and cold hard facts. Be

0:10:14.440 --> 0:10:17.280
<v Speaker 1>careful out here, Do not try to grow up too fast.

0:10:17.360 --> 0:10:19.640
<v Speaker 1>Be careful, Be careful for as long as you can

0:10:20.000 --> 0:10:22.000
<v Speaker 1>hold up. Hold up. I noticed shit getting good. But

0:10:22.080 --> 0:10:24.400
<v Speaker 1>listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If

0:10:24.440 --> 0:10:30.199
<v Speaker 1>you love me, you'll listen. Moving on, guys, Hey, Jess,

0:10:30.320 --> 0:10:33.440
<v Speaker 1>my bestie of over a decade became friends with this

0:10:33.520 --> 0:10:36.040
<v Speaker 1>girl that really hurt me and bullied me for years.

0:10:36.440 --> 0:10:40.280
<v Speaker 1>This girl, let's call her Shila, has even snaked my

0:10:40.360 --> 0:10:44.480
<v Speaker 1>best friend let's call her Mira as well. Mira and

0:10:44.520 --> 0:10:46.839
<v Speaker 1>I had a falling out and recently picked up where

0:10:46.880 --> 0:10:48.800
<v Speaker 1>we left off, and she told me that her sisters

0:10:48.920 --> 0:10:52.600
<v Speaker 1>is friends with Shila, but she is not. Mia posted

0:10:52.679 --> 0:10:54.760
<v Speaker 1>on her ig both of them going out to eat.

0:10:55.040 --> 0:10:58.120
<v Speaker 1>I texted her a long paragraph telling her that I

0:10:58.160 --> 0:10:59.800
<v Speaker 1>love her, but I cannot continue to be friends with

0:11:00.080 --> 0:11:03.600
<v Speaker 1>someone that is friends with Sheila. Mara texted back, ensuring

0:11:03.600 --> 0:11:05.720
<v Speaker 1>me that she has no problem cutting her off for

0:11:05.880 --> 0:11:08.760
<v Speaker 1>me because she is loyal to me. I said, okay, cool.

0:11:08.840 --> 0:11:11.280
<v Speaker 1>She started making me feel weird and made it seem

0:11:11.360 --> 0:11:13.440
<v Speaker 1>like I forced her to cut her off and I

0:11:13.480 --> 0:11:16.080
<v Speaker 1>did not. All I said was I do not want

0:11:16.120 --> 0:11:19.240
<v Speaker 1>to be associated with someone that is comfortable being friends

0:11:19.240 --> 0:11:22.200
<v Speaker 1>with someone that hurt me, and she's the one that

0:11:22.280 --> 0:11:24.800
<v Speaker 1>decided to cut her off and keep me as her friend.

0:11:25.200 --> 0:11:27.960
<v Speaker 1>Mara doesn't have me on Snapchat anymore since we fell

0:11:28.000 --> 0:11:30.960
<v Speaker 1>out last time, but I still remember her snap name.

0:11:31.400 --> 0:11:33.360
<v Speaker 1>I had a weird feeling one day I looked up

0:11:33.400 --> 0:11:37.200
<v Speaker 1>her name and saw that she posted up at Shyla's house. Dumb.

0:11:37.720 --> 0:11:40.240
<v Speaker 1>I screenshot at the snaps and texted her that I

0:11:40.280 --> 0:11:42.679
<v Speaker 1>am not interested in being friends with her anymore and

0:11:42.720 --> 0:11:45.400
<v Speaker 1>broke down in tears because I felt that in my

0:11:45.520 --> 0:11:48.840
<v Speaker 1>soul that our friendship was really done this time. I'm

0:11:48.880 --> 0:11:51.080
<v Speaker 1>so sad, but I also feel like I'm starting to

0:11:51.120 --> 0:11:53.439
<v Speaker 1>have standards for myself, and I'm a little proud of

0:11:53.520 --> 0:11:56.880
<v Speaker 1>myself for deciding to no longer deal with fake friends.

0:11:57.400 --> 0:12:00.840
<v Speaker 1>My question is am I wrong in this situation. I've

0:12:00.880 --> 0:12:03.320
<v Speaker 1>never had real friends before because I used to be

0:12:03.400 --> 0:12:06.560
<v Speaker 1>the type of person to be friends with anyone. Now

0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:09.800
<v Speaker 1>that I'm twenty seven, I'm finally figuring out what type

0:12:09.800 --> 0:12:13.400
<v Speaker 1>of people I want in my circle, and be that

0:12:13.600 --> 0:12:17.000
<v Speaker 1>as it may. You are right, Okay, No, you are

0:12:17.040 --> 0:12:19.319
<v Speaker 1>not wrong in this situation, baby girl. First of all,

0:12:19.320 --> 0:12:22.360
<v Speaker 1>thank you for sending in your story. You're twenty seven. Yes,

0:12:22.400 --> 0:12:26.120
<v Speaker 1>you're still young. You know you're not a teenager, but

0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:29.400
<v Speaker 1>you are a young woman, and I think this is

0:12:29.440 --> 0:12:31.920
<v Speaker 1>the good time. What better time. It's a perfect time

0:12:31.960 --> 0:12:34.240
<v Speaker 1>to be growing in to the woman that you want

0:12:34.280 --> 0:12:36.360
<v Speaker 1>to become, you know, because you got three more years

0:12:36.400 --> 0:12:39.160
<v Speaker 1>until thirty. And they say, you know, and based off

0:12:39.160 --> 0:12:42.400
<v Speaker 1>of my own experience around that time at twenty seven,

0:12:42.480 --> 0:12:45.920
<v Speaker 1>twenty eight, twenty nine, thirty, I started losing friends. I

0:12:45.960 --> 0:12:48.920
<v Speaker 1>started losing you know. I was what they call a

0:12:48.920 --> 0:12:51.960
<v Speaker 1>hopeless romantic in relationships and friendships as well. I would

0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:54.960
<v Speaker 1>give anybody a chance to be my friend, backstab me,

0:12:55.400 --> 0:12:57.880
<v Speaker 1>do this, do that, and you know, fuck around with

0:12:57.960 --> 0:13:00.679
<v Speaker 1>people who I You know, I've been in your situation

0:13:01.320 --> 0:13:05.000
<v Speaker 1>before around that same age. And so you're doing everything

0:13:05.040 --> 0:13:09.400
<v Speaker 1>that you can do possibly right to set standards for yourself.

0:13:09.960 --> 0:13:13.200
<v Speaker 1>That's good. You're figuring out who you are, like you said,

0:13:13.640 --> 0:13:16.280
<v Speaker 1>and everybody can't come with you. People outgrow people. I

0:13:16.320 --> 0:13:19.560
<v Speaker 1>just got finished telling a friend this the other day. Yes,

0:13:19.640 --> 0:13:24.200
<v Speaker 1>people do outgrow each other. You know. That goes for relationships,

0:13:24.320 --> 0:13:27.080
<v Speaker 1>that goes for family members, that goes for friendships. You know,

0:13:27.120 --> 0:13:29.160
<v Speaker 1>everybody's not going to be on your level, whether you're

0:13:29.240 --> 0:13:31.839
<v Speaker 1>higher or lower, whether you're the one taking forever to

0:13:32.360 --> 0:13:35.400
<v Speaker 1>evolve or whether they're the ones that's taking forever to evolve.

0:13:35.440 --> 0:13:39.600
<v Speaker 1>Everybody can't stay glued together, you know, because people have

0:13:39.679 --> 0:13:42.400
<v Speaker 1>to go separate ways to grow and then you come back.

0:13:42.559 --> 0:13:46.200
<v Speaker 1>You can revisit a friendship. But sometimes it's not meant

0:13:46.520 --> 0:13:49.440
<v Speaker 1>for you guys to stay as close or to be

0:13:49.520 --> 0:13:52.600
<v Speaker 1>as close as you guys once were. Sometimes you have

0:13:52.679 --> 0:13:54.439
<v Speaker 1>to be friends from a distance. You don't have to be.

0:13:54.920 --> 0:13:56.880
<v Speaker 1>But that can be that homegirl that you call every

0:13:56.880 --> 0:13:59.400
<v Speaker 1>now and then to check on, and it's like no

0:13:59.480 --> 0:14:02.200
<v Speaker 1>bad blood, but no harm done, no harm, no foul,

0:14:02.240 --> 0:14:05.079
<v Speaker 1>no love lost. You know, you could be the homegirl

0:14:05.080 --> 0:14:06.760
<v Speaker 1>that she calls every now and then. I'm just calling

0:14:06.800 --> 0:14:08.880
<v Speaker 1>to check on you, see where you are in your life.

0:14:08.920 --> 0:14:11.320
<v Speaker 1>If you need anything, love your girl, talk to you soon.

0:14:11.760 --> 0:14:13.679
<v Speaker 1>It could be that it doesn't have to be a beef,

0:14:13.800 --> 0:14:16.240
<v Speaker 1>but it doesn't necessarily have to be a best friendship either.

0:14:16.800 --> 0:14:21.760
<v Speaker 1>Also in her defense, in Mira's defense, I can understand

0:14:22.520 --> 0:14:26.560
<v Speaker 1>if she's the type of female that feels like this

0:14:27.480 --> 0:14:30.600
<v Speaker 1>she hurt you, she didn't hurt me. We were all

0:14:30.640 --> 0:14:33.440
<v Speaker 1>friends at one point, and this girl hurt you, she

0:14:33.480 --> 0:14:36.520
<v Speaker 1>didn't hurt me. I can tell her about herself all

0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:40.080
<v Speaker 1>goddamn day. I can tell her my opinion on how

0:14:40.120 --> 0:14:42.840
<v Speaker 1>she did you as my friend and how she did

0:14:42.960 --> 0:14:46.920
<v Speaker 1>our friend. That was fucked up, that was wrong. Maybe

0:14:46.960 --> 0:14:49.760
<v Speaker 1>she realized that it was wrong. But you didn't want

0:14:49.800 --> 0:14:53.200
<v Speaker 1>to be Shayla's friend anymore because of how badly she

0:14:53.320 --> 0:14:56.120
<v Speaker 1>treated you as a friend once before, bullied you and

0:14:56.160 --> 0:14:57.960
<v Speaker 1>all that. She could have grown out of that, but

0:14:58.040 --> 0:14:59.920
<v Speaker 1>you don't want. You don't have no words for her

0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:03.360
<v Speaker 1>because you can't forgive that and be that as it may.

0:15:03.760 --> 0:15:07.560
<v Speaker 1>Maybe you can't forgive that. But if Mia and Sheila

0:15:07.680 --> 0:15:12.600
<v Speaker 1>were friends before, they could still have a friendship, and

0:15:12.640 --> 0:15:15.360
<v Speaker 1>Marra could still be loyal to you as long as

0:15:15.360 --> 0:15:19.880
<v Speaker 1>Sheila don't talk shit about you to Mirah. I think

0:15:19.880 --> 0:15:21.920
<v Speaker 1>they're good, you know, I think I think that's how

0:15:22.000 --> 0:15:24.520
<v Speaker 1>Mara feels. And I think Mara just was caught in

0:15:24.520 --> 0:15:26.440
<v Speaker 1>a situation where she didn't want you to be mad

0:15:26.480 --> 0:15:29.040
<v Speaker 1>at her, because you obviously are one of her good friends,

0:15:29.440 --> 0:15:32.320
<v Speaker 1>and she's obviously one of your good friends too, you know,

0:15:32.480 --> 0:15:35.320
<v Speaker 1>or was one of your good friends. You know. She

0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:36.960
<v Speaker 1>just was caught in the middle, and she didn't want

0:15:37.000 --> 0:15:40.600
<v Speaker 1>to choose, so she was sneaking going to hang with Sheila.

0:15:40.680 --> 0:15:43.480
<v Speaker 1>Her and Sheila could have a bond, They could do

0:15:43.640 --> 0:15:46.200
<v Speaker 1>something for each other. She could be a good that

0:15:46.200 --> 0:15:50.560
<v Speaker 1>that confidant for Sheila. She Shyla could be that for her,

0:15:50.960 --> 0:15:53.400
<v Speaker 1>you know, you know, I think that you kind of

0:15:53.440 --> 0:15:57.560
<v Speaker 1>made it about her being friends with Sheila instead of

0:15:57.600 --> 0:16:00.760
<v Speaker 1>making it about the loyalty and the friendship in the

0:16:00.760 --> 0:16:04.080
<v Speaker 1>bond that you and Mirah made. Because nothing can break that,

0:16:04.160 --> 0:16:05.840
<v Speaker 1>not even a bitch that don't like you, not even

0:16:05.880 --> 0:16:07.800
<v Speaker 1>a bitch you don't like. It's supposed to be able

0:16:07.800 --> 0:16:10.080
<v Speaker 1>to come in between you and your good friend, you know.

0:16:10.200 --> 0:16:11.960
<v Speaker 1>And do you feel that they talk about you? Do

0:16:12.000 --> 0:16:15.480
<v Speaker 1>you feel shayless still? You know, talks about you to Mirah.

0:16:15.600 --> 0:16:17.080
<v Speaker 1>Do you feel like they set up and key key

0:16:17.120 --> 0:16:18.840
<v Speaker 1>about you and shit like that. If that's the case,

0:16:18.880 --> 0:16:20.920
<v Speaker 1>then know you're not wrong in this situation. And then

0:16:20.960 --> 0:16:23.080
<v Speaker 1>you just need to leave both of them alone. You know,

0:16:23.120 --> 0:16:26.200
<v Speaker 1>you need to leave Miraa alone. But y'all don't have

0:16:26.280 --> 0:16:29.560
<v Speaker 1>to beef. Y'all could just be long distance homegirls, you know,

0:16:29.640 --> 0:16:32.840
<v Speaker 1>homegirls from a distance associates if you will, you know,

0:16:34.360 --> 0:16:36.520
<v Speaker 1>but check back in, let me know, let me know.

0:16:36.760 --> 0:16:39.200
<v Speaker 1>I am all for you growing into the woman that

0:16:39.280 --> 0:16:41.280
<v Speaker 1>you want to become, and I'm all for you setting

0:16:41.280 --> 0:16:44.800
<v Speaker 1>these standards because at some point in our lives. We

0:16:44.880 --> 0:16:47.880
<v Speaker 1>all have to do that. Okay, I love your girl.

0:16:48.000 --> 0:16:50.160
<v Speaker 1>Check back in with me. If you love me, you'll

0:16:50.200 --> 0:16:52.600
<v Speaker 1>listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back

0:16:55.080 --> 0:16:59.800
<v Speaker 1>and the last story moving on. This is a quick one. Hey, Jazz,

0:17:00.000 --> 0:17:01.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm just going to get straight into it. I need

0:17:01.680 --> 0:17:04.040
<v Speaker 1>you to fix my mess. I've been dealing with this

0:17:04.080 --> 0:17:07.720
<v Speaker 1>guy for six years. Damn, you just been dealing with

0:17:07.800 --> 0:17:09.920
<v Speaker 1>him for six years? What the fuck? And we made

0:17:09.960 --> 0:17:13.159
<v Speaker 1>it official two years ago. I just found out that

0:17:13.240 --> 0:17:16.399
<v Speaker 1>he was married. So now I literally don't know what

0:17:16.480 --> 0:17:20.000
<v Speaker 1>to do. After six years of knowing him and growing

0:17:20.040 --> 0:17:23.240
<v Speaker 1>to be in love with him, two years of being official,

0:17:23.800 --> 0:17:27.960
<v Speaker 1>it's just hard to walk away. Uh well, bitch, throw

0:17:28.040 --> 0:17:30.560
<v Speaker 1>on some skates and roll the fuck on out. What

0:17:30.600 --> 0:17:33.240
<v Speaker 1>the hell is going on? What do you mean? You

0:17:33.280 --> 0:17:35.920
<v Speaker 1>found out he was married, so you've been a mistress.

0:17:36.000 --> 0:17:41.479
<v Speaker 1>You've unknowingly been a mistress for six years, and you

0:17:41.520 --> 0:17:43.520
<v Speaker 1>didn't know how to fuck You ain't know what the

0:17:43.520 --> 0:17:47.399
<v Speaker 1>fuck his wife is a What the fuck? What is she?

0:17:47.480 --> 0:17:51.159
<v Speaker 1>A deaf mute? How to fuck you that live in Antarctica?

0:17:51.760 --> 0:17:55.679
<v Speaker 1>How the fuck you don't know? Oh my god, I

0:17:55.800 --> 0:17:57.480
<v Speaker 1>need to talk to him. Now, how to fuck you

0:17:57.520 --> 0:18:00.919
<v Speaker 1>to the hats? What you done? Hit somebody for six years?

0:18:02.040 --> 0:18:05.680
<v Speaker 1>You hit two women for six years? Unless the wife

0:18:05.720 --> 0:18:08.879
<v Speaker 1>knew about you? How the hell did he hide the

0:18:08.880 --> 0:18:12.040
<v Speaker 1>wife from you for six years and hid you from

0:18:12.080 --> 0:18:16.160
<v Speaker 1>the wife for six years? What the fuck? Girl? Just leave?

0:18:16.200 --> 0:18:18.639
<v Speaker 1>I don't have no advice for that other than leave, girl,

0:18:18.760 --> 0:18:22.040
<v Speaker 1>fucking leave, leave, leave, leave, leave leave. I got so

0:18:22.080 --> 0:18:24.440
<v Speaker 1>many questions. Did you meet the wife yet? How did

0:18:24.480 --> 0:18:26.720
<v Speaker 1>you find out about the wife? Does he live with her?

0:18:27.280 --> 0:18:30.480
<v Speaker 1>What the hell is happening? How old are you? Shit?

0:18:31.520 --> 0:18:36.760
<v Speaker 1>How old is he? We all live? What y'all be doing? God? Damn, girl,

0:18:37.040 --> 0:18:39.800
<v Speaker 1>you don't got much fucking but did he? Oh my god?

0:18:40.520 --> 0:18:43.480
<v Speaker 1>Does he have kids with the wife? Do y'all have children? What? Girl?

0:18:43.480 --> 0:18:45.560
<v Speaker 1>You're gonna send me four sentences and say help me?

0:18:45.640 --> 0:18:48.760
<v Speaker 1>What the fuck? And just like that we come to

0:18:48.800 --> 0:18:50.600
<v Speaker 1>the end of another girl. I gotta get out of here.

0:18:50.640 --> 0:18:53.760
<v Speaker 1>I gotta get out of here this shit. Just tune

0:18:53.760 --> 0:18:56.159
<v Speaker 1>in next week. I hope this bitch come back with something.

0:18:57.160 --> 0:19:01.080
<v Speaker 1>Shit next week, y'all, next week? Out of here? Peace

0:20:12.280 --> 0:20:15.399
<v Speaker 1>can't fully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The

0:20:15.440 --> 0:20:19.920
<v Speaker 1>Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,

0:20:20.200 --> 0:20:23.359
<v Speaker 1>Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.