1 00:00:00,880 --> 00:00:03,320 Speaker 1: Hi Catherine, how are you Hi, Chelsea? 2 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:05,720 Speaker 2: We're here for another minisode. 3 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:07,440 Speaker 3: Minisod Welcome to a minisode. 4 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:09,760 Speaker 4: So I have a follow up from Carly who called 5 00:00:09,800 --> 00:00:13,160 Speaker 4: in way back on our Lauren Lapkus episode. She was 6 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:15,840 Speaker 4: ready to move on from situationships was sleeping with a 7 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:18,319 Speaker 4: coworker and felt like she was kind of falling for 8 00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:20,279 Speaker 4: him and wanted to tell him. Our advice was to 9 00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:24,479 Speaker 4: tell him how she was feeling. So she says, hey, there, 10 00:00:24,600 --> 00:00:27,600 Speaker 4: thanks for checking in. I unfortunately don't have a success 11 00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:29,720 Speaker 4: story to fill you in on. I did take Chelsea's 12 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:32,720 Speaker 4: advice and it didn't pan out. I started dating again 13 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:35,400 Speaker 4: and met some interesting guys. This time around. I felt 14 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:36,919 Speaker 4: like the ball was in my court and I had 15 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:38,959 Speaker 4: the power. It took the pressure off of dating, and 16 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:40,640 Speaker 4: I just decided I want to have fun with it. 17 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:43,640 Speaker 4: One guy showed promise, but then unfortunately I started getting 18 00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 4: the ick. I actually started things up again with the 19 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,800 Speaker 4: guy I was sleeping with after a bunch of failed 20 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:50,879 Speaker 4: attempts at dating again. Dating can get exhausting, and I'm 21 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:54,760 Speaker 4: unfortunately impatient. I'm so hopeful that I'll meet the one, 22 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:57,200 Speaker 4: but for now I'm just focusing on making money. Traveling 23 00:00:57,320 --> 00:01:00,800 Speaker 4: and having my friends with benefits. Thanks again for Carly. 24 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:03,680 Speaker 1: That was with the boss or what not? 25 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:05,240 Speaker 2: With the boss. This was like a while ago. 26 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:06,640 Speaker 4: She was like sleeping with a coworker and she was 27 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:08,880 Speaker 4: getting the feelings they were like friends with benefits. 28 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:11,000 Speaker 1: Yeah right, and he wasn't out. Okay, okay, copy of that. 29 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:13,280 Speaker 3: Well right, you have your answer, and now you're happier. 30 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:16,320 Speaker 3: So I was right, yeah, like you got your information. 31 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:19,440 Speaker 1: You found out. Yes, that's good. This is progress. And 32 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:20,760 Speaker 1: now she's enjoying her life. 33 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:23,080 Speaker 4: I love this, like focusing on making money and traveling 34 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:23,840 Speaker 4: and having fun with my. 35 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:24,880 Speaker 2: Friend, having good amazing. 36 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:27,040 Speaker 3: And also let's all just get out of the idea 37 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:29,360 Speaker 3: of that there's one person out there for us. 38 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:30,959 Speaker 2: Agree, it's just so silly. 39 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:35,800 Speaker 3: That's impossible with there's nine billion people on the planet almost. 40 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:37,800 Speaker 2: Now, Like there are better people and worse people. 41 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:39,720 Speaker 1: I don't even know how many people are on the planet. 42 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:41,320 Speaker 2: That's a lot. It's too many. 43 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:43,680 Speaker 3: It's too many, and there's not just one. There are 44 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:46,320 Speaker 3: multiple people out there for you. So it's like if 45 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:48,200 Speaker 3: it doesn't work out with what's not like you're meeting 46 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:49,559 Speaker 3: your there's no such thing. 47 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:52,640 Speaker 1: I mean, like, yeah, I believe in you know, you can. 48 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,280 Speaker 3: Have a connection with someone, but that can go for 49 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:57,920 Speaker 3: your mother, your sister, your daughter, your dog, you know, 50 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:00,960 Speaker 3: your neighbor. Like, there's a lot of soulmates versions out there, 51 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,400 Speaker 3: so don't think of it as like there's one person. 52 00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:06,080 Speaker 1: There's more than one person that you can match with. 53 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:09,680 Speaker 4: Just like like you said, more than one dog, right, Yeah, 54 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,040 Speaker 4: Mimsy turns ten tomorrow. 55 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:12,519 Speaker 1: By the way, Oh, happy early birthday. 56 00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:15,120 Speaker 4: I'm I'm like excited for her to have a birthday, 57 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:17,040 Speaker 4: but I'm also like, please stay as young as possible, 58 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:18,000 Speaker 4: as long as possible. 59 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:21,440 Speaker 2: Oh, you could just clone her, you know, it crosses 60 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:24,120 Speaker 2: my mind. It crosses my mind. She's like she is 61 00:02:24,160 --> 00:02:24,440 Speaker 2: the dog. 62 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:27,560 Speaker 4: I've always had very like a lot of anticipatory grief about, 63 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:28,679 Speaker 4: like even since she was a baby. 64 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:31,000 Speaker 2: I'm like, never die with the other two. 65 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:33,240 Speaker 4: I'm like, I love you, but you know, eventually the beer. 66 00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:35,760 Speaker 1: Yeah exactly. 67 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:40,680 Speaker 4: So Alexis wrote in and says, Dear Chelsea, my mom 68 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:42,679 Speaker 4: has been in a bit of a dilemma for quite 69 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:46,359 Speaker 4: some time. All of my mom's friends honestly suck their 70 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:49,320 Speaker 4: total drains, and she has met women like this over 71 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,720 Speaker 4: and over. It makes no sense because my mom is 72 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:55,679 Speaker 4: a total badass, super fun, outgoing, loyal, and funny as hell. 73 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:58,880 Speaker 4: I don't understand how crap women keep seeking out my 74 00:02:58,919 --> 00:03:02,760 Speaker 4: mother and befriending her. She's had friends become stalkers, single 75 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:05,880 Speaker 4: white female type situations, or just trauma dump on her. 76 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,519 Speaker 4: They never ask how she's doing. And Chelsea, it really 77 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:10,720 Speaker 4: pisses me off. I wish you guys were friends. I 78 00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:12,280 Speaker 4: would love to do a video call with my mom 79 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:14,960 Speaker 4: and gain advice on what to do moving forward. It 80 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:17,120 Speaker 4: makes me sad my mom's best friend and all of 81 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:19,640 Speaker 4: her friends are just a selfish af I have a 82 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:21,960 Speaker 4: lovely group of girlfriends myself, so it makes me sad 83 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:23,600 Speaker 4: that this is the hand my mom has been dealt. 84 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:27,239 Speaker 4: Please help, Alexis Hi, Alexis we have mom too? 85 00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:27,520 Speaker 1: Right? 86 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:29,680 Speaker 2: It is Shaka Hi. 87 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,120 Speaker 1: How are you good? 88 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:31,640 Speaker 5: How are you? 89 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:33,920 Speaker 1: I'm good? Thanks? Your mom is Shaka Khan? 90 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:35,360 Speaker 2: Yes she is. 91 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:38,640 Speaker 1: That's great. I love a mother daughter duo dynamic. That's 92 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 1: my favorite. 93 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:43,120 Speaker 4: And Shaka said they're best friends. She said, my daughter's 94 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:44,640 Speaker 4: my best friend. I think that's very sweet. 95 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:49,920 Speaker 1: Yes, you are here. I am hi, Shaka Khan? How 96 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,360 Speaker 1: are you good? How are you so? 97 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:53,720 Speaker 5: Nice to meet you. 98 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:56,120 Speaker 1: You're so cute. Look at this two cutie pies. 99 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:57,000 Speaker 2: I love it. 100 00:03:57,160 --> 00:04:00,880 Speaker 1: I love it. Your daughters, to all of your friends 101 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:02,360 Speaker 1: or assholes. 102 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:05,640 Speaker 5: They are, they've been pretty, they've been pretty crappy to 103 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:06,160 Speaker 5: be honest. 104 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:09,400 Speaker 1: Really, what do you think the problem? What do you think, alexis? 105 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 1: What do you think the problem is? 106 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:14,120 Speaker 6: I don't know if it's because like her personality is 107 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 6: so like magnetic in a way that people are jealous, 108 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,679 Speaker 6: kind of like maybe they don't know who they are, 109 00:04:20,880 --> 00:04:23,920 Speaker 6: so they just cling on to her. Yeah, the same 110 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:24,600 Speaker 6: way she is. 111 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, Well people are attracted to like happy, positive people, 112 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:28,880 Speaker 3: so that makes sense. 113 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:32,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it's a compliment, really, I know. 114 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:34,680 Speaker 5: And you know, And here's what I'll say. A lot 115 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:36,560 Speaker 5: of people say I should take it as a compliment, 116 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:39,480 Speaker 5: and I do one hundred percent. I do, But at 117 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,560 Speaker 5: some point it becomes violating. 118 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:43,800 Speaker 1: Give me some examples. 119 00:04:44,279 --> 00:04:47,000 Speaker 5: So I had one gal and I knew her, she 120 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:51,440 Speaker 5: was a family member by marriage, and she went crazy 121 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:54,320 Speaker 5: on me and like bought my car, would drive by 122 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:58,400 Speaker 5: my house in my car. I planned a trip to 123 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:01,520 Speaker 5: go to Tula, Mexico. She bought her entire family a 124 00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:05,320 Speaker 5: trip to Tulam, including a female. It was severe. She 125 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:08,279 Speaker 5: would drive by my house consistently. You know, I feared 126 00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:11,440 Speaker 5: going in my yard, so you know, at some point 127 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:15,040 Speaker 5: I am worried for my safety. 128 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,760 Speaker 3: To clarify something, did she buy the car from you 129 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:18,919 Speaker 3: or she bought the same. 130 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:22,159 Speaker 1: Model of car you have? No, she just bought and. 131 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:25,760 Speaker 5: She would leave me notes on what I can read 132 00:05:25,839 --> 00:05:29,239 Speaker 5: you one and it was pretty severe. She just said 133 00:05:29,680 --> 00:05:31,760 Speaker 5: because at some point I blocked her on every social 134 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,320 Speaker 5: media account, I'm like, okay, I need to distance myself. 135 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:38,240 Speaker 5: This is becoming unsafe. And then she started sending me 136 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:43,159 Speaker 5: messages via Pinterest. She would call my god and she 137 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:46,680 Speaker 5: would say things, you may have blocked me on every 138 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,800 Speaker 5: social media platform, but if you don't think that I 139 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:53,119 Speaker 5: know what you're doing, you're fucking delusional. I will spend 140 00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:56,840 Speaker 5: eternity plotting your just rewards. Ceunt. 141 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:00,000 Speaker 2: This doesn't sound like a friend. 142 00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:02,800 Speaker 1: This sounds like that's a different level. That's a stalker, 143 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:03,520 Speaker 1: psycho y. 144 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:06,520 Speaker 5: She wouldn't let me go. She wouldn't let me go 145 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:09,640 Speaker 5: like I tried to disconnect several times throughout our relationship, 146 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,800 Speaker 5: and she sunk her teeth in deeper to me. So 147 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:15,880 Speaker 5: you know at some point these women, I think that 148 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,719 Speaker 5: they do have a love for me. In the beginning, 149 00:06:18,760 --> 00:06:22,240 Speaker 5: I think that they want to find the strength that 150 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:25,360 Speaker 5: I maybe have. I'm pretty strong gal, and I'm very 151 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:28,160 Speaker 5: much an individual, and so I don't think that these 152 00:06:28,200 --> 00:06:31,200 Speaker 5: women are and they are seeking that. But at some 153 00:06:31,279 --> 00:06:35,040 Speaker 5: point it becomes I'm no longer talking to them, I'm 154 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 5: talking to me. I don't even know what to say 155 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:41,000 Speaker 5: next because they've taken the words like literally right out 156 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:41,640 Speaker 5: of my mouth. 157 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:45,120 Speaker 3: And is this situation because this is an extreme situation, 158 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:48,280 Speaker 3: this has happened to multiple friends of yours that they 159 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:51,280 Speaker 3: want to mimic your behavior and kind of emulate your 160 00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:51,960 Speaker 3: whole life. 161 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:55,000 Speaker 5: It is, it is, and it's it's become to the 162 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,520 Speaker 5: point now where when I meet a woman, I actually 163 00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:01,240 Speaker 5: will go right into that conversation to kind of feel. 164 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:02,760 Speaker 1: Out, Yeah, that's smart. 165 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:05,640 Speaker 5: If this is gonna happen again to me, I'm like, 166 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:09,160 Speaker 5: this cannot be happening again and again Like this, there 167 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:13,080 Speaker 5: is something that I'm maybe putting out there that I 168 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:15,600 Speaker 5: don't know. I don't know that attracting this kind of 169 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:17,360 Speaker 5: person over and over again, So. 170 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:18,880 Speaker 1: What do you say when you meet friends? 171 00:07:18,920 --> 00:07:19,160 Speaker 5: Now? 172 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:20,680 Speaker 1: Like how do you explain this? 173 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:22,400 Speaker 3: What do you say, like, Hey, listen, I get a 174 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,040 Speaker 3: lot a lot of my friends turn into stalkers. 175 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:25,640 Speaker 1: I have to make sure you're not fucking crazy. 176 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:30,200 Speaker 7: Pretty much, pretty much, maybe in a little gentler way, 177 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:33,960 Speaker 7: right right? Do I do just come right out and say, hey, 178 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,320 Speaker 7: you know what, I've had some issues in the past, 179 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:39,240 Speaker 7: you know, with women, And I don't necessarily, you know, hey, 180 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:42,400 Speaker 7: are you one of these women? But I almost have 181 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:45,120 Speaker 7: like a spidy sense for it now because it's happened 182 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:49,080 Speaker 7: so frequently, so I'm super hyper sensitive to it, which 183 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,480 Speaker 7: kind of deters me from wanting to move forward with 184 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:52,080 Speaker 7: any women. 185 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:56,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, I understand what you mean. I think you probably are. 186 00:07:56,480 --> 00:07:58,160 Speaker 1: First of all, do you trust. 187 00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:59,920 Speaker 3: Your judgment at this point to be able to kind 188 00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:03,000 Speaker 3: of suss out who is going to be like stable 189 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:04,400 Speaker 3: and who's going to be unstable? 190 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:07,920 Speaker 5: Absolutely. I'm fifty three now, so I feel like fifties 191 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:11,080 Speaker 5: are a whole new ball game. Yeah, for mind, and 192 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:13,880 Speaker 5: I do feel like I've got it pretty well dialed 193 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:17,520 Speaker 5: where I can feel out if I'm going to be 194 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:21,120 Speaker 5: a supply source to the right. So that's that's kind 195 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:23,240 Speaker 5: of where I'm at now. But I know I need 196 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,280 Speaker 5: women in my life. I know I need a good 197 00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:28,520 Speaker 5: group of women. I would love a good group of women, 198 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:29,200 Speaker 5: like a posse. 199 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:31,640 Speaker 3: You know, it feels like you should hang out with 200 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:33,640 Speaker 3: your daughter and her friends. They sound more normal. 201 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:35,000 Speaker 5: We'll be I do. 202 00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:37,760 Speaker 1: Okay, Well, that's good. Listen. I think you're on the 203 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:38,280 Speaker 1: right track. 204 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:41,360 Speaker 3: Like if identified the issue, you've made changes in how 205 00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 3: you're approaching your friendships. Your daughter's aware, you're on the 206 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:46,240 Speaker 3: same page. It's not like you and your daughter are 207 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:49,079 Speaker 3: in conflict on this matter where she's saying one thing 208 00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:52,199 Speaker 3: and you're saying that that doesn't happen. You're admitting it's true. 209 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:54,880 Speaker 3: It's a compliment that people are attracted to you. It's 210 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:58,479 Speaker 3: a compliment that people want to like mimic your lifestyle 211 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:00,400 Speaker 3: and emulate the way that you live. 212 00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:01,439 Speaker 1: That's a compliment. 213 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,520 Speaker 3: Obviously, you don't want people driving by your house and 214 00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,440 Speaker 3: copying everything you do. So it sounds like you're on 215 00:09:07,559 --> 00:09:09,560 Speaker 3: the case already. You just have to have a little 216 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:12,400 Speaker 3: bit more discernment about who you let into your circle. 217 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,119 Speaker 3: And that's great because you have to set up boundaries, 218 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,880 Speaker 3: and like you said, when you're in your fifties, those 219 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:20,600 Speaker 3: boundaries are much easier to set because it's not like 220 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:21,160 Speaker 3: an option. 221 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:22,520 Speaker 1: It's almost like a mandate. 222 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:24,559 Speaker 5: True true, very true, very true. 223 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,240 Speaker 3: So I feel like between the two of you, guys, 224 00:09:26,280 --> 00:09:28,240 Speaker 3: you're on the case already and you're not going to 225 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:32,679 Speaker 3: allow any more fruitcakes into your life. You know, like 226 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:34,560 Speaker 3: you have to be very clear at the beginning, at 227 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:36,840 Speaker 3: the outset which you just said, you were like, I'm 228 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:38,839 Speaker 3: not dealing with any dependance. 229 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:40,360 Speaker 1: I don't need any more dependence. 230 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:43,320 Speaker 3: I don't need anyone who's so interested in living my 231 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:46,160 Speaker 3: life that they want to actually live my life. 232 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:47,520 Speaker 1: You know. I'm looking for. 233 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:52,320 Speaker 3: Strong women that have strong boundaries of their own in place, 234 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:55,400 Speaker 3: And those are the only types of relationships I'm looking for. 235 00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:56,880 Speaker 5: Are they out there? 236 00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:57,440 Speaker 1: Yes? 237 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:01,439 Speaker 3: They are, of course they are. It's like discounting men. 238 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:04,679 Speaker 3: You can't discount all men. You can only discount most 239 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:08,520 Speaker 3: of them, you know what I mean? Yeah, like ninety percent. 240 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,840 Speaker 3: But no, there are women out there that are like that. 241 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:13,440 Speaker 1: You know there are. You've had normal friends. Look at 242 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,719 Speaker 1: your daughter, look at her friends. You're look at me. 243 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:18,360 Speaker 3: Like, I have normal friends. I don't have psychos like 244 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:19,199 Speaker 3: that in my life. 245 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:22,240 Speaker 5: I mean, I do have one girlfriend that I absolutely 246 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:25,120 Speaker 5: love her, name is Burnette, and she's been a solid 247 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,080 Speaker 5: rock for sure. I mean she's a little crazy too, 248 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:27,480 Speaker 5: but you know. 249 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:29,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's okay. A little crazy is fine. 250 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:30,559 Speaker 5: Cool crazy cool. 251 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,560 Speaker 1: And I just think, like, don't panic about it. 252 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:40,680 Speaker 3: It's not like you need a gaggle of girlfriends, like 253 00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:42,000 Speaker 3: you need five girlfriends right away. 254 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,240 Speaker 1: It's not a fucking emergency. 255 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,800 Speaker 5: I know, I know, but gosh, I just have had 256 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:48,920 Speaker 5: really no solids, you know, and so I at some 257 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:51,079 Speaker 5: point you just kind of lose some hope, I guess, 258 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:51,320 Speaker 5: I know. 259 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,360 Speaker 3: But it's like dating, you know what I mean, everyone 260 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,199 Speaker 3: loses hope dating. They go on a website and the 261 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:56,920 Speaker 3: like they go on five dates and they're like fucking 262 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:59,959 Speaker 3: forget it. You know, everyone's disgusting or everyone's a loser, 263 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:01,840 Speaker 3: or that everyone wants to split a check. Like you 264 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,400 Speaker 3: have to treat it like dating, like you're going to 265 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:06,240 Speaker 3: audition some new girlfriends in the next few months. There 266 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:08,640 Speaker 3: are places at sites where, I mean, if you really 267 00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:12,960 Speaker 3: want to go and like meet friends on like friend websites, 268 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,520 Speaker 3: you could do that, but I really don't think that's 269 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:17,560 Speaker 3: necessary for you. It's sound like you're desperate, right And no, 270 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:20,760 Speaker 3: by the way, let me just rephrase that. Anyone who's 271 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:23,160 Speaker 3: on a site to meet friends, well, that is a 272 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:26,600 Speaker 3: level tes friend. So sorry, I can't rephrase it. But 273 00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:28,760 Speaker 3: if you're on a dating site to meet guys, that 274 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:31,440 Speaker 3: is not desperate. I understand that, and I support that 275 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:34,240 Speaker 3: for all women. But if you're only in a situation 276 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:36,920 Speaker 3: where you have to meet people online, then yeah, that's 277 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,920 Speaker 3: like that's a different situation. You're not in that situation. 278 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,320 Speaker 4: So one thing that might be helpful too is, rather 279 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:46,520 Speaker 4: than going out for like individual women, if there's like 280 00:11:46,559 --> 00:11:48,760 Speaker 4: someone you know who has like say a book club 281 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,079 Speaker 4: or like a friend group already where they all kind 282 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:53,640 Speaker 4: of know each other and you can insert yourself, that 283 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:56,360 Speaker 4: might be a nice way to like, they've all got 284 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:58,360 Speaker 4: their stuff going on, they've all got their own lives 285 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:01,520 Speaker 4: and their own relationships. Kind of like sneak on in 286 00:12:01,559 --> 00:12:03,720 Speaker 4: there and have some extra friends and like see if 287 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:04,600 Speaker 4: there's somebody vibe with. 288 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,720 Speaker 5: I recently did do that, and I'm kind of notorious 289 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:11,120 Speaker 5: for calling people lovey, lovey or show people usually get 290 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,000 Speaker 5: a pet name from me. So we go out to 291 00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:15,280 Speaker 5: dinner and all of a sudden, all these girls at 292 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:17,400 Speaker 5: the table are calling each other lovey and I'm going, 293 00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:20,600 Speaker 5: what the hell's going on right now? So it's just weird, 294 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:22,199 Speaker 5: you know, it's kind of weird behavior. 295 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:23,320 Speaker 1: I don't know. 296 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:24,439 Speaker 5: I don't know what it is. 297 00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:26,720 Speaker 1: You know, maybe I listen. 298 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,600 Speaker 3: I am a strong personality, and I'm like, you know, 299 00:12:29,760 --> 00:12:33,720 Speaker 3: I have that vibe, right. I love to just latch 300 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:36,040 Speaker 3: onto other groups of girls, like I'm always on the 301 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:39,880 Speaker 3: periphery of lots of different friend groups because I don't 302 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:42,920 Speaker 3: like to be too enmeshed in groups of women, Like 303 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:46,080 Speaker 3: I have probably ten different groups of girlfriends, and I 304 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:48,520 Speaker 3: go in and out when I please. I don't you know, 305 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,800 Speaker 3: I'm not a jealous person, so I'm not worried that 306 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:52,920 Speaker 3: I'm not the center of the universe. But I like 307 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,240 Speaker 3: to be like I'll show up on a vacation, or 308 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:58,479 Speaker 3: I'll show up at you know, their Thursday night dinner 309 00:12:58,679 --> 00:13:00,560 Speaker 3: that they do every week, and then I show up. 310 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:02,920 Speaker 3: I like to be the kind of outsider of friend 311 00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:04,559 Speaker 3: groups because I like to float. 312 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:05,520 Speaker 5: Around me too. 313 00:13:05,679 --> 00:13:07,920 Speaker 1: So I think that's the attitude you should take. 314 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:11,000 Speaker 3: You should find groups like what Catherine suggested, whether that 315 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:13,720 Speaker 3: be a book club or whether you find existing groups 316 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:15,199 Speaker 3: to just kind of float in and out of it 317 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,560 Speaker 3: and if you see them, like you know, you can 318 00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:19,920 Speaker 3: you can gather enough information to know whether or not 319 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:21,640 Speaker 3: it's a group you want to revisit or not. 320 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:25,920 Speaker 5: For sure. Absolutely, that's absolutely right. Yes, yes, I agree 321 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:27,599 Speaker 5: with that. 322 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:30,359 Speaker 4: Says you're going to help her out with us. 323 00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:31,000 Speaker 1: Yeah. 324 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:32,800 Speaker 5: I think the universe knew I was gonna get some 325 00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:35,200 Speaker 5: dogshit women, and they gave me a daughter, you know. 326 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:38,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, well that's good. So weird women stalking other women? 327 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:41,000 Speaker 5: It is. And I was like, you know, if it 328 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:43,320 Speaker 5: was I it was a guy, I'm like, yeah, you know, 329 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:45,840 Speaker 5: I kind of wouldn't be like, oh right, this guy. 330 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:48,680 Speaker 5: But it's women driving by me. I'm like, what do 331 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:51,600 Speaker 5: you think you're gonna see me in my robe outside? 332 00:13:52,559 --> 00:13:55,640 Speaker 1: So weird word, I don't know. 333 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,679 Speaker 5: It's just it's very bizarre behavior. And I don't know 334 00:13:58,679 --> 00:14:00,360 Speaker 5: what to do with those women either, Like how do 335 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:01,320 Speaker 5: I manage that? 336 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:01,880 Speaker 1: I can't? 337 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:05,400 Speaker 5: You know, I feel anxiety. Am I gonna have to 338 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:06,760 Speaker 5: be ready to rumble? Yeah? 339 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:08,400 Speaker 4: I feel like you just have to ignore them unless 340 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:09,920 Speaker 4: it does get to the point with this other woman 341 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,520 Speaker 4: like that might be time for like a restraining order. 342 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:14,640 Speaker 1: Well, I mean it's just a very weird pattern. 343 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:18,720 Speaker 5: Like yeah, I mean, yeah, she's an administrator at a school. 344 00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:20,600 Speaker 1: What do you think, Alexis, what do you think this 345 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:21,520 Speaker 1: situation is? 346 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:26,320 Speaker 6: I again, I think it's just her, unfortunately meeting people 347 00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:28,840 Speaker 6: that don't know who they are, and so then they 348 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:31,640 Speaker 6: or they're unhappy in their lives and they see my 349 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:35,040 Speaker 6: mom and she's just so you know, her personality is 350 00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:35,520 Speaker 6: very big. 351 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,800 Speaker 5: We're kind of opposite that way. I'm a little more quiet. 352 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:42,160 Speaker 6: But I think they're just really like attracted to that, 353 00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:45,480 Speaker 6: and they don't they just cling on and want to 354 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:48,400 Speaker 6: do that. They start just like wearing the same clothes, 355 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,440 Speaker 6: doing their hair the same like all of a sudden, 356 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:53,240 Speaker 6: they've never done that before. And at first I thought 357 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:55,760 Speaker 6: it was a compliment. And then the more times I 358 00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:58,960 Speaker 6: noticed this is happening, I'm like, Okay, something is up, 359 00:14:59,040 --> 00:14:59,600 Speaker 6: Like this is. 360 00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:00,880 Speaker 5: Not normal behavior. 361 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:04,160 Speaker 2: Oh that's so strange. Yeah, some people are a little 362 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:04,560 Speaker 2: bit that way. 363 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,320 Speaker 4: Like I have one of those faces where people come 364 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:07,760 Speaker 4: up to me at the grocery store and like tell 365 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:08,720 Speaker 4: me their life story. 366 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:11,280 Speaker 2: So, I mean, some people just have like a certain 367 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:13,440 Speaker 2: vibe and it's not anything I don't think that you 368 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:14,840 Speaker 2: can control, you know. 369 00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:17,720 Speaker 5: I know, and I know and then I think, you know, 370 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:19,840 Speaker 5: do I need to be you know less, do I 371 00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:22,280 Speaker 5: need to like, you know, be I don't know. I 372 00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:24,640 Speaker 5: don't know. But at some point now in my fifties, though, 373 00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:26,880 Speaker 5: I will say I'm embracing who I am and I 374 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:30,560 Speaker 5: don't give two shits about what people are thinking or doing. 375 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,200 Speaker 1: I'm just saying, I mean, you're embracing who you are. 376 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:33,200 Speaker 1: You shouldn't change who you are. 377 00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:35,680 Speaker 3: You should just be like what we've already discussed, which 378 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,480 Speaker 3: is more discerning about letting people get close to you. 379 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:41,000 Speaker 3: You have to figure out who's crazy and who's not crazy, 380 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:44,280 Speaker 3: and then make those decisions. Don't start, don't go all 381 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:45,120 Speaker 3: in right away. 382 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:47,200 Speaker 5: Yeah, I agree, I do that. 383 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:47,840 Speaker 1: I do that. 384 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,960 Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, I love this person, and then three 385 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,160 Speaker 3: days later I'm like, never mind. 386 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:54,480 Speaker 4: I think you just have to detach a little bit 387 00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:58,080 Speaker 4: from what their expectations of the friendship are and like 388 00:15:58,120 --> 00:15:59,160 Speaker 4: if it doesn't. 389 00:15:58,920 --> 00:16:00,000 Speaker 2: Feel good for you, then it doesn't. 390 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:02,120 Speaker 1: It's not good, and you don't have to. 391 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,040 Speaker 2: Take that on like if they are feeling. 392 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,520 Speaker 1: No, no, no, just yeah, I think we've covered it. I 393 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:07,800 Speaker 1: think you guys got the message. 394 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:10,560 Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, all right, guys. 395 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:13,200 Speaker 1: Okay, okay, ladies. Thank you for calling in. 396 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:14,680 Speaker 5: Hey, thank you so much. 397 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:16,760 Speaker 4: Un thanks bye. 398 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,440 Speaker 3: Okay, well that's a wrap up. Our little minisod a 399 00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:23,000 Speaker 3: couple's counseling. Okay, well, well that's I don't know what 400 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:24,360 Speaker 3: to say now, goodbye, We'll. 401 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:24,880 Speaker 2: See you next time. 402 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:28,400 Speaker 1: Goodbye. So I added a couple of new dates. I'm 403 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:29,960 Speaker 1: not on tour yet, but I added a. 404 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:32,000 Speaker 3: Couple of dates just because I felt like we need 405 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,840 Speaker 3: a little bit more laughter and a little bit more 406 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:36,560 Speaker 3: medicine for the end of the year. And I was 407 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:38,480 Speaker 3: wrapping things up, but I thought, maybe let me do 408 00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:40,840 Speaker 3: a couple more. So I'm adding three more dates in 409 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:42,520 Speaker 3: addition to my Vegas residency. 410 00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:44,160 Speaker 1: I'm headlining the Rochester. 411 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:48,240 Speaker 3: Fringe Comedy Festival September thirteenth, and I will be in 412 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:49,680 Speaker 3: Napa on. 413 00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:52,640 Speaker 1: October third, So those will be my last. 414 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:55,280 Speaker 2: Dates of the year. Do you want advice from Chelsea? 415 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:59,080 Speaker 4: Right into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. Find 416 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:02,280 Speaker 4: full video episode of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching 417 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:06,119 Speaker 4: at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered 418 00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:09,880 Speaker 4: by Brad Dickert executive producer Katherine law And be sure 419 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:16,919 Speaker 4: to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot com.