1 00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:04,640 Speaker 1: I mean the links we've gone to today to be here. 2 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:06,560 Speaker 2: With you, guys, this struggle is real. 3 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:10,360 Speaker 3: You only knew. This just goes to show that we're 4 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:11,680 Speaker 3: really happy to be back. 5 00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:15,160 Speaker 2: Ohly not only hosts this thing and produces it and 6 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:17,560 Speaker 2: edits it and does all the typing and stuff, but 7 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:20,960 Speaker 2: she's also our tech guru, which is. 8 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:24,680 Speaker 1: Bad for everyone. I am the most fun tech savvy human. 9 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,920 Speaker 1: Oh not maybe the most, but like, it is not 10 00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:30,360 Speaker 1: a natural skill set of mine. So then when I 11 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:32,320 Speaker 1: used to have like Velvet's Edge the blog, I must 12 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:33,800 Speaker 1: still have it, but I don't do anything with it. 13 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,960 Speaker 1: I was always thinking it was so funny. I'm like, 14 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:37,760 Speaker 1: why am I running a website? 15 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:41,360 Speaker 3: Like know what I'm doing? Hey? 16 00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:42,400 Speaker 2: I mean I got you here. 17 00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:43,800 Speaker 1: I did. 18 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:45,880 Speaker 2: But the funny thing is is like we were looking, 19 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:47,879 Speaker 2: we're on zoom. We're recording on Zoom today, so we're 20 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:49,800 Speaker 2: looking at each other but can't hear each other and 21 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:55,680 Speaker 2: texting like we're hard of hearing. So I'm like, and 22 00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,640 Speaker 2: then Kelly called and I was like, oh, that makes 23 00:00:57,680 --> 00:00:59,440 Speaker 2: more sense. We can actually hear each other if we 24 00:00:59,480 --> 00:00:59,960 Speaker 2: can right. 25 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:08,160 Speaker 1: Sign language to each other. Nope, Wow, hello everyone. We 26 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:11,040 Speaker 1: took two weeks off the podcast. How do you feel 27 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:11,479 Speaker 1: about that? 28 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:13,760 Speaker 2: I mean, it's hard to get back in the swing 29 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:17,800 Speaker 2: of things. I mean, squim, that's breaking, like our. 30 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:20,480 Speaker 1: Pets heads are falling off. Yeah, do you even know 31 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:21,040 Speaker 1: what that's wrong? 32 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:21,800 Speaker 2: No? 33 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:23,160 Speaker 3: Oh my god? 34 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:25,840 Speaker 2: What is that? It's probably like a reference to like 35 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:27,960 Speaker 2: Seinfeld or something dumb and dummer. 36 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:30,840 Speaker 1: Are you kidding me right now? This really makes me 37 00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:31,840 Speaker 1: question our friendship. 38 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:33,880 Speaker 2: I have seen dumba dumber a bunch, but I don't 39 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:34,600 Speaker 2: get the reference. 40 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:37,920 Speaker 1: There's that one scene and he's like, I don't remember 41 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:39,959 Speaker 1: what he says. He's listening all the bad things that 42 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 1: are happening, and he says, our head pets heads are 43 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:46,919 Speaker 1: falling off because he tried to tape that kid's bird 44 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,760 Speaker 1: pet like they killed the bird. He tries to tape 45 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:52,560 Speaker 1: the head back on and the head just like falls 46 00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:54,960 Speaker 1: off and the kid goes crazy. I think I'm getting 47 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:55,200 Speaker 1: that right. 48 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:55,640 Speaker 3: Who knows. 49 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:57,640 Speaker 1: The people listening are probably like, that is totally not 50 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:02,160 Speaker 1: But anyway, that is is the line. I can't believe 51 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,600 Speaker 1: you don't know it. But anyway, we take two weeks off, 52 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:05,880 Speaker 1: we're a little out of practice. 53 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:08,560 Speaker 2: Talk. 54 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm having the hardest time even getting back into 55 00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:14,959 Speaker 1: work mode at all. Like it's like you go so hard, 56 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:17,720 Speaker 1: balls to the wall, work work, work, work, work, and 57 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:20,760 Speaker 1: then you finally crash, and then you get really used 58 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:23,720 Speaker 1: to the crash, like having a lot of chill time, 59 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:27,160 Speaker 1: leisurely taking walks every day, like these are the things 60 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:31,640 Speaker 1: that I've been doing, cooking, organizing my house, you know, 61 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:32,959 Speaker 1: things of that nature. 62 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:37,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, being an adult, Yeah, I definitely experience that myself too, 63 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:41,120 Speaker 2: Like I have trouble when when I do allow myself 64 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:43,360 Speaker 2: to take a break actually taking the break, because then 65 00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:46,440 Speaker 2: I start to feel really guilty and it's gonna and 66 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:49,520 Speaker 2: without me, and I hate that. But then once I'm settled, 67 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:52,240 Speaker 2: it's really hard to get back into the swing of things. 68 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:54,800 Speaker 1: That's where I am right now, But I am happy 69 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:59,320 Speaker 1: to be back. We actually, you know, whenever, the last 70 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:03,079 Speaker 1: time we recorded that was forty and now I'm forty one. 71 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:06,240 Speaker 2: I'm flag, y'all really a whole year. 72 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:11,160 Speaker 1: We were talking earlier and I said to you, it's 73 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:16,880 Speaker 1: so interesting because I am really enjoying aging. But I 74 00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:20,360 Speaker 1: feel like when I was younger, I was really scared 75 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:21,080 Speaker 1: to get older. 76 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:22,480 Speaker 3: Do you relate to that at all? 77 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:26,360 Speaker 2: I mean, I felt like as a kid, I always 78 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:29,560 Speaker 2: wanted to be older. Yeah. Then as i'm as I'm 79 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:33,079 Speaker 2: getting older, I don't want to be old, but I 80 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:35,200 Speaker 2: like being wiser. Yeah. 81 00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:37,320 Speaker 1: Well I think that's what I equated to as well. 82 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:39,800 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I mean if you could keep your body 83 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:43,080 Speaker 1: the body of a twenty year old but keep your 84 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:45,240 Speaker 1: mind growing, wouldn't that be amazing? 85 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:45,880 Speaker 2: Yes? 86 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:48,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, someone figured that out for us. 87 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:51,920 Speaker 2: Either way, though, I saw an article not that long 88 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 2: ago that there's this guy I forget where he was, 89 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:58,840 Speaker 2: I want to say Austria, but he was doing blood 90 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:00,880 Speaker 2: transfusions from his son. 91 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 3: Oh, I feel like I heard about that. 92 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:08,200 Speaker 2: And claiming that it made him younger or like made 93 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:11,000 Speaker 2: him stay younger. And then I more recently read an 94 00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:14,440 Speaker 2: article about a scientist that spent like thirty or sixty 95 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:22,000 Speaker 2: days underwater, like living underwater like a pod, and there 96 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:24,760 Speaker 2: was something on the cellular level that changed that made 97 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:26,040 Speaker 2: his cells younger. 98 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:26,880 Speaker 3: I have a lot of. 99 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:30,440 Speaker 1: Questions about that. Yeah, like what did he do? Was 100 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:31,480 Speaker 1: he put to sleep? 101 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:33,880 Speaker 2: Like? No? I think he was living in a like 102 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:36,159 Speaker 2: a I don't think it obviously it wasn't like a 103 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:38,920 Speaker 2: deep water situation like a submarine. 104 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:44,119 Speaker 3: Not well, I don't know, some sort of wind pod 105 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:46,040 Speaker 3: like you know other people. 106 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,560 Speaker 2: A submerged pod of sorts. 107 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:50,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, or did he use the bathroom? 108 00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:53,680 Speaker 2: Are there's probably a little toilet or something situation there 109 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:56,640 Speaker 2: must be obviously if I can find it, we can 110 00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:57,080 Speaker 2: share it. 111 00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:00,040 Speaker 1: Okay, that is just a really yeah, I just I 112 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:01,760 Speaker 1: have a lot of questions about that. First of all, 113 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:04,520 Speaker 1: I would hate to be underwater. I would feel so claustrophobic. 114 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:06,200 Speaker 1: And then I definitely would hate to live in a 115 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:08,880 Speaker 1: in a pod. I could be in there for a 116 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:12,880 Speaker 1: second maybe, but thirty to sixty days, I mean mental 117 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:16,080 Speaker 1: health wise, it seems like you would go crazy or. 118 00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:18,320 Speaker 2: Read a lot of books. He lived It was one 119 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:24,080 Speaker 2: hundred days underwater in the Florida Keys. 120 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:27,279 Speaker 3: One hundred days. And what does the pod look like? 121 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:32,400 Speaker 2: He was submerged weight? Let me see. He was submerged 122 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:35,039 Speaker 2: beneath twenty two feet of water in Key Largo Lagoon. 123 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:39,080 Speaker 2: The diving Explorer medical researcher shattered the previous mark of 124 00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:41,800 Speaker 2: seventy three days, two hours, and thirty four minutes. I 125 00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 2: think he might have just been swimming around. 126 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:46,880 Speaker 3: What do you mean swimming around? 127 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,280 Speaker 2: I think he had a oh no, here it is 128 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:52,240 Speaker 2: there's a video. We'll come back to this. 129 00:05:52,839 --> 00:05:53,400 Speaker 3: We will. 130 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:56,200 Speaker 2: I mean, it's weird if I watch a video, but 131 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:57,479 Speaker 2: fuck it, let's watch a video. 132 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,560 Speaker 1: Oh, you're watching a video to see what he's doing. 133 00:05:59,680 --> 00:06:02,120 Speaker 1: You know, it's always so interesting. I will have an 134 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:05,000 Speaker 1: outline for these edge podcasts, and I just never really 135 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:05,800 Speaker 1: know where they're could. 136 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:06,719 Speaker 2: Take it where you never know. 137 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:08,359 Speaker 3: I never knew this pod. 138 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:11,160 Speaker 1: I mean a man living under the water for a 139 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:15,280 Speaker 1: hundred days. Oh, you're actually watching it right now. 140 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:18,039 Speaker 2: Well, I'm turning the sound of Yeah, he lives in 141 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:20,600 Speaker 2: this like little pod. It looks like the Space Shuttle. 142 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:24,359 Speaker 2: There's a bad I'll send the link. People can watch it. 143 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:27,040 Speaker 1: Okay, we'll put this into the description of this podcast 144 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:29,440 Speaker 1: if you if you guys are curious. I had definitely 145 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:32,520 Speaker 1: gonna look, this is fascinating. So he thought that helped 146 00:06:32,520 --> 00:06:33,599 Speaker 1: with aging to start. 147 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:36,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, there was something the first article that I read 148 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:39,279 Speaker 2: said something about like I forget the terms because it 149 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:44,760 Speaker 2: was so scientific, but something on the cellular level reversed 150 00:06:45,440 --> 00:06:49,720 Speaker 2: and it was like a youthful thing was happening. 151 00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:51,360 Speaker 3: That is wild. 152 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:56,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, well, anyway, aging really is kind of amazing. If 153 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:59,120 Speaker 1: you're talking about the mental and emotional aspect of it. 154 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:02,080 Speaker 1: And I was actually posted this on my Instagram yesterday. 155 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:05,120 Speaker 1: But the more I've been thinking about it, because people 156 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:08,680 Speaker 1: are like asking me, you know, what do I miss 157 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:10,760 Speaker 1: about my twenties and thirties, And there is not one 158 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:13,680 Speaker 1: thing I can go maybe, like again, it's like a 159 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,480 Speaker 1: physical thing, you know, Like I don't know, but I 160 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:19,120 Speaker 1: feel pretty healthy and good too right now, And so 161 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:22,040 Speaker 1: that's I think your forties are kind of interesting that way, 162 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:25,160 Speaker 1: or maybe the younger forties because you definitely feel like 163 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:27,360 Speaker 1: you're getting older and you look at but you don't. 164 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:30,080 Speaker 1: It's not too extreme yet to where you feel really. 165 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:30,760 Speaker 3: Down about it. 166 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:34,720 Speaker 1: Maybe I don't know, maybe that's just me, But mentally 167 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:39,320 Speaker 1: and emotionally, this is probably the most free I think 168 00:07:39,320 --> 00:07:41,840 Speaker 1: I've ever felt in my life. Like I feel like 169 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:43,880 Speaker 1: I know who I am to a different level than 170 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:47,320 Speaker 1: I ever have a lot of the pressures that I 171 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:49,560 Speaker 1: felt when I was twenty and thirty. In my twenties 172 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:51,720 Speaker 1: and thirties to like figure out what I'm gonna do 173 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:54,600 Speaker 1: with my life or if I'm gonna get married or 174 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,600 Speaker 1: have kids or all those things, I don't feel that 175 00:07:56,720 --> 00:08:00,320 Speaker 1: pressure anymore. It just sort of is like take life 176 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:02,840 Speaker 1: as it comes is more of the the way that 177 00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:06,800 Speaker 1: your forties feel, and so it's relieving. It's just like, 178 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,720 Speaker 1: oh my god, I can show up every day and 179 00:08:09,880 --> 00:08:12,920 Speaker 1: just be where I am that day and kind of 180 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,239 Speaker 1: take life as it comes. 181 00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:15,920 Speaker 3: It's very enjoyable to me. 182 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:18,040 Speaker 2: Well, I mean it's you you remove some of the 183 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:21,360 Speaker 2: like stop watches in your life. You know, it's when 184 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:24,560 Speaker 2: you're when when you're like I mean, honestly, that's like 185 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:28,240 Speaker 2: trying to tempt fate, you know, by putting these like 186 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:29,400 Speaker 2: guardrails up that. 187 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,840 Speaker 1: Well, that's all like these man made constructs that we've created. 188 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:37,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's nice, you know. I mean this in the 189 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:41,959 Speaker 2: same way too. It's like I remember when it was funny. 190 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:45,640 Speaker 2: I was had lunch with an old coworker today and 191 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:47,880 Speaker 2: we were talking about like when we were younger, like 192 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:50,760 Speaker 2: the hustle and like how we would work till nine 193 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:52,839 Speaker 2: thirty at night and like, yeah, you had to be 194 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:54,320 Speaker 2: the first ones in and had to be the last 195 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:56,800 Speaker 2: ones out and like trying to prove something. And it's 196 00:08:56,880 --> 00:09:01,080 Speaker 2: like now that I'm older, there's so much more work 197 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:05,679 Speaker 2: life balance, and it's like, yes, will I do that? 198 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:09,240 Speaker 2: Of course, I'm a workaholic, but it's also like, I 199 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:11,880 Speaker 2: only do that when it's absolutely necessary, if there's something 200 00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:15,480 Speaker 2: that's super urgent that needs to get done. Otherwise I'm like, 201 00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:18,640 Speaker 2: there's tomorrow and we're not like this isn't you know, 202 00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:22,960 Speaker 2: we're not saving lives here, so and you know, I 203 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,080 Speaker 2: just think that just comes with being older and more 204 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:28,079 Speaker 2: comfortable in who you are and understanding sort of your 205 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:31,800 Speaker 2: place in the universe. And I think it's a really 206 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:35,000 Speaker 2: healthy thing. But I also too. Part of our conversation 207 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:39,160 Speaker 2: was about whether or not people that are that age 208 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:42,400 Speaker 2: now still work that way, because I do think that 209 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:46,480 Speaker 2: because mental health is such a larger part of the conversation, 210 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:49,360 Speaker 2: younger people now are like oh it's five oh one, 211 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:50,200 Speaker 2: I'm out. 212 00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:51,040 Speaker 3: Oh for sure. 213 00:09:51,160 --> 00:09:54,960 Speaker 1: I mean people who have worked for me, I have. 214 00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:56,440 Speaker 3: It pissed me off for a while. 215 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:59,280 Speaker 1: I was like, right, is this work in the world, 216 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:02,000 Speaker 1: because I'm so used to having to hustle for everything 217 00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:06,000 Speaker 1: I've gotten. And I don't mean to say to anyone 218 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,200 Speaker 1: who's listening who's in their twenties or thirties, like I'm 219 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:11,560 Speaker 1: not sure that you could skip that step, if that 220 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:15,199 Speaker 1: makes sense, Like, like, I do think the pressures are 221 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:19,080 Speaker 1: there because you don't have the things in place that 222 00:10:19,120 --> 00:10:22,280 Speaker 1: we have at this point of our lives, and like fertility, 223 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:24,640 Speaker 1: for instance, like there is a clock on that I've 224 00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:25,760 Speaker 1: just passed the point. 225 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,440 Speaker 2: So you've accepted that. 226 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:28,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think I had to, you know, and 227 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:31,000 Speaker 1: I had to go through major grieving for that. But 228 00:10:31,520 --> 00:10:34,320 Speaker 1: then at the on the flip side, now I'm thinking 229 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:38,599 Speaker 1: of life in a different way of just like I 230 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:41,880 Speaker 1: don't know, I've just had these new awarenesses of things 231 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:44,520 Speaker 1: don't have to look exactly as I thought they did 232 00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:47,880 Speaker 1: for me to be fulfilled and happy and that you know, 233 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,120 Speaker 1: kids and marriage and all of that is one of 234 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:52,680 Speaker 1: those and I think we put so much pressure on 235 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:56,160 Speaker 1: ourselves to answer those questions or to figure out like 236 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,280 Speaker 1: what our job is going to be, and to hustle 237 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:01,600 Speaker 1: to get a certain place. Again, you do have to, 238 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:04,360 Speaker 1: like I didn't get where I got from sitting on 239 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,800 Speaker 1: my ass, Like that doesn't that's not how it works. 240 00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:09,200 Speaker 1: But I think then you kind of can settle in 241 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:12,840 Speaker 1: maybe a little bit. And that's definitely not to say 242 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,839 Speaker 1: that things haven't fallen apart or changed or shifted and 243 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:19,079 Speaker 1: maybe don't look exactly like I think. But I also 244 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,440 Speaker 1: feel a little more trusting of the universe at this 245 00:11:21,559 --> 00:11:24,640 Speaker 1: point that if I just keep going and I show up, 246 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:29,240 Speaker 1: things will happen as they should, and probably even better 247 00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:31,520 Speaker 1: than I think or could control them to happen. 248 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:35,520 Speaker 2: You've also survived things falling apart enough times to realize 249 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,160 Speaker 2: you're going to survive things falling apart. 250 00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:38,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, you can, you know. 251 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,840 Speaker 2: And I think that's why it's important to take risks 252 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:43,480 Speaker 2: and make mist and be willing like allow yourself to 253 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:48,760 Speaker 2: make mistakes, and because ultimately you've learned that, like we're resilient. 254 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:51,520 Speaker 2: And I saw someone post a meme today that just 255 00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:54,480 Speaker 2: said the job is just getting back up, and it 256 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:57,720 Speaker 2: was it was a bowling pin, and like that really is. 257 00:11:57,760 --> 00:12:01,360 Speaker 2: It's the hardest thing because I tell you've gotten knocked 258 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:05,559 Speaker 2: over and gotten back up enough times you think that 259 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:08,840 Speaker 2: getting knocked over is the end. But when you teach 260 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,600 Speaker 2: yourself that you can get back up, that is the 261 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:15,040 Speaker 2: lesson every time, and then suddenly getting knocked over is 262 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:15,839 Speaker 2: not scary at all. 263 00:12:16,559 --> 00:12:20,040 Speaker 1: I would even change it to the biggest lesson for 264 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:23,040 Speaker 1: me has been to just keep walking through, like right, 265 00:12:23,440 --> 00:12:25,080 Speaker 1: like the get back up. I think I had that 266 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,440 Speaker 1: mentality when I was younger, and it sort of to 267 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:31,360 Speaker 1: me looked like I'm going to be like angry and 268 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:33,480 Speaker 1: fight back and all of those things. And now it 269 00:12:33,559 --> 00:12:35,520 Speaker 1: sort of feels like I'm gonna be exactly where I 270 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:38,200 Speaker 1: need to be. So if that's in a pain pain 271 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:41,320 Speaker 1: place and a breakup and a heartbreak and a loss 272 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:43,680 Speaker 1: and a thing, like, I'm going to feel that and 273 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:46,440 Speaker 1: I'm gonna keep walking through it, which is a similar mentality, right, 274 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:50,800 Speaker 1: they're saying, but there's no emotion, yeah, but knowing that 275 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:53,440 Speaker 1: there is another side, Like it really is true this 276 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:55,840 Speaker 1: two shot pass. As much as you might hate hearing that, 277 00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:59,360 Speaker 1: it always does. And then the things that don't pass 278 00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,560 Speaker 1: you learn to with in a different way and you 279 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:04,480 Speaker 1: can hold that like we are made to do that 280 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:06,720 Speaker 1: and it's just all part of each of our journeys. 281 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:13,080 Speaker 1: So anyway, I'm really enjoying getting older, and yeah, I'm 282 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:17,000 Speaker 1: just learning life, like just keep continuing to learn and 283 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:19,520 Speaker 1: continuing to get back up, like you said. And also 284 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:23,680 Speaker 1: I sort of think I feel the like the promise 285 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,840 Speaker 1: of the universe again, like I felt it in my 286 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:27,880 Speaker 1: twenties and then maybe I got a little dragged down 287 00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:30,400 Speaker 1: in my thirties and it felt it felt more defeated. 288 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:32,040 Speaker 3: The stakes were higher. 289 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:34,880 Speaker 1: In my thirties in my twenties, but then you're like, 290 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:36,960 Speaker 1: I don't know. 291 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:38,160 Speaker 3: You feel like it's hard. 292 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,880 Speaker 1: It was hard for me to let go and let 293 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:43,320 Speaker 1: the universe drive what my life was going to be. Like, 294 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:46,280 Speaker 1: I just still felt very much pressure, and I think 295 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:48,839 Speaker 1: that's fair. I think you're trying to figure yourself out. 296 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:52,080 Speaker 1: But then now I just feel this like piece of 297 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:55,880 Speaker 1: trusting because like, Lord knows, I don't fucking know. I mean, 298 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:59,560 Speaker 1: I've tried, I tried everything, so I'm just gonna keep 299 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:02,560 Speaker 1: showing up. And I do believe that things present themselves 300 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:04,360 Speaker 1: and there's a lot of peace and that kind of 301 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:07,559 Speaker 1: letting go and a lot of freedom. So I actually 302 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,679 Speaker 1: had some questions from listeners that I wanted to get 303 00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:12,520 Speaker 1: to quickly in the middle of this because they related 304 00:14:12,559 --> 00:14:18,040 Speaker 1: to getting older. Was what I posted yesterday on my Instagram, 305 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:20,720 Speaker 1: and I just said, like, to the twenties and thirties 306 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:24,920 Speaker 1: people like the way that we try to contort ourselves 307 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,920 Speaker 1: and just you know, make ourselves fit into a certain 308 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:31,640 Speaker 1: sized box. I do understand it, like stressing and striving 309 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:34,280 Speaker 1: and trying to contort to fit in that box, but 310 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:37,360 Speaker 1: like just take a deep breath and just know that 311 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:41,200 Speaker 1: the things that feel so important to us, like the 312 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:43,640 Speaker 1: things that feel so important, they're just the lessons. Like 313 00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:46,000 Speaker 1: that is how I feel like I got to know 314 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:49,520 Speaker 1: myself was through all the hardships and knowing what you 315 00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,480 Speaker 1: like and what you want and what you don't like 316 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:55,240 Speaker 1: and what you don't want. That all comes from living 317 00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:58,080 Speaker 1: life and those experiences, even the painful ones actually probably 318 00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:01,560 Speaker 1: mostly the painful ones. So it just opens you up 319 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:03,640 Speaker 1: to being like who you're supposed to be and who 320 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:06,480 Speaker 1: you're meant to be and who you actually are, and 321 00:15:06,520 --> 00:15:09,720 Speaker 1: it doesn't have to look like anyone else's. That's the 322 00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,720 Speaker 1: biggest thing is I do not think that whatever this 323 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:15,720 Speaker 1: thing that we did in this world of like, well, 324 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:17,360 Speaker 1: by this age you have to be married, and by 325 00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,360 Speaker 1: this age you have to have kids, and everybody has 326 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:22,040 Speaker 1: to get married and everybody has to have kids, everyone 327 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:23,800 Speaker 1: has to have a certain kind of a relationship Like 328 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:28,040 Speaker 1: that just doesn't exist, like we literally created that, I think, 329 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,960 Speaker 1: And so trying to let go of those mentalities and 330 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:35,080 Speaker 1: knowing that whatever your life is supposed to be, it's 331 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:38,520 Speaker 1: going to be anyway, so like stop stressing it. Keep 332 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:40,680 Speaker 1: showing up, try to be gentle and kind with yourself 333 00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:43,400 Speaker 1: through the process. And I don't know it, just to 334 00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:45,280 Speaker 1: me that was like total freedom. So I wrote that, 335 00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:52,120 Speaker 1: and then I got a couple questions back that I 336 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:56,840 Speaker 1: thought would be good podcast topics. This one comes from Janine. 337 00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:59,440 Speaker 1: She said, I would love to know more if you 338 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:03,840 Speaker 1: compare your introspection now to what you felt at thirty seven. 339 00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:06,800 Speaker 1: My birthday is in August, so I'm quaking as I 340 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:09,720 Speaker 1: inch toward another year into my uncertain future. Life is 341 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,360 Speaker 1: overwhelming right now, between losing my brother in law, coming 342 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:15,160 Speaker 1: up to a two year anniversary with my boyfriend, my 343 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:18,960 Speaker 1: sister grieving and lashing out on me, losing a family pet, uncertainty, 344 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:22,720 Speaker 1: yet exciting challenges moving forward in my career. My heart 345 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:26,160 Speaker 1: is just fluttering at an overwhelming rate. I wrote back, 346 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,360 Speaker 1: and I said, I understand that's a lot, especially all 347 00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:31,120 Speaker 1: at once. Is your question, how I compare what I 348 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,680 Speaker 1: learned and felt at thirty seven to what I know now? 349 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:37,600 Speaker 1: And she said, yes, were you unnecessarily hard on yourself 350 00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:40,720 Speaker 1: at thirty seven? Are you still now or are you 351 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:43,680 Speaker 1: more forgiving of yourself now? This is what this is 352 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:45,960 Speaker 1: coming from context that I've always been hard on myself 353 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,240 Speaker 1: growing up. Do you relate at all to that chip 354 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:49,800 Speaker 1: or do Yeah? 355 00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:52,480 Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, I think so, But I also think too, 356 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:58,600 Speaker 2: Like it's really interesting the struggle she's almost and I'm 357 00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:01,080 Speaker 2: sure we're all guilty of this because we live and 358 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:04,480 Speaker 2: we live, we live in the now, but we while 359 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:06,480 Speaker 2: we're in the now, we're thinking about the future and 360 00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:11,000 Speaker 2: the past. So it's like, what she's feeling now is 361 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:15,280 Speaker 2: based on the you know, the things that have happened 362 00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:18,200 Speaker 2: to her in the recent past, and she's worried about 363 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:20,840 Speaker 2: what the future holds, which you don't really know, you know, 364 00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:25,439 Speaker 2: you like and change, it will never change, yeah, and 365 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:28,080 Speaker 2: it might have zero to do with what just happened, 366 00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:31,000 Speaker 2: you know. So it's like, I know it sounds so 367 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,240 Speaker 2: much easier said than done, but sometimes you have to 368 00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:35,960 Speaker 2: let the past be the past. And I know, like, 369 00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:38,639 Speaker 2: and I don't mean to sound insensitive, like obviously, like 370 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,760 Speaker 2: there's a lot of grief that's going on with her 371 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:43,280 Speaker 2: sister and their family, for losing a pet and losing 372 00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:47,080 Speaker 2: a loved one and all of the things, but you 373 00:17:47,119 --> 00:17:49,280 Speaker 2: should try really hard to not let those things to 374 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 2: find what your future is. And like, walk through it, 375 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:56,080 Speaker 2: like feel those feelings. Know that you're not going to 376 00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:58,399 Speaker 2: be grieving forever. Know that you're going to find some 377 00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:01,119 Speaker 2: joy in something that will and as time goes on, 378 00:18:01,640 --> 00:18:03,840 Speaker 2: that grief will diminish. It doesn't mean that you will 379 00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,720 Speaker 2: ever forget that pet, It doesn't mean you will ever 380 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:09,360 Speaker 2: forget your brother in law. But it will not define 381 00:18:09,359 --> 00:18:12,720 Speaker 2: your future unless you allow it to. You know, so 382 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:14,800 Speaker 2: so well put yeah, so I think you have to 383 00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:18,920 Speaker 2: you know, it's again not to be insensitive, but you 384 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:22,520 Speaker 2: have to like feel it, say this is what I 385 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:25,159 Speaker 2: learned from it, and then move on from it. Yeah, 386 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:27,800 Speaker 2: and then it's you know, you will find joy in 387 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,280 Speaker 2: the future and you just have to trust that. 388 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:30,159 Speaker 3: Yeah. 389 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:35,160 Speaker 1: I feel like the age is thirty seven to forty 390 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:38,320 Speaker 1: or I actually would put this thirty five to forty 391 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:43,800 Speaker 1: specifically for women are extremely hard and this may not 392 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,480 Speaker 1: go for everyone, but this was my personal experience. 393 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:48,760 Speaker 3: But like the thing that happens to us. 394 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:50,600 Speaker 1: We turn thirty five and we go in for our 395 00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:56,280 Speaker 1: guynecologist exam, like our annual you know, and they immediately 396 00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:59,000 Speaker 1: the first question is have you thought about kids? 397 00:18:59,119 --> 00:19:00,000 Speaker 3: What's your take on that? 398 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:02,679 Speaker 1: You know, blah blah blah, blah blah if you're in 399 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:06,159 Speaker 1: a relationship. My guy no specifically, was like putting pressure 400 00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:09,320 Speaker 1: on me to have that conversation with my person, which 401 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:12,879 Speaker 1: I was not happy to do, right, And then I 402 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:14,840 Speaker 1: had a conversation the other night where another friend of 403 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,240 Speaker 1: mine said that her doctor said, well, the next time 404 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:18,879 Speaker 1: I see you, I want you to have a plan, 405 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,960 Speaker 1: because what happens is they start telling you that after 406 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:27,040 Speaker 1: thirty five, like your pregnancy is considered a geriatric pregnancy. 407 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:30,840 Speaker 1: So all of that to say that, you know, this 408 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,600 Speaker 1: is where I think women and men have a little 409 00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:36,320 Speaker 1: bit of a different journey in life, and both have 410 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:39,199 Speaker 1: different struggles. But one of them for women, for me 411 00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:41,720 Speaker 1: at least, was between thirty five and forty, and that's 412 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:44,280 Speaker 1: like if you don't have kids yet, maybe, But this 413 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,399 Speaker 1: could also be for anyone because I think, you know, 414 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:49,720 Speaker 1: forty used to be the referred to as over the hill, 415 00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:51,280 Speaker 1: and so a lot of people would start having like 416 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:55,480 Speaker 1: midlife crisis crises at this point, and so I think 417 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:57,399 Speaker 1: it must be all tied to the same thing. But 418 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,800 Speaker 1: I I guess that was my point in saying, like, 419 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:04,719 Speaker 1: all of those pressures I do think are real, and 420 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:06,680 Speaker 1: I do think we have to grow up a little 421 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,520 Speaker 1: bit and start thinking about that, and if your journey 422 00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:12,679 Speaker 1: doesn't necessarily match that, it can be very stressful. And 423 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:14,399 Speaker 1: so you start to do the thing where you're like, 424 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:18,240 Speaker 1: I gotta figure this out. And all I can say, 425 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:20,600 Speaker 1: and I'll only speak from my experience, but the more 426 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:23,840 Speaker 1: I tried to figure life out and like make sure 427 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:27,160 Speaker 1: it was working a certain way, the more life fell apart. 428 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:30,320 Speaker 1: And like my intentions weren't ever bad, they were just 429 00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:33,199 Speaker 1: to kind of like I thought that that was what 430 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,919 Speaker 1: being an adult meant, like taking the right steps. And 431 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:40,199 Speaker 1: part of it is like do your due diligence about it. 432 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:44,679 Speaker 1: Everything in your life, like your health, your fertility, your finances, 433 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:48,080 Speaker 1: your job, whatever that is for you, do it, do 434 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:50,360 Speaker 1: the due diligence that is part of being an adult. 435 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:53,919 Speaker 1: But also like allow yourself the space to be human 436 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,879 Speaker 1: and know that, like that's what I was saying about 437 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:59,080 Speaker 1: life isn't gonna look like everyone else's and so like 438 00:20:59,119 --> 00:21:01,359 Speaker 1: you can't really try to fit your life into this 439 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:04,320 Speaker 1: little tiny box and think that that's going to bring 440 00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:07,840 Speaker 1: you peace. Like the biggest piece that I've actually found 441 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,480 Speaker 1: is probably from all of that falling apart and having 442 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:14,480 Speaker 1: to get quiet with myself and actually go like who 443 00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:17,879 Speaker 1: am I? Without all that shit, like right about the 444 00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:22,280 Speaker 1: big job, without being on TV, without like the relationship 445 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:24,520 Speaker 1: or the kids or the whatever, Like who am I? 446 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:27,240 Speaker 1: And that's where the piece comes from. And then the 447 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,280 Speaker 1: rest of it is just like a part of the journey. 448 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:31,879 Speaker 1: It's like you kind of start to realize that life 449 00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,600 Speaker 1: is just full of things coming in and going over 450 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:39,080 Speaker 1: and over and over. Relationships, jobs, like money, whatever. It is, 451 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:41,800 Speaker 1: like it's all coming in and going out as it 452 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:44,600 Speaker 1: serves you and your growth. Like the only reason we're 453 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:47,960 Speaker 1: all here, I think is for our own evolution and 454 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:51,480 Speaker 1: our growth as humans inside. And so anyway, I would 455 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,560 Speaker 1: just say, like, first of all, I think you hit 456 00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:55,800 Speaker 1: on such a good point, like let yourself feel all 457 00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:57,399 Speaker 1: the feelings, because it sounds like there's a lot of 458 00:21:57,440 --> 00:22:00,439 Speaker 1: grief that's happening right now, and so walk through that 459 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,720 Speaker 1: with yourself, be gentle and kind learn about. 460 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:04,800 Speaker 3: Yourself through that process. 461 00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:08,600 Speaker 1: Also, like have grace with yourself, have grace with your sister, 462 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:10,520 Speaker 1: have grace with the people around you, because it does 463 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:13,359 Speaker 1: just sound like a lot, but know that, like the 464 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:15,359 Speaker 1: things on the outside are not the things that are 465 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:18,240 Speaker 1: gonna ultimately give you peace or the freedom that I 466 00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:23,880 Speaker 1: was talking about. It's more about developing a relationship with yourself, 467 00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:29,040 Speaker 1: forgiving yourself, not being unnecessarily hard on yourself because the 468 00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:32,200 Speaker 1: things on paper don't look exactly like you thought they should, 469 00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:34,280 Speaker 1: because none of that shit really manags. It just really 470 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:38,080 Speaker 1: can't take it with you. Like you hear that a 471 00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:40,320 Speaker 1: million times. But the older you get, you start to 472 00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:42,760 Speaker 1: be like, oh, yeah, I mean you can't. 473 00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:43,760 Speaker 3: So you can. 474 00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:46,119 Speaker 1: I know we all want to leave our mark on 475 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:48,560 Speaker 1: this world, but I think that that can come in 476 00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:51,960 Speaker 1: many different forms too. So anyway, that's what I got 477 00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:55,879 Speaker 1: on that one. But definitely like finding the grace to 478 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,680 Speaker 1: be gentle and kind with yourself. Like someone asked me yesterday, 479 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,880 Speaker 1: what's the biggest thing you learned last year? And literally 480 00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:05,440 Speaker 1: I said, the daily practice of being nice to myself, 481 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:08,560 Speaker 1: not like beating myself up because I'm my own worst 482 00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:10,960 Speaker 1: critic all the time too. 483 00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:13,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think a lot of us are. I think 484 00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:14,359 Speaker 3: probably most of us are. 485 00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:16,480 Speaker 2: I think So, I mean we have this enter demon 486 00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:19,080 Speaker 2: on our shoulder that yeah, talks to us. 487 00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:23,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, So just being nice to yourself, being gentle, being kind. 488 00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:26,160 Speaker 1: Starting the morning with a meditation a lot of times 489 00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:28,560 Speaker 1: about that to like kind of set that energy, and 490 00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:31,040 Speaker 1: then it's amazing how like what flows out of you 491 00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:33,440 Speaker 1: if you're being nice to yourself and also what comes in. 492 00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:39,000 Speaker 1: So that's what I got. This one comes from Megan, 493 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:41,840 Speaker 1: and she said, we've talked to Megan before. She had 494 00:23:41,840 --> 00:23:45,439 Speaker 1: some relationship questions. So she said, thank you first of 495 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:47,280 Speaker 1: all to both of us for answering, and she said, 496 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:50,840 Speaker 1: would you mind sharing This is also related to a 497 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:53,400 Speaker 1: timeline thing, but she said, would you mind sharing about 498 00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:56,960 Speaker 1: how you became fearless about relationships and losing people as 499 00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:02,160 Speaker 1: you've gotten older. That was really insightful. Do you want 500 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:03,399 Speaker 1: me to go or do you want to go? 501 00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:04,439 Speaker 2: I mean you can start. 502 00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:12,119 Speaker 1: I mean I don't think it's ever easy, and especially 503 00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:15,880 Speaker 1: if you have some history of like abandonment stuff, which 504 00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:20,600 Speaker 1: a lot of us do. I think that clinging to 505 00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:23,439 Speaker 1: relationships is like a very easy thing to do, especially 506 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:26,520 Speaker 1: the way our society paints relationships. But it's sort of 507 00:24:26,560 --> 00:24:29,960 Speaker 1: like what I just said in our last question about 508 00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:33,600 Speaker 1: people coming in and then them going out. And I'm 509 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:37,199 Speaker 1: starting to really kind of understand that as I've been 510 00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:40,880 Speaker 1: dating and meeting people, is like what are they here 511 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,680 Speaker 1: to bring me or show me about myself and bring 512 00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:47,000 Speaker 1: to my life and just know, like holding that loosely, 513 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:50,200 Speaker 1: like in this moment, that is what they are here for. 514 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:54,480 Speaker 1: And if that changes and they go away, that's okay. 515 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:56,679 Speaker 1: It's still served a purpose in my life and not 516 00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,800 Speaker 1: we've just done ourselves so wrong, I think by being 517 00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:02,960 Speaker 1: like we have to find the person for the rest 518 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,720 Speaker 1: of our lives. Like I just don't believe in that anymore. 519 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:07,880 Speaker 1: As much as I love that idea that you could 520 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:10,480 Speaker 1: be happy like that, and maybe a lot of people are. 521 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,720 Speaker 1: But if you don't find that, I don't or that's 522 00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:16,040 Speaker 1: not your journey in this lifetime. I don't think that 523 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:18,120 Speaker 1: means you're a failure. I think it's like the more 524 00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:21,880 Speaker 1: we can hold people and relationships loosely, probably the more 525 00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:24,440 Speaker 1: we can get from them, because it's ultimately all about 526 00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:28,560 Speaker 1: our relationship with ourself. So and that is like so 527 00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:31,159 Speaker 1: words sound so good of that, and that is so hard, 528 00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,120 Speaker 1: Like I have to think about that every day. It's 529 00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:35,000 Speaker 1: not just like I'm like, oh, I'm just you know, 530 00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,840 Speaker 1: only hear about myself. Of course, you get attached to 531 00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:41,760 Speaker 1: people and there's pain and loss at any time. So again, 532 00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:44,919 Speaker 1: it's about walking through that pain, I think. But I 533 00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:47,280 Speaker 1: think the looser you can hold people, it allows them 534 00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:49,359 Speaker 1: to go on their journey while you're going on yours. 535 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:52,199 Speaker 1: And if you can do that together, that's awesome. But 536 00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:54,520 Speaker 1: also just kind of trying to really wrap your mind 537 00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:56,920 Speaker 1: around the fact that, like if someone came in and 538 00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:59,120 Speaker 1: then they left, it doesn't mean it was a failure. 539 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:01,119 Speaker 3: What did you learn? 540 00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:04,800 Speaker 1: How did they serve your life for that moment, even 541 00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:07,000 Speaker 1: if it was like you learned of something you didn't like, 542 00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:09,800 Speaker 1: it served your life, you know, So kind of putting 543 00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:13,520 Speaker 1: filing relationships away into a different place. That's where I've 544 00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:18,040 Speaker 1: become more fear less. I wouldn't say, actually, I said 545 00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:20,359 Speaker 1: to her, I wouldn't say fear less. It's just learning that, 546 00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:24,000 Speaker 1: like you said earlier in the podcast, we can get 547 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,600 Speaker 1: through pain like we're resilient and we can bounce back 548 00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:28,720 Speaker 1: and like it's not going to kill us, which I 549 00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:29,240 Speaker 1: actually think. 550 00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:30,080 Speaker 3: I genuinely my. 551 00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:34,160 Speaker 1: Body used to feel totally this loss. I'm going to die, 552 00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:36,800 Speaker 1: That's what it felt like. And I've said that before 553 00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:39,600 Speaker 1: on this podcast, which feels dramatic to say, but it's 554 00:26:39,600 --> 00:26:41,760 Speaker 1: not how my nervous system felt like that felt so 555 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:46,080 Speaker 1: real to me, but it wasn't. And I survived, and 556 00:26:46,119 --> 00:26:49,359 Speaker 1: you can survive and everyone can survive. Like it's just 557 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:53,120 Speaker 1: it's part of the lesson. So trying to reframe what 558 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,240 Speaker 1: relationships mean in your life, I think was like the 559 00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:59,080 Speaker 1: way for me to really detach from that, and then 560 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:02,080 Speaker 1: just knowing that if you're fear, you have fear, that's 561 00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:04,080 Speaker 1: okay too, but you can still walk forward even with 562 00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:04,520 Speaker 1: the fear. 563 00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:05,919 Speaker 3: I think that's what true courage is. 564 00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:09,919 Speaker 2: Any Yeah, I think that trying to live without fear 565 00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:14,760 Speaker 2: is nearly impossible. Fear often comes from a place of 566 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:19,360 Speaker 2: like caring. That's why it exists. It also is exactly 567 00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:22,800 Speaker 2: what excitement feels like. It's just the other side of it. Yeah, 568 00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:26,760 Speaker 2: but it's you know, for for me, I've had I've 569 00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:29,560 Speaker 2: struggled more with like the fear of rejection. So it's 570 00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:34,359 Speaker 2: like the starting of relationships that's scarier for me. And 571 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:38,119 Speaker 2: I think, you know, obviously, nobody wants a relationship that 572 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:40,480 Speaker 2: they care about to end, but they do and you 573 00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:44,000 Speaker 2: survive them, as you know, it takes time and a 574 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:47,359 Speaker 2: lot of grief and whatever. But I you know, in 575 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:50,399 Speaker 2: terms of all relationships, whether they're romantic or friendship. Like 576 00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:55,480 Speaker 2: I often think about people who like I loved in college, 577 00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:57,960 Speaker 2: like every time I saw them, like it was like, 578 00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:00,919 Speaker 2: oh my god, and like we hang out a lot, 579 00:28:01,200 --> 00:28:04,160 Speaker 2: but they were never one of my closest friends. And 580 00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:07,760 Speaker 2: I'll think of them randomly and I can't find them 581 00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:11,119 Speaker 2: on Facebook and I'll miss them. But like, that's a 582 00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:14,920 Speaker 2: great example of someone that you really like coming into 583 00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:18,439 Speaker 2: your life and then they're gone, and it's without reason 584 00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:21,240 Speaker 2: other than time passes and you live in different cities 585 00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:23,639 Speaker 2: and life goes on. And so I think if we 586 00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:27,960 Speaker 2: can think of instances like that in our life, it's 587 00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:33,480 Speaker 2: proof that you know, there's really nothing to fear with 588 00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:37,640 Speaker 2: moving on with relationships because they did. It's like, think 589 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:40,080 Speaker 2: about the joy that the relationships brought you and how 590 00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:42,320 Speaker 2: they bade you a better person and pushed you forward 591 00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,240 Speaker 2: in your life, and then I think it's a lot 592 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:48,760 Speaker 2: easier to appreciate that. Like sometimes they end. Sometimes people 593 00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:50,720 Speaker 2: that you didn't like will come back into your life 594 00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:52,240 Speaker 2: and you'll be like, I don't know, I thought this 595 00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:55,920 Speaker 2: about them, Like they're fucking great, So I don't know. 596 00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:58,360 Speaker 2: I think it's just like we have to take the present, 597 00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:03,600 Speaker 2: you know, as serious as possible, because nothing else is guaranteed, right, 598 00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:09,320 Speaker 2: you know, and you know, being worried about today looking 599 00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:12,320 Speaker 2: different than tomorrow makes you miss today. 600 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:13,440 Speaker 3: You know, totally. 601 00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:17,680 Speaker 2: And for me, that's the only way to sort of 602 00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:21,560 Speaker 2: suppress the fear. It doesn't go away, No, it will 603 00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:24,720 Speaker 2: never go away completely, but that's sort of how I love. 604 00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:32,080 Speaker 1: That's one of the things, honestly, I love about birthdays. 605 00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:34,320 Speaker 1: I was talking to someone who doesn't really like to 606 00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:36,520 Speaker 1: celebrate birthdays, and he was like, why do you like 607 00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:39,520 Speaker 1: this so much? One of them is reconnecting with people 608 00:29:39,560 --> 00:29:41,959 Speaker 1: I don't talk to you, Like I'll get random texts 609 00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:44,000 Speaker 1: from people I haven't talked to, or that I talk 610 00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:46,560 Speaker 1: to you basically every year on my birthday, like it's 611 00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:49,080 Speaker 1: or their birthday, you know, like that's the only time 612 00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:51,959 Speaker 1: we talk friends from college or I mean friends from 613 00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:55,760 Speaker 1: childhood for me, But yeah, I love that, or you know, 614 00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:58,440 Speaker 1: you just hear from like random people that maybe aren't 615 00:29:58,440 --> 00:29:59,960 Speaker 1: a part of your daily life, but it's a love 616 00:30:00,280 --> 00:30:01,280 Speaker 1: time to celebrate. 617 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:02,960 Speaker 3: I also feel like it's the. 618 00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:06,600 Speaker 1: One day I'm not very good at receiving fully without 619 00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:10,320 Speaker 1: feeling guilty, Like just take like taking it in, soaking 620 00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:12,760 Speaker 1: it in, or like letting people just give to me 621 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:16,480 Speaker 1: without reciprocating. And it's the one day I will like 622 00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:19,040 Speaker 1: not feel guilty about it because it's like no one 623 00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:23,400 Speaker 1: else in my life's birthday, it's mine, right, So you know, 624 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:26,400 Speaker 1: like inviting you guys all to come to dinner or whatever, 625 00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:29,800 Speaker 1: Like I don't know, it's a little bit like, but 626 00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:32,320 Speaker 1: I don't care if people can't come, but it's the 627 00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:34,200 Speaker 1: one time that I'm like, yes, I do want all 628 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:35,800 Speaker 1: my people to be in one place. 629 00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:37,840 Speaker 3: Like it's just such a I love it. 630 00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,040 Speaker 1: Being around the people that I love and right, I 631 00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:41,719 Speaker 1: don't know, it's it's a good feeling. 632 00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:44,520 Speaker 2: So I love going on face, I love going on 633 00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:49,560 Speaker 2: Facebook and just wishing people haven't those are generally the 634 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:51,640 Speaker 2: ones that I will wish happy birthday on Facebook or 635 00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:53,200 Speaker 2: the people I haven't spoken to and forever. 636 00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:57,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, and like also, there's not many other days of 637 00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:01,240 Speaker 1: the year that people emote how they feel about you 638 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:04,560 Speaker 1: as clearly. Do you notice that, Like I got so 639 00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:08,320 Speaker 1: many you sent me the nicest text like you got 640 00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:11,160 Speaker 1: I just got so many texts of people saying what 641 00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:14,080 Speaker 1: I meant to them, and I mean it talk about 642 00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:18,080 Speaker 1: fill your tank right floating on cloud nine, you know, 643 00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:20,920 Speaker 1: or just I don't know, getting flowers. It was just 644 00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:24,880 Speaker 1: a lovely, lovely day, so lovely day. Anyway, Your forties 645 00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:28,240 Speaker 1: are fucking fabulous, like they say, everybody, don't get scared 646 00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:29,880 Speaker 1: of them anymore. Like I really want to change the 647 00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:32,800 Speaker 1: narrative about forties because so far they've been awesome for me, so. 648 00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:34,640 Speaker 2: Good. 649 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:36,640 Speaker 3: Yeah. 650 00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:40,840 Speaker 1: Anyway, this is not the first week of the month, 651 00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:43,200 Speaker 1: but it's the first week of the month that we're recording, 652 00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:46,800 Speaker 1: and so we always take the time on this first 653 00:31:46,800 --> 00:31:48,760 Speaker 1: podcast to kind of give you guys the word and 654 00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:50,000 Speaker 1: kind of set up what we're going to be. 655 00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:53,120 Speaker 3: Talking about this month. And all of the guests that 656 00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:53,440 Speaker 3: I have. 657 00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:55,760 Speaker 1: Lined up to talk to you had one thing in common, 658 00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:59,520 Speaker 1: and those topics that they had in common revolved around 659 00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:03,280 Speaker 1: intoition and just kind of ways to tap into your intuition, 660 00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:06,400 Speaker 1: ways to know yourself, to trust your gut, to even 661 00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:08,520 Speaker 1: heal your own trauma with your intuition. And so I 662 00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:11,800 Speaker 1: was talking to you about that and you said, the 663 00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:14,680 Speaker 1: word that keeps coming to my mind is guts. 664 00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:15,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, tell me why. 665 00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:23,600 Speaker 2: You thought that, well, because you know it's you have 666 00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:25,680 Speaker 2: to trust your gut, And I think that's really what 667 00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:30,880 Speaker 2: sort of intuition is. Yes, it's you know, it's not 668 00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:36,520 Speaker 2: because you're smarter than anybody, or you know, you've you've 669 00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:40,520 Speaker 2: had more experiences. It's just kind of like where your 670 00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:45,520 Speaker 2: body sits in something. And I know personally that when 671 00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:50,040 Speaker 2: I haven't listened to my gut, I often wish I had, 672 00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:52,400 Speaker 2: you know, like I'm always like I knew I was wrong, 673 00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:58,520 Speaker 2: I knew what was going to happen. And but I 674 00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:02,520 Speaker 2: also think it's important to sometimes when your gut tells 675 00:33:02,520 --> 00:33:04,520 Speaker 2: you that you're scared to do something, to have the 676 00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:09,520 Speaker 2: fucking guts to do it anyway, because even if you're wrong, 677 00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:12,280 Speaker 2: if it's something that you really want to do and 678 00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:14,320 Speaker 2: your mind is telling you one thing, but your gut 679 00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:17,360 Speaker 2: is telling you another, Like sometimes you do have to 680 00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:19,680 Speaker 2: take the risk and fall so you can get back 681 00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:21,520 Speaker 2: up and you'll learn a lesson or it might work 682 00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:24,040 Speaker 2: in your favor. You never know. So I just think 683 00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:28,960 Speaker 2: like there's just a lot of ways that we can 684 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,480 Speaker 2: think about this word that, Like, if you just look 685 00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:33,600 Speaker 2: at it on a piece of paper, guts, it kind 686 00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:35,560 Speaker 2: of sounds gross. It sounds like a smush bug. 687 00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:37,280 Speaker 3: You know what were that show? 688 00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,000 Speaker 1: Like, there was a show on Nickelodeon or Disney back 689 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,280 Speaker 1: in the day, and I swear it was called Guts 690 00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:45,040 Speaker 1: and it was like a competition show. 691 00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:46,760 Speaker 3: I don't know, I'll have to like go back. 692 00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:49,040 Speaker 1: There's like some familiarity to it, and I feel like 693 00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:52,400 Speaker 1: there was slime involved. So what you're saying is accurate, 694 00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:55,320 Speaker 1: Like it just is kind of this gross word, but 695 00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:58,800 Speaker 1: the reality is also you're right, like trusting your gut 696 00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:02,680 Speaker 1: is one of the biggest gifts of getting older, kind 697 00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:05,320 Speaker 1: of like what you're saying, and it's it's not because 698 00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:09,040 Speaker 1: you just all of a sudden magically get this tool. 699 00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:11,600 Speaker 1: We all have it inside of us at all times. 700 00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:14,680 Speaker 1: But I think as we age, you know, like when 701 00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:17,880 Speaker 1: you're younger, you're just learning about yourself and you're learning 702 00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:20,680 Speaker 1: what that inner knowing is and what that sounds like. 703 00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:23,719 Speaker 1: You're learning about when your mind kicks in and tries 704 00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,239 Speaker 1: to talk your gut out of it. And so it's 705 00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:29,880 Speaker 1: like getting back to that and kind of trusting that 706 00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:33,040 Speaker 1: inner knowing and not even having to have the answer. 707 00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:34,920 Speaker 1: Like I keep saying on the podcast a lot of 708 00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:39,759 Speaker 1: times now, I won't always understand why I feel the 709 00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:43,160 Speaker 1: way I feel about something, but I don't ask questions anymore. 710 00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:46,200 Speaker 1: I just follow it, and that that's part of the age, 711 00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:48,800 Speaker 1: the gift of aging that I've experienced, at least is 712 00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:52,360 Speaker 1: not needing to make sense of everything right in the moment, 713 00:34:52,520 --> 00:34:55,520 Speaker 1: like usually it comes later and I'll understand later, but 714 00:34:55,760 --> 00:35:00,200 Speaker 1: just going with the feeling, trusting that and leaning in 715 00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:03,680 Speaker 1: or walking away or whatever it is, because my body 716 00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:06,080 Speaker 1: is talking to me. And so I have a lot 717 00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:07,959 Speaker 1: of people I'm gona interview about how to get better 718 00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:10,480 Speaker 1: at that and to learn about yourself. And then Chip 719 00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:11,680 Speaker 1: and I are going to take things on a whole 720 00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:15,919 Speaker 1: different round. And we've obviously told you guys were trying 721 00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:17,640 Speaker 1: to keep it a little more light and fun on 722 00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:20,720 Speaker 1: the edge because god life gish gets too fucking serious, 723 00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:25,320 Speaker 1: sometimes too heavy for all of us. And so we 724 00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:27,120 Speaker 1: have a really fun topic and way that we're going 725 00:35:27,200 --> 00:35:30,600 Speaker 1: to explore guts next week in the pod. I had 726 00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:33,319 Speaker 1: some funny things come up. I've been recently seeing someone new, 727 00:35:34,680 --> 00:35:36,520 Speaker 1: which I'm going to keep vague for now, you know, 728 00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:41,439 Speaker 1: like I just can't be on display as much anymore, fair, 729 00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:43,520 Speaker 1: but it is bringing a lot of joy in my life, 730 00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:46,239 Speaker 1: and he and I have been having some funny conversations 731 00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:49,799 Speaker 1: that involve guts. So yes, you guys will hear about 732 00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:51,960 Speaker 1: that next week. Chip has a funny story to add 733 00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:56,040 Speaker 1: into that as well. That one I think you've actually 734 00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:59,480 Speaker 1: may be told on the podcast, but it deserves to 735 00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:01,160 Speaker 1: be told million times in my opinion. 736 00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:04,120 Speaker 2: Well, and I can also extrapolate upon it because there's 737 00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:08,320 Speaker 2: excuse me, big words. I'll text it to you so 738 00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:09,000 Speaker 2: you can look it up. 739 00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:10,560 Speaker 3: You're good. 740 00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:15,640 Speaker 2: I can expand upon that story too. Uh yeah, we'll 741 00:36:15,640 --> 00:36:16,640 Speaker 2: wait until next week though. 742 00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:20,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, dun't un dum. I did talk to Marv this 743 00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:22,479 Speaker 1: week on the podcast, and there's a lot of energy 744 00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:26,080 Speaker 1: going on. There's a cancer new moon happening next week, 745 00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:29,680 Speaker 1: and there's also the venus retrograde, which brings up a lot. 746 00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:32,359 Speaker 1: But one of the questions he asked that obviously ties 747 00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:34,960 Speaker 1: into this topic as well, is he said life is 748 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:38,759 Speaker 1: about feedback of our internal selves, so our gut by 749 00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:41,440 Speaker 1: the way, and he said, are you taking responsibility for 750 00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:44,719 Speaker 1: your intentions and your motivations. That's a good one to 751 00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:49,640 Speaker 1: think about. So anyway, our intention this month is to 752 00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:52,879 Speaker 1: help you get more in touch with yourself. Also laugh 753 00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:56,120 Speaker 1: a little bit also lean into aging. What else have 754 00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:56,839 Speaker 1: we covered today? 755 00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:02,680 Speaker 2: I mean, I think it's just loving yourself, trusting yourself, 756 00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:03,000 Speaker 2: all the. 757 00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:07,200 Speaker 1: Things, letting go of fear, walking forward to fear, all 758 00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:09,120 Speaker 1: the things we love to talk about here on the 759 00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:14,239 Speaker 1: Velvet Hedge Podcast. Did you have anything else from your 760 00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:16,439 Speaker 1: break that you needed to update us someone? I feel 761 00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:18,200 Speaker 1: like we covered a lot of mine, but. 762 00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:21,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I mean I had a really nice break. 763 00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:24,960 Speaker 2: I got to I've spent like a week with my 764 00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:29,360 Speaker 2: family back in Virginia, which was awesome. And some of 765 00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:34,320 Speaker 2: that was I had my nieces because my sister and 766 00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:36,759 Speaker 2: her husband were working, so I had them, so I 767 00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:37,960 Speaker 2: got to spend a lot of time with them. And 768 00:37:38,040 --> 00:37:39,920 Speaker 2: one of them six and like sort of coming into 769 00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:41,480 Speaker 2: her own right now, and the other one's about to 770 00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:47,200 Speaker 2: turn fifteen, yeah, thank fourteen or fifteen, and she's kind 771 00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:49,520 Speaker 2: of in that phase where she doesn't, you know, like 772 00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:51,680 Speaker 2: to talk to us much, and she watched a lot 773 00:37:51,719 --> 00:37:53,520 Speaker 2: of TV and it's on her phone a lot. But 774 00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:58,080 Speaker 2: you know, it was also she's sort of becoming an 775 00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:00,560 Speaker 2: adult too, so it's like I I can talk to 776 00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:02,120 Speaker 2: her about different things, and I can talk to the 777 00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:04,439 Speaker 2: six year old about so it was like really nice 778 00:38:04,480 --> 00:38:06,520 Speaker 2: to like get a lot of time with them. And 779 00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:10,520 Speaker 2: then my boyfriend came and that my parents for the 780 00:38:10,560 --> 00:38:11,080 Speaker 2: first time. 781 00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:12,800 Speaker 3: Damns. 782 00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:16,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, that takes cuts. And you know, like something that 783 00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:19,239 Speaker 2: I was thinking about too, in terms of this conversation 784 00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:22,680 Speaker 2: and just that happening was like, you know, back when 785 00:38:22,960 --> 00:38:25,120 Speaker 2: I was young and knew that I was gay, like 786 00:38:25,200 --> 00:38:29,880 Speaker 2: the idea of like ever introducing a boyfriend to my 787 00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:33,480 Speaker 2: parents was like terrifying and seemed like something would never do, 788 00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:37,960 Speaker 2: you know, And at that time, like before coming out, 789 00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:40,120 Speaker 2: it's like, you know, I say this all the time, 790 00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:42,040 Speaker 2: like thank god I was gay because it made me 791 00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:45,480 Speaker 2: an overachiever. Like I did everything I could to like 792 00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:48,680 Speaker 2: keep my parents happy, which included like making great grades 793 00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:51,160 Speaker 2: and going to a great school and you know, being 794 00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:53,560 Speaker 2: really driven. And you know, I can't say that I 795 00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:55,759 Speaker 2: wouldn't have had those things if I were straight, but 796 00:38:55,920 --> 00:38:58,719 Speaker 2: I definitely can attribute like some of my drive to 797 00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:06,000 Speaker 2: being like overcompensation. But you know, now having introduced them 798 00:39:06,040 --> 00:39:09,360 Speaker 2: to more than one, but like this one, I just 799 00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:11,920 Speaker 2: knew that they were really gonna like him. And oh, 800 00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:14,279 Speaker 2: after I got back, my mom called and she was like, 801 00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:18,000 Speaker 2: we really like Mark. He's got great manners, he's very 802 00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:20,040 Speaker 2: easy to talk to, and you seem really happy, and 803 00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:22,920 Speaker 2: that's all a parent could wish for their kid. And 804 00:39:23,239 --> 00:39:26,719 Speaker 2: so it was like, in reflection, it was like, man, 805 00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:29,400 Speaker 2: if I if I'd had the guts to just be 806 00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:35,480 Speaker 2: me this whole time, it was never about me making 807 00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:38,800 Speaker 2: them happy. It was about me making myself happy. And 808 00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:41,880 Speaker 2: though it may have played out a little differently if 809 00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:43,760 Speaker 2: I'd done it, you know, when I was a teenager, 810 00:39:44,840 --> 00:39:46,360 Speaker 2: I still think we would have ended up in the 811 00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:49,640 Speaker 2: same spot. But you know, it makes me wonder, like 812 00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:53,399 Speaker 2: how much joy I missed out on by worrying more 813 00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:56,200 Speaker 2: about other people than myself in that situation. So I 814 00:39:56,280 --> 00:40:01,800 Speaker 2: think the lesson there is I'm you know, happiness and 815 00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:07,239 Speaker 2: love for yourself will bring you the unexpected and or 816 00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:11,279 Speaker 2: has the ability to bring you the unexpected. And you know, 817 00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:14,240 Speaker 2: obviously everyone's journey is different and everyone's family is different. 818 00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:16,719 Speaker 2: In life, you know, will throw you curveballs. And there's 819 00:40:16,719 --> 00:40:19,160 Speaker 2: certainly people that do have the guts to tell their 820 00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:20,759 Speaker 2: parents when they're younger and they get kicked out of 821 00:40:20,760 --> 00:40:24,680 Speaker 2: the house. But suffice to say, it's like, you know, 822 00:40:25,239 --> 00:40:27,560 Speaker 2: I would hope that if that does happen to anybody 823 00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:30,920 Speaker 2: that whatever's on the other side of that is the 824 00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:34,480 Speaker 2: joy that you need. And you know, just like people 825 00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:37,480 Speaker 2: being worried about relationships coming in out of your life, 826 00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:39,239 Speaker 2: like if you have parents that can't love you for 827 00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:41,640 Speaker 2: who you are, you might be better off without them, 828 00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:45,239 Speaker 2: you know so. And you know, I wouldn't wish that 829 00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:47,840 Speaker 2: upon anybody, you know, having a family that loves me 830 00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:52,200 Speaker 2: like I can't imagine. But again, like I guess just 831 00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:54,640 Speaker 2: my lesson was I wish i'd like had the guts 832 00:40:54,680 --> 00:40:58,920 Speaker 2: to do it sooner, But you know, I'm also happy 833 00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:01,000 Speaker 2: with where I am right now solely, and. 834 00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:03,640 Speaker 1: I mean, it all happens exactly as it should timing, lads, 835 00:41:03,719 --> 00:41:06,160 Speaker 1: and you wouldn't you wouldn't probably have had the reflection 836 00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:09,640 Speaker 1: that you just got at a different time, you know. Like, 837 00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:12,480 Speaker 1: I think that was so beautiful what you said though, 838 00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:16,960 Speaker 1: about realizing that so much of your parents' happiness actually 839 00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:19,840 Speaker 1: came from you making yourself happy, not worrying about what 840 00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:22,279 Speaker 1: they like making them happy and just looking at you 841 00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:22,680 Speaker 1: that way. 842 00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:24,040 Speaker 3: I just that's beautiful. 843 00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:24,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. 844 00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:26,719 Speaker 3: Wow. 845 00:41:27,239 --> 00:41:30,600 Speaker 1: Well, on that note, if you guys have any more 846 00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:33,520 Speaker 1: questions for us or thoughts about the topic of guts. 847 00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:36,120 Speaker 1: You can always email us at the Edge at velvetsedge 848 00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:38,040 Speaker 1: dot com. You can hit me up on Instagram. I'm 849 00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:39,920 Speaker 1: at Velvet's Edge, Chip. 850 00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:43,920 Speaker 2: I'm at Chip doorsh It's Chip d O R S 851 00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:44,520 Speaker 2: C CH. 852 00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:47,440 Speaker 1: And as you guys go into the weekend into your 853 00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:50,000 Speaker 1: life in general, I just hope that you keep living 854 00:41:50,080 --> 00:41:54,000 Speaker 1: on the edge and always remember too ad casual. 855 00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:55,719 Speaker 2: Bye bye