1 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:06,400 Speaker 1: Conversations on life, style, beauty, and relationships. It's the Velvet's 2 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:10,520 Speaker 1: Edge podcast with Kelly Henderson, Okay, Jacob Melissa here, and 3 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:12,840 Speaker 1: we were just starting in to break up conversations and 4 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,960 Speaker 1: I was like, hold on, y'all, we we got us. 5 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:17,840 Speaker 1: We gotta start recording because sometimes I get in these 6 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:20,279 Speaker 1: conversations and I do the podcast before the podcast, and 7 00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:21,880 Speaker 1: I want the people to hear all the two cy 8 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:27,200 Speaker 1: details you know. Yeah, hi you guys. First of all, 9 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:29,520 Speaker 1: Jake Wondard has been on the podcast a couple of times. 10 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:31,560 Speaker 1: If you guys haven't listened to those. We talk a 11 00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:35,080 Speaker 1: lot about masculine and feminine energy and he's really helped 12 00:00:35,159 --> 00:00:38,920 Speaker 1: me to start understanding maybe you know what my healing 13 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:41,160 Speaker 1: journey with both of those things needs to start looking 14 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:44,919 Speaker 1: like and Melissa to similar work, which I am newer too, 15 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:47,879 Speaker 1: but really really loving and really loving all of the 16 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:50,960 Speaker 1: feminine energy wisdom that you come with. It's so amazing 17 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:53,240 Speaker 1: for me. So thank you both for being here today. 18 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:56,560 Speaker 1: I'm really excited to talk to you together. This is exciting. 19 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 1: This is our first time doing it together, is it really? Yeah? 20 00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:05,160 Speaker 1: Do not our first time doing it, but you know 21 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:13,160 Speaker 1: what I mean? The podcast after that, after the show time, Right, Hey, 22 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:14,960 Speaker 1: this is velvets edge. You can get away with a 23 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,800 Speaker 1: couple of things a little edge. How did you come 24 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:21,720 Speaker 1: up with velvet edge anyway? I mean when we first started, 25 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:24,120 Speaker 1: I started with a partner and we were looking for 26 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:26,480 Speaker 1: words that kind of worked in both of our industries. 27 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:29,000 Speaker 1: She was an interior designer and I do hair, makeup 28 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,440 Speaker 1: and styling, and so we were like, what words. We 29 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:34,400 Speaker 1: came up with so many bad names like lipstick couch 30 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:36,240 Speaker 1: like that was one of them that could work in 31 00:01:36,319 --> 00:01:45,120 Speaker 1: book scenarios, right, that, ain't it? Um? But then we 32 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:47,440 Speaker 1: landed on velvet's edge because they were two words that 33 00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:51,440 Speaker 1: worked together for different meanings in both of our industries. 34 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:53,600 Speaker 1: And then you know, she has since moved on and 35 00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:55,800 Speaker 1: had kids and couldn't keep up with all of this 36 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:58,520 Speaker 1: and a business and so um. When I took it 37 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:01,320 Speaker 1: over for me, it just became more about how everyone 38 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:04,560 Speaker 1: possesses both a soft and an edgy side. I think 39 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:06,720 Speaker 1: we all have both, and so it kind of just 40 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:10,040 Speaker 1: stuck and still works. You Know. It's interesting, is that's 41 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:13,120 Speaker 1: actually the balance of the masculine and the feminine. Yn't 42 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:16,280 Speaker 1: even ask about that myself. As like the edgy one, 43 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:21,600 Speaker 1: where Melissa's like the softer one, masculine. It's very interesting 44 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:24,520 Speaker 1: that balance that is. I never thought about it that way, 45 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:26,680 Speaker 1: and maybe we all have that a little bit in 46 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:30,080 Speaker 1: ourselves too, right, that's the whole point of integrating this 47 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:33,560 Speaker 1: to Wow, we'll see you didn't even know well. I 48 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:36,680 Speaker 1: think a lot of people in general talk about the 49 00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:40,080 Speaker 1: positives of relationships and like the fantasy you know, we 50 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,480 Speaker 1: know you guys both just got engaged, and so that's 51 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:44,320 Speaker 1: the thing that people are focusing on. I'm sure it 52 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:47,200 Speaker 1: is just how exciting that is and the positive aspect 53 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:50,200 Speaker 1: around that. But what I've really enjoyed with both of 54 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:53,480 Speaker 1: your work is that you're so open about the journey 55 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:56,080 Speaker 1: it took to get here, right, Like, it wasn't this 56 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:59,800 Speaker 1: just pretty package that just showed up on your doorstep 57 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:02,200 Speaker 1: one day and just looked perfect. It's been a lot 58 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:04,720 Speaker 1: of work, and I think that's kind of confusing, like 59 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:06,760 Speaker 1: what does work look like and all that stuff. So 60 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:10,840 Speaker 1: before we get started with diving into the different kind 61 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:13,320 Speaker 1: of work that you guys do, I do want to 62 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:16,840 Speaker 1: take people on the journey of what are the story 63 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:20,320 Speaker 1: of your journey individually, and then together and kind of 64 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:25,760 Speaker 1: give everyone the background of what that looked like. I 65 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:38,840 Speaker 1: got it. Hello, Hello, Okay, well let's start that part 66 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:42,920 Speaker 1: over again. You guys. I mean, I don't know who 67 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,400 Speaker 1: wants to start. But Melissa, you were kind of diving 68 00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: into your journey before because I mentioned I have just 69 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:50,000 Speaker 1: gone through a breakup and you're like, oh, yeah, I've 70 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,640 Speaker 1: been there. And before you met Jake, you said you 71 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:55,480 Speaker 1: took about a three year period off of dating. So 72 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:57,800 Speaker 1: will you give us a little backstory before you met Jake, 73 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:01,120 Speaker 1: what you're dating looked like? Before met Jake, I was 74 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:03,360 Speaker 1: I lived across the other side of the country. I'm 75 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:06,440 Speaker 1: in New York now, but I lived in Arizona and 76 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:11,080 Speaker 1: I got engaged to be married, and I feel like 77 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:13,800 Speaker 1: it all looked really good, and I made it all 78 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:17,520 Speaker 1: look really good. But it I knew it wasn't aligning, 79 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:19,960 Speaker 1: but I had gotten so far in you know that 80 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:24,040 Speaker 1: it's hard to fail. Because I didn't want to look 81 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:27,560 Speaker 1: like I was failing this relationship. So I tried really hard. 82 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,600 Speaker 1: I tried really hard, but it just wasn't working. And 83 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:35,520 Speaker 1: so there came that day when I said I can't 84 00:04:35,560 --> 00:04:39,799 Speaker 1: do this anymore, and I had no money I had, 85 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:43,680 Speaker 1: I had lost who I was, so so I was like, hey, 86 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:45,839 Speaker 1: like tell me about you. I'd be like, I don't 87 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:47,960 Speaker 1: even know anymore because I had been so dependent on 88 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 1: someone else to tell me how I feel, what I like, 89 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:53,719 Speaker 1: what I want to do, um, what I should be doing. 90 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:57,000 Speaker 1: So I picked up everything, I packed up my two 91 00:04:57,080 --> 00:05:00,120 Speaker 1: little dogs, and I flew back across the country. R 92 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:02,640 Speaker 1: and I had to move in with my parents because 93 00:05:02,640 --> 00:05:05,120 Speaker 1: he didn't have any way to support myself. At that time, 94 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:07,400 Speaker 1: I had left my job. He wanted me to leave 95 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 1: my job. So I was like, okay, you know, I 96 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,120 Speaker 1: was just kind of an okay, sure I can do 97 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:14,240 Speaker 1: it kind of girl. And so I was, I mean, 98 00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:19,120 Speaker 1: honestly as a mess and go ahead. Well, I was 99 00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:22,040 Speaker 1: gonna say, how did you get to the place where 100 00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:26,240 Speaker 1: you realize you're out of alignment? But you got the 101 00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:28,880 Speaker 1: courage to actually walk away? I know for me, I 102 00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:33,400 Speaker 1: canceled a wedding as well, and that the feedback, the 103 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:36,159 Speaker 1: initial feedback that I got from everyone was wow, that 104 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:39,599 Speaker 1: was so brave. And for me, I had been cheated on, 105 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,719 Speaker 1: and so for me, I was just like, this isn't 106 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:44,120 Speaker 1: a choice, Like, of course I'm going to leave, like, 107 00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:46,559 Speaker 1: how do I start a relationship knowing it was all 108 00:05:46,839 --> 00:05:48,839 Speaker 1: a facade, you know, And like you said, it was 109 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:51,760 Speaker 1: just it looked pretty from the outside because I was 110 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:53,640 Speaker 1: working really hard at that But when I found out 111 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:55,520 Speaker 1: the reality of what was happening on inside, I just 112 00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,760 Speaker 1: wasn't even a choice to me. But what was was 113 00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:01,080 Speaker 1: there a specific moment or I guess I'm asking for 114 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:03,960 Speaker 1: anyone listening that you just knew. I have to go 115 00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:06,800 Speaker 1: with my own gut on this one. Yeah, I can. 116 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,520 Speaker 1: What comes to my heart first is years before that, 117 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:13,800 Speaker 1: I had made, you know, those like vision boards that 118 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,159 Speaker 1: so I had made something like that when I was 119 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:18,640 Speaker 1: living in New York City and I did what my 120 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,320 Speaker 1: career path looked like, what kind of person I wanted 121 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:24,240 Speaker 1: to be and become, and what I wanted my relationship. 122 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,320 Speaker 1: At that time, I was single. So I went through 123 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:29,240 Speaker 1: this whole process and I made this book to have 124 00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:32,640 Speaker 1: reflection time, and I had packed it away. I hadn't 125 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:34,680 Speaker 1: looked at it in years, and I remember one day 126 00:06:34,839 --> 00:06:37,160 Speaker 1: I was just upset and I was I lived off 127 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 1: in the mountains, I was by myself a lot, and 128 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,559 Speaker 1: I went upstairs and I was going through some stuff 129 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:45,240 Speaker 1: and I found that book and I opened it up 130 00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:48,680 Speaker 1: to the page where I had put words and pictures 131 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:51,680 Speaker 1: of the relationship that I really wanted, and I had 132 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:55,039 Speaker 1: this moment I was like wow, like no words, Like 133 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:58,240 Speaker 1: nothing on this page is a reflection of my relationship, 134 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:02,800 Speaker 1: Like I don't think I can do this to myself anymore, 135 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,680 Speaker 1: Like what am I doing? Because you can, you can 136 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,200 Speaker 1: really deeply care about someone and just still know that 137 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:11,160 Speaker 1: they're not the right person for you. For me, that 138 00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:15,239 Speaker 1: relationship was bringing out the worst in me, and so 139 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:18,440 Speaker 1: the times I tried to walk away and then I'd 140 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:20,840 Speaker 1: be like okay, like yeah, I know, like we'll work 141 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:22,800 Speaker 1: it out. You know, you have those like conversations where 142 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:25,400 Speaker 1: you think everything's just going to magically change, but nobody 143 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:29,600 Speaker 1: did anything on either end to change, And so it 144 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:32,080 Speaker 1: just got to a point where I remember looking down 145 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:34,040 Speaker 1: at the ring at my finger and being like this 146 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:37,640 Speaker 1: just doesn't This isn't worth it, Like I want something 147 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:41,160 Speaker 1: more than this. I wasn't serving him, he wasn't serving me, 148 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:44,920 Speaker 1: and so it just I had a whole month of 149 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:46,680 Speaker 1: from the time we broke up to the time I 150 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:51,040 Speaker 1: actually left, So it was it was really difficult, but 151 00:07:51,160 --> 00:07:53,800 Speaker 1: it was one of those moments when you know something 152 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:56,280 Speaker 1: is better for you is when you walk out of 153 00:07:56,280 --> 00:08:00,560 Speaker 1: it and you go, you can feel all weight just 154 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:04,200 Speaker 1: kind of fall off of you, and so you know 155 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,880 Speaker 1: like that was too heavy, that didn't need to be 156 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:10,880 Speaker 1: carried that way. Yeah. I actually said to someone today 157 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:15,120 Speaker 1: that sometimes even if I'm hearing something painful or it's 158 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:18,320 Speaker 1: something that I don't want, if it's my truth, no 159 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:21,360 Speaker 1: matter what the pain, my body feels calm. Yes, And 160 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:23,960 Speaker 1: I've had a lot of those moments recently where it's 161 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,840 Speaker 1: just like you bump up against something that it hurts 162 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:30,000 Speaker 1: so bad. And breakups are just hard, like they suck 163 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,000 Speaker 1: on all levels. I don't think that any part of 164 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:35,680 Speaker 1: them is easy. But when you get to the place 165 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:39,120 Speaker 1: of knowing that even amidst all of the pain, you're 166 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:43,120 Speaker 1: in your truth, there is something that feels freeing about that, 167 00:08:43,880 --> 00:08:45,680 Speaker 1: I feel like the hardest part is like it's like 168 00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:48,640 Speaker 1: ripping off the bandit and just like finally saying the 169 00:08:48,679 --> 00:08:51,080 Speaker 1: words out loud, which is really hard to say, I 170 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:53,800 Speaker 1: don't want to do this anymore. And then when you 171 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 1: walk out or when you leave, or I can still 172 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:59,200 Speaker 1: remember that morning of just like everything I was sitting 173 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,240 Speaker 1: on a plane and everything was like like I could 174 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,959 Speaker 1: breathe again, and you shouldn't feel that way about a 175 00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:10,679 Speaker 1: relationship that's actually good for you. Right, Okay, Well, we'll 176 00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:13,320 Speaker 1: get into a little bit of what happened next after this, 177 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:15,440 Speaker 1: but Jake, when it, jump in and give us some 178 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:20,000 Speaker 1: of your backstory, backstory on what part. There's a lot 179 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:23,160 Speaker 1: of backstories I know, and we've heard some of your story, 180 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:25,880 Speaker 1: which I've really appreciated your honesty through the whole thing 181 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:29,680 Speaker 1: of just you know, your own journey to kind of 182 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:32,280 Speaker 1: letting go of some of the masculine programming of not 183 00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:36,800 Speaker 1: feeling of putting a band aid on things with another 184 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:39,680 Speaker 1: relationship or sex or any of that stuff. And I 185 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:43,720 Speaker 1: really appreciate that because I know just in my interactions 186 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:47,880 Speaker 1: with men, it is still such a hard programming that 187 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,520 Speaker 1: they are that men are just bumping up against her 188 00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:54,880 Speaker 1: face with of you can't feel these feelings, or you 189 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:59,400 Speaker 1: can't be weak, you can't be vulnerable, or intimacy is 190 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:01,560 Speaker 1: really scared area and we're not taught how to do it, 191 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:04,559 Speaker 1: I don't think as humans in general. But um, can 192 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:06,959 Speaker 1: you talk a little bit about that, like your journey 193 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:11,199 Speaker 1: with getting to the place of getting out of relationships 194 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:14,200 Speaker 1: that weren't serving you, and then also knowing that it 195 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:16,240 Speaker 1: was okay for you to stand in some of those 196 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:24,640 Speaker 1: really uncomfortable moments and feelings. Mm hmm. Yeah. So I 197 00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:29,280 Speaker 1: think all of the painful experiences that I went through 198 00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:33,000 Speaker 1: my life, through my childhood trauma from the abuse, from 199 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:37,080 Speaker 1: the feeling of abandonment and the neglect, my sister's heroin addiction, 200 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:41,240 Speaker 1: my different types of addiction with myself, the abusive experience 201 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:44,920 Speaker 1: from my father, and everything else. It brought me to 202 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:49,640 Speaker 1: a point in my life of questioning my whole entire 203 00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:53,680 Speaker 1: reality and like why I was really here, Like I 204 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,840 Speaker 1: felt in my heart that I wanted more, but I 205 00:10:56,920 --> 00:11:02,920 Speaker 1: was settling for this average, like a systematic life where 206 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:04,360 Speaker 1: it was just like a robot. I was just a 207 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:07,720 Speaker 1: robot in this system. So as I started to go 208 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:11,480 Speaker 1: inward and really ask myself these more profound questions, I 209 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:16,080 Speaker 1: started really reliving almost all of the pain and trauma 210 00:11:16,360 --> 00:11:18,480 Speaker 1: that I had locked inside of my body and started 211 00:11:18,559 --> 00:11:21,520 Speaker 1: coming up. And before I was even aware of this, 212 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:26,080 Speaker 1: I just kept manifesting toxic relationships, toxic experiences in my life, 213 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:29,960 Speaker 1: from the addictions to the harmful relationships that I was in. 214 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:33,520 Speaker 1: It really brought me to a lot of points of pain. 215 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,920 Speaker 1: And what I learned about pain is it's an amazing motivator. 216 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:39,760 Speaker 1: And I just got to a point in my life 217 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,960 Speaker 1: I just felt disgusted. Honestly, I was overweight, I was 218 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:45,680 Speaker 1: getting black out drunk. The relationships that are and we're 219 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:49,240 Speaker 1: not fulfilling. They were just casual, intimate relationships. They had 220 00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:52,200 Speaker 1: no depth, and I just finally got to the point 221 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:55,200 Speaker 1: where I'm like, this sucks, Like I don't want to 222 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:58,160 Speaker 1: live life like this anymore. And I had gotten into 223 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,800 Speaker 1: a relationship, actually the last relationship that I had was 224 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:06,840 Speaker 1: in before Melissa, really brought me to a point of deep, 225 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:11,040 Speaker 1: deep pain. And I went through this breakup basically moved 226 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:14,000 Speaker 1: into the mountains of California, where I really started going 227 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:17,079 Speaker 1: inward even more after I had already been doing years 228 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:20,280 Speaker 1: of healing work to really excavate that pain that I 229 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:24,560 Speaker 1: was holding onto. So I was kind of brought into 230 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:30,200 Speaker 1: a place of full surrender. And it was like, just 231 00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:34,120 Speaker 1: imagine yourself being placed in an environment where you have nothing, 232 00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:37,320 Speaker 1: like totally isolated from the world. I was three thousand 233 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:39,800 Speaker 1: miles away from home, there was no more drinking. There 234 00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,679 Speaker 1: was no more hanging out with friends. There was none 235 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:44,440 Speaker 1: of this ship, there was no working myself away like nothing. 236 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,520 Speaker 1: I had very little money, and I moved into the 237 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:50,160 Speaker 1: mountains and I'm just here and I'm with myself. And 238 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:51,959 Speaker 1: at this point, that's when I was like the most 239 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,000 Speaker 1: oppressed and most lonely I've ever been in my life, 240 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:57,319 Speaker 1: and I hit complete rock bottom. But it was in 241 00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:01,319 Speaker 1: that darkness where I started to find myself. It was 242 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,160 Speaker 1: in that darkness where I started to feel again, where 243 00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:07,840 Speaker 1: I started to find that inner sense of self love 244 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:12,200 Speaker 1: and self acceptance, and I started to feel all of 245 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,760 Speaker 1: this stuff that had been deeply lodged inside of me 246 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:17,280 Speaker 1: and just started coming out and coming out. And I 247 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:22,560 Speaker 1: learned really how to dance with my inner demons, and 248 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:25,800 Speaker 1: these inner demons where the anger I was holding onto, 249 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:30,000 Speaker 1: the shame, the sadness, and all these different feelings of 250 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:34,040 Speaker 1: really deep rooted pain that wasn't allowing me to be free. 251 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:38,120 Speaker 1: And I will never forget the moment when I was 252 00:13:38,559 --> 00:13:41,840 Speaker 1: in the middle of the mountains in this desert area 253 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:45,720 Speaker 1: and I dropped down on my knees and I literally 254 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:48,000 Speaker 1: just like held my arms out and I'm like just 255 00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:51,120 Speaker 1: take whatever away for me needs to be taken. And 256 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:54,120 Speaker 1: in that moment, it felt like I was being held 257 00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:57,120 Speaker 1: by a mother energy and that was like my first 258 00:13:57,240 --> 00:14:01,120 Speaker 1: real connection to the divine feminine. And I was just 259 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:04,120 Speaker 1: crying and crying and crying and releasing and just like 260 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,480 Speaker 1: letting go of all this anger and hurt that I 261 00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:09,600 Speaker 1: was holding onto because I was just so bottled up 262 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:13,839 Speaker 1: and backed up with all of this inner rage, and 263 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:18,000 Speaker 1: it just felt like I could feel the anchors being 264 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:21,360 Speaker 1: released from me. Just imagine yourself on a boat and 265 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,640 Speaker 1: these anchors were just being cut off, one by one 266 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:26,640 Speaker 1: by one. And it was only a few days later 267 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,320 Speaker 1: when I was on one of my heights in the 268 00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:30,240 Speaker 1: desert where I would often just go for four or 269 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:32,960 Speaker 1: five days, four or five hours and just walk and 270 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:36,960 Speaker 1: talk and cry, and I started laughing, and I was 271 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,400 Speaker 1: like in the middle of the desert by myself, like, 272 00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:39,840 Speaker 1: what the hell is wrong with you? You're going like 273 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:43,160 Speaker 1: you're going crazy out here. It was like, but it 274 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:46,960 Speaker 1: was like this deep, childlike belly laugh. And then I 275 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:49,760 Speaker 1: heard these words come through that said, your joy is 276 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:54,800 Speaker 1: now being returned to you. And it was so profound 277 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:57,480 Speaker 1: to feel that because I had never felt that before. 278 00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:58,920 Speaker 1: You know, I remember feeling that when I was a 279 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,880 Speaker 1: kid and being free, but then I spent twenty plus 280 00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:05,760 Speaker 1: years not being free, and so that was really like 281 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:07,600 Speaker 1: kind of my healing journey. And then I don't know, 282 00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,880 Speaker 1: a few months after that is when I ended up 283 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:12,480 Speaker 1: meeting Melissa and we talked for a while. I was 284 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:15,000 Speaker 1: living in California, she was living in New York, and 285 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,200 Speaker 1: we talked for a couple of months through like zoom 286 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:18,680 Speaker 1: video and we really started to get to know each 287 00:15:18,720 --> 00:15:21,040 Speaker 1: other and get familiar with each other. And when we 288 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,560 Speaker 1: met for the first time in person, it was like 289 00:15:23,640 --> 00:15:27,040 Speaker 1: we had known each other forever, for like lifetimes. You know. 290 00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:29,760 Speaker 1: It was like so familiar feeling, but not in like 291 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:33,080 Speaker 1: a familiar like, Oh, I grew up in a toxic home. 292 00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,480 Speaker 1: You grew up in a toxic home, So now we're 293 00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:38,320 Speaker 1: bonded by our trauma. Like No, it's a familiar feeling 294 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:40,880 Speaker 1: of warmth and safety that I had never felt my 295 00:15:40,960 --> 00:15:46,120 Speaker 1: life before. So it was so welcoming to me, and like, 296 00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:49,440 Speaker 1: as a man to feel safe with a woman and 297 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:51,520 Speaker 1: not feel like I need to be guarded and protected. 298 00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:55,680 Speaker 1: It was very like a sacred feeling. Oh God, the 299 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:58,120 Speaker 1: Govin said so many things that I have now ten questions, 300 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:02,680 Speaker 1: but I do do you feel like, um, you know, 301 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:05,360 Speaker 1: this is something that I've kind of shamed myself about recently, 302 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:08,320 Speaker 1: but I think that this is just as human beings 303 00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:12,560 Speaker 1: maybe how we operate is that sometimes you can't make 304 00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:16,520 Speaker 1: these moves or these decisions or go on these healing 305 00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:19,040 Speaker 1: journeys without the pain, right. And so it is so 306 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,880 Speaker 1: interesting because I will do anything to avoid more pain 307 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,280 Speaker 1: in my life, Like I'm like, hey, I've done this, 308 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:27,760 Speaker 1: Like I've gotten enough pain. I've gone through enough heart experiences. 309 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:30,120 Speaker 1: I don't need any more pain universe, Like I'm good. 310 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:35,280 Speaker 1: And I keep noticing that without the pain, I'm not 311 00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:38,000 Speaker 1: going to dig deeper, Like I just want to coast 312 00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:41,040 Speaker 1: and I want to kind of make life as easy 313 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:43,400 Speaker 1: as possible, and a isn't you know, as enjoyable as 314 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:46,520 Speaker 1: possible until I'm getting in enough pain that I'm like, wait, 315 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,720 Speaker 1: I have to make a different decision. And so I 316 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,920 Speaker 1: heard a lot of that in both of your stories, 317 00:16:51,560 --> 00:16:54,880 Speaker 1: and then also heard that you both kind of started 318 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:59,320 Speaker 1: to go on this inner journey after these really painful situations. 319 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:02,880 Speaker 1: And what I want to know is, you know, during 320 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:08,600 Speaker 1: those journeys, how close you got to yourself, um, from 321 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:11,680 Speaker 1: taking the space from a relationship and just being by 322 00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:14,639 Speaker 1: yourself and being in the pain and feeling that. And 323 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:16,920 Speaker 1: then also do you feel like that was a necessary 324 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,960 Speaker 1: step to be able to actually open up to a 325 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:23,040 Speaker 1: different kind of relationship, to go through the pain, to 326 00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:26,640 Speaker 1: walk through it to the other side. I feel like 327 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,800 Speaker 1: that sometimes we just get a little bit of a 328 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,520 Speaker 1: of a louder voice, and that's when that pain is 329 00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:35,399 Speaker 1: really deep to say, hey, like it's time to go deeper, 330 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:39,000 Speaker 1: it's time to step up, so like we're forced there. Yeah, 331 00:17:39,040 --> 00:17:41,720 Speaker 1: the worst days will always lead you to the best 332 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,720 Speaker 1: days if you open yourself up to to look a 333 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:47,440 Speaker 1: little bit, like to open up the vision so so 334 00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:49,679 Speaker 1: to speak, you know, because we're very like narrow focus, 335 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:52,760 Speaker 1: like all this pain, but like there's all this opportunity 336 00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:55,399 Speaker 1: opening up from the change is happening in your life. 337 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:58,080 Speaker 1: So I love that. I want to say that again, 338 00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:00,280 Speaker 1: the worst days will lead you to your best days 339 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:02,800 Speaker 1: because you can't get your best days without feeling the 340 00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:05,280 Speaker 1: worst days. Right, That's how that's been my experience at 341 00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:08,639 Speaker 1: least sometimes And you're right when you said sometimes things 342 00:18:08,720 --> 00:18:12,000 Speaker 1: get so heavy and so painful, and that's when you 343 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:14,000 Speaker 1: open up the most because you're like, I just I 344 00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:17,760 Speaker 1: will do anything to feel better. And so you start 345 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:20,960 Speaker 1: trying things maybe you never would have tried before, or 346 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:24,040 Speaker 1: believing in things that maybe you would have questioned before. 347 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:27,600 Speaker 1: So it really does. It cracks you open, even though 348 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:32,000 Speaker 1: it can feel hard and difficult, it leads you towards 349 00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:35,600 Speaker 1: like it's it's guiding you if you just allow it to. Yeah, 350 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:38,240 Speaker 1: not what your question was, Well, I mean, I think 351 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:40,800 Speaker 1: you actually answered a lot about the pain piece, and 352 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,600 Speaker 1: I do. The cracked wide open is something that's been 353 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,320 Speaker 1: coming up a lot for me. A friend of mine 354 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:48,879 Speaker 1: gave me this gorgeous picture of this really messy heart, 355 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:52,560 Speaker 1: like painted, really messy, and she said, when I see this, 356 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:56,639 Speaker 1: I think about your heart. Is this, you know, this 357 00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:59,440 Speaker 1: beautiful organ that we produce all of these amazing feelings 358 00:18:59,440 --> 00:19:04,080 Speaker 1: from love of and kindness and generosity and all these things. Um. 359 00:19:04,119 --> 00:19:06,840 Speaker 1: But to be able to get to like the best 360 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,720 Speaker 1: versions of that are the deepest versions, sometimes it's got 361 00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:12,159 Speaker 1: to be cracked wide open to just let it flow 362 00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:14,879 Speaker 1: flow out in this way. And that's sort of what 363 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:18,720 Speaker 1: I'm identifying as what I'm going through right now is 364 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:20,919 Speaker 1: kind of the cracking of that. And maybe I've been 365 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:24,199 Speaker 1: a little guarded and and those kind of things. But 366 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:28,600 Speaker 1: now with the crack and the pain, then everything energy 367 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:31,080 Speaker 1: wise is able to flow out. That's actually always been 368 00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:33,840 Speaker 1: in there, it's just been blocked. So I asked you, 369 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:37,520 Speaker 1: do you think that your journey through the pain was 370 00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:43,080 Speaker 1: really necessary in you getting okay with yourself first before 371 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:47,160 Speaker 1: going into another relationship? Oh yeah, it all crumbled down 372 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:50,040 Speaker 1: because there's definitely a better way to put it back together. 373 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:54,560 Speaker 1: It's like I had to because I thought I knew 374 00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,240 Speaker 1: who I was. I thought I had self love, like 375 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:59,320 Speaker 1: if you were asking me, like, yeah, myself. But then 376 00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:01,760 Speaker 1: when it came time to step up and do things 377 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:05,159 Speaker 1: like take action out of self love, I realized that 378 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:09,200 Speaker 1: I was constantly beating myself up and not treating myself 379 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:13,040 Speaker 1: with respect and holding back and not do and saying 380 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:15,679 Speaker 1: yes to things I knew I wanted to say no to. 381 00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:18,520 Speaker 1: You know, I was people pleaser. That was my thing 382 00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:22,560 Speaker 1: to always be like calm, cool and collective no matter 383 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:26,639 Speaker 1: what happens. But like inside, now I realized how much 384 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:31,040 Speaker 1: turmoil my body was in, how tense I was. I 385 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,520 Speaker 1: just kept smiling like my whole body was so tense, 386 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:38,000 Speaker 1: but it gave me this opportunity to get to know 387 00:20:38,119 --> 00:20:42,440 Speaker 1: myself and to in a way that served me best, 388 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:46,320 Speaker 1: in a way that really was me, not pleasing everybody else, 389 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:49,040 Speaker 1: like to really get to know me and to develop 390 00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 1: true love for myself and start acting through that space. Yes, 391 00:20:54,000 --> 00:21:00,840 Speaker 1: I love that, Jake, What would you say? I feel 392 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:08,800 Speaker 1: that our process of working through pain brings us into 393 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:16,400 Speaker 1: a state of preparing us for a relationship. And we 394 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:20,199 Speaker 1: think that we found self love, we think that we 395 00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:22,840 Speaker 1: find self healing, and we do, and then we get 396 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:26,440 Speaker 1: into a relationship and that's where the real work begins. 397 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:32,280 Speaker 1: Because our relationships are our greatest teachers. You will never 398 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:36,520 Speaker 1: find a better teacher than being in a romantic relationship, 399 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:41,320 Speaker 1: especially with somebody who loves you. Because Melissa and I, 400 00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:44,280 Speaker 1: as much love as we share, we're also honest with 401 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:48,000 Speaker 1: each other and we will both hold our hold each 402 00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:52,560 Speaker 1: other's feet to the fire of purification to let go 403 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:54,320 Speaker 1: of whatever needs to be let go of. And we've 404 00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:57,760 Speaker 1: done this multiple times in our relationship. And it's so 405 00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:02,280 Speaker 1: powerful to be in relationship with somebody. Even even the 406 00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:07,600 Speaker 1: toxic relationships bring us awareness, bring us healing. It's just 407 00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,320 Speaker 1: a problem that a lot of people experience, and I 408 00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:12,480 Speaker 1: experienced myself as we keep recycling these toxic relationships because 409 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:15,840 Speaker 1: we're not learning from our mistakes, we're not spending any 410 00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:18,560 Speaker 1: time alone. We just keep jumping in one relationship to 411 00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:21,359 Speaker 1: the next, and we think to ourselves, Oh, well, you 412 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,119 Speaker 1: know they've got a different hairstyle now, or they're a 413 00:22:24,119 --> 00:22:28,439 Speaker 1: little taller, or his cheekbones are a little more defined, Like, no, 414 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:30,520 Speaker 1: you just swapped out the body, but the energy is 415 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:37,640 Speaker 1: still the same for a decade. Yes, So when we 416 00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:40,040 Speaker 1: really start healing from the inside, that's when we start 417 00:22:40,080 --> 00:22:44,160 Speaker 1: attracting better people. But remember, the person that you attract, 418 00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:46,440 Speaker 1: no matter how conscious you are, no matter how healed 419 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:50,320 Speaker 1: you are, is still going to bring you deeper into 420 00:22:50,359 --> 00:22:53,560 Speaker 1: your healing. When I first met Melissa, compared to where 421 00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:55,679 Speaker 1: I am now, I'm a totally different human being. I 422 00:22:55,680 --> 00:23:00,159 Speaker 1: feel the same way about myself so much more to 423 00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:04,600 Speaker 1: my authentic self in this container of our relationship. And 424 00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:07,560 Speaker 1: I have learned so much about mask on and feminine 425 00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:10,919 Speaker 1: energies and polarity and intimacy because of this relationship, not 426 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:14,760 Speaker 1: because of reading books or watching YouTube videos any of that. 427 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:18,840 Speaker 1: You want real embodiment work and you want real healing, 428 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:21,960 Speaker 1: get into a relationship that is going to invite you 429 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:25,000 Speaker 1: to grow when somebody who really gives a shit about you, 430 00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:28,440 Speaker 1: and I'm telling you right now, it is uncomfortable at times, 431 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,920 Speaker 1: Like we have uncomfortable conversations. We step boundaries to each 432 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:35,120 Speaker 1: other in the most loving, sacred way, but it's it's 433 00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:37,800 Speaker 1: still it's I'm not here to paint this picture that 434 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:41,320 Speaker 1: relationships are easy because they bring a lot of challenge 435 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,320 Speaker 1: because you're you're having all of your stuff reflected back 436 00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:47,080 Speaker 1: to you right in that moment, and a lot of 437 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:51,960 Speaker 1: people they can't take that reflection, so they flee and 438 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:54,639 Speaker 1: they or they shut down. And that's what a lot 439 00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:56,760 Speaker 1: of people do. They either flee the relationship where they 440 00:23:56,760 --> 00:24:00,320 Speaker 1: just close down, you know. And we live in this 441 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:04,880 Speaker 1: really strongly throw away culture now where we get into 442 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:06,800 Speaker 1: a relationship with somebody they're like, well, you know, this 443 00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:08,399 Speaker 1: isn't working out, I'm just gonna leave, and like they 444 00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:11,639 Speaker 1: don't really lean into that and see if there's anything 445 00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:14,119 Speaker 1: there for them. Like Melissa and I we broke up twice, 446 00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:17,520 Speaker 1: broke up two different times to give you an example, 447 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:21,439 Speaker 1: but each time we broke up and we got back together. 448 00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:23,760 Speaker 1: We continue to get closer and closer and deeper and 449 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:29,879 Speaker 1: deeper those breakups. We're ultimately just kind of purifying what 450 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:33,920 Speaker 1: needed to be purified in our relationship, you know, if 451 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:36,440 Speaker 1: you if you're talking like the technicality of things, I 452 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:39,600 Speaker 1: would say that our polarity between our masks and femine 453 00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:42,280 Speaker 1: energies had been reversed, and that was causing a lot 454 00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:46,880 Speaker 1: of damage, like energetically in our relationship. It was hurting us. 455 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:50,840 Speaker 1: A lot of people experience that. Can I just say 456 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:52,680 Speaker 1: to you too, though, because I know you said that 457 00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:56,879 Speaker 1: you're going through something like a new separation, is like 458 00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,520 Speaker 1: I I also feel like people don't take time to 459 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:04,480 Speaker 1: actually grieve a relationship. So I mean, I honestly, from 460 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:07,439 Speaker 1: my previous relationship, I was, like I told you, I 461 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:10,399 Speaker 1: was kind of a mess for a while, and because 462 00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:12,560 Speaker 1: I was trying to figure it all out and I 463 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:16,680 Speaker 1: didn't want to rush myself, you know, So it took 464 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:19,840 Speaker 1: me a good year. I would say, until not that 465 00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:21,840 Speaker 1: I felt like I was over it, but until I 466 00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:24,840 Speaker 1: could feel like I could breathe again and I and 467 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:27,440 Speaker 1: I was beginning to understand myself. So I think people 468 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:30,359 Speaker 1: don't grieve, and you'll hear people around you saying like 469 00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:34,080 Speaker 1: you just get over them just but it's not. It's 470 00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:37,760 Speaker 1: not as easy if you're trying to rush yourself through it. 471 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:40,080 Speaker 1: So I think it's always important to give yourself time 472 00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:42,480 Speaker 1: to just feel it. I know you don't want to. 473 00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:43,840 Speaker 1: I know you want to be like I'm good. What 474 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:47,000 Speaker 1: it wants to, nobody wants to. But if you don't, 475 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:50,879 Speaker 1: then you're still carrying around those wounds and that energy, 476 00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:53,560 Speaker 1: and so you're gonna pull somebody else in who's going 477 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:56,200 Speaker 1: to be a reflection of that until you actually get 478 00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:59,640 Speaker 1: rid of it. It's not because it's not a one 479 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:02,240 Speaker 1: time I release. You know how many times I sit 480 00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:05,520 Speaker 1: and I'm like, I forgive whomever I release this from, 481 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:07,520 Speaker 1: Like it's not just a one and done, you know, 482 00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:10,640 Speaker 1: because something I want to add there too, I think, 483 00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:15,000 Speaker 1: and in response to the grievance, if you are grieving 484 00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:17,800 Speaker 1: to not go out and hook up with other people, 485 00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:21,679 Speaker 1: that is the worst time you could ever hook up 486 00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:25,280 Speaker 1: with somebody is when you were in pain. From personal 487 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:28,199 Speaker 1: experience of doing us. It will even hurt men and 488 00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:33,680 Speaker 1: women especially will really really crush If you are grieving, 489 00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,600 Speaker 1: take hookups off the table for a while. Do yourself 490 00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:41,600 Speaker 1: a favor and just don't open that door, because that 491 00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,320 Speaker 1: is when you were the most vulnerable. And if you 492 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:49,000 Speaker 1: feel used, or if you feel like a broken connection 493 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:50,480 Speaker 1: with somebody, you're gonna be hurt even more. It's just 494 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:52,720 Speaker 1: gonna push your pain deeper and deeper down inside of you. 495 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:54,840 Speaker 1: I don't know why I just felt called to say that, Well, 496 00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:57,600 Speaker 1: I'm glad that you Yeah, I'm sorry, Melissa, What were 497 00:26:57,640 --> 00:26:59,080 Speaker 1: you going to say? I was just gonna say, it's 498 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:09,000 Speaker 1: it's a temporary hi, right, it's a band aid, right, 499 00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:12,120 Speaker 1: and it's to go back to the programming piece. I 500 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:15,800 Speaker 1: feel like this is just me being really honest. One 501 00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:19,680 Speaker 1: of my biggest fears going through this breakup was how 502 00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:23,120 Speaker 1: fast my ex is going to move on and um 503 00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:25,600 Speaker 1: and just how painful that would be to hear about 504 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:28,520 Speaker 1: or to just just the fear of it in general. 505 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:32,159 Speaker 1: Is enough pain for me? And everyone's response to that 506 00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:34,760 Speaker 1: is well, that's you know, that's kind of what guys do. 507 00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:39,760 Speaker 1: And I'm like, bullshit, Why Like this is bullshit? I 508 00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:42,959 Speaker 1: just have to call it out because why is this 509 00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:46,280 Speaker 1: the programming that that is just okay? All we're doing 510 00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:50,040 Speaker 1: such a disservice to men if we keep saying, um, yeah, 511 00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:52,399 Speaker 1: that's just what guys do. No, it's not, that's what 512 00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:56,880 Speaker 1: unhealthy guys might do. But that's not actually like addressing 513 00:27:56,920 --> 00:28:00,000 Speaker 1: what you're saying, grieving like it's sad. No matter if 514 00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:04,880 Speaker 1: the relationship needed to end or it became toxic, even 515 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:07,639 Speaker 1: or it wasn't serving either of you, there's still grief 516 00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,080 Speaker 1: that comes with that loss. It's a loss, and so 517 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:13,159 Speaker 1: I've really like I had to get okay with it 518 00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:15,720 Speaker 1: in myself about you know, I obviously can't control what 519 00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:18,879 Speaker 1: another person does, but I just really do think that 520 00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:21,280 Speaker 1: that is a huge disservice that we would do to 521 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:25,200 Speaker 1: anybody in general, to just try to brush over emotions 522 00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:28,760 Speaker 1: and act like that's okay and like that we're actually 523 00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:31,240 Speaker 1: doing going through a healing process, because I believe, like 524 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:35,040 Speaker 1: what Melissa said, you're just going to keep inviting that 525 00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:38,640 Speaker 1: in That's what I like, I before this relationship, after 526 00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:40,680 Speaker 1: my last relationship, I just wanted to move on. I 527 00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:43,280 Speaker 1: didn't want to feel the pain, and all that I 528 00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:46,960 Speaker 1: did was repeat old patterns until it got so painful 529 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,280 Speaker 1: that I've had to face myself again and be like no, 530 00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:52,239 Speaker 1: you're doing that thing again, and like and that's okay, Like, 531 00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:54,080 Speaker 1: it's just I gotta get back on, you know, my 532 00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:57,360 Speaker 1: healing journey track. And I'm lucky enough to have the 533 00:28:57,400 --> 00:29:00,840 Speaker 1: tools in place to do that. But I just can't 534 00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:04,080 Speaker 1: get okay with this mentality of like, that's just what 535 00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:06,600 Speaker 1: people do or that's what men do specifically, Like I 536 00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:10,680 Speaker 1: just think that that is really messed up, ran over. 537 00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:15,000 Speaker 1: Its deep programming, you know. Yeah, it's just it's deep 538 00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:18,320 Speaker 1: programming that we think that we can heal our heartbreak 539 00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:21,440 Speaker 1: by jumping into bed or another relationship with somebody else. 540 00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:25,160 Speaker 1: And it doesn't work like that because in all breakups, 541 00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:28,640 Speaker 1: there's an integration process. It's the same thing as losing weight. 542 00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:31,880 Speaker 1: If you want to lose forty or fifty pounds, you're 543 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:33,520 Speaker 1: not going to do that in two weeks, and if 544 00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:36,080 Speaker 1: you do, you're probably cutting one of your body parts 545 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:39,280 Speaker 1: off right, right, So it's an integration process of a 546 00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:41,840 Speaker 1: year two years to really be healthy and do it 547 00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:46,680 Speaker 1: right and learn to reprogram yourself to eat healthier foods. 548 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:49,920 Speaker 1: It's the same thing with our emotional world. To learning 549 00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:52,560 Speaker 1: to find self love and self acceptance is not an 550 00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:54,680 Speaker 1: easy thing to do. Especially when you spent most of 551 00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:59,160 Speaker 1: your life shaming yourself, when you spend most of your 552 00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:01,520 Speaker 1: life down in yourself, when you spend most of your 553 00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:05,080 Speaker 1: life living in fear, it's not easy to reprogram yourself 554 00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:08,560 Speaker 1: to stop being negative all the time and looking for 555 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:12,120 Speaker 1: the negative and criticizing other people. And that's when we 556 00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:14,360 Speaker 1: really start to change, and when we start to start 557 00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:18,520 Speaker 1: to shift. Those patterns are unhealthy patterns that keep attracting 558 00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:21,959 Speaker 1: these toxic people into our our lives because a lot 559 00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:24,600 Speaker 1: of times we just we look outwardly and we say, oh, 560 00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:27,040 Speaker 1: blah blah blah, they just suck blah blah blah blah. Really, 561 00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:28,920 Speaker 1: why did they come into your life? What were they 562 00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:32,000 Speaker 1: reflecting back to you that you haven't healed? Is it 563 00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:35,560 Speaker 1: because you're still guarded and shut down? So you attracted 564 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:39,280 Speaker 1: somebody emotionally unavailable, you know. So there's a lot of 565 00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:42,520 Speaker 1: layers to that. It's about really looking within yourself and 566 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:46,680 Speaker 1: opening just enough to find that that wisdom, because there 567 00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:49,720 Speaker 1: is wisdom and pain. Yeah, Well, do you think it 568 00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:53,360 Speaker 1: goes back to pain with that? Because if you're bumping 569 00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:56,360 Speaker 1: up against your own pain A lot of times, for 570 00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:58,320 Speaker 1: me at least, that's the only time I actually get 571 00:30:58,360 --> 00:30:59,880 Speaker 1: to a place where I want to make real changes. 572 00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:04,840 Speaker 1: And so without that pain happening or facing it, I'm 573 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:06,800 Speaker 1: just going to keep doing the same thing. And if 574 00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:08,960 Speaker 1: it's not painful enough, I guess it's just like up, well, 575 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:11,600 Speaker 1: I need to do it one more time to get 576 00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:13,680 Speaker 1: to that place where it is and you really do 577 00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:17,520 Speaker 1: want to get all your demons out or whatever it is. 578 00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:22,520 Speaker 1: But um, you both mentioned that getting into this relationship 579 00:31:23,160 --> 00:31:25,960 Speaker 1: was good and fun and exciting, but it wasn't perfect. 580 00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:29,680 Speaker 1: And so I think mentioned that y'all broke up twice, 581 00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:33,520 Speaker 1: and I just want to know what that looks like too, 582 00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:37,479 Speaker 1: because there's a difference, in my opinion, between breaking up 583 00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:39,480 Speaker 1: in a toxic way over and over and then getting 584 00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:41,560 Speaker 1: back together and breaking up and getting back together and 585 00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:44,360 Speaker 1: then maybe what it looked like for you guys why 586 00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:46,720 Speaker 1: you would break up and then what would bring you 587 00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:50,280 Speaker 1: back together. Was it your own journey within yourself or 588 00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:52,800 Speaker 1: were you able to face some things within yourself that 589 00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:54,719 Speaker 1: you hadn't been able to before? Like what did that 590 00:31:54,760 --> 00:32:01,200 Speaker 1: look like? M Go ahead, So I would say the 591 00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:04,920 Speaker 1: first time that we really sat down and decided that 592 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:08,120 Speaker 1: we were gonna, um break up, or take or kind 593 00:32:08,120 --> 00:32:12,320 Speaker 1: of like you know, give each other's space. Uh, was 594 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,160 Speaker 1: you could see it coming. It was pretty obvious that 595 00:32:16,280 --> 00:32:20,280 Speaker 1: like we were starting to really clash. And when now 596 00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:23,600 Speaker 1: seeing it and have gone through it, it was our 597 00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:26,320 Speaker 1: energy fields were really clashing when it came to masculine 598 00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:31,200 Speaker 1: feminine energies. So like me getting through my breakup really 599 00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:33,880 Speaker 1: helped me come back into myself. But what I had 600 00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:37,960 Speaker 1: also done was I kind of overdeveloped this like big 601 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:41,280 Speaker 1: bed independent girl thing. And I think that that's great, 602 00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:44,880 Speaker 1: but that also can be um something that can be 603 00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:49,640 Speaker 1: hard to navigate through a relationship in because the masculine 604 00:32:49,720 --> 00:32:53,880 Speaker 1: wants to bring his purpose, his giving into the relationship. 605 00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:57,120 Speaker 1: And Jake would say to me a lot at a 606 00:32:57,160 --> 00:32:59,840 Speaker 1: certain point in time before we split, he pleased, stop 607 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,560 Speaker 1: fighting me on this, Like I don't because he would 608 00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:04,840 Speaker 1: say something and I'd be like yeah, but you know, 609 00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:08,600 Speaker 1: like I didn't realize that unconsciously, I was still like 610 00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:12,440 Speaker 1: guarding myself and I was trying to prove my independence 611 00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:14,720 Speaker 1: to him, like I like you and everything is really 612 00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:16,840 Speaker 1: but like my dad always be like you don't need 613 00:33:16,880 --> 00:33:20,160 Speaker 1: anything from anybody, but that doesn't serve me. And living 614 00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:22,800 Speaker 1: that way and it never allows anyone to bring anything 615 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:26,880 Speaker 1: into your life and to really create deeper connections. So 616 00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:30,080 Speaker 1: it was I believe, and I feel like you do 617 00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:33,240 Speaker 1: as well. As our energy fields are really clashing because 618 00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:35,840 Speaker 1: Jake had come off a lot of healing and I 619 00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:39,000 Speaker 1: had been coasting pretty good, like doing well. So I 620 00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:42,080 Speaker 1: was more in the masculine energy in an independent way, 621 00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:44,120 Speaker 1: and he was a little bit more in the feminine, 622 00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:47,960 Speaker 1: but that's not our natural core. When things started to 623 00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:50,320 Speaker 1: like we got closer and closer, and things started to 624 00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:53,240 Speaker 1: like want to shift, and he was really coming forward 625 00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:55,840 Speaker 1: in the masculine. I was kind of fighting against it 626 00:33:56,480 --> 00:33:59,640 Speaker 1: because I hadn't had a full grasp about what it 627 00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:02,800 Speaker 1: meant to fully surrender into my feminine even though it 628 00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:06,240 Speaker 1: was something I really wanted to do, I was fighting 629 00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:08,600 Speaker 1: against it because I didn't really I didn't really get 630 00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:16,560 Speaker 1: it yet about well said Well said honestly, Like the 631 00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:20,640 Speaker 1: way I would describe it is you were in competition 632 00:34:20,719 --> 00:34:25,040 Speaker 1: with my mask on energy, and I think that there 633 00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:27,680 Speaker 1: was a component of not fully trusting my mask on energy, 634 00:34:27,719 --> 00:34:30,600 Speaker 1: but you were also still guarded from holding onto this 635 00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:34,400 Speaker 1: masculine shield. So the visual I would give would be 636 00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:39,960 Speaker 1: like two rams clashing horns together on this mountaintop, right, 637 00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:43,520 Speaker 1: like who's going to be the strong masculine here? And 638 00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:46,160 Speaker 1: at that point is when you have this depolarization of 639 00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:49,239 Speaker 1: energies because you just keep bouncing off each other and 640 00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:52,359 Speaker 1: you're just like, this is just not working. Right. So 641 00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:54,960 Speaker 1: that's the point that we had to get to in 642 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,279 Speaker 1: our relationship where I was like, holy shit, like this 643 00:34:57,360 --> 00:35:00,319 Speaker 1: is driving me nuts, Like I don't like if it's 644 00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:03,600 Speaker 1: hard enough as it is. And to constantly be challenged 645 00:35:03,640 --> 00:35:06,799 Speaker 1: in a masculine way by your partner who's more a 646 00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:09,440 Speaker 1: woman in that sense where you have two masculines in 647 00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:12,640 Speaker 1: the relationship, it's it just adds a whole another layer 648 00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:16,360 Speaker 1: of complexity. So her being in competition with my masculinity 649 00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:21,520 Speaker 1: in a masculine way was very It created a lot 650 00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:24,840 Speaker 1: of resistance in the relationship in that sense. And once again, 651 00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:26,880 Speaker 1: because I had been on this healing journey and I 652 00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:29,359 Speaker 1: was stepping really into my feminine energy, she was more 653 00:35:29,360 --> 00:35:31,239 Speaker 1: in the masculine. At first, it was working, but as 654 00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:34,400 Speaker 1: it started to come together and balance itself out, we 655 00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:37,839 Speaker 1: started we met at this middle point of we're both 656 00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:39,640 Speaker 1: in the same energy, and that's where we really started 657 00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:44,319 Speaker 1: to really ram heads if and that's where we experienced 658 00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:46,400 Speaker 1: a lot. I just remember sitting down with you and 659 00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:48,160 Speaker 1: be like, I just I don't know what it is 660 00:35:48,239 --> 00:35:49,960 Speaker 1: right now. I can't put my finger on it, but 661 00:35:50,040 --> 00:35:53,320 Speaker 1: I just I feel repelled by your energy. That's literal words. 662 00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:57,800 Speaker 1: I was saying, what am I what? I didn't understand 663 00:35:57,840 --> 00:36:01,000 Speaker 1: what I what I was bringing because I was trying 664 00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:03,319 Speaker 1: to go deeper into my masculine and you were right 665 00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:06,480 Speaker 1: there and your masculine, and like it was, it was 666 00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:09,200 Speaker 1: at this point where it's like it finally broke through, 667 00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:13,320 Speaker 1: like my mask energy finally was like the stronger energy 668 00:36:13,320 --> 00:36:16,160 Speaker 1: in that moment where I finally stepped in, I remember saying, 669 00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:18,480 Speaker 1: and that's when you really started to surrender and soften 670 00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:21,040 Speaker 1: into your feminine. And that's where it really started to 671 00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:24,319 Speaker 1: rebalance itself. It's almost like if your car was out 672 00:36:24,360 --> 00:36:26,239 Speaker 1: of alignment. This is how I would describe this is 673 00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:28,799 Speaker 1: what's coming through. If your car had a tire out 674 00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:32,400 Speaker 1: of alignment. You're driving on the highway, right, it's wobbly, wobbly, wobbily. 675 00:36:33,080 --> 00:36:35,879 Speaker 1: You go to the shop, you go get alignment. Our 676 00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:39,799 Speaker 1: tire was wobbly for a while because we weren't really 677 00:36:39,840 --> 00:36:41,839 Speaker 1: sure of each other. We're still feeling each other out. 678 00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:45,120 Speaker 1: And when we finally brought our car into the shop 679 00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:47,359 Speaker 1: to get it aligned, it was like it was out 680 00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:51,160 Speaker 1: of alignment. It was not balanced. So the balance the 681 00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:53,560 Speaker 1: proper weights were put on the tire, which is what 682 00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:57,280 Speaker 1: they do in the alignment to re calibrate that tire. 683 00:36:57,400 --> 00:37:00,920 Speaker 1: And that was her softening and open into her feminine 684 00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:05,000 Speaker 1: and me stepping into my masculine. Created this beautiful balance 685 00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:09,000 Speaker 1: within our relationship that we hadn't fully experienced yet. And 686 00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:13,160 Speaker 1: when we experienced that, it was just beautiful opening. I 687 00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:16,160 Speaker 1: was just like, wow, this just feels this feels natural, 688 00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:19,880 Speaker 1: it feels good. It feels like I was in my 689 00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:22,680 Speaker 1: native energy. She was in her native energy, and we 690 00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:25,480 Speaker 1: were operating and leading from that place. So we had 691 00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:29,799 Speaker 1: an immense amount of life force that was then charged 692 00:37:30,239 --> 00:37:32,640 Speaker 1: in the relationship, if that makes sense. It's almost like 693 00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:37,000 Speaker 1: imagine like a battery Okay, a battery cell is most 694 00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:40,960 Speaker 1: optimally charged when there's a positive and a negative spark 695 00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:44,360 Speaker 1: between the two energies. It's the same thing in a relationship, 696 00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:46,959 Speaker 1: and this can work for same sex relationships too. There 697 00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:50,480 Speaker 1: has to be a masculine and feminine energy sparking in 698 00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:53,840 Speaker 1: the relationship in order for that life force to flow, 699 00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:58,040 Speaker 1: and a lot of times relationships kind of are neutralized 700 00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:01,480 Speaker 1: and you have like almost like a stagged dead energy 701 00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:06,160 Speaker 1: with no passion because there's no polarity there. And that's 702 00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:08,440 Speaker 1: what happens over time, is that the polarity starts to 703 00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:12,279 Speaker 1: neutralize and people just they lose their connection because they 704 00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:17,480 Speaker 1: don't focus on embodying their native energy and keeping that 705 00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:21,840 Speaker 1: polarity alive in their relationship. I think the polarity pieces 706 00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:23,440 Speaker 1: really interesting, So I want to touch on that in 707 00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:26,319 Speaker 1: a second. Another thing I heard you talk about though, 708 00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:29,279 Speaker 1: was and I think I've actually experienced this with you 709 00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:30,799 Speaker 1: to Jake, and so I want to talk a little 710 00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:34,440 Speaker 1: bit about this. But is Melissa's coming in with this 711 00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:37,799 Speaker 1: like masculine you know, leading and a lot of times 712 00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:40,520 Speaker 1: I think right now, as a woman, it feels like 713 00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:43,120 Speaker 1: we need to be doing that, which does feel out 714 00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:46,200 Speaker 1: of line with maybe if you're a feminine a strong 715 00:38:46,239 --> 00:38:49,880 Speaker 1: feminine energy, like it feels weird and I personally feel 716 00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:52,680 Speaker 1: drained after a time of doing it. And actually the 717 00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:55,759 Speaker 1: last podcast you and I did, Jake, you said I 718 00:38:55,880 --> 00:38:57,960 Speaker 1: came in really like I was like leading with the 719 00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:02,000 Speaker 1: masculine energy and like going through the outline I had made, 720 00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:04,360 Speaker 1: you know, and it was just a little more maybe 721 00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:08,200 Speaker 1: coasting on the surface. And you asked me a question, 722 00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:12,239 Speaker 1: and I don't even remember what it was. What was it? 723 00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:14,839 Speaker 1: How much do you trust mask and energy? Oh? Yeah, 724 00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:22,799 Speaker 1: to I said it too. Wow, that's really sad, but 725 00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:26,520 Speaker 1: that's true. And what I realized when you asked me 726 00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:29,440 Speaker 1: that was an act. Well, you pointed out to me 727 00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:32,280 Speaker 1: how much I dropped into my feminine once we actually 728 00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:35,880 Speaker 1: just started owning the truth of that um. But it 729 00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:39,040 Speaker 1: was also because I felt safe. And what I've noticed, 730 00:39:39,040 --> 00:39:41,480 Speaker 1: and I wonder if Melissa resonates with this at all, 731 00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:46,320 Speaker 1: that I haven't had a good experience trusting masculine energy, 732 00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:50,440 Speaker 1: and so for me to be able to fully drop 733 00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:54,120 Speaker 1: into my feminine it's like I need the safety of 734 00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:58,319 Speaker 1: that that consistency, or I need to trust it, like 735 00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:02,120 Speaker 1: in order to be able to fully drop the guard. 736 00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:04,799 Speaker 1: And what I heard when you were telling the story, Jake, 737 00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:06,759 Speaker 1: was that you had gotten to the table and you're like, 738 00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:09,359 Speaker 1: I'm really repelled, And I just wonder, Melissa, what was 739 00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:12,240 Speaker 1: it that helped you to get to that next side 740 00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:14,239 Speaker 1: of being like wait a second, like I don't want 741 00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:17,240 Speaker 1: to repel this person, I love this person, or however 742 00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:19,600 Speaker 1: it was you were feeling, and how did you drop 743 00:40:19,719 --> 00:40:24,200 Speaker 1: that masculine guard sep Well, a separation was actually really 744 00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:28,919 Speaker 1: hopeful because I couldn't quite understand it because it kept 745 00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:31,800 Speaker 1: looking out at him of like it must be something 746 00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:36,040 Speaker 1: he's doing it, like I'm fine, like I'm good, I'm learning, 747 00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:39,640 Speaker 1: you know, like I really didn't quite grasp like it's 748 00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:42,160 Speaker 1: hard to see the box from the inside, So I 749 00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:46,560 Speaker 1: just didn't really quite understand it. But when he used 750 00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:49,040 Speaker 1: to say to me, can you please stop fighting me 751 00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:52,160 Speaker 1: on this? I remember, Um, I was sitting at I had, 752 00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:54,800 Speaker 1: you know, we separated, I moved out, and I remember 753 00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:57,839 Speaker 1: sitting with myself and being like, when I fight him 754 00:40:57,880 --> 00:41:02,440 Speaker 1: on things, is that my ego? Or do I really 755 00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:05,760 Speaker 1: do I really need to interject on everything in question 756 00:41:05,920 --> 00:41:10,040 Speaker 1: everything he's doing. And then and I started to become 757 00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:13,239 Speaker 1: very aware of what I was saying. So when we 758 00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:16,200 Speaker 1: would talk or we did like eventually start working things out, 759 00:41:16,880 --> 00:41:19,400 Speaker 1: he would say something and I remember, like I would 760 00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:23,560 Speaker 1: like my natural thing or my programming, I should say 761 00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:25,360 Speaker 1: because it wasn't natural for me to fight back. Would 762 00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:27,440 Speaker 1: be I'd want to say something and I would stop, 763 00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:30,080 Speaker 1: and I'd be self aware and say, is it something? 764 00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:32,560 Speaker 1: Is this something you really need to challenge him on? 765 00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:35,399 Speaker 1: And then I realized that if I didn't bring it up, 766 00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:39,239 Speaker 1: that feeling to want to do it kind of went 767 00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:42,120 Speaker 1: away because it really wasn't a big deal and and 768 00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:44,880 Speaker 1: I could rest. And then I noticed that he could rest, 769 00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:47,040 Speaker 1: and it was more of an ego thing. It was 770 00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:51,399 Speaker 1: just me thinking that I needed to prove myself to him. 771 00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:54,200 Speaker 1: It's it's really interesting. It's just I became way more 772 00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:58,520 Speaker 1: self aware and I started to practice more forgiveness because 773 00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:00,799 Speaker 1: there was stuff that I was still holding onto with 774 00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:04,080 Speaker 1: men that had hurt me in my life. Because we 775 00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:06,560 Speaker 1: sat down and talked one day and when I was 776 00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:09,000 Speaker 1: in high school, the first couple of months of high school, 777 00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:12,239 Speaker 1: I was sexually assaulted for like the first few months 778 00:42:12,239 --> 00:42:15,440 Speaker 1: of high school, and I had never really talked about 779 00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:19,240 Speaker 1: it until him and I did, and just me telling 780 00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:22,480 Speaker 1: him the story, I started crying. My body started shaking, 781 00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:24,200 Speaker 1: and I'm like, wow, I didn't think this was a 782 00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:26,200 Speaker 1: big deal at all. I mean, I was it was 783 00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:31,040 Speaker 1: years ago, but then that moment showed me that there 784 00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:34,960 Speaker 1: was still more things that I was definitely holding onto 785 00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:37,879 Speaker 1: that I had thought were no big deal, but they 786 00:42:37,960 --> 00:42:41,359 Speaker 1: hurt me a little deeper than I had realized. So 787 00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:44,480 Speaker 1: I had to start practicing more and more forgiveness so 788 00:42:44,520 --> 00:42:47,399 Speaker 1: that I could really let that go. Because I knew, 789 00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:52,520 Speaker 1: foundationally through the times we separated and got back together, 790 00:42:52,800 --> 00:42:57,040 Speaker 1: foundationally like we deeply love each other. I know that 791 00:42:57,080 --> 00:43:00,600 Speaker 1: to be true, even when do you remember even when 792 00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:02,880 Speaker 1: I sat in the car and we were both like 793 00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:06,440 Speaker 1: crying when we had first separated, and I said, I'm 794 00:43:06,480 --> 00:43:10,600 Speaker 1: not done with you yet, Jake ordered because I knew that, 795 00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:14,960 Speaker 1: I just it felt like something different to me, and 796 00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:19,200 Speaker 1: I had such a deep love for him, and I 797 00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:21,319 Speaker 1: just I don't know it was it was different to me. 798 00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:23,640 Speaker 1: It's like the only way I know, it's not the 799 00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:26,480 Speaker 1: greatest word to use, but it was just different. And 800 00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:29,719 Speaker 1: I wanted to do better like you made me want 801 00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:33,400 Speaker 1: to do better. And I feel that way that I 802 00:43:33,440 --> 00:43:45,080 Speaker 1: did that for you too. I think there's so much 803 00:43:45,120 --> 00:43:48,680 Speaker 1: I hear about or in your story where it's like 804 00:43:49,239 --> 00:43:51,120 Speaker 1: I knew I needed to do better, and you're both 805 00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:53,399 Speaker 1: kind of bumping up against each other, which to me 806 00:43:53,520 --> 00:43:57,640 Speaker 1: is what a conscious relationships is. It's like you bump 807 00:43:57,719 --> 00:44:01,279 Speaker 1: up against each other and you find the safety within 808 00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:03,720 Speaker 1: each other, which is what I see in you guys 809 00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:07,680 Speaker 1: to walk on that journey individually and then together, and 810 00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:10,920 Speaker 1: so like as much as maybe Melissa in this scenario 811 00:44:11,040 --> 00:44:14,640 Speaker 1: he was are you you were becoming more aware of 812 00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:17,960 Speaker 1: your blocks and Jake was mirroring that to you, there 813 00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:20,799 Speaker 1: doesn't doesn't seem to be like this disconnect and that 814 00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:24,520 Speaker 1: you both were on this journey individually as well. And 815 00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:28,319 Speaker 1: so I think I guess my question would be how 816 00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:31,799 Speaker 1: important is it for each individual to be on their 817 00:44:31,840 --> 00:44:35,920 Speaker 1: own journey to be able to have their relationship be 818 00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:38,799 Speaker 1: as conscious as I think we all maybe want our 819 00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:45,640 Speaker 1: relationships to be. M hm, So, like, how important is 820 00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:49,320 Speaker 1: it that you can be on your own journey because 821 00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:52,279 Speaker 1: you know, like Melissa could have that awareness or she 822 00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:54,439 Speaker 1: you could say to her, hey, like I'm being really 823 00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:57,080 Speaker 1: repelled by this energy and she could be like, well, 824 00:44:57,120 --> 00:44:59,800 Speaker 1: screw you, then that's your problem, or you know, not 825 00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:03,319 Speaker 1: go inward with it. And so I don't feel like 826 00:45:03,920 --> 00:45:08,200 Speaker 1: people necessarily understand that sometimes when we're bumping up against 827 00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:11,239 Speaker 1: something like that, it's not a bad thing, right, Like, 828 00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:14,240 Speaker 1: it's this it's this awareness that their relationship is bringing 829 00:45:14,239 --> 00:45:17,680 Speaker 1: to you, which is actually a beautiful experience for deeper healing, 830 00:45:17,760 --> 00:45:21,600 Speaker 1: like what Melissa just said, and you got it. I 831 00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:24,640 Speaker 1: got the question. All right, let's go I got for you. 832 00:45:24,719 --> 00:45:29,680 Speaker 1: In response to that, Okay, when you chew food, yeah, 833 00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:34,040 Speaker 1: do you only use your top teeth? No? Actually, I 834 00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:36,960 Speaker 1: think I mostly is not back teeth. Were you probably 835 00:45:37,000 --> 00:45:40,399 Speaker 1: use the top in the bottom? Yes? Oh, yes, top 836 00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:43,040 Speaker 1: and bottom. So you see how there's a balance between 837 00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:47,759 Speaker 1: the top and the bottom both are working in harmony 838 00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:52,560 Speaker 1: to digest the food. Ah, yes, No, if you're not 839 00:45:52,719 --> 00:45:57,040 Speaker 1: working together as a team, yeah, like your teeth do 840 00:45:57,239 --> 00:46:00,560 Speaker 1: in the top and the bottom working in coherence, yes, 841 00:46:02,120 --> 00:46:05,880 Speaker 1: then that relationship is going to be one hell of 842 00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:14,960 Speaker 1: a struggle. We're going to choke, you know. It's like, yeah, 843 00:46:15,400 --> 00:46:17,520 Speaker 1: try it and always like you're usual your tongue trying 844 00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:21,560 Speaker 1: to push it. It's it's weird, it's clunky, it's not fluent. 845 00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:26,320 Speaker 1: So if there isn't a sense of fluid and flow 846 00:46:26,719 --> 00:46:31,720 Speaker 1: in the relationship, you're just gonna keep clunking. You're clunking 847 00:46:31,760 --> 00:46:35,360 Speaker 1: down the road and it's hard that relationship is a 848 00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:38,120 Speaker 1: struggle because you're not working together as a team, and 849 00:46:38,320 --> 00:46:42,399 Speaker 1: that team sometimes has to have disagreements. Sometimes we don't 850 00:46:42,440 --> 00:46:45,680 Speaker 1: agree on things. Sometimes we need boundaries, Sometimes we need 851 00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:48,720 Speaker 1: to say something that feels really uncomfortable, but it's absolutely 852 00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:51,480 Speaker 1: necessary for the growth and the healing and the love 853 00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:54,000 Speaker 1: of our relationship. And I'll share a quick story about 854 00:46:54,040 --> 00:46:58,239 Speaker 1: that too. Probably about maybe four or five months ago, 855 00:46:58,520 --> 00:47:02,640 Speaker 1: there was a point when Melissa was really focused on 856 00:47:02,680 --> 00:47:06,320 Speaker 1: her business, in the development of her business, and it 857 00:47:06,440 --> 00:47:08,600 Speaker 1: was for like a couple of weeks, and we're gonna 858 00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:12,439 Speaker 1: we're gonna talk about Frank anyway. I'm gonna break Frank 859 00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:16,160 Speaker 1: up in this show. I've never talked about Frank before, 860 00:47:16,280 --> 00:47:20,200 Speaker 1: but Frank's We're gonna talk about Franks. It was like 861 00:47:20,239 --> 00:47:23,320 Speaker 1: four or five months ago, and she had like really 862 00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:26,000 Speaker 1: stepped into her masculine in a way that was not 863 00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:29,319 Speaker 1: healthy in our relationship. I support a woman going into 864 00:47:29,320 --> 00:47:32,879 Speaker 1: her masculine, but it's I feel like what works best 865 00:47:32,880 --> 00:47:34,920 Speaker 1: for a woman is when she has a healthy relationship 866 00:47:34,960 --> 00:47:37,439 Speaker 1: with her and her masculine. And she had stepped into 867 00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:41,080 Speaker 1: a way where her energy, her body was just rigid 868 00:47:41,120 --> 00:47:43,760 Speaker 1: and intense, and I could feel it, Like I'm very intuitive. 869 00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:45,959 Speaker 1: I could feel that, I'm like, babe, what's going on here? 870 00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:48,720 Speaker 1: But it got to a point two or three weeks 871 00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:51,839 Speaker 1: into this where I was like starting to feel hurt, 872 00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:53,960 Speaker 1: Like I was starting to feel neglected at this point 873 00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:56,960 Speaker 1: in the relationship. And we had gone through our stuff. 874 00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:58,680 Speaker 1: We had had, you know, had a couple of breakups, 875 00:47:58,680 --> 00:47:59,759 Speaker 1: and I said, but we had been good for a 876 00:47:59,800 --> 00:48:03,160 Speaker 1: long time. And I remember still like standing there and 877 00:48:03,239 --> 00:48:07,759 Speaker 1: saying to her, I'm like, Babe, I know you've got 878 00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:09,520 Speaker 1: a lot going on in your business right now, but 879 00:48:09,560 --> 00:48:11,360 Speaker 1: I want to share with you something that's hurting me. 880 00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:14,560 Speaker 1: Are you able to receive me in this moment? And 881 00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:17,160 Speaker 1: she said, yeah, what's going on? And I told her, 882 00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:20,080 Speaker 1: I said, I'm feeling neglected in our relationship and this 883 00:48:20,239 --> 00:48:24,319 Speaker 1: really hurts me. And she like broke down crying and 884 00:48:24,360 --> 00:48:26,279 Speaker 1: said I'm sorry, Like I did not. I was not 885 00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:30,280 Speaker 1: even aware of this, And she took the steps to 886 00:48:30,440 --> 00:48:34,520 Speaker 1: shift that, to change that. But now, like, as we've 887 00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:38,440 Speaker 1: come deeper into this container of relationship, we've kind of 888 00:48:38,480 --> 00:48:41,560 Speaker 1: made jokes along the way about certain things. And I'm 889 00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:44,000 Speaker 1: gonna poke fun at Melissa and the smaller because we 890 00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:48,440 Speaker 1: were gonna do this, but when Melissa gets really stuck 891 00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:53,520 Speaker 1: in her rigid masculine energy. I remember I said to her, 892 00:48:54,080 --> 00:48:55,880 Speaker 1: I'm sitting there talking her one day, I'm like, why 893 00:48:55,920 --> 00:48:58,239 Speaker 1: are you so stressed out right now? And you're like 894 00:48:58,320 --> 00:49:00,560 Speaker 1: just like huddled up by the out your front of 895 00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:03,040 Speaker 1: your laptop, like, babe, I'm like, you gotta you gotta 896 00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:04,520 Speaker 1: move your body and open a little bit. I'm like, 897 00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:06,080 Speaker 1: I'm not trying to coach you in this moment, but 898 00:49:06,160 --> 00:49:08,640 Speaker 1: like what you're doing is not healthy. Unplugged from that, 899 00:49:08,840 --> 00:49:12,400 Speaker 1: I'm like, you look like this little old man who's 900 00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:14,920 Speaker 1: been locked this side of a closet, punching away on 901 00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:18,120 Speaker 1: a keyboard, with little green banker hat, a little visor on, 902 00:49:18,480 --> 00:49:21,600 Speaker 1: with crazy hair going everywhere. I said, that's your that's 903 00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:23,960 Speaker 1: your inner mask. We're gonna call him a little Frank. 904 00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:27,080 Speaker 1: And I said, and you are not treating little Frank 905 00:49:27,200 --> 00:49:29,880 Speaker 1: right in this moment, and Frank needs some love. And 906 00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:33,440 Speaker 1: so she started laughing. I'm like, go give Frank a hug. 907 00:49:33,760 --> 00:49:37,000 Speaker 1: Stop beating Frank up, stop slapping Frank around, making him 908 00:49:37,040 --> 00:49:42,680 Speaker 1: eight work eighty hours a week to Frank, you know 909 00:49:42,680 --> 00:49:45,359 Speaker 1: what I mean. So I'm like I said, damn it, 910 00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:48,279 Speaker 1: give give Frankie some love, Give your inner mask on 911 00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:51,640 Speaker 1: some love. Stop over using your mask on energy. And 912 00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:54,680 Speaker 1: a lot of women with feminine cores, they're they're slapping 913 00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:57,000 Speaker 1: in their in her frank around you know what I mean, 914 00:49:57,040 --> 00:50:01,240 Speaker 1: Like they're overusing him. You can only take so much, absolutely, 915 00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:04,600 Speaker 1: you know. So that's when they become very rigid and 916 00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:08,280 Speaker 1: guarded and just like they just want to just crack 917 00:50:08,400 --> 00:50:10,920 Speaker 1: open and just scream. At that point, you can just 918 00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:12,920 Speaker 1: feel it in a woman's energy. A lot of the 919 00:50:12,960 --> 00:50:15,719 Speaker 1: women that I've worked with over the years, it's it's 920 00:50:15,800 --> 00:50:19,480 Speaker 1: you can feel the energy to stagnation in her body 921 00:50:19,480 --> 00:50:22,520 Speaker 1: that's built up and backed up energy. It's like the 922 00:50:22,640 --> 00:50:25,440 Speaker 1: river that has stopped flowing and it starts to pool 923 00:50:25,680 --> 00:50:29,120 Speaker 1: up and the water becomes poisonous because the bacteria is 924 00:50:29,200 --> 00:50:32,040 Speaker 1: building in her body. And that's what happens with a 925 00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:35,880 Speaker 1: woman's feminine energy when it stops flowing and it becomes 926 00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:40,080 Speaker 1: stagnant and stuck, and and this oftentimes she's building a 927 00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:44,200 Speaker 1: damn around it with her inner masculine energy. God, that 928 00:50:44,239 --> 00:50:45,920 Speaker 1: makes so much sense to me, because I think I 929 00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:48,440 Speaker 1: mentioned earlier like I get I end up becoming so 930 00:50:48,560 --> 00:50:51,120 Speaker 1: depleted when I live in my mask on so much 931 00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:54,240 Speaker 1: to the point of burnout a lot of times, because 932 00:50:54,280 --> 00:50:56,520 Speaker 1: it is I'm like beating up my inner Frank, and 933 00:50:56,560 --> 00:50:58,239 Speaker 1: I'm just like cool on, Frank, let's go, let's go, 934 00:50:58,320 --> 00:51:02,359 Speaker 1: let's go, and all of our inner people. Yeah, that's 935 00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:04,720 Speaker 1: going to be like a thing. We should make shirts. 936 00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:10,640 Speaker 1: You Know. What's interesting though, is I get how is 937 00:51:10,680 --> 00:51:15,960 Speaker 1: your friend? But it's crazy because I know that when 938 00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:18,799 Speaker 1: I'm in my feminine and I take those breaks, which 939 00:51:18,800 --> 00:51:21,520 Speaker 1: I usually am great at doing, it's like breaks being 940 00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:23,640 Speaker 1: my feminine and I don't spend a ton of time 941 00:51:23,680 --> 00:51:26,640 Speaker 1: on my computer. But where was I going with this? 942 00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:30,160 Speaker 1: You Now, I'm all like feminine now, but I know 943 00:51:30,320 --> 00:51:33,360 Speaker 1: that when I allow those times when I have a 944 00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:35,919 Speaker 1: lot of work to do to be in my feminine more, 945 00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:41,360 Speaker 1: I actually create better things. I'm better in my business. 946 00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:46,680 Speaker 1: So but not right, I'm more like all of these 947 00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:49,440 Speaker 1: like quotes and ideas just like start flowing out of me. 948 00:51:50,040 --> 00:51:52,880 Speaker 1: And so at the times when sometimes you know, we 949 00:51:52,920 --> 00:51:55,239 Speaker 1: all kind of get back into our old way of 950 00:51:55,280 --> 00:51:58,719 Speaker 1: being and he'll he'll be like hey, Frank, and I'm 951 00:51:58,719 --> 00:52:03,000 Speaker 1: like all right, right, like it's him saying that has 952 00:52:03,480 --> 00:52:07,239 Speaker 1: made it me, made me realize how silly it is 953 00:52:07,560 --> 00:52:10,680 Speaker 1: to get myself there. So it softens me to hear 954 00:52:10,760 --> 00:52:14,160 Speaker 1: the name Frank now, you know, like, yeah, we get 955 00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:17,000 Speaker 1: so serious and brigid and stressed out and like half 956 00:52:17,000 --> 00:52:20,759 Speaker 1: the things that worry about don't really matter because we're 957 00:52:20,840 --> 00:52:24,040 Speaker 1: just sucking the fun out of everything. So giving a 958 00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:27,359 Speaker 1: funny name to the crazy masculine energy that you have 959 00:52:27,520 --> 00:52:30,200 Speaker 1: sometimes really can just show you how silly it is, 960 00:52:30,239 --> 00:52:32,319 Speaker 1: like how silly you're being in that moment instead of 961 00:52:32,400 --> 00:52:36,440 Speaker 1: judging yourself. Yeah, I love that. Do Frank me to hug? 962 00:52:36,640 --> 00:52:40,520 Speaker 1: That's like that's the T shirt? Uh? Well, I love 963 00:52:40,560 --> 00:52:42,959 Speaker 1: all the work with masculine feminine energy. As I mentioned 964 00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:44,520 Speaker 1: to you guys, if you have not listened to the 965 00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:46,759 Speaker 1: other podcasts I've done with Jake, go check those out 966 00:52:46,840 --> 00:52:49,239 Speaker 1: because I do feel like you communicate it in a 967 00:52:49,239 --> 00:52:53,080 Speaker 1: way that is very clear, and some of this stuff 968 00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:55,560 Speaker 1: can be kind of overwhelming as you first began learning 969 00:52:55,600 --> 00:52:59,000 Speaker 1: about it, you know, So go check those out. I 970 00:52:59,040 --> 00:53:02,000 Speaker 1: am really excited because you guys are both putting on 971 00:53:02,040 --> 00:53:06,680 Speaker 1: a workshop in January and Dallas around these topics, around 972 00:53:06,680 --> 00:53:10,200 Speaker 1: this masculine feminine energy I'm going and I'm I'm a 973 00:53:10,239 --> 00:53:13,120 Speaker 1: little nervous. Is that normal? Like I'm like, what do 974 00:53:13,120 --> 00:53:16,680 Speaker 1: you mean? What am I gonna experience here? Um? But 975 00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:19,279 Speaker 1: I really do want to dive deeper into this kind 976 00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:22,400 Speaker 1: of healing because even the small amounts that I've learned 977 00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:26,040 Speaker 1: from doing your online workshop and then the conversations we've had, 978 00:53:26,360 --> 00:53:28,080 Speaker 1: it is like a release and it is sort of 979 00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:30,000 Speaker 1: like what you were just saying, Melissa, where it's like 980 00:53:30,760 --> 00:53:33,600 Speaker 1: I can feel a little more when I'm in my 981 00:53:33,760 --> 00:53:37,880 Speaker 1: feminine and flowing and my creativity just comes out and 982 00:53:37,920 --> 00:53:41,759 Speaker 1: it just feels very easy and natural. And then I 983 00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:44,960 Speaker 1: can feel also when I'm bumping up against my inner 984 00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:49,160 Speaker 1: Frank and he's tired, and so just I don't know, 985 00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:51,080 Speaker 1: I just want to dive deeper into that. So tell 986 00:53:51,120 --> 00:53:54,440 Speaker 1: me a little bit about the workshop. What can I 987 00:53:54,560 --> 00:53:58,400 Speaker 1: expect without telling me at what's going to happen? And 988 00:53:58,440 --> 00:54:03,280 Speaker 1: do I need to be scared? So just imagine going 989 00:54:03,360 --> 00:54:08,120 Speaker 1: on this journey where you're not exactly sure where you're going, 990 00:54:08,760 --> 00:54:12,600 Speaker 1: but the captain of the ship knows exactly where we're 991 00:54:12,640 --> 00:54:17,239 Speaker 1: taking you right and on this voyage, but as you 992 00:54:17,320 --> 00:54:20,239 Speaker 1: go through this process of integration, which is really what 993 00:54:20,280 --> 00:54:24,160 Speaker 1: it is. It was identifying your core wounds that block 994 00:54:24,280 --> 00:54:27,640 Speaker 1: you from the intimacy you truly desire. That's the first 995 00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:30,560 Speaker 1: thing we focus on is a foundation, right building the 996 00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:33,920 Speaker 1: stronger foundation, But you first have to release the stuff 997 00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:37,520 Speaker 1: that's blocking you from really moving forward in your life 998 00:54:37,760 --> 00:54:43,279 Speaker 1: and specifically your relationships. We all have deep programming and 999 00:54:43,440 --> 00:54:47,800 Speaker 1: we've all been brought into this world that is really 1000 00:54:48,760 --> 00:54:53,440 Speaker 1: driven by fear, shame, and guilt. So we've been deeply 1001 00:54:53,480 --> 00:54:56,600 Speaker 1: programmed with this. In the focus of this work and 1002 00:54:56,640 --> 00:54:59,880 Speaker 1: specifically this workshop and this event is to really bring 1003 00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:03,400 Speaker 1: that pain up and release it so you can be 1004 00:55:03,560 --> 00:55:06,280 Speaker 1: free from that and let that go. It's imagine yourself 1005 00:55:06,320 --> 00:55:09,680 Speaker 1: being weighed down by those anchors and you just you 1006 00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:13,799 Speaker 1: keep walking down this path every single day, and every 1007 00:55:13,800 --> 00:55:16,480 Speaker 1: single day you keep falling in the same hole on 1008 00:55:16,520 --> 00:55:18,600 Speaker 1: the same street. But you know that hole is there, 1009 00:55:19,480 --> 00:55:21,400 Speaker 1: You know that hole is there, but you keep falling 1010 00:55:21,400 --> 00:55:26,480 Speaker 1: in it. So this event specifically is to bring the 1011 00:55:26,520 --> 00:55:28,919 Speaker 1: awareness to that whole and then get you going down 1012 00:55:29,000 --> 00:55:32,520 Speaker 1: a different street in life so you can stop making 1013 00:55:32,560 --> 00:55:37,719 Speaker 1: those same toxic mistakes that are hurting you. And the 1014 00:55:37,760 --> 00:55:40,359 Speaker 1: focus of the polarity and the intimacy and the mask 1015 00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:43,239 Speaker 1: of infeminine energies. That's what we all love. We all 1016 00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:46,560 Speaker 1: love relationships. We all want to understand and learn about 1017 00:55:46,560 --> 00:55:49,279 Speaker 1: how to be in a conscious relationship. And from our 1018 00:55:49,400 --> 00:55:53,520 Speaker 1: embodiment of actually doing this work, we have a very 1019 00:55:53,560 --> 00:55:58,600 Speaker 1: simple process that is practical and digestible. And I'm not 1020 00:55:58,640 --> 00:56:02,160 Speaker 1: like a super intellectual person. I barely graduated high school. 1021 00:56:02,520 --> 00:56:05,799 Speaker 1: I just wasn't good at like like a lot of information. 1022 00:56:06,239 --> 00:56:08,399 Speaker 1: So I teach things in a way that are very 1023 00:56:08,440 --> 00:56:11,720 Speaker 1: easy to digest, that are also very easy to implement 1024 00:56:11,760 --> 00:56:14,640 Speaker 1: into your life. And the same way that Melissa teaches 1025 00:56:14,640 --> 00:56:17,760 Speaker 1: as well, Like she teaches in a very practical way 1026 00:56:17,800 --> 00:56:20,759 Speaker 1: that is easy to digest to understand. Okay, I can 1027 00:56:20,800 --> 00:56:22,560 Speaker 1: do this, I can do this, and I can do this. 1028 00:56:22,719 --> 00:56:25,919 Speaker 1: The foundation very simple tools that you can then take 1029 00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:28,880 Speaker 1: with you and then integrate into your life so you 1030 00:56:28,920 --> 00:56:32,120 Speaker 1: can not only be excited and more passionate and alive, 1031 00:56:32,160 --> 00:56:35,359 Speaker 1: but also have the awareness and the know how. Yeah 1032 00:56:35,480 --> 00:56:37,239 Speaker 1: that makes sense, I don't know it does it makes 1033 00:56:37,280 --> 00:56:40,120 Speaker 1: total sense. I read a part of it was talking 1034 00:56:40,160 --> 00:56:44,480 Speaker 1: about diving into a new depth of intimacy, which I 1035 00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:46,319 Speaker 1: was thinking about it when I first read that because 1036 00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:47,759 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, that's what I want, you know, 1037 00:56:47,840 --> 00:56:48,920 Speaker 1: like I want to be up And then I was 1038 00:56:49,040 --> 00:56:52,680 Speaker 1: just thinking, also how much? And this is another cultural 1039 00:56:52,719 --> 00:56:54,960 Speaker 1: thing to me, But I don't know that we even 1040 00:56:55,000 --> 00:56:59,600 Speaker 1: fully understand what intimacy is um or That's been something 1041 00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:01,719 Speaker 1: that I've bumped up against a lot of people in 1042 00:57:01,719 --> 00:57:04,600 Speaker 1: my life. And so first of all, I just want 1043 00:57:04,640 --> 00:57:09,319 Speaker 1: to ask, what do you guys think intimacy is? Go ahead, Well, 1044 00:57:09,320 --> 00:57:13,439 Speaker 1: there's intimacy with yourself and an intimacy and relationships. But 1045 00:57:13,880 --> 00:57:19,600 Speaker 1: for me, the words that come through strongly with intimacy 1046 00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:27,360 Speaker 1: is honesty, vulnerability, heart centered, And I think that might 1047 00:57:27,360 --> 00:57:32,480 Speaker 1: be it, because an intimate relationship can't it's not. I mean, 1048 00:57:32,560 --> 00:57:36,040 Speaker 1: what do you think about automatically We think like oh sex, sex, Yeah, 1049 00:57:36,080 --> 00:57:40,600 Speaker 1: but sex is such is so much different with someone 1050 00:57:40,680 --> 00:57:45,520 Speaker 1: that you know at like their core, he comes through 1051 00:57:45,560 --> 00:57:49,480 Speaker 1: for you, trust Ulna. So sometimes there will be moments 1052 00:57:49,520 --> 00:57:53,080 Speaker 1: where Jakeole tell me he's something he's thinking or feeling, 1053 00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:56,640 Speaker 1: which I've never had in a relationship before. Is a 1054 00:57:56,680 --> 00:57:59,360 Speaker 1: man that instead of saying like you know, screw you 1055 00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:02,960 Speaker 1: or shut up, or you're being annoying or emotional, instead 1056 00:58:02,960 --> 00:58:05,720 Speaker 1: of him saying all those words to block or to 1057 00:58:05,960 --> 00:58:09,760 Speaker 1: turn me off. He's he'll say what's underneath all of that, 1058 00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:12,760 Speaker 1: like I'm feeling hurt right now, or you're not you're 1059 00:58:12,760 --> 00:58:14,280 Speaker 1: not listening to me. I don't feel like you're honoring 1060 00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:17,520 Speaker 1: my masculine energy like I've never had that. But I 1061 00:58:17,560 --> 00:58:21,560 Speaker 1: am so grateful that he has done that work in 1062 00:58:21,720 --> 00:58:24,400 Speaker 1: order to throw all the foo foo away and like, 1063 00:58:24,520 --> 00:58:26,840 Speaker 1: really tell me what he's feeling, because then I get 1064 00:58:26,880 --> 00:58:29,760 Speaker 1: where I stand and I know how I can show up. 1065 00:58:30,200 --> 00:58:34,440 Speaker 1: So that is our Our intimate relationship is your ability 1066 00:58:34,480 --> 00:58:38,000 Speaker 1: to be completely open and raw and honest with each 1067 00:58:38,000 --> 00:58:41,760 Speaker 1: other and not judge. But it begins with you being 1068 00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:45,200 Speaker 1: open and honest and raw with yourself because there's no 1069 00:58:45,320 --> 00:58:48,160 Speaker 1: way I could be here if I wasn't connected to this. 1070 00:58:49,320 --> 00:58:56,439 Speaker 1: I love that answer. Yes, take what you got. I 1071 00:58:56,480 --> 00:59:01,920 Speaker 1: feel that when it comes to intimacy, it takes a 1072 00:59:01,960 --> 00:59:06,760 Speaker 1: certain level of openness, and in order for yourself to open, 1073 00:59:08,240 --> 00:59:12,360 Speaker 1: you have to trust what you're opening too, and in 1074 00:59:12,520 --> 00:59:18,240 Speaker 1: that trust for both people, a level of safety is created. 1075 00:59:19,240 --> 00:59:23,680 Speaker 1: And if in order to experience true deep intimacy, it 1076 00:59:23,800 --> 00:59:27,920 Speaker 1: is an artful practice. It is a dance between two people, 1077 00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:33,600 Speaker 1: and that dance is not always going to be this 1078 00:59:33,760 --> 00:59:38,600 Speaker 1: harmonious flow like a ballerina moving in the wind. There's 1079 00:59:38,640 --> 00:59:41,320 Speaker 1: going to be times where maybe you trip during the dance, 1080 00:59:41,440 --> 00:59:45,640 Speaker 1: or you fall, or you bump something like it's finding 1081 00:59:45,680 --> 00:59:50,040 Speaker 1: a way back to center, back to balance, so you 1082 00:59:50,080 --> 00:59:53,440 Speaker 1: can continue to hold each other in the most sacred 1083 00:59:53,560 --> 00:59:57,480 Speaker 1: and beautiful way, to continue to open deeper to the 1084 00:59:57,600 --> 01:00:01,360 Speaker 1: love that you truly desire, and to allow a person 1085 01:00:01,840 --> 01:00:06,440 Speaker 1: to see you in your more raw and vulnerable form, 1086 01:00:06,480 --> 01:00:10,200 Speaker 1: without all the filters, without all the makeup behind your screen, 1087 01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:13,120 Speaker 1: but truly standing there in front of you, seeing you 1088 01:00:13,880 --> 01:00:18,640 Speaker 1: raw and vulnerable and naked bear. And when you can 1089 01:00:18,720 --> 01:00:22,720 Speaker 1: be in that container with somebody, that level of depth 1090 01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:28,720 Speaker 1: and that level of vulnerability is so nourishing for us, 1091 01:00:28,800 --> 01:00:31,920 Speaker 1: for our hearts, for our souls to be in this 1092 01:00:32,040 --> 01:00:37,320 Speaker 1: container with somebody, because it gives you a teammate. It 1093 01:00:37,360 --> 01:00:40,480 Speaker 1: gives you a teammate to do this life with right. 1094 01:00:40,520 --> 01:00:42,640 Speaker 1: And it's not saying that you need a teammate or 1095 01:00:42,680 --> 01:00:44,920 Speaker 1: you need to be in a relationship. But what I 1096 01:00:44,960 --> 01:00:49,640 Speaker 1: have found is in my moments of weakness and my 1097 01:00:49,760 --> 01:00:54,440 Speaker 1: moments of doubt, and my moments of insecurity. Melissa is 1098 01:00:54,520 --> 01:00:59,240 Speaker 1: there to give me that little bit of support, that 1099 01:00:59,320 --> 01:01:03,840 Speaker 1: little bit of a stra courage that that those words 1100 01:01:03,920 --> 01:01:06,960 Speaker 1: of I believe in you or I trust that you 1101 01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:10,080 Speaker 1: will figure this out, And just having that little bit 1102 01:01:10,120 --> 01:01:15,520 Speaker 1: of gentle and loving support in that moment makes me 1103 01:01:15,640 --> 01:01:18,320 Speaker 1: feel like unstoppable. It makes me feel like I can 1104 01:01:18,360 --> 01:01:22,960 Speaker 1: get there anything. And sometimes we doubt ourselves, and in 1105 01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:26,960 Speaker 1: the container of a safe relationship and intimacy, it can 1106 01:01:27,000 --> 01:01:29,720 Speaker 1: be so nourishing and healing to us to experience that. 1107 01:01:30,280 --> 01:01:34,680 Speaker 1: So to me, true intimacy is an artful dance between 1108 01:01:34,720 --> 01:01:38,720 Speaker 1: two people coming into deeper union, coming into deeper safety, 1109 01:01:39,840 --> 01:01:51,120 Speaker 1: so you can find that core energy of love. I'm 1110 01:01:51,160 --> 01:01:53,680 Speaker 1: just so grateful that you guys are actually talking about this, 1111 01:01:53,960 --> 01:01:57,240 Speaker 1: because when I was just listening to both answers, I 1112 01:01:57,480 --> 01:02:01,480 Speaker 1: genuinely believe that as human beings, what both of you 1113 01:02:01,520 --> 01:02:04,880 Speaker 1: described is actually what we're seeking in this in this 1114 01:02:04,920 --> 01:02:10,120 Speaker 1: world and in this life. And we get confused by 1115 01:02:10,200 --> 01:02:12,760 Speaker 1: just getting all the stuff, you know, or the band 1116 01:02:12,760 --> 01:02:15,720 Speaker 1: aids like we talked about, because we maybe bump up 1117 01:02:15,760 --> 01:02:18,720 Speaker 1: against something that's uncomfortable in our relationship and instead of 1118 01:02:18,720 --> 01:02:22,280 Speaker 1: doing the work to work around it or to find 1119 01:02:22,360 --> 01:02:26,440 Speaker 1: the intimacy within ourselves. First, um, we just grab another 1120 01:02:26,480 --> 01:02:29,240 Speaker 1: thing or that grass is always greener mentality, And I 1121 01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:33,280 Speaker 1: just think that that's a never ending game. It's just 1122 01:02:33,440 --> 01:02:36,960 Speaker 1: this constant like trying to fill that void, which to 1123 01:02:37,040 --> 01:02:41,200 Speaker 1: me is really intimacy with ourselves, intimacy with a higher 1124 01:02:41,240 --> 01:02:44,320 Speaker 1: power or spiritual whatever it is you believe in, and 1125 01:02:44,360 --> 01:02:48,600 Speaker 1: then that can transfer into your actual relationships. So I'm 1126 01:02:48,600 --> 01:02:50,320 Speaker 1: just so glad that you guys are putting the words 1127 01:02:50,360 --> 01:02:53,360 Speaker 1: to that so people can learn another way, you know, 1128 01:02:53,400 --> 01:02:59,640 Speaker 1: like there, Yeah, that's right. Your relationship with God the 1129 01:02:59,720 --> 01:03:03,240 Speaker 1: unit first source, your relationship with self, your relationship with 1130 01:03:03,280 --> 01:03:07,080 Speaker 1: your lover is all one. There is no separation there. 1131 01:03:07,360 --> 01:03:12,120 Speaker 1: It's all one, intertwined together. It's all connected to the 1132 01:03:12,160 --> 01:03:18,040 Speaker 1: same heartbeat of the universe. So when you realize that 1133 01:03:18,160 --> 01:03:21,320 Speaker 1: that there is no separation, that's just your ego division. 1134 01:03:24,560 --> 01:03:28,600 Speaker 1: I'm still working on that one. There's always something to 1135 01:03:28,640 --> 01:03:33,880 Speaker 1: work all working on. We're here, right, so right, that 1136 01:03:33,960 --> 01:03:38,920 Speaker 1: doesn't mean you're not enough just because you're working on something. 1137 01:03:39,160 --> 01:03:42,360 Speaker 1: Just there's just different levels. There's just different levels to stuff. 1138 01:03:42,960 --> 01:03:45,439 Speaker 1: There's things that other people have mastered that I have not. 1139 01:03:46,160 --> 01:03:51,840 Speaker 1: I'm just really obsessed with mask and feminine relationships. But 1140 01:03:51,880 --> 01:03:54,600 Speaker 1: guess what, I still struggle in them at times. Of course, 1141 01:03:55,240 --> 01:03:57,120 Speaker 1: you know, sometimes when I have to go set a 1142 01:03:57,160 --> 01:04:00,600 Speaker 1: boundary with my father, it's very hard. And as much 1143 01:04:00,640 --> 01:04:03,720 Speaker 1: as I've practiced boundaries, I teach boundaries. You asked what 1144 01:04:03,760 --> 01:04:05,720 Speaker 1: we're gonna be doing at the workshop, Wait until you 1145 01:04:05,760 --> 01:04:08,000 Speaker 1: do the gates of Hell. I've literally seen people throw 1146 01:04:08,160 --> 01:04:12,640 Speaker 1: up during this exercise. Okay, this sounds so fun. But 1147 01:04:12,800 --> 01:04:15,800 Speaker 1: in parallel to that, we'll be doing things like movement 1148 01:04:15,880 --> 01:04:18,560 Speaker 1: to open yourself, and you'll be dancing and mingling with 1149 01:04:18,600 --> 01:04:21,880 Speaker 1: awesome people from around the world. So it's about building 1150 01:04:21,880 --> 01:04:25,120 Speaker 1: those conscious relationships but like minded people. So yes, is 1151 01:04:25,120 --> 01:04:26,920 Speaker 1: there things that are gonna make you extremely uncomfortable? What 1152 01:04:27,000 --> 01:04:28,680 Speaker 1: were you just saying about pain? Well, that's where I 1153 01:04:28,680 --> 01:04:35,240 Speaker 1: grow when I keep burned by the fire. He likes, 1154 01:04:35,400 --> 01:04:38,560 Speaker 1: she likes to paint a little bit. There's it's a 1155 01:04:38,600 --> 01:04:42,160 Speaker 1: blend of being uncomfortable to get you to to to 1156 01:04:42,520 --> 01:04:45,600 Speaker 1: change and shift, to invite you to change and shift. 1157 01:04:45,600 --> 01:04:47,680 Speaker 1: I can't get you to do anything. But then it's 1158 01:04:47,720 --> 01:04:50,680 Speaker 1: also this state of bringing you into this playful, childlike 1159 01:04:50,680 --> 01:04:54,080 Speaker 1: innocence where you're gonna be so open feeling like that 1160 01:04:54,080 --> 01:04:56,120 Speaker 1: that little girl a little boy again, where you're just 1161 01:04:56,160 --> 01:04:59,040 Speaker 1: like free and open and just ready to take out 1162 01:04:59,080 --> 01:05:02,480 Speaker 1: whatever life brings you. That I love because also as 1163 01:05:02,520 --> 01:05:05,360 Speaker 1: an adult, I mean, or the older I get, the 1164 01:05:05,440 --> 01:05:09,320 Speaker 1: more I'm finding it harder to tap into the little 1165 01:05:09,560 --> 01:05:12,640 Speaker 1: kid inside of me or you know that just the playfulness. 1166 01:05:12,720 --> 01:05:16,240 Speaker 1: And I think that we all really we have all 1167 01:05:16,240 --> 01:05:17,960 Speaker 1: these things happening in our lives, but if we miss 1168 01:05:18,040 --> 01:05:21,520 Speaker 1: the joy, that is when it really just gets so darker. 1169 01:05:21,560 --> 01:05:23,120 Speaker 1: For me, it's when I get so stuck in my 1170 01:05:23,200 --> 01:05:26,960 Speaker 1: masculine and I'm not feeling just the presence in my 1171 01:05:27,120 --> 01:05:29,800 Speaker 1: everyday moments or just the joy and the happiness and 1172 01:05:29,840 --> 01:05:33,760 Speaker 1: the peace that comes with that. It's all here, exactly 1173 01:05:33,800 --> 01:05:36,240 Speaker 1: our lives right here. We try to solve our problems 1174 01:05:36,240 --> 01:05:38,439 Speaker 1: from here, we try to put happiness, We try to love. 1175 01:05:38,760 --> 01:05:41,800 Speaker 1: So that's why doing the work too, to first come 1176 01:05:41,840 --> 01:05:44,400 Speaker 1: down and like integrate with your body and then release 1177 01:05:44,440 --> 01:05:47,880 Speaker 1: those emotions. It brings me back, like this work has 1178 01:05:47,920 --> 01:05:50,880 Speaker 1: brought me back. I can see the little Melissa all 1179 01:05:50,920 --> 01:05:52,880 Speaker 1: the time, like he always says to like, oh my god, 1180 01:05:52,920 --> 01:05:54,840 Speaker 1: you're just such like a little kid right now. But 1181 01:05:54,960 --> 01:05:57,280 Speaker 1: I but the more I tap into that, the more 1182 01:05:57,360 --> 01:05:59,680 Speaker 1: joyful my life really is because I'm not like, well, 1183 01:05:59,720 --> 01:06:02,760 Speaker 1: what a thinking O doing this? I'm too old? Like 1184 01:06:03,320 --> 01:06:06,480 Speaker 1: we all have that spirit within us. There's no exceptions. 1185 01:06:06,640 --> 01:06:10,840 Speaker 1: And that's even authenticity, right when you're that version an 1186 01:06:10,880 --> 01:06:15,880 Speaker 1: insider tip to from like a masculine perspective, when she 1187 01:06:16,040 --> 01:06:20,160 Speaker 1: is in that feminine playfulness and openness and just not 1188 01:06:20,280 --> 01:06:22,600 Speaker 1: even you know, caring about anything in the world, is 1189 01:06:22,640 --> 01:06:26,440 Speaker 1: truly authentic. That is when I am most polarized to her. 1190 01:06:26,920 --> 01:06:29,320 Speaker 1: The interesting thing about that, it's not when she's like 1191 01:06:29,400 --> 01:06:33,160 Speaker 1: honoring like her inner boss babe mentality and ramming through 1192 01:06:33,200 --> 01:06:35,640 Speaker 1: the day, you know what I mean, Like that's cool, 1193 01:06:35,800 --> 01:06:41,480 Speaker 1: but like I'm polarized to her real playful, feminine openness, 1194 01:06:41,960 --> 01:06:44,000 Speaker 1: right That's when I'm just like I want to step 1195 01:06:44,040 --> 01:06:47,920 Speaker 1: in because there's space there for me to then penetrate 1196 01:06:48,680 --> 01:06:51,760 Speaker 1: in like a most loving way, to penetrate her energy. 1197 01:06:52,280 --> 01:06:58,160 Speaker 1: You know what I mean right now, pun intended, you 1198 01:06:58,200 --> 01:07:03,960 Speaker 1: know what I mean, The masculine wants to penetrate the feminine. 1199 01:07:04,240 --> 01:07:06,240 Speaker 1: And also I mean I'm not just and know everyone's 1200 01:07:06,360 --> 01:07:08,080 Speaker 1: going right to sex when they hear penetration. But I'm 1201 01:07:08,080 --> 01:07:12,080 Speaker 1: talking about penetration in a way of penetrating her whole world, right. 1202 01:07:12,320 --> 01:07:14,640 Speaker 1: But in order for that penetration to happen, and with 1203 01:07:14,680 --> 01:07:17,960 Speaker 1: his consciousness, there has to be an openness. She has 1204 01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:22,000 Speaker 1: to be all to receive his energy, his his outwardly 1205 01:07:22,120 --> 01:07:26,360 Speaker 1: giving energy. But if she's shut down and guarded, there's 1206 01:07:26,360 --> 01:07:29,320 Speaker 1: no room for him to come in. She just holds 1207 01:07:29,360 --> 01:07:34,840 Speaker 1: up the shield again in this heart m I want 1208 01:07:34,920 --> 01:07:37,720 Speaker 1: to like. That's the thing is, masculine men, especially men 1209 01:07:37,760 --> 01:07:40,400 Speaker 1: who are aware, and more and more men are awakening. 1210 01:07:40,400 --> 01:07:43,000 Speaker 1: I see more and more men showing up in this space, 1211 01:07:44,040 --> 01:07:47,680 Speaker 1: masculine men who are aware. They really do want to 1212 01:07:47,760 --> 01:07:52,800 Speaker 1: provide a beautiful experience for their women. They really do. 1213 01:07:53,360 --> 01:07:56,360 Speaker 1: But that's the thing is I often say to Melissa, 1214 01:07:56,920 --> 01:07:58,600 Speaker 1: I want to give this to you. Will you just 1215 01:07:58,680 --> 01:08:00,920 Speaker 1: receive that from me? And I said that in the 1216 01:08:01,000 --> 01:08:03,320 Speaker 1: last podcast, you guys did something. It was something as 1217 01:08:03,320 --> 01:08:07,280 Speaker 1: simple as like him moving your car. It was something 1218 01:08:07,360 --> 01:08:08,920 Speaker 1: and she was like, I can I can do this, 1219 01:08:09,160 --> 01:08:10,920 Speaker 1: which I so relate, so you're like, it's fine, I 1220 01:08:10,960 --> 01:08:14,000 Speaker 1: got it, like him saying no, I really want to 1221 01:08:14,040 --> 01:08:16,639 Speaker 1: give this to you. And that small thing I can 1222 01:08:16,720 --> 01:08:20,160 Speaker 1: totally see where that little communication after would make you 1223 01:08:20,160 --> 01:08:23,160 Speaker 1: be like, oh okay, yes, yes, then please thank you 1224 01:08:23,240 --> 01:08:26,040 Speaker 1: because it is nice and it is as a feminine 1225 01:08:26,360 --> 01:08:31,080 Speaker 1: what we want to like, I want to feel safe 1226 01:08:31,080 --> 01:08:34,040 Speaker 1: and protected and taking care of in that kind of way, 1227 01:08:34,120 --> 01:08:37,840 Speaker 1: even the small things. That really makes me feel safe 1228 01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:40,200 Speaker 1: is when I know someone cares about me to even 1229 01:08:40,240 --> 01:08:44,519 Speaker 1: consider doing those little things. But invite that because I 1230 01:08:44,520 --> 01:08:46,919 Speaker 1: had to learn how to speak up for myself and say, 1231 01:08:47,080 --> 01:08:49,799 Speaker 1: like I think when you come into your feminine power, 1232 01:08:50,240 --> 01:08:52,960 Speaker 1: instead of if you want if I want something from him, 1233 01:08:53,160 --> 01:08:55,280 Speaker 1: instead of saying, will you never tell me I look 1234 01:08:55,320 --> 01:09:00,679 Speaker 1: pretty right there? Like that's that's combative, right. Think about 1235 01:09:00,680 --> 01:09:02,200 Speaker 1: the way or feel into the way you want to 1236 01:09:02,200 --> 01:09:05,720 Speaker 1: communicate what you're craving from your partner, which which I 1237 01:09:05,720 --> 01:09:08,799 Speaker 1: would say, you know, what makes me feel so loved 1238 01:09:08,920 --> 01:09:11,599 Speaker 1: is when you tell me how beautiful I look, when 1239 01:09:11,600 --> 01:09:13,320 Speaker 1: you know I spent a lot of time getting ready, 1240 01:09:13,600 --> 01:09:17,200 Speaker 1: you know. So I'm telling him what I'm desiring. I'm 1241 01:09:17,200 --> 01:09:19,519 Speaker 1: not shooting him down, and it means like I'm not 1242 01:09:19,560 --> 01:09:22,120 Speaker 1: even giving him an opportunity to do it because I've 1243 01:09:22,120 --> 01:09:24,280 Speaker 1: already like told him like this is wrong, this is wrong, 1244 01:09:25,240 --> 01:09:27,840 Speaker 1: it's not inviting, and it's in a lot of ways, 1245 01:09:27,880 --> 01:09:30,639 Speaker 1: it's like pushing his masculine energy away from me, because 1246 01:09:30,720 --> 01:09:35,320 Speaker 1: but I really want it. Woman's ability to express how 1247 01:09:35,360 --> 01:09:40,080 Speaker 1: she wants to be love teaches the man how to 1248 01:09:40,120 --> 01:09:43,120 Speaker 1: be a better lover. That's just what it comes down to, 1249 01:09:43,280 --> 01:09:46,720 Speaker 1: is is Melissa's ability to express her desire what she 1250 01:09:46,840 --> 01:09:50,200 Speaker 1: wants from me shows me how I can be a 1251 01:09:50,240 --> 01:09:53,719 Speaker 1: better lover, how I can be more supportive or nourishing 1252 01:09:53,800 --> 01:09:56,960 Speaker 1: or give her whatever she's desiring, because I do really 1253 01:09:56,960 --> 01:09:58,800 Speaker 1: want to give that to her. I want to give 1254 01:09:58,840 --> 01:10:01,759 Speaker 1: her a beautiful experience and a deep heart I do. 1255 01:10:01,920 --> 01:10:03,960 Speaker 1: I want to create safety, I want to protect. I 1256 01:10:04,000 --> 01:10:06,439 Speaker 1: want to lead as a man, as a mask of man. 1257 01:10:06,520 --> 01:10:09,640 Speaker 1: That's what I desire. And when she shows me what 1258 01:10:09,760 --> 01:10:13,960 Speaker 1: she really desires and she honors like that full body yes, 1259 01:10:14,120 --> 01:10:17,000 Speaker 1: this is what I want, or full body no, this 1260 01:10:17,080 --> 01:10:21,479 Speaker 1: doesn't serve me. Both of those things help me to 1261 01:10:21,680 --> 01:10:27,360 Speaker 1: really see her in a better way. The learnt thing 1262 01:10:27,439 --> 01:10:30,080 Speaker 1: that happens you express yourself to the person that you're 1263 01:10:30,880 --> 01:10:32,479 Speaker 1: I want to be in a relationship with ore in 1264 01:10:32,520 --> 01:10:35,200 Speaker 1: a relationship with the worst thing that happens is they 1265 01:10:35,200 --> 01:10:37,360 Speaker 1: say no, I can't do that for you, or they 1266 01:10:37,400 --> 01:10:39,880 Speaker 1: walk away, So that really does show like they're probably 1267 01:10:39,920 --> 01:10:42,599 Speaker 1: not really supposed to be there because you know, you're 1268 01:10:42,640 --> 01:10:44,920 Speaker 1: speaking like I would love for this to happen, be like, well, 1269 01:10:44,920 --> 01:10:47,920 Speaker 1: I'm not doing that. Well, okay, I have to I 1270 01:10:48,000 --> 01:10:50,439 Speaker 1: have to stand. I don't want to stay firm, but 1271 01:10:50,479 --> 01:10:52,040 Speaker 1: you do have to stand firm. And what it is 1272 01:10:52,040 --> 01:10:54,599 Speaker 1: that you're really desiring, But make sure you're delivering from 1273 01:10:54,600 --> 01:10:57,840 Speaker 1: a place of love, not from this is what you're 1274 01:10:57,880 --> 01:11:03,240 Speaker 1: doing wrong, because nobody wants to be spoken to like that. Yeahs. 1275 01:11:03,600 --> 01:11:05,519 Speaker 1: And one of the last things I want to say 1276 01:11:05,600 --> 01:11:08,040 Speaker 1: about just what you just said was I do believe 1277 01:11:08,120 --> 01:11:11,040 Speaker 1: that for me, I guess I should keep it on myself. 1278 01:11:11,080 --> 01:11:14,240 Speaker 1: But what you just said about the worst thing that 1279 01:11:14,280 --> 01:11:17,599 Speaker 1: could happen is that someone says no or they leave, 1280 01:11:18,240 --> 01:11:21,000 Speaker 1: and those things can be really scary, especially when you're 1281 01:11:21,040 --> 01:11:23,400 Speaker 1: vulnerable feeling vulnerable in relationships. So I think that's where 1282 01:11:23,400 --> 01:11:25,640 Speaker 1: it does go back to, like this intimacy, with this 1283 01:11:25,720 --> 01:11:29,880 Speaker 1: relationship with ourselves first and knowing that even if someone 1284 01:11:29,920 --> 01:11:33,640 Speaker 1: else can't do that, like you're gonna be okay regardless, 1285 01:11:33,640 --> 01:11:35,680 Speaker 1: And that's just maybe not the relationship for you or 1286 01:11:35,680 --> 01:11:37,240 Speaker 1: anything like that. But I do think a lot of 1287 01:11:37,320 --> 01:11:40,880 Speaker 1: us get stuck in situations because of the fear of 1288 01:11:41,400 --> 01:11:44,040 Speaker 1: what if I express this need or expressed this way 1289 01:11:44,040 --> 01:11:45,439 Speaker 1: that I want to be loved and they say no, 1290 01:11:46,000 --> 01:11:49,040 Speaker 1: like that's scary, right. That's a lot of conditioning with 1291 01:11:49,080 --> 01:11:52,200 Speaker 1: women though, that we've been told that we're too much 1292 01:11:52,240 --> 01:11:55,599 Speaker 1: of everything, like you're too much, your emotions are too much. 1293 01:11:55,640 --> 01:11:58,000 Speaker 1: But it's But what I've learned is normally because a 1294 01:11:58,000 --> 01:12:01,160 Speaker 1: lot of men, the way that they're conditioned is really different. 1295 01:12:01,160 --> 01:12:03,439 Speaker 1: And so if you've been thinking about if you've been 1296 01:12:03,960 --> 01:12:07,240 Speaker 1: holding onto all of your emotions for like your entire life, 1297 01:12:07,600 --> 01:12:10,920 Speaker 1: and here comes this woman who's like emotionally open and 1298 01:12:10,960 --> 01:12:13,439 Speaker 1: it is very expressive, She's going to trigger the crap 1299 01:12:13,520 --> 01:12:16,679 Speaker 1: out of your stuff. And then what are you gonna 1300 01:12:16,680 --> 01:12:18,559 Speaker 1: want to do? Like turn it off, shut it down? 1301 01:12:18,800 --> 01:12:22,799 Speaker 1: Like so we will will be shamed for that because 1302 01:12:22,920 --> 01:12:25,640 Speaker 1: a lot of people are just not in tune with 1303 01:12:25,720 --> 01:12:28,519 Speaker 1: their own emotions. And so the easiest thing to do 1304 01:12:28,560 --> 01:12:31,839 Speaker 1: when you don't understand somebody or somebody else is triggering 1305 01:12:31,880 --> 01:12:33,719 Speaker 1: you is to try to shut it down as quickly 1306 01:12:33,760 --> 01:12:39,920 Speaker 1: as hopefully hopefully, Yeah, and then a lot of men 1307 01:12:39,960 --> 01:12:43,719 Speaker 1: experience that because they have no connection to their inner 1308 01:12:43,760 --> 01:12:47,479 Speaker 1: feminine right, no connection to their emotional world feelings. Men 1309 01:12:47,520 --> 01:12:50,559 Speaker 1: really struggle to feel. So when a woman is very 1310 01:12:50,600 --> 01:12:54,880 Speaker 1: expressive and open and in her feminine he's like, all right, 1311 01:12:54,920 --> 01:12:59,599 Speaker 1: you're too much. You're too much, You're too much right now. 1312 01:12:59,680 --> 01:13:02,439 Speaker 1: You need to stop doing that. This is making me 1313 01:13:02,479 --> 01:13:07,559 Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable because I'm not integrated with my emotions. That's 1314 01:13:07,600 --> 01:13:10,240 Speaker 1: what he's really saying. This is making me feel uncomfortable 1315 01:13:10,240 --> 01:13:12,960 Speaker 1: because I'm not integrated with my emotional world. So I'm 1316 01:13:13,000 --> 01:13:15,960 Speaker 1: either going to try to repress yours or I'm just 1317 01:13:16,000 --> 01:13:18,439 Speaker 1: gonna go ash. She's too much. I'm out and I'm 1318 01:13:18,439 --> 01:13:23,280 Speaker 1: gonna leave. So that's why men have in order to 1319 01:13:23,360 --> 01:13:26,360 Speaker 1: be in a successful relationship with a woman, you must 1320 01:13:26,439 --> 01:13:31,120 Speaker 1: integrate with your emotional world. And the way that I 1321 01:13:31,200 --> 01:13:33,559 Speaker 1: teach men this is very simple, and it's I mean, 1322 01:13:33,560 --> 01:13:37,879 Speaker 1: it sounds simple, is holding a masculine frame while feeling 1323 01:13:37,920 --> 01:13:41,920 Speaker 1: your emotions. Okay, I know what I did was actually 1324 01:13:41,920 --> 01:13:44,160 Speaker 1: probably the reverse of that. I just went all into 1325 01:13:44,160 --> 01:13:46,439 Speaker 1: my feminine, totally lost my mask on frame. It was 1326 01:13:46,520 --> 01:13:49,240 Speaker 1: like just a cup of water just cracked open and 1327 01:13:49,240 --> 01:13:51,559 Speaker 1: went all over the place, But you can still hold 1328 01:13:51,840 --> 01:13:56,040 Speaker 1: the structure of your masculine while holding your container for 1329 01:13:56,080 --> 01:13:58,760 Speaker 1: those emotions. Because when you can hold space for your 1330 01:13:58,800 --> 01:14:02,120 Speaker 1: own emotions, you can then hold space for her emotions 1331 01:14:02,600 --> 01:14:05,759 Speaker 1: and you'll also be much more clear with her, able 1332 01:14:05,760 --> 01:14:09,280 Speaker 1: to lead better. And also the beautiful part about this 1333 01:14:09,360 --> 01:14:11,120 Speaker 1: is you won't be afraid to set boundaries with her 1334 01:14:11,479 --> 01:14:15,759 Speaker 1: when she's not being in alignment with you, because honestly, 1335 01:14:15,920 --> 01:14:18,360 Speaker 1: that's a really beautiful thing that a man can provide, 1336 01:14:18,400 --> 01:14:21,840 Speaker 1: is the clarity within his boundary to say, I need 1337 01:14:21,880 --> 01:14:24,599 Speaker 1: you to stop doing that and it's very powerful, or 1338 01:14:24,800 --> 01:14:26,800 Speaker 1: this doesn't align with me, this doesn't resonate with me, 1339 01:14:27,120 --> 01:14:30,479 Speaker 1: or this is hurting me. These are these are energetic 1340 01:14:30,479 --> 01:14:34,559 Speaker 1: boundaries that we set within our relationships. So for men 1341 01:14:34,720 --> 01:14:38,240 Speaker 1: integrating with their emotional world while holding that mask on frame, 1342 01:14:38,880 --> 01:14:41,599 Speaker 1: it's okay to feel. Learn to cry like a man, 1343 01:14:42,600 --> 01:14:45,720 Speaker 1: learn to feel like a man, and when you do that, 1344 01:14:45,800 --> 01:14:49,800 Speaker 1: you're so much more available in relationships. The nectar that 1345 01:14:49,920 --> 01:14:53,720 Speaker 1: flows in your relationship is so much more beautiful and 1346 01:14:53,840 --> 01:14:56,839 Speaker 1: open and healing when you are integrated with your emotional 1347 01:14:56,880 --> 01:14:59,840 Speaker 1: world and not numb and shut down and that's the thing. 1348 01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:03,720 Speaker 1: Who is a man who's emotionally numb. I call him 1349 01:15:03,800 --> 01:15:07,360 Speaker 1: ramrod Rick right where he's like bulldozing through her flower 1350 01:15:07,400 --> 01:15:11,880 Speaker 1: garden because he's an insensitive prick and he doesn't feel deeply. 1351 01:15:11,920 --> 01:15:14,040 Speaker 1: But when you feel deeply as a man, you're more 1352 01:15:14,080 --> 01:15:17,360 Speaker 1: sensitive to her emotional world and you can much better 1353 01:15:17,760 --> 01:15:21,880 Speaker 1: hold her heart. M hmm. I can't wait to keep 1354 01:15:21,880 --> 01:15:24,720 Speaker 1: these conversations going with you guys, and I cannot wait 1355 01:15:24,760 --> 01:15:26,880 Speaker 1: for Dallas. I'll keep you guys posted on that. If 1356 01:15:26,920 --> 01:15:30,639 Speaker 1: you want to come come see us at this um 1357 01:15:30,680 --> 01:15:34,920 Speaker 1: this workshop in Dallas is January. You can find tickets 1358 01:15:34,920 --> 01:15:38,000 Speaker 1: I know on Jake witterd dot com. Right, is there 1359 01:15:38,000 --> 01:15:40,080 Speaker 1: anywhere else that people should be going to check into 1360 01:15:40,120 --> 01:15:42,880 Speaker 1: that j J A K E w O O D 1361 01:15:43,080 --> 01:15:45,519 Speaker 1: A r d dot com, slash Forward, slash Awake or 1362 01:15:45,560 --> 01:15:47,960 Speaker 1: you can just find out on my homepage wherever. Okay, 1363 01:15:48,080 --> 01:15:52,280 Speaker 1: it's called the Awake Workshop, correct. Yeah, um, I'll be there. 1364 01:15:52,280 --> 01:15:55,160 Speaker 1: Like I said, I'm really excited you guys. Both are 1365 01:15:55,320 --> 01:15:58,320 Speaker 1: individual podcast host as well, so y'all go check out 1366 01:15:58,439 --> 01:16:01,160 Speaker 1: the The Awake with Jake Show. This is the podcast 1367 01:16:01,240 --> 01:16:02,720 Speaker 1: Jake and I've talked about a lot, and he does 1368 01:16:02,760 --> 01:16:05,280 Speaker 1: a lot of the same kind of conversation around masculine 1369 01:16:05,320 --> 01:16:09,280 Speaker 1: feminine energy, also relationships stuff and the Melissa has a 1370 01:16:09,280 --> 01:16:11,760 Speaker 1: podcast called The heart On Podcast. Will you tell us 1371 01:16:11,760 --> 01:16:14,680 Speaker 1: a little bit about your podcast? Absolutely? Sure. So the 1372 01:16:15,160 --> 01:16:20,400 Speaker 1: heart On Podcast is really just me really over emphasized 1373 01:16:20,439 --> 01:16:22,479 Speaker 1: that T there. Didn't you do have to? I know 1374 01:16:22,560 --> 01:16:27,040 Speaker 1: you gotta do that, hear. I love it. I love it. 1375 01:16:27,520 --> 01:16:31,599 Speaker 1: I love it, um really and honestly, I am very 1376 01:16:31,760 --> 01:16:37,000 Speaker 1: much a heart person. I really always have been, and 1377 01:16:37,040 --> 01:16:38,960 Speaker 1: of course through the things we go through, sometimes we've 1378 01:16:39,000 --> 01:16:43,040 Speaker 1: put our wall up, but I love the connection with 1379 01:16:43,080 --> 01:16:46,240 Speaker 1: the heart. And so my mission really with the show 1380 01:16:46,600 --> 01:16:50,080 Speaker 1: is to share whatever comes through for me, different topics 1381 01:16:50,120 --> 01:16:55,160 Speaker 1: around relationships or self love or masculine feminine energies or 1382 01:16:55,840 --> 01:16:59,400 Speaker 1: anything really to help open your heart by sharing mine, 1383 01:16:59,760 --> 01:17:02,559 Speaker 1: just little bits and pieces of my journey and things 1384 01:17:02,560 --> 01:17:05,519 Speaker 1: that have worked for me and things that I love 1385 01:17:05,800 --> 01:17:11,720 Speaker 1: and I I enjoy it so much, and and that's it. 1386 01:17:11,880 --> 01:17:14,320 Speaker 1: So Melissa also has a background of music. You know, 1387 01:17:14,439 --> 01:17:16,400 Speaker 1: she's spent a lot of her life singing, that's where 1388 01:17:16,400 --> 01:17:18,439 Speaker 1: she started out, but she also did a lot in 1389 01:17:18,439 --> 01:17:21,200 Speaker 1: like the radio world too, So it's like she's cool 1390 01:17:21,240 --> 01:17:24,200 Speaker 1: because she had like such a already great speaking voice 1391 01:17:24,200 --> 01:17:27,000 Speaker 1: for that too. Yeah, so you will definitely get a 1392 01:17:27,080 --> 01:17:32,559 Speaker 1: heart boner if you listen to this great on the 1393 01:17:32,640 --> 01:17:37,599 Speaker 1: heart one. I get it, Okay, a little heart boner. Well, 1394 01:17:37,640 --> 01:17:40,000 Speaker 1: I can't wait. And you guys both have really interesting 1395 01:17:40,240 --> 01:17:42,920 Speaker 1: um instagrams to follow. Both of y'all. Melissa does these 1396 01:17:42,920 --> 01:17:45,800 Speaker 1: amazing dance videos that always come at the right time. 1397 01:17:45,840 --> 01:17:47,800 Speaker 1: I think we were messaging about this, but it's like 1398 01:17:48,000 --> 01:17:49,720 Speaker 1: I'll be having a day and I'm just like, are 1399 01:17:50,000 --> 01:17:52,080 Speaker 1: so freshed, and then she puts up this really flowy 1400 01:17:52,160 --> 01:17:54,519 Speaker 1: dance video and I'm like, right, it's okay, let me 1401 01:17:54,640 --> 01:17:57,479 Speaker 1: just you know what's in the thing. The reason why, 1402 01:17:57,680 --> 01:17:59,760 Speaker 1: I mean, I've danced for my whole life, but I 1403 01:18:00,320 --> 01:18:03,439 Speaker 1: for a while and coming into my feminine The way 1404 01:18:03,479 --> 01:18:06,719 Speaker 1: that worked for me the best was through movement and dance. 1405 01:18:06,960 --> 01:18:10,920 Speaker 1: Body can agree with that because it taught me. I 1406 01:18:10,960 --> 01:18:14,519 Speaker 1: had a misconception that feminine energy was my weakness, my 1407 01:18:14,600 --> 01:18:18,320 Speaker 1: weak like soft meak. But it's not that way, Like 1408 01:18:18,439 --> 01:18:21,840 Speaker 1: I was totally off. So the how I learned to 1409 01:18:21,880 --> 01:18:25,599 Speaker 1: trust my feminine energy was first fight, implementing movement every 1410 01:18:25,720 --> 01:18:28,360 Speaker 1: day and the more you learn how to trust your 1411 01:18:28,400 --> 01:18:31,200 Speaker 1: body and connect to it, then you can start utilizing 1412 01:18:31,240 --> 01:18:34,000 Speaker 1: the feminine energy outward into the world and it's it's 1413 01:18:34,000 --> 01:18:37,000 Speaker 1: a powerful space to be in. Amazing when you tell 1414 01:18:37,040 --> 01:18:39,840 Speaker 1: the people your Instagram handle, because I just don't think 1415 01:18:39,840 --> 01:18:44,400 Speaker 1: I can pronounce your last name, I know, I'm gonna 1416 01:18:44,400 --> 01:18:49,200 Speaker 1: also put it in the description of this podcast is 1417 01:18:49,520 --> 01:18:54,559 Speaker 1: that it's Melissa's Yes, her hard name. Her last name 1418 01:18:54,600 --> 01:18:56,960 Speaker 1: is a little tricky to pronounce at this point. I mean, 1419 01:18:57,120 --> 01:18:59,559 Speaker 1: we were talking about you maybe taking on Woodard though, 1420 01:18:59,680 --> 01:19:04,320 Speaker 1: so we'll see how that will. And Jake is at 1421 01:19:04,400 --> 01:19:07,040 Speaker 1: Jake Witdard on Instagram. Thank you guys so much for 1422 01:19:07,080 --> 01:19:11,760 Speaker 1: doing this. I always enjoy the conversation this was and 1423 01:19:11,800 --> 01:19:14,040 Speaker 1: I can't wait to continue. Like I said, so we'll 1424 01:19:14,040 --> 01:19:16,360 Speaker 1: have a lot to look forward to in January. You guys, 1425 01:19:16,439 --> 01:19:19,599 Speaker 1: go check out Jake and Melissa, especially if you are 1426 01:19:19,640 --> 01:19:23,679 Speaker 1: looking to deepen your relationships, even your relationship with yourself. 1427 01:19:23,720 --> 01:19:26,160 Speaker 1: I think they both are doing such great work to 1428 01:19:26,200 --> 01:19:28,599 Speaker 1: help us learn how to do that. So thank you, guys. 1429 01:19:29,040 --> 01:19:32,559 Speaker 1: Thank you thanks for listening to The Velvet's Edge podcast 1430 01:19:32,600 --> 01:19:35,559 Speaker 1: with Kelly Henderson, where we believe everyone has a little 1431 01:19:35,640 --> 01:19:39,759 Speaker 1: velvet and a little edge. Subscribe for more conversations on life, style, 1432 01:19:39,960 --> 01:19:44,160 Speaker 1: beauty and relationships. Search Velvet's Edge wherever you get your podcasts.