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Speaker 1: Welcome to Can'tflee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio and

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Speaker 1: The Black Effects. Before we get into this episode, y'all,

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Speaker 1: let me tell you so. We had the first ever

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Speaker 1: Black Effect podcast festival, and y'all know, me and Charlamagne

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Speaker 1: hosted it, well technically me. Charlamagne was reading the cause

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Speaker 1: like he was hooked on phonicshaw And I was so

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Speaker 1: nervous because that was my first time ever doing that shit, right,

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Speaker 1: you know, and I'm too I'm not, you know, I'm

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Speaker 1: transparent enough to let y'all know that. I was very nervous.

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Speaker 1: But when I got there and like the just to

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Speaker 1: see how the crowd embraced me, yo, it was amazing.

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Speaker 1: I had so much fun. We had Porscha Williams, Robin Dixon,

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Speaker 1: Giselle Bryant, Michelle Williams, Mandy and Weezy. What the fuck? Listen? Listen, y'all.

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Speaker 1: I got the footage, some footage coming. Make sure you

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Speaker 1: visit the Can'tfully Reckless page. The girls from Horrible Decisions

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Speaker 1: They had my ass up there, walking them like dogs.

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Speaker 1: Mandy and licked my damn shoe. They's some freaky holes, okay, theys,

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Speaker 1: some freaky bitches I lovem'na have to go. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: have to go on horrible decisions. I'm gonna have to

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Speaker 1: you it may be a good decision for me to

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Speaker 1: go on horrible decisions. I ain't gonna lie. I like

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Speaker 1: them girls, Man, Tam, Bam, and aj. It was so

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Speaker 1: many black creators up in the house. Shout out to

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Speaker 1: Black Effect y'all. That is not the only festival. We're

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Speaker 1: coming back doing this shit yearly. And yes, your girl

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Speaker 1: Just Hilarious will be hosting next year too. I mean

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Speaker 1: they don't know yet, but y'all gotta put y'all bidding.

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Speaker 1: Y'all gotta let them know. Just Larious needs to host

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Speaker 1: every Black Effect podcast festivals. And just like that, we're

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Speaker 1: back on the air. Might check once you want two

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Speaker 1: A real bitch spent the black. What is you gonna do?

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Speaker 1: You're gonna listen, Ain't you're gonna listen because we're back

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Speaker 1: with Just Fix My Mess. Another catholic, reckless episode coming

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Speaker 1: to you right now. We're gonna jump straight in and

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Speaker 1: this episode we got people writing me. God damn it,

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Speaker 1: y'all don't want to send in y'all voices. Now listen,

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Speaker 1: Like last season, I said, I'm gonna keep on saying it.

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Speaker 1: I will read, Yes, I will read it. Ain't like

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Speaker 1: I don't want to. I will read as long as

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Speaker 1: y'all sound smart enough, as long as y'all writing this

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Speaker 1: shit smart, okay, because I don't want to sound a

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Speaker 1: literate when I'm trying to help y'all fix y'all mess shit.

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Speaker 1: A lot of y'all need to get hooked throwing motherfucking

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Speaker 1: phonics before y'all try to send me some goddamn mess

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Speaker 1: all these long run on essay sentences. How's somebody gonna

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Speaker 1: write me a whole fucking Oh this this shit is juicy,

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Speaker 1: but it ain't not one punctuation mark in this motherfucker

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Speaker 1: Jesus Aret. Hey, Jess, I've been dealing with this situation

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Speaker 1: where my family has been treating my as a toddler. Okay,

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Speaker 1: she must admit herself. My family has been treating me

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Speaker 1: as a toddler, and I honestly can't stand it. I

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Speaker 1: may only be eighteen. Oh yeah, she was definitely talking

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Speaker 1: about herself. I may only be eighteen, but I don't

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Speaker 1: even get treated like an eighteen year old. Keep in mind,

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Speaker 1: I'm not even the youngest child. There are many kids

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Speaker 1: born after me. My family keeps talking about marriage, and

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Speaker 1: my ex's mom is convinced that I could possibly be pregnant.

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Speaker 1: But I'm going through college and I would like to

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Speaker 1: form my life in a way where if I were

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Speaker 1: to get pregnant, it would be at a time where

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Speaker 1: I could give my child everything or she needs as

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Speaker 1: a mother and be different. Girl. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: give up on my family, and I really value you

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Speaker 1: and your opinion. But how do I get my family

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Speaker 1: to stop treating me like I'm still in eighth grade

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Speaker 1: and trust me enough to make decisions for myself that

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Speaker 1: require simple common sense. I've prayed about it, but I

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Speaker 1: feel like I need another woman's perspective. I may not

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Speaker 1: be grown, but I deserve my credit where it's due.

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Speaker 1: I'm not still messing with my ex. I have value.

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Speaker 1: I know that's right, Boogie. I have moved on, but

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to break up with his mom at

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Speaker 1: this point. Ooh, okay, so you're still close with his mom. Okay.

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Speaker 1: First of all, I love that you reached out to me.

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Speaker 1: Being as young as you are, I know y'all can

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Speaker 1: have a lot of pride oh my god, and y'all

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Speaker 1: don't want nobody in y'all business. Although y'all put it

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Speaker 1: all a little Instagram and shit, I'm not putting you

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Speaker 1: with them. I'm just saying, y'all because you is one

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Speaker 1: of them, all right. But I absolutely love how you

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Speaker 1: are mature enough to reach out to me on this

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Speaker 1: platform and that you don't mind sharing your story because

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Speaker 1: there are other teenagers that I'm pretty sure feel this

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Speaker 1: way and get treated like a baby, and you know,

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Speaker 1: they actually want to grow up. I have one of

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Speaker 1: my friends. Her daughter is nineteen, and she will not

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Speaker 1: let this little girl grow up. She will not the

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Speaker 1: girl to my baby girl to moved out. Well that's

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Speaker 1: her baby girl too, but she's my baby girl too.

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Speaker 1: She has moved out of her mom's house and everything,

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Speaker 1: you know, and the mom just still comes over her house.

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Speaker 1: And this is one of my friends. So I try

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Speaker 1: to talk to her all the time, like, yo, let

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Speaker 1: that girl grow up. Let her grow up. She has

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Speaker 1: a job, she's making her own money, she got her

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Speaker 1: own car, she's working. He's not in college, but she

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Speaker 1: is an entrepreneur. She has her own business. And these

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Speaker 1: are all qualities that her mom instilled in her, but

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Speaker 1: she's just not ready to see her grow up. Also,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you this advice coming from a mother

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Speaker 1: to someone that's not a mother yet. I have an

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Speaker 1: eleven year old, okay, and I know it's gonna be

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Speaker 1: hard for me to just see him leave the nest.

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Speaker 1: He's my only child, and you know, I'm a boy mom,

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Speaker 1: and he is a mama's boy. You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 1: And it's hard. It's hard. My dad babied me until

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Speaker 1: I was until I got pregnant with my son. That's

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Speaker 1: when I officially was not a baby in my dad's

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Speaker 1: eyes anymore. And that was at twenty years old. I

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Speaker 1: got pregnant at twenty. You know, my dad did not

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Speaker 1: want me to move out. My dad actually got upset

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Speaker 1: with my mom because she let me move out. She

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Speaker 1: didn't fight me on it. Look, that's enough about my

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Speaker 1: father child, because I can go all day on being

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Speaker 1: a daddy's girl and just you know, growing up like that.

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Speaker 1: Back to you, now, you're not gonna like this pool.

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Speaker 1: But you are only eighteen. No, you're not legally grown.

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Speaker 1: You are a young lady, but you're not a I

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Speaker 1: can't even say you're not a one. I want to

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Speaker 1: say that you're not a woman yet, babe, You're not

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Speaker 1: not just yet. I would say twenty one, twenty one,

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Speaker 1: You got another three years until you can go buy

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Speaker 1: some drinks. You got another three years until you can

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Speaker 1: even get in a goddamn club. Girl. You got three years,

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Speaker 1: three years until your parents are gonna say that you

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Speaker 1: word grown, okay, And I want to say this, Hey,

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Speaker 1: at least you still got your parents. You know, a

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Speaker 1: lot of eighteen year olds are out here having to

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Speaker 1: fend for themselves and are wishing to have parents that

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Speaker 1: could still treat them like a baby. You know, I

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Speaker 1: love that, the fact that you're being nurtured. It's a

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Speaker 1: lot of shit going on out in this world, sex trafficking,

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Speaker 1: young women and children are being targeted by older men,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, and out the country both

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Speaker 1: it used to be outside the country more. But what

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Speaker 1: social media has done, which can sometimes be a gift

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Speaker 1: in the curse that social media, it has opened up

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Speaker 1: our eyes to see what is more publicized now, and

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Speaker 1: that is crime, a lot of fucking crime. You gotta

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Speaker 1: be careful. These men are praying on y'all. Young girls,

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Speaker 1: on these dating apps and on social media, and they're

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Speaker 1: watching what y'all post, y'all revealing y'all body parts, and

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Speaker 1: like not saying you, but I'm saying y'all because you

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Speaker 1: are eighteen, so you're a part of the you know,

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Speaker 1: the younger generation, you know, the millennials. I'd say, but

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Speaker 1: I want you to be more grateful for that than

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Speaker 1: upset about it, because there will be one day that

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Speaker 1: you look back and you're gonna be like, it wasn't

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Speaker 1: so bad. It wasn't so bad. They've done well with

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Speaker 1: you to this point. You know, they have done well

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Speaker 1: with you. You seem to be a great young lady,

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Speaker 1: and I'm gonna give that credit to your parents, you know,

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Speaker 1: and then just you growing up figuring out who you are.

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Speaker 1: You know, you got three more years for that. You

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Speaker 1: got well the rest of your life for that. But

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Speaker 1: you got three more years until you'll be on your

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Speaker 1: own for everything, with everything. So I don't have advice

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Speaker 1: on how you can be growner or show that you

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Speaker 1: are so grown that you don't need them to be

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Speaker 1: on your back all the time. No, I say I

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Speaker 1: love it. I say I love it. H And if

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Speaker 1: you value me in my opinion, then you would love

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Speaker 1: what I just said to you. Okay, baby girl, Now

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Speaker 1: what's all this about this ex mama who thinks that

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Speaker 1: you are pregnant and all of that shit? What the

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Speaker 1: hell's going on with that? I need to see what's

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Speaker 1: going on. And then that also tells me. If the

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Speaker 1: mom thinks that you're pregnant, then you two are having sex?

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Speaker 1: Is what that means? And that also promised me to

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Speaker 1: ask you, is that why you think you so damn

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Speaker 1: grown and that they shouldn't baby you all the time?

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Speaker 1: It's because you out here having sex? Is that? Why

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Speaker 1: does that have anything to do with it? And then

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Speaker 1: that much to have come from her son, your ex

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Speaker 1: boyfriend if she thinks it, unless you done gave her

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Speaker 1: some type of little inkling to think that you're pregnant,

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Speaker 1: she ain't gonna thank you pregnant for no reason pool

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Speaker 1: mm hm. So you need to figure that out, and

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Speaker 1: I need to know if you are as well, because

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Speaker 1: that also is gonna be a reason that that also

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Speaker 1: could be a reason why you don't want nobody to

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Speaker 1: baby you because you got a little baby in you

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Speaker 1: and you bet not. Okay, you got college and some

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Speaker 1: good things and some businesses to run and some shit

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Speaker 1: to do before you need to sit down and have

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Speaker 1: a baby. Okay, And I know I'm not the only

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Speaker 1: one that has told you this. Okay, Actually that ex'es

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Speaker 1: mom need to be telling you this. I don't know

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Speaker 1: if she's one of them that's trying to be your

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Speaker 1: fucking friend or what you know, and trying to be

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Speaker 1: so cool with your little ass that she don't want

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Speaker 1: to tell you that this is wrong. And look at

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Speaker 1: the bigger picture. I want to also know how old

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Speaker 1: her ass is and did you did y'all have sex

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Speaker 1: in her house? And uh uh huh, because it don't

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Speaker 1: seem like you could be having sex and you are

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Speaker 1: not with your parents ban all over your back, which

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Speaker 1: is a good thing and my opinion, So check back

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Speaker 1: in with me. I love you, I love you. I

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Speaker 1: love you. This is not me coming down hard on you.

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Speaker 1: This is not me trying to sound like everybody else.

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Speaker 1: This is just the truth and cold hard facts. Be

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Speaker 1: careful out here, Do not try to grow up too fast.

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Speaker 1: Be careful, Be careful for as long as you can

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Speaker 1: hold up. Hold up. I noticed shit getting good. But

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Speaker 1: listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If

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Speaker 1: you love me, you'll listen. Moving on, guys, Hey, Jess,

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Speaker 1: my bestie of over a decade became friends with this

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Speaker 1: girl that really hurt me and bullied me for years.

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Speaker 1: This girl, let's call her Shila, has even snaked my

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Speaker 1: best friend let's call her Mira as well. Mira and

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Speaker 1: I had a falling out and recently picked up where

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Speaker 1: we left off, and she told me that her sisters

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Speaker 1: is friends with Shila, but she is not. Mia posted

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Speaker 1: on her ig both of them going out to eat.

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Speaker 1: I texted her a long paragraph telling her that I

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Speaker 1: love her, but I cannot continue to be friends with

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Speaker 1: someone that is friends with Sheila. Mara texted back, ensuring

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Speaker 1: me that she has no problem cutting her off for

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Speaker 1: me because she is loyal to me. I said, okay, cool.

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Speaker 1: She started making me feel weird and made it seem

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Speaker 1: like I forced her to cut her off and I

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Speaker 1: did not. All I said was I do not want

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Speaker 1: to be associated with someone that is comfortable being friends

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Speaker 1: with someone that hurt me, and she's the one that

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Speaker 1: decided to cut her off and keep me as her friend.

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Speaker 1: Mara doesn't have me on Snapchat anymore since we fell

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Speaker 1: out last time, but I still remember her snap name.

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Speaker 1: I had a weird feeling one day I looked up

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Speaker 1: her name and saw that she posted up at Shyla's house. Dumb.

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Speaker 1: I screenshot at the snaps and texted her that I

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Speaker 1: am not interested in being friends with her anymore and

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Speaker 1: broke down in tears because I felt that in my

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Speaker 1: soul that our friendship was really done this time. I'm

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Speaker 1: so sad, but I also feel like I'm starting to

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Speaker 1: have standards for myself, and I'm a little proud of

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Speaker 1: myself for deciding to no longer deal with fake friends.

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Speaker 1: My question is am I wrong in this situation. I've

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Speaker 1: never had real friends before because I used to be

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Speaker 1: the type of person to be friends with anyone. Now

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Speaker 1: that I'm twenty seven, I'm finally figuring out what type

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Speaker 1: of people I want in my circle, and be that

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Speaker 1: as it may. You are right, Okay, No, you are

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Speaker 1: not wrong in this situation, baby girl. First of all,

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Speaker 1: thank you for sending in your story. You're twenty seven. Yes,

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Speaker 1: you're still young. You know you're not a teenager, but

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Speaker 1: you are a young woman, and I think this is

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Speaker 1: the good time. What better time. It's a perfect time

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Speaker 1: to be growing in to the woman that you want

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Speaker 1: to become, you know, because you got three more years

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Speaker 1: until thirty. And they say, you know, and based off

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Speaker 1: of my own experience around that time at twenty seven,

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Speaker 1: twenty eight, twenty nine, thirty, I started losing friends. I

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Speaker 1: started losing you know. I was what they call a

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Speaker 1: hopeless romantic in relationships and friendships as well. I would

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Speaker 1: give anybody a chance to be my friend, backstab me,

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Speaker 1: do this, do that, and you know, fuck around with

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Speaker 1: people who I You know, I've been in your situation

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Speaker 1: before around that same age. And so you're doing everything

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Speaker 1: that you can do possibly right to set standards for yourself.

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Speaker 1: That's good. You're figuring out who you are, like you said,

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Speaker 1: and everybody can't come with you. People outgrow people. I

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Speaker 1: just got finished telling a friend this the other day. Yes,

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Speaker 1: people do outgrow each other. You know. That goes for relationships,

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Speaker 1: that goes for family members, that goes for friendships. You know,

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Speaker 1: everybody's not going to be on your level, whether you're

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Speaker 1: higher or lower, whether you're the one taking forever to

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Speaker 1: evolve or whether they're the ones that's taking forever to evolve.

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Speaker 1: Everybody can't stay glued together, you know, because people have

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Speaker 1: to go separate ways to grow and then you come back.

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Speaker 1: You can revisit a friendship. But sometimes it's not meant

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Speaker 1: for you guys to stay as close or to be

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Speaker 1: as close as you guys once were. Sometimes you have

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Speaker 1: to be friends from a distance. You don't have to be.

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Speaker 1: But that can be that homegirl that you call every

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Speaker 1: now and then to check on, and it's like no

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Speaker 1: bad blood, but no harm done, no harm, no foul,

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Speaker 1: no love lost. You know, you could be the homegirl

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Speaker 1: that she calls every now and then. I'm just calling

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Speaker 1: to check on you, see where you are in your life.

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Speaker 1: If you need anything, love your girl, talk to you soon.

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Speaker 1: It could be that it doesn't have to be a beef,

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Speaker 1: but it doesn't necessarily have to be a best friendship either.

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Speaker 1: Also in her defense, in Mira's defense, I can understand

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Speaker 1: if she's the type of female that feels like this

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Speaker 1: she hurt you, she didn't hurt me. We were all

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Speaker 1: friends at one point, and this girl hurt you, she

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Speaker 1: didn't hurt me. I can tell her about herself all

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Speaker 1: goddamn day. I can tell her my opinion on how

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Speaker 1: she did you as my friend and how she did

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Speaker 1: our friend. That was fucked up, that was wrong. Maybe

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Speaker 1: she realized that it was wrong. But you didn't want

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Speaker 1: to be Shayla's friend anymore because of how badly she

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Speaker 1: treated you as a friend once before, bullied you and

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Speaker 1: all that. She could have grown out of that, but

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Speaker 1: you don't want. You don't have no words for her

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Speaker 1: because you can't forgive that and be that as it may.

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Speaker 1: Maybe you can't forgive that. But if Mia and Sheila

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Speaker 1: were friends before, they could still have a friendship, and

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Speaker 1: Marra could still be loyal to you as long as

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Speaker 1: Sheila don't talk shit about you to Mirah. I think

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Speaker 1: they're good, you know, I think I think that's how

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Speaker 1: Mara feels. And I think Mara just was caught in

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Speaker 1: a situation where she didn't want you to be mad

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Speaker 1: at her, because you obviously are one of her good friends,

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Speaker 1: and she's obviously one of your good friends too, you know,

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Speaker 1: or was one of your good friends. You know. She

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Speaker 1: just was caught in the middle, and she didn't want

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Speaker 1: to choose, so she was sneaking going to hang with Sheila.

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Speaker 1: Her and Sheila could have a bond, They could do

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Speaker 1: something for each other. She could be a good that

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Speaker 1: that confidant for Sheila. She Shyla could be that for her,

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Speaker 1: you know, you know, I think that you kind of

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Speaker 1: made it about her being friends with Sheila instead of

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Speaker 1: making it about the loyalty and the friendship in the

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Speaker 1: bond that you and Mirah made. Because nothing can break that,

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Speaker 1: not even a bitch that don't like you, not even

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Speaker 1: a bitch you don't like. It's supposed to be able

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Speaker 1: to come in between you and your good friend, you know.

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Speaker 1: And do you feel that they talk about you? Do

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Speaker 1: you feel shayless still? You know, talks about you to Mirah.

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Speaker 1: Do you feel like they set up and key key

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Speaker 1: about you and shit like that. If that's the case,

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Speaker 1: then know you're not wrong in this situation. And then

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Speaker 1: you just need to leave both of them alone. You know,

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Speaker 1: you need to leave Miraa alone. But y'all don't have

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Speaker 1: to beef. Y'all could just be long distance homegirls, you know,

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Speaker 1: homegirls from a distance associates if you will, you know,

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Speaker 1: but check back in, let me know, let me know.

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Speaker 1: I am all for you growing into the woman that

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Speaker 1: you want to become, and I'm all for you setting

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Speaker 1: these standards because at some point in our lives. We

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Speaker 1: all have to do that. Okay, I love your girl.

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Speaker 1: Check back in with me. If you love me, you'll

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Speaker 1: listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back

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Speaker 1: and the last story moving on. This is a quick one. Hey, Jazz,

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Speaker 1: I'm just going to get straight into it. I need

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Speaker 1: you to fix my mess. I've been dealing with this

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Speaker 1: guy for six years. Damn, you just been dealing with

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Speaker 1: him for six years? What the fuck? And we made

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Speaker 1: it official two years ago. I just found out that

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Speaker 1: he was married. So now I literally don't know what

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Speaker 1: to do. After six years of knowing him and growing

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Speaker 1: to be in love with him, two years of being official,

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Speaker 1: it's just hard to walk away. Uh well, bitch, throw

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Speaker 1: on some skates and roll the fuck on out. What

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Speaker 1: the hell is going on? What do you mean? You

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Speaker 1: found out he was married, so you've been a mistress.

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Speaker 1: You've unknowingly been a mistress for six years, and you

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Speaker 1: didn't know how to fuck You ain't know what the

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Speaker 1: fuck his wife is a What the fuck? What is she?

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Speaker 1: A deaf mute? How to fuck you that live in Antarctica?

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Speaker 1: How the fuck you don't know? Oh my god, I

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Speaker 1: need to talk to him. Now, how to fuck you

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Speaker 1: to the hats? What you done? Hit somebody for six years?

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Speaker 1: You hit two women for six years? Unless the wife

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Speaker 1: knew about you? How the hell did he hide the

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Speaker 1: wife from you for six years and hid you from

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Speaker 1: the wife for six years? What the fuck? Girl? Just leave?

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Speaker 1: I don't have no advice for that other than leave, girl,

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Speaker 1: fucking leave, leave, leave, leave, leave leave. I got so

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Speaker 1: many questions. Did you meet the wife yet? How did

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Speaker 1: you find out about the wife? Does he live with her?

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Speaker 1: What the hell is happening? How old are you? Shit?

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Speaker 1: How old is he? We all live? What y'all be doing? God? Damn, girl,

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Speaker 1: you don't got much fucking but did he? Oh my god?

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Speaker 1: Does he have kids with the wife? Do y'all have children? What? Girl?

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Speaker 1: You're gonna send me four sentences and say help me?

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Speaker 1: What the fuck? And just like that we come to

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Speaker 1: the end of another girl. I gotta get out of here.

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Speaker 1: I gotta get out of here this shit. Just tune

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Speaker 1: in next week. I hope this bitch come back with something.

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Speaker 1: Shit next week, y'all, next week? Out of here? Peace

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Speaker 1: can't fully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The

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Speaker 1: Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,

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Speaker 1: Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.