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Speaker 1: Motherfucking mini episode, mini episode, motherfucking mini ever sew.

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Speaker 2: She got her hands all on her knees and a

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Speaker 2: boat on her thighs. Welcome will Mama's and gentiles alike

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Speaker 2: to another phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me the podcast.

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Speaker 3: Well, we dive deep, deep into the pockets of black

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Speaker 3: conspiracy theories.

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Speaker 2: And we finally worked to prove the conspiracies of you,

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Speaker 2: the will Mamas, and the gentiles and the juice. Anybody

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Speaker 2: can listen to this.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, this is for all of y'all, and more importantly,

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Speaker 3: this especially is for you because of some other fucking

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Speaker 3: mini episode. We come on, we're reading your emails and

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Speaker 3: we're scoffing at most of them, but some of you

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Speaker 3: float to the top, and those who have, we honor

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Speaker 3: you by reading your stupid ass emails.

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Speaker 2: And I would argue that today's email is maybe the

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Speaker 2: guest who has floated to the top the most.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, he's certain, he certainly makes it to the top.

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Speaker 2: And let us be clear, the top.

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Speaker 3: Ain't always the healthiest or the brightest. No, no, making

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Speaker 3: it to the top, frankly, is probably a sign that

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Speaker 3: you're a sick, sick person, And.

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Speaker 2: I mean let's be honest. Ship floats, y'all. That's what

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Speaker 2: this guy is.

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Speaker 3: Just Yeah, that's what he's doing. And we we got

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Speaker 3: a new email from our dear friend Carlos X. Girl.

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Speaker 3: Come on, Carlos remains dedicated to communicating to us. For

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Speaker 3: those that are that are unfamiliar with Carlos's work, revisit

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Speaker 3: plenty of our episodes in the past where we we

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Speaker 3: navigate a very irate I don't even know how he

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Speaker 3: self identifies, but certainly an irate listener. Yeah, is the

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Speaker 3: reason we refer to you as my man from the congo.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he's the one who started it. Not a black

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Speaker 2: Hebrew is real life, but an affiliate.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, certainly he's a He's a sympathizer if nothing else.

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Speaker 3: He's a man who understands their their motion if not

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Speaker 3: you in for some reason, is unable to commit.

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Speaker 2: Yes, also a man with a deep, rich understanding of

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Speaker 2: the law.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you'll hear in the email that this is a

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Speaker 3: man who knows the law front and back. And he

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Speaker 3: reminds us and mainly mess he's mostly angry at me.

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Speaker 2: It seems. At this point, pointed, Yeah, I was saying

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Speaker 2: it off off air. I think it's colorism.

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Speaker 3: I listen, whatever it is, I ain't his taste. And

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Speaker 3: these emails are very targeted at me, despite us constantly

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Speaker 3: remind via these these recordings that you exist and you

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Speaker 3: are not just sort of a side character in this story,

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Speaker 3: but in fact they co host an equal part to

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Speaker 3: this thing. He does not acknowledge.

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Speaker 2: You, doesn't like it. I'm over it's me, baby.

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Speaker 3: You made from the Congo gollos. Come on, save made

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Speaker 3: some death threats.

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Speaker 2: Baby, Come on, just say my goddamn name. I'm over.

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Speaker 2: You're reading your ship. I hope that he listens every week,

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Speaker 2: hoping this is gonna happen, just raging.

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Speaker 3: Just fuming in his in his what I presume is

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Speaker 3: a very small living space. I'm not even gonna call

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Speaker 3: it an apartment. He feels like he rents a room

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Speaker 3: out of somewhere that or like the rest.

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Speaker 2: Doesn't belong to him, or like a garage in someone's home.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I think he's he rents a garage in

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Speaker 2: an old lady's home and he's just in there doing burpies,

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Speaker 2: pissed off. Listen.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, he doesn't even seem like he lives with his parents,

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Speaker 3: like it feels like his parents got fed up with

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Speaker 3: whatever this was, and they're like, Carlos, you gotta go

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Speaker 3: out and make something of yourself. And this is what

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Speaker 3: he made. And they shouldn't have done that. They shouldn't

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Speaker 3: have let him loose on society, seeing how unfinished he was.

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Speaker 2: He's doing the aggressive burpees where you punch your stomach.

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Speaker 4: At that, just getting just getting weird.

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Speaker 3: Buff.

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Speaker 2: Oh weird buff buffing all the wrong places.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, then why you got those back muscles? What do

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Speaker 3: you do that requires you to have that?

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Speaker 2: Why? Why twenty six inch waists? A man's built like

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Speaker 2: Bell from Beauty and the Beasts. All right, here it

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Speaker 2: comes Carlo Sex subject line the game stop now, Well, Lang,

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Speaker 2: it appears that you don't understand the basics of law.

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Speaker 2: I know you're not a qualified quote unquote legal consultant

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Speaker 2: as I am, but I'm talking about the basics. Did

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Speaker 2: you forget that I have already quote unquote legally served

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Speaker 2: you with a quote unquote.

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Speaker 3: Cease and decease, stop and die.

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Speaker 2: Order for the previous deflation and character assign nation you perpetrated,

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Speaker 2: perpetrated spelled like a traded like trader. Joe's upon me. Well,

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Speaker 2: let me remind you that not only did that happen,

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Speaker 2: but you are now in violating of that order by

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Speaker 2: broadcasting another of your so called quote unquote worldwide program

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Speaker 2: and again defaming me. I will not stand for this.

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Speaker 2: You are now subject to quote un quote oh of

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Speaker 2: the penalties of my order of Jay. Yeah, you ready.

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Speaker 2: You will be received some quote unquote legal documents in

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Speaker 2: the next few days and are hereby ordered to follow

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Speaker 2: them completely.

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Speaker 3: WHOA, Well, Okay, there's a lot. There's a lot.

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Speaker 2: Already inside it, already already a lot going on.

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Speaker 3: There's plenty of legal jargon that I don't recognize. He's right,

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Speaker 3: I am not a quote unquote legal consultant, and certainly

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Speaker 3: the words are are thick and heavy. So to pardon

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Speaker 3: me if Carlos I get caught up in the really

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Speaker 3: confusing word choices, because obviously this must be legal jargon,

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Speaker 3: and I'm and I'm just too ignorant.

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Speaker 2: That's I mean, you know, he also quote unquote legal,

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Speaker 2: which I don't know. It makes me feel like he's like,

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Speaker 2: I don't operate under man's law.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that this is like this is like a book

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Speaker 3: that he has that has a different set of rules.

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Speaker 3: In it, and he's like, you don't get it, You've

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Speaker 3: already fucked up.

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Speaker 2: It's like you overstand, brother, all.

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Speaker 3: Right, right, clam, this is not my bible, big dog, cuz.

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Speaker 2: I'm a gentile, all right. And just so you know,

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Speaker 2: I have been monitoring monitoring your broadcasts and have heard

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Speaker 2: all the agreed just so it says agreed like a

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Speaker 2: g r E space.

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Speaker 3: Oh good thing for knowing what that was. I I

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Speaker 3: just thought he had like skipped a thought, but no,

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Speaker 3: you're right staying egregious. But he spelled it agreed space

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Speaker 3: just yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So I've listened to I've heard all the agreedious

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Speaker 2: things you said about many other outstanding people. You have

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Speaker 2: the nerve to talk bad about ice Cube one word, don't,

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Speaker 2: don't you know? He wrote fuck the police?

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Speaker 3: All right, wait a minute, I'm just finding this out. Now.

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Speaker 3: We got to call Justin and get him to edit

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Speaker 3: out a bunch of things I said about our ice Cube.

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Speaker 3: I had no idea he wrote fuck the police.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you just thought he was the dad And are

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Speaker 2: we there and or done yet?

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Speaker 4: And look at me.

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Speaker 3: I've made a fool of myself, Carlos, and I regret

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Speaker 3: everything I've said about famed anti semite ice cube.

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Speaker 2: Egg on your face.

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Speaker 3: Fuck, we're calling upon you because we have new merch.

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Speaker 3: We have very exciting merch that we are now selling

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Speaker 3: and it's it's fucking great. We love it so much.

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Speaker 2: Just sleek, it's sexy.

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Speaker 3: Come on, you want to tell them what we have?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we have three different types of hats, which is

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Speaker 2: really fun. We have a two tone hat alien Dad hat,

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Speaker 2: the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then we have

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Speaker 2: the enamel pin with the alien who has a coofie

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Speaker 2: on it says my Mama told me. And then we

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Speaker 2: have t shirts that say proud little Mama, which is

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Speaker 2: who you are.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you can buy the merch now. Go to my

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Speaker 3: Mama Told Me dot merchcentral dot com where you can

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Speaker 3: see all of our merch. You can buy shit pre

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Speaker 3: order now, but December tenth you can buy it for real,

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Speaker 3: for real, and we want you to have all the

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Speaker 3: sweet stuff, so get it.

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Speaker 2: Carlos Gans goes on to say he should be on

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Speaker 2: the dollar bill, not be the subject of your slander.

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Speaker 3: Tie rate, tie rate.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and most recent you were stupid enough to call

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Speaker 2: jay Z a pedophill. All right, I don't think we

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Speaker 2: did that.

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Speaker 3: Well, I probably did, knowing me, knowing how I move.

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Speaker 3: I may have called jay Z a pedophile. I certainly

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Speaker 3: didn't call him a pedal phil but I did. I

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Speaker 3: did maybe call him a pedophile, but I don't know that.

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Speaker 3: I believe that he's as much a pedophile as a

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Speaker 3: dude who fell in love with one kid. Leah, No,

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Speaker 3: I was thinking Beyonce, but you're right. Two kids? Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's not great.

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Speaker 2: Two there's three. Well guess what. I have contacted both

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Speaker 2: of them and money others, all on social media and

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Speaker 2: afft them to your deeds. I have also offered to

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Speaker 2: represent them in any legal action. And your media empire.

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Speaker 3: Fuck, that's terrifying, yo.

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Speaker 2: I love that you have a media empire.

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Speaker 3: Well, yeah, that's what scares me. This is an empire.

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Speaker 2: I thought you were just a nigga with a podcast,

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Speaker 2: but you want to lose.

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Speaker 3: Turns out, yeah, I didn't know so much was riding

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Speaker 3: on me. There's there, We've got employees, we've got to feed.

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Speaker 3: We can't use this this empire.

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Speaker 2: Get up those likes, follow like, subscribe rate. We gotta

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Speaker 2: keep our empire.

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Speaker 3: The empire is falling.

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Speaker 2: Well, your empire I don't exist. Yeah, you were never there,

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Speaker 2: he says, because I was the first one to bring

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Speaker 2: this to their attention, I will automatically be paid a

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Speaker 2: percent of whatever legal they receive, even if they don't

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Speaker 2: use my quote unquote legal services. Oh this is where

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Speaker 2: it gets good.

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Speaker 3: Oh this isn't this, This has been trashed thus far.

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Speaker 2: Go ahead, and I'm gonna I'm gonna steeple so I

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Speaker 2: can come from the same place that he comes here.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I like that.

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Speaker 2: You see lang, I played chess, not checkers. Oh fuck,

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Speaker 2: and don't think for a minute that you can just

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Speaker 2: ignore this or file bankrupt, because I have something that

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Speaker 2: will make you think twice.

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Speaker 3: Fuck.

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Speaker 2: I have hired a quote unquote legal investigator, made them

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Speaker 2: with my own money to come some dirt on you

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Speaker 2: and your African comrade.

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Speaker 4: You're back, You're back.

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Speaker 3: Minisoda was finished, and he now acknowledges you may not

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Speaker 3: in fact be from the Congo. You're just from Africa.

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Speaker 3: The man sees you.

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Speaker 2: Come on, we're in there, and he said, okay. He says, well,

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Speaker 2: if you think that quote unquote fruitcake Dwight Howard is

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Speaker 2: taking it you nowhere? Oh no, he says, well, if

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Speaker 2: you think the quote unquote fruitcake Dwight Howard is taking

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Speaker 2: it you nowhere. Wait until you see what I have

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Speaker 2: on you. Fuck, oh god, Carlos.

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Speaker 4: Carlos say it ain't so man.

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Speaker 2: He said you went to Miami with Diddy.

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Speaker 3: He's saying he has footage, he has documents on camera.

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Speaker 2: He's got Dwight Howard murdering your ship.

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Speaker 3: God damn, he's gonna get me. He's gonna expose all

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Speaker 3: my all my videos.

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Speaker 2: Sound like you already got. He paid out a pocket fuck.

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Speaker 2: He paid for his own legal investigator. By the way, yes, Olivia,

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Speaker 2: Dwight spelled d w I t E. And if you

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Speaker 2: don't comply with the quote unquote legal documents I send,

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Speaker 2: I will be sent into I will I think he

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Speaker 2: means to say, I will be forced into what have

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Speaker 2: to all the major I think he says, I will

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Speaker 2: be forced to send what I have to all the

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Speaker 2: major media platforms. I guarantee you will lose everything, and

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Speaker 2: your wife, maybe even your kids will leave you. Is

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Speaker 2: that what you want?

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Speaker 4: It's not.

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Speaker 3: That's not what I want, Carlos.

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Speaker 2: Please, I'm and then finally, as always, please submit all proceeds,

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Speaker 2: renumeration and royalties to cash app. I'm not saying it.

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Speaker 3: Fuck this dude, Wow, Fuck he's making real threats.

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Speaker 2: Now, this is Oh, he's got you on footage, He's.

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Speaker 3: Got He's got me by the goddamn balls and not

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Speaker 3: know what to do.

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Speaker 2: You could have been a Hollywood elite.

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Speaker 3: I was getting my cheeks clapped in Miami.

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Speaker 2: You should have never gone to Jamie Fox's house.

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Speaker 3: Me, God, damn it, Carlos. Look, man, let's just let's look.

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Speaker 3: I like, you can't spell Carlos. But but but beyond that,

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Speaker 3: you're clearly a very powerful individual in whatever uh little

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Speaker 3: community you live in. This you're obviously a very important man.

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Speaker 3: And we pray that that, despite your inadequacies, you're able

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Speaker 3: to find it in your heart to forgive us for

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Speaker 3: whatever whatever shame we may have put upon yours.

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Speaker 2: I just want to notice that he don't have no

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Speaker 2: videos of me here my cheeks.

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Speaker 3: As it as, you haven't discovered the beauty of getting

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Speaker 3: your chicks cut.

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Speaker 2: I guess that's it.

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Speaker 3: I'm just saying, you gotta meet Diddy, man, You just gotta.

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Speaker 3: He seems like a guy that can show you some things.

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Speaker 2: He knows some stuff. Yeah, So I mean what do

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Speaker 2: you have to say? I mean, I guess to me,

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Speaker 2: in my opinion, it's just you know, you keep doing you, Carlos,

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Speaker 2: and we'll keep doing us. And yeah, you know who

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Speaker 2: knows Christmas is coming or he's probably not a Christmas guy,

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Speaker 2: Quan's is coming. Maybe I hit the cash apt for ten.

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Speaker 3: Come on, man, anything can happen, Carlos, but you gotta

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Speaker 3: play a cool baby to ten dollars bribe keep you

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Speaker 3: from putting my illicit videos out?

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Speaker 2: He said, multiple videos. Fuck like he's got videos. Oh

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Speaker 2: so I like that. They said that your wife and

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Speaker 2: maybe even your kids.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't want to lose my kids, all of them.

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Speaker 2: Your wife's gonna go. She was gonna leave you with

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Speaker 2: the baby.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, then then the videos come out and she's like,

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Speaker 3: I can't leave a child here.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: She comes back agains, so she's like, I won't leave

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Speaker 2: my child in the house of somebody who hooked up

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Speaker 2: with probably some pretty cool guys.

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Speaker 3: His cheeks are too clapped to be around a child.

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Speaker 3: We're finding a new father.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, I mean that was that. That was it.

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Speaker 3: Carlos. We wish you as always, we wish you the best,

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Speaker 3: We wish you a merry Christmas and and and whatever

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Speaker 3: comes after that for you, Carlos, I don't know if

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Speaker 3: you even believe in the regular American calendar, so so

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Speaker 3: whatever is after that for you, that's we wish you

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Speaker 3: a happy.

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Speaker 2: One of those. Yes, sir, likes you got anything else

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Speaker 2: to tell the people? No sides your videos dropping.

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Speaker 3: Follow me at Langston Kerman on all the sites, especially

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Speaker 3: if you want to see me get my cheeks clapped.

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Speaker 3: I'm certainly going to retweet and repost that because all

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Speaker 3: press is good press, you know what I mean. And yeah,

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Speaker 3: that's that's everything you need to know. And oh, we

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Speaker 3: have a new merch we have you can buy the

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Speaker 3: merch now, go to my mama told me dot merchcentral

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Speaker 3: dot com where you can see all of our merch.

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Speaker 3: You can buy shit pre order now, but December tenth

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Speaker 3: you can buy it for real, for real and uh

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Speaker 3: and we want you to have all the sweet stuff,

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Speaker 3: so get it, okay.

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Speaker 2: You Yeah me, cool guy? Joke thirty seven. I'll be

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Speaker 2: around town January. Can week in January, I'll be in

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Speaker 2: Cleveland Hilarities. Week after that, I'll be in Seattle at

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Speaker 2: the Comedy Bar. But you know just look on Instagram

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Speaker 2: and I'll be doing stuff, you know, I mean, I'll

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Speaker 2: be hurried. Hell yeah.

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Speaker 3: And if you want to send us your own conspiracy theories,

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Speaker 3: if you want to send us your own drops, if

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Speaker 3: you want to send over a gift certificate that we

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Speaker 3: can forward to Carlos for Kuman or any of the

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Speaker 3: educational services available, send it all to my mama pod

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Speaker 3: at gmail dot com. We would love to hear from

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Speaker 3: you as always, like, subscribe, do whatever bullshit you need

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Speaker 3: to do to make this podcast. Stay afloat. We are,

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Speaker 3: we are desperate. The ship is sinking. If you don't

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Speaker 3: commit now, we're gonna fucking die. And it's all on

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Speaker 3: your shoulders. Let's let's get inside and start subscribing to everything.

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Speaker 3: God damn it, I'm sick of asking, all right, That's

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Speaker 3: that's the whole thing.

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Speaker 1: A bitch, motherfucking mini episode, mini episode, motherfucking mini episode,

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Speaker 1: motherfucking mini episode, mini episode, mother fucking mini episod