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Speaker 1: Happy International Women's Day. The ladies have taken over the mike.

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Speaker 1: Shirley Strawberry. That's me, Carla Farrell, that's her. Cheryl Underwood,

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Speaker 1: that is her right there, and Mississippi Monica has joined

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Speaker 1: us today. She's come from out of the shadows into

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Speaker 1: the light. I love it, Monica. We're so happy to

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Speaker 1: have you today. And Cheryl, of course, it's always a pleasure. Carla.

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Speaker 1: We ride or die every day, every day we're here.

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Speaker 1: We're here. We go both ways, girl, don't we? All right?

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Speaker 1: I think that that's very progressive. It's progressive. All right,

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Speaker 1: here we go. All right. I gotta tell you about this.

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Speaker 1: This is exciting coming up. Married to medicine and ob

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Speaker 1: GYN doctor Jackie Walters will be joining us next hour

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Speaker 1: to talk about women's health and wellness, very important to

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Speaker 1: us in our community. But right now and to all

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Speaker 1: women of course, right now, we're going to switch gears

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Speaker 1: because it is time for the Strawberry Letter. Okay, time

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Speaker 1: for the Strawberry Letter. If you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting,

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Speaker 1: and more, please submit your letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot

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Speaker 1: com and click submit Strawberry Letter. So Cheryl are you ready,

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Speaker 1: I'm ready. You know how we do it. I'll read

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Speaker 1: and give my response and you will go to break

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Speaker 1: come back, you give yours and we'll wrap this thing up.

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Speaker 1: This is a good one, though, a good one for

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Speaker 1: International Women's Day. Yeah, let's do that, because I'm glad

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Speaker 1: you wrote in we could be this could be your

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Speaker 1: letter right here that we're reading live. Go ahead, Carl

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Speaker 1: and do your thing. Girl, All right, here we go.

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Speaker 1: Buckle up it, hold on tight. It's time for the

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter. We're Shirley Strawberry, Cheryl on the wood. Thank you,

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Speaker 1: thank you, thank you, thank you. International Wisener's Day. Subject

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Speaker 1: Do I give up my dreams for my marriage? Dear Stephen, Shirley.

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Speaker 1: I worked from home as a corporate sales leader for

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Speaker 1: five years. In February, I quit my job to do

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Speaker 1: a podcast with two of my best girlfriends. Let me

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Speaker 1: give you a little backstory. My husband and I met

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Speaker 1: in college and got married when we were twenty four

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Speaker 1: and started a family. We had our first child when

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Speaker 1: we were twenty five, and our second child on my

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Speaker 1: twenty seventh birthday. I have a degree in mass communications,

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Speaker 1: and I've always wanted a radio job. Which is why

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Speaker 1: I want your advice. My husband was always pushing me

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Speaker 1: to work towards my goals, but he reminded me that

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Speaker 1: I had two small children that need me. He has

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Speaker 1: excelled in his real estate company and he coaches a

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Speaker 1: little league football team for our county. We're now thirty

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Speaker 1: years old and I'm ready to pursue my dreams of

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Speaker 1: connecting with an audience. So I got my girlfriends and

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Speaker 1: we decided to start a podcast as My husband was

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Speaker 1: supportive until he realized I would be from away from

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Speaker 1: the home two days a week. The ladies and I

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Speaker 1: had a photo shoot one Saturday and it took six hours.

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Speaker 1: My husband was irritated when I got home because he

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Speaker 1: had the children all day and he had to run

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Speaker 1: errands with them. I deal with that all the time,

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Speaker 1: so I tuned out his complaining. We record the podcast

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Speaker 1: in a studio on Tuesday and Thursday evenings, so I'm

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Speaker 1: usually gone most of the day to get ready for

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Speaker 1: the show and my husband has the kids. After only

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Speaker 1: two short weeks of me leaving him with the kids,

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Speaker 1: he decided that we needed to set up a home

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Speaker 1: studio for my podcast. I told him that I don't

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Speaker 1: want to do the podcast at home. I love getting

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Speaker 1: a break and the opportunity to work in peace and quiet.

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Speaker 1: There's so much tension at home. Now, Do I give

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Speaker 1: up my dreams for my marriage? Now? What do you

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Speaker 1: think we're gonna say this? Okay, especially on International Women's Day?

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Speaker 1: Absolutely not, Okay, that would be a big fat no.

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Speaker 1: Do not do that. Don't give up your dreams for anyone.

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Speaker 1: And don't let the fact that you have kids stop you.

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Speaker 1: I mean, Carl and I have kids. Women do it

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Speaker 1: all the time, all every day, all the time. You know.

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Speaker 1: It has to do with organization and how you juggle

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Speaker 1: and your support system all that. You can do this. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you've already done it. You can do it. Like I said,

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Speaker 1: women do it all the day, all the time. And

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Speaker 1: I was a single parent after my separation and my divorce,

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Speaker 1: I was a single parent. So you know you've got

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Speaker 1: a juggle. You can do it. I just had help,

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Speaker 1: all right, I had help. Your kids need to see you,

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Speaker 1: They need to see you working. They need to see

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Speaker 1: you passionate about what you're doing about life, your career.

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Speaker 1: Your husband is trying to guilt you, okay into doing it.

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Speaker 1: How he wants you to do it. Okay, do a

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Speaker 1: studio at home. Yeah, a lot of people do podcasts

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Speaker 1: at home. But you stayed it in the letter. You

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Speaker 1: don't want to do that. You want to get out

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Speaker 1: the house. And guess what? This is only for two

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Speaker 1: days a week, Tuesday and Thursday. He can't stay with

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Speaker 1: the kids two days a week. These are his kids too.

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Speaker 1: What the heck is he talking about here? I don't understand.

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Speaker 1: He needs to do his part. That means taking care

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Speaker 1: of the kids two days a week. What is that?

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Speaker 1: And they're his offspring? All right, this shouldn't be a

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Speaker 1: problem because he's doing so well as his real estate business.

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Speaker 1: You said that, right, So if there's a problem, perhaps

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Speaker 1: you know he can call in help or something. Speak

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Speaker 1: up for yourself, That's what I say. Find your voice,

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Speaker 1: Let your voice be heard in this marriage. Okay. I

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Speaker 1: hate it when people do this to each other. I

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Speaker 1: hate it when they get jealous or they get intimidated

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Speaker 1: or that. I don't like that. So you know, you

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Speaker 1: guys can work these things out. Just speak up for yourself, Cheryl,

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Speaker 1: go ahead. Well, I'm gonna need a whole another break,

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Speaker 1: so and I'm some backup Carla Farrell Missive, Monica, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna need y'all in this because what I'm gonna say

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Speaker 1: in the next break, it's all about your husband. You

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Speaker 1: need to wait till the other side of the break, Girl,

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Speaker 1: International Women's Day. Oh I had I had a mute

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Speaker 1: myself because what I'm gonna say on the other side

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Speaker 1: of the break, and I'm gonna need back up because

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Speaker 1: women are now yelling at they radio right now going

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Speaker 1: say that. We are going to all say that and

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Speaker 1: empower this woman. It's your husband. I'm sorry, all right, Cheryl,

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Speaker 1: hold that thought. Okay, we're gonna get to part two

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Speaker 1: of the Strawberry Letter with Cheryl Underwood's response at twenty

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Speaker 1: three minutes after the hour, the subject do I give

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Speaker 1: up my dreams for my marriage? We'll get back into

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Speaker 1: it right after this you're listening to all right, come on,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna recap the letter quickly, Cheryl. The subject is,

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Speaker 1: do I give up my dreams for my marriage? A

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Speaker 1: young lady wrote in she's thirty now. She wants to

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Speaker 1: do a podcast, but she has two kids and she

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Speaker 1: does a podcast two two times a week. She has

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Speaker 1: a husband who's been with her all this time they

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Speaker 1: met in college and everything. He gets upset and irritated

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Speaker 1: when she goes out to do her her job, her podcast,

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Speaker 1: because he doesn't like staying with his kids. So she

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Speaker 1: he wants her to bring a studio, to build a

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Speaker 1: studio in their home so she won't have to leave.

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Speaker 1: That's one of the reasons she's leaving because she wants

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Speaker 1: a break. Two days a week. There are seven days

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Speaker 1: in a week. The other five days she's got the kids, sir.

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Speaker 1: So anyway, that's that's pretty much the gist of this letter, Cheryl.

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Speaker 1: So you say what, she's a hostage. Get out as

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Speaker 1: fast as you can, your hostage them, your kids them,

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Speaker 1: not dude kids. Put them kids right in his lap,

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Speaker 1: peas and car. It's everything. And let him see because see,

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Speaker 1: he'd been out slaying dragons, he went out doing real

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Speaker 1: estate and everything, and she been holding it down and

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Speaker 1: he wants to keep her there. She has dreams. You

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Speaker 1: can have a happy marriage and have dreams. And I

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Speaker 1: want to know what's he liked that in college because

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Speaker 1: some of us we you know, we go out for

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Speaker 1: that happily ever after and we're married to do and

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Speaker 1: he doesn't evolve, but we have evolved and we're ready

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Speaker 1: to do some more things. But you want me to

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Speaker 1: stay over him, be a hostese What you mean a

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Speaker 1: couple of hours with your kids. We wouldn't half on

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Speaker 1: the baby. These are your kids. You need to keep

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Speaker 1: the kids. And this podcast one. If my podcasts blow

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Speaker 1: up and I'm worth hundreds of millions of dollars, then

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Speaker 1: you're gonna want to come over him and do something

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Speaker 1: with somebody. Sister. Let me just tell you something. I

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Speaker 1: know you love him, I know you love it. See,

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Speaker 1: I thought about that should describe man. But I don't

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Speaker 1: believe in divorce. I believe until death do us fart

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Speaker 1: you first, because I ain't going nowhere. I got married

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Speaker 1: in front of my freeings. I got half a cake

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Speaker 1: in the freezer. This is not the end of this relationship. Sometimes, Cheryl, Oh, listen,

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Speaker 1: you're talking to a widow. You're talking to something about

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Speaker 1: it else. You tell about some Yeah, right over right

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Speaker 1: over at Callahans on Sandy first and hasted. I know

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Speaker 1: where my husband got laid to rest fail you. Well,

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Speaker 1: I pity the food, but for this right here, and

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Speaker 1: I want I want Carl, I want you to come

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Speaker 1: jump in this and Monica, I want you to jump

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Speaker 1: in this because listen, we love our men, and especially

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Speaker 1: when we meet them young, and we have these hopes

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Speaker 1: and these dreams, and they make it seem like I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna do this, and then you gonna go get choice,

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Speaker 1: and then when I go to try to get mine,

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Speaker 1: you make it seem like you don't. You don't forgot

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Speaker 1: on the snuggle tip. What we were talking about over

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Speaker 1: at the Zanz the Bar in the fifteen minute, did

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Speaker 1: I say too much off Stony Island? It came out.

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Speaker 1: It did right right across street from Sweet Georgia Brown

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Speaker 1: shout out right around. But I'm telling you we all

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Speaker 1: failed for this. Where the dude was we were talking

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Speaker 1: about what we gonna do together, but really he was

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Speaker 1: talking about what he was gonna do for himself. And

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Speaker 1: then when I've done my part and I want to

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Speaker 1: get out in the world and see about my dreams

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Speaker 1: and I don't want to lose my family because I

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Speaker 1: love you, and then you show me who you are.

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Speaker 1: Is that the man that I fell in love with?

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Speaker 1: Carl Parell, you say what absolutely, Cheryl, I agree with

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Speaker 1: you one hundred percent. I agree with what Shirley is

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Speaker 1: saying one hundred percent. I mean, this woman has a

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Speaker 1: degree in mass communications, and so do I. I have

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Speaker 1: a degree in mass communication. So she went to school

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Speaker 1: for this. This is her passion, this is her dream.

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Speaker 1: And you mean to tell me that she's looking at

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Speaker 1: her husband, her man as a dream killer. You're dream crushing.

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Speaker 1: We are as one when we get married, we are

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Speaker 1: as one, our union are as one. You should be

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Speaker 1: right there with me. I'm right there with you, supporting you,

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Speaker 1: and you should be right there with me. Support team

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Speaker 1: my dreams, and support team your wife and your kids.

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Speaker 1: Like you're doing me a face watching the kids. These

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Speaker 1: are your kids too. You need to be a part

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Speaker 1: of it. Yeah. Yeah, I got set up for the

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Speaker 1: oaky doge. To me, that's what and that's the issues.

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Speaker 1: He should be. But the reality is he's not. He

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Speaker 1: should be, you know, that's what we signed up for.

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Speaker 1: Go ahead, Monica. Well, in my situation, I was in

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Speaker 1: a similar situation when I got when I started working

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Speaker 1: with you guys, I was working from home for six

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Speaker 1: years and it was fine with the guy was dating

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Speaker 1: because I was home during the day and you know,

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Speaker 1: we could run around and play and you know, but

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Speaker 1: I had to go to work now, and he's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: well that job is too demanding and you're there too long,

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Speaker 1: and you know, I'm like, okay, but this is what

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Speaker 1: I chose to do. So it's like you either find

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Speaker 1: you something to do or you know, we can't see

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Speaker 1: each other. And then you know the stress of him

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Speaker 1: always well why are you always gone? And why are

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Speaker 1: you dressing? Why are you doing this? And why are

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Speaker 1: you doing that? Now you're traveling. It just felled by

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Speaker 1: the wayside because I lost interest in the constant need

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Speaker 1: for him to control where I was security going. You

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Speaker 1: know why I wanted to do that. He was very insecure.

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Speaker 1: And then I was around you guys who are radio

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Speaker 1: my coins and you know legends and oh what you

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Speaker 1: must like this and you must like that, Yes, yes

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Speaker 1: I do. So you know I'm not gonna do play

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Speaker 1: any of that or for you know, push anything I

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Speaker 1: want to do to the wayside for him. So he

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Speaker 1: finally he kind of got the clue and well, can

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Speaker 1: I say, can I say this before we go? Because

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Speaker 1: I want to say this. I believe in marriage, and

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Speaker 1: I believe if I'm not an asset to my man

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Speaker 1: and my family, then I will remove myself. I think

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Speaker 1: there is some discussion to be had, but he is

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Speaker 1: going to have to understand this is her time now.

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Speaker 1: And if you are really the man that she fell

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Speaker 1: in love and who she married, and the father of

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Speaker 1: the children and the head of the household, then be

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Speaker 1: a man stand by your woman when she ad to

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Speaker 1: do her dream, because you've been doing your dream and

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Speaker 1: she's been supporting you. All right, this calls for a

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Speaker 1: part three. I think of the Strawberry Letter. Today, we're

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Speaker 1: going to continue this conversation. Please, this is international. We

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Speaker 1: could do it. We run the mic today, right, this

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Speaker 1: is an international Woman's Day. We'll be back right after this.

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Speaker 1: You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show. All right.

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Speaker 1: This kind of sparked a conversation. We were having it

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Speaker 1: before we went to break and off the air as well.

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Speaker 1: It had something to do with the Strawberry letter. Do

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Speaker 1: I give up my dreams for my marriage? And Cheryl,

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Speaker 1: I think when we left off you were saying you

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Speaker 1: were telling her, don't let her husband be a dream killer.

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Speaker 1: These are her dreams. She wanted to see them come

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Speaker 1: to fruition. Otherwise you're living in a nightmare. I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: If you don't get to live out your dreams and

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Speaker 1: the things you have in your heart, your purpose and

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Speaker 1: all of that, your goals, because someone is trying to

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Speaker 1: hold you down. And the person you would not think

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Speaker 1: that would be doing that your husband. You're the closest

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Speaker 1: person to you. You know, there's a problem that that's

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Speaker 1: a nightmare. That is a nightmare. And that's what that's

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Speaker 1: what I called a relationship. Okay, dope us. When we

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Speaker 1: was falling in love, we were talking about all these

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Speaker 1: things we were gonna do together, all these things you

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Speaker 1: agree with and maybe you can do this, and I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna help you do this. Now. I think he even

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Speaker 1: tried to I think he tried to soften about Okay,

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Speaker 1: we're gonna make a studio in the house. But that

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Speaker 1: still ties me to the house you're not to get

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Speaker 1: out of. And she deserves that, and she deserves two

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Speaker 1: days a week out of seven. You can't handle your

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Speaker 1: kids two days a week that you know? I think

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Speaker 1: that you also beautiful, don't you agree? No matter? I mean,

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Speaker 1: let me just say, marriage is work. Yes, marriage is work,

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Speaker 1: but it's a two way street. It's a two way street.

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Speaker 1: My husband is a mortgage alone officer, you know, for

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Speaker 1: Wells Fargo. And he has a very demanding job too.

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Speaker 1: I have a job. I have a very demanding job.

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Speaker 1: So we come together as one as I and building

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Speaker 1: our empire, our dreams. What do you want? What do

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Speaker 1: you want? And we come together as one to try

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Speaker 1: to pursue our dreams, to grow our emprior to grow

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Speaker 1: our family. What are our long term goals? What are

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Speaker 1: your short term goals? So for him as her king,

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Speaker 1: as her husband, to just basically tell her no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: that is a serious that is a serious problem. And

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Speaker 1: marriage is about compromise, right And let me say this,

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Speaker 1: this happened, not to interrupt your color, but this happens

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Speaker 1: way more than we think. Okay, this goes on in

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Speaker 1: marriages all the time, all the time, you know. And

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Speaker 1: it's always us, the women who usually take the backseat.

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Speaker 1: And you know, we have that mommy guilt. Every mom

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Speaker 1: has it. We have that guilt. We want to be

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Speaker 1: there for the kids and do what's right for the kids.

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Speaker 1: And like you say, this is a compromise. It's supposed

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Speaker 1: to be a compromise. Each person, you know, having the

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Speaker 1: other's back, supporting other and all of that and that's

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Speaker 1: why I tell her to find her voice and speak up.

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Speaker 1: Keep ignoring this man, keep doing don't do it disrespectfully.

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Speaker 1: But do you book the kids? The yo kids too.

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Speaker 1: We went half on the baby. This is fun, ladies,

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Speaker 1: but we got to switch gears here. Coming up at

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Speaker 1: the top of the hour, we're gonna switch and talk

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Speaker 1: to doctor Jackie Walters. She's going to be our special guest.

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Speaker 1: We're going to talk about women's health. Right after this,

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Speaker 1: you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.