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Speaker 1: Private Kevin Elliott was killed fighting in Afghanistan. His friend

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Speaker 1: Barry and him made a promise that if one of

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Speaker 1: them died, they'd wear a bright green dress to the

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Speaker 1: other one's funeral. Barry stayed true to the promise.

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Speaker 2: That is the saddest, funniest picture, but mostly sad. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but like man is literally breaking down in this tight,

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Speaker 2: tight green dress.

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Speaker 1: He looks like he looks like he just came out

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Speaker 1: of like two thousand and eight, like Lady Gaga concert.

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Speaker 1: I feel like I so, I feel like it's it

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Speaker 1: looks so sad. But I'm guessing they did this because

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Speaker 1: it's like, all right, if one of us goes, it's

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Speaker 1: going to be sad, so like we should at least

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Speaker 1: have a laugh.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we're at it right.

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Speaker 2: And ideally this guy is having the last laugh. I

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Speaker 2: mean hopefully. I don't know how hard he's laughing right there.

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Speaker 2: He's laughing so hard he's literally on his knees. That's true,

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Speaker 2: he's just the laughter. Sorry for your loss. Yeah, Actually

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Speaker 2: this video was lacking sound fixed now it's like neighbors

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Speaker 2: that hate each other, that's true?

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Speaker 3: Is this real? Is that? Are these is that?

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Speaker 2: Actually?

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Speaker 3: No?

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Speaker 1: But like is it is it like a like a

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Speaker 1: three thousand gg zoom of a like se floor.

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Speaker 2: Like I think they're like little sea snakes, little c

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Speaker 2: sea snake turds, because I mean, well, and what are

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Speaker 2: these things more sea snake turds?

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Speaker 3: Do what?

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Speaker 1: I just want to know, like what these actually are

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Speaker 1: because they look they look real.

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Speaker 2: I think they are, so John, just explain what's happening here? Okay,

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Speaker 2: I think these are real snake. Yes, however, as you

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Speaker 2: can maybe here with within a tune marine biologist ear, Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that is actually not the noise of sea snake makes

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Speaker 2: no it is it is you.

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Speaker 1: You literally can do nothing to convince me that that

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Speaker 1: is not the sound that exactly came out of their

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Speaker 1: little frickin'.

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Speaker 2: I think that's what sea snakes here, you know. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but there are two sea snake ears here.

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Speaker 3: I think you're still dead wrong.

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Speaker 1: I think that they're I mean, look how fully formed

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Speaker 1: that Look how long their esophagus is. I mean, they

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Speaker 1: have so much room for guttural you.

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Speaker 2: Know what else they got room for?

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Speaker 3: Tell me unintentional hmm yellows? God wait wait, I can't

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Speaker 3: do that.

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Speaker 2: He accidentally knocked it out of the ref's hands, like, come.

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Speaker 3: On, you're telling me.

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Speaker 1: So he was gonna get the yellow card and that

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Speaker 1: he's like and he bopped it out of his handsopped it.

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Speaker 2: He accidentally bought the yellow card and.

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Speaker 3: How he got the red card?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, honestly, it's like, oh, you know, like this God?

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Speaker 2: How about this God? Is this your card?

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Speaker 3: Can we fire him?

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Speaker 1: Can we fire the ref Can we find his home

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Speaker 1: and just like flood it with red cards?

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Speaker 2: And I think I think we should send him it's

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Speaker 2: it's Valentine's Day. I think we should send him a

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Speaker 2: bunch of love letter red cards?

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Speaker 3: Can we?

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Speaker 1: Can we do it while he's asleep, so he just

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Speaker 1: like wakes up in a sea of red and he

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Speaker 1: just can't move and he's just like pressing a.

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Speaker 2: Bed like John. That sounds way worse. Wake up in

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Speaker 2: a sea of red. John's going to murder this recorree.

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Speaker 1: See, I was trying to be cute and metaphorical about it,

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Speaker 1: but now you just gave me awaytail.

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Speaker 3: All right, thank you, jail, thank you, thank you. Tail.

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Speaker 3: All right, I'm going to jail, but we're going to

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Speaker 3: this next.

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Speaker 2: Book drew a face on my TV because it looked

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Speaker 2: like it needed it yo, low key mmmmmmmmmmmmm. Okay, that

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Speaker 2: thing has moves. So I know we see a face,

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Speaker 2: I know we see.

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Speaker 1: A body, but I can't lie. First thing I see

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Speaker 1: is these audacious coves.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you see titties. I did not even.

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Speaker 4: Oh god, oh yeah, get on like a freaking block milker.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, do you want a milk sam, Yes, I do,

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Speaker 4: packed with protein, packed with iron for sure. Oh god,

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Speaker 4: I got an iron deficiency and I'm about to suck

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Speaker 4: one out of me.

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Speaker 1: Also, so this to me is kind of like the bones,

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Speaker 1: maybe the yeah, the cheeks. But then we got this

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Speaker 1: whole tube situation going on, which.

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Speaker 2: Leads me to be a lady. Well, it's definitely a lady.

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Speaker 1: This triangle right here between the boobs and the triangle,

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Speaker 1: this is a robot lady TV backstand.

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Speaker 2: And damn does it turn me off? God, he forgot

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Speaker 2: he was being watched.

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Speaker 3: Oh what's he doing? Okay?

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Speaker 2: Is playing as ar game?

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Speaker 3: All right?

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Speaker 2: Oh kid, bron, what are you doing?

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Speaker 3: Dude? Hold on, hold on, we got to rewind that one.

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Speaker 3: Come on. So we at first he's like, hey, hey,

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Speaker 3: how you doing.

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Speaker 2: I'm a nice guy. I'm just trying to touch your face.

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Speaker 2: You know, I'm blind trying to see, and then he

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Speaker 2: went straight for the milker's. He's like four years old,

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Speaker 2: he's barely off his mom's teeth and already going for

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Speaker 2: some more.

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Speaker 1: I mean maybe he was like, hey, mommy, you pulled

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Speaker 1: me off too early.

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Speaker 3: I'm still a growing.

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Speaker 2: Boeing needs some of that milk, bomy, I.

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Speaker 3: Need that new tree.

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Speaker 1: God, that sound in my ears is exactly what I

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Speaker 1: want to hear. Hey, Sam doesn't have to hear my

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Speaker 1: sounds anymore. But now, oh no, I guess you do.

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Speaker 3: Get mad at me for turning you on job. You know, Uh,

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Speaker 3: it's it's it's it's just what comes out.

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Speaker 2: You can't I hear. It's hard.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it is hard. It's really hard, boying. Let's see

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Speaker 1: what's boinging?

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Speaker 2: Oh oh yeah, oh, put that slow mo music over

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Speaker 2: that his hat. It's going from a hat to a

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Speaker 2: that's crazy a mushroom. I guess this is also a hat.

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Speaker 2: Now it looks like braids. That looks like a pair

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Speaker 2: of testicles. Yeah yeah, really, that man got too bad

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Speaker 2: right there. See it looks so different dude when it's fast.

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Speaker 1: Hold on, look at those dude, the screenshots. Hold on,

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Speaker 1: Hold on. I think you might have to get that checked.

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Speaker 3: Buddy.

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Speaker 1: That's a little uh, that's a little suspect. Also his face, honestly,

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Speaker 1: I was taking some testicles to the face. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: like a champion. You got to give it up to him.

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Speaker 1: Also the hat, I love the hat. Oh yeah, this

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Speaker 1: is like like a Vogue fashion shoke some of twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty three.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: A billion dollars. This is like an egghead.

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Speaker 3: This is a mega mind. Yeah, I had mega mine.

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Speaker 2: I guess. Divorce parties are a thing.

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Speaker 3: Stop it.

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Speaker 2: Tim and Laurie are getting divorced. Wait at the top,

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Speaker 2: it says they tried to tie the not and gave

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Speaker 2: it their best shot. But Tim and Laurie are getting

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Speaker 2: a divorce. Come celebrate the end of a horrible marriage

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Speaker 2: and the return of a good friendship. Ha ha, Oh my goodness.

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Speaker 1: I mean half of me, half of me is wanting

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Speaker 1: to believe that. Either Tim or Lorie was like like

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Speaker 1: wanting to like put their other person on blast. And

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Speaker 1: they're like, oh no, Like I'm like no, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: tell everyone.

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Speaker 2: So we're telling everyone we're getting divorced.

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Speaker 3: They sent that.

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Speaker 2: Way, John, there's one more line. Do you see what

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Speaker 2: it says. No, read it to me, baby, plus ones

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Speaker 2: are welcome, hours will be there. Yo, they both already

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Speaker 2: found other people. I mean how quickly after? Like how

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Speaker 2: long is this divorce process taken? Because like, if you.

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Speaker 1: Already have partners picked up quick, you're literally just this

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Speaker 1: is the announcement party. This is the announcement that it's

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Speaker 1: happening you already have. I don't know, some s fishy

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Speaker 1: over here. I you know, there's probably a reason they

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Speaker 1: got divorce. Maybe they were both cheating on each other,

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Speaker 1: found out and they're like, ah shit, I guess we

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Speaker 1: both don't love each other anymore.

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Speaker 2: We should just be friends. Let's throw a divorce party

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Speaker 2: where we can bring our new side pieces that will

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Speaker 2: become our main pieces.

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Speaker 1: If you're both divorcing each other and cheating on each other,

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Speaker 1: are you mad? Do they cancel each other out?

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Speaker 2: See? The thing is I think it actually does cancel

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Speaker 2: each other out, which is why they're able to laugh

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Speaker 2: and throw a party about it. Okay, Okay, it seems

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Speaker 2: like they both found someone new, so like they're.

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Speaker 1: Chilling or they're just viciously blackmailing to the other person.

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Speaker 1: I choose to believe that. Wait, wait what Look at

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Speaker 1: the date. Has it happened yet? It's Mark's fourth twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty three. Okay, so Tim and Laurie, can you invite us?

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Speaker 3: Let me rephrase that. Can you invite me? And Sam?

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Speaker 3: Is my plus one?

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Speaker 2: So down?

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Speaker 3: Damn? Think of a card? Any card?

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Speaker 2: Now, shuffle the deck in your mind.

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Speaker 3: Okay?

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Speaker 2: Is this your card? Seven of diamonds?

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Speaker 5: Oh?

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Speaker 3: A couple of thousand of you? Just yet it wrong?

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Speaker 2: That was my card. I thought of a card and

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Speaker 2: it was seven of diamonds. Really card, any card seven

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Speaker 2: of diamonds? That shuffle of the deck in your mind?

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Speaker 1: Whoa seven of diamonds, seven of diamonds card?

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Speaker 3: That's the card?

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Speaker 2: Magic?

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Speaker 3: Magic?

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Speaker 2: Magic is real? I guess a rainbow here?

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Speaker 3: Magic. That's impressive.

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Speaker 2: Hey dude, I'm impressed.

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Speaker 3: I'm impressed.

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Speaker 1: I'm floored, and I want more. Well, I got more

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Speaker 1: for you. My roommate keeps bringing girls over. So I

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Speaker 1: made a survey. Okay, I see your roommate sounds like

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Speaker 1: a chad. Oh my god, Isaac's poist coidal soyveet. Oh,

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Speaker 1: let's see what we got over here? God, let me

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Speaker 1: see this one is for quality assurance slash quality improvement.

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Speaker 1: Please answer honestly on a scale from one to ten,

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Speaker 1: with ten being completely satisfied. How satisfied were you expecting

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Speaker 1: to be?

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Speaker 3: Damn? Expecting to be?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and only goes up to six.

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Speaker 1: Damn cause five to five. You know it's a five scale.

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Speaker 1: Ten you know it's a ten scale. Maybe that's a

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Speaker 1: euphemism for No.

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Speaker 2: I think it's saying it's on a scale of one

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Speaker 2: to ten. The highest it's ever possibly gonna go is

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Speaker 2: a six.

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Speaker 3: That's true.

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Speaker 2: My man's dick game.

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Speaker 3: Not that?

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Speaker 2: Ay, it ain't it?

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Speaker 3: Question? Is it? Is it that? And or the inches

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Speaker 3: you've got?

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Speaker 2: Hmmm?

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Speaker 3: Maybe it's one and the same six inches? That's you

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Speaker 3: know you're backing something.

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Speaker 1: How would you describe your satisfaction with this interaction? Circle one?

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00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:23,800
Speaker 1: Not at all satisfied, slightly satisfied, and somewhat satisfied. Damn,

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Speaker 1: my man does not get any very satisfied. No, No,

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Speaker 1: is he trying to He's trying to steal these girls.

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Speaker 2: I think Op is jealous his roommates. That's just boning.

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Speaker 2: Dude sucks. It's fucked city in.

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Speaker 1: There is godn mill violent. Are you planning to return

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Speaker 1: in the future? Circle one. Absolutely not possibly, I'd prefer

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Speaker 1: not to answer. That's the final freaking choice.

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Speaker 2: There's I think there's something below though.

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Speaker 3: Hold on, oh no, oh.

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Speaker 2: See there it is.

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Speaker 3: You know, bro, you only get this is the this

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Speaker 3: is the maximum he gives. He gives our man.

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Speaker 1: This man is definitely jealous, so jealous, and he's like,

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Speaker 1: how can I, bro?

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Speaker 3: You know he should be doing with all this time?

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Speaker 3: Ask him how to get game?

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Speaker 1: Bron, you want to talk about taking notes in a survey.

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Speaker 3: Take some notes in a survey of him on how

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Speaker 3: he's getting women.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I pretended to be a car and they rolled

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Speaker 2: with it. No, I'm not letting you have that one. Reddit,

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Speaker 2: Let's see it. I like that one. What is going on?

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Speaker 2: Look at that swag.

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Speaker 3: Ye rotation?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, Oh my god, dude, those are some

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Speaker 1: dedicated rotators.

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Speaker 2: Why why why why are they there?

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Speaker 3: Okay?

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Speaker 1: So also I thought at the beginning, if if if

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Speaker 1: anyone's in band, shout out to all my band neards

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Speaker 1: out there. There's the color Guard, which like they flip

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Speaker 1: flags and stuff and rifles. I literally thought that's what

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Speaker 1: they were, which is usually a group of like thirty women.

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Speaker 4: Like after a night of drinking like boys. I know

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Speaker 4: what we gotta do tonight. We're gonna go with the

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Speaker 4: parking lot, get all of our flags.

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Speaker 2: Get all of our hive invests, and do full rotation,

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Speaker 2: full rotation, full rotation, all that.

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Speaker 1: I have to hear that one more time.

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Speaker 2: Man, look at that rotation.

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Speaker 3: I like you could make that a to a song.

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Speaker 2: Oh vota, full rotation, full rotation, full rotation, full rotation, rotation,

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Speaker 2: full rotation, full rotation, full rotation, full rotation.

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Speaker 1: The boy celebrating a man who went out with a bang.

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Speaker 1: Let's see what kind of bang are we talking about?

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Speaker 6: Got a job?

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Speaker 5: No more?

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Speaker 3: Oh my god? Extreme orgasms?

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Speaker 2: What does it say? What does it say?

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Speaker 3: Wait? Here we go?

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Speaker 2: Man dies during sex? Extreme orgasm deferment is the cause

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Speaker 2: of death.

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Speaker 3: I mean maybe.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so now we have to guess how that happened.

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Speaker 1: I'm guessing he literally at the moment of climax, he

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Speaker 1: was shooting so hard he literally like a rocket, just

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Speaker 1: like like his his dong was a rocket, and he

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Speaker 1: flew backwards like in a cartoon, went through the wall

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Speaker 1: and just was like crushed.

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Speaker 2: Okay, excellent theory, but I think I actually know what happened.

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Speaker 2: Tell me all right, he was he was doing nasty.

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Speaker 2: He's going and nasty, he's going back and forth. Huh,

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00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:24,600
Speaker 2: about to explode. Shoots his load, right, but it's such

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Speaker 2: a thick load, and it's so sticky that then it

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Speaker 2: starts pulling his balls out. Then it starts pulling his intestines,

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Speaker 2: and before you know it, all of it is. Intestines

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Speaker 2: are kind of like Spider manned out around the room.

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Speaker 2: His heart, his lungs, everything, all of his insides come

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Speaker 2: out and they're all like attached to one another.

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Speaker 1: Sam, Why is it every time we watch one of

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Speaker 1: these things? I want to vomit? There's always something in

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Speaker 1: one of these sessions that I want to lose my lunch.

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Speaker 2: Which I just dive from an orgasm in a beautiful

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Speaker 2: leg in.

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Speaker 1: A blast of glory, that finest shot of shot.

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Speaker 2: Period space, blast into space.

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Speaker 1: Honestly, I will say that, I mean, if if you

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Speaker 1: do have to go, I would I would want to

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Speaker 1: be ninety though, and just go out by the extream,

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Speaker 1: the big O, the big bang and the big Oh.

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Speaker 2: Okay, when you travel back in time and meet your

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Speaker 2: younger self, okay.

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Speaker 6: O, huh oh, there we go, hey, old guy, Hey,

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Speaker 6: there he goes.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, oh goodness, why am I so aroused?

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Speaker 3: There he is? Oh what, bro? Do you see what

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Speaker 3: he's doing? Oh? Hold on, hold on, stop tempting me, okay, God.

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Speaker 2: From an orgasm.

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Speaker 1: God, I literally thought that he was you know how,

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Speaker 1: like there's like street performers that like look like they're

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Speaker 1: sitting on air. I literally thought that he was floating

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Speaker 1: when he was doing where is it? Oh the backwards

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Speaker 1: when he was doing this. Oh tell me, he literally

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Speaker 1: looks like he's floating right there.

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Speaker 2: I know how to dance.

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Speaker 3: I mean, damn.

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Speaker 1: Now, I'm kind of sad that I saw the cane.

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Speaker 1: I wish, I wish I could just believe me. I

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Speaker 1: thought he was Mary Poppins. Yeah, I mean an old

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Speaker 1: man floating dancing on the middle of the street.

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Speaker 2: That was a wizard.

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Speaker 3: That would make me. I could die happy with.

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Speaker 2: That, honestly, either the orgasm or watching this man dance

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Speaker 2: one or the other.

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Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I see the man. I'm like, I'm ready.

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Speaker 2: Put me into the me and my bowie at the party.

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Speaker 2: Let's hear this, presh okay.

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Speaker 3: That you make up? I don't just press oh, don't

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Speaker 3: live all right? John Core here. Who is are you

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Speaker 3: picking me up? A babe? Okay you picked me up?

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Speaker 5: All right?

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00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:44,520
Speaker 3: It is yeah, okay pick me up?

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00:19:45,920 --> 00:20:02,320
Speaker 5: Oh oh my god, yeah.

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00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:02,080
Speaker 2: Whoa, Oh my god, damn football fans help hitch invader

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Speaker 2: escape security.

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Speaker 3: Interesting.

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00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:10,600
Speaker 2: Oh god, this is a blast of my ear drums.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god.

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00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,640
Speaker 3: Oh wow, look at him.

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Speaker 7: Go yeah, oh he's done. They're coming for him. Come on, baby,

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00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:34,480
Speaker 7: come on.

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Speaker 2: He's using the scarf.

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Speaker 3: There we go. He's using a scarf on. Oh they

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00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,400
Speaker 3: got a scarf too. He's the Indiana Jonas.

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Speaker 1: Oh wow, he escaped a free bad dude. That that is?

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Speaker 1: That is impressive. Wow, because they think about it. They

351
00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,240
Speaker 1: could have just let him.

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00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:59,359
Speaker 2: No get arrested or like woa man probably arrested and

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Speaker 2: get a fire. But that's why you always care. That's

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Speaker 2: why you always carry a scarf.

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Speaker 1: That is true. That's why and everyone around you has

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00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:10,280
Speaker 1: to carry a scarf. This is a multi scarf like

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00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:13,159
Speaker 1: dedicated like a chain of them we can pull. You

358
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:16,760
Speaker 1: can basically like be like Rapunzel. You can escape any situation. Also,

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00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:21,160
Speaker 1: what are these guards doing? Like you could have literally

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00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,960
Speaker 1: caught your boy. You were just out here like taking

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00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,359
Speaker 1: a nap, like look at this guy. He's literally walking

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00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:27,439
Speaker 1: in the opposite direction.

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Speaker 2: I don't think they get paid it of Yeah, chase.

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00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 1: This dude, I'm not I'm not gonna chase this bloody

365
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:35,280
Speaker 1: sucker down.

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Speaker 3: I'm just guessing they're the UK. The UK. It's the

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Speaker 3: bitch runner in the.

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00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:46,800
Speaker 2: Football fans have escape security.

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Speaker 3: All of our British fans. You're welcome for us.

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00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:52,760
Speaker 2: To for your for your One of our early podcast

371
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:55,320
Speaker 2: reviews was like, why so much British hate?

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00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:58,360
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, dude, we had a we had a great

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Speaker 1: streak of British hate. Now thank you for reminding me.

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Speaker 1: Now let's bring it back. Let's bring it back.

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Speaker 2: We were trying to make the whole UK.

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Speaker 1: Not okay, exactly exactly. I am all ears baby hone.

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Speaker 3: Wow, let's say oh.

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00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:27,600
Speaker 1: Oh oh god, oh so sultry.

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Speaker 3: You know, girl, I had a great.

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Speaker 6: Time last night.

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Speaker 3: Oh god, I'm not right now. It feels like you're

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Speaker 3: right beside me. Wow, I really want.

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Speaker 2: You to at that time around.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, welcome to the jungle.

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Speaker 1: I don't want any ovorse man.

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Speaker 3: Oh name.

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Speaker 1: The executor I can get back to put you on

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Speaker 1: your back.

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Speaker 5: Wow.

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00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,679
Speaker 3: Yes that was beautiful.

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Speaker 1: I mean so like, so many things come to mind here. One,

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00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:08,200
Speaker 1: my mom is going to hear this when she'd I

393
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Speaker 1: don't pick.

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Speaker 3: Up her call. Okay, not that I'm not picking up

395
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Speaker 3: pulse for my mom, but you know.

396
00:23:12,760 --> 00:23:16,920
Speaker 2: Everyone to make sure you're not screening your mom.

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Speaker 3: That is true.

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00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:20,600
Speaker 1: Actually, mothers should have every son set this so that

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00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:22,880
Speaker 1: way they all of a sudden like, okay, I can't

400
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:26,280
Speaker 1: let her hear this, like lay back on my back. Also,

401
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:30,959
Speaker 1: I love how this guy is in the most like sultry,

402
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:32,840
Speaker 1: sexy real for a.

403
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:37,000
Speaker 2: Voicemail turned on. I'm about to have an orgasmic death.

404
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:39,640
Speaker 3: Like I feel like everything goes back to.

405
00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:43,720
Speaker 2: The archistic death and I believe that's the last one, and.

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Speaker 3: I think that is it.

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Speaker 5: Sho.

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00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:48,280
Speaker 2: But if you like this, let us know. This is

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00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:49,520
Speaker 2: the second time we're doing this.

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00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,680
Speaker 3: Let us know what you think. Throw it into comments