1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,400 Speaker 1: Am I the a hole for refusing to let my 2 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:06,320 Speaker 1: mother in law make my toddler call her mama. I 3 00:00:06,559 --> 00:00:13,600 Speaker 1: call mother in law mama, Mama, Mama, Sama, call your grandma, mama, grandmama. 4 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,640 Speaker 1: I'm the mama. And this is again to answer the 5 00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:19,799 Speaker 1: question of how do you handle a bad mother in law? 6 00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:23,760 Speaker 1: So pure ordinary fifty nine says I hate to come 7 00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:26,520 Speaker 1: to Reddit with a personal martial issue, but I could 8 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:29,800 Speaker 1: use some reassurance that I'm not being wildly unreasonable here. 9 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:39,840 Speaker 1: My husband and I have a second OHI my husband 10 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:42,040 Speaker 1: and I have a seventeen month old son who is 11 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:45,040 Speaker 1: our first child and the first grandchild on both sides 12 00:00:45,080 --> 00:00:47,800 Speaker 1: of the family. My mother in law spent a lot 13 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:51,960 Speaker 1: of time thinking of her grandmother name and eventually decided 14 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:54,680 Speaker 1: on mamma. I didn't know that was a thing. I 15 00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:57,040 Speaker 1: will it kind of is my I call my my 16 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:02,680 Speaker 1: mom's mother Nana when they may. I don't know. I 17 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:04,520 Speaker 1: don't know if she ever, I don't know. I was 18 00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:07,840 Speaker 1: too young, yeah, because a child. But I think it 19 00:01:07,920 --> 00:01:10,920 Speaker 1: is the thing of like, oh, people like call me grammy, yeah, 20 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:13,600 Speaker 1: and were like call me pop pop. 21 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 2: I know I'm gonna come up with something wild. 22 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:20,000 Speaker 3: You have kids. 23 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:26,200 Speaker 1: Young Grandma coming coming, little grandma, call me little grandma. 24 00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:30,559 Speaker 1: This makes me uncomfortable as I am my son's mama. 25 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:33,360 Speaker 1: It feels like it's being taken from me, and I 26 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 1: don't want to share the title of mama with a grandparent. 27 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:39,160 Speaker 1: I've expressed to my husband several times since his mom 28 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:41,920 Speaker 1: chose his name that I'm uncomfortable with it, and his 29 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:46,760 Speaker 1: response has been unequivocally that I am being unreasonable and 30 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:47,880 Speaker 1: I have to get over it. 31 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:52,280 Speaker 2: Are you serious? Need to check them? 32 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:55,920 Speaker 1: So they need to check themselves before they wreck themselves, because. 33 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:59,520 Speaker 2: Real, yeah, this is no Have you seen that? 34 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:01,240 Speaker 1: Do you know TikTok? Because I always reference it and 35 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,200 Speaker 1: no one knows it, the one that's like there's the door, 36 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:06,160 Speaker 1: and it's like there's the door, bitch. Yeah. 37 00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:09,320 Speaker 2: Oh, for how much I'm on TikTok, I should know that. 38 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:10,360 Speaker 2: You can send it to me. 39 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:14,600 Speaker 1: Hopefully someone will know that reference one day, oh man. 40 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,640 Speaker 1: To further complicate the issue, our son has a pretty 41 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:22,040 Speaker 1: significant speech delay. He's not speaking at all, and his 42 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:25,120 Speaker 1: speech therapist mentioned this week that he needs consistency and 43 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:29,560 Speaker 1: calling his grandmother mama will be detrimental to his language development. 44 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:32,799 Speaker 1: It also further increases the importance of the word mama 45 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:35,160 Speaker 1: to me. When he finally says it to me, it 46 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:37,840 Speaker 1: will be such an incredible moment that signifies all the 47 00:02:37,919 --> 00:02:40,360 Speaker 1: long and hard work I put into helping him grow 48 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:42,600 Speaker 1: and developing his speech, A lot. 49 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 2: Of pressure on one word. You're just gonna point that. 50 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:49,800 Speaker 1: Out, Yeah, I mean, I guess. I mean even without honestly, 51 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:53,440 Speaker 1: even without all the stuff about the speech development and things, 52 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:54,640 Speaker 1: I think I would still be a little bit. 53 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:59,639 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd be like, no, I'm mama, I'm mama, I'm mama, mama. 54 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:03,520 Speaker 2: Know how, like couples joke around like are they gonna 55 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:06,080 Speaker 2: say mama or Papa first, you know? Or data? 56 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:10,240 Speaker 1: And so honestly, maybe the grandma is just at you 57 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:14,959 Speaker 1: know or odds? Yeah, improving the improving the odds of 58 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:18,040 Speaker 1: saying mama, because I think that dad tends to be 59 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:23,480 Speaker 1: the word that babies say more often statistically, So maybe 60 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:24,880 Speaker 1: if everyone was called mama. 61 00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:27,639 Speaker 2: Yeah. 62 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:30,960 Speaker 1: Even after bringing the speech concern up to my husband, 63 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:34,600 Speaker 1: he still thinks I'm unreasonable and I'm on my own 64 00:03:34,639 --> 00:03:36,400 Speaker 1: if I want to cause an issue with his mother. 65 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:39,640 Speaker 1: At this point, this is the most upsetting part that 66 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:43,560 Speaker 1: I've expressed my feelings repeatedly, and he completely dismisses them 67 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:46,520 Speaker 1: and doesn't have my back. I want to speak to 68 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:48,680 Speaker 1: my mother in law about it when I see her 69 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:51,720 Speaker 1: in person next, but I'm terrified of potentially blowing up 70 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:54,760 Speaker 1: our relationship and being left all on my own as 71 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:57,160 Speaker 1: the crazy daughter in law without my husband to back 72 00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:59,720 Speaker 1: me up. These husband's not backing up there. 73 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:07,240 Speaker 2: It's such an interesting dynamic, especially like sons with their moms. Yeah, 74 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,840 Speaker 2: you know, I wonder if it were reversed what that 75 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 2: would be like. But I think, yeah, like, how do 76 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:16,440 Speaker 2: you feel like your partner comes first, like. 77 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:19,640 Speaker 1: In terms of like a partner coming versus a parent 78 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:23,680 Speaker 1: a parent, I think the situation, Yeah, I feel like 79 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:27,039 Speaker 1: you decide who's in the right Yeah, and you're like, oh, 80 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,799 Speaker 1: not the parent, or they're overstepping or you know my parents, 81 00:04:30,839 --> 00:04:34,760 Speaker 1: my partner said something right rude. So yeah, I think 82 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:37,039 Speaker 1: it's situational. Yea, what do you think? 83 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:40,840 Speaker 2: No, it's a hard question because I think I'm very 84 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:42,960 Speaker 2: much like I'm with my partner through thick and thin, 85 00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:45,919 Speaker 2: but also my parents mean so much to me, So 86 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:48,320 Speaker 2: I think it is situational. And if my partner did 87 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:51,920 Speaker 2: anything to hurt my parents. I'd be like, Sayanara, yeah 88 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:52,760 Speaker 2: you're not, because. 89 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:54,320 Speaker 1: You know I also have a very close relationship with 90 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:59,039 Speaker 1: my parents. Yeah, it's like I yeah, situational, am I crazy? Here? 91 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:01,360 Speaker 1: For reference, his family is not Hispanic or from the 92 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:05,520 Speaker 1: southern US or anywhere similar where a grandparent mama is 93 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 1: more common and slash accepted. He called one of his 94 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,800 Speaker 1: grandparents mama. It must have not bothered my mother in law, 95 00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:13,880 Speaker 1: which is great for her. But obviously we are different 96 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:16,080 Speaker 1: people and I have my own feelings on the matter. 97 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:20,760 Speaker 1: I also am already in therapy for my people pleasing tendencies, 98 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:24,839 Speaker 1: and we have couples therapy sessions as well. Oh wow, glad. 99 00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,839 Speaker 1: Yeah that's good. That's good. Yeah, we want to because 100 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:31,280 Speaker 1: he's not he's fallen short. Yeah, there is an edit 101 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:34,520 Speaker 1: and an update, or the edit is basically the update. Okay, 102 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:37,039 Speaker 1: well there's two updates then really Yeah, there's an update. 103 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:38,760 Speaker 4: Oh he can do the edit. Oh that's what. 104 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:40,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Okay, go 105 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:40,560 Speaker 1: for it. 106 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:41,120 Speaker 5: Edit. 107 00:05:42,839 --> 00:05:44,880 Speaker 1: Thanks for the replies in giving me the courage to 108 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:47,320 Speaker 1: have this combo with my mother in law. Confrontation is 109 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:49,640 Speaker 1: so hard for me. But I'm going to do my best. 110 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,599 Speaker 1: A relationship with my mother in law is otherwise great 111 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:54,960 Speaker 1: and I love her a lot. She's not the overbearing 112 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:58,480 Speaker 1: type at all, so this is totally out of left field. Yes, 113 00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:02,240 Speaker 1: she wants it pronounced like regular mama, not mama or 114 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:05,680 Speaker 1: mem I love me, mo me that's more. Yeah, that's 115 00:06:05,680 --> 00:06:06,720 Speaker 1: a typical grandma name. 116 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:07,679 Speaker 2: Oh so cute. 117 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 1: I have overheard her babbling to my son and explicitly 118 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:15,919 Speaker 1: saying I want him to say my name first. Ooh eh. 119 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:20,000 Speaker 1: She's bought Mama apparel and Mama jewelry and other such 120 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:22,919 Speaker 1: things that I have thought are clearly meant for new mothers. 121 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:24,279 Speaker 2: Oh no, yikes. 122 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:28,119 Speaker 1: It's overall wildly inappropriate in my opinion, and I'm so 123 00:06:28,279 --> 00:06:30,760 Speaker 1: confused where this is coming from. But I will set 124 00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:36,080 Speaker 1: the boundary that this isn't okay. The larger issue is 125 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:38,479 Speaker 1: that this is just another instance in a marriage where 126 00:06:38,520 --> 00:06:41,640 Speaker 1: I don't feel my feelings are respected. It's exactly what 127 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:44,320 Speaker 1: I'm in therapy for, learning to build my confidence and 128 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:47,359 Speaker 1: self esteem and how to stand up for myself. My 129 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:50,080 Speaker 1: therapist agrees with me that this is a reasonable boundary, 130 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:52,680 Speaker 1: by the way, but I entirely shut down the idea 131 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:54,960 Speaker 1: of confronting mother in law at the time because I 132 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,920 Speaker 1: was too scared. I've made a lot of progress since then, though, 133 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:01,520 Speaker 1: and feel more ready now. Getting confirmation here that I'm 134 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,760 Speaker 1: not crazy gives me the last push of confidence I needed. 135 00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,800 Speaker 1: But I'm really sad that my husband doesn't see it 136 00:07:07,839 --> 00:07:10,960 Speaker 1: this way at all. I want a life partner who 137 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:15,360 Speaker 1: is my cheerleader and supporter, uh, who is proud of 138 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:18,760 Speaker 1: me for making these changes and setting boundaries for the 139 00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:21,320 Speaker 1: first time in my life, And it hurts that I 140 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:24,440 Speaker 1: don't have Piping this all out is help clarify why 141 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:26,400 Speaker 1: I feel the way I do, and I'll be talking 142 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:28,760 Speaker 1: some more with my husband before the combo with my 143 00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:31,360 Speaker 1: mother in law. I may show them the comments here 144 00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:35,280 Speaker 1: if I have to thank you for confirming I'm not crazy. 145 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:40,600 Speaker 1: And there are some comments and an update, but let's 146 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:41,120 Speaker 1: pause here. 147 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:45,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, my lord, yeah, what is up? 148 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:45,920 Speaker 5: King? 149 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:49,720 Speaker 1: Uh deadly cat says mother in law. Is Delulu Opie stand. 150 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:52,640 Speaker 2: Guard A real very true, very true. Yeah, this is 151 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:56,720 Speaker 2: my worst nightmare. Is like marrying someone and then realizing 152 00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:59,520 Speaker 2: you're not on the same page about these things. 153 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:04,680 Speaker 1: Yeah like what yeah? Yeah, and this has been like 154 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:07,400 Speaker 1: these are like This is even like a smaller because 155 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,240 Speaker 1: we were talking about other things where you should be 156 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:11,720 Speaker 1: immediately on the same page of like religion, wanting to 157 00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,680 Speaker 1: have kids, but this is such a minute thing of 158 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:17,920 Speaker 1: like what is grandma gonna call herself? That I don't 159 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:19,120 Speaker 1: even think to bring up. 160 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:24,320 Speaker 2: And it's so weird too, because I feel like, don't 161 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:27,800 Speaker 2: get me wrong, like I know, the grandma or grandparent 162 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:31,280 Speaker 2: grandchild relationship is an important one, yeah, but that's not 163 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:35,560 Speaker 2: your kid, no exactly, And again I'm not you know, 164 00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:37,240 Speaker 2: they're important. 165 00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:41,040 Speaker 1: But it's important, but it shouldn't override the parent child relationship. 166 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:44,120 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, And it seems like she's trying to do that, 167 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,520 Speaker 1: And Sarah Badoff says he liked that she was a pushover, 168 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:48,880 Speaker 1: which I think is a good point because she's saying, 169 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:51,560 Speaker 1: I would have thought that, you know, my partner would 170 00:08:51,559 --> 00:08:53,600 Speaker 1: have encouraged me to speak up for myself, right, But 171 00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:56,680 Speaker 1: it seems like maybe maybe he's expecting her to just 172 00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:59,480 Speaker 1: take it, and now that she's standing up for himself, 173 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:02,959 Speaker 1: he's kind he's just trying to like yashlighter a little bit, like, yeah, 174 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:03,560 Speaker 1: you're crazy. 175 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:06,120 Speaker 2: I would have been like, okay, then you baby, you 176 00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:07,479 Speaker 2: call me grandma. 177 00:09:08,679 --> 00:09:14,320 Speaker 1: I have grandma call me me mo oh my god, 178 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:15,320 Speaker 1: switch it up on her? 179 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:16,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, switch it up. 180 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:16,880 Speaker 4: Yeah. 181 00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:21,480 Speaker 1: Yeah. Suspicious Thoughts says whenever I hear these crazy mother 182 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,560 Speaker 1: in law stories, I'm so thankful I have such a 183 00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:24,520 Speaker 1: wonderful mother in law. 184 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:28,199 Speaker 2: I'm happy for you, happy for you. What do you 185 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:30,480 Speaker 2: think the ratio is of like terrible mother? 186 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:33,880 Speaker 1: Do you like your mother in law or not? 187 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:35,880 Speaker 2: Yeah? 188 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:39,160 Speaker 1: Emory King says, yeah, the husband is the problem right now. 189 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:42,360 Speaker 1: Even if he disagrees, he is immediately dismissive instead of 190 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:44,760 Speaker 1: talking it out. For example, he might not see it 191 00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 1: as an issue since he called his grandma mama. That 192 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:50,360 Speaker 1: is true, right, which I still think that you should 193 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:54,280 Speaker 1: be supporting his partner. Yes, but yeah, maybe he's just 194 00:09:54,320 --> 00:10:01,400 Speaker 1: like Wells tradition. Yeah yeah, mm which you so we got? 195 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:01,760 Speaker 4: Uh? 196 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:02,480 Speaker 1: We have an update. 197 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:06,560 Speaker 5: Fifty to fifty basically fifty yes, forty five percent No. 198 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:10,360 Speaker 1: I'm sorry for the forty percent of you don't have 199 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,440 Speaker 1: a good relationship with. That is so wild to me 200 00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:18,280 Speaker 1: that you won't what like not having a good Yeah, 201 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:21,120 Speaker 1: but it makes sense again, you can't choose. You can't 202 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:25,240 Speaker 1: choose your mother in law choose. It's a bummer in law. 203 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:28,760 Speaker 1: That's what I'll tell you, bummer, And that was great. 204 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:30,800 Speaker 4: Give it up in law. 205 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,880 Speaker 1: Josephine Medola requee if mother in law wanted to be 206 00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:40,640 Speaker 1: called mama, she could marry her son. Thanks. Hello, Well 207 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,960 Speaker 1: well it seems like yeah, they have a better relationship 208 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:47,200 Speaker 1: than the fiance and ope. But let's get into these updates. 209 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,840 Speaker 1: Let's see if they stood up. 210 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,840 Speaker 2: She said she was ready and working on it. She's 211 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 2: working on this with the therapy's for a girl. 212 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:59,200 Speaker 4: I actually to see the mother in law in therapy, please, yeah, please, 213 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:00,920 Speaker 4: like why do you have this? 214 00:11:01,559 --> 00:11:04,679 Speaker 2: But but maybe it is that thing where like she 215 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:08,480 Speaker 2: really doesn't understand the why it would mean something. 216 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:11,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know which I think you just have to 217 00:11:11,559 --> 00:11:13,400 Speaker 1: confront her and be sorry that's not happening. 218 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:14,160 Speaker 2: Yeah. 219 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:18,760 Speaker 1: Comments Automatic Gazelle seventy four says, First, you're not being crazy. 220 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:23,000 Speaker 1: The professional speech therapist advised against it. Have you told 221 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:26,080 Speaker 1: your mother in law what is recommended? Ranny is not mama, 222 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:31,360 Speaker 1: You are mama Mama. She is being unreasonable. You mentioned 223 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:34,080 Speaker 1: you are in therapy for people pleasing tendencies. Time to 224 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:36,360 Speaker 1: put some of what you have learned to work. I'm 225 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:39,839 Speaker 1: to tell the marriage counselor your husband is no backbone 226 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:44,520 Speaker 1: with his mom. So true. Te nanny says, mother in 227 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:47,440 Speaker 1: laws don't get a choose mama as their name against 228 00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:50,959 Speaker 1: the mother's wishes, and weak husbands should not be allowed. 229 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:52,440 Speaker 2: No, we're not allowed here. 230 00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:56,199 Speaker 1: I'll be strong. If he doesn't get his act together 231 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:59,160 Speaker 1: and rain her in, she will continue to overstep and 232 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:02,800 Speaker 1: he will continue to let her. You're not overreacting. This 233 00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:05,760 Speaker 1: is the hill I would die on. Stand up for 234 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:09,440 Speaker 1: yourself firmly. This is unacceptable. I will not allow it. 235 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:12,360 Speaker 1: You fix it, or I will, but I have to 236 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:14,000 Speaker 1: do it. You won't like how I do it. That 237 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:17,960 Speaker 1: commentar was like, here's the script. Yeah, the problem with 238 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:21,200 Speaker 1: people pleasing is is everyone gets to be happy except you. 239 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:23,840 Speaker 1: No one cares if you light yourself on fire to 240 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:26,480 Speaker 1: keep them warm, if your therapist doesn't back you up, 241 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:27,680 Speaker 1: and a new one. 242 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:30,480 Speaker 4: Damn, damn. 243 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:34,880 Speaker 1: The commenter is really stand I know. But there is 244 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 1: an update five months later, six and a half months later, 245 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:41,680 Speaker 1: see if anything, How. 246 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:43,520 Speaker 2: Do you wait that long to confront something? 247 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:45,720 Speaker 1: Well maybe she might have confronted it and then just 248 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:46,840 Speaker 1: forgot that she was ready. 249 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:47,680 Speaker 2: Forgot about us. 250 00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:54,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, forgot about Rude Bosick July. First, this is recent 251 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:58,000 Speaker 1: I posted last year about my mother in law choosing 252 00:12:58,080 --> 00:13:02,559 Speaker 1: Mama as their grandmother name. How wildly inappropriate I find it, 253 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:05,640 Speaker 1: and how my husband thinks I'm overreacting and doesn't have 254 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:09,120 Speaker 1: my back. He eventually told her that she needed to 255 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,840 Speaker 1: choose a new name, as I am Mama in my 256 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:18,600 Speaker 1: son's speech therapy sessions. Finally, finally, finally, and their solution 257 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:24,160 Speaker 1: is that her name is now Mama Joe. 258 00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:25,959 Speaker 2: Is that a fair compromise? 259 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:31,760 Speaker 1: Is it saying something mama Joe? It's still it's still mama. 260 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:37,760 Speaker 2: I don't think that's a compromise, but whatever. 261 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:39,160 Speaker 1: I have overheard her say, I want him to say 262 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:41,600 Speaker 1: my name first. I don't want to give up Mama 263 00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:43,640 Speaker 1: because he's gonna say that before any other name. 264 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:45,360 Speaker 2: Yeah. 265 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:50,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like I'm living in crazy town and 266 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:53,040 Speaker 1: I'm going insane. This new name is literally not any 267 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:57,640 Speaker 1: different whatsoever, especially considering the justification of why she wants 268 00:13:57,640 --> 00:14:00,760 Speaker 1: to be Mama so badly. When my top butler finally 269 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:03,680 Speaker 1: does say mama, he's two, but speech delayed and can't 270 00:14:03,679 --> 00:14:06,000 Speaker 1: make the m sound yet, it's going to be for me, 271 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:10,400 Speaker 1: his mother and me exclusively. I've given up trying to 272 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,200 Speaker 1: convince my husband to get on my side, so he's 273 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:15,880 Speaker 1: still not even still not help me. I'm going to 274 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:17,880 Speaker 1: speak to my mother in law directly next time I 275 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:19,600 Speaker 1: see her in person, but it's going to be a 276 00:14:19,600 --> 00:14:22,640 Speaker 1: big blow up, and I'm really upset. My husband still 277 00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:26,400 Speaker 1: cannot see why my feelings are hurt by this. I think, 278 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:29,120 Speaker 1: more than anything else, this has become a massive marriage 279 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:32,840 Speaker 1: issue between us. He has a habit of often invalidating 280 00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:36,360 Speaker 1: my feelings and telling me I'm overreacting, and to be fair, 281 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,920 Speaker 1: I am a very sensitive person, but this situation has 282 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,560 Speaker 1: proven to me that even if I'm being the most 283 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:46,680 Speaker 1: reasonable person in the world, he still will consider it overreacting. 284 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:51,400 Speaker 1: I finally, I'll finally stand up to my mother in 285 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:54,120 Speaker 1: law myself, but I just wish my husband had my back. 286 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:59,000 Speaker 1: And there is an edit and a couple relevant comments 287 00:14:59,040 --> 00:14:59,880 Speaker 1: to finish this off. 288 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:02,360 Speaker 2: They need a new couples therapist, that's what they do. 289 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:05,880 Speaker 1: They do. They need someone who's gonna that this husband 290 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:09,800 Speaker 1: straight mm hmm, yeah, because he sucks. He does suck. 291 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:13,320 Speaker 2: I think all of these kind of husband fiancees are 292 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:14,560 Speaker 2: just kind of suck. 293 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:17,680 Speaker 1: You're useless, they're not doing anything. No, what are you 294 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:18,120 Speaker 1: there for? 295 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:19,560 Speaker 2: What are you there for? 296 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,000 Speaker 4: And opening jars. 297 00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:23,960 Speaker 1: I can open my own jars man, put it under 298 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:28,240 Speaker 1: hot water. Let's go easy, just Bill bang it. You 299 00:15:28,240 --> 00:15:32,000 Speaker 1: can bang it. There's so many ways. Sorry, an actual 300 00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:36,440 Speaker 1: update and an end to the saga. Mama Joe is 301 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:41,800 Speaker 1: now Nana. Let's give it up finally. Gosh, that's all 302 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:48,000 Speaker 1: I wanted, Not Mama Mama Joe, Bana Nana. 303 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:50,400 Speaker 2: My friend consonant. 304 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:53,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's actually my my Nana's birthday was yesterday, but 305 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:59,120 Speaker 1: her birthday is July twelve, but it's like Australian birthday. Maths, 306 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:01,880 Speaker 1: it's America. It's her American birthday. 307 00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:03,840 Speaker 2: But American birthday. Uh. 308 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:07,640 Speaker 1: And I called her before my mom did yesterday. Bag 309 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,400 Speaker 1: Yeah did you call her before? 310 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:11,040 Speaker 2: Sam? 311 00:16:11,160 --> 00:16:11,520 Speaker 1: Yeah? 312 00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:13,160 Speaker 2: Favorite, Yeah, you're the favorite. 313 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:13,400 Speaker 4: I know. 314 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,000 Speaker 1: I called her and she was like, your mom hasn't 315 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:15,480 Speaker 1: even called me? 316 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:20,040 Speaker 2: Love it? Yes, extra Christmas present. 317 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:24,200 Speaker 1: My husband messaged her saying the speech therapist says she 318 00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:27,080 Speaker 1: needs to pick a new name. I followed up with 319 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:29,080 Speaker 1: a video chat saying that it's not really about the 320 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:33,960 Speaker 1: speech therapy, it's about me and how I feel about it. Yes, Yes, 321 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:35,960 Speaker 1: I think that is what was needed because she was 322 00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:37,360 Speaker 1: kind of hiding behind. 323 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:38,920 Speaker 2: She was scooting around the bush. 324 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:42,200 Speaker 1: Around the bush, and you need to beat the bush. 325 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:45,760 Speaker 1: Quite frankly, I followed up with a video chat saying 326 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:48,200 Speaker 1: that it's not really about the speech therapy, it's about 327 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,520 Speaker 1: me and how I feel about it, and she was 328 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:54,920 Speaker 1: totally whoa Wow. All it took was communication. 329 00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:57,440 Speaker 2: Who would have thought? What thought? 330 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:00,920 Speaker 1: So problem finally solved. It just took me two years 331 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:01,920 Speaker 1: to grow a spine. 332 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:05,040 Speaker 2: That's the real problem, girl. Your people pleasing tendency, yeah, 333 00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:06,760 Speaker 2: are legit. 334 00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:09,879 Speaker 1: Yeah. After learning that, all it took was just asking 335 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:11,040 Speaker 1: her to not do it. 336 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,240 Speaker 2: Yeah. 337 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:16,000 Speaker 1: As far as the comments calling for divorce, blaming me 338 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:19,440 Speaker 1: for being in an awful marriage, et cetera, Yes, I'm 339 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:23,639 Speaker 1: aware of my massive self esteem issues. Thank you for 340 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:26,560 Speaker 1: lighting a fire under my butt to at least resolve this. Finally, 341 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,879 Speaker 1: I'm in a lot of therapy to undo my people 342 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:32,720 Speaker 1: pleasing personality. I'm a major work in progress. We all 343 00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,960 Speaker 1: are so true. We're in marriage therapy to navigate the 344 00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:38,240 Speaker 1: issues that have come up after fifteen years of me 345 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:41,439 Speaker 1: sweeping my feelings under the rug. This is hard, but 346 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:44,879 Speaker 1: I'm trying my best and some relevant comments to finish 347 00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:48,360 Speaker 1: this off. Ro four eight nine says, that's crazy. Makes 348 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,600 Speaker 1: me think you both might be able to unpack how 349 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:54,560 Speaker 1: this mom's narcissism impacts how he reacts to you. Does 350 00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:58,240 Speaker 1: his mom diminish his feelings? Opie says, now that you 351 00:17:58,320 --> 00:18:01,240 Speaker 1: mention it, I'm immediately reminded the period of time when 352 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:02,960 Speaker 1: we lived with my in laws, and the way my 353 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:06,119 Speaker 1: mother in law spoke to his sister during arguments was 354 00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:09,520 Speaker 1: nearly verbatim the same way he diminishes my feelings. 355 00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:12,840 Speaker 2: I mean, it's learned, you know, example doesn't fall very far, 356 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:16,600 Speaker 2: and it's it's wild how the learned behavior. 357 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,879 Speaker 1: From your parents pick up for me. Yeah, it was 358 00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:20,920 Speaker 1: a huge light bulb moment for me at the time 359 00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,600 Speaker 1: when I realized he was just copying what was modeled 360 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:26,160 Speaker 1: to him, and I've totally forgotten about it until now. 361 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:28,959 Speaker 1: I can't think of a single time he's ever had 362 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,520 Speaker 1: an issue personally with his mom in the fifteen years 363 00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:34,480 Speaker 1: we've been together. But he also never talks about his 364 00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:38,120 Speaker 1: feelings and keeps everything inside, so that's another problem in 365 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,200 Speaker 1: and of itself. Row four eight nine says, so he's 366 00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:44,240 Speaker 1: the golden child, and that's probably a different dynamic to 367 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:47,160 Speaker 1: work through. Opie says, you may be onto something here. 368 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:51,160 Speaker 1: His brother has also recently, as an adult, had arguments 369 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,680 Speaker 1: with his mother so bad that he went no contact 370 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:56,159 Speaker 1: with my in laws for a it. And again that 371 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:58,960 Speaker 1: is to answer the question of how do you deal 372 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:01,440 Speaker 1: with that mother in law? And I think the takeaway 373 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:02,360 Speaker 1: from this was talk. 374 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:05,280 Speaker 2: To her after two years, Yeah, after two years, just 375 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:07,320 Speaker 2: way two years, feel it out, yeah, feel it out, 376 00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:09,679 Speaker 2: and then have the conversation were over and then talking. 377 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:12,480 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah yeah, and then we have it. 378 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,280 Speaker 2: There, we have it. And also just like, be very 379 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:16,600 Speaker 2: careful about who you marry. 380 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:20,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, it's just people. I know this is crazy, 381 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:24,560 Speaker 1: but be very careful about marri It's a lifetime commitment. 382 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:30,560 Speaker 2: Yah, weird these days. 383 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:34,040 Speaker 1: Rarely occasionally it's a lifetime commitment. 384 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:35,600 Speaker 3: Yeah. 385 00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:38,520 Speaker 1: But kay ya, Kimora says, op is making strides and 386 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,880 Speaker 1: I'm proud of that. Me too, man, me too. 387 00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:42,240 Speaker 2: Very true. 388 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,560 Speaker 4: This is an episode from deep within the archives. Time 389 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:48,600 Speaker 4: for okop relas. 390 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:52,879 Speaker 5: My wife had a medical emergency and I abandoned her 391 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:55,080 Speaker 5: when she needed me. But I have an explanation. 392 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:58,760 Speaker 4: That explanation better be bulletproof or you're going to get 393 00:19:58,760 --> 00:20:00,040 Speaker 4: a bullet between those eyes. 394 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:02,639 Speaker 5: He can't explain, Samuel. 395 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:05,560 Speaker 4: Really, how do you explain this? I honestly, I would 396 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:08,760 Speaker 4: love to know, because that sounds like I get out 397 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:10,840 Speaker 4: of jail free card if you're ever in trouble in 398 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,440 Speaker 4: your relationship. Just kidding. You should never lie, so don't do. 399 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,000 Speaker 3: It, Sam, There's only one way to find out. 400 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,000 Speaker 4: Please indulge me, Johnny boy. 401 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:17,800 Speaker 3: Let's see what they got. 402 00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:20,480 Speaker 5: So my best friend thirty one Mail and I twenty 403 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,600 Speaker 5: seven Mail have a tradition of taking a yearly weekend 404 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:27,640 Speaker 5: trip together that is phone free boys trip. But bye boys, 405 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:32,520 Speaker 5: no phone, no phones, no ladies, no problem. We've been 406 00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:35,719 Speaker 5: doing this for a decade now. These weekend trips consist 407 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,960 Speaker 5: of us staying in a suite and exploring the city, 408 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:42,480 Speaker 5: not traversing the wilderness. So it's not like we're completely disconnected. Still, 409 00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,600 Speaker 5: we like to keep one on hand for navigation. Still, 410 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:47,840 Speaker 5: we do like to have a phone on hand for 411 00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:51,000 Speaker 5: navigation and emergency purposes, and it would usually be a 412 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:53,080 Speaker 5: friend's phone that we brought along with us. 413 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,160 Speaker 4: Oh, so they don't bring their own phones, they bring 414 00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,240 Speaker 4: a friend. That's how disconnected they want to be. 415 00:20:57,240 --> 00:20:59,439 Speaker 5: Yeah, they literally just grab one of their friends, like 416 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,520 Speaker 5: you're our phone, You're our phone, lackey. 417 00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:05,960 Speaker 4: I feel like they shared instad a phone specifically for 418 00:21:06,119 --> 00:21:09,520 Speaker 4: this trip. And also, this is a deep bronze. I 419 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:12,480 Speaker 4: love it. I love it. I'm here for it. Oh yeah, 420 00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:17,320 Speaker 4: maybe it's Broke Back Mountain Part two. Phones Edition, No 421 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:20,920 Speaker 4: calls allowed, No calls to the wives at home, because 422 00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:23,160 Speaker 4: we're doing dirty business of those mountains. 423 00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,520 Speaker 5: Now. My friend and I left for our trip this 424 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:29,439 Speaker 5: year two fridays ago to make use of the longer weekend. 425 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,640 Speaker 5: This was the first time that I've gone on one 426 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:34,400 Speaker 5: of these trips since my wife and I moved in together, 427 00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:36,399 Speaker 5: got engaged, and got married. 428 00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:39,640 Speaker 3: However, we have been dating for the last two years worth. 429 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:42,199 Speaker 5: Of trips twenty twenty one and twenty twenty two, and 430 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:45,000 Speaker 5: she seemed just fine during those trips. 431 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:47,560 Speaker 4: She was fine, you know. And the boys we got 432 00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:51,919 Speaker 4: our decade Laune edition of just running off and getting 433 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:54,000 Speaker 4: turned on in the mountains. 434 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:55,720 Speaker 3: Do not disturb all over me. 435 00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:59,480 Speaker 5: Now. I understand that there are different expectations once you 436 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:03,200 Speaker 5: get married, but I didn't expect for a complete one 437 00:22:03,359 --> 00:22:04,800 Speaker 5: eighty in behavior. 438 00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:07,600 Speaker 4: You have to like prep your significant other if you're 439 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:10,000 Speaker 4: going like no contact, like I went like somewhat no 440 00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:13,040 Speaker 4: contact for two weeks in Patagonia, but like I prepped 441 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,280 Speaker 4: Ariana and I was like, hey, you know I'm gonna 442 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:17,359 Speaker 4: be going on this trip, Like, don't worry about me. 443 00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:19,399 Speaker 4: I'm not dying. I still love you. And then you 444 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:25,000 Speaker 4: could even use Apple shortcuts to schedule text throughout your time. 445 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,679 Speaker 5: So like as an auto response or you know how you. 446 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:34,040 Speaker 4: Like. Yeah, it's almost like you're setting virtual letters. 447 00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,560 Speaker 5: That's that's such a life act until we get chat 448 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:38,639 Speaker 5: GPT to just completely answer everything. 449 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:42,440 Speaker 4: Yeah, CHATDVT. Can you be my girlfriend's virtual boyfriend? Yeah? 450 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:42,960 Speaker 4: Can you? 451 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:44,919 Speaker 3: Can you be the boyfriend that I could never be? 452 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:46,200 Speaker 4: Yeah? 453 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:50,240 Speaker 5: So my wife all but demanded I take my phone 454 00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:52,920 Speaker 5: as well in case she needed to get a hold 455 00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:56,280 Speaker 5: of me, despite her having the friend's number, who's coming 456 00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:58,479 Speaker 5: along with I let her know that I had arrived, 457 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:02,040 Speaker 5: and immediately after that she was texting me asking me, 458 00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:04,600 Speaker 5: what's it going, what's going on over there? 459 00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,560 Speaker 4: In the first two boys trips, she was totally fine. 460 00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:09,280 Speaker 3: It seemed like there was no issues. 461 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:12,439 Speaker 4: I feel like something changed in the relationship. I don't know, 462 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:14,960 Speaker 4: maybe she's suspecially like that. 463 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:18,679 Speaker 5: Maybe she's suspecially Yeah, there's definitely more than what's I 464 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:20,720 Speaker 5: think being revealed at this point. 465 00:23:20,520 --> 00:23:24,520 Speaker 4: As is uh usually the case with any one sided 466 00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:25,560 Speaker 4: Reddit story. 467 00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:29,280 Speaker 5: Now, I eventually muted our text conversation because I was 468 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,800 Speaker 5: so sick of the phone buzzing all the time. 469 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:33,639 Speaker 4: You can't mute the girlfriend. 470 00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:38,480 Speaker 5: Oh man, I had to mute those pesky peesky notifications. 471 00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:40,359 Speaker 3: They were blocking my bro time. 472 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:43,640 Speaker 4: Bro. Yeah, yeah, my wife is being such My girlfriend 473 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:46,000 Speaker 4: is being such a major cock block Right now, I'm 474 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:49,399 Speaker 4: trying to slob my friend's knob right here in the wilderness, 475 00:23:49,560 --> 00:23:53,360 Speaker 4: trying to pitch you know what I'm talking about, friendship? Yeah, yeah, 476 00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:54,600 Speaker 4: the tent of friendship. 477 00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:56,960 Speaker 5: Then she called me a few hours later and asked 478 00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:00,720 Speaker 5: why I wasn't responding to her text. I reiterated that 479 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:04,320 Speaker 5: this was supposed to be a no phone weekend, and 480 00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:07,600 Speaker 5: I kept the call short despite her trying. 481 00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:09,400 Speaker 3: To drag out the conversation. 482 00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:12,960 Speaker 4: Oh man, the guy's making you fatal flaw. You have 483 00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:16,840 Speaker 4: to do the pre trip girlfriend pregame where it's like, yes, baby, 484 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,600 Speaker 4: I love you like you gotta do it you Hey, 485 00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:21,520 Speaker 4: It's fine to go. No contact, but you kind of 486 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,320 Speaker 4: like just have to communicate to your partner a little 487 00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:25,600 Speaker 4: bit more maybe than this guy is doing. 488 00:24:26,040 --> 00:24:29,560 Speaker 5: And don't put it on you man, Oh god, you know, 489 00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:32,439 Speaker 5: just just just hit her with the minute before you 490 00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:34,040 Speaker 5: turn off your phone for ten days. 491 00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:37,600 Speaker 3: You're just like be gone with either k by we 492 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:38,200 Speaker 3: need to talk. 493 00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:40,720 Speaker 4: Yeah, Hey, sorry, I gotta turn off on time, but 494 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,119 Speaker 4: we need to talk when I come back. 495 00:24:43,320 --> 00:24:43,560 Speaker 3: Yeah. 496 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,199 Speaker 5: What's even better is like, don't don't be like we 497 00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:48,200 Speaker 5: gotta talk. Phone is gonna be off for ten days, 498 00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,159 Speaker 5: just like we gotta talk dot dot dot and the 499 00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:52,359 Speaker 5: phone is just that turn off is gone. 500 00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:56,440 Speaker 4: Man. Yes, we're giving the best relationship advice right now, dude. 501 00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:58,960 Speaker 3: We are, we are. We are advising all these toxic. 502 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:01,520 Speaker 4: You're welcome stayed toxic. 503 00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:06,159 Speaker 5: Now. She had the audacity to call me another time after. 504 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:10,119 Speaker 4: This the ADA doesn't she know is on a boy's trip. 505 00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:13,120 Speaker 5: So when I answered and found out it wasn't an emergency, 506 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:15,359 Speaker 5: I simply turned off my phone. 507 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:17,919 Speaker 4: He's going to the doghouse. 508 00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:21,199 Speaker 5: The calls then started coming in from my friend and 509 00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:23,600 Speaker 5: he followed suit. We spent the rest of the weekend 510 00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:26,920 Speaker 5: with our phones off until we all drove back on Monday. 511 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,640 Speaker 5: Even the boys are like, yeah, we gotta we gotta 512 00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:31,800 Speaker 5: mute this pisky girlfriend over here. 513 00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:34,160 Speaker 3: Oh good gravy. 514 00:25:33,680 --> 00:25:35,760 Speaker 4: You could do you, but I don't know if we're 515 00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:39,359 Speaker 4: gonna have a girlfriend we come back, or yeah, yeah, 516 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:40,719 Speaker 4: oh there's a wedding. 517 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,320 Speaker 3: Yikes, No, no they're married. 518 00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:45,800 Speaker 4: Then sorry, oh they're married. So they got married, they're maried, divorced. 519 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:47,879 Speaker 5: I called my wife and informed her when we were 520 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,280 Speaker 5: about thirty minutes away from my place, and. 521 00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:54,680 Speaker 4: She was furious, no shit, an idiot. 522 00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:56,720 Speaker 5: What I was blind sided? 523 00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:59,800 Speaker 4: Wait? Did he actually say he was blind side? No? No, no, no, no, no, 524 00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,119 Speaker 4: there's no way. There's no way. He like didn't know. 525 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:05,400 Speaker 4: He was in a world of trouble when he came back, 526 00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:09,240 Speaker 4: like deliberately not talking to your wife. 527 00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:15,520 Speaker 5: Your wife, absolutely, bro, bad move. She said that there 528 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:18,320 Speaker 5: ended up being an emergency. Her sister got into a 529 00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:21,000 Speaker 5: car accident that won't affect your long term I love 530 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:23,959 Speaker 5: how he throws that in but still resulted in broken bones. 531 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:28,040 Speaker 4: Bro, that's pretty serious. I'm like now, I'm like almost 532 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:31,119 Speaker 4: like to like prove her point. Did she did she 533 00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,440 Speaker 4: do the setup of the car accident. 534 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:36,679 Speaker 5: Or she got her sister in on it, like just 535 00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:40,880 Speaker 5: wear it like in Spongebox where cast like just like 536 00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:43,480 Speaker 5: just straight up in the hospital and we're like, oh God, 537 00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,600 Speaker 5: if only had your phone turned on. 538 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:50,680 Speaker 4: But I'm not I'm not excusing this dude's awful behavior. 539 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:55,720 Speaker 4: He's a dick bag, I think, you know, I don't 540 00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:58,440 Speaker 4: think he's acting acting in the most considerate way possible, 541 00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:01,359 Speaker 4: for sure, But like, on the other hand, he's gone, 542 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:04,600 Speaker 4: what is he supposed to do? Like, what is like, 543 00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:06,440 Speaker 4: what is he supposed to do? Like he's in the 544 00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:08,119 Speaker 4: fucking mountains? 545 00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,800 Speaker 5: That thing you could really do about the car accident. 546 00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:13,479 Speaker 5: But it's like like, uh, like I could see her 547 00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:15,639 Speaker 5: wanting to at least talk to him, you know what 548 00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:16,000 Speaker 5: I mean. 549 00:27:16,119 --> 00:27:18,920 Speaker 4: I think she's looking for emotional support for sure of 550 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,400 Speaker 4: the thing. Sandit emotional support for that. I think that's 551 00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:24,320 Speaker 4: pretty valid. Sucks that it happened on the boys trip. 552 00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:27,119 Speaker 5: And then she said that I just ignored her the 553 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:30,000 Speaker 5: entire time that she quote unquote needed me. 554 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:33,240 Speaker 4: Oh wow, you put the quotes, Wow wow. 555 00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:35,679 Speaker 5: I told her that I was very sorry to hear 556 00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:38,119 Speaker 5: about her sister, but it wasn't my fault that she 557 00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:42,040 Speaker 5: had essentially forced my hand into cutting off all means 558 00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:45,440 Speaker 5: of communication. You made me do it, babe. 559 00:27:45,359 --> 00:27:49,040 Speaker 4: You made me we weren't so needy, always check it 560 00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:52,240 Speaker 4: up on me. Maybe it wouldn't have to block yours. Like, 561 00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:55,080 Speaker 4: I don't know how this guy, you know, lock this down? 562 00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,520 Speaker 4: This is like boyfriend one oh one right here? Like 563 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:01,679 Speaker 4: what do we always say active be red flags before? 564 00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:04,560 Speaker 4: I'm just like, I'm just baffled. I'm just baffled. 565 00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:06,879 Speaker 5: Yeah, I know she decided to stay with a friend 566 00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:09,840 Speaker 5: before I arrived home that night and has since come home, 567 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:14,880 Speaker 5: but she's still fuming. Am I the ale? 568 00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:18,280 Speaker 4: All right, let's get into the breakdown. 569 00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:18,720 Speaker 5: The breakdown. 570 00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:21,560 Speaker 4: Before we give our breakdown of this whole situation, put 571 00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:23,280 Speaker 4: in the comments, who do you think is the angel? 572 00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:24,880 Speaker 4: Who do you think is the A hole? So you're 573 00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:27,760 Speaker 4: not biased by us, and we're gonna give our take 574 00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,320 Speaker 4: in three two one? All right, John, what do you 575 00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:32,520 Speaker 4: think angels or holes? What do we got? 576 00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:36,680 Speaker 5: I think Op is the greatest angel. I mean, he's 577 00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:40,400 Speaker 5: truly Gabriel. That has just the clouds have parted, the 578 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:43,920 Speaker 5: phones have turned on, and he has dissented to bless 579 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:44,600 Speaker 5: us all and. 580 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:50,040 Speaker 4: Best boyfriend awards for sure. Okay, in reality, bro in reality, 581 00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:54,320 Speaker 4: I think, ohp definitely not winning any best boyfriend awards. 582 00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:56,680 Speaker 4: I would say, for sure a bit of an a 583 00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:59,400 Speaker 4: hole for like just turning off his phone. Also, I 584 00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:03,000 Speaker 4: don't I feel like he didn't properly mentally like prepare 585 00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:05,040 Speaker 4: his girlfriend for like the trip. 586 00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:07,160 Speaker 5: That's almost the biggest A hole part. 587 00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:10,320 Speaker 4: I feel, yeah, and like she probably might have just 588 00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:12,680 Speaker 4: gotten like a little like from the first two times, 589 00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:14,600 Speaker 4: like got a little fed up maybe, and like this 590 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:17,120 Speaker 4: it's her like this is this is her kind of 591 00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:20,440 Speaker 4: voicing her discomfort with this, like what he's doing. And 592 00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:23,200 Speaker 4: just as an example, So I did this this two 593 00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:26,640 Speaker 4: week trip to Patagonia like recently, right, and this is 594 00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:28,840 Speaker 4: the longest I've ever been away from Arion and my 595 00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:32,080 Speaker 4: current girlfriend. And before the trip, I'm like, hey, I'm 596 00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:33,880 Speaker 4: going away from two weeks. Are you gonna be okay 597 00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:36,480 Speaker 4: with this? I still love you? Literally, like all the 598 00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,840 Speaker 4: prep and stuff. I'm also saying, like, I'm really not 599 00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:40,960 Speaker 4: going to be able to talk almost at all on 600 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,760 Speaker 4: the trip. But then my little sneakiness, I'm like, I 601 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:46,280 Speaker 4: actually texted her and called her a little bit while 602 00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:49,320 Speaker 4: I was there, but the prep was I will be 603 00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:52,440 Speaker 4: not be able to be contacted at all, Right, and 604 00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:55,240 Speaker 4: I think assume that. I think, yeah, assume the worst 605 00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:57,880 Speaker 4: and then deliver more. It's like without a thing, you know, 606 00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:02,000 Speaker 4: like deliver more than you promise. And it was perfect. 607 00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:04,120 Speaker 4: She ended up being like really busy with work stuff 608 00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:06,320 Speaker 4: and was like hanging out with friends, and she still 609 00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:08,480 Speaker 4: felt like the most important thing is she still felt 610 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:13,000 Speaker 4: secure in the relationship because of the conversations we had 611 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:16,480 Speaker 4: leading up to this, Right, it seems like this guy 612 00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:21,120 Speaker 4: Op did not have that level of communication with his 613 00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:25,960 Speaker 4: girlfriend or his wife. His wife his wife god, yeah, yeah, 614 00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:28,520 Speaker 4: so like you have to have that level of conversation 615 00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:31,800 Speaker 4: and communication with your partner, especially if you're gonna be 616 00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:33,720 Speaker 4: leaving for a while. Yeah, I just I don't I 617 00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:34,720 Speaker 4: didn't see this from this guy. 618 00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:37,120 Speaker 5: Also, remember when he said, like, oh, it was fine 619 00:30:37,160 --> 00:30:40,720 Speaker 5: the years prior, but then this year she like maybe 620 00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:44,120 Speaker 5: she just like just finally got fed up with it after. 621 00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:46,480 Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. I was thinking 622 00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:49,840 Speaker 4: that too. It's like, bro, uh, this is maybe the 623 00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:53,120 Speaker 4: first time she's voicing it probably wasn't fine before. 624 00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:55,880 Speaker 5: Also, do you think there's a little bit of maybe 625 00:30:55,960 --> 00:31:00,400 Speaker 5: a whole four Op's wife for being mad about specifically 626 00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:03,920 Speaker 5: the not being able to contact for the car accident. 627 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,640 Speaker 4: I think, yes, I think, like, like, I think there's 628 00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:09,800 Speaker 4: a little bit of a holyness from the wife just 629 00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:12,320 Speaker 4: because like I mean, he yeah, he maybe he didn't 630 00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:15,320 Speaker 4: have like in depth conversations and all that, but he 631 00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:17,680 Speaker 4: did tell her he was going to be like off grid, 632 00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:22,880 Speaker 4: and yeah, it seems like she didn't quite respect that. 633 00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:24,840 Speaker 4: That being said, he could have been much better at 634 00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:27,800 Speaker 4: like communicating, yeah, and supporting her through that because she 635 00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:29,960 Speaker 4: probably just doesn't feel She probably feels like anxious a 636 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:31,920 Speaker 4: little bit maybe without him, and that's like, you know, 637 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,200 Speaker 4: I think that's that's normal for relationships. I think he's 638 00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:37,360 Speaker 4: being inconsiderate to how she's feeling, and she's doing the 639 00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:40,000 Speaker 4: same back to him, and it's just manifesting in different ways. 640 00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:42,920 Speaker 4: It's like it's almost you're all basically seeing the different 641 00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:46,080 Speaker 4: attachment styles at play, right, Like she's probably anxiously attached 642 00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:51,040 Speaker 4: and he's like he's probably avoidant attachment style, and so 643 00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:55,680 Speaker 4: you're seeing this this dynamic play out right here. So yeah, 644 00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:58,240 Speaker 4: I think a little bit of a whole from the wife, 645 00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:02,120 Speaker 4: way more on the husband's side, Like if she was 646 00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:05,240 Speaker 4: acting in the best way, you know, possible, it would 647 00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:09,400 Speaker 4: be like, you know, respecting the boy's trip and realizing, 648 00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:12,280 Speaker 4: you know, the relationship is still okay. But actually, in 649 00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:14,600 Speaker 4: this case, I don't know if it is. He doesn't 650 00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:17,320 Speaker 4: seem to really care as much as he should about her. 651 00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:19,640 Speaker 5: Also, maybe we have you know, we have who's the 652 00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:23,040 Speaker 5: a hole, who's the angel, and maybe there's it's a 653 00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:25,200 Speaker 5: whole mess where it's kind of like I don't, I 654 00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:27,719 Speaker 5: don't I wouldn't necessarily categorize this one, but there are 655 00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:31,440 Speaker 5: situations where it's like like everyone's the A hole. I 656 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:36,200 Speaker 5: don't think this this is quite up there, but it's 657 00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:37,600 Speaker 5: you know, it's a little messy. 658 00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:40,520 Speaker 4: Also, the friend is also kind of like complicit in 659 00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:42,760 Speaker 4: this because he's just started to big too. 660 00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:43,560 Speaker 5: Uh. 661 00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:46,480 Speaker 4: I think I think everyone's a little bit of the 662 00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:48,840 Speaker 4: A hole. But I think it goes like like O 663 00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:51,600 Speaker 4: P then friend than wife. That's my opinion. 664 00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:55,120 Speaker 5: And you know what, I actually don't think the wife 665 00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:58,480 Speaker 5: is just because like I could, I can't think frustration 666 00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:02,680 Speaker 5: just because of the frustration, Like I I don't know 667 00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:05,200 Speaker 5: for me personally, I kind of like get where she's 668 00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:06,280 Speaker 5: coming from. 669 00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:09,000 Speaker 4: Especially since there was an accident. I totally forgot about that, like, 670 00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:10,640 Speaker 4: especially there's an accident. 671 00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:14,000 Speaker 5: Yeah, she's probably just so distraught, Like I I would 672 00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:16,680 Speaker 5: imagine any most people would be would be like. 673 00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:21,640 Speaker 4: Yeah, so distraught that you're you're You're right. I was 674 00:33:21,680 --> 00:33:25,280 Speaker 4: totally forgetting about the accident, Like if he like maybe 675 00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:28,120 Speaker 4: she would have been like a little and like in 676 00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:31,600 Speaker 4: the tiniest fraction of a hole for for like like 677 00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:33,760 Speaker 4: maybe like talking throughout the trip even though he said 678 00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:35,960 Speaker 4: he wanted to disconnect or whatever. But because there was 679 00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:39,280 Speaker 4: actually like like a pretty severe car crash, like I 680 00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:40,800 Speaker 4: think that absolves her of everything. 681 00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:44,080 Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, it's kind of like what what can you do? 682 00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:48,120 Speaker 4: Yeah, And and I understand his point about like you know, 683 00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:50,640 Speaker 4: like I'm not even like what would I be able 684 00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:52,040 Speaker 4: to do? But I also don't think that's a very 685 00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:53,760 Speaker 4: empathetic response either, right. 686 00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:57,240 Speaker 5: No, not at all after like off of like shutting 687 00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:59,240 Speaker 5: down the wall of communication. 688 00:33:58,840 --> 00:34:03,240 Speaker 4: Like yeah, that's pretty step two. So I think there's 689 00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:07,000 Speaker 4: like there's also a difference between what what is okay 690 00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:10,520 Speaker 4: to do and what would be like the most empathetic 691 00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:15,840 Speaker 4: like Gandhi Buddha like response that you could do. And 692 00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:18,839 Speaker 4: so like if you if they were perfect people, right, 693 00:34:19,239 --> 00:34:23,439 Speaker 4: like the guy would be more computative, communicative about where 694 00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:26,960 Speaker 4: he's going, what he's doing. The girl would be would 695 00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:29,279 Speaker 4: allow the guy a little bit more space, right like 696 00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:32,760 Speaker 4: in the if you if they were the best possible people. 697 00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:36,680 Speaker 4: But I think you know, humans are flawed and you 698 00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:40,759 Speaker 4: we need an insecure and like we we need to 699 00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:44,840 Speaker 4: meet people in the middle, often times in the middle 700 00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:48,239 Speaker 4: of their their flaws. So uh, I think this is 701 00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:52,839 Speaker 4: one of those cases where the guy needed to move 702 00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:56,000 Speaker 4: a little bit more. Uh, be a little bit more 703 00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:57,880 Speaker 4: empathetic to to his wife. 704 00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:02,080 Speaker 5: Well, I I only demand profess so half fun not 705 00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:05,480 Speaker 5: having perfection everyone, why I live in paradise? 706 00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:08,319 Speaker 4: All right, Well what do you guys think? I mean, 707 00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:14,000 Speaker 4: that's our our decision, our breakdown. But hey, where we 708 00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:16,440 Speaker 4: could be totally wrong, and you know we have our 709 00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:19,200 Speaker 4: own biases to deal with, So chew us out if 710 00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:22,160 Speaker 4: we're wrong, and please celebrate us if we're right. 711 00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:23,319 Speaker 3: Let us know. 712 00:35:23,440 --> 00:35:27,560 Speaker 5: Baby, my husband was disgusted by my unborn baby, but 713 00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:28,920 Speaker 5: now he loves it. 714 00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:33,480 Speaker 4: Okayop, this is OKAYOP. I'm Samuel Daughner and I'm John Fry. 715 00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:36,360 Speaker 4: We tell the funniest stories on the Internet and before 716 00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:39,000 Speaker 4: we get into the stories. We have a little announcement 717 00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:40,840 Speaker 4: that you might be able to guess by what we 718 00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:41,360 Speaker 4: are wearing. 719 00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:45,320 Speaker 5: Yeah, you know, same, you're looking kind of fresh fresh, 720 00:35:45,400 --> 00:35:48,680 Speaker 5: Why if I don't say so myself because. 721 00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:55,880 Speaker 4: Of my march oh oh oh oh oh yeah. So 722 00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:58,520 Speaker 4: those Garon's we don't want them. 723 00:36:00,480 --> 00:36:01,919 Speaker 3: What do you got boxes we're moving? 724 00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:05,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, we're moving boxes old Dame U boxes a march 725 00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:08,399 Speaker 4: please order, please support us. 726 00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:10,840 Speaker 5: But John, also, you got some merch on Yeah, you know, 727 00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:13,319 Speaker 5: we got the listen for any time people are doing 728 00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:13,759 Speaker 5: too much. 729 00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:15,640 Speaker 4: Look t l d R, the l d R. 730 00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:17,920 Speaker 3: People that think you're the A Whole, You're. 731 00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:20,520 Speaker 4: Not not the ale. So we got merch that's canceled. 732 00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:23,360 Speaker 4: Karen hats, t l d R hats. We got not 733 00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:26,680 Speaker 4: the A Whole shirts and broh shirts. And the shirts 734 00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:29,640 Speaker 4: have like van Go for the podcast listeners, podcast fam. 735 00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:32,120 Speaker 4: Their shirts have br with like van. 736 00:36:32,760 --> 00:36:36,320 Speaker 5: On it very classy painting, classy and the classy painting 737 00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:36,919 Speaker 5: modern text. 738 00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:40,000 Speaker 4: Yes, classy painting, modern tracks. And with the shirt John's 739 00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:43,280 Speaker 4: wearing Not the A Hole, it has a beautiful naked lady, 740 00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:46,480 Speaker 4: very sensual, very essential. So and it let people know 741 00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:49,399 Speaker 4: like hey, the good guy right here, not the a. 742 00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:52,799 Speaker 5: Hole exactly right. Yeah, cancel Karen. You know you're part 743 00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:55,839 Speaker 5: of the cancel Karen crusaders Like yeah, that's the whole thing. 744 00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:59,200 Speaker 5: So if you joined the movement, cancel, cancel the Karens. 745 00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:02,160 Speaker 5: Guys like we have to. Every person in America needs 746 00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:04,520 Speaker 5: to be wearing a cancel Karen hat. I believe it 747 00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:06,759 Speaker 5: to effectively cancel him. I mean like that will send 748 00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:10,919 Speaker 5: the message to solidarity on baby. So if you guys 749 00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:13,319 Speaker 5: want to buy it, podcast or YouTube, you can check 750 00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:15,480 Speaker 5: the link in the description. You can buy this. And 751 00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:17,480 Speaker 5: we got a lot of new items coming soon as well, 752 00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:20,440 Speaker 5: so we do. We do check it out. And with 753 00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:21,480 Speaker 5: that being said, I. 754 00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:24,839 Speaker 4: Think we got Yeah, give me a juicy one. Oh 755 00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:26,920 Speaker 4: I got, I got a juicy through it like a 756 00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,520 Speaker 4: piece of meat and have the blood dripped down my 757 00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:30,920 Speaker 4: gums and my chin. 758 00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:35,600 Speaker 5: Wow. Oddly descriptive, like serial killer level descriptive. 759 00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:36,080 Speaker 4: Right there. 760 00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:37,719 Speaker 3: I love it all right. 761 00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:41,359 Speaker 5: My husband was disgusted by my unborn baby, but now 762 00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:42,200 Speaker 5: he loves it. 763 00:37:42,440 --> 00:37:47,080 Speaker 4: Discuss it, disgust it. Damn is a bad husband. You 764 00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:50,359 Speaker 4: need to go to the clink, go the dogouse. 765 00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:52,839 Speaker 5: No meals for a week, well, you know, don't don't 766 00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:54,600 Speaker 5: judge a story by its title, Samuel. 767 00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:56,720 Speaker 3: We've I think we've learned that in all of our. 768 00:37:56,719 --> 00:38:00,800 Speaker 4: Don't judge an a hole before we've read the story exactly, exactly, 769 00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:01,840 Speaker 4: all right, Opie says. 770 00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:04,799 Speaker 5: When we started dating, he male forty eight, was very 771 00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:08,120 Speaker 5: clear that he didn't want kids, and I, female twenty five, 772 00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:11,200 Speaker 5: knew it because he told me a few times. And also, 773 00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:13,520 Speaker 5: just like note the age difference there. Yeah, that's a 774 00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:16,600 Speaker 5: pretty big age gap. Like there are forty different places 775 00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:21,080 Speaker 5: in life. One five man's had like two divorces, and 776 00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:24,879 Speaker 5: you know, like made his wealth on his yacht. He's 777 00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:28,600 Speaker 5: like drinking wine and eating fancy cheeses and like. 778 00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:30,160 Speaker 4: My girl just got out of college. 779 00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:32,480 Speaker 5: Okay, good for her, Like, you know, lock it down, 780 00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:35,120 Speaker 5: like sugar daddy, dude, I don't want to work for 781 00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:37,279 Speaker 5: my whole life. Op He goes on to say, I 782 00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:41,120 Speaker 5: made a mistake with my birth control and ended up pregnant. 783 00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:45,719 Speaker 4: He was not happy at all. Yeah, make sure you 784 00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:48,240 Speaker 4: take the right pills if you don't want to get pregnant. 785 00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:51,560 Speaker 5: You know, the the cautious you figure it out. 786 00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:53,839 Speaker 4: You know, they used to have male birth control, but 787 00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:57,760 Speaker 4: then the guys are like, this makes me feel weird. 788 00:38:58,080 --> 00:38:59,319 Speaker 4: Believe to the male birth. 789 00:38:59,320 --> 00:39:03,520 Speaker 5: They're like, let's completely like modify the woman body so 790 00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:04,920 Speaker 5: that way I don't have to do anything. 791 00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:07,399 Speaker 4: So I like that plan. 792 00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:09,680 Speaker 5: So did they just like stop developing it or something. 793 00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:13,120 Speaker 4: Yeah, basically like the men had the exact same symptoms 794 00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:16,080 Speaker 4: as as women on birth control, and they're like, they're like, 795 00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:20,280 Speaker 4: we don't like this, and then they just continued the study. Nice. Nice. 796 00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:23,160 Speaker 5: During the first five months of the pregnancy, he acted 797 00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:25,719 Speaker 5: as if I wasn't pregnant, literally just not acknowledging. 798 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:28,800 Speaker 4: How do you not acknowledge that. I don't know, Bright, 799 00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:32,040 Speaker 4: you're a dick of a of a significant other if 800 00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:34,400 Speaker 4: you're not like massage and feet when they're pregnant. 801 00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:37,120 Speaker 5: Given that jar of pickles getting Yeah, the cravings were 802 00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:39,640 Speaker 5: peoples and ice cream, you know, and ice cream together. 803 00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:40,200 Speaker 4: Yeah. 804 00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:42,200 Speaker 5: When my husband had to start buying things for the 805 00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:46,160 Speaker 5: baby and decorating her room, he actually started to participate 806 00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:48,160 Speaker 5: in those things and be engaged. He was in the 807 00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:51,400 Speaker 5: delivery room when she was born, and since then she 808 00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:55,120 Speaker 5: has become his world. He is an amazing dad, and 809 00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:58,319 Speaker 5: our daughter, who's now six months old, loves him, and 810 00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:00,480 Speaker 5: I thought he loved her too, thought. 811 00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:03,920 Speaker 4: All right, I sense a turn turn, I send something brewing. 812 00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:08,120 Speaker 5: But a couple of nights ago, his friends they're all 813 00:40:08,160 --> 00:40:10,479 Speaker 5: in their forties and fifties. Yeah, because he is old 814 00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:13,239 Speaker 5: as heck, because he's freaking old. Came to her house 815 00:40:13,239 --> 00:40:17,880 Speaker 5: for dinner, and I overheard a conversation that I should 816 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,760 Speaker 5: not have heard, And now I wonder if he's honest 817 00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:21,279 Speaker 5: or not. 818 00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:24,799 Speaker 4: See, like, those are the conversations that you want to 819 00:40:24,840 --> 00:40:28,360 Speaker 4: hear too, though, Like conversations that like like this is 820 00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:31,080 Speaker 4: real talk, you know. Yeah, yeah, conversations are not meant 821 00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:33,360 Speaker 4: to hear. That's when people that's true. 822 00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:36,399 Speaker 5: Those are conversations they actually do need to hear. You're 823 00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:38,560 Speaker 5: not supposed to hear. One of his friends was making 824 00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:40,640 Speaker 5: fun of him for being a dad at his age, 825 00:40:40,719 --> 00:40:43,120 Speaker 5: and the other one said something like I thought you 826 00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:45,319 Speaker 5: were smarter. His friends are kind of a ahole, Like, 827 00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:46,840 Speaker 5: come on, that's so whack. 828 00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:49,560 Speaker 4: It's like you're having like also like imagine if he 829 00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:52,920 Speaker 4: if he's like he actually wants the kid now, yeah, 830 00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:56,920 Speaker 4: and it's super excited or like you're adobe for having kids. 831 00:40:56,960 --> 00:41:00,600 Speaker 5: Like also cares like if someone if a person was 832 00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:01,960 Speaker 5: have a kid, like let him live. 833 00:41:02,239 --> 00:41:05,759 Speaker 4: In the words of John Lennon, let it be. 834 00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:07,720 Speaker 3: Oh, John Lennon, it was so funny. 835 00:41:07,719 --> 00:41:10,040 Speaker 5: I was I thought you mixed up John and Lennon 836 00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:11,680 Speaker 5: and John Legend, but I mixed. 837 00:41:11,560 --> 00:41:17,080 Speaker 4: Up two very different people, John Legend, John Lennon glasses. 838 00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:20,520 Speaker 5: The husband's friend goes on to say, I can't believe she. 839 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:24,439 Speaker 5: He was talking about me, trapped you, and now you're 840 00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:29,000 Speaker 5: changing diapers and preparing bottles at three am. This this 841 00:41:29,160 --> 00:41:32,000 Speaker 5: friend needs to not be a friend, like get out 842 00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:33,840 Speaker 5: of here, Get him out, like what are we doing here? 843 00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:36,040 Speaker 4: Get them to the curve. You gotta have good people 844 00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:40,640 Speaker 4: in your average. You gotta have a supportive circle around you. 845 00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:42,640 Speaker 4: That's at all times, at all the times. 846 00:41:42,719 --> 00:41:44,839 Speaker 5: My husband just laughed when he said that and said 847 00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:48,680 Speaker 5: that even if they couldn't believe it, he's enjoying. 848 00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:51,920 Speaker 4: To the husband for actually like sticking up for his 849 00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:56,200 Speaker 4: baby and his his significant other. Like that's like stand 850 00:41:56,239 --> 00:41:58,839 Speaker 4: up move. And it's non confrontational too, Like he's not 851 00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:01,799 Speaker 4: he's not being like you, but I know that first 852 00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:02,640 Speaker 4: responds pretty good. 853 00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:05,920 Speaker 3: Also, don't speak to you, don't speak too highly of 854 00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:06,319 Speaker 3: a fee. 855 00:42:06,520 --> 00:42:09,200 Speaker 5: Then his friend goes on to say that he's only 856 00:42:09,239 --> 00:42:12,680 Speaker 5: trying to convince himself because he knows that she's already 857 00:42:12,719 --> 00:42:15,759 Speaker 5: here and he can't change that. But he knows that 858 00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:18,600 Speaker 5: he never wanted to be a dad. They have known 859 00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:21,719 Speaker 5: him since they were teenagers, and that they know he's 860 00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:25,319 Speaker 5: always hated kids, and it's impossible that he suddenly loves it. 861 00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:29,759 Speaker 4: Bruh, just bruh, bruh by the brush, but bruh, what 862 00:42:30,200 --> 00:42:31,759 Speaker 4: why why are you saying all that? 863 00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:34,160 Speaker 5: Dude? Like literally, it's like they're just trying to have 864 00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:36,520 Speaker 5: a nice casual even if he drinks, and. 865 00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:38,400 Speaker 3: It's like this is blowing up his life. 866 00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:38,560 Speaker 5: Bro. 867 00:42:38,719 --> 00:42:41,760 Speaker 4: They're at like some like little party and this guy 868 00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:45,319 Speaker 4: is just like, let me be a bringer of sadness 869 00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:46,279 Speaker 4: right now. 870 00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:49,520 Speaker 5: And maybe it's worth like really asking, Like there's there's 871 00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:51,080 Speaker 5: a time in a place if you really want to, 872 00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:52,759 Speaker 5: and that's just not the time, not the way to 873 00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:53,160 Speaker 5: ask it. 874 00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:57,080 Speaker 4: Like, yeah, ridiculous, honestly ridiculous. I just the bad friend. 875 00:42:57,160 --> 00:43:00,359 Speaker 4: Bad friend totally also doesn't know when to stop talking either, 876 00:43:00,800 --> 00:43:04,319 Speaker 4: freaking Like the husband deflects the first time, and then 877 00:43:04,680 --> 00:43:08,520 Speaker 4: the friend is like, well, let me dive deeper into 878 00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:12,000 Speaker 4: this uncomfortable topic and just brick up. 879 00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:13,960 Speaker 5: The whole night, like my pistol didn't get you, let 880 00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:17,640 Speaker 5: me get my AK forty seven and try and get so. 881 00:43:17,719 --> 00:43:21,840 Speaker 5: At this point, my husband kept quiet and didn't say anything, 882 00:43:21,960 --> 00:43:25,680 Speaker 5: and the silence hurt me because I knew they were 883 00:43:25,880 --> 00:43:30,360 Speaker 5: right wouch. When I got pregnant, I knew that he 884 00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:32,800 Speaker 5: never wanted to have kids and that keeping the baby 885 00:43:32,840 --> 00:43:35,640 Speaker 5: would probably damage our relationship. Then I thought that he 886 00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:38,480 Speaker 5: had changed his mind, and now everything was fine. And 887 00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:40,880 Speaker 5: at this point I can't stop thinking about how he 888 00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:43,360 Speaker 5: would probably resent me in the future. How can I 889 00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:44,799 Speaker 5: talk to him about it. I don't want to see 890 00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:47,239 Speaker 5: him insecure or make him feel that he doesn't love 891 00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:48,040 Speaker 5: our daughter enough. 892 00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:50,080 Speaker 4: Well, I mean, he was silent on the next one. 893 00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:53,120 Speaker 4: I don't know if that is a indicator of him 894 00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:56,040 Speaker 4: being like I agree, I think it's not one. 895 00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:59,200 Speaker 5: Hundred percent damning evidence, but it doesn't look good either. 896 00:43:59,400 --> 00:44:01,600 Speaker 4: I mean, I think it's I I would view it 897 00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:05,360 Speaker 4: more as like this guy is just trying to exit 898 00:44:05,480 --> 00:44:11,840 Speaker 4: this very uncomfortable and dumb conversation point. Sometimes arguing against 899 00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:16,319 Speaker 4: someone's strong held opinion just brings you down to their 900 00:44:16,760 --> 00:44:20,080 Speaker 4: level and and and like leaves you just trying to 901 00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:22,400 Speaker 4: convince them of something you already know to be true. 902 00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:25,840 Speaker 4: So why try to waste your life energy? Exactly? 903 00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:28,640 Speaker 5: Yeah, you know what does do a lot for your 904 00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:33,880 Speaker 5: life energy? What does slapping that subscribe follow up, slap. 905 00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:36,800 Speaker 4: That subscribe follow We we know you out there, YouTube 906 00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:40,440 Speaker 4: gang podcast gang uh, and we're here for you. And 907 00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:42,719 Speaker 4: also if you want to be here for us, let's 908 00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:48,320 Speaker 4: sensel Karen Merch right here boom right oh bruh su bruh. 909 00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:50,759 Speaker 3: Yeah, bro, we got. 910 00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:51,960 Speaker 4: All the shirts, all the caps. 911 00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:54,879 Speaker 5: You need to stay looking fresh in these stretch as 912 00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:58,640 Speaker 5: a dove in the sky on a Thursday night right 913 00:44:58,680 --> 00:45:00,920 Speaker 5: before it's gone out, and you done the dirty with 914 00:45:01,000 --> 00:45:04,760 Speaker 5: other doves that check out the merch. Slap the subscribe 915 00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:06,120 Speaker 5: button then we'll see you guys next crack. 916 00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:08,200 Speaker 4: You say you'll never join the navy. 917 00:45:08,280 --> 00:45:11,560 Speaker 1: Never climb out fuji on a court visit, or break 918 00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:14,920 Speaker 1: the sound bam here. Joining the Navy sounds crazy. 919 00:45:15,160 --> 00:45:18,880 Speaker 4: Saying never actually is. Learn why at Navy dot com 920 00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:21,240 Speaker 4: America's Navy forged by the Sea.