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Speaker 1: Conversations on life, style, beauty, and relationships. It's The Velvet's

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Speaker 1: Edge Podcast with Kelly Henderson. Okay, cheers, cheers. We actually

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Speaker 1: did it. We finally did it. I feel like you

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Speaker 1: to do this podcast for a month. Yes, but today

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Speaker 1: was the day. Today was the magic day. I felt

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Speaker 1: it too. What are you drinking? What's your drink of toys?

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Speaker 1: I'm actually just drinking Truly, Oh fancy. I was put

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Speaker 1: some tequila in it, but I can't open the damn

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Speaker 1: model like frozen. Um, you know, I don't know if

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Speaker 1: you've had the the tea, the Truly tea. They literally

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Speaker 1: tastes like Snapple. Oh my gosh, yes, I sta love Snapple.

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Speaker 1: Kind of tastes like apple juice to me, which I

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Speaker 1: love too. Yeah. The the lemonade ones, I find that

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Speaker 1: they're too like tangy, you know. Yeah. Yeah, so you're

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Speaker 1: a Truly girl, not a white claw girl. I'm a

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Speaker 1: liquor girl. Whatever's around. Feel like they do taste similar,

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Speaker 1: but I do like the Truly. Yeah. I did not

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Speaker 1: know that I would like those drinks, and I actually do.

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Speaker 1: I was kind of surprised by it. Yeah, I love them,

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Speaker 1: no shame. Yeah, well I'm so happy to have you here.

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Speaker 1: You and I were talking a couple I don't know when.

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Speaker 1: This was a couple of months ago. We we met

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Speaker 1: some friends and had a couple of drinks together and

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Speaker 1: I was talking to you, and I'm thinking to myself,

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Speaker 1: why have I never asked her to do a podcast?

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Speaker 1: Like everything about you is so you know, velvet and edge.

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Speaker 1: That's what we try to get on this podcast as

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Speaker 1: people who have a soft side, but they're also they

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Speaker 1: have a badass angle, which is completely you. And so

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Speaker 1: I want to just you know, I want to tell

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Speaker 1: people about your story. I find it so fascinating. I

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Speaker 1: know it's been not an easy journey for you, and

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Speaker 1: so that's the part that to me is really interesting

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Speaker 1: about you is that you've overcome so much to get

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Speaker 1: to where you are, and um, I love that. I

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Speaker 1: love the triumph over the trauma. So if we can

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Speaker 1: go back, I want to talk about how you got

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Speaker 1: started and just completely what your journey looked like. So

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Speaker 1: when did you start singing? I've always sang, but I

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Speaker 1: started performing when I was like three. It was one

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Speaker 1: of those things, Yeah, it was one of those things where, um,

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Speaker 1: you know, I started in church and my parents, you know,

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Speaker 1: in close friends of the family would would notice that

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Speaker 1: I was, you know, singing on key or whatever, and

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Speaker 1: we always had music playing, but nobody's singing my family.

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Speaker 1: So I still I just started singing in church and

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Speaker 1: then that kind of led to any local event or

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Speaker 1: any any place that I could sing, whether it was

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Speaker 1: a festival or a rodeo. Did a lot of anthems. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: my god, Um, I would do it. And it wasn't

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Speaker 1: It wasn't one of those things where my parents pushed me.

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Speaker 1: They were just kind of along for the ride because

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Speaker 1: I I knew pretty early I got good by the bug.

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Speaker 1: What does that mean? Because I didn't have that thing

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Speaker 1: that happened to me where I just knew what I

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Speaker 1: wanted to be for my entire life. So you just

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Speaker 1: knew you wanted to be a singer internally, like that

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Speaker 1: was inside of you. Oh yeah, I mean it's it's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, singing, it's just one of my purposes. I

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Speaker 1: feel like it chose me. But two fits. Um. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So you know, I started, you know, any anywhere you

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Speaker 1: know that we could drive. My mom and I would

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Speaker 1: load up and my sister would write all the lyrics.

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Speaker 1: Down for me and you know, teach me what these

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Speaker 1: songs meant, because I mean I didn't know, you know,

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Speaker 1: at the y um. But yeah, I just I feel

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Speaker 1: really thankful that, you know, I've had this um music

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Speaker 1: being such a big part of my life. It's I

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Speaker 1: feel like it's healing anyway, whether or not you're an

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Speaker 1: artist or you sing. So to be the one on

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Speaker 1: the other side kind of giving out medicine, um, I

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Speaker 1: feel like, you know, it's it's my blessing for sure.

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Speaker 1: It's more of a selfish thing, you know, yeah, like

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Speaker 1: you're as you're giving to other people, it's also filling

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Speaker 1: you up. So you're from Texas and were you guys

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Speaker 1: just driving around Texas or where you kind of going nationally?

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Speaker 1: What did that look like? Mainly Texas, like Southeast Texas

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Speaker 1: where I'm from, and um, we're also on the border Louisiana,

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Speaker 1: so yeah, my stomping grounds, yes exactly. So you know

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Speaker 1: we could anywhere, like in a fifty mil radius that

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Speaker 1: would happen. But eventually I got a booking agent down

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Speaker 1: in Beaumont, Okay, you know you know where that is.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and um, yeah he was great, you know

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Speaker 1: at the time, it was he he got me doing

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Speaker 1: some crazy gigs. Um. You know, obviously I was still

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Speaker 1: in school too, but every weekend I would go and

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Speaker 1: play at this place. I think I was like seven

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Speaker 1: or eight forty five minutes at night. Um, and I

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Speaker 1: would open up for people like Wayne tups Um or

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Speaker 1: Percy Sledge or Doobie Brothers. One time at seven years old, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was doing like a full show. We had you know,

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Speaker 1: we were hers, had a band, had background singers, but

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Speaker 1: man they did their best. Wow. Yeah, it was really fun.

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Speaker 1: It was It was fun for me. And like I said,

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Speaker 1: I got did by the bug. So shortly after that, Um,

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Speaker 1: I got some Uh. I think it was a family

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Speaker 1: friend that sent in this video that they recorded like

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Speaker 1: a VHS tape to Rosie O'donnald and Um she called

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Speaker 1: and I went on our show and I was like eight,

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Speaker 1: and that, you know, I got some attention from people

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Speaker 1: in Nashville, and so they flew me out and I

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Speaker 1: spent a couple of years. This like Reader's Digest version

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Speaker 1: of my story. So I spent a couple of years.

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Speaker 1: I'm going back and forth, and then eventually I got

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Speaker 1: signed to a development deal with Lyric Street. You know

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Speaker 1: there they were under Disney. It was like one of

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Speaker 1: the umbrella labels. And I mean, you're you remember like

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Speaker 1: Shi Daisy and Rascal Flats. Was I was gonna say

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Speaker 1: Rascal Flats. Yeah. Yeah, So that was you know, we

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Speaker 1: uprooted and we moved to Nashville. Wow, the whole family. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: my book, my parents, and my my little brother. My

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Speaker 1: older sister soon followed us because we're all very close.

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Speaker 1: Um still to this day. It's like, you know, you're

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Speaker 1: you're built in teammates. So she shortly followed. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was. It was a crazy time. I would, you know,

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Speaker 1: kind of go through the motions in school, but mainly, um,

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Speaker 1: you know, I was working. I was in a studio

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Speaker 1: trying to figure out uh, you know that world and

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Speaker 1: and um I wasn't really writing yet, okay, Um, but

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Speaker 1: I I honestly didn't know what what I wanted to do.

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Speaker 1: But I knew, uh, I knew what I didn't and

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Speaker 1: I knew that I wanted to sing country. Um, and

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Speaker 1: you know that kind of like fill into the corner

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Speaker 1: of At that time, there was a lot of you know,

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Speaker 1: like bubble gum pop uh country happening, and as much

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Speaker 1: as I enjoyed it, it was just was not me

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Speaker 1: so even a ship like a true tourist. I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to be Hannah Montana, you know. So so um yeah,

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Speaker 1: like fast forward. Um, you know, we had we'd had

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Speaker 1: some tragedy. We lost my dad suddenly, and um, I

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Speaker 1: just I think I just shut down, you know, like

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Speaker 1: you do in a in a grieving state. And um

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Speaker 1: we went back home. I lost my deal and you know,

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Speaker 1: it was it was a rough time, but it was

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Speaker 1: needed for sure. My label was was so great. Um

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Speaker 1: it was Randy Goodman and Doug Howard at the time. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's kind of like where my intro to Nashville was.

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Speaker 1: And then I moved back and lived with my sister.

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Speaker 1: She was still a year when I was like thirteen,

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Speaker 1: and you know, thirteen year old Cree was like, I

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Speaker 1: got something to say. So I wanted to start writing,

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Speaker 1: and you know, I've got an assimilarly cool rooms. I

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Speaker 1: met a lot of great writers and I felt very

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Speaker 1: welcomed to me, just like, oh, she's a singer. Let's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, let's give her some uh Martina McBride songs.

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Speaker 1: They really they took care of me and we're very

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Speaker 1: careful about listening to me and you know, seeing what

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Speaker 1: I really wanted to put out there and say, so,

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Speaker 1: how long did you have to take off? I know

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Speaker 1: you kind of mentioned your dad passing away, which it

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Speaker 1: was a very big tragedy. I'm assuming it because it

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Speaker 1: was a plane wreck, right, and so it was just quick.

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Speaker 1: And so what you said that made you sort of

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Speaker 1: shut down? Like what did that look like? What did

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Speaker 1: you just quit singing? Did you completely just emotionally shut down?

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Speaker 1: What do you mean by that emotionally shut down? It

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Speaker 1: was more of you know, singing how I didn't quite

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Speaker 1: know how to emote yet. Yeah, how old were you know?

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Speaker 1: I was eleven? Okay, and um yeah, I wasn't at

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Speaker 1: the place where I could channel it, you know. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So to me it was like, okay, well I was

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Speaker 1: just a show of human to be honest, I think,

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Speaker 1: well because we were all on such shock, and you

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Speaker 1: know the craziest part about um the accident was they

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Speaker 1: never found anything. It was a month after September eleven,

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Speaker 1: so the height of that it was a very sensitive

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Speaker 1: thing to where we were still trying to figure out

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Speaker 1: what they'll happened. Yeah, so there wasn't any closure, and

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Speaker 1: I don't. I mean, I've experienced both. I've experienced have

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Speaker 1: enclosure and I've experienced you know, what the hell does happened?

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Speaker 1: They're gone? I don't really, I don't know what's worse,

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Speaker 1: but it could drive you crazy for sure, to just

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Speaker 1: one and think what if it's like you're living in

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Speaker 1: castaway you know? Yeah, I mean that's what when I

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Speaker 1: was reading your story. Well, first of all, I mean

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Speaker 1: what you're describing to me about your first move to

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Speaker 1: Nashville is it seems like so much pressure as a child,

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Speaker 1: Like did you ever feel that realizing the weight of

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Speaker 1: getting a deal and going into these studio was like,

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Speaker 1: how did you even process that as a child? Well,

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Speaker 1: it's all it was always something that I wanted to

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Speaker 1: do for sure. You know, it's like you grew up

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Speaker 1: in a small town um where I mean we were

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Speaker 1: we didn't know at the time, but you know we

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Speaker 1: were world poor and we uh, you know the culture

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Speaker 1: shock already of like you can have a pizza delivered

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Speaker 1: your house. What's kind of happened at the same time

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Speaker 1: as me live in my dream, So I was I

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Speaker 1: think we were just all trying to take that in

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Speaker 1: but at the same time, um, you know, there there

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Speaker 1: was a lot of of course, there was a lot

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Speaker 1: of pressure and and also to keep it up and

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Speaker 1: to not um, you know, not be a failure of

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Speaker 1: well I was. I was the ticket out of that town,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Regardless if you know my

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Speaker 1: my my parents ever put that on me. It was

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Speaker 1: something that I've made up in my mind myself. Pressure.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah. Actually when there's adults around you that

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Speaker 1: hauled you up to such a high regard and you know,

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Speaker 1: you wear that responsibility for sure totally. So then your

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Speaker 1: dad had his accident, and I could see where that

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Speaker 1: would emotionally just be like, uh checked out. So what

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Speaker 1: was it that got you back into a place where

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Speaker 1: you're like, I've got to go back to Nashville. Well,

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Speaker 1: to tell you the truth, because we're not We're not

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Speaker 1: filtered here. Nope. I mean this isn't something until recently

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Speaker 1: that I've been saying out loud. But my mom actually

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Speaker 1: sent me to live with my sister. It was a

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Speaker 1: really dark time and a lot of our lives and um,

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Speaker 1: I think that she really just wanted me to get

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Speaker 1: back to doing what I what I should and and

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Speaker 1: I wasn't happy and just from the emotions and be

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Speaker 1: a normal and you know, just going to high school.

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Speaker 1: So sending me away to live with my sister was

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Speaker 1: you know, a big old heartbreak. But at the same time, um,

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Speaker 1: it was a it was a blessing in disguise. My

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Speaker 1: sister and are very close. Um she had had a

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Speaker 1: daughter as well. And I wouldn't take those years back

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Speaker 1: for anything. I mean, you know, we were kind of

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Speaker 1: played now together in a sense. Yeah, And not to mention,

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Speaker 1: you know, that was kind of like the first you know,

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Speaker 1: real time for me to for me being in the

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Speaker 1: community of Nashville and writing, and I created a lot

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Speaker 1: of family here just through that, just through that experience,

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Speaker 1: a lot of good friends, a lot of chosen family.

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Speaker 1: That's one of Great's songs. If you guys aren't aware

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Speaker 1: what I did there, it's I'm since here though, It's

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Speaker 1: it's very true, and um yeah, I want to trade

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Speaker 1: it for the world. I mek that, you know, my

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Speaker 1: mom and what she was doing. Yeah, I do find

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Speaker 1: that with Nashville, especially in the music industry. And it

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Speaker 1: was actually interesting. I was talking to an agency that

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Speaker 1: moves here yesterday and they're trying to recruit people, and

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Speaker 1: they were asking me, like, how did you get your

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Speaker 1: start here? And I'm like, it's just one of those

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Speaker 1: towns where it's like you meet one person, then you

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Speaker 1: meet another person, and it's word of mouth and everyone

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Speaker 1: becomes your family. You develop friendships with your clients. It's

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Speaker 1: just way deeper than just you work for somebody or

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Speaker 1: you're writing them a song or you know, it's like

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Speaker 1: it's a real community here. I think so too. You know,

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Speaker 1: we're all this is the only city of lived in.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I've spent a lot of months and others,

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Speaker 1: but I feel like it's very welcoming because we're all

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Speaker 1: just small town transplants. We're all totally belong somewhere and

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Speaker 1: it shows, you know, in a lot of ways. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So once you started writing, was that did that become

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Speaker 1: a bigger passion for you than singing or do they

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Speaker 1: pull different regards in your heart? Like how does that

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Speaker 1: work with artists? I always I'm so curious if you

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Speaker 1: like one more than the other. I did at the time.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to just right at that moment, and you know,

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Speaker 1: it felt like a different limb of mine, Like I

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Speaker 1: felt like I don't know, there was there was still pressure,

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Speaker 1: but it was less pressure than too you know, have

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Speaker 1: people constantly ask you who are you like brand? Yeah yeah,

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Speaker 1: so yeah, I lived in that world for a minute

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Speaker 1: and I loved it. And I think that I needed

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Speaker 1: that to be the writer than I am today anyway,

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Speaker 1: And um, you know, not I got a publishing deal.

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Speaker 1: I think I was fifteen with Chrysalis, which uh like

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Speaker 1: BMG now and through that, um, me and Chris Jansen

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Speaker 1: and Kingly was the band at the time. Um you know,

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Speaker 1: I was the female act and Chris was the male

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Speaker 1: and then they had the band. So we we you know,

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Speaker 1: had a lot of good times. We shared. It was

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Speaker 1: like very incestual, like we shared a producer and we

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Speaker 1: you know, you know, had a house where it was

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Speaker 1: like a rotating door of all all of us just

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Speaker 1: living out of it. And um yeah that that was

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Speaker 1: definitely like John and t J. You know. Um yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean I meant all of them when I was

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Speaker 1: like fourteen, which is so crazy. It's so crazy, I know,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, I mean I felt like they you know,

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Speaker 1: in a good way, being around that. It was inspiring

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Speaker 1: to to have all of these people, you know, creating

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Speaker 1: and doing stuff in our own lanes and um, not

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Speaker 1: a competitive thing, which I personally am just not competitive

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Speaker 1: bone in my body. Um uh, besides being competitive with myself. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well what a good what good company. I was thinking

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Speaker 1: about the people that you listed, Like Chris Jane said.

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Speaker 1: I remember watching him at Tootsie's way back in the

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Speaker 1: day and he's like this amazing harmonica player and all

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Speaker 1: the you know, just all the instruments and that was

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Speaker 1: the same time frame. Yeah, like King Billy Is. Uh.

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Speaker 1: I work with Charlie Worsham, who was a part of

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Speaker 1: that band, who was one of the most talented musicians

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Speaker 1: I've ever met. The brothers Osborne. I mean obviously everyone

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Speaker 1: knows who they are. They're amazing. So I can't Lucy too,

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Speaker 1: Lucy had Um she was coming back and forth, but

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Speaker 1: I met her obviously through our publishing company. She wrote

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Speaker 1: for them too, but in London, and uh, yeah, it

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Speaker 1: was just like a domino effective. Yeah, this is people. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and what a good way to learn. I just feel

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Speaker 1: like surrounding yourself with people that you respect your puper talented. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So then and also you know, combining people as well. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: your truck you know at the at one point, Um,

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Speaker 1: I have known Ashley Monroe for a really long time,

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Speaker 1: but at one point we lived together, and you know,

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Speaker 1: I would invite her over to We called it Hotel Villa,

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Speaker 1: which was the like the Kingly House. Yeah, um, yeah

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Speaker 1: it was. It was, just, like I said, a revolving

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Speaker 1: door of goodness. Yeah, sounds like it. I'm actually jealous

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Speaker 1: of those times. I wish I could have been a

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Speaker 1: fly on the Oh my god, I don't know if

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Speaker 1: that would hurt us or help us. We wouldn't survive

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Speaker 1: it now, I'm sure, but back in the day, very

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Speaker 1: thankful that social media was not because I think, oh lord, well,

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Speaker 1: so you got back to your to your roots, the

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Speaker 1: music stuff, and then unfortunately, you know, this is what's

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Speaker 1: so hard for me about your story is then your

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Speaker 1: mom had a an accident and passed away as well,

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Speaker 1: which is just I can't understand or even fathom what

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Speaker 1: that would be like to lose both parents. Was that

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Speaker 1: another time in your life that just put a halt

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Speaker 1: to what was happening? Did you just shut down again?

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Speaker 1: I did? I mean, I can't even I was. I

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Speaker 1: was really good? Was thank god? Um, you know, thanks

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Speaker 1: to therapy. Yeah, I was really good at that, and

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Speaker 1: I think that it was just a coping mechanism, and honestly,

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Speaker 1: I'm appreciative that my body was able to do that

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Speaker 1: for a lot of reasons. But yeah, I felt really lost,

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Speaker 1: and you know, you you questioned all kind of ship

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Speaker 1: and I went home again, you did, Yeah, I was.

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Speaker 1: I was nineteen, and um basically went back home and

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Speaker 1: camped out with you know, my little brother who was

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Speaker 1: fifteen at the time. And it was a it was

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Speaker 1: a very bizarre feeling in a different place in your

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Speaker 1: body to lose your mom. You know, it's just to

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Speaker 1: especially that suddenly. But yeah, we um, you know, we

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Speaker 1: we it was rough. I mean, I do gotta tell

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Speaker 1: you this quote though. I was recently watching um the

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Speaker 1: new episode of Idol, which go in and out of

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Speaker 1: but I actually did watch the premier this season and

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Speaker 1: Katy Perry said this, and I was like, oh, God,

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Speaker 1: like I felt that too much. But she said, some

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Speaker 1: of the greatest artists have become artists because they have

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Speaker 1: had the most pain in their life. If you can

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Speaker 1: take that pain and turn it into a purpose, which

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Speaker 1: I was like, oh, like definitely cried. Yeah, but I

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Speaker 1: wholeheartedly believe in that, and you know, I want to

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Speaker 1: continue to do so because it you know, I think

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Speaker 1: everybody will have a story that breaks your heart at

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Speaker 1: some point, but I definitely felt, um, you know some pain.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, well I do. I think that that quote

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Speaker 1: that resonates with all of the songs that I think

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Speaker 1: about that I love are just the songs where you

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Speaker 1: feel the lyrics because you know exactly what that artist

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Speaker 1: felt in the time and you can empathize with that feeling.

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Speaker 1: And I do think that that's true, that you can

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Speaker 1: really help people through your pain, you know, like kind

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Speaker 1: of like what you were saying earlier, Yeah, I just

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Speaker 1: so what after that has happened now? I mean, I

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Speaker 1: think probably most people listening are like, wait, what you know,

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Speaker 1: because it's just like both parents like, how do you

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Speaker 1: how in the world would you pick yourself back up

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Speaker 1: after that and say, Okay, I'm gonna go again. Like

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Speaker 1: I have had moments in my life where I faced

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Speaker 1: tragedy and I've been traumatized, and I feel like if

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Speaker 1: it happens once, you're like, okay, everybody has ship. Stuff happens,

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Speaker 1: and then you're like pick yourself up by the bootstraps,

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Speaker 1: let's get up again, Let's go again, and then if

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Speaker 1: it keeps happening though, you like, run out of that

364
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Speaker 1: resilience in a way, or I'll have Yeah, so what

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Speaker 1: did that drink? On that note? Okay, and we'll take

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Speaker 1: a step. Uh. I don't I think that you know,

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Speaker 1: the the choice of it all just for me is um,

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Speaker 1: you know, choosing every day to be happy and choosing

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Speaker 1: every day in my life fully for me. Um. I

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Speaker 1: mean that's I don't know that there's a right or

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Speaker 1: wrong way to to grieve. Um. I mean, I could

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Speaker 1: definitely tell you what not to do, but UM, I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I think I think I just went through

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Speaker 1: so many emotions of like you do, of anger and

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Speaker 1: um kind of feeling like a victim too, you know,

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Speaker 1: like what an I hate the mentality of so and

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Speaker 1: so got the like the ship into the stick. Um

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Speaker 1: that that whole mentality live in your life that way,

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Speaker 1: it's so much more draining, um. And I know because

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Speaker 1: I did it for a minute then you know, finding

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Speaker 1: the beauty out of terrible things or you know, making

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Speaker 1: it a bitter sweet uh lesson. I mean what we

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Speaker 1: went through was was rough enough so to live in

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Speaker 1: that moment forever. It's just not I don't think something

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Speaker 1: that is healthy, you know. Yeah, as you said that though,

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Speaker 1: when you said, you know, some people get the ship

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Speaker 1: into the stick kind of thing, I'm thinking about, how

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Speaker 1: could you not feel that way for a minute at least,

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Speaker 1: Like that's right, Yeah, we live in that moment for

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Speaker 1: a minute. Yeah, just not to get stuck there. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's just as important to know that you can get

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Speaker 1: out of it. There is a lot at the end

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Speaker 1: of the tunnel. You just gotta make it, you know. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like surround yourself with people that fill that way too.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, because I mean at the end of the day,

396
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Speaker 1: like we're all just here to literally experience and fill everything.

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Speaker 1: So maybe I just did it a little bit earlier. Yeah, yeah,

398
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,920
Speaker 1: well that's an interesting way to look at it, but too,

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Speaker 1: especially with the career that you have and how you've

400
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:28,399
Speaker 1: said you feel like you want to take your music

401
00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:31,280
Speaker 1: and impact other people in certain ways. Like maybe that

402
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:33,280
Speaker 1: is why it had to happen early, so that you

403
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:37,760
Speaker 1: could bring out That's why I like to tell myself. Yeah,

404
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:40,160
Speaker 1: I mean, we none of us know, but it's it's

405
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Speaker 1: all I mean, I think that that's a good mentality.

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Speaker 1: I like what you said about it's a choice every

407
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Speaker 1: day because I think that that's true, especially as you

408
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:50,919
Speaker 1: get older. It's like we said, everyone has something, you know,

409
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Speaker 1: and especially like this last year, I think we've all

410
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Speaker 1: collectively felt so much trauma and stress and all of

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Speaker 1: this stuff, and certainty is yeah, just one of the

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Speaker 1: scariest things. Besides like you know, being misunderstood. I think

413
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Speaker 1: I hate both of those. Yeah, I mean, I don't know.

414
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Speaker 1: I also think that, um, it's really cool to be

415
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Speaker 1: a part of the generation where it's not weak to

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Speaker 1: seek out help and it's it's not you know, it's

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00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:34,840
Speaker 1: more of a strength now. Um two, you know, seek

418
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Speaker 1: seek out therapy or or things that that will help

419
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:44,879
Speaker 1: you throughout life. Because again we've all you know, I

420
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:48,159
Speaker 1: had a different journey, but it seems to you know,

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Speaker 1: it's life's hard. But yeah, I think I'm grateful for

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Speaker 1: that being a part of this generation. I remember, I mean,

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Speaker 1: even especially men, I would say, um, but you know

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Speaker 1: where I, where I grew up, that was it was

425
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:08,640
Speaker 1: a weakness to um to seek out therapy or any

426
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:12,840
Speaker 1: sort of self help thing. You know, what's been the

427
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:18,080
Speaker 1: thing that's helped you the most. Uh well, I mean

428
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:23,040
Speaker 1: music always, um, but other than that, just surrounded myself

429
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:28,479
Speaker 1: with with good people and you know, whether or not

430
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:31,720
Speaker 1: it's it's always positive or whatever. You know, it's not

431
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:35,320
Speaker 1: like we've we've never sat around and cried about ship. Yeah.

432
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:39,200
Speaker 1: But but the knowing that I'm not alone in it, yeah,

433
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 1: I think that that's huge. Yeah, yeah, I've noticed that. Um.

434
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,840
Speaker 1: I think human beings are made for connection in general,

435
00:26:56,040 --> 00:27:01,199
Speaker 1: but especially going through tragedies. I think at finding someone,

436
00:27:01,359 --> 00:27:05,399
Speaker 1: like you said, who could actually understand or empathize, it

437
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:09,399
Speaker 1: changes everything because you just feel less alone. Yeah. And

438
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:12,240
Speaker 1: you know, not just my chosen family too, but like

439
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:15,440
Speaker 1: I said earlier, my siblings and are very close, right,

440
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:21,080
Speaker 1: and to have them, you know two sometimes it's even

441
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:24,680
Speaker 1: like in a morbid way, we'll joke about something and uh,

442
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:30,919
Speaker 1: it's nice though to have people that have felt just

443
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:34,159
Speaker 1: as much as you have. Yeah, whether it's in a

444
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:36,800
Speaker 1: different part of their body, it's you know, pain is pain.

445
00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:41,320
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah. Um. So obviously you got your music career

446
00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:46,160
Speaker 1: back and you came back from all of that tragedy. Um.

447
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:49,119
Speaker 1: And then there's the idle piece American idol. We mentioned

448
00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 1: this a second ago. But you've been watching the new season.

449
00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:56,479
Speaker 1: You were the runner up on which season? Season twelve?

450
00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:59,720
Speaker 1: Season twelves? So who was the actual winner that? It was?

451
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:02,760
Speaker 1: Key Dis Glover. Oh okay, yeah, yeahh Who were the

452
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:04,920
Speaker 1: judges when you were on? I was trying to figure

453
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:12,199
Speaker 1: this out during my research. It was Keith Urban, Mariah Carey,

454
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:15,880
Speaker 1: and Nicki Minash. Okay, So is that intimidating as hell?

455
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:18,480
Speaker 1: When you first walk in and you're just like, oh

456
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:21,159
Speaker 1: my gosh, these are these superstars sitting here? Is like,

457
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:25,000
Speaker 1: what does that feel like? I mean, it was. It

458
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:30,040
Speaker 1: was a really humbling experience for sure. Um, mainly, like

459
00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:33,040
Speaker 1: you know, I had been in Nashville as you know

460
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:36,200
Speaker 1: for a minute, so I wasn't a stranger to being

461
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:42,560
Speaker 1: around famous people or celebrities. But um, what was the

462
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 1: different animal for me was being on TV and you know,

463
00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:50,920
Speaker 1: look for a red light or um, having cameras in

464
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:55,360
Speaker 1: your face. I think it only it only benefited me that, Um,

465
00:28:55,400 --> 00:29:00,400
Speaker 1: I'm not an actress. You learned that one. Oh yeah,

466
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:02,200
Speaker 1: the hard way. We're not even going to go down

467
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 1: that road later after another cocktail, right, But no, I've

468
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 1: never not an actress. But I think that that was

469
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:16,240
Speaker 1: a benefit to me, was that what you see is

470
00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:19,800
Speaker 1: what you get, and um, they heightened that and I was,

471
00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 1: um an addition to my story and it made it

472
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,959
Speaker 1: easier for sure that they weren't like, Okay, give us

473
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:33,960
Speaker 1: some energy. That's not me, I think than that pretty

474
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:38,480
Speaker 1: uh you know, pretty much at the at the get go.

475
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:41,080
Speaker 1: But yeah, it was intimidating though to sing in front

476
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:44,200
Speaker 1: of right carry am I gonna lie? I can't imagine. Yeah,

477
00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:47,440
Speaker 1: I mean, she's an icon. But everybody was so sweet

478
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:52,960
Speaker 1: to me, and um, I've I've befriended, yeah, a lot

479
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:56,120
Speaker 1: of people and there will be lifelong relationships to me,

480
00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:59,400
Speaker 1: not just the contestants, I mean I still talk to

481
00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 1: a lot of them, um too, but even the crew. Yeah,

482
00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:08,480
Speaker 1: because you spend I mean, you know, you spend a

483
00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 1: lot of your time with with with with a crew

484
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 1: and for people at the top all the way to

485
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:20,200
Speaker 1: the bottom of the Yeah, I'm completely cuposed to Um. Yeah,

486
00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:23,200
Speaker 1: I just I couldn't imagine walking into that situation and

487
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 1: just not wanting to know everybody. Yeah, having people around

488
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:33,760
Speaker 1: you that, um, you know you couldment to or uh

489
00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:39,160
Speaker 1: you know, rely on. So yeah, I mean, speaking of

490
00:30:39,240 --> 00:30:41,920
Speaker 1: chosen family. To me, set life is like it just

491
00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:45,640
Speaker 1: becomes your family because you're spending hours on end. I

492
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:48,080
Speaker 1: actually I've worked on American Idol doing hair and makeup,

493
00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:51,800
Speaker 1: and I was, yeah, with the Bobby Bones that you

494
00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:55,680
Speaker 1: know he's been for the last couple of years, Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah,

495
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,800
Speaker 1: but it's it was so shocking to me to see

496
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:02,160
Speaker 1: the intensity that the contestants have to go through. I mean,

497
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:07,120
Speaker 1: especially Hollywood Week, it's insane. It's just like, yeah, you

498
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 1: don't sleep, you're supposed to sing, you're memorizing new songs,

499
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:13,880
Speaker 1: you have a partner, there's like all of these factors

500
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:16,719
Speaker 1: that I was so impressed. Yeah, and I guess that's

501
00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:18,760
Speaker 1: how they weed people out, but it's just like, I

502
00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:23,160
Speaker 1: was so impressed by all of the obstacles that people

503
00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:25,640
Speaker 1: have to face to get really far on that show.

504
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:32,160
Speaker 1: What was the hardest heart Um, the hardest part was

505
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:38,200
Speaker 1: emoting to a camera like during the live shows. To

506
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:43,360
Speaker 1: be honest, Um, you know I didn't I was never

507
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:48,479
Speaker 1: trained or had vocal lessons, but you know, I was

508
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:51,840
Speaker 1: in the peat space for a long time that I

509
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:54,240
Speaker 1: wanted to just be technically correct and hit all the

510
00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:58,320
Speaker 1: right notes. Um, even though that was not my inspiration,

511
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 1: Like that wasn't sort of my influence, it's at all,

512
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:03,640
Speaker 1: Like I you know, I loved people where you could

513
00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:08,040
Speaker 1: hear the cry and every breath and um like a

514
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:12,640
Speaker 1: heartache even but um, it wasn't until that show where

515
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:16,240
Speaker 1: I figured out how to emote um. And that's helped

516
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 1: me with everything. It's helped me. Not just on stage

517
00:32:20,440 --> 00:32:22,480
Speaker 1: obviously I've been doing that for a long time, but

518
00:32:22,560 --> 00:32:26,160
Speaker 1: even in the studio. Yeah, I occurred in front of

519
00:32:26,160 --> 00:32:31,840
Speaker 1: a camera. Um, I mean that that was really a challenge,

520
00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 1: but I don't really help to me, you know, hone

521
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:37,280
Speaker 1: into that. Do you feel like it helped a lot

522
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:39,960
Speaker 1: with your live performance? That was another thing I noticed

523
00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:43,720
Speaker 1: is all of the contestants are amazing singers and so,

524
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:46,680
Speaker 1: but you're also putting these positions where you just have

525
00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:48,920
Speaker 1: to be on and you have to do it all

526
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:51,880
Speaker 1: the time. Yeah. Right, And like you said too, I

527
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:56,560
Speaker 1: mean there were times where I was uncomfortably exhausted because

528
00:32:56,600 --> 00:33:00,480
Speaker 1: it's you know, much less a live show. You know,

529
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 1: you're going from um, you know, the the actual show,

530
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:08,360
Speaker 1: and then that night you pick your song for next

531
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:10,600
Speaker 1: week and you go and record the song. In a

532
00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:13,440
Speaker 1: matter of hours and by the time that you laid

533
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:18,440
Speaker 1: down after rehearsals and um, you know, going and making

534
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:23,480
Speaker 1: sure that you're your spots taped down for whatever episode

535
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:25,880
Speaker 1: that or that whatever thing that you're filming. The next day,

536
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:28,160
Speaker 1: it's like three o'clock in the morning and you got

537
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:33,320
Speaker 1: cold time at six. So um, And I know that

538
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:36,560
Speaker 1: you and I've talked about this, you know, one of

539
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:40,560
Speaker 1: our girls nights. But I I find that I really

540
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:43,960
Speaker 1: am thankful that I went and did it when I did,

541
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:49,520
Speaker 1: because I had had the experience already here in Nashville

542
00:33:50,280 --> 00:33:54,560
Speaker 1: of you know, being having the pressure to be on

543
00:33:55,040 --> 00:34:01,280
Speaker 1: all the time and you know, having this muscle, uh

544
00:34:01,520 --> 00:34:05,640
Speaker 1: you know, of a voice. It's I was never just

545
00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:08,680
Speaker 1: too tired to sing because I had already built that

546
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:15,480
Speaker 1: you know, yeah up. And it showed a lot um

547
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:18,480
Speaker 1: which was a you know, good good thing for me,

548
00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:22,880
Speaker 1: I think, but bad for some of the contestants. That

549
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:26,160
Speaker 1: really it starts to filter it out on its own.

550
00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:29,400
Speaker 1: You can tell who will last and who won't, not

551
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:34,000
Speaker 1: because they're not incredible, but because it is a full

552
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:39,160
Speaker 1: on marathon. Yeah yeah, So you had had the experience

553
00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:41,160
Speaker 1: to kind of give you that foundation that some of

554
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 1: them just didn't have So yeah, yeah, yeah, UM, if

555
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:48,320
Speaker 1: you had to go back, would you do it again?

556
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:55,560
Speaker 1: Yeah you would. I wouldn't do it in this lifetime.

557
00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:00,799
Speaker 1: But yeah, I don't regret it when bit I really

558
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:02,680
Speaker 1: really don't. And I know that a lot of people

559
00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:07,000
Speaker 1: have different experiences. Um, you know, some that are horrible

560
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:11,319
Speaker 1: and terrifying and um and you know, the feeling of

561
00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:17,479
Speaker 1: rejection anyway sucks. But now, I UM, I felt really

562
00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:20,200
Speaker 1: really I still do. I feel really thankful that I

563
00:35:20,239 --> 00:35:23,960
Speaker 1: did it. I mean, I I can't imagine um not

564
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:25,920
Speaker 1: having the people in my life that I do now

565
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:31,400
Speaker 1: just from the show. And that's why contestants to crew. Yeah,

566
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:35,280
Speaker 1: were there any obstacles you faced after doing American Idol?

567
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:38,319
Speaker 1: You know, because it is a reality TV show, right,

568
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:40,200
Speaker 1: and so I think a lot of people put these

569
00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:43,520
Speaker 1: labels on it, like you know, you're just trying to

570
00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:46,480
Speaker 1: get famous fast or like are you really as talented

571
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:49,440
Speaker 1: as you think you are? Kind of mentalities? And so

572
00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:52,239
Speaker 1: did you face any of those obstacles even because you

573
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:55,239
Speaker 1: already had this you know foundation in Nashville. So when

574
00:35:55,280 --> 00:36:00,560
Speaker 1: you came back, what was it like? Um, to be honest,

575
00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 1: I took a break and I didn't take a break

576
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:09,880
Speaker 1: like you know, just just party break or have you know,

577
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:14,920
Speaker 1: lazy year I. Um, I honestly just really wanted to

578
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:19,560
Speaker 1: take my time and find songs and not rush a

579
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:22,400
Speaker 1: half as record just to keep up the momentum. I

580
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:24,120
Speaker 1: didn't want to do that because I didn't think that

581
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:25,840
Speaker 1: that would be fair, not just to me, but the

582
00:36:25,880 --> 00:36:30,439
Speaker 1: people that had supported me for so long, um and

583
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:34,799
Speaker 1: you know throughout the whole show. Uh, you know that's

584
00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:38,480
Speaker 1: what That's what I felt like. I owed that to them,

585
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:41,280
Speaker 1: to take my time and make the record I wanted

586
00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 1: to for my debut album, because even with the label,

587
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:48,640
Speaker 1: you know, I only put out a couple of things

588
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:52,240
Speaker 1: that were even like on a compilation record with other artists.

589
00:36:52,239 --> 00:36:57,840
Speaker 1: It was never my record. Yeah, so then you I

590
00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 1: did that, but of course there was there was pressure.

591
00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:04,640
Speaker 1: I think that Another thing too is I never showed

592
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:09,960
Speaker 1: my range fully one Idle. No. I did on Idle Idle,

593
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:14,399
Speaker 1: but before that, you know, like when I was little sure, um,

594
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:18,920
Speaker 1: but whenever I was writing in Nashville, UM, I wanted

595
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:21,080
Speaker 1: it to be more about what I had to say

596
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:23,880
Speaker 1: and not how I was singing it. UM. So I

597
00:37:23,920 --> 00:37:28,160
Speaker 1: held back a lot and I think, um, after Idle too,

598
00:37:28,520 --> 00:37:31,080
Speaker 1: it helped me be able to kind of marry those

599
00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:34,759
Speaker 1: two things. I don't have to sacrifice my range for

600
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:39,399
Speaker 1: a good lyric and vice versa. Um. So I think

601
00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:42,160
Speaker 1: that that actually surprised a lot of people, even like

602
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:47,040
Speaker 1: my you know Nashville family, uh here, because I was

603
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:49,520
Speaker 1: just like, I want to be a singer songwriter and

604
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:53,480
Speaker 1: make a record like the records, Like I was like

605
00:37:53,520 --> 00:38:01,240
Speaker 1: the records. Um. But yeah, there was there was definitely, um,

606
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:06,480
Speaker 1: which there always is. It's always uh gamble to do

607
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:10,879
Speaker 1: one of those shows and then by by some maybe

608
00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:16,759
Speaker 1: even most, you're kind of stamped with like karaoke singer. Yeah. Yeah,

609
00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:20,960
Speaker 1: but I never felt that here because again a lot

610
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:22,880
Speaker 1: of people had you know, I've been here for a

611
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:29,319
Speaker 1: long time. Um, it had been eighty four years. I'm

612
00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:34,120
Speaker 1: like that little old lady. But yeah, so I don't,

613
00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:38,680
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know that there was a there

614
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:43,160
Speaker 1: was any amount of me that was like, um, what

615
00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:45,400
Speaker 1: what would happen if I just put out you know

616
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:48,040
Speaker 1: something right now? Like That's that's not what I wanted anyway.

617
00:38:48,080 --> 00:38:52,120
Speaker 1: I wanted longevity. I did the show two go a

618
00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:55,160
Speaker 1: different route and have a platform rather than just knock

619
00:38:55,239 --> 00:38:59,279
Speaker 1: on every label door and um, try to get a deal.

620
00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:04,400
Speaker 1: I wanted people to know my story and um, yeah

621
00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:07,640
Speaker 1: do it. Yeah. Well, I mean, the exposure is undeniable.

622
00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:10,239
Speaker 1: You can't beat that. I do think you're right, it's

623
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:13,360
Speaker 1: like there's like a label sometimes. But also when you

624
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:15,120
Speaker 1: just made the joke about how old you are, like

625
00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:17,240
Speaker 1: eighty four years or whatever, I'm thinking, well, you really

626
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,800
Speaker 1: have had a career, like in the length of time

627
00:39:19,840 --> 00:39:23,080
Speaker 1: that most adults actually have. So I mean, I can't

628
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:25,399
Speaker 1: imagine that you wouldn't feel a little burnout and need

629
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:28,319
Speaker 1: a little break every now and again. Oh for sure. Well,

630
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:33,200
Speaker 1: and and mainly just thinking that you know, anything new

631
00:39:33,719 --> 00:39:37,880
Speaker 1: and shiny and not in a like, you know, funked

632
00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:41,360
Speaker 1: up way, but like we gravitate to that. That's of course,

633
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:46,160
Speaker 1: so I thought I'm old news now, you know which

634
00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:49,440
Speaker 1: obviously I don't feel that way now, but um, I

635
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:54,239
Speaker 1: definitely did for sure. I'm thirty, I'm I'm I'm just

636
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:59,280
Speaker 1: figuring out. I just grew into my feet, you know, like, um,

637
00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:03,440
Speaker 1: but I have been here for twenty one years. It's insane.

638
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:05,879
Speaker 1: I mean that, just to hear you say that, it's

639
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:08,200
Speaker 1: like you've had a full career, like you're ready to

640
00:40:08,239 --> 00:40:14,560
Speaker 1: retire girl never, and now you're just getting started. The

641
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:17,160
Speaker 1: idea that you're thirty is just my bloy, but I

642
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:21,080
Speaker 1: love the idea too. Of um, you've learned these things

643
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:23,759
Speaker 1: on idol. You gave yourself more range. Like I just

644
00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:26,080
Speaker 1: I think a lot of times in life, and I

645
00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:28,399
Speaker 1: know I do this to myself at least, but I'll

646
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:30,319
Speaker 1: make a decision and I'm like, oh, I really just

647
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:32,400
Speaker 1: sucked my whole career up and it's over, and like

648
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:35,920
Speaker 1: it's done. And the reality is is it's just shifting

649
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:38,920
Speaker 1: you right, Like it's just it's opening up a new door,

650
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:42,439
Speaker 1: a new pathway. Every single decision I've made has taught

651
00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:44,960
Speaker 1: me something new about myself that makes me into a

652
00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:51,000
Speaker 1: better version for this next chapter. Man. But it's hard

653
00:40:51,040 --> 00:40:54,479
Speaker 1: to see it that way when you're in it, oh

654
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:57,400
Speaker 1: for sure. And I mean, like you know, in any

655
00:40:57,560 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 1: in any sense too. Um, I stopped putting the pressure

656
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:08,919
Speaker 1: on myself of you know, basically from where I'm from,

657
00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:11,360
Speaker 1: if you're not on TV and if you're not everywhere,

658
00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:14,960
Speaker 1: then you what are you doing? You know what I'm saying.

659
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:20,879
Speaker 1: And so I just kind of put that aside and went, well,

660
00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:23,680
Speaker 1: that's not right, Like obviously, I know in my heart

661
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:27,360
Speaker 1: that that is not a thing. What I'm doing. I'm making,

662
00:41:27,920 --> 00:41:33,960
Speaker 1: you know, my my masterpieces here and doing it um

663
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:35,799
Speaker 1: on my own time and in my own way, and

664
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:38,920
Speaker 1: that feels way more like a success and a failure

665
00:41:38,960 --> 00:41:43,160
Speaker 1: than you know then I was claiming. Yeah, well, and

666
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:47,160
Speaker 1: that's also it's your authentic truth, right, So whenever we're

667
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 1: living in that, I feel like that's always the biggest,

668
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:53,320
Speaker 1: biggest success. And you can tell, like, you know, somebody

669
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:55,879
Speaker 1: exudes that if they really believe it, they kind of

670
00:41:55,920 --> 00:42:00,279
Speaker 1: wear it. Yeah. Yeah, Well, speaking of your you know,

671
00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:03,440
Speaker 1: continuing on with his career, what do you have coming up?

672
00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:04,919
Speaker 1: What are you working on now that we can get

673
00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:09,960
Speaker 1: excited about. Well, I put out my second record in

674
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:17,520
Speaker 1: the middle of a pandemic. Nice timing, Okay, um, but

675
00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:21,640
Speaker 1: I'm so proud of this record, and um, you know,

676
00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:27,600
Speaker 1: I feel like getting these two records out of me,

677
00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:32,080
Speaker 1: um and putting them out in the world right now.

678
00:42:32,280 --> 00:42:37,000
Speaker 1: To be completely honest, I'm inspired one day and then

679
00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:43,120
Speaker 1: completely uninspired the next. Completely relate to that. Yeah, So um,

680
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:45,479
Speaker 1: I'm I'm just kind of you know, I'm being good

681
00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:50,000
Speaker 1: to me, and I think that, um, I'm taking again

682
00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:53,799
Speaker 1: the pressure away from myself of like what's next. You know,

683
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:57,160
Speaker 1: It's like I'm definitely living in the now. I'm very

684
00:42:57,239 --> 00:43:00,840
Speaker 1: inspired in a lot of ways. From yes, I'm writing songs.

685
00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:03,799
Speaker 1: I can't wait to make my next record, but I'm

686
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:08,239
Speaker 1: I'm making music constantly and even doing things right now

687
00:43:08,280 --> 00:43:15,160
Speaker 1: like painting and um, you know, nesting and uh it's

688
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:20,920
Speaker 1: it's I really am thankful to have gone h throughout

689
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:28,000
Speaker 1: this pandemic with my fiance. Like I feel so thankful

690
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:30,279
Speaker 1: that that I have him and we have each other

691
00:43:30,880 --> 00:43:33,719
Speaker 1: to stay sane and kind of bounce off of each

692
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:38,320
Speaker 1: other as well. He's um an amazing dude and also

693
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:42,080
Speaker 1: a creative himself. He's a seniorus A writer and um,

694
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:45,120
Speaker 1: you know, graphic designers. So it's been really fun kind

695
00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:48,560
Speaker 1: of like not forced to do things together because we

696
00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:54,640
Speaker 1: always did, but uh, just for no reason, we'll record

697
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:57,720
Speaker 1: a cover and it's it's fun. It's like a learning

698
00:43:57,760 --> 00:44:04,480
Speaker 1: experience too. Of um, um, you know how so many artists,

699
00:44:04,719 --> 00:44:08,759
Speaker 1: including myself claiming this, you know, I always relied on

700
00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:12,480
Speaker 1: other people to do things like this is my lane.

701
00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:15,080
Speaker 1: I'm going to stay in it. But during this pandemic,

702
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:17,800
Speaker 1: I mean I've learned how to set up a freaking camera.

703
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:23,320
Speaker 1: Did not do that today? Or like my own lating

704
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:28,360
Speaker 1: or um, you know, all of the things that go

705
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:33,920
Speaker 1: into even promotion, promoting yourself. UM. So I've been doing

706
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:35,600
Speaker 1: a lot of that and it's been really fun. If

707
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:38,520
Speaker 1: it feels like, oh, that's I don't have to call

708
00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:42,279
Speaker 1: so and so to do that nice Yeah you know, yeah, well,

709
00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:44,719
Speaker 1: and and like the thing that pandemic taught me, and

710
00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:47,000
Speaker 1: it's so much of what you're saying is just the

711
00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:50,399
Speaker 1: learning thing. It's like we're never done learning, and it's

712
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 1: okay not to know how to do everything. I always like,

713
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:55,239
Speaker 1: you know, shame myself. I'm like, I've just suck at

714
00:44:55,239 --> 00:44:56,279
Speaker 1: that or I don't know how to do it. Well,

715
00:44:56,680 --> 00:44:59,640
Speaker 1: We've been lucky enough to have this downtime to where

716
00:44:59,680 --> 00:45:01,880
Speaker 1: it's like, hey, why don't you learn something new or

717
00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:04,680
Speaker 1: look at it from a different angle, and to just

718
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:07,480
Speaker 1: know that we're always going to be doing that until

719
00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:10,440
Speaker 1: the day we die, right. I think that, you know,

720
00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:15,000
Speaker 1: obviously this the whole pandemic has been fucking crazy and

721
00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:21,080
Speaker 1: heartbreaking for most um, but I do think that um,

722
00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:26,759
Speaker 1: taking a second and like sitting still and and um,

723
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:30,120
Speaker 1: you know, living in our own ship is helped me

724
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:34,600
Speaker 1: even even my uh I said earlier, like I got

725
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:37,560
Speaker 1: my first therapy appointment on the first I'm freaking excited,

726
00:45:39,600 --> 00:45:46,680
Speaker 1: you know, Um, I really am. I'm I'm anxious, but

727
00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:51,000
Speaker 1: but phil settled in where I am right now to

728
00:45:51,520 --> 00:45:56,640
Speaker 1: just study and grow. Yeah. You know, well, I hear

729
00:45:56,760 --> 00:45:59,520
Speaker 1: so much of you giving yourself grace, which I love,

730
00:45:59,600 --> 00:46:01,640
Speaker 1: and I think that's what we all need more of.

731
00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:05,360
Speaker 1: And that's one thing I'm taking away from two is

732
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:08,800
Speaker 1: just even the slowdown. I mean, it was definitely needed

733
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:11,759
Speaker 1: for me, but like you've had moments in your life

734
00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:14,040
Speaker 1: where it's just like I just need a break for

735
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:17,279
Speaker 1: a second, Like I think that's okay. Whereas we we

736
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:20,919
Speaker 1: didn't do that in the past, you know, Nope. Yeah,

737
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:23,400
Speaker 1: And you know, I'm just like you're saying, it's I

738
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:25,120
Speaker 1: feel like it's we're going to get more out of

739
00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:28,759
Speaker 1: ourselves by doing it, yes, and more true that of

740
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:33,879
Speaker 1: ourselves authenticity. Yeah, well create a So I'm so glad

741
00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:36,120
Speaker 1: we can finally do this, by the way, we literally

742
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:39,400
Speaker 1: tried forever. But I really appreciate you telling your story

743
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:41,920
Speaker 1: with everyone because I know it's inspiring to me and

744
00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:44,680
Speaker 1: to see you just continue to rise, It's just going

745
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:47,720
Speaker 1: to be so so wonderful, especially knowing where you come from.

746
00:46:47,840 --> 00:46:50,279
Speaker 1: So um, tell the people where they can find you

747
00:46:50,320 --> 00:46:54,440
Speaker 1: to keep up with your journey. Well, besides all of

748
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:58,560
Speaker 1: my nieces and nephews that I post about constant, people

749
00:46:58,600 --> 00:47:02,759
Speaker 1: think that I have like thirteen kids. Um, but I

750
00:47:02,800 --> 00:47:06,600
Speaker 1: mean I'm I'm on social media, it's careers, uh pretty

751
00:47:06,680 --> 00:47:08,680
Speaker 1: much everywhere. It's not so hard to find. But I

752
00:47:08,719 --> 00:47:11,040
Speaker 1: am really excited and anxious for people to listen to

753
00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:14,160
Speaker 1: this record I put out. It's called Chosen Family Tree,

754
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:19,440
Speaker 1: and yeah it's it's it's out there. It's everywhere awesome

755
00:47:19,719 --> 00:47:23,000
Speaker 1: Chosen Family Tree and at care Harrison on all socials.

756
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:24,960
Speaker 1: You guys go check her out. Thank you again so

757
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:27,600
Speaker 1: much for doing this, Kelly. I just I love you

758
00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:32,840
Speaker 1: when I Dorey when I'm just too I thought too soon. Okay, bye.

759
00:47:33,440 --> 00:47:36,480
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to The Velvet's Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson,

760
00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:39,120
Speaker 1: where we believe everyone has a little velvet and a

761
00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:43,320
Speaker 1: little edge. Subscribe for more conversations on life, style, beauty,

762
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:47,080
Speaker 1: and relationships. Search Velvet's Edge wherever you get your podcasts,